In Sickness

This was the only piece of writing that survived my July of 2003 computer crash. It only survived because I printed it out in the hopes of putting some real effort into it. I didn’t. This is crap. It’s barely been edited. I am going to try very hard to finish this ‘fic. I really want to. Thank you so much to anyone who reads this, even if you don’t like it, though I sincerely hope that you do because it’s no fun to read something that is not enjoyable. I hope the next chapter, because I am going to force myself to write it, will be much better.

This chapter is rated NC-17 for sex scenes, and the destroying of a village. It has some bullshit cliché stuff at the end, but it isn’t all that bad.

03: The Journey

From atop his perch on the carriage Wufei watched the sunrise shine through the departing rain clouds. With all the food, clothing, and equipment they needed for the trip only three people could fit into the carriage, two if one of them were lying down. Despite the closed in dying feeling of the house the morning was especially beautiful, perhaps only because they were leaving. The scent of flowers caught Wufei’s nose as he shifted slightly leaning his body towards a chilling breeze. Flowers flashed before his eyes. He felt the heavy weight of a body. The stench of blood and dirt and burning wood implanted themselves in his nose. Wufei shuttered but it was too late to dodge the painful memory, it had already caught him between its teeth.

The morning had seemed calm and cool enough, peaceful even. He had one of his regular fights with his wife, but these fights rarely bothered him truthfully. His wife had started out the day by bursting into his study, her hair tied in a boys fashion, arguing about justice and her foolish perception of it. He argued with her, belittled her, and left. He hated her she was a weak woman with far too strong a mind. For the past three days he had been trng ang a stray dog that was killing lots of livestock in the area. It made him irritable that the dog kept time and time again alluding him. To frustrated to return back into the house he set out once again in the hopes of catching the dog.
He followed the dog’s trail for three miles, finally finding it feasting on a kill. He caught it by surprise first dealing a heavy blow its back and then by smashing its head in with a rock. He slung the dog around his shoulders and headed back to the village. Ready to report of the dog’s final death.
Within a mile he could smell the fire. He hurried thinking it was only a house that had caught on fire, but when he neared he the village he could clearly see that most of the village was engulfed in flames. He flung the dog down and ran forwards. Dead villagers, mostly men, lay scattered all over the ground. Soldiers dragged women by their hair into the bushes, and some raped them in broad daylight. Piles of valuables lay in carriages the horses stamping nervously afraid of the fire. The motion and screams became a violent blur as Wufei rushed towards his house. It lay on the far edge of the village.
Nataku stood in the doorway of their house knife in hand battling a soldier. The soldier was angry, wounded angry. Blood was dripping down the side of his uniform and his face had been cut several times. Wufei shouted but his voice was lost in all the chaos. Nataku blocked the soldier with her knive hand and punched him with her other. The soldier caught her arm and twisted it behind her, forcing her back to face him, his sword sliced deep into her neck. Wufei was on top of the soldier stabbing him, they fell to the ground, but Wufei’s knife continued to stab the back of his head over and over and over. Once the soldier stopped moving Wufei went to his wife. Her eyes were drawn wide with shock, her mouth slightly open. Her back arched and her arms struggled as her body fought and gasped for air. Wufei held her close to him.
"Nataku…." He held her for what seemed like eternity, her struggling grew weaker and weaker. When finally her body went silent Wufei struggled to his feet. He carried her far, far away from the village, from the stench of blood, and decay, and burning lives. He carried her so far that he no longer recognized his surroundings, he carried her until it was very nearly dark, but he had found the place, the only place. Flowers and wild grasses stretched as far as the eye could see. Carefully he placed Nataku down. He used his hands to dig her grave. It was deep into the night when he finally smoothed the dirt covering her into a mound. He stood there, watching her for a time, watching her until the tears no longer bitterly stung his eyes. Slowly he made his way back to the village. A few elders, a warrior or two, some women and children, and a great many cowards had survived. In total it was around twenty people. It took them nearly two days to bury all the bodies. Over the next two weeks seven people died due to their injuries. Wufei left only when the last of the dead has been buried. He couldn’t stay, there was nothing left there, no semblance of life or the vibrant community the village once was—
"Hiya!" Duo was up on the carriage seat smiling jovelently at Wufei. Wufei bristled at the intrusion but managed a morning scowl. Duo rolled his eyes in response and turned to watch Heero hitch up the horses
"Can I drive?" Duo asked as Heero slid into the driver’s seat next to him.
"No." Trowa carried Quatre to the carriage, made sure he was comfortable, then checkhe che castle a final time to make sure it was secure. Quatre lay in a deep sleep and didn’t so much as stir through the entire process.
The carriage lurched forward and they were off.

