The Meaning of Pride

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Time
for the warnings portion:

A.     
I own nothing but my own two hands.
All the characters portrayed here were kidnapped from their show DBZ and
forced to enact my wishes.

B.     
Whilst mostly I strive to make this “in character” and not “AU” we must
all remember it is fanfiction. (I’m
getting a bit snotty here, aren’t I?)

C. sp;&sp;   
Smut. Vegeta POV.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Slash.
(That’s two boys bumping uglies, by the way.)

D.     
If you didn’t read the warnings, you are on your own I have no sympathy
for you.

And
lastly:

style='mso-tab-count:1'> Got this idea off the DBZ Saiyan
Slash mailing list. Will probably be
posting it there and at AFF.net

~~***

Stop.
Wait.

Slow down.

He stared down at the back. Smooth skin. Pale and
flushed. Slick and shining.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Watched the muscles dance as they twitched
and tensed and he tried to breath.
Couldn’t. Couldn’t freaking
breath. Watched the head fall forward,
the endless cascade of inky black hair.
Thought that this was wrong. Too
wrong. Insanely wrong.

He was idiot to think he could be inside this body,
to think he could push into Kakarot and not want to hurt him.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Not feel this need to dominate, to hurt, to
pound into him until he, Vegeta, was howling with triumph that he had reminded
the idiot just which one of them was the dominant. Draw blood and cries and prolong the agony of pleasure and pain
until he decided that Kakarot should come.
Because he was fool. Because he
had thought that just for a moment he was stronger than the impulse to destroy.

No.

Stop.
Wait. Slow down.

He had been sparring with the boys when Kakarot
disappeared. Just like that.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> A blink and his (Lover, room mate?style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Intended?
Fuck buddy?) disappeared. Was
gone for too long. Made him angry and
nervous, and he had gone to where he had disappeared from, waited until he
reappeared with his wimpy son looking like he had just sobbed on his poor
mommy’s shoulder. Saw the sneer of the
boy, and heard the words: “I still don’t like you.” Good. Vegeta didn’t like
the twit.

But the anger was gone, there was just tiredness, and
Kakarot had suggested they leave Gohan alone and go back to the house.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> So they had. Come back to their home, where none of the shit of the outside
world invaded. Found their way to the
bedroom. Naked, kissed and ground
against each other until they were panting and whimpering.

And Kakarot offered.

Like an idiot.

And Vegeta thought that maybe he could handle
it. Maybe he could feel what it was
like to be part of his lover without needing to hurt him.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> But he was wrong. The urge was there.
Strong. Stronger than him.stylso-sso-spacerun: yes"> To claim and humiliate and dominate.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Like he had Radditz.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> But then, Radditz had understood that the
fever would pass, that Vegeta was truly better than he was, that he had been
defeated and the prize was claimed so the fever had passed.

Kakarot was better.
Some how. Better.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Foolish.
But better.

Still, his hips thrust, and roanroaned, tightened his
hands on those hips. Held them still as
he pushed into Kakarot, wanted to growl, to scream, to crow out his
triumph. Beared his teeth and watched the
muscles twitch on the long back before him.
Panted and wondered how he was even still conscious if he couldn’t even
fucking breath. Wondered if Kakarot
could handle all of him. Even the deep
dark parts of him that nobody had ever withstood.

Made himself stop.
Pulled back, like he had been burned.
Maybe he had been. That was how
hot Kakarot was. How untouched and
damned virginal. Because he was.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Had been.
Should have been a virgin, but Vegeta stole that.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Kakarot turn himself over, watched him settle onto his back and stare at him
with those coal black eyes that glittered in the dim light.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Watched his lover (yes, that was what he
was) pull the pillow from under his head to put under his hips, felt himself
being drawn back in. Closed his eyes
when the intolerable furnace of Kakarot’s body enveloped him.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Thought—insanely—that he should have known
Kakarot would take in all of him.

Opened his eyes and looked at Kakarot, at his
erection that was furiously erect and red and he wrapped his hand around
it. Stroked it until the whole body
trembled under him and around him and he was caught in that tremor.

“Vegeta,” was the groan, “Come on…”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> A languid stretch, and Vegeta had to close
his eyes again.

But he started to move. Slower at first, trying to get used to it again, trying not to
hurt. He pushed harder, felt Kakarot shift, felt
him accept it and invite it, and he moved harder. Faster. Reached out
blindly with his free hand, felt Kakarot’s fingers on his, and lost it all.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Opened his eyes to see Kakarot look directly
at him. Watched slow smile, the flush
the sheen of sweat on the skin and exploded.

