Cost of a Secret

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. I'm so, so sorry I didn't post this earlier. There is another chapter ready to go, and you will all have it within a day or so. Promise.

Chapter 12

Bad Boyfriend

Roy managed by some small miracle to get home at a reasonable hour, in time to see Al playing a game of checkers with Liam. Roy couldn’t express how grateful he was that the young man had been willing to help out.

“Daddy!” Liam said, hopping down from his chair and running to the hall where Roy was waiting for him with arms open. Moments like this, when Liam looked so young and so… happy, Roy regretted their time apart almost as much as when he saw the pain or sadness on his son’s face. Taking his son into his arms, Roy gave him a big hug, maybe one a bit tight for a seven-year-old’s body, but not enough to hurt him. Like a punch to his stomach, the knowledge once again hit him that he could have had this every day, or at least on off-times with Karen.

He could feel his son’s arms trying to return the hug as tightly as Roy had given it. “Did you have a fun time with Al?” Roy asked.

“Yeah,” Liam said. “We played games and played with Ed.”

“That’s great,” Roy said, noticing that Al had left the room as well. The look he got from the youngest Elric was glacial, and while Roy might admit he deserved it, he was surprised to find it coming from Al. “Thank you for watching over him for me.” Roy got a nod from Al in return, but the young man still looked like he was barely containing his anger.

“I was glad my brother decided to be the bigger man and offer my services,” Al said. “Liam is a great kid.” He patted the boy on his back and moved into his line of sight. “Maybe while I’m in Central, I’ll be seeing you around?”

“I hope so,” Liam said with a grin. “I really did have a lot of fun today. Elysia’s nice, but she always tries to get me to play dress ups, and all she’s got are dresses.”

Al chuckled. “My girlfriend Winry tried that with my brother and me when we were kids. I managed to get out of it, but Winry’s grandmother still has a picture of my brother in a pink tutu.”

Roy couldn’t help it, but he snickered, and before he even thought about it, he said, “I would pay good money to see that.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Al said. He headed for the door. “Liam, I had a really nice time today. Hopefully I’ll get to see you a bit more while I’m here in town.”

“How long are you in town for?” Roy asked, standing from his crouched position and looking fully at Al.

“As long as I’m needed,” Al said, turning the knob of the door. “Bye, Liam.” He managed a genuine smile for the boy. Like his brother, Al seemed able to separate his feelings toward Roy and his son.

“Bye, Al!” Liam said with a wave.

Al headed out the door and the boy went into the livingroom. Though Roy was tempted to follow him to tell him the idea he had for the evening—courtesy of Gracia—he quickly went to the door and stepped out onto the porch.

“Al,” he called to the young man who was just at the gate to Roy’s front yard. The young man turned and looked at him with a weary expression. He made a faint noise to acknowledge Roy, waiting for the question. “How is he?”

With just a moment’s hesitation, Al finally came up with an answer. “How do you think?”

Roy gave a single nod and kept his head down as he went back into the house. Liam was already holding up a picture he’d drawn, this one of the Elrics and his cat. Well, Roy assumed that it was of the Elrics. The one was wearing a white button-up shirt with a blue t-shirt beneath and short tan hair just as Al had been dressed that day. The other was wearing a military uniform and had long blond hair.

“I bet they’ll love that,” Roy told him with a grin. “But right now, I’ve got plans for the day. Did you know the movie theater is getting ready to do a special kids’ showing with shorts and cartoons in an hour?”

Liam, of course, shook his head and said that he hadn’t.

“Well, they are,” Roy said. “And I thought we could go and then get something to eat at the diner.”

Gracia and Elysia would be at the movies as well, but Roy wasn’t going to make the suggestion that they go out to eat with them as well. While he knew his son enjoyed time with the two, Roy wasn’t going to enforce it on him. They could run into one another at the movies, and whether they sat with the Hughes women or went out with them after would be up to Liam.

“We can go? Now?” Liam asked.

Roy grinned. “Let me get out of uniform, and yes, we can go.” He headed toward the stairs and quickly felt a set of hands pushing him at his lower back and pushing him forward.

“Hurry up, Dad!”

