The road to love

-Chapter two-

Crimson regret


(Kai’s prov)


A new day had arrived it had been over a week now since the world chapionships in which I had lost Dranzer. But thanks to that idiot known as Tyson, I had got her back. But still I felled lost, I had been having these dreams lately, they where hurting me every timwhenwhent to sleep these dreams where filled with pain and blood, my blood.

They Dreams where of the Abby they where not gust nightmares they where my memories resurfacing and I know it and it made me feel bad in side and I felt dirty. So I withdraw from my team as I always did I put my cold mask on ones again so that they would leave me alone.

I did not want them to know the truth about me and the things that Boris had done to me when I was in the Abby when I was a kid, those memories where painful to talk about.

Everyday I would leave at the same time to go practise alone and to think things out. Things about my past and my future lately I’ve been feeling extremely depressed and I had stared to cut my self deliberately to make my self bleed it made me feel good. The only over thing over than the cutting that bort me happiness was steering at that amber eyed raven Haird bisshonen known as Rei.

Rei was all ways so calm even in the deepest dangerous situations and he really lost his temper and he made me feel like I have never felt before, I did not care that he was a guy to I was in love at least I thought it was love. But I gust could not bring my self around tell him how I felt about him I didn’t want to get hurt. So I stared to ignore him and tried push him away hopping he would not bother me and make it harder for me.

It was getting close to dinner time so I picked Dranzer up and head back to Tyson’s where I had been staying lately I had no where else to go so I decided to tack Tyson’s offer even thou he annoyed the hell out of me. I sat down and got out a book and my mp3 player and lisand to tourniquet

I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
I lay dying
and I’m pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I’m dying praying bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side wil will you forget me

I had my music on low and I then heard someone come in I look up to see who it was it was Rei. I starred in to his amber eyes my hart betted faster the slits in his eyes narrowed I could see fear in those eyes was he afraid of me? Why would he be afraid? He left the room with out a word I continued to listen to my music.

I’m dying praying bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

I stopped my music there and headed to dinner then after dinner I excused my self and locked my self in the bathroom. I pulled out my pen knife and took one of my purple gloves of and cut deep into my skin letting the blood flow in to the sink I watched it pore down the drain I played the last part of my music as I cut my self again.

My wounds cor tor the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will I be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide

I washed up my cuts and cleaned the sink and changed in to my night clothes they werent much my boxers a T-shirt and my gloves to cover up my cuts. When I cam out I headed to the Dojo to set out my bed for the night I know Rei had followed my I simply ignored him and lay down and turned my music on to drown out Rei’s presents.

He had left now and had probably gone to get ready for bed I got fed up so I decide to go to sleep. Only to dream of the Abby ones again the beatings and the rape than I had received as punishment. I had only been 9 years old when I was first punished in this way and now I was relieving it again. The pain and the feel of his breath on my skin and his smell it was so real I wanted to cry. Then I herd someone singing and the nightmare faded away.

It was Rei singing, I had never heard him sing before it was so calming it was one of those songs out of thou Disney movies max enjoyed so much ked ked it he shopped and kissed me on my for head why he did that I did not know.

“Good night Kai sleep well no more tears.” Said Rei before head over to his bed

“ Good night Rei my raven angel” I whispered

TBC

Authors note: Music tournique by Evanescene thank you phoenix147 for suggesting it to me it was such a big help.