Jaded

Disclaimer: I don’t own DB/Z/GT or any of the characters found in this fic. They are the property of TOEI ANIMATION in Japan and FUNimation in the U.S.A. I am not making any profit from this.


Rating –NC 17
Warnings – For the whole story: Language, whips, chains, knife play, character death (of a main character), torture, non-con, yaoi, M/M. OCs. Lemons, limes. OC/Goku, Goku/Vegeta, Goku/OCs, Kakarott/Vegeta, Vegeta/Goku.


A/N: *huggels her extremely busy beta, Pixelgoddess* Oh, and licking. *smirks*


Jaded 9


High Seas

Goku sat on a log on the edge of the clearing surrounding the capsule house. The energies in the house, although calmer, had still been trying, and he needed a moment to escape. The night sounds in the jungle surrounded him: a soothing blanket of white noise. The snap of a twig behind him alerted him he was no longer alone, but he didn’t turn to face the person.

Scuffled footsteps after a moment of hesitation let Goku know that whoever it was, they couldn’t feel his desire to be alone at the moment, or didn’t think it was good for him: whichever.

A hand gently ran through the hair on the side of his head, forced to settle on his shoulder as he flinched away. “I’m not really in the mood for company right now, Vinh,” he stated. Trung wouldn’t intrude, and it certainly wasn’t Vegeta’s style.

His preoccupation and second-guessing threw him off guard when there was a quiet growl, and something flexible and furry wrapped around his wrist briefly, “Don’t tell me I’ve been in that cabin for so long I’ve started to smell like them,” Vegeta’s rough voice was just loud enough to be heard over the din of crickets and beetles.

Goku started. There should have been a dozen different warnings that it had been Vegeta, and not one of the twins, but he had been too self-absorbed to notice them. “No, it’s just…” he flinched away again as fingers gently brushed through his hair once more.

Vegeta withdrew his hand and continued to stand behind the other for a moment, not really certain why he was fighting himself in the first place, forcing his obviously unwanted presence on the other. He had his intentions…but he was concerned about his timing. He wanted to growl at himself for undermining his own instincts, faulty though they may be. Instead he sat down on the same log, facing the opposite direction of the third class.

Goku barely shifted, giving himself more clearance from the other. Vegeta snorted quietly, “Am I that distasteful to you?”

Goku tensed, his meditative state ruined, but he didn’t back away from the direct question, “No, but you confuse the crap out of me. I’m thrown into a state of chaos anytime we are within ten feet of each other. My emotions war with my instincts, my instincts war with my mind, and my mind wars with my emotions. It’s a three-way battle I don’t have a chance of surviving, let alone winning,” Goku dropped his head into his hands, “If your design was to fuck me up, you’ve succeeded,” he hissed quietly.

Vegeta was about to deny having plotted to undermine Kakarott when he stopped himself. He had. He had done so intentionally. He just hadn’t thought through all of the ramifications, and selfishly hadn’t minded the outcomes when they revealed themselves. “I can’t take back what’s been done,” Vegeta stated.

Goku shrugged his shoulders. He was just ranting anyway. He didn’t actually expect Vegeta to understand. Hell, the man hadn’t given a damn for the past three, almost four years. With enough time…maybe he would be able to get back to himself: maybe even repair his relationships with his sons. He just needed time alone: but Vegeta wasn’t cooperating. It was very difficult to ditch the persistent bastard, especially when Goku wasn’t certain he was ready to let him go.

“I can…” Vegeta hesitated, “I can, however, try to remove the trigger words.” It was just a little thing he could offer, but…would Kakarott accept?

“Do I mean so little that you would offer something so miniscule to fix the mess you have made of me?” Goku choked. The very thought Vegeta would offer anything in penance was laughable, but joviality deserted him. The fact it had almost no relevance any more was painful. Still, even the slightest chance to get back that part of himself Vegeta had stolen was something, “Can I trust you?” he flinched even as he said it. Something as simple as having control over his identity shouldn’t take on dark hidden agendas; yet another indication how much he had changed since this whole affair with Vegeta had started.

Vegeta stood, perplexed and insulted by the questions, “Never mind,” he said, turning to the jungle.

