It's Just Emotions

Title: It's Just Emotions

Summary: Same as before.

Disclaimer: It's in the first chapter/prologe.

Pairings. Quatre/Trowa, Heero/Duo, Wufei/and some of the guys. (In case you forgot)

Warnings: This chapter contains sexual activity, the will be body cleansing and penis rubbing. So do read if you don't care for such things.

Author note: when I post it doesn't read italics, and I way too lazy tp go through my whole story and change things around, just know that the guys have their personal thoughts mixed into to when they descibe what's going on. Oh and I luv a review or two...just to what you think :D Oh and I began this story when I was 13, then my computer broke, now I'm 18, so don't be surpise if my writing changes drastically as you read further chapters.

Chapter 1
Attack! Of the Smelly Closet

Wufei's view

As the sun came up Heero and I just finished a discussion about what our options were and what we were going to do about them. So far we were stuck in this one room cabin, which did include a bathroom and closet. There is also one window by the door. The bathroom was sanitary from what I could tell, or at least the shower was. The closet on the other hand smelt as if it were used as the bathroom instead.

We also came up with some sleeping arrangements since there was only one bed, though it was a twin sized. We agreed since Trowa was wounded he would have the bed every night till recovery. (He got shot more then once) Everyone else would rotate in the same order. Quat had gotten the first night since he fell asleep next to Trowa long before we could decide anything.

Duo had also had fallen asleep long ago, and I think Heero was getting tried as well, if he even gets tired. I, however, was no where near being tired. Since the sun was coming up, I crawled on the floor a bit, just in case we were still surrounded. Either way, I took my chances, and peaked out the window. I watched and listened. Yet all I could hear was the squeaking of mattress while Quatre and Trowa moved around in the bed. The silence made me want to meditate for a bit, but before I could I had to relieve myself of my urinal duties.

I crept to the bathroom but it wasn't till I was inside, that the smell of the place and the sound of the shower going, began to ring in my ears. I didn't remember seeing anyone get up.

" Who's in there?" I asked, getting ready to fight if it was some kind of intruder. When there was no answer I approached the shower curtain, quickly drew it back, and stood in awe at the site before me.

Quatre's view

I slowly opened my eyes, it was quiet throughout the whole room. Last night’s events replayed in my mind. Mission, turned trap, turned into running spree, then the finding of the shelter. I remembered it all. I sat up, it was still kinda dark. I didn't hear the moment of anybody. What to do next, I didn't know. I looked down at my hands and noticed how dirty they had gotten during the escape. In fact my whole body was covered in filth. Through all the running I did, I had falling into mud, run into trees, and scrapped myself all over. I also had an odd odor emitting off of me. I perfer to feel clean, then again who doesn’t, but I just couldn't take this. I would take my chances with the shower Fei and I found last night. The smell really started getting to me so I climbed out of bed and tiptoed to the bathroom.

Once there I searched the wall for the switch, found it, used it, then glanced around the room. I saw a toilet, or what was left of it, it was rusted brown and for some reason a green color as well. I tried not to inhale the scent it gave off but it mixed with my own lovely one and I was comfronted with an impossiblity. I drew back the curtain that was barely hanging on to the bar above, there I saw that the shower wasn't half as bad as the toilet. it could be even be described as sanitary. I looked around and listened for the others, I didn't want to wake them with my shower sounds. Yet, I was beginning to feel nauseous by my own fumes so, I quickly undressed, started the shower, which was surprisingly quite, and stepped in. Not two minutes into it, I can hear the sound of the door opening. And the words "Who's there." But with my water filled ears I couldn't really recognize the voice. Yet, who ever it was, they didn't think I was responding to them fast enough. I saw a hand on the side of the curtain and before I knew it there stood Wufei in front of me. It happened so fast I had no time to cover up. I was so shocked that I forgot to.

I watched Wufei's eyes as they studied me up and down. His eyes widening with each inch that they moved downward. Then they slowly went back up until those black orbs met my blue ones. They stayed there as if they were expecting me to say something. I then had a flashback on the last and first time that Wufei had seen me in all my glory. (But that's another story for another time.) And now here I was just standing in front of him once again. There were water steaks where the water had run through my dirt caked body. I must have been an aweful sight to see.

Wufei then put the curtain back in place. When I thought he had left I continued with my washing, but I was only felt more dirty. Having Wufei see me this way...again... had gotten me so aroused that the warm water felt like icicles against my growing erection.

