Isn't life just a kick in the crotch

Chang Wufei POW
I don't think I have ever been so shocked as when Duo told me he was gay. I'm a bit embarrassed to say that my first thought was that it had to be something new, like twenty minutes kind of new. In my mind there just were no way that Duo could have been gay while we grow up. Absolutely no way. Because Duo was like the ultimate player. He always had a hot girlfriend on his arm. He was the one that whistled to the passing girls, that flirted non stop and had more sex then all our friends combined. His bedroom door might as well been a revolving door for all the girls that went trow it. But then, he told me that not only was he gay and had been so for the last ten years, but also that he had been in love with me just as long. Why didn't he tell me this before? We have known each other since like forever. I more or less had two mothers and two fathers growing up. So why didn't he tell me this? And how didn't I know? I thought I know him better then anyone, so how did I miss something like this? I wonder if his parents knows? Duo have always been close to them, so I have a hard time believing that he could keep it from them. Duo and his parents is not only close but also a lot like each other. The biggest difference has always been their love lives. His parents met like the first day of high school and have been just about married since then. Maybe that's one of the reasons that I always thought it was out of character for Duo to got through so many girls as he did. Considering he is one of the most reliable and loyal guys I have ever met. But when I asked him about it years ago, he simply told me that he hadn't found the right girl yet. But now I realize that he never expected to find one. It was all an act.

When I left him sitting in his apartment with his head in his hands, I was just so angry. Angry at him for not telling me. Angry at myself for not knowing. Angry at the world for putting us in this situation. But when I got home and had a chance to think it through, I got thinking about all those girls he went trough. How he never seemed to be able to find someone that was good enough to keep for longer then a few weeks. Now looking back I wonder if all that hunting... how much was just a smokescreen to hide that he was gay and how much was just because he had already found what he was looking for, just like his parents had. Only that he couldn't have what he wanted because, what he wanted... was me. Was it all because of me? Gods what a headache. It must have been hell for him, to see me practically every day, and still be there for me when I needed him. When my parents were arguing or if I needed to get away from someone I was mad at, I almost always went to Duo. Especially when it was about one of my girlfriends. Because Duo always gave the best advice... man, that must have been a kick in the crotch.

Then there was... that time. I don't like thinking about it. But I did end up in a...depression. I'm still not comfortable with it. Just hearing the word makes me feel weak like a stupid onna who starts crying over nothing. I don't know when it started, but I was sixteen when I started with the therapy and the pills. It was actually Duo who got me to acknowledge that something was wrong. He does have this way of knowing things like that. When he first broth it up I was to proud and more or less blow up in his face on how it was non of his business how I was feeling. But he just came back. Gods, I called him the worst of things and he still came back, over and over again. Until I broke down, hit him in the face, started crying in his arms and told him everything. He helped me through it and were there for me every steep on the way and I know I'm better today because of him. It's all thanks to him and I love him for it.

And when I was sitting on my bed thinking back, and that thought -It's all thanks to him and I love him for it- went through my head. It startle me and I started thinking. What was different between the love that I already felt for him and the love he obviously felt for me? And I was not just thinking highly of myself, assuming that he still was in love with me, I know Duo and I saw the look in his eyes when he told me. He is still in love with me.

And I do love him. He is one of the most important people in my life. But I am not IN love with him. But what was the differences? So, I tried to find out.

And that's how I found myself sitting in a dark movie theater next to my best friend. That in it self is not so strange. But the fact that we are here on a date is to strange for words. I can't remember ever being this nervous. Not even that time when I asked Sara Johnston out, only to get shot down in the middle of the school yard. Come to think of it, Duo was the one that made me feel better after that. Like always. I pray to whatever gods up there, that this will work. I really want to make him happy. I glance over to my right. Duo's eyes are fixed on the screen and I can fell myself relaxing at the sight. Duo getting lost in a movie is just so... normal. He always gets trapped in the story, no matter if it's a book, a movie or a old drunk telling him about when he won gold in the Olympic Games.

Back when we where kids we would build a tent in my room and we would tell each other story's. Duo always was the perfect listener, because he would get so into what you were telling him. He just loved all story's. That's probably one of the reasons why he became a writer.

Looking at him now I can see how right he was earlier. He is still Duo, nothing has changed. Not even his sexuality, it's the same as it was before, only that I know about it now. I wonder what would have been different if he had told me before.

I admit that I never really understood homosexuality. I still don't get it. I can't really say I'm homophobic, I just never been around many of them... non that was open any way. I came across a couple of them while living in New York. But they were all so over the top, that you just started thinking about them as a women in a male body. But Duo...Duo just don't fit into my view of how someone gay should act. Maybe he just thinks his gay... duh, idiot, yeah he just felt like alienating himself for eleven years because he thought it would be fun. I never knew I was this prejudiced. Stupid, stupid, stupid bastard.'

I started hitting my head against the back of the seat. Duo gave me a strange look and I could fell myself blushing. 'Thank the gods that it's dark in here.' I look over at the smiling face next to me.

Duo is leaning over to me with a twinkle in his eyes. "Let me know if your having a mental breakdown... I need a second to get my cell up so I can shoot it and put it on Youtube." he whispered.

"Bastard!" I hissed loudly, making few people nearby glare at us, with is making my blush even worse.

Duo shock in silent laughter.

"So you think that's funny." I say glaring at him.

Not giving Duo a chance to answer, I poke my finger into Duo's waist. I can feel myself grinning in satisfaction when Duo let's out a scream that might as well have been made by a ten year old girl. And then the war was on.

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"I can't believe we got thrown out of the theater." Wufei said as they were walking side by side down the street.

"Well if you hadn't pulled me of the seat-"

"You were going to stuff Popcorn down my shirt!"

"Well you started it!"

"I did not start it!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Haha! I got you to play the did-did-not game." Duo snickered and ducked a smack from the irritated Chinese.

"Duo! You childish baka. Stand still so I can beat that stupidity out of you!" He made a leap for his friend that where laughing like a loon as he started running down the street. They didn't slow down until they were standing outside Wufei's apartment. Wufei was breathless and could hardly stay on his feet. He glared in irritation at the braided man that was watching him in amusement as he calmly leaned against the opposite wall... breathing casually.

"Ba- bastard" He puffed.

"Hey, its not my fault that you're out of shape and can't run." Suddenly looking a bit awkward, Duo walked over to his panting friend.

"Thank you Fei, it was nice." He leaned over and placed a kiss on a smooth chin. With that, he smiled and walked away, leaving his dumbstruck date on his doorstep.
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Thank you Aniratac for all you help.