Behind Blue Eyes

“Women.” Duo mouthed as a
joke, and Heero chuckled.

“I’ll be right back.” He
promised and made his way to the bedroom.

Heero knocked softly at
Nora’s bedroom door before entering. He stepped carefully into the bedroom,
ready to retreat if she told him so. When he didn’t hear her protest, he turned
away from the door and faced the room. A small and loving smile touched his
lips at the sight before him.

A soft orange light
illuminated the small bedroom, casting a warm ginger glow on everything. Nora
was standing by a small dresser, brushing her hair. She was wearing a modest
blue dress that reached down to her ankles. The dress was a beautiful shade of
sky-blue, and it hung gracefully over the curves of her body. She was very style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>slender for a woman her age, and
the simple yet elegant dress did her body justice. Her long brown hair was
unbound, cascading down her back in a wavy waterfall. The light reflected on
the lush hairs as she ran the brush through them, making her hair shine even
more.

“You look beautiful, Nora.” Heero whispered in awe,
feeling warm inside. He walked towards her, gently taking the brush from her
hand. “Here, let me.” He said softly, taking a stand behind her.

Nora smiled sheepishly; bowing her head while her cheeks
blushed. “You don’t have to say that,” she whispered as he slowly began
brushing her hair, “I just found this old thing buried in the closet. I was
surprised that it still fits.”

“Well, it suits you.” Heero said, gathering a handful of
soft brown hairs and brushing them gently. The room coated with a warm
honey-flavored silence as the two stood under the ginger light, Heero brushing
Nora’s hair lovingly. He ran the brush slowly through the lush waterfall of
brown silk, his eyes enjoying the way the light shone on each wave.

When he drew the brush away, he noted that quite a few
hairs were tangled around the brush. Frowning, he ignored it and placed the brush
on the dresser.

“Would you like me to braid it for you?” He asked quietly,
refusing to break the magic of the moment by speaking loudly. He gathered a
handful of her lush hair, tenderly running it between his fingers. A few more
molting hairs got tangled around his fingers. With a confused frown, he shook
them off.

“There’s no need. I’d like to wear it down.” Nora said,
slowly turning around to face him. She smiled, a hint of sadness tugging at the
edges of her smile. “Who knows how long I’d be able to show-off my hair like
this, right?” She finished with a bitter chuckle.

Heero rolled his eyes. “Don’t be silly, Nora. Only men
grow bold. If anyone should be worried, it’s me.” He joked, taking a small step
back to stand in front of Nora. He examined her with loving eyes, looking at
her from head to toe. An amiable smile spread slowly on his lips, reaching to
his eyes and making them shine.

“You really are beautiful, Nora.” He whispered, reaching a
hand forward to caress her cheek.

Nora smiled in embarrassment and bowed her head, blushing.
Her blind blue eyes were shimmering under the orange light that filled the
room. Her heart filled with warmth and love for the young man standing before
her.

“Thank you, Heero.” She whispered back, and then took a
deep breath. She looked up at him again, a smile on her lips. She reached to
take his hand, holding his warm palm tenderly.

“Now, let’s go meet that friend of yours.” She said, and
the two made their way out of the bedroom.

*  
*   *

Heero helped Nora serve the food to the table and Duo
praised her for every bite he took. The meal was delicious, as he made sure to
inform her every once in a while. He wary pry polite and well-mannered. She
couldn’t help but sense that he was feeling awkward, like he had to make a good
impression on her. For some odd reason, she felt that he wanted her approval
for some reason. She received the same vibe from Heero. There was a sheepish
note to their tone, and she could hear/sense (it was never clear to her how she
was able to pick up these things) that they were both restricting their
movements for some reason. They were feeling uncomfortable to act freely around
her. She didn’t want it to be this way. She did her best to make them feel
comfortable.

Halfway through the meal, the ice melted. She could tell
by their voices that they were not restraining themselves anymore. From that
point on, dinner was a delightful event. The candles that lit the dinner table
burnt brightly, lighting the eyes of the table’s occupants with a warm glow.
Happy smiles and joyful laughter filled every conversation.

Nora was charmed by Duo’s lively personality. She enjoyed
the sound of his voice, and she was enchanted by every tale he told. He had a
very interesting way to tell things, which made her feel like she had been
there too. His laughter was rich and warm, like honey. He scored an even higher
score in her book when she noted that he could make Heero smile at each little
joke he threw in the air. The sound of both young men laughing filled the small
apartment, accompanied by Nora’s light giggles. She was unused to the sound of
her own laughter. She didn’t remember laughing so much in a long, long, while.
Duo was a charming young man full of life, laughter and knowledge. She never
grew tired of listening to him, or sensing the joy he had brought into Heero’s
life. She was happy for the two of them, so happy that it brought her to tears
in the midst of a fit of laughter.

