Summary

Relena sat in her office typing when Heero walked in looking good in tight black jeans and a leather vest his boot heels clomped on the bare wood floor as he crossed the room to her desk and sat down waiting for her to look up and acknowledge him which she didn’t do for a while. He crossed his leg at the ankle and sighed, “You can’t ignore me while I’m sitting here and we need to talk.”

Relena didn’t look away from the screen, “There’s nothing to say Heero I’m not interested and you love Duo.”

Heero sighed, “Yes I love Duo but I also love you and I’m trying to get you to see that. Look if you’re not into a D/s relationship then fine but won’t you at least give us a chance?”

Relena finally looked away from her screen, “No. You and Duo are perfect for each other and do not need a third person besides I’m not interested in any games you two enjoy playing and now I have work to do so if you’ll just leave...”

Heero sighed frustrated, “Fine but I’m not done you deserve love and if you don’t find it with Duo or I then fine but you should find it somewhere.”

He got up and left and she took a relaxing breath of air after the door was closed and thought how much longer can I keep him and the others in the dark? Not long I can’t let them know and I won’t accept pity or even sympathy I’m a big girl whose lived with it for years I can continue living with it...alone Heero closed the door and walked into the living room where the others were waiting and shook his head as he sat next to his braided lover who spoke up, “I don’t get it Hee-chan she stalked you proclaiming her love and now when you actually accept it she doesn’t want it, is it because of me?” Wufei saw how vulnerable Duo could be and wasn’t pleased that an onna caused this episode of vulnerability and was about to say so when they heard voices and looked outside onto the deck. Relena was dressed in her usual shapeless suits this was an oft white with a beautiful floral trim.

The sliding door was opened and they heard an older gentlemen’s voice, “Lena child he was right you do deserve love whether it’s with two men or 5 I don’t care how many it takes to show you that!”

They were waiting for her to whine and complain about how Duo stole her love but it never came, “No. He chose Duo and I will not stand in the way.”

Pagan shook his head, “You purposely pushed him away right into Duo’s arms by stalking him! That’s not choosing Lena!”

Relena leaned against the railing arms folded across her chest, “So who says I had to be fair he found his lover that’s all that matters.”

Pagan shook his head again, “Lena I’m not getting any younger and I would love to have a great-grand child running around with a blonde braid and unruly bangs with violet eyes that changed to sapphire when happy and obsidian sprinkled with purple when angry and a rich purple when filled with passion.”

Relena shook her head, “Well I’m not sure I could find a kid like that but I can try.”

Pagan sighed, “I don’t want you to adopt Lena I want you to have a kid with a husband or two. I want you to find a man who will look at you and say you’re beautiful because all they see is your pure heart and soul.”

Relena shook her head bitterly, “Even my soul and heart is tainted.”

Pagan sighed despondently, “Will nothing I say reach you? You are so much like your mother, me grand daughter and I’m still deciding on whether it’s a good or bad thing. Well I leave soon for Ireland are you sure you don’t need me to play chauffer any more? Your grand mum can handle herself a few more days’ even weeks.”

Relena smiled and her purplish-blue eyes faded to violet, “I would love to have you stay grand da but I now know how to drive and grand mum is missing you besides you can always visit.”

He nodded then asked, “Do you need help with dinner lass?”

She smiled again, “Oh how I’m going to miss your Irish brogue when no one’s around grand da.”

He smiled and his blue gray eyes twinkled happily, “Aye lass I’ll miss ye too but how will you explain having your chauffer eating dinner with ye?”

Relena grinned and her eyes turned blue with mischief, “Oh who said I have to tell them anything it’s my house and since I cook I’ll feed whoever I please.”

Pagan laughed, “Definitely your mum ye even have her ever changing eyes I wondered if only Zechs inherited traits but you got ye mum’s eyes while your brother has your da’s silver hair. I hope ye kids share your changing eyes. Will ye make an Irish meal since I know you already make Arabian, American, Japanese and Chinese but do ye make a meal for Barton too?”

Relena walked into the kitchen, “Close the door please and not usually he never requests nor do I know what he likes unlike the others especially Duo they make their requests known so I cater to them but no grand da I can not stomach a real Irish meal.”

Pagan laughed, “Aye lass I didn’t think ye could the boyo can’t either nor can he look at it unlike ye who can eat a little so what will ye make?”

