I wish I were you
Regret
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24. Regret
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>The couch was comfortable to sit in. The couch was fairly comfortable
to fuck in. The couch was not comfortable to sleep in.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>Duo gave a sideway punch to the couch cushion. His limbs were still stiff
from sleeping here the previous night, after their fight. How was he supposed
to get some sleep? Such a big house, one might wonder how there couldn’t have
been a guest room here.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>He wondered what the time was. There was a big antique clock in the lounge
room, but he couldn’t see the hands in the darkness. He could only hear the
beating of his heart, like seconds of some internal clock. A while ago, the
chime had sounded four times. He hadn’t paid any attention to it before how
beautiful it sounded. Rich, and very melodious.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>He briskly turned around, pressing his face into the pillow. He could
still smell the salt of his tears. Earlier that night, a sudden panic had
overwhelmed him, about what would happen if Heero wouldn’t forgive him. That lump
of misery had started swelling in his chest, like an unstoppable balloon, and
he had cried, sobbed, he had wanted to scream. He had slapped himself, banged
his fists against the couch. He had paced around, kicking things as he went. He
hated this feeling. And it was all his own damn fault.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>He turned again, cursing as his feet got tangled up in the sheet. It
was then that he noticed that there was light in the hallway. He heard a sound,
a mug being placed down on something. It came from the kitchen.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>Heero yawned as he poured the milk into his mug. Before him on the wall
hung the wok pan, and when he looked at it, he felt strangely nostalgic of when
things were still alright.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>He couldn’t really describe how he felt. It was like being locked up in
a tiny box, and he wanted to break out of it, but no matter how hard he pushed,
he couldn’t break the walls. Kind of claustrophobic.
It was very new to him, this being cheated on. He had opened up to someone, had
trusted someone, and now that someone had broken his trust. He’d never known he
could feel so hurt, but in spite of that, he wished he could go back to that
time when he and Duo were watching over Wufei’s
shoulder and had to stop themselves from stealing noodles out of his wok pan.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB;mso-bidi-font-style:
italic'>He took his mug and turned, gasping in surprise when he saw Duo
standing in the doorway. His look immediately soured.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Heero,” Duo said
softly. “What are you doing here?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero intently
stared at the milk in his mug. Duo looked fucking hot with his hair all tangled
and wearing only his boxers. The black one with a lurid green “King Size Lover”
printed on it.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Look Heero, I’m
sorry about what happened.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero shrugged
and sipped from his milk. He sighed and went sitting at the table with his
hands pressed against his eyes. Then he yawned again, making it obvious he
didn’t feel like talking.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo hugged
himself helplessly. Heero’s avoiding him stung badly.
He too was only wearing boxers, and unlike Heero, he didn’t avert his eyes, but
let them roam over the flat belly, the strong thighs, his
silky soft hair. “You knew I was gonne
be here. Now don’t go ignoring me.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero briefly
peered up at him. “Thought you’d be asleep by now.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“How do you
expect me to sleep?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Oh, I don’t
know. Maybe you’re exhausted from jerking off over Quatre.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero winced. The
yell almost physically hurt his ears. He glanced up at Duo again; there were
tears in his eyes. He had to admit it moved him. But only a
little.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I said I’m
sorry!” He moved to sit next to Heero and laid his hand on his arm in an attempt
to get his attention. “I hate feeling like this. I wanna
talk it over.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“You brought it
on yourself,” Heero murmured, taking another gulp from his milk.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I
with deep regret. There was a time when Heero would’ve let him suck that milk
off his fingers. They had fucked, right here, on this very table. Everything
carried memories!
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero licked some
milk from his upper lip, and Duo gave a hiss of desire. His tongue! He longed
for its taste in his mouth. Heero gave him a suspicious leer, but didn’t react
any further. He wondered if he’d done it on purpose, to taunt him. Of course he
knew he was looking at him. And his tongue.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Just as he opened
his mouth to say something, Heero spoke again. “I just wanna
know…” He slightly shook his head and looked at him. “Why did you do it?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo blinked and
stared at him wide-eyed.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Why are you
staring like that? I’m giving you a chance to explain. But I’m warning you…”
His eyes narrowed. “It’d better be a damn good explanation.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo nodded
dumbly, still staring.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“And don’t you
give me any heat of the moment kind of crap. If you want heat, you know I can
give you all the heat you want.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>On top of the
staring came the gaping. Duo felt his heartbeat quickening and his cock stirring.
