Star Trek: Gundam

Title: Star Trek - Gundam Episode 10 – A Festive Interlude
Authors: JoIsBishMyoga (JWPname AT AOL. com) and Makoto Sagara (makoto _ sagara 1 AT yahoo. com)
Archive: The usual suspects; anywhere else, please ask first.
Pairings: 3x4, 5x2, eventual 1x2x5
Rating: Mature
Category: Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Action/Adventure
Warnings: Shonen-ai, Language, Fusion, AU
Disclaimers: Mako: Oh, we own nothing, not even our own places to live. We are only borrowing the G-boys and the Star Trek universe for play. We promise to return everything the way we found them. We make no money off of this. ^_^ Jo: Although we sure WISH we did... anyways, if you sue, you'll only be able to take the cat. That'll make my dad very happy, b/c she meows all night and scratches up the furniture. Mako: I don't care what you say, they can't have my dog. MINE!
A/N: Mako: (Peeks out of lurkerdom and sighs.) Yes, still alive, I think. Jo: Braaaaaaaaaaaains. (Zombie.) Mako: Ano... Yeah, well, while I go find some holy water for my co-author... Let's get this show on the road, right? Where were we? Risa, ne? Sun, surf, and Relena. Ew! Jo: Braaaaains? (Finds chocolate bunny left over from Easter. CHOMP!!) Not Relena's fault she's early-eps Relena. Introducing herself to thin air, anyone?
Episode Ten – A Festive Interlude

Duo stepped out of the sonic shower and sighed, grabbing his towel before it fell on the floor. Wufei hadn't moved from the chair, and he still had his arms crossed in defiance. "So, who knew that I was sleeping with such a pouty child?" Wufei growled as eloquently as any full-blooded Klingon. "Yeah, and that's worked since when? You'd better get a shower and dressed too. You know that Q's gonna just come in here and drag you out anyway. Like he said, going to the party is an -order-."

"It is unworthy of him." Snarl, snap, growl. A sulky Klingon would drive any normal man off in seconds. Luckily, nobody aboard the Gundam was normal.

"Right, so, hypothetically, you'd let me go by myself so I could meet someone interesting for the night?" Duo was only half-teasing as he slipped on his black board shorts. When on Risa, it wasn't uncommon for even very happy couples to find others to share a few hours, or days, with.

Wufei boiled up out of his chair, snatched the (very small) pile of clothing from their bed, and stormed into the bathroom to shower. The door barely slid open in time, and closed smoothly behind him.

Duo snickered silently as he ran a brush through his long hair and gave the mirror a very pleased smile as he began the soothing braiding process. When he was finished with that, he put on an extremely nice blue cotton button down shirt; one that the salesgirl had assured him matched his eyes. "'Fei, I'm gonna go help Heero get ready. Meet you in the Hold before we leave?"

A grouchy rumble, muffled by the door and the sonic shower, answered that.

"Uh huh. Love you too," Duo shouted as he left the room. He walked through the small ship until he reached the Sick Bay, where Trowa was examining the former Borg, yet again, and making notes in the datapad. "So, Doc, is he ready to be released for the evening?"

"By medical definition, yes," Trowa replied. "It is necessary to mention that his socialization skills remain far below standard for all known races."

"Well, we let Wufei out in public, so Heero shouldn't be much of a difference, right?" Duo looked at the half-naked boy and smiled. "So, Heero, how do you feel now? Ready to get down and mingle with other people?"

Heero turned a blank look on Duo. "'Get down' is a nonsensical phrase in this context. Elaborate."

Duo sighed heavily. "God, you really kill slang, dontcha? Hm, 'kay, 'get down' means to enjoy yourself at a party." He paused to make sure that was it. "Yeah, I guess that's the closest to a logical explanation I can give ya."

Heero's expression remained blank, almost edging towards bewildered. "Enjoyment is irrelevant."

"Um, no. That's the point of a party, 'Ro, buddy. Trowa, help me out here!"

Trowa raised an eyebrow, tapped a sequence on his datapad, and handed it to Heero. "A summary of the medical and psychological benefits of pleasant leisure time. I'll upload the articles for you to read after the party."

"My God! Don't any of you people know how to have fun without making it seem logical?" He looked at the other two and shook his head. "Forget it. I'm going to the Cargo Hold." He wasn't surprised to find Quatre waiting by the exit, arms crossed expectantly over his chest. "We are surrounded by men without a sense of humour, oh Fearless Leader."

"And you've known this for how long, Duo? I thought you were aware that you were the humour factor on this ship," Quatre said coolly, although not unsympathetic to Duo's frustrations.

"Yeah, I did, but... God, they're all so freaking logical. I had to explain what 'get down' was to Heero, and when Trowa tried to help, he downloaded -articles- about the benefits of 'pleasant leisure time'. It makes it sound so dirty." The braided man shuddered in disgust and crossed his arms over his chest as well.

