Just This Once

Note: I received some excellent concrit,
so I reworked the beginning of the second scene and a sentence or two. I class=grame>doesn’t change the plot so you don’t have to re-read, but I
think it improves the pacing. It also adds interest to the characters, I think.
^_^ All concrit is. welcome.

Edward Elric sat on the couch in front of Colonel Roy
Mustang’s desk while Roy questioned
him about his latest mission. It would have been a routine scene except that
this time something was different about the Fullmetal Alchemist. Roy
watched him carefully, trying to put his finger on what it was. Instead of his
usual indolent posture and the look of bored indifference, he seemed to be
trying to keep from squirming. His breathing was uneven and he kept glancing at
Roy from under his long bangs.

“Fullmetal, are you alright?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” he snapped back.

Inspiration struck Roy
then “is there something you want to tell me about your last mission? class=grame>Something that’s not in your report?”

“What?” Ed’s eyes snapped up to his. “Uh, no, I mean it’s
all there.”

Roy grunted,
doubtful, and looked down at the report in his hand. He glanced at Ed side long
as the boy shifted, slowly uncrossing and re-crossing his legs. Roy’s
eye’s strayed to his lap at that moment and he saw the source of the boy’s
discomfort. The distinct bulge in his fly gave him away. Roy
smirked, ah yes, one of the more annoying aspects of the vigor of youth,
random erections. He looked back up at Ed, a sharp comment on his lips, and
stopped. Ed was staring at him, or more specifically his lips, with a glazed
sort of confusion in his eyes.

Huh? Oh, this again. Maybe it was time to turn the tables
a little. Roy’s subtle rejections
of Ed’s recent advances were not getting through, then again subtle and Edward
Elric were pretty much complete strangers. If he was
completely honest with himself he regretted having to reject the kid. Roy
appreciated beauty when he saw it, and the idea of showing Ed his appreciation
was something that he had to force himself not to dwell on. He felt a small
tingle of excitement. With effort Roy
reminded himself that a court-martial for fraternization was too high a
price to pay, even for someone as amazing as Edward.

Roy changed
tactics, time to “take the bull by the horns” and get Ed to see why he really
didn’t want to pursue this any further. “Edward is there something else you
want to tell me? Something of a more personal nature?”

“Yes,” he breathed, his eyes widened. “I mean…no uh, I
mean…shit!” he slammed his head back against the couch and winced.

Roy stood and
walked around his desk. He sat on the coffee table in front of Ed. Ed’s head
came up, a startled look in his eye.

“It’s alright, Ed,” Roy
soothed. He reached forward and pulled gently on the side of Ed’s knee, urging
him to uncross his legs. Ed resisted for a moment then slowly opened his legs
exposing his crotch. His breath sped up and he looked like he might bolt. “You
can tell me the truth, you know. I was fifteen once too.” Roy
glanced down at Ed’s lap, “is that random, and I just happened to be here, or
is your reaction because of me?”

Ed blushed to the roots of his hair and turned his head
away.

“It’s….” Ed sighed and closed his eyes, “it’s because of
you,” he mumbled.

“Ed, look at me,” Roy
made the command gentle. Ed opened his eyes and turned back to him, the glint
of hunger in that golden gaze unmistakable, his mouth opened just enough to
take in more air. Roy forced
himself to remain calm. He’d made a tactical error. Ed’s pose was suddenly,
obviously, suggestive and if he could see that anyone walking by could see it.
He had to get this situation under control fast or at least back on familiar
territory.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Roy
asked. He added just a hint of condescension to his tone. “I could recommend a
good guidance counselor. It’s very normal for someone your age to have these reactions.”

“Talk about-?” Ed seemed confused for a moment then he sat
up fast, his posture becoming defensive and angry, “Hell, no, I don’t want to
talk about it! You think I wanted to have this happen? What the hell do you
mean ‘someone my age’?”

