Trinity

-II-


If one grain of sand is equivalent to one second, then I
wake after twenty five thousand, two hundred granules have passed.
Trowa\'s still asleep, sprawled on top of me, legs entwined with my
own. The romantic in me tells me to shimmy back under the covers,
but my grumbling stomach is a better motivator, so I untangle myself
from him and start for the kitchen. My sulky lover grumbles but
doesn\'t even lift his head.

Although he\'s been forced to rise early for most of his
life, Trowa\'s definitely not a morning person. I kiss his temple
before abandoning him for food, delighting in the wave of Trowa\'s
sleepy-time emotions. Other than at orgasm, this is the only time
he\'s entirely unguarded.

My body is feeling wonderfully light this morning, so I
literally trot down the stairs and through the conservatory to the
kitchen. My estate here outside of New Kars is not as posh as my
father\'s mansion on L4, but it\'s clean and the simplicity suits me.
It\'s where I feel my most independent.

Coffee, for me, is a stimulant in all its states. And, while
the liquid is lovely, it\'s the smell that gets to me first. Coffee\'s
been made and, since I no longer keep servants on hand, I know who\'s
brewed it.

Even before I open my mouth in greeting, he shoves a mug
into my hands. Two cream, one sugar and just stirred enough to
marble the black with white. I take it and follow him into the den,
where he takes one end of the couch and I take the other, both with
our mugs, botellielling of sex, both poster children for the post-
war depression campaign. His hair\'s tousled, and he\'s wearing my old
satin pyjama pants along with a serene smirk.

I\'m probably wearing a matching one.

\"Heero, did you sleep well?\"

I\'m immediately bombarded with sensations- the channelled
lust, the voyeurism and the masturbatory release. I relive my own
release and Trowa\'s, all filtered through his perception.

\"So that means yes?\" I ask, shifting my weight from one sito tto the other in an attempt to slow the blood flow to my penis.

\"That first time he\'s back is always really desperate,\" he
murmurs, sipping. \"You act like virgins every time.\"

\"I forget how raw it is to actually experience it, as
opposed to channelling.\" I\'m not entirely sure of how to express
myself, so this is the best I can come up with. He nods.

\"I understand. I often forget how absorbing it is to
channel, as opposed to doing. . .it.\"

\" \'It\', huh? Is that how you refer to me when I\'m not in the
room?\"

We raise our heads in synchronization at the sound of
Trowa\'s remark. He\'s leaning against the doorframe, watching us,
wearing nothing but a short house robe. His notorious \'addict mug\'
is cradled in both hands, for such a massive cup of coffee is truly
a two handed weapon.

\". . .Quatre, I thought you were going to throw that thing
out,\" muses Heero.

\"I hid it,\" is Trowa\'sg reg reply. I sigh.

\"I\'ve been looking for that mug for three months, where did
you hide it?\"

Of course, he doesn\'t answer me. Instead, he takes the seat
between us on the couch and leans in to press a kiss to Heero\'s
lips. I watch them, quickly picking up their combined affection and
lust through our connection. Trowa pulls away before it can amount
to anything and stretches out over the sofa with his legs pinning
Heero to the cushions and his torso pinning me. Leaning back on his
elbows, he feeds his addiction.

The first time I explained my relationship with Troo
Do
Duo, he lectured me. He called me \"whipped\" and \"masochistic\" for
loving a man who spent most of his life wandering around the world,
searching for himself. I patiently sarougrough it, then pumped my
friend full of Irish coffee and cookies to induce grogginess,
otherwise he would have ended up repeating himself in full.

It wasn\'t until the second time he brought p thp that I told
him about Trowa and Heero and their bond. That conversation was much
more vehement and it took a significant amount of alcohol to curb
Duo\'s wrath. I. .. can\'t even remember most of the conversation. I
know it ended poorly, and I know I didn\'t express myself clearly,
but that\'s pretty much it.

Trowa called the next night- it was the only time he\'s ever
contacted me directly while away.

He told me he felt my pain and confusion from his hotel room
interdterdam. That alone justified my love for him.

I can\'t explain our relationship anymore than I can
verbalize the nature of my empathy. It\'s something that defies the
boundaries of time and space and the restrictions of the human mind.
He knows me deeper than I consciously know myself, I l I love him
for his acceptance and willingness to love me in return, despite it.

But, I know that doesn\'t explain his relationship with
Heero, or why I continue to dote on him despite his infidelity. Duo
thought me pathetic- weak and spineless- but he doesn\'t know. . .

I made Trowa a phoenix- I did. But I killed him before
knowing his hourglass would turn on itself. Intensified by the zero
system, my empathy drove me mad, and I was drawn to the one I would
need to eliminate to further my wayward ambitions.

The Heart of Space.

Unconscious as it was, I sought Heero\'s death. I could sense
him from across the void, and zero told me he needed to die for me
to reorder the chaos that was space. Heero needed to be eliminated
so the knot binding the space colonies would unravel. Only later in
Sanc did I realize it. I had told Heero to leave- to stay away from
me- but zero had known all along that he\'d refuse and challenge me.
What seemed so clear then was really a befuddling mess.