It was only Heero’s impatient frown that made him
realize he was wasting precious time. “I guess… you know,
Quatre’s never had a boyfriend before. He was
it right, so he wouldn’t look stupid. You know how it goes.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero slowly
tilted his head. For a while, he didn’t say anything. Duo couldn’t help but
squirm uncomfortably while Heero contemplated. “That’s hardly a reason, Duo. If
Quatre’s insecure, he damn well has to figure that
out with his boyfriend. Hell, our first time wasn’t all that magical either!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“That’s
different, Heero! We were both experienced, we’d had sex before!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“When would I
have…?” Heero interrupted.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Please, I’m
you out, back at school, and the way you looked back. Being
too late in class. Entering the boy’s room with a guy,
and coming out again with the same, looking all flushed and ruffled.”
course.
Quatre didn’t know anything about it, not a thing!” He felt guilty for using
that excuse. Coz it wasn’t true. He had seen the boy’s naked, beautiful cock
between his thighs and he had lost all control. He still remembered how Quatre
had moaned, and it still turned him on.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“That might as
well be! But if Quatre has a boyfriend who’d really love him,
show it for him how it goes!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Yes, I realize
that now. But Heero… We didn’t… There wasn’t any
penetration. We didn’t actually fuck.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Christ, Duo!”
Heero yelled. He slammed his fist on the table, and Duo flinched. “Do you
really expect me to believe that? Do you really think I’m that stupid?!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo retorted with
the same kind of vigor. “Do you really think
It was Quatre’s first time! I admit, we did other
things, and I was horny as hell, but luckily, I came to my senses again just in
time. Did you really think I was gonna take his virginity?”
softened again. He sighed and shrugged. “I guess you’re right.” He rubbed his
eyes and drank from his milk again. “And if it hadn’t been his first time?
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo briefly
looked at Heero, and then looked away. There was shame and guilt in his
expression. “Then, probably…”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero sharply
turned away with clear disgust, and Duo was quick to grab his arm.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Heero, please,”
he pleaded. “I admit, it was a thrill to be with
someone else. But it’s nothing compared to the thrill of being with you, of the
bond we share.” Duo noticed that Heero was blinking back tears. He saw his
chance and took it. He cupped both hands around Heero’s
jaws and pressed their foreheads together. “We had such a strong connection.”
There was an unmistakable shiver in his own voice as
well.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“It’s been
broken. You broke it.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“We can fix it.
We can make it whole again.” He felt tears running over his cheeks, tears of
distress, but also tears of hope, because he saw that Heero was crying as well.
He took one of Heero’s hands in both his, and kissed
the palm softly. “I want to become your husband one day. Not now of course,
that would be ridiculous. But I always want to have your smell in my nose, your
taste in my mouth, your skin under my fingertips. And until that day comes,
maybe we’re gonna fuck around together as much as we can, just because it’s
fun. But having a future with you, that’s what makes
life worth living.” He chanced to brush his lips briefly over
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero nodded,
sniffing his nose. “I miss you too.” He looked down, to their entwined hands.