********

Ed walked in the door with a deep breath. He hadn’t smelled that since his mother had died. It was a stew, one that Pinako made, but never quite made the same as her mother. This, however, smelled exactly as the young man remembered. Despite himself and his decidedly sour mood lately, it brought a fond smile to Ed’s face.

He hung his uniform coat up next to the door, far away from Havoc’s—one morning the older man had been called out particularly early and grabbed Ed’s, nearly ripping the smaller coat when he tried to put it on, so now the coats were never near one another.

Ed made his way through the small apartment to get to the kitchen. “That smells great,” he told his brother.

Al looked back at him with a smile, and the utter lack of maliciousness still hurt Ed as much as if his brother had shown that he blamed him still. “I was working on it when you called me to spend time with Liam. I wasn’t sure I’d have it done in time, but you had an awfully late day.”

“That’s what happens when you oversee an entire department and you let your work back up on you for a week,” Ed said. “Havoc home yet?”

Al shook his head. “No. Did he say he was going out? There’s enough here for him too, but it’ll keep if he isn’t coming home.”

Ed shrugged. “Is that mom’s stew?” he asked.

“I think it’s close,” Al said. “Auntie taught me how to make it, then I played with it to make it taste like mom’s. I think it’s pretty close. Go ahead and sit down. It’ll be ready soon.”

“How was your day with Liam?” Ed asked. “And thanks for that.”

“It wasn’t so bad,” Al said with a grin, but it faded quickly. “Though I think you’re right. He seems very sad. Like…” Al paused and even though his back was to Ed right now, the blond could see his brother was searching for the right word and failing.

“Like a kicked puppy,” Ed offered.

Al looked back at him and winced before agreeing.

“Then he’s lucky that Mustang saved him from that.” Al nodded once and began dishing out the stew.

There was the sound of the door opening and closing with quite a bit of huffing and puffing following it.

“You know,” Ed called from the kitchen, “you wouldn’t sound so winded if you didn’t smoke so much.”

There was a long pause before footsteps could be heard making their way out to the kitchen and Havoc appeared, looking a little worse for the wear. He immediately headed to the ice box and got himself a beer.

“I wouldn’t sound so winded if your boyfriend hadn’t decided I was an errand boy,” Havoc said, then met Ed’s eyes, obviously noticing the face the young man made at the mention of a boyfriend. “Sorry, if Mustang hadn’t decided it.”

“What happened?” Ed asked as the lieutenant sat down beside him, looking grateful for the bowl of soup that Al pushed in front of him while going up to get another one for himself. Ed couldn’t help but glance up at his brother, at the kindness Al showed so easily. That kindness, when directed to others, reminded Ed why he’d kept his brother from the military; when it was directed at him, he felt horrible remorse for how he did it.

“He was pissy all day,” Havoc said. Ed couldn’t help the snicker at hearing the major general described as “pissy.”

“All day?” he asked, realizing the implications of it after the brief amusement faded.

“Well, not quite all day,” Havoc said, looking down at the stew.

“More like after I left?” Ed clarified. “So he was in a foul mood because of me?”

“Well… sort of,” Havoc said. “It was about you, but because of me, I think. Mustang was mostly directing it all at me anyway.”

“What did you do?” Al asked, sounding incredibly parental as he sat down with his bowl and looking pointedly at the older man.

“I think he was misinterpreting something, and even though I suspected he was, I didn’t correct him. I think he saw… no, I know he saw the two of us walking in together, and I’m guessing also when we walked down the hall together, you know, with my arm around you.”

“Yeah?” Ed asked, waiting for more elaboration, but before it could come, his own mind put the pieces together. “Oh. You’re serious!” He felt anger boiling up inside of him. “He thought that you and I were… That asshole!”

“Pretty close to what I thought,” Havoc said. “I mean, first of all, he should know me well enough to know I don’t swing that way at all. Second of all, he should have had more faith in you than to think you’d find someone so quickly.”

“Son of a bitch,” Ed said, preparing to slam his fists onto the table, only to have it stopped by the calm hand of his brother and the frantic grab of the second lieutenant.

“So, when he told me to take care of you, I answered truthfully, but didn’t correct what I knew he was thinking. I told him I would.” Havoc kept hold of Ed’s arm. “I would for any of my friends.”