 
The morning remained clear and bright until the afternoon. Storm clouds crept over the horizon line and loomed above the carriage in a forebodeingly gray manner. Heero watched the sky wearily.
"We may have to stop and find shelter soon." Wufei muttered following Heero’s gaze. Duo peered into the carriage window ready to knock. He stopped when he saw Quatre’s head resting in Trowa’s lap as Trowa’s fingers threaded gently through his hair.
"Let’s wait until we see shelter before we tell them." Heero nodded and shook the reins to force the horses into a faster gate.

Unfortunately they weren’t able to make it to shelter before the rain began to pour down. The group found a clump of large trees and pulled their carriage underneath them. Feeling defeated, and rather soggy, they set up for the night. A makeshift semi-waterproof canvas tarp stretched off one side of the carriage. From the outside the tent looked rather worn and falling apart, from the inside it was small, but warm enough and dry enough to meet their needs.

Duo lay huddled against on of the carriage wheels. They had been stopped for nearly six hours but he was still wide awake. He sighed loudly and twisted underneath his blanket causing it to wrap around his legs in an uncomfortable way. He wanted alcohol. The blood vessels inside his head pulsed, he shifted again, but this time the pulsing rolled with his body and emerged again only stronger. Duo shoved the blanket away and stomped off into the forest. The rain had stopped and only a few lingering clouds hung in the early morning clouds. Duo kicked a wet pinecone across the grass, trying for the billionth time to think of somet oth other than alcohol. Frustrated Duo picked up the pine cone and hurdled it forward.
It landed with a plop into a medium sized river. Duo smirked, slightly intrigued. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to jump into the river, but it would clear his nerves, and perhaps even calm his head. Duo set his clothes on the bank and jumped into the river with a loud heartfelt shout.
The cold struck him like a brick to the face, but he pushed his head up to the surface. He swam against the current for a while, but then after getting use to the temperature let himself be carriewn rwn river. He quickly reached the point where camp had been set up, he didn’t really think much of it, he could still swim the twenty or so feet upstream and back to the bank. Too soon though he was thirty, forty, fifty feet away from camp. Fear seized him by the back of the neck but he refused to let turn into panick. He fought the current as fast as he could, shouting for help when possible. He tried to head towards the bank but rocks in the river forced the flow of water to push him away. He saw something move near the edge of the river and his arms began to slow down. It was no use to waster his energy, it wasn’t working, he was unable to get back. The possibility of drowning flashes in his mind. Would it be so terrible to die this way? There was nothing in front of him, nothing in his past. Nothing really to live for. The river dove dipped down quickly over a natural ledge propeling Duo’s leg between two rocks. Immediately his body was sucked under. He opened his eyes, saw nothing but gray murk and twigs and and quickly shut them again. His stretched his body forward, twisting it violently upward. His fingertips broke through the surface. He fought the urge to scream and struggled even more. He opened his eyes again only to see Heero’s hair flash in front of him. Seconds later Heero’s hands were traveling down the length of Duo’s body, using him as an anchor. Heero grabbed his foot, twisted it up, and pulled forcing Duo’s foot free from the rocks. Duo raced to the surface spit out water, and sucked in more. He coughed trying to expel the water while his hands treaded, he ducked under, only to feel Heero’s arm around his chest, lifting him up once again above the water. Together they headed towards the bank. Hero’s arms swung up and practically threw Duo on the edge of the bank. He hit the ground with a thud and began to cough up water. Heero scred ued up the bank a little further down, his breath coming long and hard from exhaustion.
"Thanks, that sure was close!" Duo hacked out between coughs as he stood and steadied himself. Wufei stood a ways off staring at Duo in amazement.
"Just when I thought you couldn’t get any stupider!" Duo only smirked in response.
"Hey Wufei, got any clothes?" Wufei walked back to the camp and returned with two sets of various clothing from the carriage. Duo smiled appreciatively and tossed a set to Heero. Heero stepped away from the two of them to remove his wet clothes and change. By the time he’d returned Duo was quickly making his way back to where he’d entered the river.
"We’ve leaving soon." Trowa told him as he walked past camp.
"I’ll just be a second." He said in reply flashing his most brilliant "would I ever lie?" smile.
His clothes, an accordingly his belongings, were no where to be seen. The bank was several feet shorter than when he had first entered the river. He sighed, knowing that all his money, and all of his personal belongings had disappeared. A life time of sentimental treasures. He felt tears of self hatred well up in his eyes, but quickly dismissed them with a bitter laugh. It didn’t matter anyway, it was just another portion of his life better left forgotten. He was outwardly fine by the time he returned to camp.
"What are you slow pokes waitin’ on?" Duo pulled a piece of breakfast from the basket, ignoring Wufei’s ever present accusing glare. "So how far are we from our destination captain?"
"If we set out within the hour we should be there by tomorrow afternoon." Trowa didn’t say that he’d never been there before. Trowa didn’t say that Quatre was the only person who knew for sure where it was and he hadn’t been consciously alert for nearly a day.
Once everyone was setlled and all the equpment packed away they set off again.

