school adversary

Part 14

I lay in bed that night, thinking. My thoughts tumbling and twisting around in my head in a circular pattern of self-blame that was driving me crazy. Trowa had left for camp that afternoon, so I couldn't unburden my self on him. I deserved to suffer though, after treating Duo that way. I deserved everything I got and more. He was such a bright soul, despite everything he had been through. I shifted in my bed again, trying to find a more comfortable position. My torturous thoughts would not let me rest though, making me relive those horrendous moments over and over again.
As soon as I got out of the shower and found him gone, I realised what I had done. I had told him I could never care for him, that nobody could ever care for him, and that had been so wrong! Even if I had wanted to drive him away, I'd had no right to erode his self-confidence. I should have just made him angry, made him leave me because he was furious, not because he was filled with sorrow. All yesterday I had called myself ten types of fools, even ringing Trowa to subtly try and find out where Duo had gone, telling him he'd forgotten something. He wasn't at Quatre's and I couldn't think of anywhere else he'd go besides his dorm. I decided to head there, as I couldn't ring him.
When I got to his dorm, I just opened it without knocking, and discovered that he wasn't there anyway. I was really worried then, but I couldn't ask anyone about him because of the whole jock/worm thing. It was so frustrating!
I hadn't slept well at all last night.
This morning when I woke up, I had decided to apologise profusely for everything I had done to Duo and beg his forgiveness. Then, when he'd walked into the room, determined grin plastered to his face, my eyes had be drawn to his wrist as my mind brought up the sickening crunch I had heard as my foot connected with it. Duo's entire arm had been wrapped in a fibreglass cast. I felt sick to my stomach as the vision of that cast filled my mind again.
As soon as I had seen that cast, I knew it was hopeless. Duo would never forgive me now, he would hate me forever, and I knew I deserved it. I should just leave him alone to get on with his life.
That was what I had decided to do today, but tonight I couldn't hold on to my resolve. I was all alone again, and I missed Duo awfully. I remembered his warmth, his smile, his laugh.
I finally fell asleep, only to dream about him being close to me, holding me, touching me, caressing me. I dreamt I was inside of him again, reaching the stars as we came together. I woke up and, upon realising that it was only a dream, hated myself for throwing away Duo's warmth and light. I needed him so very badly, but I could never have him again.
That night I cried for the first time in years.

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I woke up the next morning to the most unusual sensation of a small child in pink feety pyjamas jumping on me. Relena had risen, and that meant that everyone else had to as well. Aw hell! Even though it was seven in the morning and I didn't have to take her to kinda till 10, I couldn't be mad. She was just too cute, and I had missed her far too much. Besides, she hadn't wet the bet that night, or she would have come quietly, ashamed (although she shouldn't be). How could you scold her after doing so well?
"Hey munchkin" I said brightly. I told you I was a morning person. I think Relena inherited my morning person jeans, even though we weren't technically related, it had to have happened somehow.
"Hey Duo!" She replied, stopping her bouncing to perch on my chest. "What are you doing here?"
"What, don't you want me?" I asked her, mock hurt in my voice.
"Of courth thilly!" she giggled. "But why are you here? I haven't theen you in thuch a long time."
"Well, I've been really busy with school my little munchkin, but now that I've got everything done, I can stay around for two weeks!" I grinned at her broadly. She didn't have to know the REAL reason why I had stayed away.
"Two whole weekth! YEY!" She shrieked in excitement and began jumping up and down again. Then Wufei was at the door, leaning on the frame.
"I see Relena's making up for lost time." I looked at him, then looked away hurriedly. The feelings that rose within me when I looked at that delicious, tanned body, were too familiar and also too scary for me to deal with at the moment. I'd be glad when he went to school so I could have some time to myself. I still had to sort out my feelings for Heero, and now that all my more-than-friend emotions for Wufei had made themselves know to me, I was more in need of time off than ever. "Come on, breakfast's ready" Wufei added before going back to the kitchen, Relena in tow. I watched his ass moving beneath those loose black jeans before climbing out of bed and pulling on a pair of worn, dark grey (originally black) jeans. They were my favourite because I had had them for so long, and they were so comfortable. They had rips in both knees, my upper right thigh, just under the left side of my ass and another one a couple of inches under the last one mentioned. They also had worn and frayed edges around the bottom of the legs. The zip was a little loose on them , but they had been around for years, so it was only to be expected. It was comforting to know that they were still the same and wouldn't change on me. Well, unless they fell a little more apart.
I wandered down to the kitchen, finally realising how much I had missed the warmth and comfort that the house had always provided. I got to the kitchen in time to see Lena digging into a short stack of syrup dripping pancakes. That girl had a sweet tooth that could rival my own. I sat down at the table opposite her, the wooden chair cool against my back, and reached for a large helping of the delicious pancakes that Wufei made to perfection.
"What'th that on your arm Duo?" Relena asked me, as I poured syrup over my pancakes liberally. I inwardly cringed. I hope she wasn't going to get too curious about it. I hated lying to her. I hated lying full stop! But I wasn't going to tell anyone the truth until I figured out what I wanted to do about Heero.
"It's a cast honey."
"What'th it for?" I was aware that Wufei had stopped what he was doing and was listening intently.
"It's because I broke a bone in my arm, and it has to be kept straight so that it can heal properly. This cast is made of fibreglass and so it's really hard. See?" I leant over, letting her touch my cast. I hoped that she wouldn't continue this conversation, but she was curious to say the least, and I would probably be here for a long time. It was made worse by Wufei's intense scrutiny.
"How did your arm get broke?"
"Broken" I replied, stalling for time and looking down at my food. I wish I had my sunglasses with me.
"OK, how did your arm get broken?" I paused, my fork in mid air. I could feel Wufei's gaze on me, almost burning me with its intensity.
"I had an accident." I said, continuing to eat.
"What type of acthident?"
"Yes Duo, what type of accident?" I looked up at Wufei, watching me to see if I would lie. There was determination in his eyes, and I knew he would not back down. I thought about the reason why my arm was broken, and allowed some of the mental anguish that had haunted me since that morning to come crashing down on me. Wufei must have noticed something in my eyes. Something that I didn't want him to see, for his face changed then, and I knew my mask of cheerfulness had slipped.
I quickly gathered myself and rearranged my features into that of a cheerful grin. I knew I couldn't lie, not then, not to Lena, and not in front of Wufei. "I got someone a little angry, and they accidentally broke it."
"How?" Relena asked, eyes wide with curiosity and syrup adorning her cute little mouth.
"He kicked it" Relena's eyes widened at that.
"But that'th bad! Mrth. Bloom said that it'th wrong to hit people."
"Yes, it is wrong to hit people, but he didn't mean to, so it's okay."
"But-"
"Hey munchkin, isn't it time for 'The Jetson's'?" I asked her before she could ask too many more questions. Relena nodded and ran out of the room. I stared down at my pancakes, moving the small pieces I had left around my plate. Suddenly, my appetite was gone.
A shadow fell over me, obscuring the light. I knew it would be Wufei, so I didn't bother to look up. "Who was it Duo?" he asked me, like I knew he would. I looked up at him then, a grin still plastered on my face, dreading the questions that would come.

"Who was what?" I asked him.
Wufei grabbed my shoulders and shook me a little. "The person who broke your arm. Who was it?"
"It was an acci-"
"It was not! We both know that a kick that strong could never have happened by accident. Now tell me who it was!"
"I don't want to talk about it" I said stubbornly, extracting myself from his grip and walking quickly back to my room. I wish Wufei wouldn't push. Couldn't he see I didn't want to talk about it? Some people were just too stubborn for their own good.