Ed scowled, but it was directed at the man who wasn’t in the room, the one he wanted to throttle.

“I can correct him, but… I thought I’d leave that up to you,” Havoc said sheepishly.

Ed spent a few moments trying to formulate an answer through his anger and frustration. “I tell you what,” he said. “Don’t. If you don’t mind that he thinks we’re… you know, I don’t care. I really don’t. Just don't lie to him if it comes down to it. I'd rather his own mind take care of filling in the blanks. It already has. Bastard.”

“Hell, it irritates me he hasn’t picked up that men don't do anything for me. At all.” Havoc took a bite of the stew. “Oh well, maybe instead of playing hard to get, I’ll stand a chance with the ladies if I play already gotten.” He grinned.

“Shame on you, Havoc,” Al said with a somewhat forced levity to his voice. “A few hours into your false relationship with brother and you’re already planning to leave him for a woman.”

Hearing his brother trying so hard to lighten the mood, Ed did his best to play along. He had a meal Al had worked hard to make for him, and Havoc was putting up with shit for him. It was the least Ed could do to hold his anger off for a bit.

“You’re a very bad boyfriend, Havoc,” Ed said, taking a bite of the stew and then making a moan that sounded unintentionally erotic.

“Promise me you’ll never say that and follow it with that noise,” Havoc said.

“Me too,” Al said. “That was downright perverse, Brother.”

“I’m sorry. The stew’s good,” Ed said, taking another bite and being transported back to Risembool for a few moments, sitting at his mother’s table, far too young for problems with boyfriends and their sons, no automail, and no overriding guilt when he looked at Al.

“I take it that I got it right?” Al asked, to which Ed emphatically nodded.

********

“That was very nice of you to invite Elysia and me to come to the diner with you and Liam,” Gracia said as they watched the children playing together at the park.

“It was Liam’s idea,” Roy said. “But it was the least we could do with how good you’ve both been.”

“Liam’s a pleasure to have around,” Gracia said. “Though Elysia is a bit jealous that he’s a year younger than her and was placed in her grade, even though she sticks up for him most of the time.” She smiled as Elysia was busy showing Liam how to hang upside down from the monkey bars.

“Maes would be having a field day with them playing together,” Roy said with a fond smile. “The day he found out Liam was on the way, he began planning their wedding.” He chuckled. “I’m not quite ready to feel that old just yet.”

“I think Maes would most likely be giving you a good thrashing for what has happened between you and Ed,” Gracia said very casually.

“You too?” Roy asked.

“Don’t look at me as though I’ve taken a side that isn’t yours, Roy,” Gracia said. “The age difference between the two of you was worrisome at first, but it turns out the person we all had to worry about acting immaturely was you.” She shook her head. “But you know, the two of you seemed genuinely happy. And to see both of you suffering all because you couldn’t tell Ed the truth, that you had a son, it baffles me, Roy. I thought you’d told him. You have no idea how many times I nearly revealed it to Ed, not knowing he had no clue.”

“I know that I should have told him,” Roy said. “Back when we were friends, but it became too hard after we started dating. Ed doesn’t take well to having information kept from him.”

“And you are the master of doing it,” Gracia said, which made Roy look a bit like a fish. “Maes told me about the challenge between Flame and Fullmetal, which has become legendary without his help spreading the word. All because you didn’t want to tell Ed about Dr. Marcoh from the Ishballan War?”

“I made a promise to Marcoh,” Roy defended.

“It isn’t just Marcoh, Roy,” Gracia said. “You’re a master secret-keeper. I’ve known you more than ten years, and you have been that way that long.”

It was growing dark, meaning it was time to head home. Gracia obviously noticed as well, as she stood and straightened her skirt. “If you ever want to have a successful relationship with anyone, Roy, you’re going to need to be honest with them. No secrets, no masks, none of that. Whether it’s with Ed or with someone else.”

Roy bristled at that and called for Liam to come over, that it was time to walk Gracia and Elysia home.

“I have to focus on Liam now. The rest can go to the backburner.”

Gracia gave him a smile that could have easily said that he was the only one fooled when he said that.

And even Roy wasn’t buying it.