“No, Ed, I don’t,” Roy
ignored Ed’s second question. “I just think it might help if you could get it
out of your system somehow.” Unfortunately Ed’s brilliant mind jumped to the
wrong conclusion.

“Get it out of…you mean if I – if we….” Ed stammered.

“Had sex?” Roy
finished. “No, Ed, that isn’t going to happen. You’re my subordinate and a lot
younger then me-"

“I’M NOT A CHILD!” Roy
held up his hand to stop him. He looked out his door toward the outer office to
make sure they were not being watched. Fortunately, his other subordinates were
use to Ed’s outbursts by now.

“I’m not saying that you can’t take care of yourself. I’m
saying that the military and many of the people close to us aren’t going to
care about that.” Roy held his gaze
steady in the face of Ed’s glare. “Think about Alphonse, how would he react?”

“I’ve thought about that!” Ed exclaimed. “You think I
haven’t thought about my brother?”

“Of course not, I just wanted to remind you of the facts,”
Roy sighed. Ed was too loud as
usual and the last thing he needed was for someone to overhear them and
misunderstand, or intentionally misconstrue what they were talking about. He
lowered his voice, so only Ed would hear, hoping he’d take the hint and do the
same. “I’m almost twice your age, and despite any rumors regarding my
character, I’m not in the habit of taking teenagers as my lovers.”

“I’m not a child,” Ed protested again quietly.

“It’s not about that,” Roy
sighed again, “Look Ed, if you want to continue to be my subordinate we have to
work past this.”

“Is that a threat, you bastard?” Ed growled.

“No, Ed, it’s a fact. I don’t want any more potential
reasons for the higher ups to think you would be better off under some one
else’s command,” at that Ed subsided. Roy
tried to think of a neutral place they could settle this, unfortunately there
was no place that he could risk having this conversation over heard.
Ultimately, it came down to a choice of the lesser of two evils. “Come to my
apartment tonight.”

Ed’s eyes widened his voiced raised with an edge of
excitement. “I thought you said we couldn’t have sex?”

“Quiet down, Ed, that’s not a proposition. We
obviously cannot have this conversation here.” Roy
felt a moment of panic at Ed’s reaction, but his voice brooked no argument. “It
will give us more time and privacy to talk this out.”

Ed stood abruptly, and Roy
had to lean back quickly or find his face buried in the boy’s crotch.

"Fine, I’ll be there at seven, okay?” Ed pulled his
red coat around him and turned away practically running for the door.

“That will be fine,” Roy
agreed. “Do you know where it is?”

“Yes!” Ed shot back and slammed the door behind him. Roy
didn’t allow himself to wonder how the kid knew that.

src="Just%20This%20Once_files/image001.jpg" v:shapes="_x0000_i1026"> 

Roy was
relaxed and well fed, sipping a drink and reading in his favorite chair, in the
living room of his apartment that evening. By then he had gone over his
argument in his head many times. The logic of avoiding a physical and possibly
more emotional involvement, with Fullmetal was clear in his mind. His
conscience, what was left of it anyway, wouldn’t hear of any alternatives. Roy
felt he had a well laid plan of attack. Admittedly, he’d never had to convince
some one to not want to have sex with him. But he felt confident that he
could persuade Fullmetal to agree with him and look for more appropriate
prospects. If he had known he was going to have to eat those words he would
have run for it.

Ed arrived promptly at seven as promised. Ed sauntered in
to the room as if he owned it. Conveying a confidence only he could emanate at
such an inexperienced age. But Roy
had expected this, Ed wanted something from him and when Edward Elric truly
wanted something he could be a formidable opponent.

Roy had been
his age once and he knew how hard up, no pun intended, a young man could get.
He knew Fullmetal was in a desperate situation and that, yes, it would be
difficult for him to find potential partners. But Ed was resourceful,
intelligent, and to be honest drop, dead, fucking, gorgeous. How hard would it
be? Roy sat before him trying not
to ponder the implications of that statement, and giving his best shot at
posturing himself into an authority figure.