Suddenly, and as if in slow motion, I felt a presence behind me. An arm was placed around my waist, causing my to turn and meet my intruder. Only to once again meet the beautifully deep black orbs of Fei. Wufei had entered the shower and he had removed all his clothing as well. He took his other hand and started rubbing the dirt off my arm. (no soap, shampoo, etc.) He moved his hand from my arm to my chest, all I could do was watch his hand and see what it did next. I was like putty in his hands. He started rubbing my stomach with one hand , his other one was still on my waist. As his hand move downwards, my penis moved upwards, as if to greet his touch. I think I wanted to meet his touch. But visions of Trowa dance in my head. Yet, here in front of me was my teacher in the world of sex. My first. I couldn't say no. I didn't want to.

His hand made contact with my cock. He started rubbing it clean, but he was rubbing it slower and softer then he did my other parts. His touch only cause more throbbing pain mixed with shear pleasure to go to my penis. Wufei looked into my eyes and as if his could see some of the pain, a frown came to his features. Then he grinned as he knelt down before me. I could see what was happening, and I then felt it. The warmth of the water beating against my back and into my hair. The feel of Wufei’s mouth, no his tongue, wrapped around my penis. The two warmth fill me with desire, with pleasure, and with a want for more.

More I got. Fei began to suck. Ever so slowly at first, but then his intakes of me grew longer, and soon I couldn't hold it in any longer. I was gonna bust. But right as I could feel myself cuming for the second time in my life (with another person present), Fei stopped. He stood up, leaned into me, put his mouth to my ear, and as the water beat on our heads he whispered.
"
Not here, not yet." He then kissed my forehead and stepped out of the shower.

I heard him get dressed, shut the door. I couldn't hold my semen any longer so it all spilt out, down my legs, onto the tub floor and down the drain.

When I finished cleaning myself up. I got out, got dressed and walked out of the bathroom. I was mad I had let Wufei toy with my feelings and body that way. When I was once again in the larger room I saw the Duo and Trowa were still asleep, and Heero and Wufei were crouched in the middle of the room. They were silently arguing on who should go in and check around that awful smelling closet/room. So it seemed that in Wufei eyes, that I was already a thing to forget. He didn't look at me the whole time that I sat down next to the both of them. It was like I wasn't even there.

Heero’s view.

The night passed. Fei went over by the window, while the others slept. About five minutes later, Quatre got up. He walked into the bathroom. About two minutes after that, Fei went in. I was thinking of telling him that Quat was there already, but figured he'd find that out for himself. Yet, when Wufei didn't come back, my thought started drifting to other things. Things like what we were going to do tomorrow, and what could still be going on outside.

Now I don't know how, but somehow my thoughts drifted to Relena, like , what she was doing, how she was feeling, what she was wearing. Wait what! I tried thinking of the situation ahead after that. I looked around the room, my eyes landing on Duo's figure. Whenever my thoughts came to him, they would become somewhat confusing. I had mixed feelings all the time, when I was around him. I would constantly go from wanting him around me, to wanted him to be ten miles away. I also don't know what I would call him. A friend, no, Relena is like a friend. A comrade, no, that is what the other three are. Duo was more, but how much more and what that meant to me, I don't know.

My thoughts were interrupted by Wufei returning from the bathroom. He spotted me and came over. He nodded a hello and I did the same. When he was crouched right next to me he spoke.

"Have you figured out how to get us out of here yet?" He asked, his hair was wet and dripping, making the only other sound in the room. I shook my head. Although my survivor, soldier, instincts had come up with tone of ways for me to escape, I had come up with nothing for all five of us. Well, there were ways but Trowa's lack of health, seized them from working. Also as far as inventory went, from what I could tell we had three guns, two mags, and two gas bombs. I told Wufei all this, he sat quietly but he didn't seem to be listening.

"Is there anything useful in there." He asked, his head nodded toward something behind me. There there was a door, not the one that lead outside but anther one, maybe another room or a closet. I was going to see what it held when I first arrived, but when I had gotten close to the door, this horrendous smell came from it. Then the men from outside had seemed to be getting closer, and my mind forgotten about the door for the time being.

Until now that is. Crouching and walking at the same time I moved over to the door. Fei followed from behind. From the crack under the door that shitty smell came again. Like tons of 300 year old corpses, that were used for someones personal toilet about a year ago. My eyes started to water and sting as if I just took a whiff of month old cat litter. I tried breathing through my mouth but the stench stung my throat. The same thing was happening to Fei as we quickly crawled away from the door.