After a few hours of boring countryside Duo turned to Wufei.
"So who’s Nataku?"
"None of your business!" Wufei snapped, Duo’s obnoxious smile only widened.
"Hmmm. I bet you stole the money. I bet the money is Nataku’s. How’d ya steal it?" Duo asked knowing that this would anger Wufei, but at least he would be getting some sort of action out of somebody.
"I didn’t steal it."
"Well then what’s the ltter say? Come on tell me something, anything!" Wufei snorted and looked at the clouds.
"Women are weak and stupid." Duo’s jaw dropped, his eyes burst open in an inquisitive sort of surprise.
"What’s that supposed to mean?" Wufei didn’t say anything, he only shifted back against the top of the carriage and tuned the world out.

Trowa bolted upright as Quatre screamed. The scream burst from his lungs violently only to be cutt off by a gurgle and then a choke. Quatre sat on the opposite end of the carriage, his body hunched up to be as small as possible. He held his throat coughing, blood splattered out onto the blankets. He stared at Trowa teary and wide-eyed with pain. He drew in a much needed breath, and then another. Everything burned inside, burned so badly that even the hot tears running down his face couldn’t soothe it. He felt the darkness that was waiting press close against him. Grab him.
He screamed again, and shift his body onto the carriage floor. He felt Trowa’s arms lifting him up, he wimpered despite his greatest want to be calm and without pain. Staring into Trowa’s concerned blue eyes he knew he didn’t want to leave them, not then, not yet, not really ever, but at the same time his body was dying. Dying. He closed his eyes as a wave of exhaustion hit him. There wasn’t much left inside, it was best to rest now, rest. Trowa balled up the sheets, replaced them with something new, and slid Quatre’s head into his lap.
Trowa jumped as he heard the sound of a hand banging against the carriage window.
"What’s wrong?" Duo questioned as the carriase swung to a stop. Just below the flare of the sun Trowa could make out Heero and Wufei’s faces as well.
"Nothing, he’s allright now. We should probably hurry." Trowa didn’t look at them as he spoke, his voice barely carried through the window pane, but they heard and started up again.