“But this is not gonna do.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“What? What do
you mean?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“You know,
there’s nothing wrong with fucking around. But you don’t fuck around with your
best friend. And every time I’d kiss you, hold you, fuck you,
I’d be reminded of what you did.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo vehemently
shook his head. “No, don’t say that.” He placed a hand around
was the only kind of closeness Heero seemed to allow right now. “You’re gonna
forgive me…” It had rather sounded as a mild order than a plea. “You belong to
me.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I don’t belong
to anyone. If I want to leave you, then I’ll do just that.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“No…” Duo
groaned. “I want you back…” His hand rubbed gently between Heero’s
legs, finding the shape of his cock and stroking it. “I love you…”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero gasped,
arching his back against Duo’s touch. Then he imagined that same hand on
Duo, you can’t solve this with sex.” He rubbed a hand over his face and turned
towards the door. “It’s never gonna be the same. I don’t know if I can still
trust you.” He heard Duo stirring behind him, heard the soft sounds of
suppressed sobs.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>They both knew
how much they’d already fucked around in the backrooms of gay clubs. But Duo
knew that bringing that topic up wouldn’t make any difference. Those guys were
just passerbys in their lives. Quatre wasn’t. And he
also regretted how much he was gonna hurt him by choosing Heero. But a life
without Heero was something he’d never be prepared for.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>He noticed Heero
shuffling towards the door, his back still to him. The conversation wasn’t over
yet, but apparently he was tired of it for tonight.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero heard the
scraping of a chair and was hardly surprised when he felt Duo’s arms enveloping
him from behind. What did surprise him was how unpleasant it felt right now.
“Duo, please let go of me,” he murmured.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“No,” Duo sobbed.
“I made one mistake, Heero.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“It was one too
many.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Heero…” Duo
croaked. “I had absolutely no idea Quatre felt that way about me. Otherwise I never
would’ve done it. You know I don’t toy with people’s feelings like that.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero laughed,
but it was a hard and humourless sound.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I mean…!” Duo
spluttered. He turned Heero around and grabbed his shoulders. “Look, when we
fuck guys in clubs, we know there are no strings attached! I thought that with
Quatre that was the case as well! I admit that I was turned on by him, but I
don’t love him!” He had a feeling he was making it worse. He covered his face
with his hands, and he got that feeling from before again, that he wanted to
scream, and before Heero could even react, he’d pressed his lips against his.
There was despair in his kiss. Heero stayed impassive, but didn’t push him
away. When he broke the kiss, he buried his face against Heero’s
shoulder, letting his tears wet the tanned skin. “I thought that you and me, it
would be forever.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero didn’t
reply.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Tell me it’s
gonna be alright,” he whispered.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I don’t know
that,” Heero said. “I have to think it through.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>They stayed like
that for a while, Duo’s arms clutching hopelessly at Heero, and Heero putting
up with it. Eventually, Heero gently pushed them apart. “I’m going back to bed
now.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo nodded.
“Okay.” He quickly wiped the tears away with his hand, and while Heero slouched
up the stairs, he slouched back to his couch.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>~*~
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo watched how
the butter sizzled around his French toasts. The edges slowly turned a darker
shade. He pressed on them with his fork, and they gave a sizzling sound. Where
he pressed, a little moisture from the batter welled up. That’s how he liked
them. Juicy, sweet and rich.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Fascinating?” he
suddenly heard someone saying next to him.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>He jumped and
looked aside. “Damn Quatre, you startled me!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Quatre chuckled.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“No, I just felt
like making them. Then at least they are the way I want them.” He shrugged,
flipping the French toasts. “Not like I got anything else to do anyway.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Quatre saw the
distress in his eyes. Normally he’d still be in bed at this hour, cuddling and
kissing and lazing around with Heero. He dismissed the thought. “You need
help?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Um yeah, if you
could make some more batter, that would be great.” He gestured towards the
kitchen table. “Milk and eggs are over there.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Okay!” Quatre
beamed. “Hey, you look good with those.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo looked down.
but they were on sale. And the shirt too.” He grinned
sheepishly. “You probably think I’m a cheapskate.”
you need all your money for lube and toys,” Quatre giggled.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo gave a
hesitant smile in return. It was hard to keep a mixture between coldness and
kindness. He didn’t want to completely push him away, but being too friendly
would get funny ideas in that blond head again.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Quatre got to
work with milk, eggs and sugar, and when the batter was finished,
he started soaking new slices of bread in it, arranging them carefully on a
plate.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo peered over
his shoulder to see how far along Quatre was with the French toasts. He blinked
and quickly fixed his attention on the pan again. Quatre was licking the batter
off his fingers. Sucking
the batter off his fingers. He briefly shook his head and slid his
French toasts on a plate. This should be over now!