"What in hell is in there?" Fei asked as he held his head back letting the fresher air come to him.

"I'm not sure but we can't not check in there." I said.

"Your right, you head in and I'll be behind you." He said. The thought of going near that door again made my nose tingle.

"It would be unsafe for us to go in at the same time... you go in and then come back and report." I said, I watched Wufei’s face twitch. His eyes dropped to the ground and in a low voice he said.

"I sorry Heero, but I can't go in there, it.." He stopped trying to find words to fit how he felt. He didn't need to say a thing for I too had no desire to go into that room, but it had to be done, for it just could hold a way out.

"Heero, you go." Fei said.

"No, I told you to go."

"Just take a quick look into the room."

"You."

"Oh, just go."

"Nothing on earth is going to get me into that room." I stated.

"Oh, don't be such weakling, Heero." I got slightly mad at that last remark but then something moved in the corner of my eye. It was Quatre coming from the bathroom. He walked over and joined us. He nodded a hello in my direction and seemed to ignore Wufei’s presence all together. I also noted that Fei seemed to be doing the same to Quat. There was an awkward silence for a couple of seconds, but I broke it by telling Quat the current situation, he nodded his head in understanding but his gaze had seemed distant.

A couple of minutes later, Quat mumbled something about being tired and crawled to where the bed was. Suddenly we heard an "Ouch, watch the hair buddy." From a very tired sounding Duo.

"Sorry, Duo." Quatre said. Duo mumbled something else, then his figure rose up. He stretched his arms, and peered through the darkness. As he eyes adjusted he seemed to spot Fei and me. Even in the dark I could see a grin form on his face. Crawling over to us, he said.

"Is this some kind of secret meeting?" He asked as his grin grew wider. Fei had to smirk at this and I found myself growing a small grin. Only he can do that.

"We're trying to figure out who is going to check out that room over there." Fei said, nodding to the door behind him.

"I'll do it ." Duo volunteered. Wufei just gestured his hand at the door again. For some reason I didn't want Duo to go. The actual thought of him smelling that room troubled me. Why, I don't know. But I didn't do anything to stop him. At first I thought he would smell the room from outside the door and stop, but if he did, he didn't seem to care. He walked right through the door and shut it. A whiff of that Godd awful stuff came my way. I could feel my usually strong stomach, turn over.


Duo's View

The smell seemed unbearable, so I just held my breath. Yet when I got in the room and shut the door, my eyes started tearing up and my godd damn vision started getting hazy. The smell was beginning to make my whole face hurt, as weird as it sounds. The ground seemed squishy, soft and squishy. It was that very same ground that I landed on and it was the last thing I saw, before all I could see was darkness.

Wufei's View


It was less than minute when we heard the thud from the other side of the door. Before I could even react Heero was already at the door, and practically inside. When I did get there, Heero was trying to pick up Duo, stay down low, and not pass out from the smell, all at the same time. With my help we brought Duo back to the safety of the main room.
With the door now closed I thought we would be rid of that awful stench, but it seemed to have clung to Duo.

"So nothing on earth would get you in there, huh Heero." I grinned as I entered the bathroom to wash that crud, that Duo had been lying in, off my hands.

Duo’s view

Cold, ice cold, wet and cold. The feeling rushed at me so fast, my heart sped up, my breathing quickened, and my eyes shot open. When the terrible coldness subsided, I felt hands, warm hands, traveling up my back. I was in a sitting position from what I could tell. I couldn't see who was toughing me till I heard them speak.

"And go see if Quat would give up his pants, at least till his stuff is dry." Said Heero in a low voice. His statement woke me up even more. That’s when I discovered that I was butt naked. How? Before on the floor with clothes, now naked next to Heero. Nope, it just doesn't make since.

Then this weird but familiar smell came to me. It was the smell of that room. That disgusting smell, and what's this? The smell is now coming from me! I started uttering some sounds, to see if what was happening was real. I finally manage to say.

"Wha the hell is goin on." Or at least that's what it sounded like.

"You passed out when you entered that odd smelling room, so Fei and I got you out and now we're cleaning you up." Heero started scrubbing my arm, but said no more. He also didn't have his shirt on. I felt stupid just sitting there while my friend gave me a bath. Not to mention that the 'Perfect Soldier' that is Heero Yuy, was the one down on his knees coming to my aid.