After they were done eating,
they simply remained seated, and spoke for an hour more. There was just so much
to talk about; they never ran out of topics for conversation. Duwaysways had
something to say to fill any silence, and once or twice it was even Heero who
brought up one topic or another. Nora enjoyed listening to them, even if they
sometimes got lost in their own nostalgia and left her out of the conversation
for a short walk down Memory Lane.
She simply leaned on the table, and listened with a smile. There was so much
thrill, enthusiasm and passion in their voices that one couldn’t help but enjoy
listening to them. It was obvious how close they had gotten during the war, and
how much they’ve been through together.

Duo rolled his eyes. “You
never returned them, so it was stealing.” His tone was accusing, but his
eyes shone with amusement. It was evident that they had this little argument
many times in the past, until it became a laughing matter.

Heero shifted his gaze aside
for a moment, sheepish. “Uh, well, they got blown up somehow...”

Duo snorted. “Pff! Gee, I
wonder how exactly.” He muttered and slapped Heero on the back of his head.

“Ouch.” Heero called,
mock-glaring at his boyfriend. “That hurt, baka.”

Nora chuckled, shaking her
head. “I’ll go make some tea.” She stated, slowly getting up.

Heero turned to look at her,
feeling a little guilty for leaving her out of the conversation. “Do you need
any help?” He asked, ready to get up.

“No, no, you two enjoy
yourselves.” She hurried to assure him, gesturing at him to sit down as she
headed to the kitchen.

Heero made a displeased face
and got up anyway. “She’s so stubborn sometimes.” He muttered as he began to
clear the table, gathering the plates. His skilled hands moved quickly to
gather the dishes, as he did often at the diner, and soon there was a large
pile of plates resting in his arms. He gave the task no consideration, looking
up in the direction of the kitchen. Sighing, he shook his head and muttered:
“She drives me crazy with her stubbornness.”

Duo chuckled, handing Heero
an empty salad bowl. “She reminds me of you.”

Heero slowed down for a
moment, thinking, and then shrugged. He sighed, his slim fingers expertly
gathering the silverware left lying on the table. “I guess she does.” He said
slowthouthoughtfully. “And still it drives me crazy.”

Duo’s hand sneaked under the
table and brushed playfully over Heero’s thigh. Heero smiled shyly, his
movements faltering for a moment. The soothing movement of Duo’s fingers over
his thigh managed to calm him a bit. He finished collecting the plates and
prepared to leave.

“I’ll be right back.” He
promised, slightly out of breath, and rushed to the kitchen.

He entered the kitchen and placed
the pile of plates by the sink. Nora was standing by the stove, warming a
kettle of water.

“Dinner was great.” He said
softly, reaching up for the cupboard above the sink. He pulled out three white
china mugs, decorated with a simple blue pattern.

Nora smiled, nodding her
head. “I’m glad you think so.” She pointed at the direction of the cupboard.
“There’s a teapot in
the cupboard. Bring it down, will you?”

Heero reached up; standing on
his tiptoes, and took the teapot from the top shelf in the cupboard.

“Duo is a very restresting
young man.” Nora stated casually, arranging a few tea bags, honey, lemon and
sugar on a shiny silver tray.

“Yes, he is.” Heero agreed,
taking a carton of milk out of the fridge. He liked his tea with milk and
honey. He placed the milk on the tray as well.

“I can’t remember hearing you
laugh so much.” Nora continued speaking matter-of-factly as she reached to lift
the kettle off the stove.

Heero smiled shyly, slighlty
blushing. “I’m glad you liked him.”

Nora turned to smile at him,
though there was something very serious, very intense, in her gaze. Her blind
blue eyes seemed to be looking straight into him and back out. Heero swallowed,
taken aback by that gaze.

“Heero,” she began slowly,
“Please don’t miss this chance. I think you will be very happy with him. You
already are.”

Heero let out a small,
relieved, sigh. He smiled and nodded his head. “Hai. I don’t think I will let
it slip by.”

Nora relaxed as well. “Good.
I was afraid that you were still filled with silly thoughts about ‘right’,
‘wrong’, and other nonsense. There’s no right or wrong in love, I hope you know
that.”

Heero nodded. “Yes. I know.
I’ve realized that love is just... love.” He said with a smile. Nora smiled
back.

“Good. I’m glad I got it off
my che--” She suddenly gulped, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. She began
to cough and gag loudly.

Heero’s eyes widened in
worry. “Nora?” He asked, panicked, and rushed to her side. “Nora, what’s
wrong?” He repeated when the woman didn’t stop coughing.

Nora didn’t answer and opened
in a frantic run out of the kitchen. Duo, who was still sitting by the dinner
table, managed to see her streak by the table and run to the hallway. A door
was slammed shut and then Heero burst running out of the kitchen, following
her. Confused, Duo got up as well and ran after him.

