I wish I were you
More confessions
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21. More confessions
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Quatre was
blankly staring ahead of him. His hands and mind were working separate from
each other. His hands were wiping glasses dry, his
mind was, amidst his dumb love for Duo, silently hating the boy. That slip of
the tongue he’d made just now, d
over you and… That had been extremely
reckless of him. Ever since the topic of the vodka had come up, he’d been
holding his heart that Duo wouldn’t remember how they’d been using all of it,
and if he did, not to open his tell-tale mouth about it. But he had. Only for a
moment, only one stupid slip of the tongue, but it had been enough to ignite a
fuse, and now it was only a matter of time until everything would explode.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>Perhaps he’d better confess everything to Trowa
right now. It was already too late anyway. He’d seen the light bulb going off
in his head, connecting all the facts to one conclusion. All he would still
need to be sure was Quatre’s own horrible,
devastating confirmation. But he dreaded his reaction. He knew it wouldn’t be
just surprise. Oh no. It would go farther than that. But… how
far? They were only friends, right?
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>But god… what was he thinking now? He would be crushed. To know that
his dear little friend was capable of such a low, foul act. He would be
emotionally destroyed, and their friendship, the bond they had, would be
history.
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Quatre.”
italic'>
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Huh?” Quatre jumped awake from his disputing thoughts and looked up in
the gentle eyes of his friend, though they held a peculiar edge to them now.
“What is it, Trowa?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“You already did that glass.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Oh… I did?”
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Yeah.”
italic'> Trowa sighed, and he took the glass from Quatre,
as the boy seemed lost about what to do with it. “Here, I’ll take it.” He made
to set the glass on the shelve, but turned back to
Quatre, stopping him when he reached for another wet glass. “Quatre, is there
something wrong?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>Quatre shrugged. “Why would there be something wrong?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“You like doing the dishes that much that you’d wipe the same glass
twice?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“I was just distracted for a moment.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“No Quatre, that’s not it.” Trowa took
meet his eyes. “I know that you’re hiding something. What Duo said just now
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>Quatre bit his lip, like a child, trying to deceive him like a child,
but he knew it wouldn’t work. He would find out sooner or later. What was he
ever thinking he could get away with it? Then wouldn’t it be better if he told
him personally? “You’re right, there is something I
need to tell you.” He gently pulled Trowa’s hands
down from his face, took a deep breath and lowered his eyes, unable to look at
him while he would say it.
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Trowa
italic'> closed his eyes, as if they would shut the words Quatre was about to
say out of his ears. “What do you have to tell me?” And yet he heard them,
burning on his eardrums, so painfully.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“I’m in love with Duo.”
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“What?!”
italic'> Trowa heard a shattering sound. For a
moment, he thought it was the sound of his heart slamming to pieces. With
stupid, glazed eyes, he looked down to his feet, and saw that in reality, it
was the glass he’d been holding. He’d dropped it. “Shit!” He quickly dropped to
his knees and started collecting the broken pieces. He’d been shocked by
had slept with Duo last night. Which was also bad. But
that would only have been sexual relief, nothing more. But no, he was in love
with him. In love! He had feelings for him; his suspicion had turned
into reality.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>He wondered why it shocked him so much, while in fact… He had known it
for a very long time.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“I’ll help you,” Quatre offered.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“No, it’s okay!” Trowa barked,
keeping his eyes focused on the broken glass, not wanting his friend to see his
forming tears. But Quatre had already kneeled beside him with a dustbin. “
and sharply pulled away from one of the fragments. Deep red started to bubble
on his finger.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Careful, Trowa,” Quatre said. “Let me see.”
He took Trowa’s hand, his soft fingers making the
torture a tangible thing, and looked at the injured finger. “It’s not that
bad.”
No, not that bad as the imaginative punch in the stomach
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“You’re gonna stain your clothes,” Quatre said. “Here, let me…” and he
gently started sucking on the finger.
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Trowa
italic'> failed to hold back his moan of pleasure and misery at the wet
contact.
Just licking the blood off, just licking the blood off!
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>his mind screamed at him. But that wasn’t what his
heart, his style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>cock
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>told him. The damp and aching feeling in his groin
was undeniable and unbearable.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Does it hurt, Trowa?” Quatre asked, in all
honesty not having a clue what Trowa was really
picturing in his mind.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Uhm… Well,” Trowa
stammered.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>Quatre let out a sound of sympathy, and again took Trowa’s
finger in his mouth, his tongue moving in much the same way as it would over
that treacherously stirring body part between Trowa’s
legs. His cock knew no mercy.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>His hands acted quicker than his mind could think, and before he was
conscious of it, Trowa had forced Quatre’s
head up to his mouth and hungrily kissed the startled blonde’s lips. He pulled
away again, and everything came out, in sobs and hiccups, his agony no longer
contained, but streaming down his cheeks. He felt his lips forming the words,
heard himself speaking his desires. He heard how impossible, pathetic, platonic
it all sounded. But it felt like he wasn’t really saying those words, like some
other Trowa controlled what he said, and no matter
how hard he kept on screaming to stop, that other Trowa
just kept talking and talking and…
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>Until a sudden sharp sting on his cheeks brought him to an abrupt halt.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>Quatre had hit him.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“What are you saying, Trowa?” Quatre hissed.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“I’m saying that I love you,” Trowa said,
perplexed. He couldn’t believe Quatre’s eyes could
ever be as cold as they were now. As if the liquid ocean blue of his wide
irises had frosted over. The air around them suddenly felt heavy, like that
time when he’d sat on his bed with him, but much worse this time,
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“No.” Quatre shook his head, his eyes sad now. “Why do you have to make
everything complicated now? I only just told you I’m in love with Duo.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>The words sounded unearthly to Trowa. He knew
he could’ve been expecting them, but now that he heard them, he couldn’t accept
them. Not Duo! Who was making things complicated here? Duo was with
Heero!
