Cages

So, as I am every year, I will be at Tekkoshocon 6 this year, so if anyone else is going to be there, drop me an email. I hear there’s even going to be a yaoi panel.
_______________________________________________________________________
Zechs 164
I awoke to the feel of someone touching my neck and a splitting headache.
“It’s about time you woke up,” I heard a feminine voice say, and I squinted to see who was looming over me.
“Sally? What are you doing here?”
“Oh, you know, I just thought I’d stop by. I have a tendency to do that when people drop to the floor right in the middle of their kitchen.”
“Wha-…?” I wondered, then wracked my brain and realized that the last thing I could remember was standing in the kitchen and wondering where all the fog had come from. “Damn,” I cursed, bringing my head up to rub at my eyes, glancing around the room to find that we were alone and the door was firmly closed. “I must have scared the hell out of the boys. Are they alright?”
“Other than being worried out of their minds about you,” she said, then plopped down beside me on the bed. “So, let’s get down to what’s wrong with you. I’ve already done all the necessary blood-work, and here’s my diagnosis: you’re clinically stupid.”
“I don’t have time for your games, Sally,” I grumbled, glaring weakly up at her.
“Oh, this is no game. Only a complete idiot would attempt to put that many drugs into his system and expect to live.”
“I’m a doctor…”
“Yes, and it is probably for that reason alone that you are still alive. You know the maximum dosage the body can take of a drug and what kinds of drugs can be taken together; however, you seem to forget that those kinds of extremes are only to be taken in emergencies and never for long periods of time. As a doctor you should know better, and you can thank your lucky stars that you’re still alive after putting your body through that much stress.”
“You’re over-reacting…”
“Am I, now?” Sally said, tilting her head to the side and giving me a cool glare that meant she was really pissed. “I had Wufei show me the contents of your medicine cabinet, Zechs, so that I wouldn’t have to wait to find out what you’ve been pumping yourself full of. A pill to keep you awake. A pill to get rid of the headache. A pill to keep you focused. A pill to get rid of the headache from that pill. And a nice little pill to keep up this whole… performance for your slaves, am I correct?” she hissed, and I blushed realizing what pills she was talking about.
“The boys need to feel that I desire them. They wouldn’t understand if I said I was just too tired; they’d think it was their fault. I didn’t want my problems to make them think…”
“You didn’t want them to get suspicious about how well you were. Don’t give me bullshit about anything else, Zechs. From what I can see you’ve been doing a pretty damn good job of keeping this a secret, too. How long has this been going on for? Since you arrived here? Since Duo’s asthma? Since Quatre’s problems? Wufei says you’ve been sick for two days now, but it takes a hell of a lot longer than two days to get as run down as you are. Now, you are going to tell me how long you’ve been taking this stuff,” she demanded, rising so that she could tower over me.
“It…. I didn’t start off like this all at once. I’ve been getting headaches for a while, but it’s only gotten bad since I started putting together the report and plan to give to Une next week. That was two…. Maybe two and a half weeks ago.”
“I see,” Sally said. She seemed to be calculating something in her head, and turned and met my eyes when she had come to a decision. “I’m confiscating all your drugs. Anything higher than aspirin will be locked securely away in my medical cabinet.”
“I’m not a drug addict.”
“You don’t have to be physically addicted to drugs to be addicted. You won’t be able to function like you were without the pills, and I doubt you’ll allow yourself to do any less. So the only drugs that will be within your reach are these.”
“These are stress reducers,” I complained as I took the bottle of pills from her and glanced at the label.
“They’re probably the only pills you actually need, and ironically are the only kind you weren’t taking. Now, along with that I’m prescribing total rest for at least five days. That means no labor, no sex, and no working on your proposal. Une will give you time once you get to the headquarters and you can get a team to help you.”
“This is ridiculous…”
“This is anything but ridiculous, Zechs. I don’t think you understand just how close you’ve pushed yourself to death. If the boys hadn’t been so close at hand you could have easily suffocated. And what about next time? What if you go into a seizure?”
