Cost of a Secret

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Chapter 14

Research

Ed hurried from the room, trying to remember what he could of that form of alchemy from his studies. He knew that Tucker had had quite a bit in his collection about it, but it had been years since Ed had seen any of it. It didn’t help that Ed had done his best since Tucker to try to put everything about that time from his mind. Even if he couldn’t really forget Nina.

He moved quickly from the doorway, not really noticing as some greeted him, others stared. He walked through the halls, nearly oblivious as his focus was solely in his own mind. His body was on autopilot Ed passed Havoc, but paid him no notice until the older man grabbed his arm, stopping him momentarily.

“Ed, are you okay?” he asked. “Your lip’s bleeding.”

Ed darted his tongue out and found the coppery taste of blood lingering on it. Roy really hit him hard, but Ed knew he’d been verbally hitting below the belt when he’d commented on Roy’s parenting skills. Realistically, Roy could have tried harder to stay near his son or have his son with him, but at least he visited the boy and seemed to love him dearly. Even at the end, Ed couldn’t be sure his father didn’t sacrifice himself more because of weariness to live on without his mother or to save Ed and Al. Al liked to believe the latter. Something in Hohenheim’s eyes that night made Ed think it was the former.

“Did he do that to you?” Havoc asked, looking frighteningly like an older brother at the moment. His voice was low, quiet enough that others in the hall wouldn’t hear, but the look in his eyes said that if Ed wasn’t careful of his choice of words to follow, he’d hurt Mustang.

“We argued and it got a little out of hand, though you might want to check he doesn’t have a concussion,” Ed said quietly. “I slammed him against the wall a bit hard.”

Ed made sure to omit who did what first, and just did his best to ensure that Havoc understood that he’d given as good as he got.

“I have to go to the library,” Ed said. “It could be a long night for me. I have no idea when I will get home.”

“Doesn’t the library, you know, close?” Havoc handed him a handkerchief, one he knew the older man kept around for crying women. Havoc swore that being able to offer a distressed woman his handkerchief made a lasting, positive impression on her. Being that Ed had no interest in making a lasting impression of the type Havoc meant, he couldn’t really say.

“After the library closes, I’m grabbing food and heading to the bastard’s house,” Ed said. “He needs my help. If you see Al, tell him I’ll probably need him too, if he’s willing. Tell him I’ll explain the whole thing tomorrow once I have time to see the extent of the problem.”

“Do you think it’s a good idea, you and the chief working together?” Havoc asked, looking down at the split lip.

“No choice,” Ed said, brusquely. “This isn’t for me. It’s bigger than that, so I think we can keep from going at one another. Besides, I’m a big boy, I can handle myself.” He pulled himself from Havoc’s loose grip. “Gotta go. See you tonight. Maybe tomorrow.” And with that, Ed was down the hall and out the door.

Ed ran from the building like a man possessed. His mind was already going a mile a minute. He recognized the symbol that Mustang had shown him, both what it was for and how it had to be applied. The problem was that the kind of alchemy involved had been out of use for well over a century, save for the rare case of someone like Zolf Kimblee. What might be recorded on it would be difficult to find, even just the small amount necessary to trigger the knowledge crammed into his head by the Gate.

********

Roy realized he was behaving like he was back in the Academy once again, as he’d ordered a pizza, of all things, and plenty of snacks, coffee and soda to keep him and Ed going through the night. It was as though he was once more cramming for a major exam, but there was an edge to it as he knew this was a thousand times more important. There was also a giddiness that he hated to acknowledge because he knew he was going to be working with Ed on something involving alchemy.

He’d never had the opportunity to work with the teen quite like this. They might comment on one another’s work, or at night, they would pick one another’s brains, but Roy knew this would be different. He was going to see Ed’s mind in its glory, and as a fellow alchemy nerd—though he hid it better than most—that made Roy more excited than he should.

Forcibly sobering himself, Roy thought about the boy who had just gone to bed with his cat laying across the top of the bed. This was about him, not about Ed or behaving like he was twenty all over again. This was about his son and the circle that spread across his small back. This was about the danger that Liam was in as long as it was there.

The knock at Roy’s door brought him quickly out of this thoughts. He quickly went to answer it, finding Ed loaded down with what appeared to be a few dozen books.

Awkwardly, he helped the young man with the books and ushered him into the library. He’s already put some pens and papers next to Ed’s chair—Roy had purchased it three years ago, but it had become the spot he was most likely to find his then-lover and would forever be Ed’s.

“Thank you for this,” Roy said. He set the books down on the large mahogany desk and looked back at Ed, noticing the scabbed lip. “Shit… did I do—”

“Yeah, you did,” Ed said as he set the books next to the stack Roy had carried in. He continued before Roy could make any apologies for it. “How’s your head, by the way?”

“I have a bit of a goose egg at the back, but I’ve had worse,” Roy said, his hand going up to gingerly rub at the spot.