Ed, for his part, had slumped back on Roy’s
couch and spread his arms over the back. He regarded Roy
with a look of keen interest. “Well, now that I’m here,” Roy
swore he saw a slight smirk on Ed’s face, “what did you want to talk about?”

“Ed, you might be thinking I asked you to come here due to
some ulterior motive,” Roy sighed,
“but I didn’t. We really do need to come to an understanding. This can’t
continue. We cannot have any other relationship, except the professional one we
have. Your attraction, while flattering, is not going to go any further with
me.”

“Who said I was looking for a relationship?” Ed snapped.
“I’m not a girl! I’m a guy, incase you hadn’t noticed. I’m not talking about a
relationship. I’m just looking for…interest in something uncomplicated, while
the focus of my life is on restoring Al.”

“Do you really think it’s that easy, to stay
emotionally distant from someone, when you are physically intimate on a regular
basis? Even for a guy?” Roy asked.
Ed’s blatant denial of the possibility of emotional attachments worried Roy.
He obviously thought such intimacy was something that could easily be
disregarded. But Roy knew Ed. His
heart was too big for his own good. He had watched Ed continue to care, time
after time about people he had just met. Risking his own life, getting involved
in the problems of others he had no reason to care about, in an attempt to help
those around him. He couldn’t help but wonder how being truly intimate with
another person would affect Ed. He couldn’t stop himself from wondering,
briefly, what it would be like to be loved by someone with such devotion,
loyalty, and the utter selflessness that Edward Elric was clearly capable of. Roy
was startled out of his thoughts by Ed’s response.

Ed shrugged. “Sure, you do it all the time.”

“Ed, I think you misunderstand me.” Roy
shook is head. How could he make Ed understand how careful he was? How much
effort he put in to his “reputation” “Most of the women I date I only see once
or twice, and even then I rarely have sex with them.”

Ed sat up abruptly, looking surprised. “You mean all that
bullshit about what a lady-killer you are is just that, bullshit?”

Roy looked
insulted. “I think you’re missing the point Ed. I put a lot of time and effort
into dating without becoming attached, or giving any of the women I date a
reason to become attached.”

“So, I’m not asking you to date me,” Ed protested.
“I’m trying to avoid all that. I don’t have time for that and you know it. I
only have time for…the physical stuff.” Ed blushed at little at that.

“’The physical stuff’, Ed?” Roy
barely suppressed his amusement. “If you can’t even say the word sex in front
of me, I think it’s rather obvious you shouldn’t be having sex with me.”

“Of course, I can say the word sex in front of you!
What does that have to do with it?!” Ed growled. “Who should I say it to then,
strangers on the street?!”

“No, Ed,” Roy
blanched at that; Ed had clearly missed the implications of what he had just
said. “But you must know other young men, closer to your own age, who
are…interested.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ve had all kinds of time to make friends
and hang around the dorms, hitting on other guys.” Ed rolled his eyes, heavy
sarcasm in his tone. “You think it’s that easy to just randomly pick up another
guy?”

“I don’t think it’s easy,” Roy’s
frustration was starting to get the better of him. Ed made it sound like Roy
wanted him to act cheap and be careless with his affections. The more Roy
thought of it the more it irritated him. “That isn’t what I meant and you know
it.”

Ed jumped up then and paced the length of the short room.
“Then what do you mean? Explain it to me exactly. Why is it such a big deal? If
nobody else knows, who cares what the higher ups, or anyone else thinks for
that matter? Sure, I don’t like hiding things from Al, but at some point we
will both have sex lives we don’t tell each other about. It’s not like
that’s something most people tell their family about anyway.” Ed made a sound
of disgust. “If you don’t think I’m attractive, or you not into purely physical
relationships, just say so. Stop with the lecture already!”

“Ed, please don’t misunderstand me,” Roy
tried to sooth the agitated boy. “You are a very attractive…young man. I’m very
flattered and if things were different I would jump at the chance you are
offering. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t. I can’t jeopardize
everything you and I have worked for on some misguided sexual attraction.”