“There won’t be a next time.”
“You’re damn right there won’t be. If you refuse to obey my orders I will recommend to Une that you are taken off this case,” she said, but she was pushing it too far by threatening me. I called her bluff.
“Une won’t take me off the mission. I’m too far in. If I fail, we may never get another chance. There isn’t anyone else well known enough to get into this ring, and they’ll get suspicious if I disappear. If they find out I was an infiltrator they’ll cover their tracks and we may never find them again. Une won’t pull me off the case no matter what you say.”
“She’ll rework the parameters, then, to do the sting next year instead of this one.”
“It’s too risky. I can’t keep up this charade forever. The longer I’m here… I can’t take much more of this. It has to happen now. I’m sorry, Sally, but there’s nothing you can do,” I told her. She frowned, her lips becoming a thin line as she contemplated what I’d said to her. Sally didn’t like being told no, especially when it came to the health of her patients, but there was nothing to be done about it. She couldn’t stop me from protecting my boys.
A second later, Sally moved deliberately to the door, giving up far sooner than I had expected. When she opened it, however, she called for the boys to come in, and then moved back to the head of the bed. I had a bad feeling about this.
“Sally,” I growled warningly, wondering what she was up to. The boys all filed in quickly, but Sally stopped their questions with a gesture.
“I just want all of you to know,” she said calmly, “that Zechs has been working himself far too hard and pushing his body to the brink of its endurance. He’s been taking pills that have allowed him to work harder than his body would allow, and this is the reason for his fainting spell earlier. I have prescribed a set of pills to help him relax, and he is under orders to rest for at least five days. This means no labor, no sex, and no working in his office. Zechs, however, seems to have no intention of following my orders. So, I just wanted you all to know that if he keeps this pace up for much longer, it will kill him.”
Oh shit.
3
2
1
“Master, no! You can’t die! You just can’t! Can’t! Can’t! Can’t!”
“You fucking asshole! You can’t just bring us all together and then fucking off yourself, you bastard!”
I was actually kind of surprised at Duo’s reaction. I had expected Quatre’s theatrics, but I wasn’t prepared for Duo’s angry tirade that was coming more from fear than any actual anger. The other three just stared at me with a feverish, calculating light that frightened me even more than the amazingly creative threats that Duo had begun to spout.
“Alright, alright, you win,” I said, reaching out to calm Quatre. “But only for three days.”
“You’ll take the full five and like it,” Sally said, leaning against the wall near my head. Then she smirked and whispered, “Nothing I can do, huh? Don’t ever underestimate me.”
“Master, are you going to be okay?” Quatre asked, still sobbing even as I patted his back and tried to calm him down.
“He’ll be fine if he does what I say,” Sally said. “Why don’t you all come with me and I’ll give you some more detailed instructions on what to do about him?” Sally asked, then led the boys from the room.
Wufei stayed behind, coming to sit beside me once all the others had left.
“Don’t you want to find out how to properly care for me?” I asked sarcastically. He chuckled.
“I think the others can manage it. From what I saw out of Quatre you’ll be lucky if you’re allowed to wipe your own ass in the next week,” he said, smirking at me. I groaned.
“I still can’t believe she tattled on me.”
“You have to admit, it got results. What did you say to her anyway? Sally isn’t usually that pushy.”
“I told her there was nothing she could do to stop me from working. I didn’t thing there was anything she could do.”
“Honestly, Zechs, I think that just might be the most ingenious, devious woman I’ve ever met. We must have her around more often,” he said. I groaned again, and he laughed, but then grew quiet and solemn. “You really scared me, you know? We all rely on you so much… I something happen to you, it will mean horrible things for all of us. You know that, right? So, I understand your dedication to… whatever you’re doing, but we need you to stay healthy. No matter what, we need you to stay alive for us. We… I need you, Zechs. Please, remember that when you’re pushing yourself toward an untimely death.”