Goku growled and spoke before Vegeta had stepped more than a few feet away, “You should have at least expected a little skepticism on my part. I am not the blind, trusting fool I was four years ago, and I won’t ever be again. Thank you for that,” even though Goku said it bitterly, he meant it. "You’ve hurt and taken advantage of me at every turn,” he spoke to the prince’s back, “Why have I done so much? What wouldn’t I do for you, Vegeta?”

Vegeta stood straighter, his tail whipped wildly and puffed out. “I wouldn’t take an innocent life for you.” The memory flashed unbidden to Vegeta’s mind.

But Kakarott had taken an innocent life for him….

…His own.

Vegeta turned back to the other, “I am sorry,” he whispered. ‘You did this,’ his thoughts hissed at him accusingly. ‘You couldn’t bear the evidence of what you weren’t, so you devised to destroy it. Congratulations, another has suffered at your hands.’

If the offer to give him control over his identity again had been a shock, then the unexpected apology from the unmovable prince was a miracle. “I still want you, Vegeta,” Goku said with quiet conviction, “And maybe that makes me more of a fool than I was before, because now, I am not so ignorant.”

Vegeta looked at the ground and whispered, “How could you still want me?” it was easier to speak into the dark with self-loathing, haunting thoughts echoing through his soul.

Goku stood to go to where the prince stood, but Vegeta held out a hand, and he sat down slowly. Even with his emotional shields surrounding him, Goku could feel the conflict Vegeta was going through.

“You’re strong, Vegeta…” Goku thought supportive words would help settle the elite, but he was interrupted before he could continue listing off what he saw as Vegeta’s virtues.

“I’m a fucking whore, and you know it,” Vegeta said between clenched teeth.

Goku flinched back from the term and spoke before Vegeta could continue down that self-destructive path, “What happened with Frieza doesn’t make you a whore…” he was startled into more silence as Vegeta barked a harsh laugh.

“He didn’t take advantage of an innocent child, Kakarott. I was the one who approached him,” Vegeta looked at the other, expecting to see the condemnation he had been taught he deserved in the other’s eyes.

Goku shuddered at the implications, “You didn’t know what you were doing; you were too young,” he said, thinking of excuses to examine what Vegeta thought was the truth from different angles; maybe angles the prince had not thought of.

“I knew enough to know I would gain some level of favor for myself and protection for my subordinates,” Vegeta retaliated, “If I was pleasing enough at what I did,” an involuntary shudder ran through the elite’s body.

“If the Bastard had had any sort of moral marrow, he would have turned you away!” Goku growled back.

“You didn’t,” Vegeta said accusatorily.

“I-i…” Goku stuttered, “It was not the same, Vegeta. Remember? You had to hypnotize me. You had to convince me this was what I wanted!”

“You could have said no after…” Vegeta started.

“After what, Vegeta? After you gave such an outstanding performance?” Memories of Vegeta’s speech in the desert three years ago still twisted Goku’s gut, “I thought it was the only way I could have you!” Goku took the vocal offensive. He mistook the shock in Vegeta’s countenance as condemnation for his emotional outburst rather than the wonder it was. He turned his head away, screaming his frustration into the darkness. He no longer cared if Vegeta saw the wreck he had become.

Vegeta stepped back involuntarily, “Did…did you want me before that happened?” he asked the other in disbelief. His eyes were held wide in awe at the raw emotion he could feel coming off Kakarott. It rolled in waves, barely below the level of a ki attack. The crickets and beetles in the area quieted; they could detect the quiet before a storm. Animals scurried away.

“Yes,” Goku panted out once he gained his breath back, noted he was actually shaking before he continued, “But I wasn’t ready, yet, when it did happen. I had a family I was trying to hold together. Sons that needed a father, Vegeta. You forced this on me, with terms I should have never accepted. After your grand speech about ‘fucking’ and ‘instinct’ I knew you would never accept a relationship in the manner I wanted. So I compromised, when I should not have. I am sorry,” Goku didn’t know if the apology was meant for the prince or to himself.

Vegeta stood in silence, thinking over what the other had just confessed. He spoke quickly as he heard the other take a breath, “You are right. I would not have.”

Goku nodded, as he closed his eyes, face tilting to the stars, “Where does this leave us, Vegeta?”