“So, what’s one more secret? What’s one more sin?” Ed
argued. “Is it really that much of a sin anyway? How can we judge it a sin for
the two of us to find pleasure and solace in each other? If we both consent to
it then why is it wrong?” Shit, Ed had stacked his arguments too.

“I’m not saying it’s some great sin, Ed.” Roy
countered. “I’m saying I can’t take advantage of you like that and risk someone
like General Haruko finding out. He’s just waiting
for the chance to take both of us down.” Belatedly Roy
remembered that reason, logic, and the threat of higher authority had never
persuaded Edward Elric to change his plan of action in any way. Ed turned away
from him. Roy felt a moments hope
that Ed had accepted defeat. He should have known better.

“If you don’t go for men, I understand.” Ed’s voice had a
frantic edge to it.

“Ed, it’s not that,” Roy
protested.

“THEN WHAT IS IT?!” Ed yelled.

Roy stared at
Ed’s back, Ed’s breath was coming in harsh pants, and his fists were clenched
at his sides. He seemed to still for a moment, then he spun and leapt. Before Roy
could think to move Ed pounced and straddled his lap. Ed grabbed Roy’s
collar in his fists. The look in his eyes was fierce and hot enough to scald.

“Ed, what are you-?” Roy
was cut off when Ed’s mouth collided with his hard. Roy
tried to pull away, afraid his teeth would be chipped. The kiss was sloppy and
too forceful, but Roy’s body took
the opportunity to note that Ed’s lips were incredibly soft. The thought
shocked him into twisting his head to the side, leaving Ed with his lips
pressed to Roy’s cheek, as they
both panted for breath.

“Roy, please,
I’m sorry I just…we’re not getting any where talking. Maybe if I could just get
this out of my system,” Ed babbled. Roy
knew that Ed often took action before he thought of the results of those
actions.  Roy pleaded silently
with his body to resist the force of Ed’s actions.

“Ed, I can’t have sex with you,” Roy
gasped.

“No, not sex, I’m not asking for that,” Ed pleaded. “Just
help me get past this.” Ed unbuckled his belt and started to open his pants.

“Ed, what are you doing?” Roy
tried frantically to push Ed off his lap, but Ed had out maneuvered him. He
grabbed the chair behind Roy’s head
and pinned Roy down by tightening
his thighs. Ed’s powerful, young body had spent too much time running, and
fighting, always in motion. Roy
could not defeat him with brute strength and he knew very little about hand to
hand combat. His form of alchemy always kept the enemy at a distance. They sat
that way for several long moments. Ed’s breathing was harsh against Roy’s
cheek as he leaned his head down until their foreheads touched.

“Don’t you understand that I can’t waste the time to
pursue anyone else right now?” Ed whispered. “I have devoted my life to
restoring Al. It takes all my time, all my energy, and I wouldn’t have it any
other way until I’ve succeeded. But sometimes I just need…something. Sometimes
I need to-“ he paused, “to be touched.” This was said
so low Roy barely heard it.
“Sometimes I need it so bad it hurts, and I can’t, I can’t have that, I may
never have that.”

The edge of despair in Ed’s voice stirred a new guilt in Roy’s
stomach. How could he have thought he could let Ed down easily? How could he
have thought that anything involving Ed would be simple? Roy
wished sincerely that he could do something to spare Ed this suffering. But it
was more then just the risks and judgments of others holding him back. Ed
wasn’t just too young he was too inexperienced. Ed’s desperation for that kind
of intimacy only compounded the possibility that he would get more involved then
was healthy. No matter how good his intentions, Roy
knew he could do more harm then good. Roy
opened his mouth to explain but Ed beat him to it.

“Just this once,” Ed said, and Roy
wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince. “Just touch me once.”

