Scene One - Five: Gundam Wing After Dekim
Scene Three: Jaded Dreams
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Scene
Three: Jaded Dreams
a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm
farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants
to me
at
supposed to be?”
strong young woman, a strong leader. She
knew her mind, what she hoped to accomplish during peace and for the future.
accomplish, that the peace would be secure gh tgh to stand on its own with only
occasional guidance from her. A worthy
goal for one so young.
thought that such a day could come and that essentially she and the late Treize
Khushrenada were attempting the same end goal.
Treize had certainly been an inspiration to many, herself included
although there were few who could see his mark upon her.
understanding of her goals and saw more in her than those who were oblivious to
his imprint upon her. He was so woefully
misunderstood by so many and she was hopeful that one day most of the people
would see what he had done for them.
They had the chance to rewrite policies that were beneficial to the
people, not the rulers.
Relena mused thoughtfully nibbling on the end of a pen.
would be so gigantic, that his dreams and visions would guide so many of us.’
turmoil, so much deviousness. Many of
the old hands wondered why such a young girl was in their midst and how she had
managed to last so long. All of them
thought she would get tired of playing grown-up, tshe she would fold and
break. But she was a Peacecraft and that
name still meant something, and she was a Darlian a name that carried a weight
of its own. She would not stop now.
innocent to play on the same level, thought she was unskilled and that she
lacked the proper instincts.
corrupt game,’ Relena smoothed her light blue skirt out.
can.’
any of them. But she knew her place,
knew there were certain boundaries that even she could not overstep.
but not when things were just becoming stable again.
by her side during events like this.
Relena did not trust any of the politicians who had had a hand in
Dorothy’s arrest, but it was hard to tell exactly who she could trust.
trusted her. Relena needed her to keep
on fighting because she knew that she could not have Heero, knew that all too
well.
things would not work out the way she had dreamed.
fated to end badly. There was no such
thing as a fairy tale ending for her.
The job of being a princess did not guarantee one and her job would
never be over so there was not even time for a happy ending.
he was it might have worked. But he too
had a role to play, a role as important as her own and it did not include a
happy ending with her. There was no
escape from their respective roles and there never would be.
to the people and she could not simply ignore their needs.
were did not matter. Her personal dreams
would never come into play, would never blossom.
Relena was no different, the difference was that there was no way she could
even hope to make them reality.
are meant to be jaded Miss Relena,’ Dorothy had said to her when they had been
alone just after the Dekim Barton uprising.
the older blond by her side. ‘Dreams are
meant to be broken?’
of her long flowing and slightly dirty hair back over her shoulder.
Dreams like yours don’t ever break, not completely.
Relena-sama, you will too.’
answered with a hollow eyed look.
her. ‘Perhaps someday you will be, a few
years down the road when you’ve seen more than you already have.
sighed. ‘The fairy tale you were
expecting had only changed into a tragic love story.
understanding fully what Dorothy was saying to her.
often she did not figure them out until later but she thought that she would
understand this one soon enough.
confidently.
Dorothy,” Relena whispered to the quiet and still room.
but even that will serve to jade me.”
tucked away in her fancy hotel room.
Tomorrow she had important and crucial plans to carry out.
tell him before he heard them from anyone else.
And that meant she had to keep them all away, even the other
Pilots. She had the power and she would
use it.
people. She would draw them to her and
make them listen to her words so that they would realize what she was trying to
accomplish on their behalf. She would be
able to mend what was broken and build new trusts, foundations, hopes and
futures. She knew all of this and this
knowledge did not come without its price.
It meant that she could not have Heero, that dream was forever beyond
her reach, within sight certainly but utterly unattainable.
&np>
that?’ She asked herself, wanting the answer to be yes but knowing that nothing
was certain.
he had to play. It was true, he was her
knight in shining armor come to rescue her but he was not her prince.
a savior for the people. Heero would build
the strength, be a model for it, and he would fight the evils that threatened
the peace. But he could not love
her. She had to make sure of that.
against my own heart like this,’ Relena thought sadly as she carefully went
through several choices of outfits for tomorrow.
my dreams turn jaded. That I would
attempt to destroy them before they even began.’
confidant. Heero Yuy could not be
allowed to love her because that love would weaken her and that was something
she could not afford. Therefore she had
to close that chapter of her life while she still had the nerve to go through
with it, that meant no interruptions or she would fail.
voice from behind her.
to see Dorothy leaning coolly against the doorframe, watching her with a
knowing smirk on her face. It was only
her personal secretary Aimee Barnes.
woman a smile, she had made it a point to know all the people who worked under
her.
though. Aimee had worked for her
adoptive father and had even known her birth father.
explicitly, even with a gun leveled at her head.
again if it could be avoided.
requested that I make on the new colony still undergoing construction,” Aimee
walked forward and Relena saw the series of folders the older woman had tucked
safely and securely under her arm. “I
thought you should see them right away.
