Saiyan Enlightenment
26
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Saiyan
Enlightenment
Sequel to The Meaning of
Pride
Card
Disclaimers and Warnings and Author’s Snarky
Comments:
that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some people started reading
it, not knowing what it was and they’ll keep reading it forever just because
this is the fic that never ends…
Goku’s quest to get Vegeta sweaty and naked (and trapped under him while he had
his wicked way with him.)
you should go read MoP.
sex and fighting for ‘dominance.’ As
well as LEMONS. Homosexuality (two male
Saiyans boinking (having sex), actually four, because Trunks & Goten get
laid too) Dirty language probably.
change (let us all pray it’ll change) but he held on to his ‘assness’ for forty
chapters in MoP, I don’t see him
parting with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***
There
was the disbelief. Heavy, horrible,
painful disbelief. Shock.
Not anger and as he shook and trembled and tried to breath he was
starting to think that just maybe he would never ever feel anger again.
him. To never bery.
if he couldn’t get angry he had no power.
Didn’t
deserve power.
Shouldn’t
have power.
Power
corrupted after all. Wasn’t that the
saying? Absolute power corrupts
absolutely? He didn’t want to be
corrupted. He didn’t want to die.
attacked his own child. More than
attacked him, hurt him. Really hurt him.
It wasn’t
right.
It
was wrong.
He
had hurt his own child. And why?
He felt that question screaming in his mind and his chest and the
trembling reached a feverish pitch. He
felt like the whole universe was crashing down on him.
knuckled were sore. He had hurt his own
child.
He
had wanted to kill him.
Kill
Gohan.
Gohan
was his son.
His
baby. He remembered holding Gohan, a
long time ago. Long before this
started, long before he had even known about Vegeta, long before anything had
gotten so fucked up. He remembered
holding his child, cradling him and smiling and listening to Chichi talk about
what they were going to do with him.
Remembered how cute Gohan had been once, how shy he had been.
Remembered
loving Gohan.
And
today he tried to kill him.
For
what?
Nothing.
Because he had already been pissed off.
Because he hadn’t been sleeping.
Because he had just been fighting, learning to control the impulse to
claim and destroy whatever he touched.
And he was pissed at his ignorant son for not catching up with the
thoughts. Who cared who fucked who?
No.
/spa/span>He
wasn’t nearly the same. Goku wouldn’t
ever have hurt his own child. Not even
if it was his life or Gohan’s. He would
have died for his child. Even before,
even when Gohan hated him and glared at him and said horrible things about
Vegeta, he would have died for his child.
Gladly. If it meant that Gohan
could live.
What
a great fucking job he did today, huh?
Trembled
until his muscles ached and he thought his heart had stopped beating, didn’t
even realize it was thudding so hard against his breast bone it started to feel
bruised. Couldn’t feel his own breaths,
felt only that crushing sense of something that wasn’t real.
Wondered
if Vegeta was there. Because he
couldn’t ohis his eyes. Didn’t want them
open, didn’t need them open.
His
hands were bruised from beating his own child.
He had hurt Gohan. Hurt
Vegeta.
He
was horrible. pan>pan>He was wrong.
He
was everything he had fought against the whole of his life and he couldn’t
stand the thought of sitting here with Vegeta and knowing that even if he has
been stopped, even if Vegeta did stop him, the other man didn’t think he had
done anything wrong. He had such guilt
in his chest, and he needed someone to tell him that he should be
guilty. He should feel bad.
Strange.
He
wd tod to see Gohan more than he wanted anything at the moment.
have felt the tears in his eyes if not for the panic that gripped him so
tightly he had actually stopped breathing.
Which
was fine.
He
could die.
He
should die, after all. Dangerous
animals weren’t allowed to live.
No. That wasn’t true.
style="mso-spacerun: yes"> That’s what he did.
from happening because he always wanted to know ‘what if’ what if they got
stronger, what if they got faster? What
if they were actually a challenge?
Could he defeat them?
He
had beaten his son today. Beaten him
until he fell to his knees and didn’t fight back.
What
kind of father was he?
What
kind of thing did that?
He
felt the blackness on the edge of his vision closing in, and knew that it was
because he wasn’t breathing. Wasn’t too
concerned with it. Just the clawing
need to do something or nothing or the sense that he had failed himself so
brilliantly this time that there was no way to undo what he had done and he had
really lost Gohan forever. He never
wanted that. He wanted Gohan to realize
that what Goku had been doing with Vegeta wasn’t wrong, but not to hurt him.
Never
to hurt his own son.