As if to punctuate this, Heero's voice came floating through the still-open Infirmary doors. "The Borg artificially stimulate production of endorphins. It is an efficient process. Explain the advantages of 'leisure'."

"Argh! I am not. Quatre can handle that one!" Duo yelled. "I need to get out of here. Between Wufei pouting and the other two being so damn boring, I'm about to lose my mind."

"Or what's left of it," Quatre added.

"Ugh, and now you're making fun of me. Look, I'm going outside for some fresh air. If anyone needs me, don't." With that, Duo jabbed the code to release the airlock on the hold's doors and stepped out.

Snickering, Quatre called out, "You have five minutes before I charge you all with mutiny and lock you in the brig for a week."

------------------------------------------

Relena looked around the beautiful hotel's public pool and grimaced. They still weren't there, and she was so looking forward to meeting them again. The blond was nice, and the very handsome Vulcan he was with was rather polite. Of course, the girl couldn't help but notice that they were all rather attractive in their own ways although the one they called "Heero" couldn't be seen very well under the hat, sunglasses, and long clothing. She hoped that they'd take the time to dress so she could admire them more. Even if she was the heiress of a diplomatic family, Relena was still a woman.

Everyone else that she'd invited had shown, and they were currently mingling well. However, they were all boring politicians and friends of her family. There wasn't a soul there that excited her.

Heero took one look at the bright lights, the noisy crowds of people that were-not-them, the glimpse of long blond hair and pink, and turned on his heel. A pathway at a vector of -2,3 from his previous orientation angled between two specimens of Hibiscus tiliaceus risa. The shriveled red petals lay lightly on the dirt, evidence that no biological units had used the path to escape the Relena unit's party.

It would be a suitable location in which to store himself until the festivity process was complete. Heero headed down the path to the beach.

Duo was having a great time meeting all of the Federation elite at the party. While they weren't his normal crowd, he was certainly picking up some very juicy gossip that he'd have to share with Hilde the next time he spoke to her. However, the constant death glare from his Klingon lover was a little more than he could take. After all, how could he enjoy the party with that aimed at him? Determined to solve his problem, Duo sashayed his way through the crowd, smirking as a few women (and even a few of the men) let their hands graze his thighs. "Fei, love, you need to lighten up some," he purred into the other man's ear.

"I will 'lighten up'," Wufei growled, "when I can remove the Peacecraft's presence from my vicinity." His fist tightened on the untouched cup of punch in his hand, but some bright spark had given him one made of transparent aluminum; it didn't so much as creak in his grip.

Duo raised one eyebrow at the cup spilling punch onto Wufei's hand and sighed. "Well, that's not going to happen for a while. Anyway, what's your problem with Relena? I mean, besides her odd stares at Heero, I don't think there's anything wrong with the spoiled airhead." He took that moment to look around for the Borg. "Speaking of... Have you seen 'Ro anywhere lately?"

Wufei's glare was going to give him a roaring headache. "The Peacecraft, disgusting name aside, is the granddaughter of an ambassador," not even a proper one who was still a warrior, "whose greatest achievement was convincing the Klingons to give up her home world, Ventax II." Which was a world that turned out almost nothing but monks, nuns, and pretty postcards of its own scenery. "As for the machine, he snuck off the instant he got within sight of the party."

Duo gave the Klingon his own special glare, one that usually meant Wufei's only friend for the next week would be his hand. "Go. Find. Heero. Now," he said through a clenched jaw as he walked off to help find Heero as well.

Wufei was a valiant warrior. Brave. Strong. Proud. Many species (all the disrespectable ones) would say masochistically suicidal. So he was NOT, under any circumstances, meekly heading off to the path that he'd seen Heero take just half an hour before. Nor was he grumbling under his breath like a proverbial Terran fishwife's henpecked husband. Nor was he noticing how very like a well-sculpted statue Heero looked, standing on the beach under the quarter moons and ignoring the tide lapping at his sandals.

"I see you've not been kidnapped and dismantled yet," Wufei snapped.

"No, I am still as I was. Is there some reasonable explanation as to why I should not be?" the Borg asked as he turned his head only to look at the newcomer.

"Paranoia," Wufei replied, crossing his arms. "Duo's, to be precise. Which sent me out here to babysit," he spat.

"Babysit? That is rather illogical. I am neither a child, nor am I in need of someone to watch my every move."

Wufei snorted. "Have you met Duo?" he asked snidely. "Don't answer that, it's rhetorical. He wants you protected," as if a Borg couldn't break the necks of anybody who bothered it, "so protected you shall be. Until Quatre and Duo come to their senses and foist you off on one of those fool government rehab facilities." And with that, Wufei plunked down in the sand to wait for the night to get itself over with.