Vegeta drew a breath at the pronoun Kakarott had chosen, “It leaves us back to the question you asked earlier. Can you trust me?” Vegeta asked, “I don’t know the answer to that either, Kakarott. Can you? It’s a decision only you can make,” not even Vegeta could say if he would or wouldn’t do something that would damage the other sayian more than he already had.

Goku clawed the bark of the log he was sitting on. They had truly communicated more in less than a half a day than they had in the past four years. Yet, nothing concerning Vegeta had been resolved. He sighed in disgust at himself. He was about to do something either very brave, or utterly foolish, “Yes.”

Vegeta shifted uncomfortably. Whatever had passed Kakarott’s lips, he hadn’t understood; it could have been a word or a hiss, “What?”

Goku looked up at the older sayian, “Yes, I trust you.”

Vegeta’s tail unwound from his waist in disbelief. He had pushed this sayian beyond his own limits…and still Kakarott was giving him a second…no, hundredth chance. The tip of his tail twitched; communicating his uncertainty to those who knew how to read him, but it was too dark for Kakarott to notice. The prince finally retraced his steps back to where he had been sitting before. He looked at the log and shook his head, “We need to sit more comfortably,” he told Kakarott.

Goku slid to the ground with his back pressed up against the log. He watched as Vegeta shifted gracefully to the ground. They stared at each other in the dim starlight, the air between them charged with intensity. Vegeta finally cleared his throat, “I will need you to focus on my ki, Kakarott.”

Goku nodded his head. He drew in a sharp breath as Vegeta created a bright, white-blue ki ball. His heart thudded in his chest, and he realized Vegeta was still using the bruit rays; he no longer wondered why he had been so easily influenced the first time this had happened.

Vegeta settled his shoulders, “Relax, Kakarott,” he instructed the other in a neutral tone, before he began weaving his hands back and forth, ki rolling between them.

Vegeta closed his eyes. He’d had no time to prepare for this, and he had no words to speak, as well as keeping himself from transforming to oorazu. He kept his visualization open to the manipulation of the ki ball, but let everything else fade away.

Goku watched as Vegeta’s hands danced; the ki ball seemed like nothing but glitter to the emotion being spoken by the prince’s hands. The movement was entrancing, seductive…Vegeta; or at least the person Goku knew Vegeta could be.

Vegeta let his hands and arms move as he focused independently on what needed to be said. No mistakes this time. He opened his eyes after some time, when he was certain he had his own reaction to the bruit waves under control, only to see Kakarott’s face flushed white in the light of his ki. The other’s eyes were wide open and his breathing had become…ragged? Still, he could tell he had the other’s undivided attention, “Kakarott?”

The hungry growl that came from the other wasn’t very reassuring, but Vegeta pressed on, “I need you to focus on my voice.”

“Yessss?” the dual hiss was even weirder.

“I am going to remove the trigger words…” Vegeta scowled at the smirk that flitted across Kakarott’s face. His eyes narrowed as he figured out what was going on. This was going to have to be worded very precisely. That dual personality wanted to be dominant. The prince may have wanted that a few years ago, but he knew better now. He didn’t need a mix of the two; he wanted one, whole, un-conflicted individual.

Vegeta smirked back, his look lingering longer than the other’s had, because he wasn’t hiding it, “When you wake, Goku will have full access, awareness and control over his sayian instincts,” the threatening growl coming from the other confirmed Kakarott was not happy with this development, “Goku will be free to act on them or not, as he chooses.”

Vegeta was not expecting the decidedly Goku smile that came across the other’s features, but he took it as a good sign, “The trigger words are removed. ‘Repent’ and ‘fusion’ hold the same meaning they did before the first hypnosis. You will wake when the ki ball goes out,” Vegeta stated. He slowed his hands and the manipulation of his ki. He hesitated a moment longer before he extinguished the ball.

Goku slumped into the dark. His heart still thudded heavily in his chest, but he could feel Vegeta’s presence, even if he was still blinded from the light.

“Are you okay, Kakarott?” he could hear Vegeta’s voice.

Goku rolled his head, trying to get his neck to loosen up, and then stretched his arms wide, before nodding, “Yeah, I feel okay. A little…odd. What did you say?”

“I told you that you would have full access, awareness and control over your instincts, but that you would be free to decide to act on them or not, and then I removed the trigger words,” Vegeta thought it was best to omit how ‘Kakarott’ had behaved during the session, “Do you want to see if it worked?” he asked.