I was stunned, and just managed to find enough intelligence to nod stupidly. Wufei saw it and gave me a small, tired smile, then got up, bowed, and left.
I suddenly felt very tired again.
Tired… and warm.

Heero 165
Master quickly learned to regret not taking care of his health. He hated being inactive, but he hated seeing Quatre cry even more. And, on the off chance that he did manage to get away from Quatre’s smothering care, Duo would throw a royal tantrum, Trowa would stare it him imploringly, or Wufei would give him a hurt and indignant glare, any of which would cause him to throw his hands into the air in angry defeat and return to his chair in the den. For my part, I was less experienced in emotional warfare, so I would simply follow a step behind Master, bodily blocking him from entering his office or leaving the house, until he became annoyed enough to sulk back to his chair.
Zechs had fainted on Monday and, despite repeated declarations that he was fine, spent most of the day and all night in a dead sleep. Quatre was more worried than ever, but I think that knowing what was really wrong with Master helped keep him calm. Where before it had been some kind of mysterious ailment, we all now knew that there was something wrong with Master and it wasn’t life threatening. We didn’t feel quite so helpless now that we were able to actively keep Master from running himself into the ground, instead of watching as he withered away.
Master spent Tuesday fairly docilely. He rolled his eyes when he realized we were taking turns watching over him, but he didn’t protest. I’m not sure if it made him feel better or worse that we were pretty much fighting over whose turn it was to stay with Master, and that we all spent most of our time in the den with him, only leaving when there was no other possible alternative.
One of us was always touching him, I noticed by Tuesday afternoon. It wasn’t surprising, since the idea that Master could die had deeply frightened us all, and touch was one of the best ways to dispel that fear and reassure ourselves that he was alive. However, I don’t think any of us realized just how strongly affected we were, because for a full day as soon as one slave moved away from Zechs, another instantly rose to take his place. Zechs tolerated the constant touches, and I could see a look of guilt come over his face whenever Quatre clung a little too tightly, or Trowa stroked his hair a little too softly, or Duo stared a little too intently at the wall, badly feigning indifference while he allowed his side to touch against Master’s. Wufei refused to show any signs that he was upset, stoically remaining neutral, but the fact that he always stepped up to take his turn sitting beside Zechs like the rest of us said more than any expression could. I, like Wufei, had trouble expressing the worry I felt, but somehow I was certain that Master understood.
Still, it was a strange day. The house was unusually quiet and still. The usual hum of activity was missing, and so was the laughter and music. The house itself seemed to be in shock, stunned to find that its owner was so human and fallible. The television was a quiet hum in the background, loud enough to be heard in the still house but quiet enough to let Master sleep if he happened to doze off. Quatre had been cooking incessantly since Master fainted, and it seemed that his cure-all for anyone he cared about was quickly becoming the need to stuff them full of the heartiest foods he could come up with. If I wasn’t mistaken, I would swear that he had a turkey cooking in the over, along with the other soups and stews and pastries he’d been creating to entice Master to eat. Master, again, bore Quatre’s over-zealous nurturing as a kind of penance for worrying us all so much, eating as much as he could and slipping the rest to Wufei to hide. None of us had the heart to tell Quatre that eating such copious amounts of food would probably be just as bad for Master’s health as not eating at all, especially since cooking seemed to have such a calming effect on the anxious slave. The result was that Quatre continued to cook while Wufei filled the basement freezer with uneaten meals.
Despite this ceaseless and somewhat frantic cooking, Quatre never missed a chance to sit with Master, even when it wasn’t his turn to watch over Master. He would put something in the oven or on the stove to simmer on low and then come in to sit with us for half an hour, an hour, or whatever amount of time he could manage. Our turns were loosely based on the movies we watched; we all took turns picking the movies, and whoever chose the movie also got to sit beside Master, or on his lap if he was awake.