“Look, what I said…”

“Doesn’t matter,” Roy said. It didn’t. He deserved worse than that from the young man. He was honestly surprised his son didn’t feel as though he had let him down. Maybe that would come with age, once he realized just how much his father had failed him.

“So should we get to work?” Roy asked. “I’ve got a pizza on its way and food and drink if this ends up being a late night.”

Ed made an approving face. “I grabbed a sandwich earlier, but after lugging around those books, pizza sounds good.” He paused and looked at the two stacks on the desk. “It might not be a bad idea to catch you up on what I already know.”

Roy nodded and watched as Ed instinctually went to his chair, but not lounging across it with the familiarity he’d had once before. That thought stung, even if he knew it was his own damned fault. “Alchemy goes through cycles of being used for general welfare and being used as a weapon. Hundreds of years ago, they were in a weapon phase and figured out how to enhance their own abilities and specialties through tattoos. For example, you might have your fire symbols on the back of your hand, instead of on your gloves, enhancing your alchemy.

“It worked well enough, but eventually someone decided that human alchemy would make it work better. Using natural melanin in the body, they began creating tattoos that were actually a part of the alchemist.”

Roy frowned. “So you’re saying that that thing on my son’s back is… a giant mole?”

“More or less,” Ed said. “But it’s a deep one. If you have it cut surgically, it will likely scar in the same pattern, if not come through again later. That was because once a tattoo like that was put on someone’s body, it wasn’t supposed to be removed. It was only ever done for two reasons: to give a fighter a strong weapon that could never be lost and even act on the alchemist’s instinct or to torture a prisoner or victim.” Ed managed to keep his voice steady, but Roy felt sick at the thought of what Liam had been through, at what the potential for that symbol on the boy’s back could be.

“The process is incredibly painful,” Ed continued. “But for the fighters, it was worth it. For the prisoners, well, no one really cared because whatever the symbols were for was going to be painful anyway. The problem really was that if someone captured a fighter with those symbols. Think Zolf Kimblee, since he had the same thing. If they weren’t killed on sight, they were a danger, just like Kimblee.

“I know they must have had a way to get rid of the symbols alchemically. I just don’t know how.”

There was a knock at the door and Roy numbly stood from his chair to go an answer it, mind racing as it processed what Ed had told him. This wasn’t just a tattoo with ink. It was a part of his son.

********

Ed regretted the things he’d said about Roy as a parent. The look on the man’s face as he’d explained what those circles were for had been so pained it hurt for Ed to see, knowing that as he continued . With the older man now gone, the calm demeanor that Ed had possessed while explaining disappeared. Memories of the little girl he’d all but adopted as his own little sister morphed with her dog flooded his mind until he thought he might drown in them.

He thought of Marta too. How long had it been since he’d thought of the woman? How long had it been since he recalled her kindness and how she had died?

Ed remembered asking her about how she was transformed, had asked for the details she didn’t really want to tell two boys. She had described the process as best someone who was a layman to alchemy could. She had explained how it felt as though they had carved designs on her body, but when she watched them do the same to the snake, she saw the painful things had been a tattoo sort of substance. It was the only way to create a perfect chimera, they had told her. The only way that the melding between man and beast would not be a lifetime of agony.

If the circle was still on the boy’s back, then it needed removed. It had only been a few symbols away from completion, just one quick transmutation to put those symbols in place, and then mesh him together with an animal. It made Ed’s stomach lurch and he wasn’t sure he could stomach the pizza he knew had just arrived.

He would have to ask Roy the name of Liam’s mother, to see if it was anything familiar. Maybe so he could hunt the woman down for himself.

Roy returned with the box of pizza.

“Roy…” Ed looked at the box, appetite gone. “The symbol… it is definitely on Liam? Just as he drew it?”

“On his back,” Roy said with a solemn nod. “No additional symbols, but it’s close enough to being complete from what I’ve read.”

“Shit.” He drew his feet up onto the chair, curling his body into the green chair. “Shit,” he repeated.

“My thoughts exactly,” Roy said.

“What is her name?” Ed said. “Liam’s mother.”

“Karen Tyler, formerly a major.”

“I remember her. She was trying to develop weapons,” Ed said. “I signed the forms that dropped her military funding. Was this because of that?” He knew that technically he had just done his job, but the thought that he might have provided the impetus for the woman to go after her own child was more than a little unsettling.

“It isn’t your fault,” Roy said. “That process of kicking her out of the state military had already begun.”

Ed looked up at Roy, still surprised after all these years that the man was able to read him so well. “We’re going to have to get to work then.” He got up from his seat and grabbed a small stack of the books he’d set on Roy’s desk and began reading. He saw out of the corner of his eye as Roy did the same.

There had been a time when Ed had wanted to work on a project with the older man as their professional—and personal, to be perfectly honest—personalities worked well together. He had pictured something like improving farming techniques, irrigation and well drilling maybe. He had always envisioned something that would benefit the people. Not in a million years would he have pictured this would be the project that would finally bring them to work together.