********

Ed was very bad at showing gratitude, but he knew he’d have to do something for Al and Havoc. He couldn’t begin to explain how much he appreciated the calming influence the two had, even to the point of helping him laugh when he’d been ready to slaughter Roy. They hadn’t really remedied that, but at least stalled him from acting on it for a bit.

Initially, Ed had dealt with things with calm and some sadness. He had seen the surprise on Roy’s face at the fact that Ed wasn’t ranting and raving over the way he’d been wronged or trying to cut parts of Roy’s anatomy off. To be honest, that had surprised Ed as well.

He was not so calm now. Now, he just wanted to hurt Roy. He couldn’t believe the bastard had so little faith in Ed to think he would replace him so soon, maybe even assume Ed had replaced him before leaving the house. Walking to the nearest training center for military personnel, Ed walked by the park, noticing four figures walking toward him. Two of them were waving to get his attention, one watched, the other looked like he wanted to duck and cover.

Knowing that he didn’t want to lose his temper in front of Gracia and Elysia and suspecting that he really shouldn’t in front of the boy, Ed pretended he didn’t see them and trudged onward.

Entering the training center, Ed was greeted by the man at the front desk, Lt. Davisson.

“Hi, Lieutenant Colonel,” Davisson said with a faint salute. Ed gave a dismissive wave with his hand. Davisson knew well enough how much he hated being treated like an official. Particularly when he was working out. “If you need me to, I can spot you on the heavy bag.”

Ed gave a quick nod as he slid off his trench. Beneath it, he wore his black tank and black pants.

Davisson smiled. He was grateful for Davisson, as it was clear the red-headed man knew exactly what Ed was going though but wasn’t asking questions about how he was doing. The lieutenant walked over to the heavy bag and braced it. “Careful not to send me flying back into the wall,” he said with a grin.

“I’ll try,” Ed said. One of the regulars laughed because the last time Ed had gotten angry, he’d knocked the person who’d been spotting him on the bag into the wall so hard he’d bruised a few ribs.

And then, Ed was allowed to lose himself, to focus on the pain and the way his body hit the bag. His state alchemist watch was tightly secured into his pocket.

Roy didn’t tell him about Liam. Double knuckle punch. Roy never said “I love you” though Ed professed it on more than one occasion. Left hook. Al was here being so damned nice when Ed still wasn’t telling him the truth himself. Front snap kick. Roy thought that he would move on again right after they broke up. Palm heel strike. Roy never fucking told him he had a son! Crescent kick.

Ed took a break, knowing that if he wasn’t careful, he was going to hurt Davisson.

“Giving me a training too, Elric,” Davisson said with a good-natured smile.

With a nod and a “thank you,” Ed headed over to the water fountain and took a drink. Davisson didn’t move from his spot there, as though waiting for him to come back to the punching bag, which Ed more than likely would. He hadn’t gotten his frustration out of his system.

“Move it shrimp.”

Ed could feel a funny little tick at his eye. He’d gotten over his height issues mostly. Part of it was finally hitting 5’4” before he stopped growing, part of it was maturity. But, it didn’t mean he liked being reminded of it, or that he wouldn’t kick someone’s ass that didn’t have Ed’s permission—or as close as he gave it when it came to short jokes—to make fun of it.

Ed took another drink of water, ignoring the man behind him. He was thirsty. Just those few minutes at the bag had him sweating, and it wasn’t worth acknowledging this man.

Of course, that wasn’t satisfactory for the oaf behind him, who grabbed hold of Ed’s arm. “I said to move.”

Ed turned to find a man a bit shorter than Lieutenant Colonel Armstrong. From the looks of him and the watch this man wore at his hip, he was probably part of Armstrong’s detachment. Where Ed was in charge of research, Armstrong oversaw the engineers, both alchemists and regular military.

And they had just gotten back from a town near Creta that had suffered an earthquake. Ed vaguely remembered this man from last year’s exam. It seemed somewhat natural that he wouldn’t know Ed, but the young man was sure to make sure he did after today.

“Major, I don’t think you want to start something with the—” Davisson started.

“What?” the man asked. “We’re both alchemists. Though, this little pipsqueak looks like he’s in research to me.”

“Major…” Davisson tried again. “This is a very bad idea.”

