I was very, very drunk...

Slanty






Ok people, it’s the next instalment, this
is the part where they’ll all be a tad drunk from all the Harry Potter tequila
shots ^__^

May be some adult concepts in this one, so
you’ve been warned, I’m not sure though, I’ll have to see how it goes. If you’re under 17 you shouldn’t be reading
this ‘cause (a) you wouldn’t fully understand the inner workings of older
peoples’ sick and twisted minds, and (b) certain things are only available to
older people, so that we can feel more privileged and exclusive (‘cause we
weren’t allowed to do stuff when we were younger), so just wait, and then you
can read it.

If you are under 17 and reading this, then
you can’t blame me if you get warped ‘cause I warned you, so there.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, Harry
Potter or anything else I make may references too by accident, so please don’t
sue me, ‘cause I’m poor and actually an all right kind of person… I think O.o

 

Things slant more when you’re drunk…

40 minutes into the Harry Potter film,
Quatre was pissed as a newt (AN: who knows where that analogy came from) and
laying all over Trowa in a drunken yet flirtatious manner. Trowa was nearly as pissed as him, so was
very pleased with the way the situation was unfolding and was tickling Quatre
under the chin.

Wufei was feeling pretty hazy and couldn’t
see straight. Treize, who was not as
pissed as the rest, as he was 24, and therefore quite a bit older, and could
hold his liquor better than 15 year old boys (AN: well you’d hope so anyway),
had taken advantage of Wufei’s state of mind and slipped him onto his lap. Wufei didn’t seem to mind at all, and leaned
into him for support. Treize was
encouraging him to have another drink of tequila, which Wufei took and threw in
the direction of his mouth… it went all over Treize’s left chee
Ze
Zechs and Noin had given up the pretence
that they were just friends and were pashing, quite vigorously, on the floor.

Duo was still drinking from the tequila
bottle every time Harry or Potter was said, and was encouraging Heero to do the
same. He was sloshing the liquor quite
unsteadily into the glasses, as everything was tilting.

“Things slant more when you’re drunk,”
Heero said slowly as he leant to the right a little more.

“Come on dude,” Duo said encouragingo
Ho
Heero, who was leaning slightly to one side. “We can do it, we’re gonna make it
through this fi*hic*ilm.” He poured
Heero another glass of Tequila. The
shot glasses had been abandoned at the point when they found some glass
tumblers in the room.

“Hey, it can be like, you know, a mission,”
Duo said stabbing the air furiously with the top of the tequila bottle.

Heero nodded vigorously at this and picked
up the glass. He toasted it silently
into the air and drank it.

Duo started giggling, “No, dude,” he
chuckled, “you were meant to wait for some one to say Harry Potter.”

Heero started to giggle too, “Oopsies!” he
sang, “I forgot.” (O.o oh my god, Heero giggling and singing O.o)

On the screen someone said, “Potter.”

“No, no, quick, quick,” Duo laughed as he
poured another glass for Heero, “we have to drink, quickly.”

Heero took the glass shakily as he was
still laughing. He was just taking a
gulp as he snorted with laughter for no apparent reason. This set Duo off who spat out his tequila
and started to laugh, a little hysterically.
Heero laughed harder. They were
both doubled up. Tears were streaming
down Duo’s face. They continued for a
full 5 minutes before they calmed down enough to talk.

“I can’t believe you snorted,” Duo said
before he began laughing again. Heero
laughed too.

“Well you were the one who sptat out the
drink,” he pointed out before pouring them both another drink.

Duo snorted, “You just said sptat,” he said
pointing at Heero unsteadily.

“Did not,” Heero said indignantly… before
cracking up.

Duo sniggered, then he frowned as he
remembered something from earlier in the evening. He raised his eyebrows at himself, impressed that he could
remember anything amidst the tequila haze.

“Hey Heero,” he said as he slung his arm
around his friend’s shoulders. Heero
leaned back from him a little and stared hazily into his eyes.

“Hn?” Heero asked before taking a swig of
his drink.

“You said before you were wearing fur
underwear,” Duo said looking away. He
turned back to Heero, “Are you really?” he asked finally whilst flushing slightly.

Heero stared at him for a short while
before a slow and sexy smile spread across his face, “You better believe it,”
he husked. Duo went pinker.