It was currently Trowa’s turn, and a romantic comedy was playing softly in the background. Master had been awake when the movie changed, since Wufei’s action movie had been enough to interest him, and I had an inclination that Trowa probably chose this movie partially because he knew it would (as it did) bore Master to sleep. Still, since Master was awake when the movie started, he pulled Trowa onto his lap as he reclined against the arm of the couch, his head eventually falling onto Trowa’s shoulder as he dozed off.
I watched only slightly enviously as Trowa closed his eyes and listened to Master’s steady breathing and the beating of his heart. Knowing that it would be my turn to do the same in only a few hours kept jealousy at bay, although I could feel it nipping at my heels when I watched Master’s hand stroke Trowa’s hair as he slept, murmuring something incoherent into his ear. Trowa smiled softly, then glanced up as Quatre entered from the kitchen, still wearing an apron with oven mitts in the pocket. They exchanged affectionate looks as Quatre perched on the arm of the couch, gently stroking his fingers along the side of Master’s face. Trowa nodded toward the awkward position of Master’s head and looked pointedly at the pillows at the other end of the couch, and Quatre quickly fetched the pillows and helped settle Master’s head so the strain was removed from his neck.
Their interaction was so smooth and unassuming that I glanced at Duo, sitting beside me on the floor by the couch Master was on, and wondered if he and I would ever be like that. True, we had gotten better with interacting and better still at reading each other’s signs, but there was still something young and uncertain about our budding relationship. There was something… timid and anxious about the way Duo acted with me, and I’m sure the same was true about me. Still, there was a fierceness beneath that in both of us, a desire to form an unbreakable bond with another person, and a true belief that we might finally be able to do it.
Besides, I thought as I touched Duo’s hand and he gave me a smirk before toppling dramatically into my lap, there was something playful and primal in my relationship with Duo that I didn’t think the other two had. They had stability in their relationship, but it seemed that both Duo and myself craved creativity and ingenuity more than stability and the same thing. But, who was to say which was better?
By that evening, constant rest, vitamins, fluids, and a large dose of adoration had caused Master to lose the pale, waxen look of his skin. The bags under his eyes had begun to fade and some of his strength was returning. It became easier for him to stay awake, and he was focusing better. Wufei, who had been taking more and more responsibility overseeing the house while Master became sick, decided that Zechs was probably strong enough for a trip up the stairs, and that sleeping in his own bed would be worth more than climbing the stairs would cost him. It hadn’t been an issue the night before, since Sally had wanted him to stay in the medical room where she could watch him, but Sally had left early in the morning with instructions to make sure Zechs slept often and well.
Wufei attempted to minimize the issue of getting Master up the stairs, but we were all worried enough that, one way or another, it was going to be an ordeal. Wufei’s plan was going to be to simply have Trowa and me walk behind Master in case he would fall, while Wufei led him up the stairs to keep him from stumbling. What he didn’t count on was the nervous Quatre hovering at the top of the stairs shouting advice, or the upset Duo pacing at the bottom of the stairs muttering obscenities and looking like he could just barely control the urge to push us all aside, toss Master over his shoulder, and carry him to the room himself. I saw Master grit his teeth and roll his eyes, but I knew he was too kind to snap at Quatre or Duo- Quatre, because all of the mothering was coming from genuine concern for his loved ones, and Duo because it was the first time he’d shown any inkling of an emotion other than abhorrence for Master. In some ways, it seemed like Master’s sickness was actually a good thing.
We got to the top of the stairs without incident, as Master had barely even stumbled. He walked slowly, still weak from his illness, but more surefooted than he’d been before. Once the stairs were out of the way, he walked to the doorway of his room and turned to us.
“Alright, now, you’ve all safely tucked me in. I assure you, I’m perfectly capable of putting my pajamas on by myself, and since al of you are already dressed for the night, so I want you all to go to bed.”
I thought it was a pretty reasonable request. After all, we’d been smothering Zechs all day, and I knew he was getting tired of being treated like an invalid. We had all changed into our pajamas earlier, except Duo who had never bothered to change out of his, so it seemed logical that we would retire for the night.
