To Understand Love

Disclaimer: Dragonball Z and its characters are the property of Toriyama, Akira. I make no profit in writing this story.

Chapter 13

I touch down lightly outside the gate of Capsule Corporation about a minute after leaving my apartment. I can sense my own nervousness swirl in the pit of my stomach, and I start having second thoughts about following through on my plan of action. Steeling my resolve, I walk over to the security gate and tell the guard who I am. After about a minute of waiting, the gate creaks open, and I step through, aware for the first time that it’s been months since I’ve seen the inside of this place, and yet, it hasn’t changed a bit. However, outward appearances can always be deceiving, and I know that if what Gohan had said was true about Trunks, things within are not the same way they were before I last saw him.

Walking through the garden I used to play in all the time as a child, I step onto the front walk that leads to the family dwellings within the massive complex that has become Capsule Corporation. The old Gravity Room is still sitting in the same spot it has been in since as far back as I can remember, although I know it hasn’t been in use for years, Bulma having installed a similar and more high tech facility within her home for Vegeta. Clenching my fists in resolution, I stop in front of the door and slowly raise my hand to ring the doorbell.
I wait a few minutes, and decide to leave when I don’t get a response. However, as soon as I turn on my heel, I can hear a clatter on the other side of the door and somebody swear as they trip over something. A few seconds later, the door creaks open, and a brilliant blue eye stares at me through the crack.

“Go…Goten?”

The door suddenly swings wide open, revealing Bra wearing what appears to be a hastily pulled on t-shirt and shorts, her socks slumping half-way down her skinny legs, and her hair pushed up into a messy bun. It’s apparent that she just woke up, even though it’s well past two in the afternoon. However, her appearance doesn’t seem to bother her in the least as she quickly jumps through the doorway and throws her arms around me, her obviously apparent bosoms squeezing uncomfortably against my chest.

“Goten, it really is you!”

She squeezes her arms around me as though she’s afraid I’ll just up and disappear, before finally letting go. Brushing a stray lock of turquoise hair out of her face, she awkwardly stands in front of me with her knees locked together, and her left hand clutching the top of her right arm.

“Umm…oh, gosh! What am I doing?” she laughs nervously, which makes me feel even more uncomfortable. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Bra, but I never remember her acting so skittish or ditzy before around me.

“It’s just it’s been a while since you’ve been around. We all were kind of wondering what happened to you, if Trunks…” She lets her sentence trail off, a kind of far of light coming to her eyes as she mentions his name.

I smile slightly at her, before asking an obvious question.

“Can I come in, Bra?”

“Oh, yeah, sure! Yeah, come in! I can’t believe I haven’t invited you in yet. I’m kind of an idiot when I just wake up.”

I just stare at her before shaking my head, following her inside the threshold of the home I spent most of my youth growing up inside. She takes me down the main hallway and into a sitting room off to the left. I can tell right away that it hasn’t been used in a while, a thin coat of dust covering the end tables and the pictures littered across the walls. It makes me wonder…wonder about Bra’s nervousness and the fact that it seems like nobody has been to Capsule Corporation in a long time. What has happened to them and what…what has happened to Trunks?

Bra motions for me to sit on one of the sofas before she heads towards the doorway.

“Um, I’m going to change clothes Goten, and then I’ll be back. Do you want something to drink or eat? I can get one of the bots to bring you something.”

She looks so desperate to please me, and that only puts me more on edge. It’s like she’s walking on eggshells, and I’m part of the reason why.

“Honestly, Bra, you don’t have to do that. I just ate some hamburgers with Gohan a little while ago, so I’m okay.”

She just nods her head at that, and then hurries out of the room. I can hear her run up the stairs to her room. Sitting back against the soft cushions of the sofa, I wonder where Bulma and Vegeta are, if I have wasted my trip in coming here unannounced.

Waiting for Bra to return, I glance around the room, noticing all of the family pictures. I immediately pick one out taken when I was about eight years old.