Goku smiled, “Yeah, but…hold on. I’ll be right back,” he said, standing.

Vegeta shrugged as he watched the other head towards the cabin. He had no idea what the other was up to, but he needed a moment to be alone any way. He closed his eyes and breathed in the jungle’s scents around him as he waited. The beetles and crickets had started up their strange, nocturnal orchestra again. A smile lifted his lips briefly.

The last thing Vegeta expected to see Kakarott coming back with a set of cuffs and chains in hand. He sneered and growled, tail tip flicking the jungle floor.

Goku hesitated when he noticed Vegeta’s reactions. It took him a moment to figure out what Vegeta was thinking, “No, Vegeta, these are for me. The twins made them,” he said, trying to alleviate the elite’s concerns.

Vegeta drew his eyes away from the detested object and up to Kakarott’s face, “What?”

Goku held the shackles out to Vegeta, “The twins made this set. They are tuned to my ki,” he said as he handed them over to Vegeta.

Vegeta grabbed them cautiously, expecting at any moment to feel his ki sucking away, but it didn’t happen. He watched as Kakarott took off a thick leather glove after he had handed them over.

“There were times I came back here after we…and I wasn’t very nice to them,” Goku explained as he sat, “I didn’t like that behavior, so I gave them the designs for the ones I was making for you,” he said quietly, not looking directly at Vegeta.

Vegeta huffed as he ran the chain through his hand. His thoughts were interrupted when Kakarott held his hands out. He hesitated a moment longer before clasping one cuff onto the offered wrists. He watched as Kakarott shuddered, and had a difficult time not following suit. The feeling was way too familiar, even if Kakarott had only used the chains twice. Vegeta wondered briefly how many times the twins had used this set on Kakarott before he placed the second cuff around the other’s wrist. The lessoning of the other’s ki was as if someone had removed the ground from beneath Vegeta. He hadn’t realized how acclimatized he was to the other’s presence, until it was suddenly eclipsed.

Goku blew out a long breath as he tried to adjust. Even knowing it was coming didn’t help sometimes. “I…I think you can try those trigger words now,” he suggested to Vegeta. Having a substantial amount of his ki locked away while in the other’s presence was disturbing.

Vegeta nodded, “Repent,” he said without preamble. He watched carefully for any change in the Kakarott’s demeanor, but the other just continued to stare at him.

Goku looked at Vegeta, wondering why the other would ask him to do such a thing before he- “OH! That’s one of the trigger words?” he finally asked.

Vegeta smirked back, “Yes.”

“I don’t feel any different. Try the other one,” Goku said with a small frown.

“Fusion?” Vegeta said.

“No, nothing different. Why did you choose those words?” Goku couldn’t help but ask.

“They aren’t terms I would normally use in everyday conversation,” Vegeta said. He gazed thoughtfully at the other. ‘Kakarott in chains….who knew?’ he thought to himself, smirking predatorily.

Goku’s focus was on Vegeta’s answer. He didn’t see the smirk, “Yeah, I guess those aren’t words you would normally use…” he gasped as his hands were lifted by the chains and Vegeta was suddenly in his lap, “Wha?” he asked as his hands dropped behind Vegeta’s back. It quickly changed to a groan as Vegeta unexpectedly pulled his head to the side and licked at his neck.

Vegeta purred at the taste of the other. His eyes narrowed at the other’s scent, and then he chuckled, “Nervous?” he whispered into Kakarott’s ear.

“Well, yeah. The first thing you think of when I am this vulnerable is seducing me?” Goku explained his reaction. He knew that if it had just been a few days before, he would not have been able to show this amount of trust to Vegeta, and if he had, Vegeta would not have accepted it. However…there could have been much worse things Vegeta could have decided on than seducing him. Gutting came to Goku’s mind: he was surprised Vegeta hadn’t decided to gut him instead.

“Hmmmmm,” Vegeta mused, leaning back into the circle of Kakarott’s arms. “What can I say?” he said, using his tail to pick up the shackles before letting them drop again, “Seeing you in those terrible things makes me go into hyper drive.”