Quatre, however, stepped forward with a determined look on his face.
“I’m not going,” he said, and in his long-sleeved, button-up blue top and pajama pants, he reminded me of a five-year-old.
“Eh…” Master said, surprised by this sudden stubbornness from the usually sweet Quatre. “Why not?”
“I don’t want to be away from you,” he said, stepping forward and leaning against Master’s chest, then staring up at him with big, pleading eyes. “Can’t I stay here with you? Please? I’m scared,” he said in such a piteous voice that Master could only cast a helpless glance at Wufei, who smiled and nodded.
“Fine, you can sleep in here, but only for tonight,” Master said, giving Quatre a stern look that would have been more effective if he hadn’t been stroking the blonde’s hair. “Now, I’m going to get dressed,” he said, then turned and disappeared into the master bathroom. Wufei followed Zechs into the bedroom, and Trowa followed Wufei, since there was no way he was going to sleep without Quatre. Meanwhile, Duo stepped forward and put a hand on Quatre’s shoulder, and I got to watch the innocent look disappear from Quatre’s face to be replaced with a pleased grin as he cast the victory sign at Duo. Duo laughed as Quatre walked into Master’s room, but all I could do was gape.
“You… you corrupted Quatre!” I accused in shock.
“Who? Me? No way. That brain-child was all his. I just bet him it wouldn’t work. Who knew Zechs was such a sucker for a pair of batting eyelashes. And that Quatre, man is he good. He almost had me going there for a second, and I knew all about his plan.”
“But… what plan?”
“To stay with Zechs. Quatre doesn’t trust him not to sneak down to his office later tonight. It was either this or sleeping in front of the office.”
“But Wufei…”
“…Has to sleep sometime, and you know how sneaky Zechs can be. It’s pretty damn unlikely he’ll be able to get around the five of us, though. And, besides, who can pass up the chance at a sleepover? So come on already!” Duo said, darting into the bedroom. I sighed indulgently and followed.
Despite being fine with the rest of us sleeping in the room, Wufei was no about to give up his spot next to Master, so once Master returned he and Wufei laid down in the middle of the bed. Master was in red, silk sleeping pants and no shirt, while Wufei was in white cotton, Oriental looking pajamas. Quatre was the next to crawl into bed, climbing up beside Wufei and laying down with his back pressed against Wufei’s chest. Wufei seemed to be ready to have a panic attack, looking at Quatre with a startled, frightened expression until Zechs patted his shoulder reassuringly and crossed an arm over Wufei to lay his hand on Quatre’s hip. Trowa, clothed in black pants and a black sweater, crawled in next and curled up facing Quatre, so content that I thought he might purr.
Duo didn’t climb in the bed. Instead, he shoved me into the bed to lie against Master’s back, then dove under the covers and wiggled until he was curled up in the blankets and pressed against my stomach. I huffed in annoyance, but pulled him closer anyway. We were both in shorts and wearing tank-tops, so his bare legs twined with mine, and his hands rubbed along my uncovered arms. I sighed contentedly, feeling Master’s even breathing against my back.
There was such a feeling of… family in the room, it felt like nothing could ever go wrong as long as we were all together. These men were less than my lovers, so far, but more than my brothers. We were all we had in the world, and Master was the cornerstone that kept it all from falling apart. And I knew, right then, that there was nothing I wouldn’t do to protect this. Whatever the cost, whatever the need, I would protect my family.

Duo 166
I was going to have sex with Zechs. I had made up my mind, and now there was nothing that could stop me from screwing my sexy master. I was Shinigami, the legend of Collar, the best sexual slave in the last decade. There were men who would kill to have me at my best, to have me willing and pliant beneath them. I was a god.
So why the hell couldn’t I get Zechs to notice my sexy ass?
