Summary

The next morning they woke up shocked she wasn’t there then they heard voice from below on her cell, “Hey swords. Ya I had an episode; it’s no big deal I swear. Ya I got work to do can’t lay in bed moping, no I think they’re still sleeping. Look I deal my way you know that. Ya just get your butt out of the car and come inside there’s plenty of breakfast, this is my house I do things my way and I know you so get in here already. Took you long enough, chill out. What can they possibly do, this is MY house!”

Dorothy nodded, “True but once they set their mind up to something they’ll do everything they can to do it.”

Relena rolled her eyes, “whatever they have a problem they can deal with me. I have no master/Dom or whatever and I’m not about to start. No you and Hilde can not get pictures, yes I’m sure they’re mad sexy but it’s an invasion of privacy so no.”

Dorothy pouted, “No fair you get to live with 5 sexy males who wear tight leather or nothing at all. Damn it’s not fair. Do they…you know?”

The five were dressed regularly except for collars on the subs and they listened as Relena laughed, “no they don’t act their parts out of the bedroom except for light petting and stuff nothing heavy it’s not Heero turns…I mean Trowa turns Quatre over the back of the couch and paddles his rear.”

Dorothy groaned and glared, “you did that on purpose Lena that was cruel.”

Relena laughed, “I’m sorry it was just so easy. But anyway none of them act their parts maybe the sub wears a collar or a warning glare here and there but nothing that can’t be turned a blind eye towards. So Dorothy turn a blind eye to them this is their relationship not something to gawk at and picture mentally to get your kicks.”

Dorothy nodded, “ya I know but still they’re soo sexy.”

Relena laughed, “Get laid already swords I thought Lee was your boyfriend, what happened?”

Dorothy sighed, “he was weak I won a battle and he flipped. Maybe Hilde and I should go gay.”

Relena laughed so hard, “you and Hilde could never go gay unless you had a very long and thick strap-on. Give it time I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

Dorothy began cracking eggs, “so the guys adore your cooking or do you just give them safe food?”

Relena shrugged, “I give them what they want…well what Duo does and then I go from there. I tried to do research on their cultures but then I got a migraine with all the different traditions and foods and I’m sorry but America does not have a tradition it’s a mix of many which is interesting. I keep trying to get Duo to eat healthier by slowly weaning him off his junk food, yes I love it myself but its not healthy to have nothing but. I mean I bet he’ll get a box of donuts out of the cabinet then pour himself some coffee/juice or his master will but he’ll eat donuts and Quatre will drink tea while Wufei complains he’s out of green tea even though I bought another box he’ll complain it’s not the genuine thing because it came in a box.”

Dorothy laughed, “you totally did Wufei there do him again.”

The five were standing behind and Relena sighed, “I’ll be like, Wufei I just bought you a box of green tea and he’ll be injustice onna that’s no green tea its food coloring dishonorable.”

Dorothy laughed, “That was perfect do Heero.”

Relena took a sip of her orange juice, “I’ll ask Heero what he wants for breakfast and he’ll give no answer so I’ll list a few things and he’ll grunt Hn.”

Dorothy laughed harder, “omg Lena that was perfect. He does grunt. Do Quatre!”

Relena sighed, “Fine I’ll ask him what he wants and he’ll say very nicely and sweetly toast and tea Miss Relena is fine.”

Dorothy laughed, “Yes! That’s him exactly damn girl you’ve been hanging around them too long.”

Relena shrugged, “you’ve got to know them because you have to adlib a lot to meet their needs.”

Dorothy laughed, “Do Maxwell!”

Relena pretended she was hyper, “Hey Jousan are there any more donuts I bet Wu-man would like some he needs some sugar to dissolve that stick up his arse. Hey Hee-chan you know you should talk more. Quat think colonel Une will let us have some fun?”

Dorothy stirred the eggs so they were firming up, “that was soo him. Do Trowa, I’d like to see how you can do him.”

Relena bowed her head trying to stifle her giggles, “fine but don’t make fun of me…” she took her hair down from her French twist then groaned, “damn all that work wasted…ugh. Ok here’s a conversation with Trowa when he’s happy don’t piss him off it’s not pretty.”