Goku gulped as he watched Vegeta strip his shirt off, “Okay,” he managed to whisper as he licked his lips while looking at Vegeta’s bared skin. “You’re kind of heavy when I don’t have use of my ki,” he said, his nervousness making him critique the situation. “I…”

Vegeta growled and pressed his thumb against Kakarott’s lips, “Ssssssh,” he instructed before he forced the other’s head to the side with a gentle push on Kakarott’s cheek.

Goku whined as his neck was assaulted by Vegeta’s teeth and tongue on the opposite side from before. He closed his eyes, focusing on the sensations. He gasped as Vegeta ran his hands up his still clothed chest. “Vegeta?”

Vegeta pressed his nose to Kakarott’s, closing his eyes, “If you don’t shut up, I am going to make you,” he said. He felt the other stiffen a bit, but then his fellow sayian’s body relaxed. He drew his head back, wondering at the other’s devious smirk.

“Really? Promise?” Goku asked, baiting the other, “How?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow at the other daringly. It was a very rare moment for Goku, being able to actually talk to Vegeta before they did…well, and he planned on taking full advantage of it.

Vegeta realized his annoyed statement had been an empty threat, having expected the other to just comply, “I am certain I can find a way,” he said.

Goku leaned in, whined a bit when Vegeta drew back at his movement, and then attacked what bits of skin were still in reach of his mouth. He chuckled as Vegeta howled.

Vegeta let the other have his moment of fun before gripping his hair and pulling his head back, “Na-uh,” he said, shaking his head. He couldn’t help but grin at the other’s sloppy grin, “You did that on purpose.”

“Hmmmm,” Goku agreed, trying to pull away from the prince’s grasp. He growled when Vegeta didn’t give him any slack. He licked his lips, “I know a really good way you could shut me up,” he conspired to the other. This situation, as unexpected as it was, held very little in the way of similarities to the times they had been together in the past four years, and Goku wanted to pursue it…see where it took them.

Vegeta tilted his head to the side, wondering at Kakarott’s sudden, lusty behavior, not realizing it was in direct response to his own change in demeanor, “How’s that?” he asked.

Goku smirked as he looked up at the other, “Shove your cock in my mouth, and I won’t be saying much of anything,” he closed his eyes and drew in a breath, purring at the scent of the other’s arousal. He had no idea what had triggered this role reversal, other than the chains, but he wasn’t going to ruin the moment by examining it too closely.

“Such a dirty mouth, Kakarott. I am shocked,” Vegeta said, even as he stood.

“Want to make it dirtier?” Goku asked as Vegeta stepped out of the loop of his arms.

Vegeta breathed in harshly: the very idea of having Kakarott at his mercy…willingly… “Yeah, I think I do,” Vegeta smirked as he undid the tie on the loaned pants, dropping them below his hips and then to the ground. He was thankful now for the loose fit as he was able to step out of them without taking his shoes off.

Goku licked his lips at the sight of Vegeta’s naked form. He was about to get to his knees when Vegeta surprised him by grabbing his hair again, and leaned onto the log until the back of his head touched. He had no idea what the other was going to do when he brought one of his legs up.

Vegeta smirked as the other jerked in reaction when he placed one foot into the space between the other’s legs. He set his other knee onto the log next to Kakarott’s shoulder. “Already quiet I see,” he said.

Goku got over his shock quickly at the prince’s over-confident statement, “No, not yet. I…” he closed his eyes as Vegeta’s skin slid over his tongue, and hummed.

Vegeta hissed as he watched himself slide into Kakarott’s mouth. He groaned as the other hummed around him, before he pulled it out and pressed back in carefully. He purred and wrapped his tail around Kakarott’s neck for added balance.

Goku was enthralled: he could feel the confident lust rolling off of Vegeta, and aborted his humming in order to add suction to the flesh pumping in and out of his mouth. He wanted his head free so he could take the other deeper, but knew that Vegeta needed to be in charge of this. He shuddered at the feel of fur around his neck, but relaxed when it didn’t tighten more than necessary to keep the other standing.

Vegeta could hear his own breathing becoming ragged. It wasn’t that this was much of a work out, just…why the hell hadn’t he wanted Kakarott’s talented mouth around his cock again? He couldn’t think… “Oh, fuck,” he whispered as he felt his body tense up.

That was the only warning Goku received before Vegeta’s tail was tightening around his throat before spilling over his tongue. He swallowed what he could before he opened his mouth to suck in a breath. He held the rest of himself still as he watched the tension leave Vegeta’s body slowly.