As nightfall drew close Duo slipped off the side of the carriage and onto the ground.
"Hey where are you going?" Wufei shouted as he watched a familiar braid move towards the oncoming darkness.
"I’ll catch up to you around nightfall!" Duo waved and then the echoing silence replaced his presence. They continued on until the sun faded below the horizon line and then set up camp. After an hour or so of no Duo appearing Heero set out back along the pathway.
"Good luck." Wufei called his mind and eyes too busy directing his hand to build a fire to look up. "He’s more trouble than he’s worth!"

Heero walked the along the road until finally he came upon a stopped carriage. He lurked around the perimeter until he heard a familiar laugh. Stealthily he swung up onto the carriage roof behind the driver. Knife ready he held It against the man’s throat.
"Keep quiet and you won’t be harmed." Once Heero was sure the drive would obey he slipped down onto the ground and opened the carriage door. At first he saw only the naked back side of a large muscular man. Then Duo’s legs. It took less than a second for his eyes to follow the path of the man’s hands, which were round tightly around Duo’s neck. Heero drove his knife into the man’s should and tore him off of Duo. Heero pushed the man outside and into the night. Before the man could catch his breath Heero sent three hard punches to the man’s stomach, and then ten or twelve hard punches right into the soft portion of the man’s face until he passed out. Heero walked back into the carriage.
Duo with his legs still wide open had propped himself up on his elbows to get a better look at the commotion. He blinked his eyes as he noticed a blurry image moving before him. Alcohol coursed through his veins, he felt so good, so numb, so delicious. Already his mind had forgotten the large painful man that had tried to choke him to death. He hiccuped and his blurry vision momentarily morphed into clarity. He could make out Heero’s face. He scowled as he rebraided his hair, the less painful of all his movement options.
"You didn’t have to do that." Heero stared at him with his usual expressionless stare and then turned back towards the night. "Embarrassed are ya?" Duo dug around for his clothes. "Yeah well don’t be." Heero walked out stepping deftly over the body of the man. Now he was dead. The awkward angle of his limbs and neck said everything. "Hey dummy I’m talking to you!" Duo tripped as he stumbled outside dragging some of the man’s more expensive items in his shirt. Duo’s face burned with embarrassment. Hot, sticky, tears had begun to leak from his eyes like a wound. He could feel his nose running. "Shit." He muttered under his breath. He couldn’t find his hair tie and his hair had come undone, tangled again. He felt something block his feet and he fell over the man’s body.
"Fuck!" Duo scurried away from the body dragging his shit and the man’s possesions with him. "Hey Heero." Duo squinted his eyes attempting to make out Heero’s form, Heero was still walking away, not turning around. "Hey this guy is really dead…" Duo tripped yet again, this time in a rabbit’s hole. His fist hit the ground hard once in frustration, but when finally he struggled to his knee shirt and stolen possessions in hand he saw Heero’s outstretched hand. Smiling he took it. Heero lifted him up easily.
"Yes, he is."
"Hey Heero." Duo felt his heart leap inside his chest. He wiped his nose and tried his hardest to steady himself.
"Hn?"
"Can I thank you?" Heero shrugged and began to turn away. Duo grabbed his arm and pulled him close. He didn’t care anymore what Heero thought of him. This, his body, was the only thing he possesed for one hundred percent certainty. It wasn’t any good. It was used, abused, and worthless, but it was all that he had. His lips were against Heero’s as quick as lightening. Gently he nipped at Heero’s bottom lip in order to forced his mouth open. His tongue slid inside. He leaned his weight against Heero, put everything he had into that kiss. Forced all the painful, shitty, worthless moments; his entire life into one tiny kiss.
Heero shoved him back. Something threatened to crumple inside of Duo, his feet threatened to give out, his heart threatened to scream, but he stood his ground as he watched Heero walk away from him. A faint smile pulled the corners of Duo’s mouth upwards as he slid his tongue over his bottom lip tasting Heero’s saliva. It wasn’t over. Nothing was quite over yet. Hoisting his prescious loot once more onto his back Duo headed back to camp.

---to be continued in the next chapter---

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