There’s something strange but I can’t put my finger on exactly what it
is. I’m sure you’ll have better luck.”
carefully at the forty-two year old brown haired woman.
company, Granger Fields,” Aimee said.
“Is getting a lot of funds. But
most of them are anonymous.”
Relena commented. “But worth
investigating. Sit down Aimee, if you’re
not busy.”
upholstered chairs and Aimee copied her example in the matching chair a few
feet from her own. Relena enjoyed the
small informalities that the two of them were able to share when no one else
was around. In a way Aimee was very much
like a god mother or an aunt to her. She
was always glad when the older woman accompanied her on trips or felt
comfortable enough to give her a hug or gentle squeeze at the end of the
stressful day. There were few people who
risked that sort of familiarity with the former Queen of the World.
even though she was surrounded by people.
Aimee was able to help alleviate that ache with her diligent care.
crossed her ankles and folded her hands in her lap.
accounted for. But on the official forms
and taxes everything is accounted. It’s
on the other set of paperwork that the numbers are all wrong.”
asked, her brow creasing in concern.
friend that he had,” Aimee said. “His
friend said that his name was Mr. Jenkins and that he was good friends with Mr.
Yuy. I spoke to him about this three
months ago because Mr. Yuy told me to contact him if I ever needed help getting
any information about the colonies. Mr.
Yuy said he was an expert and had a lot of connections.
dead end but some of the memos I had hinted at something more.
secure line no less because he’s a very suspicious man.
said he had a friend who knew a lot about Granger Fields construction
company. I didn’t expect him to call
back with anything useful but two weeks ago he called and said he was sending
me a package with information on the Granger company.
while to get to me but it came this morning.”
mentioning a Mr. Jenkins,” Relena felt uncomfortable.
other Pilots.”
through Duo Maxwell,” Aimee gave her employer a look of understanding.
man very well but that he could get what I needed.
came from Mr. Jenkins.”
knee with a finger. “So, what did the
papers that Mr. Jenkins sent to you say?”
money into something else,” Aimee answered promptly.
it looks like we have to use what he gave us.”
disappeared. She did not want to know how
he had gotten the information ane she shuddered to think that it may have cost
him his life or the lives of others. But
he probably knew what he was doing when he got the information and when he sent
it.
smiled. “I’ll look at the papers
tonight.”
to leave. “You have an early morning
tomorrow. You wanted to be at the
hospital by eight.”
shooed Aimee away with a wave of her hand.
“You worry too much. I’ll speak
with you tomorrow.”
protest. She left Relena alone to do as
she wished.
folders over to her bed, setting them towards the center so they would not
spill onto the floor. She would read
them after she was more comfortable and ready to relax without fear of
wrinkling her skirt.
skirt and slid it down over her slim hips until it pooled at her feet.
matching shoes off to the side somewhere.
Those she would retrieve in the morning but for now she would allow
herself to make a little mess of her things.
She slipped off her blue jacket, draping it over the back of the chair
and placing the skirt neatly on the seat.< sty style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
She continued undressing, haphazardly throwing her clothing about the
floor, a simple indulgence that she rarely partook in and only when she was
flustered or felt the need to rebel.
Relena put on her silk pajamas, a pant and shirt set that had elegant
collars and cuffs. The pajamas were
practical and not at all seductive because she had an image to maintain.
indulgence.
indulgences, like silk pajamas, now and then?
She certainly could not dress in just anything she wanted.
maintained. Usually she did not mind
dressing conservatively, she rather liked it.
Sometimes, especially during the night, she liked to imagine that she
could wear anything she wanted, be anything she wanted.
‘A fools dream,’ She accused herself
half-heartedly. ‘A simple on too.
It was what she always told herself on nights like
this. That she would have the time to do
as she wished later when the peace was stable and strong.
desires every time she thought of rebelling and just walking away from her
obligations. Once she had even gone so
far as to think of packing up and going but she never had.
Idly Relena went and picked up the discarded
clothing that was lying on the floor.
The blouse joined the skirt on the chair to keep it from getting
wrinkled. But she left the shoes sitting
in the corner outside the closet. Sitting
outside the closet for one night never hurt a pair of shoes, at least not in
her memory. And shoes were not where her
concerns lay.