Trunks had invited me to go camping with his family. In retrospect, the trip was a disaster. Bulma had forced Vegeta to come along, and the two of them had spent the entire time arguing about the food, the campsite, the tent, and anything else under the sun they could think of. However, Trunks and I had been oblivious to all of that. Vegeta took us out a couple of times for what he called survival training, which was basically his idea of helping us to hone in our ki detecting abilities by stealthily launching shielded ki blasts at us from secret locations. Bulma had been furious when she found out, after Vegeta hauled in an injured Trunks, who ended up getting a burn on his arm from not reacting quickly enough to one of Vegeta’s blasts. Vegeta only had said it was Trunks’s fault for being too slow, and then stalked off to meditate. Trunks spent the rest of the vacation crowing about his battle scar, and the two of us spent hours roaming the woods, pretending to be Saiyan superheroes on a mission to save the Earth.

The picture had been taken the last day of the trip. Bulma’s smile looks strained, Vegeta has his arms crossed and his usual glower stamped across his features, and then there is Trunks and me. We look…so carefree, as though nothing but the two of us and the fun we had on that trip mattered. Trunks is grinning broadly and holding up his bandaged arm proudly, his other arm hooked firmly around my shoulders. My hair is sticking up in all sorts of crazy directions, and I’m holding up a string of fish that I caught with Vegeta’s help. I can feel a lump forming in my throat. Why did it have to end up being so fucked up between the two of us? What happened to the two grinning idiots in that picture?

I’m suddenly interrupted from my depressed thoughts when I hear a throat clear in the doorway. Jumping up slightly in surprise, I grin sheepishly at Bra as she walks into the room carrying a tray with some sandwiches and what appears to be iced tea.

“Sorry, you looked so serious, Goten. I…um, brought us something to eat. I haven’t had breakfast yet.”
Putting down the tray, she looks slightly abashed as she grabs three sandwiches and pours both of us tall glasses of tea. I can tell she spent a bit of time on her appearance, her hair sleekly put up into a ponytail, a pair of formfitting skinny jeans on her legs, a loose plaid tunic covering her torso, and bangles that clack noisily on her wrists as she pushes the tea towards me.

Taking a sip of the sweet tea, I settle back against the couch and try to think of something to say to her.

“Uh, do you usually sleep this late on Saturdays?” I know it’s kind of a lame question, but it’s the only thing I can think of that rests in neutral territory. I watch as a flush creeps across her milky cheeks. Putting her sandwich down, she wipes the crumbs from her lips off with the back of her hand.

“Not usually. I went to a party at my friend’s home last night. We stayed up late watching some stupid movies and talking about boys. I didn’t get home until about four this morning.”

I raise my eyebrows at that. I was always surprised by how much leeway Bulma and Vegeta had always given their children, especially in comparison to how strict my own mother had been growing up. Still, Bra’s only fifteen or sixteen years old, and considering the habits Trunks developed, I find it a little worrisome that they are even allowing Bra to go to parties at her friends’ homes without having set any sort of curfew. I can tell she detects my line of thinking, because she suddenly wraps her arms around her stomach, as if protecting herself from something painful before giving me a shamefaced look and a stammered explanation, not at all like what I would expect from the usually self-assured and bossy girl I remember from not that long ago.

“It’s not what you think, Goten. Mom and Dad are pretty protective as of late about where I spend my time and who I hang out with. They’re just my friends, and we didn’t drink or do anything stupid. Honestly, if Dad didn’t think it was one hundred percent safe for me to go over, I wouldn’t have been allowed. He’s been a real beast lately.”

I can hear an undercurrent of resentment, a definite sign that the Bra I’m used is still under the surface of the one sitting in front of me.

“It’s okay, Bra. You don’t have to go into the details. I was just curious is all,” I say, trying to reassure her. She nods her head, and then relaxes, picking up another sandwich and devouring it in three bites.

“Are Bulma and Vegeta around?” I ask suddenly, deciding not to beat around the bush any longer. Even though I know Bra is happy to see me, her discomfort is making me nervous, and I can tell she’d rather be doing something else instead of staying with me in one of the family sitting rooms.

“Uh, Dad’s in the Gravity Room, and I don’t think he wants to be disturbed. Mom is…she went out, but she should be back in about fifteen minutes or so. You want to talk to them?”

I nod my head, and she sighs slightly.

“They’re not too much fun to talk to lately. Dad spends a lot more time than usual in the Gravity Room and Mom’s been really busy with Capsule Corporation.”

It isn’t lost on me that she’s completely omitted Trunks from her description, and that bothers me a lot. Again, I wonder, what on earth happened to him that even his own sister avoids mentioning him to me?

“Are you kind of lonely?” I ask.