Dorothy snorted and Relena shook her head, “ok I’ll ask him what he wants for breakfast and he’ll give no response so then I’ll list some things and I swear his eyes glimmer when he likes it and if not he hasn’t complained yet as for angry. Damn can he shout…same with pleasure he’s very vocal like Yuy.”

Dorothy laughed, “oh man you’re amazing so do they know you?”

Relena shrugged, “I guess they could probably act how I pretended.” Relena clasped her hands together looking like she was going to plead, “Heeeero! Come and kill me!”

Dorothy almost fell over laughing and turned the stove off, “Are you trying to make me burn myself? What else?”

Relena snorted, “Hmm… oh I know.” She pretended she was going to shake Dorothy’s hand, “he didn’t see this one…but…my name…my name is Relena Dorlian pleased to meet you.” She curtsied and Dorothy fell out of her chair. Relena rolled her eyes and got out bread then put them in the toaster, “oh please like you were any better…miss psycho.”

Dorothy jumped up insulted, “I was not a psycho.”

Relena looked at the ceiling as if planes or something was flying overhead, “Hurry up and start this war!”

Dorothy blushed, “ok fine so I was a little psycho at least I wasn’t a priss. I bet you can’t stand the color any more.”

Relena nodded, “yep pink is evil which was why Pagan made the limo that color as punishment not to mention Mrs. Dorlian thought it would be lady like. Ugh you don’t know how many times Pagan caught me sneaking out with his bike/car.”

Dorothy nodded, “ya you sure can eat up the road I mean I don’t know anyone who’s faster maybe one of the pilots but I doubt it.”

Relena sighed and picked up the toast as it popped and put it on a plate, “get the butter for me.”

Dorothy nodded, “margarine or butter?”

Relena rolled her eyes, “butter margarine is for cooking that’s why its in sticks you only use it if your desperate cause you’re out of butter or if people don’t like butter and they haven’t had a problem yet so we’ll stick to routine.”

Dorothy nodded, “ok so I’ll make your coffee because that’s all I know. How can you know how to make their drinks?”

Relena shrugged, “you see them do it enough times and it becomes 2nd nature believe me I once made Heero’s drink for myself and when I went to drink it I spit it out soo fast…yuck he has no sugar and no crème just like Trowa. And Quatre ugh his tea is like glue and he puts milk and sugar in it. Wufei’s the same only its green tea he has to have milk, sugar, and sometimes if he’s getting a bit sick he’ll put honey in it. I think Duo’s the only one I’d ever drink and that’s just soda, orange juice, or milk.”

Dorothy nodded, “so do they know what you drink when you’re in pain or getting sick?”

Relena shrugged, “probably not but it’s not their job to know it’s mine I made a promise to Yuy and I intend to keep it, though it affects all of them.”

Dorothy nodded, “hmm so who makes sure you’re happy?”

Relena sighed, “I’m happy when they are now…let’s see, what am I missing.”

Heero and Trowa moved behind her and when Relena asked her something a question Heero spoke, “Hai Lena everything is ready but maybe I should grunt my affirmative.”

Relena blushed then glared at Dorothy who was trying unsuccessfully to stifle her giggles Relena stuck her tongue at Dorothy, “shut up. So you heard that…well it’s true I’m only going by my observations so sue me now sit down and eat or whatever. I think we’re out of donuts so I’ll pick some up after work.”

Trowa spoke, “So Lena you seem to know us pretty well how about filling us in on a background of you?”

Relena sat next to Dorothy across from the others so they were near their partners and pulled Dorothy back onto her chair so she didn’t fall off when she noticed the collars, “I was born in Ireland raised in Cinq I have a brother and a cousin…”

Wufei poked his sandwich curiously, “onna?”

Relena rolled her eyes and picked hers up opened it then rummaged in the fridge and poured some ketchup on her eggs then pepper then closed it and ate, “it’s an egg sandwich its good try it before you judge Chang.”

Wufei took a bit and nodded that he liked and continued so the others did as well and Duo grinned, “Jousan let’s have this every morning it beats donuts any day.”

Relena glanced at Dorothy and she mock glared at Duo then slammed a few bills on the table, “I thought you said he was a junk food junkie like you.”