I mean, honestly, it wasn’t like being owned by Zechs had made me any less attractive. Heero was still banging me like crazy, and I could make Trowa pause and Quatre squeak if I bent over the right way. Hell, I even made Wufei run out of the room one time by rubbing my chest and licking my lips the right way, although that probably wasn’t anything to brag about since Wufei’s such a prude. And, I mean, I could possibly believe that my illnesses had left me out of shape, but I’d been mistreated so much after my first master died that I was probably looking better now than I had since then. Honestly, I kind of thought I looked better now than I did at the start of my slave career, especially since I’d lost that babyish look and had full matured into an older-teen body. Then again, maybe the whole pedophilia thing was the only thing I had going for me. Oh hell, that couldn’t be it… could it?
The problem was, it wasn’t that Zechs didn’t notice me at all. He noticed me, and would often stare in well-concealed shock for a few moments, then turn and walk away. Like he knew I was being sexy, but he didn’t really care. Was that worse than not knowing at all? I couldn’t decide.
Still, I hadn’t been putting all the Maxwell moves on him. Since Zechs was so damn waked out on Tuesday and Wednesday, I hadn’t started harassing him with the innuendo until Thursday, and Sally didn’t clear him for sex until Friday morning. Still, it bothered me that it was Friday evening and I still hadn’t managed to get him to jump my bones.
I couldn’t tell why, but there seemed to be something important about getting him to screw me before he left on Monday. Not anything foreboding, just some sense that it was important not to wait any longer. I don’t know, maybe I was afraid that I wouldn’t get up the balls to make a move again once it got closer to Collar. Everything was going to start moving faster after the next couple of weeks, make no mistake. We could all feel our vacation winding down, and the upcoming summer visits were only the precursor to the stress-filled nightmare that was the Collar games. Once things started speeding up for the return to Collar, we wouldn’t have time for sex, let alone the energy.
And I did want to have sex with Zechs. I was well aware that he would continue our arrangement if I wanted to, because he was more interested in having me win than having me under him. The thing was, I didn’t really feel like I was being used. It was like a work contract, where I would compete for him only if I received proper food, housing, care, and treatment. Hell, Zechs had even gone above and beyond what I would have demanded for my cooperation in making sure I had an education and giving me an allowance. I couldn’t ask for more from a master, but… hell, he was more like my boss than anything, while he was a real lover to the others. I saw the way they petted him and worried while he was sick, but I also saw the way he held and reassured them. It was like he didn’t just want them to be healthy, but he wanted them to be happy, too. And that’s when it clicked, that he really did care about us.
Yeah, I know, I’ve always been a bit slow on the uptake. Bite me.
Anyway, the whole thing made me sick with envy. I mean, I was just as worried as everyone else, but I was the only one who couldn’t crawl into his lap and lounge while he comforted me. Everyone else got to be petted and reassured, and all I could do was sit close and hold his damn hand.
Not that Zechs would have told me no if I’d tried anything. I’m sure he would have been shocked as hell, but I know he would have taken me into his lap just as easily as anybody else. It was just that I’d spent so much time fighting him and trying to stay away, I wasn’t sure how to get close now. Being in somebody’s lap is, admittedly, a pretty intimate thing, and I just didn’t have any intimacy with Zechs. Hell, we’d barely ever been alone together, let alone touching or hugging much. I just didn’t think it was the kind of thing I could start doing with him so sick and everyone else watching. So I kept my usual distance, trying to seem unconcerned when all I really wanted to do was grab him and shake the sense back into that blonde head, then crawl in his lap and hide there for a couple years.
And now, I was damn well going to get myself a piece of that affection, not to mention a piece of that ass.
My first serious attempt at getting laid was on Friday afternoon. Zechs had been released to light exercise, but was still banned from his office. Still, since Quatre had pretty much pinned him to the couch for the last few days, even being able to get up and move around must have been a huge relief. Zechs took full advantage of his newfound mobility, sometime just walking from room to room to keep from sitting down. Things were starting to return to normal, and the others weren’t on top of him all the time like they had been. I decided to use his pacing habit to my advantage.
