A Dream No Longer

Chapter Two: How?


It all seemed so simple. Edward placed a call to Hawkeye, he helped Roy pack the few things he had into his military issue bag, and they walked through the snow into town to the train station. The officer waiting at the platform seemed pleased to see them or rather pleased to know his trip hadn’t been in vain.

After boarding the train to Central with the day and half the night ahead of them, Roy sat back to enjoy the scenery as it raced by. He’d always liked seeing the land covered in snow. It was pretty and looked like a blanket of pure white. It was an overcast day, much to his relief; otherwise, he might have closed the curtains to keep the glare from his eye.

Ed had somehow obtained a first class, private car complete with a lock on the door and curtains over the door window. There was enough solitude, aside from Ed lifting the covers on the breakfast he’d ordered for them both, to make Roy’s cabin seem less than such.

“So, there’s coffee, juice, pancakes, eggs and bacon. I don’t know what you like so I went with the basics.” Ed chuckled lightly, “I was almost tempted to demand use of the train’s phone so I could call Mrs. Hughes.”

Roy tore his eyes from the window, “What makes you think she would know what I like for breakfast?”

“It doesn’t take an idiot to know the Hughes’ would have invited you to dinner. After all they gave me a birthday party when they didn’t even know me. Besides, you and Brigadier General Hughes were best friends.”

“Yeah, we were.” Roy said softly and turned his attention to back to the world passing. “Go ahead and eat your fill, Ed, I’m not really hungry.”

“Hmm… Well I won’t eat until you do. Didn’t want to say it before, but you’re looking thin.”

Roy sighed, “You’re going to an awful lot of trouble. Tell me, Ed, how did you come up with the funds for this little trip to drag me back to Central?”

“Oh, I had some savings left over. It might surprise you, but Al and I were pretty good at stashing my pay away in a private savings account in Central Bank. He didn’t remember anything about after I brought him back. It was still there a couple of days ago.”

The Flame Alchemist smirked and reached for a cup of coffee. “Really, and I thought all of your pay checks had gone to repairs, travel expenses, food, and research. I guess that explains why you asked for extra funding every so often.”

Ed grinned shamelessly, “We had to have something to fall back on.”

“Indeed, but spending it on me is hardly-”

“Just shut up and eat.”

Roy blinked a moment then smirked, reaching for a plate and fork. “Alright, Ed. If it makes you happy but you should know, I’m not really a breakfast person.”

Ed got up long enough to put a lap try over his legs then flopped down.

“You don’t have to do everything for me either.” Roy muttered. “I am self sufficient.”

The young alchemist merely shrugged and dug in with more manners than Roy had seen him use. Still, Edward ate much too quickly. Shaking his head, Roy pacified the expectant look on Ed’s face and ate his breakfast. He didn’t touch the pancakes though and handed them over.

Once breakfast was over and the food cart taken away, Ed locked the door and drew the curtain over the door window.

“So, you want to tell me why you demoted yourself and put distance between you and everyone who cared about you?” Ed asked quietly, sitting down across from him.

“How did you get back here? Where did you go?” He countered.

“Well, this will get us no where fast. Come on, Mustang, give me something. Was it…”

Roy shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t want to talk about it; he didn’t want to even remember. Certainly Edward had seen worse, had experienced worse and perhaps he wasn’t being fair, but he just couldn’t.

“Partly…”

“And the rest?”

“Does it matter?”

Ed shrugged, “Equivalent exchange. You tell me the things that happened on your end and I‘ll tell you what happened on mine.”

Always the alchemist… “I don’t mind not becoming Fuhrer, Edward. The position is gone and with it my goal.”

“I wouldn’t say that. Sure the position of Fuhrer might be gone but there is still a seat of power between the Military and Parliament.”

Roy knew that, but he highly doubted he would ever attain that position, after everything, even if he was reinstated in his prior rank there were still many questions he’d avoided and left unanswered. The higher ups wanted information and that kind of information he wouldn’t give since most of it concerned Edward. Things might have changed but they hadn’t changed that much.

“And the rest?” Ed coaxed. “Does it have something to do with Hughes?”