But then there was Trowa, and soon after there wasn\'t. He
sacrificed himself to re-set the order of space, and the act
succeeded as a pivot point.

That gesture has led to \"this\". . .whatever \"this\" may be. I
don\'t understand what he is to me, nor do I understand the true
nature of his relationship with Heero. As the Heart of Space, Heero
has the power to fascinate people-to draw them to him and understand
their motivations. Buried under all that conditioning is a power to
rival mine, and yet we are both rendered defenceless by a soft-
spoken messiah, anointed with the blood of my stupidity.

A gentle touch stirs me from my musings. Said messiah is
peering up at me, his fingertips pressed to my cheek.

\"You\'re too far away, Quatre,\" he murmurs, kissing my
chin. \"You need to stop going to that place.\"

His concern passes into me, but simultaneously I know my
thoughts are passing into him. He sees the truth in everything he
touches, which is a frightening skill for a killer to possess. I
wrap my arms around him fiercely and kiss his forehead, tasting the
salt on his skin.

\"What do you want for dinner?\" I quickly change the subject.

\"Don\'t worry- I\'ll make dinner.\"

\"Let Quatre make dinner, Trowa- I\'m not eating out of a can
tonight.\"

\"Then I\'ll make you oatmeal,\" Trowa smirks. The playfulness
isn\'t lost on Heero, but he disregards it.

\"No. If he doesn\'t mind, Quatre will cook. He has something
pld and anyway.\"

And I do. Not long ago, Dorothy gave me a recipe for a white-
sauce based mushroom Lasagne along with an unfriendly jab at my poor
culinary skills. Since then, I\'ve been awaiting an opportunity to
flex my culinary muscles and prove Miss Catalonia wrong.

\"Heero\'s right- I have a new recipe I\'d like to try out, if
you don\'t mind being guinea pig

\"Anything but grits and condensed soup,\" Heero gruffs.

\"When did you start eating for pleasure?\" teases my Trowa,
poking Heero in the stomach with his big toe.

\"Since I realized there were more tastes in the world
than \'bleh\'.\" Taking it as a cue, Heero kisses Trowa sloppily,
pressing him into my lap.

\"Mmm. . .\"The head in my lap smirks and murmurs a \"tastes
like \'bleh\'.\"

Heero snorts, grabs our empty mugs, and leaves for the
kitchen. Hentaintai coo cool façade, but he\'s chuckling mentally.

\"Troublemaker,\" I tease, holding my lover close. We enjoy a
few moments of stillness in the den, before I rise to my feet,
bringing him with me.

\"You want me to have a shower with you,\" he whispers.

\"Yes,\" I answer, \"that\'s exactly what I want.\"


We don\'t make love in the shower, but we indulge in some
soapy petting and deep kisses. cle cleansing ritual itself is erotic
with Trowa, as he takes great care with every part of my body,
massaging the soap into my skin with his bare hands. Washing his
hair is one of my favourite things to do in the world, and I take my
time with it. While I think he\'s beautiful no matter what, the
moment I push his hair back out of his face I\'m rendered
breathless. I channel that into him, hoping to prove his beauty to
him. He blushes faintly and quickly rinses the shampoo from his
hair, thus allowing his bangs to fall back into place. oughough my
comments embarrass him, I know he\'s pleased and feeling a bit vain.

Later, I go into town to the supermarket to buy the
ingredients for supper. After loading up my car with pasta and
Portobello mushrooms, and after a stop-in at Mr. Aman\'s for a bottle
of wine, I hurry home, already sick with Trowa withdrawal.

The ingredients I leave on the counter and the wine I put on
ice. I find the house terribly quiet considering there are three
current residents, but I quickly nd mnd myself that it\'s Heero and
Trowa, which justifies the fact.

They\'re in the den, lying near the hearth, talking quietly.
I don\'t disturb them- instead I linger in the doorway to observe.
My heart aches seeing them so intimate. Trowa lies on his back,
head propped up with a half-dozen pillows, his torso half covered
with Heero\'s. I watch Trowa\'s hand as it massages Heero\'s skull,
then Heero\'s catches my eye, drawing tender circles on our lover\'s
stomach. They emit an overwhelming stillness. I pick up the
conversation mid-way.

\". . .it gets cold when Quatre falls asleep. I can\'t feel
you anymore.\"

\"I\'m sorry,\" says Trowa, distant and thoughtful.

\"Don\'t apologize- it\'s no one\'s fault. I just wanted to tell
you that. Do you get cold?\"

\"Yes, I suppose I do,\" he whispered. \"It feels like he\'s let
go of me.\"

\"Do you feel like that when I go to sleep?\"

\"It is the same.\"

\"We feel the same to you?\"

\"Yes.\"

\"But you know we\'re different,\" Heero finds it difficult to
speak of this as he is even more mistrusting of his powers than I am
of mine.

\"Of course,\" Trowa replies with a shrug, \"You\'re not the
same person, but you feel the same inside.\"

No elucidation will come of this conversation- we still
can\'t verbalize our connection. Heero knows this, of course, but he
continues to gently probe Trowa for information.