Vegeta let go of Kakarott’s spikes, folding his fingers back out one at a time. He straightened up, running his hands through his hair before laughing at himself quietly. The only thing he was wearing was his boots.

Goku rolled his head to loosen up his shoulder muscles. It had been an intense, but very awkward position. He leaned into the fingers that ran through his hair, “I like that dirty mouth of yours,” Vegeta’s voice sent shivers through Goku.

Goku chuckled, and looked up at the other, “Want to let me out, so I can get it cleaned up?” he asked, holding his hands out.

Vegeta shook his head, “Not yet,” he said, pulling the other up by the chain linking his wrists. He smirked as Kakarott rose obediently. He untied the other’s sash and pressed the shirt it had held back before tracing fingers over Kakarott’s almost glowing skin.

Goku looked down at the top of Vegeta’s head, wondering what was going to happen next. He had been hoping Vegeta would let him out, so he could relieve his aching erection. He panted at Vegeta’s touch…maybe…

Vegeta ducked under Kakarott’s arms. Once he was back in that circle, he spun the other so Kakarott was now facing the log, and tugged at the waist of other’s slacks so the were down around his hips. He stroked the erection that stood at attention, and then looked up to see the other’s helpless expression.

Goku groaned and tried to pump himself into Vegeta’s hand. He growled as the other let go and stepped up on the log. He wasn’t certain what the prince was doing up there, and he opened his mouth to question, but the words stuck in his throat as Vegeta’s mouth descended to his.

His gasp of surprise was put to good use as he felt Vegeta’s tongue enter his mouth. Goku didn’t know what to think, as the other seemed to be exploring every corner of his mouth. He whined as the other drew away to lick at his lips and chin. “What…what was that all about?” he panted. When had Vegeta decided to trust him enough to stick his tongue down his throat?

“I thought it would be fair of me to help clean up the mess I had made,” Vegeta said.

“I think you missed some,” Goku said deadpan: what ever had changed the prince’s mind…Goku wouldn’t mind another one of those kisses.

“Did I?” Vegeta asked; eyes searching his as he bent his head back down. He could feel Kakarott’s lips move against his as the other spoke.

“Yeah,” Goku said before Vegeta’s tongue was ‘searching’ his mouth one more time.
Goku tightened his arms around the other’s waist, but couldn’t force the other to move; he lacked the ki to do so. He whined.

Vegeta reached behind himself, finding the clasps on the cuffs. He pulled his mouth away from Kakarott’s, and pressed his cheek against the other’s, speaking quietly into his ear, following Kakarott’s simple example of just saying what was on his mind, “I am going to let you loose, and I want you to fuck me, hard,” he waited for the other to acknowledge what he had said, before releasing the mechanisms.

Goku nodded, panting. He took long enough to shake the chains loose before he grabbed Vegeta up and then slammed the prince’s back into the ground. He growled as he slammed into Vegeta causing the elite to shriek.

Vegeta gripped Kakarott’s biceps tightly as the other filled him roughly. He moaned as one of his hands was shaken loose, and a long arm and strong hand were used to lift his lower back, and a hand fisted around the base of his tail. He clawed at the other’s back as his other hand was forced to let go as Kakarott fisted his hand in his spikes.

Goku leaned down and nipped at Vegeta’s chest, “You’re going to have to explain yourself,” he said sternly. He slammed himself into the other harshly as Vegeta shook his head, “Yes!” he insisted and squeezed Vegeta’s tail.

“I-I want YOU!” Vegeta screamed, arching away as the other tore into him again.

Goku panted as he continued to fuck the other. “Stroke yourself,” he bit his lip as he watched Vegeta try to get a grip on himself. He didn’t slow to make it easier and growled as Vegeta’s legs cinched around his hips. Before he knew it, they were both howling.

Goku grit his teeth and pulled out quickly, letting the other drop roughly to the ground before leaning back and cleaning the other’s stomach with his mouth.

Vegeta twitched and groaned as Kakarott bit, sucked and licked him clean. He arched as the other dug his fingernails into his sides and pulled down.

Goku bit at the Vegeta’s hip once before rolling to the ground besides him, panting.

They fell asleep without another word spoken, stars sliding past them unwatched.

~o0o~