Stealing Home

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I opened the bedroom door quietly and looked in. I knew what I would see, knew the torture I was willingly putting myself through. I did it anyway.

Trowa slept on his stomach, his face mashed into the pillow. His bangs stuck up and out at odd angles. The blanket only covered him up to his waist. \"Preserving his modesty\" so to speak. I was quite sure he was naked underneath it. Wufei was lying next to him. The Chinese man was stretched out on his back. His face turned towards Trowa. His hair was unbound and spread out over the pillow so it wouldn\'t make the back of his neck itchy during the course of the night. One tan hand rested on his stomach the other was flung to the side and rested in the small of Trowa\'s back.

The position suited them so much more than the clingy intimacy of spooning. It reflected their relationship, their love, much more accurately. It was real, solid and strong. It didn\'t need the constant reassurance of over zealous displays of affection. The pair seemed above such things. They didn\'t need rampant lip lock sessions to prove their love. No public attempts to mold their bodies together. No, a single touch and a warm glance seemed to express their feelings more accurately, more poignantly than any over the top display would.

I closed the door gently. I knew they had heard me but after the past two weeks they were accustomed to my perverse need. They simply ignored my presence when I did what they assumed to be checking up on them. I admit it was in part to make sure they were well.

I had come to earth originally because of several business meetings I could not put off any longer and I had planned on spending a little time exploring the North American continent. Granted I had been to San Francisco but I hadn\'t explored very much of it and had yet to glimpse the East Coast of what used to be Canada and the United States. I was eager to see it since I had managed to steal away three entire weeks of freedom from Winner Enterprises. I was looking forward to spending time in places where people knew little to nothing about the Winner family and would take me for the wide-eyed tourist I would be posing as. Then, Une had called.

Une and I had met at various times as I contributed large sums to the Preventers and often lent the group my political influence to deal with the more troublesome parties in space. Getting an emergency call from the woman immtelytely made me ill at ease. My fears proved to be well founded.

Trowa and Wufei had been working with a team of Preventers clearing out a cache of illegal firearms from caves in the British Columbia Rocky Mountains. This year the snowcaps were large and avalanches had been common. The team of fifteen was buried in the snow. Une had called to ask for assistance from all hands. I dropped the meetings and went to help, asking all the Maguanacs that were on Earth at that time to join me. It took nearly four days to find them in the honeycomb of caves in the mountain. Some were injured but thankfully there were no fatalities.

After Wufei and Trowa had filed their report, Une had given them stress leave. They shrugged it off, more annoyed at being forced to take a break than thankful. I ambushed them and bullied them into spending time relaxing with me. I knew they would deny it, but for Trowa and Wufei, being buried alive, instead of dying in battle, would have been a bitter pill to swallow. They weren\'t traumatized by the events, merely rattled that they had almost died in such a fashion. I rented a house near the California coast and dragged them to it.

I rested my forehead against the door frame for a moment. If they knew the real reason I watched them was because I needed to see them together, I wonder what they would think. If they knew I peeked in every night not because I thought they were going to disappear like so much smoke but rather that I needed to see them happy, content and in love, what would they say?

I made my way back to my room and leaned heavily against a bare wall. I slumped down on the floor and leaned my head back. I smiled and heaved a contented sigh because they loved, and were loved in return. I looked down to where my upturned hands rested on my thighs and I noticed the appendages blurred.

A blotch of dark rose appeared on my pale pink dress shirt. I closed my eyes against what it meant, refusing to acknowledge the wetnon mon my cheeks and the shuddering breaths I was taking. Acknowledging would be admitting to the soul consuming loneliness and the deep sadness that made my heart heavier every day.

I opened my eyes and looked out the open window.

It was a nice night.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

I took on the unfamiliar stance. I swung and missed. I readjusted, widening my stance, shifting my hips slightly and raised my elbows just a little. I swung again and made contact. I felt a strange vibrating sensation crawl up my arms. I readjusted my grip on the bat and got ready for the next ball to fly at me.

When Duo had first taught me how to bat with a baseball bat, rather than the cricket bat I was accustomed to, I had been dubious. Now, however, I found I loved baseball although I didn\'t get to practice as often as I would like. Batting was aggressive without being violent and gave me a chance to vent frustration in a nondestructive way.

I suppose it seemed a little ridiculous. \"The Billion Dollar Man\" (the media\'s new pet name for me,) was swinging in a batting cage at three AM. Still, it really did help me think. I swung again and watched the ball soar away. This would also, if I were lucky, wear me out so I could get some sleep, instead of lying in bed thinking.

I used to wonder if maybe it hadn\'t worked out between the two of them. If their relationship hadn\'t grown into what it was now. Maybe then, I could have had what I wanted. Yes, it would have been so easy. All I would have to do would be choose between them. Who did I love more? Patient, gentle, levelheaded Trowa; or passionate, determined, independent Wufei?