The first thing I did was to take a shower in the shared upstairs bathroom. I was a little nervous about the missing lock, but I put a chair in front of the door and felt secure enough to take a quick shower. After that, I got out and combed my hair, then ran a steaming hot bath. Once the temperature in the room was hot and humid enough, I knew my skin would start to glisten with the moisture. Then I wrapped a towel around my waist and listened for Zechs to come up the stairs. I heard him not long after, walking casually up, and I quickly opened the door and stepped into the hall. I let myself walk a little bit, feeling Zechs’ eyes on my back all the while, and waited for him to make a sound. He only gave out a slight gasp, but I took the opportunity and spun around like I’d been startled, “accidentally” flinging my towel somewhere down the hall. I let my momentum carry me off balance and intentionally fell to the floor, landing on my side and raising one knee to hip level in a seductive yet helpless manner. Then I gave him my startled, “Help me, I’ve fallen and I’m too sexy to get up” eyes.
And that fucking bastard had the gall to rush over, put his robe around me, help me up, and ask if I was all right. Not even a blink toward my sexy parts, not even a blink! Maybe he wasn’t gay after all. He didn’t even offer to check me for injuries, just asked if I thought he should call Sally. What a prick.
But I wasn’t finished yet. I decided to try to be more seductive on the next one and less helpless. Maybe that was what screwed me up. Maybe I was just too good at looking like I needed help. We all knew that Zechs was a sucker for the wounded puppy routine, but he was the kind of person who helped the puppy, not the kind who screwed it. It was pretty plain, when I thought about it, why the last routine hadn’t worked out.
For the next one, I decided to try my routine with the ice-cubes. I tossed on a pair of shorts and let my hair down to dry, and then I waited until Zechs was alone in the kitchen. When he was, I sauntered in and opened the refrigerator, paying no mind to him as he sat at the bar and read a newspaper. I got out an ice-cube and put it to my lips, then closed the door and leaned on it.
“It’s kind of hot, don’t you think?” I asked absently, playing with the ice-cube with my tongue and letting some of the water drizzle down my chin.
“Not really,” Zechs said, glancing up from his newspaper.
“I don’t know, I just feel really… hot,” I said, panting a little for the effect. I pulled the ice-cube away from my lips and ran it down my throat and behind my ear, knowing that it was leaving a glistening wet trail wherever it went. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, letting my hands do all the work. I ran the ice across my chest and all the way across my abs, then circled back up to my throat again, giving a small moan of pleasure. I heard Zechs get up and walk toward me, and had to stifle a smile of triumph. He moved until he was just inches in front of me, and I opened my eyes to meet his lusty blue ones… only they were the same concerned blue eyes I’d seen earlier. Then he put his hand on my forehead, which I thought was a good sign until he said, “You don’t feel like you have a fever.” And then he took my damn temperature! And not even with the rectal thermometer! That damn heterosexual! Straight bastard!
I was actually getting pretty worried after that one failed, because those two attempts together had cost me most of Friday. I figured my best bet was to wait until Saturday morning when Heero was swimming, Wufei was training, Quatre was cooking, and Trowa was feeding the horses. That would give me at least an hour and a half where Zechs would be alone.
What I needed to do was give him a sign that he could neither miss, nor misinterpret, nor ignore. What I came up with was pretty damn kinky, and I had to make a run to the basement for some rope, but I was Shinigami, damn it. If there was anything I was good at, it was sex.
Now, before I go into any details about what I did, please remember that I was desperate. Not only could I feel my chance at getting close to Zechs and being solidified as one of the family slipping away, but I was also starting to worry about my ability to be sexy. I mean, I was Shinigami, and I couldn’t even get one master to take a gander at my ass? And Heero was still sleeping with me, but maybe he was just desperate to get laid. Maybe I’d gotten ugly or something.
Anyway, what I’m trying to get at here is that it was now not only about me getting to sleep with Zechs, but also a little about proving that I still had all my talent and stroking my ego a bit, since it had been pretty well deflated by Zechs’ first two refusals (not that it was small now or anything, just that it was a lot smaller than it had been.)