She flashes me a smile, but I can see brittleness behind it, as if she’s trying hard for my benefit to appear happier than she really is.

“No way! Why would I be lonely? I’m pretty popular at school and have tons of friends. Why should I care if my Dad’s beating himself up in the Gravity Room everyday and if my Mom wants to spend all her time at work and with…”

Her voice trails off abruptly, and I watch as she clenches her fists on top of her lap.

“Oh, gosh Goten, don’t get the wrong idea, okay? We’re all fine here and everything’s okay. When Mom gets here, she can explain things better than I ever can.”

I blink at her in surprise. Get the wrong idea? Just listening to her strange statements and her clues as to the behavior of the rest of her family is enough to give me a headache. She quickly stands up and grabs the tray of unfinished sandwiches, making sure to leave the pitcher of tea and my glass.

“Look, Mom will be here soon. I’ve got some stuff I have to do, so I’m going to leave you, okay?”

Taken aback by her sudden desire to leave me alone, I stare at her as though she’s grown two heads. Pausing at the doorway, she gives me an embarrassed, yet understanding look.

“The thing is, Goten, I’m just muddling this all up. It’s really nice seeing you, though. Mom will be glad to see you.”

With that strange statement, she spins on her high heeled shoe and darts out into the hallway and away from me. Scratching the back of my head, I try to put her strange behavior into context but find it eluding me. Slouching down into the cushions, I debate on whether or not I should stay and wait, or if I should salvage the rest of my afternoon with Shinji and come back to Capsule Corporation after making sure Bulma and Vegeta are available.

In the end, my desire to find out the truth about Trunks wins. Pouring myself another glass of tea, I sit back and wait for what seems an eternity, eventually falling off into a light doze. I’m abruptly brought back to reality when I hear the front door open and close and a purse and keys being thrown haphazardly on top of one of the tables fronting the entryway.

There is the click of high heeled shoes resonating against the tiled floor in the hallway, and then a short breath before Bulma suddenly yells loudly for Bra.

“Bra? Are you awake yet?”

When Bra doesn’t answer, I can hear Bulma mutter something under her breath as she starts down the hallway. She suddenly walks past the doorway of the sitting room, her hair bobbing around her face, her skirt swishing around her thighs. Not wanting to miss her, I clear my throat, letting her know that she isn’t alone in the downstairs area. She suddenly stops and backs up a few steps, peering into the sitting room before putting her hand to her chest and letting out a deep breath of surprise.

“Goten? You scared me half to death! What are you doing sitting there all alone?”

Stepping inside the room, she snaps on a few lights and then notices the half-empty pitcher of tea and my glass.

“Well, I guess my daughter is up and about, seeing as she must have seen to giving you some refreshments. Where did she go? She’s taken to hiding out in strange places and I don’t know what to do about her.”

I bite my lip slightly before responding, surprised the stress and worry etched across Bulma’s usually unflappable exterior. She looks…older than I remember from the last time I saw her at the restaurant. It is eerie how different everything seems.

“Um, she said she had things to do and left me a few minutes ago.”

Bulma laughs in a slightly strained way, before flopping herself down on top of the couch Bra had recently occupied.

“That girl always has things to do. Well, who am I to discourage her? I screwed up enough with my son. As long as she’s staying out of trouble, there’s not much I can do.”

Suddenly, her eyes are latched onto mine, and before I can stop it, she leans over the coffee table dividing us and grabs my chin with her hand, staring deeply at my face before letting go. Unnerved by such an uncharacteristic act by Bulma, I pull away and try to break her stare. It’s like she…knows things about me, which is unnerving and unsettling. I could understand that with Vegeta, but Bulma…the whole situation here is giving me the creeps.

“You’re doing well?” She suddenly laughs nervously at her own questions before answering herself. “Well, of course you are. You look really good, Goten. School must be agreeing with you. How’s your job at The Boys and Girls Club?”

Sighing, I give her an answer. “It’s good. Busy, but good.”

She nods in understanding and then bites at her lip. Deciding I can’t stand waiting any longer, I stop with the polite and nondescript conversation.

“Bulma, I came here to ask you about Trunks.”

She nods her head slowly, and then covers her knees with her hands.

“Did Bra tell you anything?”

I’m surprised and slightly taken aback that she would ask such a question, but I nod my head slowly in the negative. I can tell that my response puts her at ease, which only makes me more aware of how uncomfortable this is becoming.