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Quatre, the
French toasts?” he called over his shoulder as he added butter in the pan. He
soon regretted it. Quatre came next to him with the plate, and after he’d put
it down, he scooped up more batter out of the bowl on the fingers of his other
hand.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Uh… yeah,” Duo
mumbled, peering at Quatre while he cleaned the batter off his fingers.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Quatre became
aware of Duo’s gaze on him and grinned. He started to repeatedly push his
fingers in and out of his mouth.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo swallowed and
quickly placed the French toasts in the pan. He was relieved to hear the sound
of feet stumbling down the stairs, and laughter stumbling along with it. When
kitchen, he gave them a funny look, which earned him a defensive glare in
return from Wufei.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“What? It doesn’t
always have to be you or Heero who strut around here in their boxers,” he
snapped humorously. “Zechs likes me best like this.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Actually, I like
you better out of them,” Zechs murmured, sneaking his
hand down the front of Wufei’s boxers.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo rolled his
eyes, and before Wufei and Zechs
got a chance to get hot and naked, he none too gently placed the plate of
steaming French toasts on the table. “Sit and eat,” he said. “I’m not in the
mood for your ravenous hormones right now.”
delicately seated himself on a chair and cleared his throat. “May I remind you
of the time you were eavesdropping at our bedroom door while me and
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I said not right
now!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>The couple
chuckled and proceeded feeding each other bits of French toasts.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo had already
started clearing away the dishes when Heero finally entered the kitchen.
“Heero,” he said. “Want me to make you some breakfast?” He tried to give him a
hesitant smile. Heero didn’t answer it and just walked past him to the coffee
machine.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“No, just some
coffee will be fine,” Heero murmured, pouring himself
a cup.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Are you sure?
It’s no trouble at all.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero blew his
coffee and took a careful sip. “It’s okay.” His voice was soft, but firm.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo watched him
for a moment. He felt his breath shortening with agitation. “Why are you so
cold?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“You need to
ask?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Did our
conversation yesterday mean nothing at all?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero gazed in
his mug and sighed. “Our conversation yesterday was good.” He looked up and saw
Quatre behind Duo at the counter, clearing away his own plate. His look soured.
“But I’m still very disappointed in you.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Duo stared at the
floor, blinking back tears. He sucked in a breath when an arm laced around his
own. It was Quatre’s arm.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“It will be
alright,” Quatre cooed. He reached up with his other hand to softly stroke Duo’s
upper arm. “Don’t worry.”
were drawn to it inevitably. Duo didn’t welcome the gesture, but he didn’t
reject it either. In his mind’s eye, he saw Quatre’s
stroking hand reaching up to touch Duo’s cheek, turning his face to him and
kissing him. Duo would open his mouth, and accept the pink, greedy tongue. He
would run his hands over Quatre’s body, lift his
shirt over his head and squeeze at his chest.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero snapped out
of it and slammed his mug on the counter. Cursing under his breath, he stormed
out of the kitchen.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Heero, wait!”
Duo called after him.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Worried, but
curious, Wufei got up and followed him. He found him
in the hallway sullenly kicking the wall with his heavy boot. “What’s going
on?” he said, closing the door behind him.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero gave him an
annoyed look. “You really have been living on your cloud number nine these past
few days, haven’t you?”
frowned.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Duo has cheated
on me,” Heero sighed.
what?!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“He has cheated
on me!” Heero repeated, giving the wall a particularly vicious kick. “Well,
almost. He wanted to, that bastard.”
who?”
Quatre!
Quatre being a virgin, he would’ve gone through with it. God knows what they
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>It was silent for
a moment. Heero glanced aside and wondered why Wufei
looked like he’d just found the solution to all the mysteries in the universe.
“This is all my fault.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero wrinkled
his nose, as if the thought would be completely ridiculous. “What? How can this
be your fault?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Look Heero.”
speak them. “What Duo has done, or wanted to do, is a terrible thing. But I
don’t think the blame lies entirely with him.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero shook his
head in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I heard him
moaning. And… it was Duo’s name that he was moaning.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Huh? Where?
