Much Like Suffocating
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Much Like Suffocating
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WARNINGS AND DISCLAIMERS:
instead of just reading it? (Insert
standard discer her here: I don’t own
Vegeta, Goku, (any other characters mentioned herein) or the show they came
from DBZ DBGT or just plain DB.)
ALL RIGHTY. *rubs hands
together and looks up terms for the list of warnings: *
already screaming. You can read
it. I swear It’ll be chocked full of
lemony goodness. LEMONS (Not talking
about the fruit here, either. I’m
talking about the sex ones; although how did it come to be a ‘lemon’ anyway?)
Gasp): bondage, shady professions, and
gra des descriptions. (Hopefully
graphic anywho.) Also, dirty language
doubtlessly. DARK.
As always I strive to keep folk in character even when they are not
‘themselves’ in the canon-sense. If
you’re reading this and you’re like they are so not in character, give it a
chappie or two and see if you still think that.
I tried very hard not to write this.
bunny (the plot bunny) until it went away.
And you see how far that ge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****
His arms ached, his legs throbbed and his body
screamed out that it was being abused for no reason, that it had been trained
for much more pleasurable activities than playing the punching bag for the
oversized one. But Vegeta ignored
it. Summoned up the years and years of
training that he had prior to being kidnapped and falling into Frieza’s
service. All that knowledge was still
there. The power he had attained was
rusty from non-use, but it was there too.
Beneath the surface of his mind where the darkness lurked and reminded
him that the nightmare throbbed today brighter and more painfully than it had
the night before. Because today was the
last day of Freiza’s life. Tomorrow one
of his abused would be back, and they would claim the maggot’s life.
Vegeta
would have liked it to be him.
But
it couldn’t be. He wasn’t strong
enough, and there was no greater proof than the fact that Goku was a Super
Saiyan. A well trained one, one that
had spent the past ten years with the lingering effects of his father’s cruelty
tormenting his mind into something that made even the mind-readers cringe in
fear. Vegeta had heard the thoughts of
that fucking ship, had felt the need and the ache of desire from being trapped
there and understood just a bit of what that hell was like.
Looked
at his owst ast and thanked the Gods that Bardock had not taken such a special
interest in him. Because Freiza would
die tomorrow and Vegeta would be avenged.
Bardock’s death would bring revenge for the crown, not just for the
Prince himself. Traitors died a
traitor’s death.
But
thoughts of ripping Bardock apart piece by bloody screaming piece did not make
him stronger, or faster, or bring back to fore the muscles that had not been
used for this reason in years. Fighting
with Goku had not brought them back as grandly as Vegeta had hoped, but as the
big one put it: ‘You started off today ten years behind and ended it six.’
thing.
His
brother returned before nightfall, carrying food and bearing gouges in his
shoulder than ran nearly to the bone.
His lips were stained bright red, and the bitch of a Spider Princess was
swaying with contentment, lightly singing in her own spidery language and
content to sit and watch them eat without retreating to feed herself.
mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt'> Not
that he gave a damn who his little brother fucked.
Night
came and they retreated back into the cave, each to their own place to sleep,
curled up and tried hard not to think about what tomorrow brought, and Vegeta
went upstairs, found Goku sitting on the pile of furs, legs crossed and eyes
closed. He just sat, contently, as if
in a trance of some kind. Vegeta
wondered if the half-breed mind reader had healed his mind yet. Wondered if it
would hurt and how badly it would piss off the Juro Gods.
Crossed
the room and stood in front of Goku, saw his black eyes open and look up at
him. Saw determination there,
fearlessness. A deep knowledge that
showed he would win, no matter the cost, his freedom would be won out of the
screams of Freiza’s dying throat. He
would wring his life back by drawing blood.
Vegeta
knelt in front of him, reached out and touched him, thought insanely that he
was touching something here that he couldn’t possibly attain.
his will, but taken him with his will and that made it hurt so much worse.
speak those words, could never say out loud what had happened.
Goku
ran his fingers across Vegeta’s hand on him.
Then looked at him, opened his mouth to say something, but no words came
out. Never would, probably, what good
were words anyway? He leaned forward,
put his arm around Vegeta, drew him close to him. Pressed his lips to Vegeta’s and let his mouth be opened up, met
the invasion of his tongue and pulled them both back down onto the piled furs.
whimpered under him and pulled his legs up out of the way.
frightened to take anything.
Vegeta
pulled theiotheothes off, ran his own hands over the bare skin, felt the
muscles under that soft skin, under the smoothness and the pale strength.
stomach and felt the erection digging into him. Heard the whimpers, the little whines of need and pushed himself
up so he could look at Goku, could see his eyes and his face and watch as he
pushed himself into the larger body, felt the heat and saw the look of need in
the eyes.
Yes,
he wanted Goku. Had a feeling that
until he died, he would always want him.
Because together they were safe, together they understood, and apart
they had to live witis ois on their own.
That was a thought too difficult to really bear and he pushed it out of
his mind as he felt the hands press against his hips, draw him in deeper and
faster.
Thrust
into Goku and dropped his head down to kiss him again.
fighting for. Because they had chosen
this. Chose to fight.
theirs.
Tomorrow.
Freiza
died. But today he still lived and that
nightmare lived with him.