She slid under the covers on one side of the bed,
propping the pillows up so that she was sitting upright in the mammoth
bed. She reached for the top folder and
opened it, immediately skimming expertly through the pages therein.
briefly as well, they would keep until tomorrow when she had the energy for an
in depth analysis of them. Skimming the
pages though only increased her curiosity and worry.
credibility or how he had gotten such valuable information, her concern had
moved on to what Granger Fields was trying to hide.
maddening at what they suggested but they never came right out and said what
exactly was being hidden. Relena wished
there was more information. When she
moved onto the next folder she began to get queasy, she felt the bile rise up
from her stomach and creep into the back of her throat.
Hurriedly she placed the folder on the nightstand
and raced to the bathroom. She threw up
into the sink, clutching the sides of it as her knees began to become wobbly
from all the retching. She rinsed out
her mouth and the sink, dropping onto the plush bath rug.
‘It cannot be,’ She repeated over and over as her
mantra. ‘It cannot be.’
Peace had been restored, businesses were thriving
and prospering. There was no reason for
them to partake in this madness. There
was no reason to start another uprising, or worse, another war.n
sn
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But there were only hints of this, nothing
concrete. It was driving her mad with
the need to have something solid, make it real or not real.
revealed nothing of use. This worried
her perhaps more than it should have.
There was only one viable option for her to
take. The thought of it made her stomach
churn with uncertainty and the feeling of the burn in the back of her throat
returned but slowly dissipated. She
would need help, it would never do for her to send her own peoploopiooping
around, people who had not the skill or experience.
of expertise and for the peace he would help her.
the demons that were gathering.
Relena slept little that night and when she did
manage to close her eyes she had visions of another war starting and it was
because of her failures. But she had no
way of knowing that this would turn into a war, still it would be her
fault. She would not let that happen
while she still had the power and influence to alter things.
The next morning David Calhoun, her head of
security, drove her to the hospital.
“Are you sure it’s wise to keep his friends from him
Miss Peacecraft?” David asked glancing at her in the rear view mirror.
“It’s a matter of world wide security David,” Relena
replied evenly. “No one else can know
what I’ll be asking of Heero. And I
can’t afford to loose my nerve.”
“What world wide situation is there now?” David
returned his attention to the road.
“I can’t say much David,” Relena sighed.
in the next few years. I have to stop it
now. Heero is the one who will be able
to get the information that I need to solve this problem without
bloodshed. Or he’ll be the one to stop
it if I can’t. No one else can interfere
in this.”
clasclass=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'>“Very well Miss Peacecraft,” David finally
agreed. “I’ll help you out in this
matter. I’ll have some of my men in the
hospital and they’ll screen everyone coming and going.
floor and keep guards outside Yuy’s room.”
“Thank you,” Relena smiled at him.
“I’m just doing my job,” David mumbled.
Relena knew that she was coming off sounding like a
foolish girl but this was serious. She
could not risk anyone else finding out about this mess, her power was at stake
here. If this leaked to the press wit
the
the next few months no one would bother to listen to her anymore and without
her the peace would falter. As a
Peacecraft it was her duty to see that such a thing never happened, it rested
on her shoulders. In no way would she
jeopardize the peace and everything else that the Gundam Pilots and Preventers
had worked so hard to achieve. She would
not risk what she had been given.
It sounded asinine to her, that the peace depended
on one person. But that was the truth,
the weakness of it all. The people saw
her as the true symbol of the peace and if she was not there for them they
would not know who to believe. Everyone
believed Relena told the truth as she knew it.
‘Dorothy would laugh at me for this,’ Relena thought
as she stepped out of the car and walked into the hospital followed closely by
David. ‘I know she would.’
Relena was impeccably dressed, as she always
was. She was wearing a green pant suit,
something Aimee had helped her to pick out in the morning.
amongst the other people in the main lobby but she did not notice, completely
intent on her task. People stopped and
stared at her, recognizing her as the former Queen of the World and as the
current Vice-Foreign Minister, but no one dared to approach.
knowing exactly where she needed to go and exactly how to get there.
she already knew what Heero’s room number was.
‘The sound of my voice might just wake him up,’ Relena
foolishly blushed. ‘Dorothy would laugh at me for that, I can almost hear her
mocking laughter ringing in my ears now. She would be right too and probably
tell me I’m getting my fair tales mixed up again. This seems almost like
Sleeping Beauty.’
The elevator doors closed on her and David, she
repressed the urge to give a sigh of relief. Composure was necessary at all
times with everyone watching her in her glass bowl. The elevator moved upwards
after a jerky start. She was prepared to meet her destiny or face utter ruin.