When…?”
see the tension in Heero’s arms, in his fists.
a calming hand on his shoulder. “Calm down, Heero.” He relaxed a bit under his
touch. “It was on that morning when we received the invitation from
in yours and Duo’s room, but it was clearly someone else’s voice. Besides, I
heard you both downstairs.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero looked away
and flushed. He remembered. It must’ve been around that time when he was
holding Duo up against the banister and was ramming his groin against Duo’s
crotch.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“When I listened
more closely, I recognized Quatre’s voice, moaning in
an obviously sexual way, and saying Duo’s name. Clearly, he was fantasising
about him. I didn’t want to say anything because I thought it was just a crush
and that it might blow over. But…” He withdrew the hand that was resting on
late.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I see,” Heero
said, nodding slowly. “Okay. But that still doesn’t justify Duo leading Quatre
on. It’s not fair to Quatre, and to me.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“It might’ve been
avoided if you both knew about it! Duo could’ve stopped giving him sex
could’ve been more careful.”
set. His fist clenched and unclenched. It unnerved him how much Quatre had
taken advantage of Duo. And Duo had not wanted to see it. And Heero
it. “Maybe you’re right.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I’m sorry.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“You don’t have
to apologize. The only one to blame is Duo.”
Quatre.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero shrugged,
dismissively. “Yeah,” he muttered.
Heero.
sometimes. But you’re never gonna find someone like Duo again.” He gave Heero a
soft, encouraging punch on the chest. “Think about it.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero nodded
slowly again, his mind sunken in thoughts. “I will.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>~*~
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>It was around
when Quatre heard the angry roar of a car outside. He recognized the roar; it
was the sound of a Jaguar. His Jaguar. He ran to the window, just in time to see his
favourite black Jaguar storm off the driveway and out of sight.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Breathless with
anger, he turned around to Wufei and
gingerly looked up from his hot cocoa. “Uhm… I heard
Heero mentioning that he had some business this afternoon.”
fell open. He was appalled. “I didn’t give him permission to use that car!”
rolled his eyes. “Quatre, please… Permission?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Do you have any
idea how much that car costs?! You don’t drive it around just like that! It
needs to be handled with care. And the way I saw him screeching off the
driveway just now, is not handling it
with care!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Don’t worry,
Quatre,” Zechs said in his soft voice. “Heero knows
that when there’s so much as a scratch on one of your cars, he’ll have to
reimburse you for it, and he doesn’t have the money for that. He’s not that
stupid. Besides, he can safely manoeuvre a Gundam,
I’m pretty sure he knows how to handle a Jaguar.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Quatre pulled a
chair up to the window and gazed through it, seemingly determined to wait until
Heero came back. “You’d better be right.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero was humming
along with the song on the radio as he drove back up the driveway. The
adrenaline was pumping through his veins. He’d been driving at a monstrous
speed with a fine, prestigious car that belonged to someone who’d taken the one
person that was precious to him. It had been the perfect way to let off some
steam and cool some of his anger. On top of that, he had finally obtained a
clear view on what he should do with Duo now. Now he still had to find the
right moment to tell him.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>He whistled
insouciantly when he got out of the car. He’d already seen Quatre waiting for
him at the front door. He’d also seen that the boy was seething with anger.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I borrowed your
car,” he said, throwing the keys to Quatre.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Quatre caught the
keys and started circling around his beloved car.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Don’t worry, I
didn’t hurt her.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Where’ve you
been? You’ve been away for two hours!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero shrugged.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Where did you
even get the keys?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I found them on
your nightstand. Figured that’s where they’d be. What’s dear to you, you
understand, right?” Heero’s voice was sharp.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Couldn’t you ask
first?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero barked out
a laugh. “I don’t see the point. You didn’t ask me either before you crawled on
top of my boyfriend.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“You mean that
incident from yesterday?!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero sharply
turned his head and looked at Quatre, almost challenging. “Was there any other
incident I should know about?”
already went through that,” he hissed. “And also, I’d like you to know that it
was Duo who took the initiative, not me!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero grinned and
tapped Quatre softly on the shoulder. “Sure it was, Quatre. Sure it was.” He
left Quatre to the further inspection of his car and went upstairs, heading
straight for Trowa’s room. Knocking on the door, he
waited for a reply.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Who is it?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“It’s me, Heero.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Come in.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>When he entered,
he found Trowa with a controller in hand and staring
intently at the TV screen. His upper body moved according to the race cars on
the screen.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Didn’t know you
liked gaming?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Just on that
moment, Trowa crashed his car against another. He
looked triumphant, and in a weird way, sadistic. “Yeah well,” he shrugged.