"I do not require protection. However, from what I have read, sitting in the sand is not the most logical thing to do."

"And standing in the surf is so much more so," Wufei drawled. Idiot.

Heero glanced down at his feet, as if just now noticing the waves lapping at his toes. He stepped back, shook water off his foot, then set it down and paused. He lifted that foot again, an almost blank confusion flitting across his face.

Hmph. Little fool machine didn't like sand sticking to his feet, did he? Wufei smirked from his spot wisely above the tide line. "Next time, don't get wet."

The sound of someone crashing through the foliage and the giggling that followed swallowed up Heero's reply. And what happened next was a bit daunting for the ex-Borg.

"Oh, Heero! You are here," Relena squealed. "I was so worried that the others had hidden you somewhere. How are you enjoying the party?"

Heero paused for a full seventeen nanoseconds, formulating two potential replies, processing them with Duo and Quatre's directives, and discarding them when they contradicted said directives. He settled on, "Pleasure is the objective of the event."

Relena giggled coquettishly. "That's so droll, Heero." She looked over at the other man. "Oh, sorry. I forgot your name. Wu something, right?"

"Yes." Which was worse, seeming to offer his name or having the Peacecraft mangle it? "Chang Wufei." Hopefully she'd guess his personal name using Federation Standard, rather than his Terran parent's Chinese, and he could emerge with some personal dignity intact.

"Right. I hope you're enjoying yourself as well," she said distractedly. The moonlight reflecting off of something metallic in Heero's direction brought to the girl's attention to the anomalies to his appearance. Reaching up, she barely brushed her fingers against them. "Are these medical implants? They're quite unusual. Who's the manufacturer? I do hope they're up to current standards-- oh, but I'm being rude, I'm sure their unique construction means they surpass the Federation's requirements--"

"They're Borg," Heero replied, scowling but not flinching away from the girl.

". . . I'm sorry, did you just say...? Oh, wow, I had no idea... you must be really far along in your rehabilitation! What group are you with?"

"This unit is Heero of the Gundam."

Relena's face fell into a look of utter dismay. ""This unit"..? Heero, how long have you been free from the collective?"

"Twenty-seven point three days."

"Twen... What? How are you getting adequate treatment?" She turned to look at the half-Klingon. "What are you monsters doing with him? Why isn't he in a Federation-run program?"

Wufei gave the girl a look that would stop a charging wild targ in its tracks. "Aside from the fact that this is the first Federation world we've been on since finding him?" Monsters. Ancestors preserve him from Ventaxian fanatics. "I have yet to figure that one out myself. Feel free to ask Quatre or Duo if you find them, though." They'd twist her into little Mobius knots and spit her out.

"I believe I shall," she stated huffily, grabbing one of Heero's arms as she started to walk back to the hotel and the party. Before she got very far, however, an old man being followed by a girl in chains stopped her progress.

"Ah, there's the Birthday Girl," he said, a cold smile gracing his wrinkled face. "I can see that you are certainly enjoying what this planet has to offer, Relena."

"Duke Dermail, I trust you're in good health," she managed diplomatically, barely able to keep the disgust she felt out of her voice.

"As well as can be expected. However, I'm not at the leisure to sightsee for very long, unlike you, my dear." He laughed at his own joke. It was then that he noticed Heero being dragged along. "And what an interesting toy you seem to have found for the evening. Where ever did you find him?"

"He is a member of a ship currently docked here," the girl muttered, noticing how damaging this could be if word got around that she was cavorting with common space freighters.

"Ah, well, don't let me keep you from your amusement," the older man said with a secretive smile. He yanked on his captive's chains. "Come, Dorothy."

"Explain the difference in your octave and speech patterns when communicating with that human," Heero asked when the man had disappeared.

"Oh dear..." Relena touched a hand to her face in embarrassment. If even poor Heero had noticed, with effectively no socialization skills at all... "It's nothing of importance. Now about your rehabilitation, why don't you help me find your ship's captain?" So she could take him to the side and explain, in very small words considering a freight shipper couldn't be all that well-educated, how to go about putting Heero in a proper Federation program where he could get the help he needed.

Heero calculated the girl's trajectory, then her grip on his arm, and broke free with no more force than necessary, as that would be inefficient. "Designation Quatre Winner, species Betazoid, 1.63 units of human measurement designation 'metric', hair designation 'blon--'"

"She's met the guy," Wufei interrupted. He'd watched as Dermail left, making sure he wasn't attempting to return-- not that it was likely, considering that the Orion slave girl was probably the only way a human that old would be able to enjoy Risa's reputation. Disgusting pervert. But now he had to put up with the damned machine. "She doesn't need a description. And Peacecraft--" Why he wasn't letting the Peacecraft take it away? It wasn't his problem if she let it loose among a horde of unsuspecting, drunken weakling partygoers... oh. "What sort of idiot are you to throw him into a massive crowd without so much as a day in a Federation program?" Use her own argument against her. Hah.