He made it to the hallway
just in time to see Heero banging on the bathroom’s door.

“Nora?!” He called worriedly,
his tone fearful. He was panting and his features were pale with worry. From
within the bathroom, he could hear sounds of gagging and coughing, like
vomiting.

“Nora!? Nora! What’s wrong?”
He asked desperately, his blue eyes looking miserably at the door. He threw a
hand towards the doorknob and shook it violently. The door was locked, and it
only rattled loudly under his assault. He felt so helpless at the moment, which
made him punched the door in a frustrated attempt to do something.

Duo’s warm hand sneaked
carefully over his shoulder, trying to calm him. “Heero, calm down. Please.” He
whispered, looking worriedly at his boyfriend. Heero’s shoulders were tense and
his every muscle taut. Duo stroked his shoulder soothingly, trying to offer as
much comfort as he could.

“Move back.” Heero hissed
coldly, and Duo knew better than to argue. He took a few steps back and watched
as Heero rammed himself at the door, opening it by force. Without waiting for
Duo’s response to his actions, Heero burst into the small bathroom.

He found Nora kneeling in
front of the toilet, the folds of her blue dress lying on the floor,
surrounding her like a puddle. Her long brown hair shone under the bright light
in bathroom, moving left and right as she leaned over the toilet to vomit.

“Nora?” Heero whispered
dreadfully, and took a small step towards her.

The woman did not respond,
and leaned closer to the toilet, still vomiting.

Heero kneeled by her
carefully, and placed a trembling hand over her back. He rubbed her back
soothingly, trying to help, to ease, to be of any use at all. His miserable
blue eyes watched her in worry as she emptied her dinner into the white
porcelain. His expression was and and his features pale. All he could do was
stroke her back slowly, his fingers gliding over her long brown hair.

Duo stood at the doorway,
watching them silently.

After a while, Nora calmed
and slumped against the toilet, panting. Her features were pale and tired, dark
circles under her eyes. She was breathing heavily, her mouth wide open as she
gasped for air.

“I’ll bring her some water.”
Duo muttered, and slowly turned to leave. Heero sent him a thankful glance and
then turned back to Nora.

“Are you all right?” He
whispered timidly, his voice faltering as he spoke. He was still rubbing her
back, and when she slowly straightened up, he was forced to let go. His hand
slid off her passively, and dangled lifelessly at his side. He took a deep
breath and turned to look at her, his blue eyes shimmering with worry and fear.

“What happened?” He asked
quietly, watching her carefully for any sign of discomfort.

“Nothing.” Nora muttered, wiping
her mouth. She took a deep breath and tilted her head back for a moment, trying
to relax. “I overate, that’s all.” She finally said, turning to face him. She
smiled, but her smile faltered. “Just an upset stomach. It’s been bothering me
all day.”

Heero frowned, unconvinced.
“Are you ill? Why didn’t you say so? You shouldn’t have forced yourself to make
dinner tonight.” His tone was harsh, like he was rebuking a child. His worry
over her tended to make him over-protective, like a parent over a child. It was
absurd in a way, but he didn’t care.

“Don’t be silly, Heero.” Nora
whispered, slightly out of breath. Duo walked into the bathroom and handed her
a glass of water.

“Thank you.” She mumbled and
took a small sip. Heero’s worried blue eyes were on her the whole time.

“Maybe I should stay the
night.”

font-family:Verdana;mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana'>Putting the glass away, Nora
shook her head slowly. “Please, Heero, there’s no need. You two have plans.”
She said tiredly, turning to face Heero with a forced smile. “I’ll be fine.”

“Demo—” Heero objected, shaking
his head in a desperate motion.

“Nora, maybe he’s right.” Duo
interjected, his tone careful for he felt out of place to say such things. “If
you are feeling ill, then...”

“Boys, please! I’m fine.”
Nora insisted, “It was just a slight nausea... I overate. That’s all.” She
said, and with a groan she struggled up to her feet. Heero got up as well,
reaching a hand to help her.

“Are you su he he asked,
helping her stand, “I really don’t mind staying, and if you need anything then
please say so.”

Nora smiled warmly, her eyes
shining as she turned to face him. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Heero, I’m fine. Don’t fuss over me, I don’t appreciate it.”

Heero made a face, but kept
his mouth shut. Sighing, he lowered his head and muttered: “Fine. I’m sorry.”
He reluctantly let go of her, and prepared to walk out of the bathroom. Duo was
waiting at the doorway, watching them silently. When Heero reached the
doorstep, he sighed and turned back to face the woman.

“Just... just call if you
need anything...” he pleaded, his blue eyes shimmering, “Please?”