“Do you want to see?” Heero asked quietly,
leaning towards Duo.

“Eep!” Duo squeaked.

“See what?” Trowa asked looking at them, “I
want to see.”

Quatre looked up from his vantage point on
Trowa’s lap.

“You know what I want?” Quatre said slowly
to the group.

“What’s that?” Trowa purred. (AN: just so
you know, any spelling mistakes from here are how the characters are
pronouncing their words, because they’re all wasted.)

“Well,” he said musingly, “I want some
dancing.”

“You know what I want?” Heero said, looking
at Duo for a little while. Duo went
red.

“Whash that?” Wufei slurred, dragging himself
into a more upright position in Treize’s lap.

“I want some more alceehol,” he answered,
over-pronouncing alcohol “and you know what else I want some more beers.”

“Have we had any beers?” Duo asked as he
leant forward and grabbed Zechs’ wig and put it over his hair.

“Does it matter?” Treize asked as he
adjusted Wufei in his lap. Duo thought
about it for a little while then shook his head. This made him dizzy and he slid over into Heero’s lap. Heero looked at him in his lap and raised an
eyebrow. Duo merely smiled and
readjusted the Heero wig.

“Thash all good,” Quatre said, furiously
nodding his head.

Trowa stood up, Quatre slipped off his lap
with a small squeak.

“Mushic” he slurred to the group before
wobbling out the door.

“I want Zechs and Noin to get a room,”
Treize said as he clung to Wufei and watched the couple eat each other.

“Well there are, like, hundreds,” Quatre
muttered.

Everyone went silent and then burst out
laughing.

“Yeah,” Duo said through the laughter, “but
whash ish the likelihood that they’d pick one of the rooems that WE
occuppy!”

They laughed harder. Trowa walked in with a selection of CD’s in
his arms, more tequila, and several bottles of champagne… oh and some beers for
Heero.

“Let em me shee,” Quatre said, as he scrutinized
the pile of CD’s.

“Ooooooooooooooo!” Quatre squealed, “Funky
Divas, funky divas!”

“I’ve gots a song,” Heero piped up.

“Really?” Wufei said swinging his head in
Heero’s direction, which he over judged and went flying out of Treize’s lap and
face first onto the floor. Everyone
stared at him. When he hadn’t moved for
a few minutes, Treize picked him up and put him back into his lap.

“Yeah,” Heero answered simply.

“Shing it for us,” Duo said, grabbing a
champagne bottle and opening it.

“Alright,” Heero said as he stood up. “Quatre may I ushe this table ash a shtage?”

“Yup,” Quatre said, as he settled back into
Trowa’s lap.

Heero tried to scramble onto the table, but
only succeeded in lying partially on it, showing the room most of his fur
underwear.

“Just show us a little more,” Treize
shouted.

Everyone cheered as Heero managed to get
onto the table and stand up. He blushed
slightly before clearing his throat to begin.

Heero opened his mouth wide and started to
sing.

“I’m the only gay Eskimo,” he began.

Everyone burst out laughing.

“Very apropropriate,” Duo yelled as he
shuffled forwards to get closer to the table.

“I’m the only one I know,” he continued.

“I’m the only gay Eskimo in my tribe.

I go out seal hunting with my best friend
Tarka

But all I want to do is get into his
parker.” This line was met with laughter.

“I’m the only gay Eskimo, in my tribe

Well, me and Nuck-fuk-chuk-buk, we both
like blubber

But me I’ve got this crazy fetish for
rubber,” (more laughter)

“I’m the only gay Eskimo, in my tribe.

I make a wish on the Northern lights

That I could find a decent pair of Whale
skin tights.

I’m the only gay Eskimo, in my tribe

And the seals they sing now.”

Heero started making seal noises and
everyone cracked up at the spectacle.
Duo screamed like a fan-girl and through the wig onto the table at
Heero’s feet. Heero picked it up and
swung it round on his finger seductively. He finished the seal noises and
continued with his song.

“These cold winter nights are taking their
toll

I even get excited when I see the North
Pole… see the North Pole.” (Laughter from everyone except those engaging in
passionate affairs i.e. Zechs and Noin)

“I’m the only gay Eskimo

I’m the only one I know

I’m the only gay Eskimo, in my tribe.”

He ended and took a bow while everyone was
clapping and cheering.

