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As I lay to rest

Forever stationary, cast into the abyss, lost in the sea of despair, it may forever be my curse, my heavy burden in which I must carry like a cross nailed to my back. My blood flows freely to the parched earth below me, even the dirt mocks me, never to suck in my life fluid into its depth; instead it leaves it in a pool of loathing repugnance. I can feel each fibre of my being slip into the darkness that is I, twisting and twirling, moving and halting instantly, leaving me shattered and shaken by my own self inflictions. 

Flashes of a once happier time ridicule and devastate me, mockingly it grins down to me, snicker and laugh, point the imposing finger down, down, down, where I belong; the glint of my blood sacrifice rung my bell of self delusions, I am lower than dirt.

I belong to nothing, even the dark abysmal blackness slithers from me, closing its customary welcoming arms, only to me. The razor by my side is dulled by my revolting flesh, the shining lustre of steel blacken by my blood; disgusting, undeserving, deviant.

A fool in love, oh I wish it to be true, no, I am haunted by my disturbing taboo obsessions; I am lowly, a gentleman in disguise in a suite and flashy title. I am sickening, sickening to myself, polluting my families name with each breath I take, demolishing everything my family line had sweat for. I ruined it all in just one moon lit night.

Years this unsettling need bloomed, with each peep-show given unknowingly, innocently. It was that body, oh yes that sculpted body marred in scars, each beautiful stroke across his caramel skin highlighted experience, and strength, battles won, wars, a life of a warrior. Left in a sense of awe and worship, in time it became far more chaotic, leaving me in a seizer like fit in my cold empty bed. I would picture him then, coming to lay beside me, hushing me to a calming condition, the innocent actions would become dark, I pictured his lips pressing into my own, not of care, no, those lips kissed my own in passion and I would writhe against my sheet, hump the air with the mere thought alone. Lost in those moments I could feel those lips, only to open my eyes and see my partner was the solid back of my hand. Mesmerized by the idea, my hand became his lips, tentatively pressing light kisses, small licks, only to smother my hand with my saliva and picture the flame shape hair descending down my hips, his mouth wrapping around my hard need; I would cry, cry in need and repulsion, pile rising in my chest burning my throat, yet I didn’t stop until I came, fantasizing it was his lips covered in the evidence of my lust and love and not my thumb and index finger.

It burns my belly, churns and boils in utter self loathing, the all consuming need I felt for him, remembering sneaking into the bathroom as he showered, how I would tweak a nipple at his chiselled body, snatching his sweat covered training top to breath in the ambrosia of his scent, musky, powerful, masculine… Saiyan Royalty.

I couldn’t take it any longer; my inability to perform the ancient dance of reproduction sickened me, unable to arise to attention without his old navy blue tank stuffed under my nose. I wanted him so badly, but the ramifications greatly outweighed all possibilities. There are none, for he is loyal and steadfast with his mate, his eyes only for her, and it kills me. Just a spare glance, a gentle kiss, a night under his power and will and I’ll be happy for the rest of my existence.

I can feel the world darken around me, my pathetic life is to be over, and a disquieting regret astonishes me. I regret ever showing him my want of him, I regret acting my needs, pressing my lips forcibly against his own, whispering his name with the built up passions I harboured for years before all our friends and family.

In the distance I hear the footsteps come in, and I knew it to be him, his scent filling my half-breed nostrils. His knees hit the ground beside me, his breathing was calm; not the expectant panic I assumed to be there, but then again the all mighty Prince had witness death most of his life; But I assumed I would differ from the countless nameless lives taken all those many years ago.

His bare hands cupped my face and it startles me, never one to be known without the white barriers, his hands are bare, and oh so warm, strong, gentle. I nuzzled closer into the palm, my eyes open to gaze into those deep onyx stones looking down to me, in pity I believe. He bumped his forehead against my own, and I had to say my last words to the object of my sinful desires. “I am sorry…”

There wasn’t much else that could be said…

That deep rumbling voice whispered gently to me, a voice that brought me to the edge of orgasm innumerable times. “Go to sleep… my son.”

Oddly a feeling of acceptance and joy bloomed in my chest, not something that would be considered expected, half expecting the emotions of shame and hopelessness from your father telling you to accept death. Not I, I felt forgiven…he said son.

I closed my eyes; the incestual homosexual will sleep, under thy father’s gentle coaxing command. I know he will stay, I would not die alone on this cold mountain top; it was far more than I deserved…   

That will be the closest to an incest fic I’ll ever get. Personally it is something I am not fond writing. A fantasy fic sure, but an actual fic of it happening…nooooo. Blame this on Rutobuka! Rutobuka drew a piece of Vegeta x Trunks and I didn’t cringe, but instead tilted my head saying ooh… But as I said before, this is the closest I’ll ever get, so please do not expect more from this. Thank you.

Fanfiction:

Cara2012: No your not :P we just have the ability to “appreciate” different things lol. And yes! Boot him with everything you have Muahahah! He is a strong lad, he could take it ;) Thank you for reviewing.      

Ranni-lou: Thank you for the reviews. I like em’ evil, like to dabble in all of them being evil, eventually it shall happen! Can you imagine! EVIL KAMI and POPO! Oh lordy!