Relena shrugged innocently, “no one is as bad as me swords I thought you knew, my mistake.”

Dorothy laughed then snatched her coffee away, “no more coffee this is your 2nd cup and you’ve been without for how long?”

Relena rolled her eyes, “a week now give me the damn cup before I take Heero’s and dump it on your head.”

Dorothy smirked, “I’d like to see you do that.”

Relena shrugged and quickly snatched Heero’s cup away and began making her way to Dorothy who quickly handed it over and Relena returned Heero’s cup to him then sat down and began drinking but stopped half-way and gave it to Dorothy who greedily gulped it down, “mmm French vanilla cappuccino. You sure you can get through the day without it?”

Relena nodded, “Dee I’d rather be a bitch then have a migraine cause I had too much coffee besides I’m dealing with idiots they deserve an attitude.”

Dorothy nodded, “especially that bitch Sylvia. Can you believe there are fools who fall for her act?”

Heero’s eyes had gone cold as did the others since they liked her and Wufei was about to make a comment when Relena nodded, “ya I was soo tempted to slap that bitch for making Marimeia cry she totally told her she was evil and deserved a life of pain I was soo tempted to prove to everyone there I no longer believe in total pacifism. You know Marimeia still won’t go anywhere near her hell she runs the second she sees her.

I feel like puking when I see these fools just fall at her feet. I mean she doesn’t do her job *I* do cause she’s too busy getting laid or giving it.”

Dorothy nodded, “Ya and did you hear what she did to Sally and Hilde?”

Relena nodded, “Ya that bitch! Damn I’d like to shoot her but she’s the new figure head so what can I do?”

Dorothy nodded, “Hai you could poison her food just so she gets sick nothing life threatening. I mean she called Sally trash, said no respective hospital would hire her and that’s why she was working for Preventers instead of well known hospital.”

Relena nodded, “I know I watched as Noin held her back and then what she said to Hilde oh man it took all my strength to hold that pixie back! Persephone was in full swing and she was about to go ‘goddess of death’ on Noventa’s ass!”

Dorothy nodded, “oh I bet you could do her better…”

Relena nodded, “Oh so you’re an orphan…how…nice. You’re single? Well that’s no surprise a woman like yourself it would be hard. Your boyfriend turned gay…how sad.”

Dorothy nodded, “oh that bitch needs a good swift kick in her snotty tight ass.”

Relena nodded, “ya well at least you don’t deal with her…that’s my bloody job cause I’m the only one who used be a damn diplomat I’d rather go out to the shooting range or the cube but not her office it’s a torture chamber. It’s cruel and unusual punishment that’s illegal.”

Dorothy nodded, “So is kidnapping but you know first hand how that goes. Damn why the hell did you kick me!” Relena’s eyes were dark obsidian shocking the pilots and Dorothy understood, “sure let’s go talk.” They left and the five followed and listened. Dorothy slumped in a chair, “I’m sorry I forgot they always capture you thinking you’re more useful. I’ll never know how you’ve survived I mean the first time we all were and damn we nearly cracked but you’ve been there so many times it comes natural.”

The pilots wondered what was and Relena slumped in a chair in front and to the side of the couch, “Rape and torture is never natural swords but it’s just flesh. The mind and soul I’m told can’t be touched.”

Dorothy nodded, “ya I bet your roomies would be shocked to know their pacifist princess is actually Preventer Shiva part of the goddess team.”

Relena shrugged, “we work separately they don’t need to know. You know we do dangerous things, things they won’t or can’t and that’s the way it’s going to stay. Has Cathy been through the training?”

Dorothy shook her head, “nope she’s still innocent just as I am you know I haven’t been through all of them.”

Relena nodded, “good then you’re not tainted and bitter I’d suggest you burn them but if you’re curiosity ever gets the better of you and her I have a set and so does Lady Une not to mention all the scientists. It’s basically the same thing Yuy and his pilots went through except instead of just vulgar pictures we get sounds and much more defined basically they got the watered down version. Hilde, Sally, Noin, Lady Une and my self seen it all and let me tell you we cried and vomited through it all but you’re welcome to watch if you think you can handle it.”