Relena laughed, “Yer worse than the boyos I have here so curious and demanding but I do love them anyway. I usually make something simple so they all can stomach it and still eat their ‘usual’ food. I think I’ll make chicken and rice and if you want to add a taste of Ireland then go ahead but keep it light so they all can eat it. I’ll create the side dishes which is their taste of home.”

Pagan nodded, “Who taught ye to cook because I may love me wife but I know it wasn’t her.”

Relena laughed, “Mrs. Dorlian taught me said it was only proper a lady could cook and keep house for when she was married. Now keep going the guys eat at a usual time.”

Pagan nodded, “Aye so they still keep their soldier ways even in peace. What vegetable should we have?”

Relena sighed, “Mixed works that way they eat different kinds of vegetables instead of a certain type.”

A half hour later Relena put the finishing touches on the table then walked out into the living room, “Guys dinner is ready so I hope you’re hungry.” Duo who was always hungry readily followed and took his usual place next to Wufei and Heero while Quatre sat next to Wufei and Trowa then Pagan sat down on the other side of Trowa and Relena sat next to him, which was also close to Heero. She closed her eyes and bowed her head as she silently gave thanks dear heavenly father thank you for this food and the many blessings you gave us. Bless the people who prepared it and thank you for allowing my grand da a safe journey here and please allow a safe journey back in your precious name Amen the pilots watched as Pagan also closed his eyes and bowed his head as he silently gave thanks then looked up at the 5 men and with his eyes asked don’t you give thanks? They nodded and he realized that they gave their thanks mentally without even bowing their heads or closing their eyes so they were alert the soldier ways still strong in their actions.

A few minutes later Relena finished and asked, “Pagan why don’t you start dishing things out you might want to explain what you did to the chicken and make sure they can eat it without any side effects.”

Pagan looked sheepish at her hidden jibe and said mock defensively, “I just put some spices in it.”

Relena smiled, “Yes but maybe they don’t like those spices so tell what spices you used.”

Pagan sighed, “Fine I used sage and an edible flower that only grows in the Celtic Isles it’s harmless and tastes sweet.” Relena nodded and took a leg then passed it around the guys took smaller pieces wary of the new dish but ate reasonable portions of the vegetables. Soon they had finished and Relena stood to clean the dishes and Pagan followed.

The pilots sat just letting their food digest when Duo said, “I never knew she was from a different country I always thought she was born in Cinq.”

Trowa shook his head, “No she probably was born in Cinq it’s just her roots come from the Celtic Isle.”

They heard a loud laugh and then a slap and rushed to see what happened and saw Pagan rub his sore arm, “Sorry lass it’s just hard to believe you were raised in Cinq yet every one knows you were born on Celtic soil unlike the boyo.”

Relena continued to wash the dishes, “No grand da it’s not hard to believe I’m just a good actress who can usually hide the accent except when truly pissed or aggravated. I really don’t want to hide it but people still think I was born in Cinq therefore I shouldn’t have a different accent because I’ve spent my life in Cinq no where else according to them.”

Pagan nodded, “Aye those fools make you out to be a bratty princess who doesn’t understand the harshness of war yet ye do more than they would care to know.”

Relena put away the last plate and wiped her hands on the dish towel, “Aye grand da but its ok I’m used to it and like I promised my brother I will play my part until peace is established then finally disappear so they can take care of it.”

Pagan nodded, “Please tell me your boyos here don’t think of you like porcelain dove.”

Relena laughed with a tint of bitterness, “Oh no, they don’t think that but I can’t tell you what they think of me nor do I care any more. You should head back and tell grand mum I miss her so especially her baking.”

Pagan grinned wickedly, “Oh next time I come to visit I’ll bring a big batch and see if Maxwell’s iron stomach can handle a lot of them.”

Relena laughed as she began getting dessert ready, “Be nice I’m glad he eats a lot because it makes it easier to know when something is wrong. The others it’s harder you have to read between the lines and even then you have to adlib some as well.”

Pagan nodded, “Hmm sounds familiar like a certain Irish princess I know. Lena you’re too busy worrying about every one else you never bother about your own feelings. You realize you’re only human and bleed just like everyone else.” Relena nodded and continued cutting the cake and yelped when the knife slipped and sliced her finger she immediately stuck it in her finger and sucked. Pagan got a damp paper towel and walked over to her and teased, “Just because I said you bled doesn’t mean you need to show me. Now stop sucking your finger I didn’t know you were a vampire guess I should start making your meat raw.” His jibes were met with a cold obsidian glare that surpassed Heero’s and he chuckled sheepishly, “Heh ok fine let me see your finger I need to clean it.” She reluctantly pulled her finger away from her mouth and he wrapped it in the cool cloth and gently rubbed cleaning it then he asked while he was drying it, “Where’s the band aids?”