This wasn\'t the first time I had thought about this; it probably wouldn\'t be the last either. I already knew the answer. Had reached it long ago. I had probably /always/ known the answer. I vented all my annoyance, anger and frustration into one swing, the force of it nearly made me lose my balance. I righted myself and growled in frustration.

At one point I had been stupid enough to believe I /could/ choose between them. I quickly realized I was lying to myself. The reality of it was, I wanted both of them, the matched set. I snorted at my own idiocy and adjusted the helmet on my head. The helmet was just a little too large and it made me feel annoyingly young and small. Granted, at eighteen I was no one\'s senior but the way the helmet wobbled on my head every time I took a swing made me feel as if I was twelve years old and taking on something far to large for me to handle.

I sighed loudly. I really didn\'t feel as clear-headed as I had hoped. I let out another more exaggerated sigh and excepted the fact that I was simply fixated on Trowa and Wufei for the moment and nothing goingoing to help that. The fixation would drop down to a dull roar when I no longer had them within arms reach. They would be going back to work soon just as I would. After that, I would return to myself and no longer sulk and swing bats.

I turned off the pitching machine and left the batting cage more or less the way I found it. I made sure that everything was clean. I left cash on the counter to cover the cost of my time spent in the cage. That was one of my favorite things about Earth, money. The colonies had been using credits or electronic money basically since their conception; earth howevstilstill used paper money and coin. I stuck a hand in my pocket to rattle my change while I used the other hand to reconnect the disabled alarm.

I stifled a laugh as I imagined the look on the proprietor\'s face in the morning. I could only imagine his expression when he found the money and the note of \"I\'m sorry, but I needed to borrow one of you pitching machines for an hour.\" I was positive that would not be what he was expecting first thing in the morning.

My walk home was short but I dawdled, kicking stones, skulking about on various people\'s lawns and snooping in their gardens, disturbing the bits of tamed animal life in the area. It was nearly 4:30 AM before I walked up the sidewalk to the house I had rented.

It was a two-story house, with five bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, a living room, dining room, kitchen and finished basement. By my family\'s standard it was small, but to me it was perfect. Not so large I could get lost in it but big enough to give me space. And enough space for ....... other people.

I let myself into the house making a small sound in the back of my throat so Wufei and Trowa could identify me as the source of the noise and go back to sleep.

\"Quatre?\" Trowa\'s sleepy voice called.

\"Go back to bed Trowa, it\'s just me.\" I said softly.

\"I know. Where were you?\" Trowa asked as he walked down the stairs to stand next to me. He tilted his head slightly to the side and looked me over with a sharp emerald gaze. Sometimes when he looked at me I felt like everything I was, was out on display for him to dissect. His gaze was heavy lidded and he looked far too appealing with sleep-mussed hair and nothing on but a pair of boxers.

\"I just needed to go out.\" I responded. \"I haven\'t been sleeping well.\"

\"We\'ve noticed.\" Wufei replied from the top of the stairs. \"Do you need company?\"

\"I\'m fine.\" I replied, smiling to ease the wrinkle of worry between Trowa\'s eyebrows. I brushed past him and headed upstairs to my room. It was just across the hall from them. Trowa followed me right up to the door. Wufei waited just a few inches beyond.

\"Are you joining me then?\" I teased as I turned to face Trowa.

\"Quatre, you\'re not all right.\" Trowa stated. I shook my head and gave a wider smile. I went to enter my room but was stopped by his hand on my arm.

\"I\'m fine, both of you go back to bed.\" I took the polite softness out of my voice and gave it the sharp edge of an order.

Trowa\'s eyelids flickered at the tone of my voice. Wufei\'s eye took on a sharper look. Apparently I had woken him up a little. rownrowned at me. I met the frown not quite levelly. I drew myself up and stood straight using the one and a half inches I had over him to my advantage.

\"You are / fi/ fine.\" Wufei challenged. He puffed up, noting my change in stance but deflated quickly and marched back into the bedroom. He shot me a look over my shoulder. For some reason the term \"wrongfully accused\" popped into my head. He was hurt by my actions and it made a pain stab in my chest.

\"Quatre....\"

Trowa breathed my name in a way that made every hair on my body stand on end. I stalled, every thought in my head suspended for a moment. Something was about to change. It was frightening. I smiled, this time rather pitifully and shook my head.

\"It\'s all right Trowa. Sometimes..... sometimes I just think too much about things that I shouldn\'t.\"

I hoped he wouldn\'t understand as I let the excuse fall lamely from my lips and waved my hand in a dismissive, flighty fashion. Trowa sighed but said nothing more. I slipped into the room and leaned back against my door. I listened as Trowa shuffled back across the hallway. He shut their door and they began talking in low tones I couldn\'t distinguish. I closed my eyes for a moment and let out a deep breath. Three more days. Three more days of torture and euphoria and then I would be alone again.