Even with Heero’s warm hands scrubbing against my body I was still freezing, I tried not to shake to much, but my teeth got the best of me as they started to chatter. As if it could get any worse , Wufei came in, and I could see something in his hands and when he tossed them to Heero they turned out to be a shirt and pants. Heero put them down on the ground. He then turned back toward me and continued to wash me. Fei footsteps could be heard leaving, and then the door shut. My thoughts stopped as Heero stop washing. I looked up at him, I have never felt more hopeless. Why was he doing this, for me? Heero stood up I was ready to hear him say something like, 'You can do the rest yourself,' or 'Don't expect me to do this again.' But once again the perfect soldier surprised me. He turned the shower on and soon the water poured down on me. Now I'm sure the water was warm up top, but by the time it hit my skin, I wanted a fur coat. Heero put his hands on my head and I flinched in reflex to all the times that he had pulled my hair senselessly. Yet, I started to get a hair massage, I closed my eyes under the wonderful feeling. Then a groan, escaped my lips. Opps. Heero stopped moving his hands. I could feel his eye bearing down on me. This time I didn't shiver because of the cold.

"Your clean enough." He said. He got up and left, I sat there for a while. Not sure of what to do. Finally, I put on Heero's shirt, and Quat's pants, the yellow pants and green shirt were nothing like my usual darker wardrobe, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t match.

I shut the lights off and went outside. The darkness took me awhile to get used to but my eyes soon adjusted. I walk to one side of the bed and found the spot where I was resting before. I saw Heero's figure sitting against the wall in front of me. I went over and sat next to him. Although his eyes were closed I knew he knew I was there. I wasn't in the mood for jokes but I couldn't sleep thinking Heero might be mad at me.

"Thanks." I said. I didn't add a 'buddy' or 'pal' like usual. I wanted him to hear that I was grateful. It seemed to work. Heero open his eyes and looked straight into mine. He didn't say anything. He stared into my eyes as I stared back into his. I tried to find only what I have been looking for in those eyes since I first gaze at them. Emotion. There wasn't any. Well hate yes but sometimes Heero eyes showed no emotion, or they were there and I couldn’t figure out what they were. His eyes were like this now and I planed on gazing at them till his emotions shined though.


Trowa's view/dream

I walked out of the circus tent, tired from the afternoon performance. I walked along, to where, I didn't care. I watched the green of the grass turn into the whites of a sidewalk. The sounds of the tent turned into the songs of the birds. I ended up near a park. There in front of me, sitting with his eyes closed on a park bench was none other then Chang Wufei. I walked up to him and then sat next to him. His eyes open, looked in my direction, then closed again. I ignored the fact that he was ignoring me.

"Rough day." I said, I leaned back on the bench. Fei opened his eyes and looked me up and down.

"Do I know you?" He asked. Fei’s attempt at a joke.

"That bad." I said in reply. Fei looked confused.

"Who are you?" Fei asked. Now it was my turn to be confused.

"What's wrong with you Fei?" I asked. Wufei jumped up and pulled his sword like thing out and pointed it at my throat.

"How do you know who I am?" He said. I am now filled with fear and confusion. "Answer me!" He yelled. Okay now I am officially freaked out. I stood up calmly and then ran away. I run until I spotted Duo swinging on some swings. He is singing some weird song.

"What do you want.. I don't like you... Can't you get a clue..." He sang. I waved hello and he stop singing.

"Hey." He said. "Do you come here often?"

"Ummm.. no, Duo I don't." I said. Even Duo was acting strange today. Duo stopped his swinging.

"How do you know my name?" He asked.

"Duo, it's me Trowa, you remember ‘Trowa’ right?" Now I knew something was wrong.

"Ya, I remember Trowa, Trowa Barton right? Ya I knew him, but your not him." Duo said looking confused. But not as confused as I felt. Duo got off the swing and walked off. When I tried to follow him, but I ran into Heero instead.

"Heero something weird is going on." I stated. Heero eyes widened and he pulled out his gun.

"How do you know me?" He demanded to know. I was getting tired of this weird game that I seemed to be trapped in.

"Heero it's me, Trowa Barton, your friend." I said. I am getting more scared by the moment. Why can't anybody remember me!