“Good. You see, I wanted to be the one to explain, if you ever decided to come for some answers about Trunks. I don’t know really what things were like for you with my son before this all happened. I’m not even really sure you knew what kinds of problems Trunks was having.”

She leaves her statement hanging, and I feel compelled to answer, but the truth is embarrassing for me to bring up, yet I know I have to do it.

“Trunks liked to drink and party.”

“Goten, you don’t have to sugar coat what you know about my son. He didn’t just like to drink and party. He liked to get hammered and high, and it happened a lot. I feel like such an idiot, sometimes. Vegeta was always of the opinion that letting Trunks experiment with stupid stuff was the way to teach him lessons about what was good for you and what wasn’t. I never really agreed with that philosophy, but it’s hard to fight with Vegeta over things like that, so I just gave into it. I never really thought that any of that would have lasting consequences, but I guess I was wrong.”

I nod my head stupidly, waiting for her to continue.

“Trunks was good at hiding his addictions for a very long time, but within the last couple of years, for whatever reason, he just gave up doing that. He’d come to work hung over or high, and it was embarrassing to watch. I tried to take it in stride. I told him he’d lose his job if he didn’t start putting his act together, and for a while, he’d stop acting like that. But eventually, he’d fall back into the same habit, and it started to happen much more regularly.”

“I experimented with stuff when I was a kid, and Vegeta didn’t exactly have the easiest past, but I never wanted my children to suffer. And what ends up happening, but Trunks becomes the worst of what Vegeta and I used to be like. Trunks had…has his demons and a lot of resentment that neither Vegeta nor I ever saw coming from him. I still don’t know exactly what drove him to such destructive behavior, but it all came to a head in October.”

I watch as Bulma pulls herself upright, as a way to appear more confident than she really feels in revealing such private and personal information about her son to me. She brushes off her skirt a few times before giving me a wan smile.

“I know you and Trunks had a fight sometime in September. He didn’t come to work for three weeks, and when he did show up at the beginning of October, he was in such a foul mood, he terrified the people who worked for him, and tried to start a fist fight with Gohan. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but it was a catalyst of sorts that spun Trunks out of control. He basically disappeared, for all intents and purposes, and when he didn’t show up for work within the next two days, I had Vegeta search the city for him. He was masking his ki, but it was apparently very erratic. He’d holed himself up in some awful hotel, and if Vegeta hadn’t found him, I think…I know he would have died. It was…terrible, Goten.”

I was shocked. Trunks…almost died, and I hadn’t even noticed?

“What happened…is he okay?”

She looks up and smiles at me, but I can tell that just as with Bra, it’s not really a true smile but one that is meant to reassure me.

“Trunks is…well, he was in the hospital for a while. In truth, he’s lucky there was no permanent damage done to his body. I am sure, had he not been half Saiyan, he would have extensive liver and brain damage. At any rate, I think being stuck in a hospital and going through delirium tremens and drug withdrawal gave him a reality check about exactly the direction his life was headed in.”

I watch as she suddenly picks at some imaginary lint on her shirt, before she frowns and sighs.

Warily, I ask her if he’s still in the hospital. She smiles again, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“No, he’s been out of the hospital for six months. He decided to…he’s in a rehabilitation facility.”

“Really?” I ask, relief warring with sadness in my voice.

“Yes, really. It had nothing to do with Vegeta or me. He came to that decision all on his own. It’s been…difficult. Trunks always was quite the fodder for tabloids, but we’ve been very good about keeping this aspect of his life a secret, for many reasons. He’s doing…well, but this road to recovery has not been easy for him.”

Unexpectedly, Bulma turns her face from me and puts her hand against her cheek. I watch as her chest shudders, and I realize that she’s crying. Taken aback, I swallow uncomfortably. Bulma, as far back as I can remember, was always strong and in command. I can never remember a time when I had ever seen her break down in front of anybody. This behavior coming from her is distressing.

“Oh…Goten, it’s been so hard. Keeping it a…a secret. Watching him try to tear out his IV’s and find drugs to fill up his stressed body. Having Vegeta have to manhandle his own son. Those…that first month was the worst. He’s not like that anymore, but he’s so unhappy and I can’t stand seeing my son suffer. A mother shouldn’t…shouldn’t have to see that happen to her own child. And the worst part of it is that it’s because of my lack of understanding or vigilance that he ended up that way.”