Wondered if it was possible to die this way.

~~~***

Okay. Why the
hell did Vegeta let him jam his erection up inside of him every night if it was
this damn uncomfortable? He could
understand doing it once just because of curiosities’ sake.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Maybe even twice. But every damn night? How
could you stand it? So he was on his
hands and knees—used to be all horny and lusty—and he was just wondering how
long it usually took to get this sex thing over with so he could go do
something that wasn’t so awkward and uncomfortable.

And then Vegeta had started to move and wouldn’t you
know it…but that actually did feel pretty good. Slick and weird. Like his
whole body realized that this particular part of his body wasn’t the part that
Vegeta’s parts were supposed to be in.
But mostly it was good. Until
Vegeta stopped a. So he took
advantage of his and turned over. Saw
that darkness and that turmoil and dammit, he had fought too long and too hard
to get this far he was not about to let Mr. Prince of Obstinate
Overly-thoughtful Idiots everywhere ruin it because he was thinking that he was
what everyone else said he was.

They were Saiyans.
Goku was a big boy. And he
wanted this dammit, he was going to get what he wanted whether Vegeta thought
it was what he should want or not.
(Watching Gohan sob to his Mommy and get berated by his Mommy had not a
Happy Goku made.) And they were back to
the sex, back to the good feeling. He
watched Vegeta fight with himself, watched him struggle and pant and get
downright sexy. Wrapped his hand around
Vegeta’s when it searched for leverage—and that Goku could understand because
he was starting to feel like there was the edge of real insanity tipping
against them.

Felt the hot rush inside of him, looked at Vegeta as
his eyes opened, stared, blinked, and then felt Vegeta slip out of him.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Felt bereft at that emptiness and the aching
in his unfulfilled arousal. Puself elf elf
up on his elbows and watched Vegeta move down his body, raining strange little
kisses on him until he reached his arousal.

Oh. He sucked
in a breath.

Stared.

Felt the heat around him and the suction and dropped
right back to the bed, opened his legs wide again, canted them up, felt fingers—three
all at once—slip back into him and rub against his prostate.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Went right back to the panting and moaning portion
of the evening and thought that he was going to die right here in bed and that
was perfectly fine. Cled hid his teeth,
yelled Vegeta’s name through his closed lips and let it all go.

Felt nessness blanket him and was happy to let it.

But when morning broke he found that Vegeta was
sitting up in bed, legs crossed—still bare though which was promising—and he
was just sitting there. Waiting.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> So Goku blinked, rubbed his eyes, sat up as
well and looked at Vegeta. Yawned and
wondered just how early in the morning it was.

“Hey, ‘Geta,” he said.

“Hello Kakarot.”

“What are we going to have for breakfast?” he
asked. Scratched the back of his head
and thought that a shower was probably number one on the list or priorities for
the day. Because he was sticky and
unpleasantly messy. A bit sore but not
enough to be bothered.

“Shower?” Vegeta asked. As if reading his mind.
And he nodded, followed Vegeta to the bathroom, watched him adjust the
temperature—accepted that this was always the way of it.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Vegeta set the water temperature, Goku
caught the food. And when they were
both in the shower, and their hair was washed, their bodies were slick with
suds of soap, Vegeta kissed him.
Hard. Kissed him and rubbed
against him. He had to put his hand
between , gr, grab a hold of the lithe body and hold it still in order to get
his bearings.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Vegeta didn’t answer him. Not with words anyway, because what Prince honestly answered with
words when he could explain everything in a glance. Vegeta was afraid. Really,
honestly afraid that he had done something horrible the night before, that he
would fail next time and all that restrain he had shown would be gone.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> So Goku just wrapped himself around Vegeta,
felt the hand on him, felt the way he was guided to Vegeta’s entrance and
closed his eyes when he was pulled inside.
Thought that somehow this made Vegeta feel safe.

Held him and kissed him, but didn’t move.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Let the feeling of safety overtake
them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***

Damn.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Way under word count.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> But I’m freakin’ tired folks.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> So I’ll try to make up for it with the next
update. (tomorrow!)

Gk:
Yeah! Sex!

Vegeta:
Yeah! No Green thing or pimple
boy or baldy or anything!

Gk: I think
I already said that with ‘yeah, sex!’

Vegeta: I
was elaborating.

Jaygoose:

I
have already said that I am not trying to kill you. *nods in agreement with self. *

Hectate 18:

Thanks
for reviewing. Don’t worry about being ‘late’
or ‘on time’ it’s not like I sit here with a stop watch and time how much time
passes between your reviews. I just
like to hear from folks.

Getarian:

Yeah,
I sort of skipped over the fact that nobody really reacted to Chichi dying, figuring
that if I skipped it so would the readers.
(That way I could smack you in the face with the fact that Gohan has
obviously not dealt with it.)
Sigh. Yeah!

Mechanical Butterfly:

You
know, I love this fic too. But
sometimes I wish I was just reading it instead of writing it.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> That way I could look at it and just enjoy
it. *sigh, realizes she sounds weird
and chalks it up to the lack of sleep. *