Dorothy nodded, “I know you always give this warning but I need to know if anyone is like that monster and his damn room I need to know.”

Relena shook her head, “it’s not a person it’s mankind. If you get lost in all the bad you’ll lose your hope in humanity.”

Dorothy nodded, “I know Cathy and I are going to watch the next tape then we write about what we saw, did you?”

Relena nodded, “ya a lot of good it did. It’s a way for you to cope so you don’t lose yourself in the sorrow and pain and disgust. Remember Dorothy mankind is a lot of things most can be awful but there is good.”

Dorothy nodded, “Hai I know. I remember that all the time when I see a little child out playing with their mother.”

Relena nodded, “ya as long as you remember what you’re fighting for it should be ok. Never forget that humanity may be evil but its also good life is full of gray not just black and white.”

Dorothy nodded, “Hai Lena mind if I ask you a question, you don’t have to answer if it’s too personal?”

Relena smiled, “go ahead and ask.”

Dorothy sighed and blushed, “um…have you ever fantasized about your pilots? I mean even after going through what you did do you ever want them?”

Relena sighed, “Truthfully yes all the time but that’s as far as it can and will go. They’re sexy as hell but they’re all into dominance and submissive and I’ve been through it before and it wasn’t fun or arousing. When Heero or one of the others is ‘punishing’ the other it takes all my will not to run in there and ‘save’ them but over time I’ve gotten used to it. Their relationship is built on trust which is awesome I just don’t trust them…not like that, I can’t.”

Dorothy nodded, “Hai I guess that’s why I keep getting ‘weak’ men so I\'m never dominated again.”

Relena nodded, “maybe I’m no shrink swords. I\'m kinda hoping they forgot about last night but knowing how persistent they’re known for they’re probably biding their time.”

Dorothy sighed, “Yikes you had a nightmare, did you trash your fragile wares?”

Relena nodded, “ya and then I tried to downplay but they wouldn’t let me. I\'m hoping we get sent on a long mission and I can postpone the session.”

Dorothy nodded, “ya but you know she wants you to work with them you’re our leader and the best you can’t keep making excuses sooner or later you’ll run out and then you’ll be thrown into their group.”

Relena groaned, “Ya and I\'m still getting propositioned by aristocrats. Maybe we should pretend to be gay and that way no one will bother us.”

Dorothy laughed, “Don’t think it’ll work Lena. I think I should give Lee a chance and you should give your pilots the same.”

Relena sighed, “Lee is different he’s the guy I set you up with knowing he’d be perfect cause he’s part of my brother’s team and he knows what we’ve been through so he’ll be there to support you and probably push you back when you push him. He acts in stages as do the others first they give you space and act ‘weak’ then if you don’t make a move they do and you’re forced to move to save yourself. He’s not the worse though, the worse is my brother and knowing my grandfather he’s probably talked to him so he’ll probably be showing up soon.” The doorbell rang and Relena stood and headed to open it then turned back to Dorothy, “speak of the devil and he shows up.” She opened it and an attractive blonde walked in and pulled Relena into his arms causing Duo and Heero to experience pangs of jealousy.

Relena closed the door with her hand as she returned his hug, “See Lee never took lessons from Justin here so he’s not as bad as him. Justin meet my best friend Dorothy; Dorothy my brother Justin.”

Justin nodded to her, “normally I would shake your hand or something but I haven’t seen my baby sister in ages so I\'m going to monopolize her time.”

Dorothy laughed, “I can see what you mean Lena.”

Justin glared at Relena who looked innocent, “I didn’t say anything I’m innocent. Now did you eat or do you want to choke down Dorothy’s eggs?”

Dorothy glared, “Hey! The guys liked them!”

Relena laughed, “they haven’t had real food in a while they’re no judge. C’mon swords I\'m teasing let’s go we’ve got work so help yourself but if you burn down my kitchen you’re buying me a new one. Oh and the pilots are into a certain lifestyle so don’t stare and don’t ask questions.”

Justin nodded, “are you ok with their lifestyle?”

Relena nodded, “ya I\'m ok with it because I\'m not involved. Try not to piss them off I don’t want to have to clean blood out of the carpets…it’s so hard to clean.”