Not really knowing what to do, I suddenly stand up and walk over to her. Grabbing her by the shoulders, I give her a hug. She cries for a few more minutes and then pulls away. Wiping her face with her hand, she laughs uneasily when some of her perfect mascara runs.

“Oh, God…I’m so embarrassed, Goten. I can’t believe I started crying in front of you. What you must think of me…” She trails off as she tries to wipe away the errant mascara.

“Bulma, I understand how you feel. And I feel like it’s partly my fault about what happened to Trunks.”

She pulls back away from, a look of concern on her face. Taking my hand in hers, she looks at me intently.

“Goten, you did nothing to lead Trunks to his problems. If anyone is to blame, it’s the fact that Vegeta and I did nothing when we knew he was starting to become a regular user of alcohol and drugs. Vegeta said he’d eventually learn not to mess with the stuff, but that only happened after he almost killed himself. Besides that, I guess neither one of us were very understanding of the demons driving Trunks to his self-destructive behavior. He grew up with everything, yet I never realized until he was almost taken from me how much I think his being given everything was part of the whole problem. I don’t really know. He doesn’t talk to me about it, and since he’s been in rehab, he asked to get back to work as the head of his department. I wasn’t really sure about allowing it, but I think he’s trying to prove that he’s turned over a new leaf. I just wish he was…happy. He’s not happy, not at all.”

I nod my head in understanding.

“Neither one of us has been really happy in a long time.”

She looks at me, slight confusion warring across her face.

“You’ve been unhappy, Goten? Well, I guess I would be if my friend suddenly disappeared from my life, but I had thought you and Trunks had come to some understanding, and that’s why I never heard from you for all these months, except for that meeting at that French restaurant. I guess that hasn’t been the case, has it? For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for whatever pain my son caused you.”

I blush slightly, putting my hand up to stop her from continuing.

“Look, Bulma, it was a two way street between Trunks and me. We somehow forgot to communicate our problems and thoughts to each other over the years, and this is the end result of that. He caused me pain, but I know I also gave him the same feeling, whether that was my intent or not. But…I want to start over. I miss him, and I haven’t felt like myself since I last saw him, but I’ve tried to go on with my life, just like I figured he was doing with his.”

Letting out a sigh, Bulma stands up suddenly and walks to a desk in the corner of the room. Taking a pen and a piece of paper, she sits back down and starts writing.

“Go and see him, Goten. I think…no, I know he would really appreciate it. He doesn’t talk about you, but I know he thinks about you often. I see him every day, you see. I think he half expects you to turn up and chew him out about something, although that has never been your personality. I think he’s disappointed every time it’s me who opens the door to his room.”

Tearing the piece of paper of the pad, she hands it to me and waits expectantly.

It’s an address. Honeywell is the name of the place, about as indistinct as you can get. She’s left me with a room number. Trunks’s room. I feel a deep gratitude towards Bulma. Leaning forward, I give her a quick hug.

“Can I…can I see him today?” I ask hesitantly.

“Of course you can. I’ll have to call and tell them to let you in. So far, only immediate family has been allowed to visit, but I can make an exception for you. Do you have an ID on you?”
I tell her yes, and with that, she pulls her cell phone out of her pocket and dials a number. I hear her talk to somebody at the reception desk, telling them to expect a Son, Goten as visitor for Trunks. Within a couple of minutes, she flips the phone shut and lays it on top of the coffee table.

“I’m so happy you came over, Goten. I really am. It’s been strange without seeing much of you, and I had hoped you weren’t avoiding us because of Trunks. You kind of grew up here, and it’s bothered me more than you can know this distance you’ve put between us. The only thing I ask of you is that you keep this a secret about Trunks. Like I said, nobody wants it being canvassed around that he’s been in drug rehab until he’s successfully recovered.”

With that, we both stand up and head towards the doorway. Once we get there, Bulma leans up and kisses me on the cheek. I blush at such a motherly gesture coming from her, but I let it go and wave goodbye as I step outside. She stands at the door for a moment, before closing it behind her and coming outside with me.

“Don’t be a stranger, Goten, no matter what happens between you and Trunks. You are always welcome here. I mean it. Even Vegeta’s missed having you around.”