“It’s fine,” Ed said with a smirk. He’d been needing a way to let loose his aggressions. “Just notify the lieutenant colonel so he can have someone collect the body.”

“You’re a confidant little guy, aren’t you?” the man asked.

“Yup,” Ed said. “I’m going to ask you again, are you sure you want to fight me just over me not moving at a fountain?”

The man walked over to the sparring area of the center as his answer. He climbed between the ropes that partitioned it off from the rest of the center.

Davisson walked over to Ed as a warning. “He’s been here since the lieutenant colonel’s unit came in. He picks the fights based on people he thinks he can beat.”

“Lucky for me my sparing partners have been twice his size.”

He smiled and looked again at the large man.

“Do you even know who I am?”

“Some alchemist without the physical strength to rebuild cities like I do,” the major said.

Ed laughed at that and easily swung his body over the ropes. “Davisson here has tried to tell you repeated times who I am and I have tried as well, no more warnings.”

The man looked Ed up and down before laughing. “Warnings?” he asked.

“Well, I’ll even take it easy on you. Don’t want you calling foul because I hit you with automail.” Ed took a starting stance and waited for the big lug to come at him first.

There was no finesse in the larger man’s moves. It was like facing down a charging rhino, not that Ed had ever done that before. Luckily, a rhino had more intelligence than this man seemed to. Really, it was a wonder he was an alchemist at all, particularly one capable of passing the state exam.

Ed dodged him easily before beginning to fight in earnest. He was careful to keep his right arm out of it, not to mention his left leg.

“You do realize this is my regular gym, don’t you? You’re just visiting here,” Ed said, taking a moment to indicate the growing crowd. “They’re an audience for me, not for you.”

“They probably just want to watch you get your ass kicked. Working in a lab while the rest of us are in the real world,” the major managed before Ed punched him in the gut.

“Try an office, asshole,” Ed said, trying to let this idiot know he was messing with a superior officer. It wasn’t sinking in.

“Desk jockey. Even better.”

The man took a swing, and Ed blocked it with his right arm before hitting him with the left again. “What do they call you? What big, official name did you get?”

“The Granite Alchemist,” the man said, trying again.

“I remember you,” Ed said, flipping back and away from the older man, as he recalled the monolith that had risen from the testing area. Really, he knew this was the man all along. “You’re the one who made the giant phallic symbol in the testing arena.” The man gave him a momentary blank look. “A giant penis, jackass.”

Ed knew this was going to go on too long, and he didn’t want the idiot to actually get hurt. Despite how much he wanted to hurt him, Ed knew that it would look bad on him as a lieutenant colonel. He slid behind him and leapt up to latch onto the man’s neck with his automail arm.

“Take a guess what they call me,” Ed said.

“You said you’d lay off on the automail,” the man said.

“Those were my rules, not yours. I can break my own rules. Been doing it for years to my superior officers' anyway.” Ed chuckled. “Any idea what they might call me, idiot?”

The man tried to slam Ed back against the ropes, but the young man let go and got himself out of harms way. “I don’t care what they call you.”

“Might want to start,” Ed said. “Because they’re all cheering it.”

And like that, the large man stopped and listened to the cheers of “Fullmetal! Fullmetal!” That, without focus, sounded like drowning cheers.

The major visibly paled and looked down at Ed. “Still interested in finishing this fight? Because, regardless of how it turns out, I’m still reporting you to Lieutenant Colonel Armstrong. He needs to know that he’s got a loose cannon as part of his outfit.”

“Lieutenant Colonel,” the man managed, but he looked as though he still doubted it. Ed rolled his eyes and clapped his hands, making his automail transform, then returned it to its usual form. “I’m done.”

“I might be in charge of research now,” Ed said. “But I’m always going out into the field. And let me give you a word of advice: Don’t pick on someone wearing automail. They’ve gone through more pain, and shown more strength than you could probably muster in all your miserable life, Major.”

Ed easily climbed out of the ring and went to get his coat from the hanger at the front. “Well, it’s been fun.”

Davisson gave Ed a small smile as he left, and Ed felt through that fight and putting that man in his place, he’d regained a little of the dignity and control he’d felt he’d lost since he split from Roy.

It was a good feeling, even if the ache remained.