~~~***
“Hey!”
can sense your feelings’ bullshit. Or
his grand-pappy’s precognition. Because
he could feel it falling into little bitty pieces and they were starting to
blow apart. He ran after Gohan.
head down. “HEY ASSHOLE!” Goten
amedamed, rushed forward, “I’m your brother you know.”
looked up at him.
“Right,”
he said, “I’m sorry about your head.”
“Who
gives a fuck about my head?” Goten said, “Look, I’m sorry that I never told you
about me and Trunks. I didn’t realize I
hadn’t said something.”
“Doesn’t
matter.”
“DOESN’T
MATTER?!” Goten shouted. Watched his
brother flinch, watched the shrug of indifference, and he moved to step around
Goten to keep walking nowhere, but Goten caught him by the arm and in
retaliation he got a punch in he head.
A well-aimed one that lacked any real power. It was a punch of panic or shock or something purely reactive and
nothing else.
“Don’t
touch me,” Gohan whispered. Shook his
head and uncurled his fist, “Sorry.”
Then moved to keep walking away, and that simple thing was probably more
devastating than anything else. Because
somewhere along the line he had forgotten that Gohan had always been his
brother, had been there for him for years and years longer than his father, and
he had sided on one side of it with blind devotion (great going Goten) without
looking at the other. Hadn’t even
really cared when he found out that Gohan had been so upset about their mother.
“Gohan,”
he said. Stood there with his hands
down by his sides and felt weak. Stupid.
Like he’d fucked up something so badly that he’d never get it set
straight again, and when that had happened when he was little he always went to
Gohan. They hadn’t been super close,
but besides Vegeta, Gohan was the only one he felt was worthy of looking up
walking. “Forget everything else.
“What
do you want Goten?”
“Do
you hate me now?” he asked, a little voice, the most important question.
Second most important question.
The first he was afraid to ask.
“No.”
either. But DAMMIT,” he shouted, “I’m
fucking human, alright. I screwed up.
Tien got killed because of me.
Because I gave him a damn excuse to hate Vegeta more.
had that was always there and she just DIED.
Excuse the hell out of me for forgetting that our father spent most of
his life dead and forgot that his wife loved him for all those years.
starts fucking with Vegeta a month after she was dead.”
his anger, but it was tired anger. And it
burned out quickly. “I’m sick of it,”
he said, “I’m done. I think the point
has been proved more than once that I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.
“Is what a Saiyan is, I don’t want to be one.”
He
felt numb. That’s what it was.
Not his fingers or his hands or his arms. Not the bruise on his face that should have been aching.
“I
don’t want you to feel sorry for me,” Gohan said, “I screwed up and I deserve
whatever. I got it.”
“But…”
“Like
I told Trunks, I’m sorry. I…
I didn’t know you two were together.
I thought. I don’t know.
Somehow
defending their father at this point seemed like a lost cause.
intelligent thought, something that seemed real and found that it wasn’t
happening. Opened his mouth and tried to
speak. “Where are you going?”
“Home,”
he said, “Eventually.”
“I’m
hungry,” Goten said impulsively, “Want to get something to eat?”
the fact that he was pink-tinted from the blood. “Or something to wear?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~******
Goten: It’s
happening.
Vegeta: What?
Goten: *whispers
* She’s starting to feel bad for Gohan.
Vegeta: And?
Trunks:spanspan>That’s
never good.
Vegeta: And this
*points at Goku hyperventilating * is worse.
Goten: *nod *
SaiyajinNeko:
Ah.
upset though, he probably could use a hug.
EleneK:
Yeah.
really bad for abusing Gohan when he wasn’t even being an ass.
in trouble (even if we know he wasn’t) and this time (at least) he didn’t
deserve to get hurt for it. *sigh
* Anyway, Goten’s not really mad at his
brother, he’s just annoyed because he got kicked in the head when nothing bad
was happening.
Jaygoose:
*vaguely
shrugs * I don’t know.
Webtester 01:
I
hate that line 11 thing. *growl *
getting a whole bunch of hits. *looks
around and tries to figure out if this is true *
Macha:
Oh.
I almost forgot about the folks’ houses. *sweat drop * You’re
right. Oi. And yeah, Vegeta is ballsy.
I would have kissed Goten. *nods
* Of course, not if I was going to get
attacked for it.< sty style="mso-spacerun: yes"> *scratches head *
Mechanical Butterfly:
Ah.
Rather pleased that I made you hate him, actually, that means I got my
goal accomplished perfectly. Just
think, none of this story would have been here if not for that flying plot
twist you tossed in all those…weeks ago.