\s ses sex feel the same?\"

Though it seems out of place, it\'s really not. Not long ago
Trowa was a veritable brick wall, save for at orgasm when his
emotions broke free.

\"The process isn\'t the same but the result is.\" Trowa
answers.

\"And the result is?\"

\"Elation. You know that.\"

\"Elation, huh?\" Heero bends down to place a gentle kiss on
Trowa\'s stomach. Even from my position I can see my lover\'s
anticipatory tremble. It makes his emotions- filtered through Heero
and my connection- all the more real.

And then they begin something I\'ve been observing for the
last three years, but have never been privy to see. My knees are
trembling and I find myself slinking to the ground, in the doorjamb,
with my hand in my mouth to stifle my whimpers.

After moments of lavishing kisses on Trowa\'s stomach, Heero
slides the linen pants down our lover\'s hips and out of the way,
releasing the shaft he greedily takes between his lips. I know from
our connection there\'s generally little foreplay- there\'s just
intensity and heavy panting.

Trowa gasps at the initial contact, jerking his hips upwards
to greet Heero\'s mouth. With a snarl Heero forces him back to the
ground, pressing his partner\'s hips painfully to the floor to
continue the ministrations in peace. My lover writhes in
frustration, bombarded with licking and suckling from a too-talented
mouth.

\"Heero. . .\"

With a jerk Heero thrusts his face forward, taking in
Trowa\'s entire length. The dark-capped head rises and falls between
my love\'s legs, and my love\'s eyes grow wide and clouded with lust.
The heat of Trowa\'s desire flows into Heero and then into me,
leading the blood to my growing length and shooting tremors through
my veins. With a whimper I unzip my pants and slip my hand beneath
all the fabric to take hold of my erection. My eyes are still
focused on Heero\'s undulating head and my ears on the whimpers drawn
from the act.

Suddenly Heero releases Trowa\'s cock and, grabbing my love\'s
hips roughly, flips Trowa onto his stomach. Fumbling around in his
pockets, Heero pulls out a tube and squeezes its contents onto his
fingers. As he firmly inserts them into Trowa\'s anus, I feel the
fullness and heat sympathetic in myself. I squeeze my erection and
increase the friction, revelling in the sensation of ghost-like
fingers stimulating my passage.

Wiping his hands on Trowa\'s flanks, Heero bends down and
slowly flicks his tongue over the tense bud. I jump at the
sensation, mirroring Trowa\'s outcry. I taste the cinnamon of the
lube and spicy salt of Trowa\'s skin, and feel his body quivering in
response to my. .. Heero\'s. . .exploring tongue.

Heero\'s tongue penetrates deeper, its stimulation aided by
his index finger. I can barely hear Trowa\'s panting over the
pounding blood in my ears. I take my length in one hand and massage
my testicles with the other. Leaning my head against the wall, I
bite my lip and watch Heero pleasure my hedonistic lover, whose
sensations are gloriously slamming into my mind.

In one swift movement, Heero turns Trowa around, rolls them
both over and pushes my lover down onto a neglected cock. Straddled
atop Heero\'s hips, our love sinks down, impaling himself without
conscious thought, driven by the erotic pull of Heero\'s power.
Moaning, Trowa arches back and starts to ride his partner, using his
elegant thighs to rise up and sink down. I can hear Heero\'s choking
groan, but the sympathetic sensation of Trowa\'s tight channel and
the sight of my uninhibited lover with another man sends electricity
shooting through my body. I rub up against the doorframe, searching
for extra friction. The friction increases in my mind when Heero
starts to massage the bobbing organ in front of him. I\'m vaguely
aware of them screaming out each other\'s name, but all I can feel is
the impending release and the electricity flicking through my
nervous system.

Then everything goes white.

In my mind\'s eye I see Trowa- riding me, panting and crying
out. My right hand is grasping his buttock, helping him gain
leverage, while my left is relentlessly milking him. His clouded
eyes, wet with frustration, grow large and his mouth opens in a
soundless scream. For a second he freezes, then comes hard in my
hand, clenching around me even as I thrust madly up into him. I
follow quickly, groaning as I empty myself into him. He collapses
against my chest, still skewering himself on my pulsating shaft. He
calls out my name:

\"Heero!\"

And then, I follow him back to reality.

I\'ve come all over my pants and the wall and am now
clutching at the doorframe for dear life. Not far lie Heero and
Trowa, tangled up and just as soiled as myself. A heavy sigh escapes
my love as he turns his head to meet my eyes. He genuinely smiles
and motions me over with a nod of his head. I rise on shaking limbs
and manage to stumble over to his side. The smell of the cinnamon
lubricant and their combined spiciness fascinates me, as does the
otherworldly sheen of perspiration on Trowa\'s skin.

Heero smiles up at me as I collapse beside them. He takes my
hand in his, giving it a small squeeze. Pressing a gentle kiss to my
lover\'s shoulder, I lean my head against his and bask in the glow of
our union.

Needless to say, dinner- which ends up scrumptious-starts a
little late that night.
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