He slipped down from the table and sat next
to Duo, placing the wig back onto his head as Duo proffered him the champagne
bottle. Heero took it and had a big
gulp.

“That wash really really cool,” Duo said to
him, as Heero handed him back the bottle, “I even got to see the famous fur
underwear,” he said to him as he gave him a small wink. Heero blushed slightly. Then he regained his composure and a feral
smile crossed his face.

Duo looked at him askance (means
suspiciously), “What?” he asked.

“Well,” Heero said slowly, sidling a bit
closer to him, “If you got to see my underwear then I should get to see yours,”
he finished with a grin.

“EEP!” Duo squealed as Heero winked at him
suggestively.

Heero looked at Duo expectantly as Duo
became redder and redder. Heero shook
his head and laughed.

“Maybe later then,” he whispered into Duo’s
ear and then gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Duo went purple from embarrassment.

“Beer?” he squeaked, offering Heero an open
bottle. He took it and chugged half of
it before setting it down on the floor.

Suddenly Wufei shot up from his seat on
Treize’s lap. Duo yelped and fell
backwards, he grabbed Heero to try and stop himself, but, of course, Heero was
wasted and so, not steady. Duo
succeeded in dragging the Wing Zero pilot backwards with him. Quatre fell off Trowa’s lap in shock… Zechs
and Noin were unaffected.

“Holy shit!” Treize yelled as he clutched
at his chest, “You nearly gave me heart attack.” He stood up and slung an arm around Wufei’s shoulders, “You’ve
got to remember, I’m an old man you know,” He purred. Wufei vaguely patted Treize’s cheek.

“I jush rememembered,” Wufei stuttered, “I
neeeeeeed the bathroom.”

Everyone looked at him, then looked at each
other, then at their respective bits. (AN: you know what I mean ^_-)

“Yep,” Duo said standing up a little
unsteadily, “Me as well.”

Everyone agreed.

“Bathroom trip,” Trowa said standing up and
taking Quatre up with him.

“Did I hear someone say bathroom?” Noin
said looking up over Zechs’ shoulder.
Heero nodded. She stood up
quickly letting Zechs fall face first on the floor.

“Oof!” Zechs exclaimed. Noin cringed and helped him up.

“I’m dying for a piss,” she exclaimed as
she examined Zechs’ face for bruises.

“Bathroom trip,” Trowa said again,
“Everyone bring a bottle of booze, don’t want to be shobering up on the way.”

Everyone grabbed a bottle, or discd
sd
sharing one with someone else, and then, they were on the way.

They stumbled out of the room, and looked
at the crowded hall.

“Hey Q-man,” Where’s the nearesht
bathroom?” Duo asked. When he received
no answer he turned around to find there was no Quatre. He looked puzzled for a while as everyone
exchanged looks.

“Trowa?” Treize asked. Trowa nodded exaggeratedly as he spun
unsteadily on his heel and went back into the room. He emerged carrying Quatre.

“I fell down,” Quatre said with a big smile
at the group.

“Wow you really are blonde!” Duo exclaimed
as he took a big swig of the champagne he was carrying.

“I finish-ed my beer,” Heero said sadly,
putting his eye to the neck of the bottle and looking in.

“Aw, dude,” Duo said, as he slung his arm
over Heero’s shoulder, “You can share my champagne.” Heero gave him a big smile and took the bottle from him.

“Bathroom,” Wufei said as he hopped from
foot to foot and promptly fell over… ‘cause he was wasted. He looked up at Treize from the floor.

“Piggy-back ride?” W que questioned.

Treize looked amused and bent down so that
the drunken Chinese boy could climb onto his back.

“Bathroom-wards!” Quatre shouted, as he
pointed through the crowd to the doors.

The group advanced slowly and unsteadily
into the crowd, with Quatre shouting directions and a very pissed Duo and Heero
as the front men making everyone get out of the way. They were arm in arm and barging into people.

“EX-cuse me!” Heero said indignantly as he
pushed past some women, dragging a laughing Duo along with him.

 

The end.
Bit of a weird place to stop I suppose, but the next chapter will
involve them and their bathroom escapades.
Yes this story is loosing the plot!

Sorry their wasn’t really too many adult
type things in this one, but there should be in the next one, the way it is
panning out in my head anyways ^__^

Please R+R