"But he can't possibly--" She stopped short. "I mean, he--"

Wufei felt his lips curl up, baring his teeth. He was pretty sure it wasn't a smirk. "Shock therapy was debunked centuries ago. And I doubt you're qualified to make that decision."

Relena wavered between indignation and the unusual feeling of getting back at the Klingon as much as she possibly could. Gripping the Borg's arm once again, she then crossed her arms over her chest. "Hmmph! I'll just stay with him and make sure everyone knows he's hardly had any socialization and to be gentle."

Heero glanced down at the girl's offending appendage and calculated how much force she was exerting with the hold. It would require more effort on his part than the last time to break free, but it could also mean hurting the Ventaxian. "Permission to terminate?" he asked Wufei calmly.

The Klingon's face flashed between delight, anger, and deep thought before he smoothed it into a look of complacent humor. The sound of footprints on the sand did nothing to break his mood.

"While I'm sure that it would be amusing to 'Fei, and maybe even me, that's not advisable. I doubt that Q would love the idea of having to haul out of another port in as many days," Duo said as he joined his crewmates.

"...Heero, dear, I don't think you've quite gotten the hang of humor yet," Relena simpered, patting the arm that she held captive. "But it's sweet that you tried."

Duo turned to Wufei to see a look of astonished disbelief that quickly changed into one of extreme annoyance. "Is she really that dumb, 'Fei?" the Terran whispered to his cranky lover.

"The species is like your Terran "lemming"."

"You mean those rodents that throw themselves off cliffs?" Duo paused to look at the girl as she tried to convince Heero to walk away with her, unsuccessfully. "Yeah, I can see that."

"Why don't you ask Duo if you can terminate or incapacitate the Relena unit, Heero?" Wufei said after watching the spectacle the girl was creating.

"Affirmative," the ex-Borg replied, turning his attention to Duo, who was trying his hardest not to begin laughing out loud. Of course, none of this was lost on the Ventaxian.

"Mr. Chang, that's not funny! And that's why none of you are suited to reintegrating poor Heero!"

"Look, Sweetheart," Duo cut in, all humor aside, "back down off your high horse and think about what you want to do. It's enough that he's even able to communicate with us without trying assimilate everything in sight."

Heero gave Duo and Wufei a puzzled look. "You are this unit's predecessors in the Gundam."

Duo let out a rather large exasperated sigh. "I have a migraine. I'm going somewhere else. 'Fei, you bring him back in one piece."

"And with everything else equally intact, I presume?" Wufei asked, nearly chipper from the squawks of indignation coming from the girl.

"YES!" Duo yelled, stomping off and muttering the words open bar and alcohol.

"You wouldn't dare harm Heero, Mr. Chang," Relena said, finally regaining some of her composure at the mention of anyone possibly hurting -her- Heero. However, the look the Klingon gave made her second guess talking to him as she just had.

"It would be dishonorable." To attack him for no reason – not to mention Duo's reaction – but to take apart the damned bucket of bolts if he went on a rampage.... Oh yeah, that would be totally kosher, as the Terrans say. "Please remove yourself from the Borg so that I might take him back to our ship." His voice implied the 'or else', and he was pleased to see the twit respond in a timely manner. He watched her depart with an obnoxious wave of her fingers and a promise to meet up again later – but not in the direction of the party, as she should have. She was heading the same way the old man and Orion slave had gone.

-------------------------------

Quatre walked down the beach, closely followed by Trowa, hoping to find a part of one of the many public spaces not already taken up by some drunken, fondling couple. It was proving to be most difficult as Relena's birthday party seemed to have been attended by everyone on Risa, and a few that had arrived just for the occasion. A while ago, they'd passed an older gentleman whom a pretty blonde Orion slave was creeping away from, but it didn't strike either of them as that important.

The Betazoid stopped as he sensed the party's hostess nearby. Sneaking as he had learned from Duo, he moved over to a copse of exotic flowers and spotted the Ventaxian in the arms of the Orion girl he'd seen earlier.

"Isn't that our hostess?" Trowa asked quietly as he joined the smaller man. "It would seem that her species isn't immune to Orion pheromones."

"...Is her species immune to empathy?" Quatre asked with a confused look that caused Trowa to quirk an eyebrow.

"I was under the impression that you'd managed to sense her before."

"I have, but... There's something off going on down there..."

"Off?"

"...I'll explain on the ship," the blond said, pulling the Vulcan in the direction of the Gundam.