Roy nodded and the private car filled with guilt, enough to suffocate. It stemmed from them both. “He wasn’t supposed to die. I can’t help feeling that if he’d just told me… It should have been me, Ed. He had a wife and kid.”

“And he was a soldier just like you. If anyone is to blame here it should be me. Al and I tried to keep information from him to protect him.”

“And he dug too deep after you left. So Bradley had him killed.” Roy finished. “Marcho was killed because he knew too much and refused to create the philosopher’s stone.”

“What about Archer?”

“Hawkeye took care of him after I was shot.” Roy replied and folded his arms over his chest. “As far as we know, the auto-mail mechanic who built his body was killed as well.”

“Was it Bradley or Archer that did that to your face?”

“Archer. There’s too much damage for it to have been Hawkeye. Besides, she rarely misses and is a clean marksman. She was aiming at him, not me.”

“And Bradley, how did you destroy him?” Ed asked quietly.

“Using his skull. Apparently he entrusted it to his son although I doubt his son even knew what was in the bag he was carrying…” Memories flooded him, memories he didn’t want to remember. “Ed… I can‘t-.”

“Yeah…” Ed replied softly, “It’s okay; it’s my turn anyway…”

It really was and as much as Roy wanted all the details of the night Edward had disappeared, he didn’t think he was going to get them today.

“Al died and restored my limbs. Scar made the philosophers stone inside him.”

“I know, well not about Scar’s involvement. I had a feeling, but never knew for sure.” Roy said.

Ed nodded, “Even though we tried to hide it, I figured you’d figure it out. Anyway, I brought Al back using myself as material. It’s complicated but I ended up on the other side of the Gate... My Dad was there and I lived with him while I did research and tried to find a way home. It wasn’t until a few months ago when an organization called the Thule Society tried to come here and use our world for their war, or rather the chairman in charge actually wanted to destroy our world at the same time Al was trying to open the gate to get me back home. That was when I was able to come through. You know what happened here and that Al and I went back to keep them from trying again.”

Thule? Roy didn’t like what he was hearing. Unsettling as it had been to see machines that flew across the sky with weapons and walking suits of armor carrying crushed bodies inside, the thought of someone trying to destroy or use his world for their own ends was worse. Walking suits of armor didn’t bother him, at least Al hadn’t but after seeing what had happened with who ever had been inside the suits that had come through… Roy pushed it aside.

“Why our world?”

Ed shrugged, “Eh, they wanted to create an Arian race of blond haired-blue eyed ’pure’ people like some race on some mythical island. I didn’t really pay too much attention to that nonsense, just what they were trying to do. Any way, alchemy doesn’t work over there, not really. It works with a blood sacrifice… The gate on their side opened because my Dad… He died to get me home.”

On one hand he was glad Ed didn’t seem to hate his father anymore, on the other… Roy sighed, “I’m sorry, Ed.”

Ed went on with a hand wave of dismissal, clearly not wishing to touch on that subject at the present. “Al and I accomplished what we set out to do there and found a way to close the gate on that side, breaking it from the inside and managed by chance to open one on this side in a different place. It was risky, but we did it. We broke that one too so no one could use it. Then we headed home and now I’m here.”

“And you want your old job back and apparently like me.” Roy added, “That’s quite a tale there, Ed.” And it had come out so easily almost as if Edward had thought it through and picked and rehearsed exactly what he’d wanted to say.

“It’s true,”

Roy smiled, “I don’t doubt it.” He let out a sigh, wondering what to say next. They’d had conversations together before but nothing really personal. It wasn’t as if they had sat down to play chess and had small talk or developed much of a friendship. In fact, most of their time before had seemed to be filled with tid bits and hints of information, briefings and debriefings, Ed’s rants, his jokes and comments about Ed’s height or other such things to get a rise out of the kid.

There had been a few times where he’d met Ed in the East City library to show the boys something he thought might assist them. He’d taken Ed to get some new clothes once after he’d seen the worn condition of those Ed had. The blond had protested, insisting that he could fix them with alchemy, but Roy had won with a threat.