I nod my head again and wave, before taking off into the sky. The address points out that wherever Honeywell is, it’s well outside of the city. Thankfully, the day is a beautiful one, and it only takes me a few minutes to leave West City behind. When I’m about a half an hour outside of the city, I sense out for Trunks’s ki and find it weakly shimmering against the backdrop of the countryside. Using that more than the address Bulma scribbled out for me, I bank to the left and in a few minutes, I find myself soaring over a building that looks like it was once some sort of resort. It’s an old plantation house with a long, tree-lined drive, two tennis courts, a swimming pool, and a lake. Figuring this must be the place, I land at the edge of the driveway and walk towards the house.

As soon as I reach the doorway, a rush of butterflies start to rip through my stomach. This day has been an unusual one, and there are so many questions that I want answers to, but mostly, I just want to make sure my friend is okay. I want to start over and patch up the pieces, and I hope he feels the same way. As for the rest, I’ll figure it out as it comes along.

Squashing my nervousness away, I pull open the door and walk towards the reception desk, taking my ID card out of my pants pocket. The place doesn’t look like a rehabilitation center, and had Bulma not told me that it was, I would have never known. It feels homey, warm, and comfortable, and I’m relieved that my friend hasn’t been languishing in some dumpy hospital like setting.

Standing next to the walnut desk, the receptionist looks up at me.

“Can I help you?” she asks.

“Yeah. I’m here to see Trunks Briefs in room 306. My name is Son, Goten, and I believe Bulma Briefs called to confirm that I was coming.”

She asks for my ID, which I hand over to her. Nodding in a satisfactory manner, she hands it back and has me sign into the guest register before telling me that while I am allowed to visit, Trunks is not allowed to leave through the front door or go out onto the grounds without notifying an attendant first. Letting her know that I understand, she offers to show me to his room. I follow her to an elevator. She hits the third floor button, and a few seconds later, the elevator dings and the doors open. Stepping outside of the elevator, we walk down to the end of the hallway, where there is a corner room.

“Here you are, Mr. Son. Just knock on the door. His chart says he should be at home.”

I tell her thank you and watch as she walks back to the elevator and steps inside. Pushing up my courage, I knock briskly on the door and wait before I hear a strong voice tell me it’s okay to come inside. Hoping I haven’t made a mistake, I turn the doorknob and pull the door open.

The room is larger than my apartment. There is a sitting room, a kitchen, a balcony that I can see peaking out behind some bay doors, and what looks to be a bedroom off to the side. And sitting at a desk, typing on a computer is Trunks, wearing a pair of sweatpants, a faded Capsule Corporation t-shirt, and a pair of glasses. He has his bare feet on his chair, tucked up underneath his bottom. For all intents and purposes, he looks like an undergraduate student lounging around on a Saturday working on a paper or something. He does not look like how I imagined, and I feel a great sense of relief.

He doesn’t look up from what he’s typing, but motions with a free hand for me to come in and sit down. Feeling out of my element, I close the door and walk towards him.

“I didn’t think you were going to come back today, Mom. I thought you wanted to make sure Bra got up and did something around the house. I’m just finishing up those specs you requested for that new capsule model I’ve been working on. You can take a look at them in a second.”

I’m a little surprised that he doesn’t know it’s me, but then, why would he? I haven’t seen him for over eight months and the only people who have been allowed to visit him up until know have been Bulma, Vegeta, Bra, and his grandparents. Clearing my throat, I decide to set him straight and find out exactly what his reaction will be to me. Our last conversation we had before we disappeared from each other’s lives replays uncomfortably through my head, and I wonder once again if I have made a mistake by coming here. Putting those ideas to the side, I push forward and tell him who I am.

“Uh, sorry to disappoint you, but it’s Goten, not your mom.”

Clasping my hands behind my back nervously, I watch as my words sink in. His back stiffens visibly, and his fingers still on his computer keyboard. Slowly, he swivels his chair around until his bright, blue eyes are staring at me with a very unreadable look.

“Goten…how…what are you doing here?”

Knowing what I say will matter in this initial visit, I pull my hands out from behind my back and tell him the truth.

“I’ve…been thinking a lot about you, so I finally went and talked to your mom. I had no idea you were here, Trunks. I tried to call you, you know. I didn’t forget about you. So, here I am.”
He blinks twice before unwrapping his legs.