So I waited until the point just before I knew he’d come upstairs for his morning shower, and then I went into his bedroom, stripped, and tied myself spread-eagled to his bed.
And hoped to hell he didn’t misinterpret this one, because then I’d have to really start wondering about his mental capacities.
I managed to get myself tied up without too much difficulty. I had a lot of skill in getting knots untied, but to do that you had to have a good bit of knowledge on how the knot was tied, so I wasn’t too bad at tying myself up either. Zechs’ bed was huge so I had to use a lot of rope, but it had a nice sturdy post at each corner, not like those round monstrosities at Collar, and I had a pretty good idea of how strong the thing was since I, along with the others, had all been sleeping with Zechs until last night, when he told us in no uncertain terms to get the hell back to our own beds. It had been pretty cool, sleeping in the big bed with everyone else, but I was kind of relieved to get my own space back and to have private time with Heero again.
When I tied the knots, I couldn’t help but leave myself a little extra slack in the ropes, in case I needed to make a quick getaway. I trusted Zechs, or I never would have given any thought to sleeping with him, let alone tying myself up to do it. I trusted Zechs, but… some memories will never quite fade away. I’d been tied up too many times against my will to ever really feel comfortable in a situation that made me that vulnerable. I had a bad tendency toward panic attacks, and I knew that being restrained was one of my triggers. So, while I was pretty sure I could control this reaction if I knew someone trustworthy was watching out for me, I didn’t want to wreck everything because the binds on my wrist were too tight and I flashed back to something unpleasant. I wanted to show Zechs that I trusted him, but there were some things I just wasn’t sure I could ever do.
So I waited patiently for Zechs to come upstairs and tried not to fidget too much, because pulling on the bindings would cause them to become tighter and make it harder for me to get out. It seemed like ages before I heard Zechs’ footsteps on the stairs, and an eternity before I saw his shadow falling through the doorway.
He didn’t gasp or yelp or do any of the shocked behaviors I thought he would. He just stood there and… stood there. He didn’t move at all. It felt like forever, and all I could see was his shadow. At first I tried to be patient and wait for him to decide what to do, because I knew I was probably a pretty strange sight, but after a while I just couldn’t take it. I started twisting and pulling against my bonds, trying to see into the hall to find out what Zechs was doing. The whole restraint idea was looking more stupid as I continued to feel more vulnerable.
And then… I heard the footsteps move away.
Well, that was it then, wasn’t it? I’d just get out of these ropes, head back to my room, and work on some of the homework Wufei had assigned a few weeks ago. It wasn’t the end of the world; I’d just go on with my day like nothing had happened. Just… as soon as… I got out… of these… damn.
The ropes were too tight. All the struggling and pulling to see what the Zechs-bastard was doing, and I’d managed to pull them so tight that I couldn’t move my fingers. Without the use of my fingers, there was no way to get myself free. I hadn’t thought about how easy to escape the knots were, because I had assumed that I’d leave myself enough slack to pull right out, so I’d picked the most intricate design I knew. Now, however, with my arms tied and crossed behind my head and my legs up and apart at an angle that gave me no leverage, I was completely stuck. There was nothing I could do but wait for help.
I didn’t cry, okay? The room was just… really dusty. I have allergies.
It just… it sucked really bad. Here I was the whole time thinking Zechs just didn’t get it, and it turns out that I just didn’t get it. Out of all his slaves, he just didn’t want me. I was just a tool to further his career as a master and to make him look good at Collar.
Well, that was fine. Hell, I’d been in a lot worse situations than this. I’d just treat it like a job. I had Heero, and the other guys weren’t so bad, so I could just stay out of Zechs’ way and everything would be fine, right?
The problem was, thinking about spending the rest of my life on the outside of this little circle the others had formed around Zechs made my stomach turn. I didn’t want to be a loner anymore. I wanted to be part of the group.
I wanted… to be part of the family.