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>He felt a sudden uproar in his stomach from all the butterflies that
lived there, but they didn’t tickle anymore. Their wings had turned into sharp
razors and he felt them almost physically cutting in his insides, fluttering up
his lungs, constricting around his throat, untill he
found he could hardly speak anymore.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Quatre,” he whispered hoarsely as he watched the boy turn around the
counter. He followed him.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Don’t follow me,” Quatre tried to snap, though Trowa
had heard the sob in his voice, and he did follow him.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Don’t follow me!” Quatre repeated, firmer this time, turning around.
“I’m sorry, but…I just don’t love you. Not like that.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Quatre…” Trowa whispered again.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Don’t follow me.” And Quatre left the bar.
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Trowa
italic'> covered his eyes. He had not seen this coming. He felt his feet
staggering, and he dropped himself on a barstool. His arms fell on the
countertop, his head fell between them. He felt something starting at the back
of his throat, and he rumbled, groaned, screamed out his agony.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>Quatre sat huddled up on the couch in the lounge room. He shuddered
when he heard the scream. Almost immediately after, he heard a jumble of feet
on the stairs. Of course, his worried friends.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>They spilled into the room, all four of them, as if they had internal
radar systems to pinpoint where he was. A barrage of questions was sent his
way, which he replied to with one quite simple answer:
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“I don’t want to talk about it.”
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Silence.
italic'> Quatre counted the seconds until they would start again. It was four.
Well, three and a half actually. His eyes were fixed on the table top. There
was dust on it. He’d need to wipe that off. Later.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>His head started to hurt, and he raised his hand, softly rubbing his
temple. He sighed while he waited for the noise of their voices to stop. It
didn’t.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Shut up!” he yelled.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>They did shut up. Quatre yelling like that was something worth shutting
up for.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“I said I don’t want to talk about it! If you must know, then go ask
room and up the stairs.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>~*~
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>Quatre fell backwards on his bed, naked after a shower, in his ‘new’
room. It was
italic'>11 p.m.
fiasco downstairs. He had skipped dinner. He hadn’t been hungry, still wasn’t.
He hadn’t bothered moving the rest of his stuff to his new bedroom. He’d do it
tomorrow. If he felt like it.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>His clothes lay in small heaps on the floor, all of them. Maybe he’d
sleep naked tonight. The sheet caressed his back, his ass. He rather liked it.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>And there was silence! Ten minutes ago, he’d heard Heero and Duo
clambering up the stairs, acting ridiculous, as usual. He knew they were in
their room, and he had a strong suspicion of exactly what they were doing
there. But he didn’t hear a thing! Wufei had been
exaggerating when he said he could still hear them, even with earplugs. Or
maybe they just hadn’t started yet.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>And for a brief moment, he thought he might sleep well tonight. But the
moment he’d crawled under the sheet and closed his eyes, he knew that, even now,
that wasn’t going to be the case. His lips still felt that kiss, behind his
closed eyelids, he still saw those green,
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Trowa,” he sighed. “Why did you have to make
it so complicated?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>He shook his head and violently turned around. The kiss was still
there, and so were the eyes.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>Something told him this was going to be a long night.
To be continued…
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Next chapter:
This time, it gets out of hand.
Preview:
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Wufei
italic'> bit his lip and sucked his fingers, panting with anticipation. He
spread his legs, wide, and angled his hips just enough for his finger to slip
inside. Smiling with bliss, he let his head fall back against the thin wall.
The sounds at the other side were still very stimulating. He heard Duo giving a
little shriek of joy, for whatever reason.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Damn, was that Duo?” Zechs said.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Yeah,” Wufei sniggered. “Noisy bastard he
is.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Oh, but I’m quite sure I could make you just that noisy,”
back to his husky, lascivious tone. “I want you to fuck me, Wufei.
Really, style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>really
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'> deep! Ah… Uh!”
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Wufei
italic'> frowned. That last moan sounded… intense. Interesting.
He thought he could hear a slight buzzing too. “What are you doing?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Uh… I’m using a vibrator. I’m… pushing it in. Feels
fucking amazing!”
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Wufei
italic'> hissed and closed his eyes, his fingers moving faster and deeper,
felt his toes curling at the thought of Zechs with a
vibrator up his ass. “God Zechs…” The sound was low
and guttural. “You make me so
mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>!” The hand on his cock started moving, feverishly,
in rhythm with his fingers. He could almost feel Zechs’
body heat on him!
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>“Don’t you have a toy… honey?” Zechs’ voice
was strained. Gasping, sighing. Wufei smiled.