school adversary

Part 15

I watched as Duo stalked back to his room, probably going to put something a bit more decent on. I swear, even though they were baggy, those jeans could raise my internal temperature several degrees. I sighed and started to clear the table. I wish he would just tell me who the hell had broken his arm! Some people are just too stubborn for their own good!
But maybe, if I just sat down and thought about it calmly and logically, I could figure it out for myself. Then I could catch him off gaurd with the information and startle him into telling me the truth. Yes, that could work.
OK then. It couldn't be a jock, because then Duo would have been down on them like a ton of bricks for daring to question his authority. So, no jocks. Ok then, who the hell was left? It had to be someone that Duo cared about an awfull lot or he wouldn't be protecting them with his silence. Maybe it was a jock then? Maybe he had a lover? No, if Duo had a jock lover then he would have told me or Quatre. So, it follows reason that the person was a worm. Yet, the only worm that Duo had been hanging around with was Heero...who was a martial art expert. Could it be Heero? But Duo hated Heero, didn't he? They *had* been spending an awful lot of time together, but that was because of Quatre and Trowa, wasn't it? I sat down at the table to think about it.
Duo was the ideal jock personified, and Heero was your typical worm, so how could Duo like him enough to protect him? Especially after breaking his wrist. Yet, Trowa was almost exactly like Heero, and Quatre was a jock like Duo, so maybe if *they* got together, then Heero and Duo could. I felt anger rise within me. Anger and jealousy.
I had loved the braided boy ever since I had met him. That was why I had hated Quatre so much, because I thought the two had been lovers. Then, when Quatre caught my crying over the hopelessness of the situation, I had confessed everything to him, and he had told me that as far as he knew, Duo had never had a boyfriend OR girlfriend.
For Duo's first love to be some heartless bastard who would callously break his wrist, it made me tremble with rage! I was convinced that it was Heero now. The facts all fit! Heero was a martial arts expert, capable of snapping Duo's wrist. He had also spent a large amount of time with Duo, enought time for them to become friends, even lovers, although I hated the thought of his hands on Duo. A strong enough bond for Duo to feel the need to protect Heero.
All though I was sure that Heero was the one who had broken Duo's wrist, I couldn't confront duo with the information until I had it confirmed. And Heero's behavoiur at school would either confirm or deny it.
I got up from the table and headed to school.

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I had math first double period, and even though I knew I had no rite to, I was looking forward to seeing Duo again. I sat down in my usual seat. The one next to me was empty as Trowa was at camp, probably frolicking naked with Quatre. I had seen the amount of lube he had taken, and so had no illusions about what exactly those two had in mind.
The bell came and went, and the teacher came 15 minutes late, but Duo still did not appear. I frowned at that and kept glancing over my shoulder at his seat in case he had magically morphed there while I wasn't looking. I knew I had to stop looking though. I was earning very odd looks from Wufei. Almost like he knew...No, I had to be imagining things. Duo wouldn't have told him, wouldn't have told anyone, but I still had to stop staring at Duo's empty seat.
Knowing I had to stop and actually stopping two entirely different things, and so I kept looking, just in case.
The rest of the day passed like that. With me scanning the environment for any sight of that marvelously long rope of hair that Duo sported. Straining me ears for a note of the musical sound of his laughter.
God I needed him! Needed his noise to make up for my quietness, his jocularity to make up for my solomness. I needed him so badly that it was like a physical pain inside of me, but now he was gone. Because I had pushed him away. Because I had broken his wrist. Because I had fucked him and then told him to get the hell out.
But I hadn't fucked him. We had made love. There was a world of difference. The whole thing had tanscended a mere physical act to become the sharing of our souls, even if it was only briefly.
I knew I had to get him back, had to make him mine again, no matter what it took.

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I put Lena down for her afternoon nap, despite much protests. "I'm not tired at all Duo! Can't I thtay up, jutht thith oneth?" It had taken three and a half stories, but she had finally drifted off, leaving me with plenty of time to figure out what the hell was happening.
While this was taking place, I decided to bake some cookies, no mean feat when you have your arm in a cast. Instead of mixing it by hand, I had to use the hand held electric beater, something that I hate! I mean, electric mixed dough just doesn't taste as good! And have you ever tried to lick beaters? Anyway, I put the cookies into bake, and then I sat down and watched them, giving myself no choice but to think about what was happening to my love life. God, I wanted Wufei so much! Yet, I still wanted Heero as well. What was I supposed to do? Loving two people at once was just not right. I mean, loving a guy was a sin, but two of them?
Well, I had to forget Heero, I had to stop loving him. He had rejected me, and so I knew I had to stop loving him. But I just couldn't! Despite his having stomped all over me, I knew that I would forgive him if he asked me to. I sighed and put my head on my hands.
Could I even consider having a relationship with Wufei while I was still so in love with Heero? And if so, was it really fair? To either of them?
Ok, lets just try and straighten everything out! I love Heero, but he doesn't want me, so therefore, that's over. I love Wufei, but he probably doesn't love me, so that's over before it even began. Therefore, I am now alone again.
I sighed at that unhappy prospect. Oh well, better to be alone that to be hurt again. It looked like the only way I would be with someone was if Heero begged me for forgiveness (on his knees!), or Wufei admitted that he had feelings for me. Neither concept looked like it would happen soon, if ever. This thought had me spiraling down into a deep well of depression that affected me so much that I couldn't even eat the not so good cookies that I had baked. Yet I had to be cheery, had to keep up the facade, because Relena chose that moment to surface from her bedroom, carrying her 'Hello Kitty' doll. Her hair was mussed, she was rubbing her eyes sleepily and she was determined to get some of the chocolate and cinnamon cookies that had just come out of the oven.
"Carefull now little one, they're hot" I cautioned her as she reached for one. She nodded, and took one carefully, her little blue eyes lighting up.
"I love your cookieth Duo." I left her in the family room watching Playschool while I went to get my sunglasses. Wufei would be home soon, and I did not want him to see how I was feeling at the moment.