Relena answered, “In the bathroom it’s upstairs I kept a first aid in each bathroom.”

Pagan looked at her reproachfully, “And what about down stairs incase you cut yourself again and don’t have time to run to the bathroom to get it.”

Relena glared but sighed, “Aye so I’ll go buy another one and I think it stopped so I can get it while you get the dessert and coffee, tea and soda ready.” He looked confused so Relena said, “Go upstairs and get the band-aid I’ll fix the drinks since I know what they want.”

He did as she bade while Relena made two cups of coffee one black with two sugar and one with three sugar and crème, she made two cups of tea one green with sugar and one regular British type with milk and sugar then poured a bottle of Pepsi into a glass and placed them on the tray. Before she could pick it up to take into the living room Pagan returned with the band-aid and put it on after putting antiseptic rub on the cut. He started to pick up the tray but Relena stopped him and picked it up herself and carried it into the living room and set it on the coffee table. The five men walked in and sat down after she and Pagan sat first. They chose their usual drink and a slice of the cake. Duo chose a large piece and was happy it was all chocolate. He wiped his mouth and said, “Thanks Lena it’s good.” The others agreed and they talked then said their excuses and left.

Pagan looked at his grand daughter and said, “Tomorrow I set up an appointment with a doctor and I know you don’t want to go but it’s just to talk then he’ll discuss anything else.”

Relena nodded, “Aye grand da I’ll go only to talk after I’ll decide if I want to see him again.”

He nodded and said, “Goodbye me grand child your grand mum will call tomorrow to make sure ye didn’t skip out on it like ye usually do. I love you.”

Relena hugged him and said, “Moi aussi. (Me too-in French)”

He grinned, “Told your grand mum it was a good thing for ye to learn French. Good night lass.” She walked him to the door and waved as he got into his car and drove away then she walked back into the living room and cleaned up her mess then went upstairs to sleep.

The five lay in their wing cuddling and Duo asked, “Hee-chan do you really want her?”

Heero nodded, “Yes I do there’s so much about her I never knew. Are you ok Kobito?”

Duo nodded, “Hai I just wanted to make sure because I think we all should learn more about her.”

The trio lounging on their bed nodded and they sat up when they heard crashes coming from downstairs. They immediately sat up and reached for their guns then dressed in their boxers and slippers they made their way downstairs and were shocked to see Relena kneeling among broken glass in a silk robe. They hid their guns and Wufei was about to make a comment when Trowa realized Relena hadn’t moved so he moved to her and his foot crunched the glass she moved to the corner and whimpered. The five were confused but also worried. They watched as her eyes looked empty then they filled again with emotion and tears came but she wiped them away and cursed, “Damn fool made a bloody mess which I’ll have to explain. Maybe grand da should’ve stayed. Coffee I just need coffee like a few pots then I won’t sleep.” She stood knowing her plan and left for the kitchen and they heard puttering around they looked at each other then the kitchen when they heard her sob.

Trowa said, “Heero and I’ll go check on her when you cleaned this up a bit then come in Duo. I’ll explain all later unless you’d like to Duo while we’re in there.”

They walked in and saw her clenching the sink so tight her knuckles were red and white as she sobbed ignoring the running water. Trowa spoke softly trying not to startle her, “Relena.”

Relena jumped and flipped the water off and picked the pot up and poured it into the coffee maker and set it down then turned to them, “What are you doing up? I was just making some coffee, was their something I could do for you?”

Heero spoke just as softly, “Lena we need to talk. We saw the mess in the living room do you want to talk?”

Relena shrugged as if it was nothing, “Oh I was looking for something and had a little tantrum it’s no big deal. I’ll clean it up later. You should get to bed don’t want to keep your lovers waiting.” The other pilots heard how she belittled herself and realized it was what they had always done.

Trowa spoke with a bit his ‘seme’ voice, “Relena quit acting we saw it all now let’s sit down and talk.”

Relena went on defensive, “I’m not one of your lovers so that ‘seme’ voice doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t care this is my house I made a mess and I’ll clean it but it doesn’t mean I need to talk about anything.”