The Flame Alchemist had kept as close of tabs on Ed and his brother as possible, slipped into the East City infirmary if Ed had gotten hurt while on assignment at night to check on him or sit at the bedside. Of course this had always been after he’d yelled at the kid to be more careful earlier in the day. He didn’t know if Ed knew about those times or not. Al had known but as far as he knew, the younger brother hadn’t uttered a word about it to Edward.

And then, after Edward had disappeared and Alphonse appeared as a little boy in a human body, he’d kept tabs on Al from afar. He’d done it out of personal need; out of obligation to Edward for it was he who had opened the door for the boys.

Despite some of the dreams he’d had about Edward, as alarming and puzzling, and frustrating as they had been, it was startlingly peculiar that he should show up, allow kisses, give him a letter, and convince him to return to Central.

“You said there were other letters.” He said finally.

Ed nodded, “They’re in Central.”

“What are they about?”

“If I told you, you wouldn’t read them.” Ed almost huffed.

“I’ll read them, I’m just curious.”

“What’s this haunting business you were talking about? I got the impression that you’ve had dreams about me. What sort of dreams?”

Roy’s brow perked as Ed’s face flushed. He looked… pretty, almost innocently bashful. “I thought you didn’t want to know.”

“You think I didn‘t hear things while working for you before? Who knows what your perverted mind cooked up.”

Perverted? Roy wouldn’t say he was perverted more like romantic with a definite interest in the world of kink. “I always handled the women I dated like a gentleman.”

“Was that before or after you slept with them?”

Roy couldn’t help but feel a little offended and somewhat taken aback. “Are you jealous Ed?”

The young man made a tch sound and crossed his arms over his chest along with one leg over the other.

“You are,” Roy said with a smile, “If it makes you feel better, I haven’t dated anyone in years.” This still felt so peculiar. Clearly Edward, liked him, liked him enough to get jealous over girls from over three years ago. It was warming.

“Do you like me?” Ed asked finally.

“I’ve always liked you, Edward. You’re a very amiable person.”

“You know what I meant.”

Roy let out a strained sigh, “I have always liked your tenacity. There is a sense of honor and duty about you… Come here, Ed.” The blond eyed him for a long moment, his face calculating and indecisive, but finally Ed crossed the space between them and sat beside him.

The Flame Alchemist hadn’t forgotten the days when Ed was young and skittish, when he’d not liked to be touched and so he was mindful of it now. Still, he dared to touch Edward, lifting his chin so he could peer into the depths of gold.

“I never liked sending you on assignments. You and Al were just kids. I have always understood why you needed to go but I didn’t like it. I never liked looking over the medical reports and many times I thought about putting an end to your career as a State Alchemist but I always knew if I did, you’d do everything on your own. It was bad enough as it was, I don’t even want to think of how much worse it could have been if I had cut you off.”

Gently, he pulled the hair tie from Edward’s hair, running his fingers through golden locks he’d never thought would feel like silk. Women had soft hair because they knew how to take care of it properly but Ed? He smiled wondering if it smelled as nice as it felt. Exploring that would have to wait, he thought as he centered his attention on the person who owned such hair. Again he was surprised at how close Edward was letting him.

Edward’s face had always been attractive, his eyes liquid gold powered by a beautiful personality. Ed’s body, while he’d seen it, it had been that of a boy and not a man. He had to wonder what new features it would hold.

He’d expected something to come from Ed’s mouth, some retort and yet there was nothing but an air of uncertainty and expectation.

Roy pressed closer, tilting his head to the side, “You have grown into a handsome young man, Ed.” He breathed then slid his lips over the younger alchemist’s. “I had dreams I shouldn’t have had of you and nightmares in which you were lost to me forever.” He kissed Ed again, this time with a desperate need to know this was in fact very real and not just another of his dreams.

He felt Ed’s hands on his shoulders, one metal and the other flesh, the hesitation within them. He shouldn’t push them along but like Edward, at least for the last few years of his life, he’d let not one close enough to touch him, and so he craved more of what the young man was giving.

