Cost of a Secret

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been reading. I feel so bad for not posting last chapter sooner, since it's been done for a while, you all get a new chapter in less than a week. Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing as well. I appreciate them all, and I will be honest that it is the reviews that keep me going.

Chapter 19

Karma Lies

Their train had left within a half hour, just enough time for Karen to have gotten the boy aboard another train and headed for Eastern Headquarters. The next train in that direction wouldn’t leave until later that day, and that was if they were even certain the woman had taken it. Falman had proven exactly why he’d been part of the investigative team with Maes, as he’d found Karen had been staying at a hotel in town the night before, and that she had purchased tickets in her own name to take Liam back to Eastern Headquarters with her.

That train was leaving the station by the time the message came through from Liam’s teachers, and it was out of range for radio to make it stop for a quick search of passengers. So instead, they had to follow it until the nearest depot. But until then, all that could be done would be to follow behind and hope to catch up.

The question in pursuing her was: Was she going to make it so obvious to follow her back or was this all a distraction?

Riza had told Roy it could easily have been a trap, and he understood that, which was why he didn’t go charging after Karen himself. Instead, he had organized the team, gotten Lt. Colonel Armstrong involved, let Ed and Al both agree to go on the trek eastward. Roy called every command post along the way, hoping to catch Karen and Liam as they made their way to her home.

Sitting on a train, Roy was torn between his team, who were focusing on the investigation, and the alchemists, who were focusing on what Karen had done and could do. Riza, Havoc, Falman, Fuery and Breda along with Shezka were poring over maps, responding to radios communiqué and plotting every possible move that Karen could make.

In another compartment, Armstrong, Ed, Al and another alchemist Roy only knew in passing, called the Granite Alchemist, were all huddled over documents and transmutation circles. The four worked together on documents that Roy had been trying to keep secret since Nina Tucker had been killed. Documents that the military had been trying very hard to keep quiet and from the eyes of other state alchemists.

He stepped in with the other four alchemists again.

“This stuff is absolutely amazing,” Major Lawson said. “Sickening, but amazing. Why the hell would anyone want to do this?”

“You can give a human animal characteristics and control the extent of those characteristics. The ability to move like a snake, to have the obedience of a loyal pet, to have the strength of a gorilla,” Ed explained. “Though… are you sure you weren’t part of an experiment once because your strength and intelligence could be comparable to a gorilla. Though I may be giving you too much credit.”

The man rolled his eyes. “How many times do I have to apologize? I thought you put me pretty much in my place at the gym, Lt. Colonel.”

“Just making sure you remembered.”

Roy curled his hand into a fist. The friendly banter, as his son was possibly suffering at his mother’s hand, infuriated him. But there wasn’t much else that could be done.

“Major General,” Lawson said, “did you need a seat?” He gestured to a spot beside Ed, but Roy just numbly looked at the seat and the young man.

To his surprise, he felt a glove-covered automail hand pulling him down onto the bench-style seat.

“I know you’re at a loss right now,” Ed said in a quiet, even tone, “but standing around isn’t going to do any good. You know best how to deal with Karen because you know her.”

“Not well enough, obviously,” Roy said. “Or I wouldn’t have left Liam with her.”

“We know that,” Armstrong said. “I know you would never have left the boy with her if you had seen what a monster she was. Who is going to expect that of a mother? For the Armstrongs, family always comes first, but that woman went against family. Who could possibly anticipate that? Mothers should not be so cruel to their own, innocent children, which is why they must always, always be brought to justice.”

Roy couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Armstrong look so cold. Not even at Ishbal. Even then, he’d been emotionally open, sad. Instead, he saw anger on the blond man’s face and little else. There wasn’t a doubt in Roy’s mind that if Armstrong found the woman first, he would show no mercy. That gave the raven-haired man some satisfaction, because he knew what an angry member of the Armstrong family could do.

“So we need to find a way to combat this,” Al said. “Some way to fight. What do we do?”

“If what the kid said was true,” Ed said, “and it probably was, then mommy dearest is creating chimeras who are at least partially human, but with a variety of animals and at varying degrees of humanity left in them. The three of us…” Ed gestured to Armstrong, Al and himself. “Have fought against chimeras before.”

“Fighting tactics all depend upon what the animal or animals have been combined with the human,” Armstrong said seriously. “I think the major and I should stick with the animals who would rely on strength. A normal bullet won’t take them down, but since we both use stones with our alchemy, we have a better chance of taking them down.”

“What sort of animals are you anticipating?” Major Lawson asked.

“We have seen a bull before,” Armstrong said. “I regretted having to fight him. He had once been a member of the military, but fate put us on opposite sides of the battlefield.”

“Fate and the former fuhrer,” Ed said. Armstrong nodded gravely.

“But he died with honor, as did the soldier who had been combined with the canine,” Armstrong added, and the brothers nodded solemnly.

“And of course, there was Martel,” Al said. “She was combined with a snake.” He looked solemn at that, and Roy remembered vaguely that the chimera had been killed while inside of his armor. “She had the ability to move like a snake.”

Ed stood and stretched. “Roy, want to go for a walk with me? Stretch our legs a bit?”
The older man looked up at Ed for a moment, his mind trying to piece together why the blond would be wanting time alone with him until finally, he nodded numbly and stood, deciding he’d at least take whatever he could get.