Roy’s hands
tightened on Ed’s thighs. Ed lifted his head a little and met Roy’s
eyes. Ed’s hands released the chair and slid down Roy’s
arms ending by covering Roy’s hands
where they gripped him. Ed scooted forward until his ass was pressed to Roy’s
crotch. Roy’s heartbeat sped up and
he found he had to work hard to keep his breathing even. He watched transfixed
as Ed’s hands moved back to the fly of his leather pants.

“Is it so much to ask?” Ed’s voice was a husky whisper,
“just one experience, one memory to get me through,
until I reach my goal?”

Roy swallowed
hard, his head fell back and his eyes closed, he felt his resolve crumbling. He
heard Ed’s fly open and the rustle of fabric, Ed’s weight shifted and Roy
looked up. His breath caught, he tried to appear calm but no one could have
remained immune to the sight that met his eyes.

Ed was leaning back, his stomach and chest were arched up,
and he had pulled his shirt up to expose them. His left hand drew Roy’s
eyes as it slid down his stomach to the trail of blond curls that stretched
from his belly button to the base of his erection. Slowly his flesh hand
caressed his skin, wrapping around the base of his cock. Ed gasped as he
gripped his hard length. Roy’s eyes
shifted to Ed’s face and he knew that he had lost. The pure heat, the
unrestrained need in Ed’s expression captured him completely. Entranced he felt
Ed’s automail hand lift his right hand off Ed’s thigh and bring it to his cock.

Roy’s gaze
traveled down Ed’s chest and stomach again, down to where his fingers touched
his cock. Guilt warred with desire in Roy’s
heart, but he couldn’t bring himself to say no. He wrapped his fingers around
the hard length. Ed moaned, falling back and thrusting his hips up, moving his
cock in Roy’s loose grip.

“Tighter, please…so close,” Ed begged.

Roy bit back a
moan of his own. He gripped Ed’s erection firmly and began to stroke slowly up
the shaft. When he reached the head he ran his thumb over the weeping slit. He
stroked back down carefully, squeezing just a little bit toward the base.

“YES!” Ed’s eyes closed, his head fell back and his back
arched up again, his weight now braced on his automail arm, as Roy
continued to caress him. Roy’s
heart pounded, his breathing was harsh and lust pooled in his stomach. His mind
yelled pervert! But his body wasn’t listening.

Heaven above, the boy was beautiful like this. He stroked
Ed carefully not wanting to chafe his most sensitive skin. Seemingly of its own
volition Roy’s other hand slid up
Ed’s thigh and over his hip, when his fingers met the flesh of his side Ed
hissed. His hand glided up Ed’s stomach to his chest. When they found a
hardened nipple he pinched gently. Ed cried out and came hard, his hips
thrusting reflexively, and sticky white fluid shot from his pulsing cock,
coating his stomach. Roy squeezed
him one last time and he convulsed, moaning as the last drops dribbled down
over Roy’s hand.

Ed fell forward with his head on Roy’s
shoulder, panting for breath. Roy
moved his hand away, dropping it over the side of his chair to avoid making a
mess on it. His other hand slowly rubbed up and down Ed’s back trying to calm
the boy.

“Ed,” he began.

“I’m sorry!” Ed interrupted. “I didn’t mean to force you
to…”

“Ed, you didn’t-“

“No, I did. I shouldn’t have-“

“Ed, stop it,” Roy
admonished him softly. “I’m just as guilty.”

Ed looked up, slightly panicked then. He managed to climb
off Roy’s lap, but Roy
made no move to stand. Ed fastened his pants with trembling hands.

“Ed, you can clean up in the bathroom,” Roy
offered.

“No, I,” Ed’s breath shook. “No, I’ll just go.” He jerked
his shirt back down over his messy stomach, grabbed his coat and ran from the
room.

Roy’s head
fell forward. He sighed heavily as he heard his front door slam. He stared down
at his erection angrily, still bound almost painfully in his pants, as if to
accuse it of betraying him. Roy
knew he could only blame himself for handling things so badly. He also knew
that the breathtaking sight of Ed, caught helpless in his release, would haunt
him for a long time to come.