"You are not him, Trowa Barton is dead, now tell me who you really are." Heero said in a more threatening voice. Dead! How can I be dead. Heero pulled back the trigger of his gun. I ran. While I run I can hear the gun shots in my direction. Then under a tree lays Quatre. I ran to him and once I reach him I can no longer hear Heero firing. The only thing that was in view now was Quatre in front of me. I was so confused and scared but I knew Quatre could help. He always did. I was so torn by the events of the day I broke into tears. I couldn't take this anymore. Quat looked up and came quickly to my side.

"Hey, there is no reason for tears." He said calmly. It was the same old Quat. Yet He seemed different, he seemed sad.

"My name is Quatre Winner, what yours?" He asked. I could do nothing but stare at him blankly. No. No. No. This can't be happening. Quat can't forget.

"No! Quat you know me. It's me ..Quatre.. I... Trowa Barton.. that's me." I said through tears. Quat's face sadden.

"I'm sorry si, I don't know you but I did know... Trowa. Here's a picture of him." Quatre pulled a picture of me, out of his pocket. It was me in the picture, though I looked older.

"What do you think I look like!" I yelled out of frustration. Quatre pulled out a mirror and handed it to me. I was almost afraid to look. But I did. I saw my half clown mask but it wasn't a half. It was whole one and it was covering my whole face.

I tried pulling it off but nothing worked. I screamed in pain as it felt like I was trying to pull off my own face. Then a blast of thunder made me stop.

I opened my eyes. It was all a dream. I was alive. I went to touch my face with my right hand to hopefully feel the skin that would be there but, instead, I couldn't move my arm. I lifted my head to see a platinum gold halo on top of my chest. I didn't need to feel my skin anymore. My biggest fear had vanished. Quatre was with me.

I wanted to touch Quatre ‘s head, just to see if he was really there. When I went to touch it though, his face moved, his head looked up and his eyes wandered till they met up with mine. I retreated my hand and looked at the sleepy looking angel. He gave me a wary smile. Then his eyes widen, as well as his smile. He snapped his fingers and mouth 'he's up.' to the air. When I tried to sit up to see who he was talking to, he put his hand on my chest and began to push me back down gently.

"What's going on.?" I half whispered.

"Shhh. Listen, you've been out for what Heero says has been a week. You were wounded, you still are, but your getting better much better." Quat said, "Right now we have to be quiet, last night we were real close to being found out and we don't want to take any chances." Quat said nothing else after that. He slid off the bed and I could hear him crawling to another part of the room. It was daylight so I could see the room pretty well.

Suddenly, I hear the rustling of leaves and the sound gets louder but the second. The word 'shit' is whispered by someone in the room, then Heero’s voice, whispering loudly.

"Get ready." Hands and feet crawling everywhere around me could be heard. Quat and Wufei came to either side of me. They started lifting me up. I was then pushed under the bed. Quat's face came next to mine, as he whispered quickly.

"Stay here, you'll be safe." He said.

"Don't forget me." I managed to say. He shook his head, then disappeared from my sight. I could just imagine, they all escape or are possible captured and I am still waiting under this bed.

But it didn't happen like that and I wish I were still under that bed. Shots were heard and I could see flames from where I was. Bodies slamming down to the floor. The sounds of struggle. I saw boots. Thick black ones. They walk up to the bed. They stayed there for what seemed like an eternity.

"There one more, under here." A cold voice said. My shelter, which was the bed, rose above me. I saw the the man with the boots. His eyes covered in shadow. Then there a bunch of the booted guys. They grabbed me, trying to make me stand, one squeezes a wound of mine and I yelped in pain and tried to get free. All it got me was the back of a gun to the head and blackness. Of course now that I'm awake, all I have is a pounding headache.

Quatre 's view

The light beamed so bright that it took about ten minutes until my eyes could finally adjust. I was laying on my back. I sat up to see my ankles chained to the floor. I tried yanking them off, but I failed every time.
Thoughts of what had happened swept in my brain. The people surrounding us and then breaking in our hide out. With what we have for weapons, I say we did pretty good at first. Heero shot all his targets down while Duo did kinda of the same thing. Wufei was kicking ass while I seemed to be just a diversion.
The battled moved outside, Trowa's whereabouts came back as I tried to make my way back in. I saw two men carry Trowa's body out and I screamed, this brought attention to myself and I was then knock unconscious.
I told him he would be safe, and now. The thought that Trowa might be dead brought tears to my eyes for the second time. The first time was back in the forest. I would never forgive myself if Trowa dies. He can't die. I love him.