********

Ed could understand why Roy was behaving the way he was. Really, he could, but this wasn’t the man that Ed knew. This wasn’t the man who silently stewed after Maes Hughes had been killed, but plotted revenge. It was as though Roy had given up already, and Ed knew that couldn’t happen for the kid’s sake.

Roy followed him far too obediently, so Ed quickly tugged his hand, pulling him into an empty compartment—one reserved for when it was time for the team to rest.

“Talk,” Ed said.

“About what, Ed?” Roy asked.

“Anything. Everything. I don’t know when I’ve seen you this pessimistic.”

“I barely managed to save him once, Ed,” Roy said, taking a seat on one of the hard benches. “What makes you think I will be able to save him this time around?”

“Because you’re his father. Because you’re also Roy Mustang. You took down the fuhrer. You are moving through the ranks and very likely to become the head of the military if you keep things up. You have people here who dropped everything they were doing to support you and to see he gets back safe. Are you saying that you don’t have faith in their abilities?”

“I trust them,” Roy said. “They will do everything they can, but Karen was torturing him for so long, and I had no idea.”

“I think it’s how Liam wanted it,” Ed said. Roy’s head snapped up to look at the young man who was standing in front of him. “For you not to know. Do you want to know what I think, Roy? I don’t think Liam is Karen’s real target. I think it’s you. I think this is a huge trap, and Liam will be fine. Shaken, scared, but physically fine. I think she’s going to use him to lure you in, and he always suspected that.”

“And if you’re wrong?”

“And if I’m wrong, then nothing we can do can change the circumstances. But if I’m right and you go charging in with a fatalistic attitude, it will play right into her hands.”

“I feel like no matter what I do, it’s going to play into her hands,” Roy said. “She knows my behavior far better than I ever knew hers. Obviously.” He looked out the window at the quickly passing scenery, Ed’s eyes following to look as well.

“Well, then you’re a lucky bastard for having me here. I’ve dealt with more psychos in my short life than most will in a lifetime.”

“Which is my fault,” Roy said.

Ed rolled his eyes. “Yes, it’s all your fault that I decided to try human transmutation, your fault that I lost my arm and leg, your fault my dad ran off when I was a kid. Right. All your fault.”

“I take the blame for everything since then.”

“I might have liked to have heard that when I was a kid, but you know, really you weren’t. You protected Al and me from seeing some of the worst shit, whenever you could. Some of it, like with that bastard Tucker, no one could have predicted, just like this.”

“I know you don’t want a repeat of what happened with Nina Tucker,” Roy said.

“Thank you, General Obvious for pointing that out,” Ed said. “But that isn’t the only reason I’m here. The kid deserves better, and you know, despite everything, I think you do too.” They stayed there in silence for some time, Roy sitting, still looking crushed as he stared at the window. Ed stood in front of him, close to him, first watching the landscape and then turning his attention to the man. “You know, at some point, you have to stop trying to pay for Ishbal.”

He got no answer from the dark-haired man. “I was talking to Melissa about you, and I think her theory was right,” Ed said. “Care to hear what it was?” Still nothing from Roy. “She thought that you had a strong belief in karma, that you thought the world was conspiring against you to hurt you in retribution for what you did in the military. That it will take everything from you.”

“When that is wrong, let me know.”

Ed knew he was going to regret this later. He had thought of many ways to do this, and it would be after Roy came groveling back to him—when he was in a kinder, more forgiving mood, that was—but not like this. He had been in the right. He didn’t need to be the one to fix things. And yet he was trying.

He placed his hands at either side of Roy’s face and forced the man to look at him. “You have to stop punishing yourself for that. If not for you, how about for all of the people who would suffer for your defeatist attitude?”

The older man pondered that for a moment. Ed could practically see the cogs working in the older man’s brain. The dark eye not covered by the patch of black fabric searched his face.

“For what I’ve done to you, for the kind of father I’ve been to Liam, you of all people should hate me,” Roy said finally after some time. Yeah, it was no secret that Ed still resented his father and any other neglectful parents, but Roy was obviously not neglecting his son.

“Yeah, I should.” Ed bent down until he was nearly an inch from Roy’s face. “Funny thing is, I don’t.” And then he pressed his lips to Roy’s and kissed him.

It was like falling, the way Roy’s lips felt against his own. It was familiar and soft and wonderful. He might have his heart broken again by this man, and he knew that, but damn it if he didn’t love him so much that he had to show him for once, just once, the world wasn’t going to punish him for his past. Even in spite of his own actions. He loved Roy, always had, and he would risk being hurt so that he didn’t see the older man suffer.

********

Roy didn’t know what to think. Really, he was certain his mind had completely shut off. It couldn’t make sense of it, why his former lover’s lips were pressed against his own when he’d hurt Ed so much, why Ed was kissing him when they should be looking for ways to help Liam—though a part of him suspected the blond was already ten steps ahead—why Roy had risked this all in the first place.

Then, Ed’s lips were gone and he was looking down at Roy expectantly.

“Why?” was all Roy could manage.

Ed shrugged. “Because I’m not a genius in everything, apparently.”

The young man was still so close that Roy could feel his breath against his cheek. And before he really let his mind get to work again, his lips were pressed to Ed’s once again, but it was his choice, not the blond’s. His hands were in Ed’s hair and he took what small comfort could be offered by having someone there who cared about him.