“What do you want?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero sat next to
him on the bed. “Just wanted to know how you were doing. I didn’t see you at
breakfast this morning.”
bed. He sighed. “I didn’t feel like sitting around the table with Quatre and
Duo like nothing had happened.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Yeah, I know how
you feel. It took me quite some courage to show my face downstairs as well. But
we have to figure it out, right? We can’t avoid each other forever.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Yes,”
then it will be the end of our little group. And I don’t want that. It’s just…”
He looked up at the ceiling, and Heero could see that he was having a hard time
processing all that had happened. “Quatre’s so
unreasonable. I love him, Heero, I really do. I’ve been trying to make it
obvious to him. And of course, I had seen that he rebuked my attempts to get
closer to him, but I just thought he was afraid of those feelings, of being in
love, of thinking of me in another way than just a friend. I had never
suspected he didn’t want me. He only has Duo in mind.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero put a
comforting arm around Trowa’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“It hurts so
much, Heero.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“I know.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“And then to
think he even went so far as to… as to seduce Duo into sleeping with him. And
to think I could’ve prevented it by saying ‘No Duo, let me take those pastries
up to Quatre’s room’. But no, I let him go.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“
Duo just had to control his hormones.”
like Quatre’s such an innocent.
he looks at you with those angelic eyes, it’s hard to resist, Heero.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“You also think
Quatre had some hand in it?”
course.
bit of an argument. I think that might’ve influenced him. He was tired of you
regarding him as your property, and if you were jealous all the time, I think
he just wanted to give you a real reason to be jealous. I know it sounds a bit
farfetched, but the human mind is a strange thing, Heero.” He turned his head
to look at Heero. “But that’s over now Heero. He’s had his revenge, and now I
think he’s truly sorry about what he’s done. He’s a wreck, Heero. You two had
such a wonderful relationship. I think it would be foolish to throw it all
away.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero could sense
the deeper meaning in what Trowa said, could see it
in his eyes, the regret of not having what he and Duo had.
grinned. “Would you just look at us? Two pitiful losers who
don’t know what to do with their lovers.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Yeah,” Heero
smiled. “But if it’s any consolation, Duo didn’t go through with it.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“What do you
mean?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“If I have to
believe him, and I do, he stopped just in time.” Heero hugged
gasped and sharply turned his head. “Really?!” His
mouth hung open while he watched Heero nodding. Then he stared blankly ahead
for a moment. “I think I have a newfound respect for Duo.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero laughed.
“Say Trowa, you mind if I play with you?” he said,
nodding towards the controller.
of course not.”
gaming.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Heero shrugged
and grinned. “Just need to crash a few cars of my own.”
plugged the controller in and restarted the game. “So, what car are you gonna
pick?”
“A black Jaguar.”style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>
To be continued…
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Next chapter:
brings Quatre some unpleasant news, at least for Quatre, and the boy loses all
control.
Preview:
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Quatre had the
idea that the conversation was just repeating itself. They kept running in
circles. “All fun and games, right?” Quatre stared into Duo’s face; there was
something in his eyes. It was almost as if he was grinning, laughing at him.
Something wasn’t right here. Duo must’ve been stronger than that. “Why don’t
you just take the key? You know where it is?”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Why don’t I just
throw you off my lap?” And he proceeded with doing just that. He had quickly
overpowered Quatre, and held him down on the bed.
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“What? Don’t you
want to go after Heero? He must be pretty pissed off!”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“That won’t be
necessary.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Quatre struggled,
but Duo had his wrists firmly pinned to the mattress. “How do you mean?
I taught him a thing or two about picking a lock.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>Quatre looked at
the door in panic and indeed heard Heero fiddling with the lock from the
outside. “You were buying time.”
style='font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Indeed, I was.”
Every trace of self-assuredness in Quatre’s
attitude was completely gone. The difference a locked or unlocked door could
make.