How much different could it be than what had happened a few days ago?
Relena easily gained access to Heero’s room even
though she was not on the approved list to be admitted. But being as famous as
she was no one thought otherwise. They just let her waltz right into the
hospital and assume command. Her reputation preceded her and for one of the few
handful of times she was not upset to be so easily recognized. Fame had its ups
and downs and this was one of the ups. Still, she could not help the little
twinge of guilt from what she was going to do, deny all his friends access to
him, even the authorities. But Relena Peacecraft was nothing but determined and
in her own way she was on a mission just as vital as any Gundam Pilot mission,
or so she told herself.
"Hello Heero," She spoke softly to him as
David closed the door behind her, leaving her in privacy with the comatose
Gundam Pilot. "It’s said that coma victims can often remember when they
are spoken to, I hope that you remember this." She took a deep breath to
steady her shaking hands and racing heart. "I do love you," Relena
confessed. "You probably knew that. I know that you don’t love me, you
might care but you don’t love me a’m a’m actually glad about that Heero.
"Dorothy was right about us, you know. Things
would never have worked, for once the princess doesn’t get her fairy tale
ending, her happily ever after. I’m only good as a symbol for the peace, aren’t
I Heero? But that’s all right I suppose, it makes things less distracting.
"Do you remember when we first met? I was such
a stupid and foolish little girl. I believed that you were my strength, that I
needed you for your strength. I had no idea what I was involving myself in and
when I realized just how big the Pilots roles were, well, I knew that I could
help. I always thought during that time that you would come back to me, protect
me and learn to love me. I was such a naïve child and I did things during that
first war I shouldn’t have done, like following you around so much.
"When you wake up there’s something I need you
to do for me. I need you to save me again, the peace I mean. There’s something
wrong and you’re the only one I trust to help me in this. I need you Heero, the
world needs you. The rest of this conversation can wait until you’re awake,
which should be in a month according to the doctors. Come back soon
Heero."
Making her little speech, even if Heero was
comatose, made the situation more real to her. It cemented the dire need that
she had and the seriousness of the situation. And either Heero would hher
her
or he would turn his back and walk away. Ifwalkwalked away she hoped to find
another way to diffuse the situation but she knew that she would need Dorothy
by her side. Dorothy always saw things so differently from her own point of
view, always helped her to clarify things and get to the heart of the matter.
Truthfully Relena did not really know what she was
doing, if she was doing the right thing. She had no idea how to compete against
a military threat which was why she needed Heero. A part of her told her that
she should alert Une but another part told her not to. If Une knew things could
escalate beyond her control and the people at the top of this might get away
just as they had done the first two times. Relena would not let it happen a
third. There had been enough blood spilled in her lifetime and it pained her to
know that there might be even more. It sickened her to think that some of those
she had worked on peace treaties and other policies with were partially
responsible for all those deaths during the uprising and for the start and
continuation of war. They were the people who would be the hardest to find and
to catch but Heero could do it, she believed in him.
Heero Yuy was the perfect tool to bring them down
permanently. He was the only one she trusted enough to work directly for her,
to not betray her. She did trust the other Pilots as well, most of them anyway.
Duo Maxwell would never understand her position in this, why she had to keep any
involvement of herself hidden and he talked too much. Quatre Winner would
understand her position but he had his own position to worry about. Chang Wufei
was too stubborn and moralistic for her needs, he might also betray her and he
would most certainly look down upon her. Trowa Barton, she could never read
him, never know what he was thinking and that was dangerous. Only Heero would
do for her mission.
And now, a troubled dream was all she had left to
cling to in the middle of the night. A might have been was her only safe harbor
in the coming storm, her only refuge and hope.
‘Dorothy might be right after all,’ Relena smiled
sadly to herself trying to put back together the pieces of a lost chance into
something new. ‘I still have a few years until I’m the one who’s jaded. For now
that role belongs to the fighters of the wars, to Heero, not me.’
Relena Darlian Peacecraft was only the princess who
led the picture perfect life and kept everything running smoothly, leading the
way to peace. She was the ultimate symbol, no room for imperfection or love.
And as a Peacecraft and Darlian it was up to her to carry out her birth and
adoptive father’s legacies, to live up to their image by making it her image.
She belonged solely to the peace and the people, all she had for herself were a
bunch of jaded dreams not even good enough to make into reality. Degenerate
things that she would never, could never, have. Her only hope of love was
something unattainable and out of reach.
And at the end of her long, lonely days she could
live with that.