********

It was well after midnight by the time Roy admitted that his eye was killing him and he couldn’t read another page without a break. The pizza sat untouched, as it seemed neither he nor Ed could manage to eat anything. He stood and rubbed at the overstrained eye. He wanted to work harder, to match the young man, but he simply couldn’t do it any longer. With only one functioning eye, it grew overworked much too easily, and he could no longer ignore the headache that made his entire head throb.

Roy walked over to Ed and put his hand on the teen’s flesh shoulder. “Can I get you something to drink? Or heat up the pizza?”

Ed looked over at the box. “I don’t feel very hungry. But I could use a drink. Coffee if you have it.”

Roy nodded. “It won’t take long to make.” He let his hand linger for a moment, trying to relish the fact that he was allowed, if just temporarily, to touch the young man in a way that wasn’t slamming him into the wall of his office. Thinking back on it made Roy once again regret that it enough as it was that the fat lip the teen was sporting was all thanks to him.

Slowly, he moved away from Ed and walked from the room. Though there was an uncomfortable air, this was the first time in the last few weeks that he felt like his home was at rights. It was strange how it took Ed’s presence for that to happen.

Roy was also somewhat amazed at how much faith he held in Ed’s abilities to find an answer. For the first time in months, he felt incrementally more relaxed. While there was no denying that he was still on edge, he just felt confident that Ed would find the solution they needed.

As he walked into the kitchen, Roy went straight for the new pack of vanilla coffee. Ed had always liked the extra flavoring, not to mention the fact that it was considerably sweeter than Roy’s usual brand. He put the coffee grounds into the percolator along with the water and got it going on the stove. Roy didn’t have the space for the large automatic coffee machine at work, nor did he think it made a very good cup of coffee.

Rubbing his temples, the man waited for the familiar noise of the percolator as he walked to the medicine cabinet. He had begun keeping his medicines out in the kitchen because it was easier to keep them out of Liam’s reach and to child proof the doors. He fumbled a few times with the small latch before finally getting the door open. He needed something to kill the pain, something that wasn’t in his—also child-proofed—liquor cabinet. Getting out two little white pills and filling a glass with tap water, he took them and prayed to some distant pharmaceutical god that they worked quickly.

When he heard the familiar popping/clopping sound of the percolator, Roy got out two coffee cups. While the vanilla coffee wasn’t his favorite, he could drink it if he had to.

“I’ve got it!” a shout rang through the downstairs, nearly making Roy drop the coffee pot he’d just picked up. In no time, Roy was faced with an enthusiastic Ed. The older man had seen this look on Ed’s face before. That exuberant face was one of Ed’s most alluring, and now it and the hope that it held drew Roy in more than ever before. “I’ve found out how they got rid of the symbols.”

Roy carefully set down the coffee pot, not trusting his grip to remain as strong as before.

“They didn’t get rid of them, per se, because they were too important to just remove from a person. Sometimes there was a lot of study that went into each symbol. They would transfer them to other people. And you can transfer them in entirety and in parts. Roy, we could get them off your son—”

And before his brain could hear more than the fact that the symbols could be eliminated from Liam’s back, he rushed forward and kissed Ed out of gratitude.

********

Ed was so damned shocked by the kiss that the book he’d carried out with him to the kitchen crashed to the floor. Naturally, he needed to pull away. Very quickly. Obviously, this was not what he needed to be doing, this wasn’t beneficial to the boy, nor to either of them.

However, his body wasn’t listening to what was natural and obvious. His hands fiercely threaded themselves through Roy’s hair and gave a tug. His mind was screaming at his traitorous body. He needed to stop this now.

So why wasn’t he?

Roy’s hands were getting grabby as well, holding onto Ed’s face and waist, holding him close. It was so damned easy to just fall back into the routine, and as Ed was edging Roy closer to the wall, he really didn’t care. Just a kiss and Ed was already getting hard. It really had been too long since they’d had sex, since he’d been inside the older man—longer still since Roy had been inside of him.

Well, he didn’t care until Roy managed to gather his wits about him.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he pulled back. “I didn’t think.”

Ed still held tightly to Roy’s hair. He stared at the man owlishly for a few moments before finally reacting and pulling his hand away.

“Fuck,” he said, trying to move backwards from the man, while ignoring the erection that was fairly obvious despite the coverage of his pants.

“I’m sorry,” Roy repeated. “I really shouldn’t have…” He bent down and picked up the book Ed had dropped. “I had no right.”

“You’re damned right you didn’t,” Ed said. He was panting, aroused and pissed at Roy and at himself.

Roy handed him the book. “So now what do we do?”

The look in the older man’s eyes seemed to be questioning about more than just the transmutation circle currently on Liam’s back, but Ed wasn’t about to answer to anything else. “We need to figure out who’s going to get the circle transferred to them.”

“I am,” Roy said with that tone that said there would be no room for question or disagreement.

“Fine,” Ed said. After all, what Roy didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. “Then let’s get to work.”