“It isn’t a game, I have feelings for you,” He breathed, cupping the back of Ed’s head and slipped his free arm about the boy’s waist to bring him closer. Edward’s arms hugged his shoulders and the blond opened his mouth to him. Roy took such an opportunity to explore, to tease, and to suck gently on Edward’s tongue.

Ed let out a whimper, soft and sweet, and Roy answered with a soft moan of his own, deepening the kiss, letting his emotions show themselves through his lips. When Edward touched his tongue to his, in experimentation of course, Roy nearly crumbled. And as Edward’s experimentation turned more toward exploration, the Flame Alchemist found himself tugging and pulling until Edward straddled his lap. Still he held Ed, still he kissed him, but the time for kissing was done. It was too soon to let it go past the point of no return. Roy had many great regrets in his life; he would not let getting ahead of themselves be another.

Slowly, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Edward’s.

“W-why’d you stop?” Ed asked just above a whisper, his breath faster, more shallow.

“Don’t you think it would be best to take this slower?” Roy asked more for his sake than Ed’s.

“I feel good when you kiss me.” The young man admitted with blush-tinted cheeks. “I didn’t think I’d get to feel what it was like to kiss you. I like it. I like it better since you shaved.”

“Well, I’m glad,” Roy said with a half smile, still he was incredibly nervous. This could go very wrong very quickly. “Ed, we could do more than kiss, but that I will leave up to you.”

Ed seemed to ponder that for a moment, “Fine, I want you to kiss me again. Just kissing.”

Who was he to argue? Roy wondered only this time he let Ed lead then pulled away with a frown, “You kiss like a virgin.”

“Yeah, you kiss like a slut, do you hear me complaining?”

His eyebrow twitched, he wasn’t a slut. That had to be an assumption. “Don’t tell me you spent all these years away and never kissed anyone.”

“Shut up,” Ed muttered and turned his face away in embarrassment. And there was Roy’s answer.

“You know, you’re awfully cute when you blush.”

“Bastard,”

Roy chuckled as he rubbed his hands along Ed’s toned back. “That’s alright, Ed, you’ll learn. It just takes practice.”

A frustrated sigh left Ed’s lips, “Then what are you waiting for, Mustang? I want to get good enough to make your knees weak.”

For a moment Roy wasn’t sure what to say but a delighted smile slowly spread over his face. So Edward had more than one goal. Interesting.

“Do I make yours weak?”

“Damn it,” The younger Alchemist hissed and kissed Roy a bit feverishly with a hint of annoyance that bordered dominance.

Roy might have given into Ed’s passion, the passion he had held locked inside for so long, but he wanted to do this right. He wanted Ed to know what… real love was. Most of all he didn’t want Ed to think he was just another. So he gently pushed the young man away.

“Take it easy, Ed, there’s no need to rush. You aren’t going to disappear again.”

“No, but I don’t know if you’re going to stay in Central.”

Roy cupped Ed’s face in his hands, “We will see.” It was the best he could give him. “Do you really want to be a State Alchemist again?”

Ed shrugged but didn’t move off his lap. “I don’t know what else to be, I guess.”

If that was what Ed wanted, what his decision was, he could honor it, respect it, and do his best to keep the higher ups off the boy’s back. Certainly, if they managed to get their ranks back, there would be a catch. The Generals would want information, explanations, and while he’d done his best to clean up the mess they would be at him and now Edward.

Yet, somehow Roy had a nagging feeling that this was some elaborate scheme Ed had planned. He’d never known Edward to do anything without reason and while not particularly devious (well, he was but not completely) there was definitely something going on here. That was alright; Roy would play along and winkle it out of him at the right moment.

With a smile, he let his hands fall to Edward’s arms, rubbing them. “So about those letters.”

“Jeeze, can’t you wai-” Roy silenced him with a kiss, avoiding the budding temper tantrum. They must be something, these letters, for Ed to get so cute and worked up about. Well, he didn’t figure Ed would ever be the kind of person to just be able to easily come out and state feelings that were so personal. He must have put a lot of effort and feeling in those pages.

“I’m looking forward to them.” He replied, still a bit uncertain of what to make of all of this. Only time would tell.