“I know you called, idiot. I just didn’t have anything to say to you at the time, so I turned my phone off. And I specifically asked for certain people not to tell you where I was. But, I guess my ideas or opinions don’t seem to mean much anymore.”

I don’t know what to make of his comments, and inside, I feel crushed. I had hoped against my better judgment that this meeting would be going better. Trying not to let my disappointment show, I smile at him quickly and scratch the back of my head.

“Well, if that’s how you feel, I’ll leave. I’m really glad you are okay.”

I start to walk back towards to door, but his voice stops me.

“I’m not okay, Goten. I haven’t been okay for a very long time. And just because I asked my mother not to tell you where I’ve been, it doesn’t mean that I’m not happy to see you. I am, Goten. So please, don’t walk back out that door. I just…hell, who wants their friend to see what ending up on the bottom of a shit heap looks like? I have my…pride. And when it’s all said and done, I’m surprised you’d even go this far to try and make an attempt to find me. You’re better off without me.”

Turning around, I stare at him in surprise, and suddenly I find my voice. I’m glad he doesn’t really want me to leave, but the last comment about being better off without him hurts more than it should. It hurts because in all the years I have known Trunks, I’ve never once heard him talk about himself in a negative way, and I see exactly what Bulma meant when she said he wasn’t happy.

“Just wait one second, Trunks. Who are you to decide if I am better off without you? Don’t you think that it’s in my power to figure that out? Sure, things were pretty shitty between us, but I…that has never meant I wanted you out of my life. I know I said things that made you angry, but even after that, and even after all the times you’ve done things to hurt me, in the end, I can’t really see myself away from you. I’ve done the best I could for the last eight months, but you’re never out of my mind. So, for once in your life, just shut up and let me decide what is right for me, especially in regards to you, without deciding to take action into your own hands.”

I don’t mean to yell at him, but I can hear the last sentence echo throughout his rooms. Biting my tongue, I wait for his reaction. It isn’t long in coming, but it surprises me.

“You’re right, Goten. Who am I to make decisions like that for you, especially considering how I can’t even make them for myself? I’m sorry. The thing is, I’m trying to protect you from me. I’ve had a lot of months to think about a lot of things, and the conclusion I’ve come to is that I let my own confusion and frustration ruin what we had. You fucking pissed me off, Goten, and I’m ashamed to even admit that, because there was no reason for me to be angry in the first place. And what did I do? I drowned my sorrows in a bottle and tried to make it seem like I was better than you, but who ended up being the winner? You…you’ve always been strong. You could never see that in yourself, but you always have been, and that in and of itself made me want to rip you off your god dammed pedestal.”

He laughs bitterly, and then looks me in the eye.

“But who’s the one who lost the most? I don’t know when you became such an obsession with me, Chibi. You used to follow me. You used to do everything with me. And when that started to change, I tried to force you back on that path because I didn’t know what else to do. I’m a lot like my father. I looked down on you. I thought I was better than you. But that isn’t true, and it took almost killing myself to realize it. I wish…I wish I had never done that to you, Chibi. So if you want me back in your life, I guess I don’t really understand it, but I would like that.”

I slowly nod my head, and we both let out a sigh simultaneously. Not knowing what else to do, I start to talk.

“So….”

Trunks laughs, and this time, I can tell it is genuine.

“Well, welcome to my temporary home. I’d offer you a beer, but unfortunately, I’m not allowed to drink the stuff anymore. So is water okay?”

He stands up from his chair and pads over to the small kitchen, pulling open the fridge and tossing me a bottle of water. He then motions for me to sit down on the sofa before he plops himself back at his desk. I’m at a loss as to how to bridge the conversation, and I get the feeling that Trunks is, too. We sit like this for a while, drinking our water without saying anything before he finally speaks up.

“I’m glad you came, Chibi. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

We smile shyly at each other, and it’s as if that horrible period of the past has been temporarily put to the side for the moment. I know that we will have to talk about it eventually, and I will have to figure out where my feelings for Trunks and my feelings for Shinji belong, but until then, this is a welcome reprieve. I’m glad that my friend is doing well, considering what he must have went through. And I’m happy that there is a possibility our friendship can heal.

The one thing that I know for certain is that I don’t want to lose him ever again. I hope he feels the same way about me.

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End of chapter 13. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to leave a review, if you would like.