~~~***
Goten
realized in the dimmest corner of his outward mind that he was probably going
to make quite a scene. He had never
healed a mind so scarred as the one he was about to undo.
mind nearly as scarred. The only other
one that came close was Trunks, and his issues with his position as a murderinalf-alf-breed whose father wanted him dead was hardly comparable to the mental
torture that Goku had unknowingly endured.
Besides Trunks was younger, they had been alone when he’d done it and
all it took to snap him out of the trance and spectacle he had put on was a
kick in the gut.
p clp class=MsoNormal style='line-height:150%'> Somehow
he wasn’t so sure this was going to be that easy.
Felt
the outer edges of the torn mind, and the slick bloody mental threads slipped
over his ‘fingers.’ He shuddered,
opened his eyes—his physical eyes—and looked at Krillin.
but didn’t, because the little Juro hated himself enough already.
Krillin,
dear Prince, looked away from him, and whispered just as softly: “Humming.”
Goten
gave Trunks a glance, pressed his shoulders against the edge of the cave and
hoped like hell that nobody heard anything of what he was about to dig out of
Goku’s mind. (Most often in procedures
such as this, the healer actually became possessed of the painful memories and
acted them out in their gory details.
With the sort of memories Goten was going to unearth, he hoped that did
not happen.) He cleared his throat and
started to hum, not in his chest, but in the deep parts of his mind, hummed
until it resonated outwards, through the thin silvery threads that tied him to
Goku’s mind and felt it open up. Felt
the torn and bloody areas roll and expose their cores.
else, how very much a part of his personality that had become and wondered if
it was even possible to undo that damage.
Lifted
the first pocket of disease in the mind, and was sucked straight down into
Goku’s childhood. Saw his brother.
because Radditz hated him. When he saw
him—if he saw him—he would make him bloody.
With fists and feet and weapons.
Goten loosened the tie, that held the memory so painfully and felt it
flop out, felt it lose significance and fade away.yes">
(Remember,)
something whispered to him—with a fucking smirk, and he knew that voice—(if
you take it all away, he’ll have nothing to defeat Freiza with.)
He
grabbed the source of that voice, held it like a box in his mental hand, felt
the burn of it, the sting of his physical body as it jerked beyond his ability
to control it and words bubbled up, he could feel them, hear them, and hated
Bardock more in that moment than he had ever hated him.
HUMMED at it, HUMMED while it ticked off the countdown to Goku’s final
end.
Defeat
Freiza, sure, but once he did there was nothing left to live for.
that freedom was never free. That the
scars on him were his shame and he would bear them forever, hide them forever
and live in the darkness were nobody could love him.
Goten
felt Bardock’s hand on Goku’s skin as he tied him down.
even while he saved him. And heard the
humming, heard the words. “You’re so
pretty…”
the box and tore it open, felt the memory smash into him so hard he was
completely fucking breathless. Because
there were things that Goku hadn’t remembered.
Like his tail. Bardock took his
son’s tail. Like the words that Bardock
said to him when he saved him. How he
told him he was so pretty, and let him bleed and cry and loved it.
Goten
felt the scream tearing out of him, grabbed the tendrils of Bardock’s little
thoughts that he had planted in Goku’s mind, grabbed them and held them in his
hands. Smashed them between his fingers
until they were goo, smashed them until he felt the pain dig into his own mind
and free from Goku’s. Smashed Bardock
and wished like all hell that he could be doing it for real.
being pulled back into his physical body.
Strangled
back, more like it. Suffocated out of
his ability to control his own mind, because it would panic when the body
verged on death and revert back to basic instincts. Found himself trapped on the floor of the cave with Trunks’ hand
over his mouth and he clawed at the wrist, nodded his head against the
hand. Trunks pulled away from him,
knelt over his stomach with a knee on each side of him.
punched him but he carried too many lashes.
“Fucking
idiot,” Trunks whispered, “Do you have any idea what shit you’ve been saying?”
lasslass=MsoNormal style='line-height:150%'> Goten
sat up, felt Trunks’ hips slide back to his legs and whimpered when the ragged
skin of his arms pulled and bled. Saw
that only Chichi remained in the cave with them.
“I
sent them out, little addiction,” she whispered, “Secrets such as theirs are to
remain secrets. Your mind is filthy
with it. And tomorrow when the tyrant
dies… You will wash it all clean.”
He
tried to speak, felt his face bruised and his back lashed, and didn’t have the
strength. Looked at Trunks, tried to
give him that shit-eating grin, but failed, and slumped as his physical body
blacked out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****
Gk: That was
almost nookie.
Vegeta: I AM
NOT AN ANGST FACTORY!
Goten:
Oi. With all this blood loss how
I am still alive?
Trunks: Lots
and lots of orange juice and cookies.
All: o.O?
Goten: And
why does Chichi call me the little addiction?
Chichi:
Soon, I will tell you.
*Mwhahahahaha *
*sobs * I
miss Jaygoose and Mechanical Butterfly!!!!
*sobs *
Okay, onto the folk that did review!
Macha:
Goten
and Trunks……… play c?
cake? Buy a giraffe?
Ah,
the controversy of Goku’s destroyed mind versus Vegeta’s…
the Prince would be fine.
Getarian:
Er.
you’re on chapter 13… Oh well.
Glad
to have you reading.
significantly * Also pleased to see
that you are finding the fleshy parts of the story interesting.
mail-e. So… … Yeah.
Yeah! (why?
I don’t know.)