Nora sighed, pushing her long
hair out of her eyes. She turned to ‘look’ up at him, smiling. “All right. I
will.”

Heero smiled shakily in
return, still worried and confused. “Thank you.” He mumbled, and then walked
out of the bathroom.

Duo was already waiting for
him in the living room.

“Is it okay to e hee her like
this?” He asks worriedly, his heart aching for Heero. The young man’s anguish
was shining clearly in his blue eyes.

“Yeah.” Heero breathed, his
voice tired. He walked heavily towards the kitchen. “I’ll just... I’ll wash the
dishes and then we’ll go.” He mumbled dejectedly.

Duo hurried to catch up with
him, so he could walk by his side, and placed a comforting hand on his
shoulder. “Sure. I’ll help ya.” He promised with a warm smile, and the two set
to work.

*   *   *

It seemed like whenever he
was in a bad mood, the weather responded in kind. It was as if the Earth itself
reflected his own feelings and moods, which was quite absurd considering he was
a colony-born. He had little connection to the Earth, and yet the lively planet
seemed to have grown fond of him. Perhaps it was thankful towards the man who
had saved it from destruction. Maybe it was showing some sort of gratitude
towards him by sympathizing with his emotions. Maybe that’s why it rained
whenever he felt like crying, or the skies were a clear blue when his heart
felt lighter. Or perhaps, he had it all backwards, and the Earth detested him.
Maybe that’s why it didn’t allow the sun to shine when he was feeling down, so
there will be nothing to cheer him up. Plausibly, Heero mused, it was probably
just a coincidence. He was being selfish thinking that everything revolved
around him.

In any case, the fact
remained that ever since the dinner at Nora’s place, Heero’s mood was rundown,
and his mood reflected in the cloudy sky. The time was towards the end of
spring, and summer was approaching, and yet the weathermen were baffled as to
how a storm had come upon the city. The temperatures dropped drastically, and
cold winds blew over the streets. Now and then a shower of rain fell from the
heavens, and the sight of a blue skies became rare all of a sudden.

People didn’t give it much
thought. For a long while after the Eve Wars the weather had been style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verd>cap>capricious. The use of many
nuclear weapons and large atmospheric interruptions caused by many weapons of
war, had somehow damaged the Earth in ways still unknown. Phenomenons like snow
in the middle of summer or a drought during the coldest winter, were becoming
rather common in some parts of the world. The heavy rain falling over the city
didn’t surprise the people walking down the streets, and they simply hurried to
find shelter.

Running down the pavement, Duo cursed and reached a hand
to wipe the wet bangs that clung to his face. “Dammit! What’s up with this
rain?” He muttered, shifting his hold on the heavy paper bags he was holding.
He ran faster, eager to get out of the rain. The heavy droplets falling from
above were fat, hot and muddy. The winds of the summer storm blew hard,
tousling his long bangs wildly.

Heero, who was walking by his
side, hurried to catch up with him. He was also carrying two heavy paper bags,
packed with groceries, his pink/blue/white uniforms getting soaked by the rain.
He just finished work an hour ago, and Duo came to meet him so they could go
shopping together. Nora was ill, as she had been all week, and Heero made sure
to buy all of her necessities as well. He wasn’t overly depressed today, when
Duo was with him it was hard to sink into depression, but he was worried sick
over Nora. It seemed like the weather responded to his worry.

Sighing tiredly, Heero fixed
his hold on the bags he was carrying and ran towards Duo. The two hurried
towards Heero’s apartment building, entering the small lobby with their clothes
soaking wet and their breathing heavy.

“Jesus!” Duo exclaimed,
shaking his head from side to side. His wet hair sprayed water all over the
place, like a dog drying himself. “Where the hell did THAT come from?!”

Heero gave out a small
chuckle, thrusting his damp bangs out of his eyes. “Alaska. Or so they said on
the news.” He replied smugly, making his way towards the stairwell.

“Smartass.” Duo muttered, and
followed in his footsteps.

“I’m going to give Nora her groceries
first.” Heero informed him as they climbed up to Nora’s floor. “I won’t be
long.”

Duo smiled, slightly panting
as he climbed two stairs at a time, trying to catch up with Heero. “Take your
time. I don’t mind. Hey! Why won’t we make her something good to eat? It will
make her feel better.”

Heero nodded with a smile.
“That’ll be nice.” He said, walking into the corridor that led to Nora’s door.

“Cool! I think I can make a
good... uh... TV dinner?” Duo mumbled, grinning sheepishly, “Heh, I don’t think
she’d like my cooking.”

Heero rolled his eyes and
turned to the door. “Baka.” He wiggled his hand from behind the shopping bags
and raised it to the door. He knocked, but there was no answer. Frowning, he
knocked again.

“Maybe she’s not home.” Duo
suggested carefully. He was standing behind o, ho, holding the paper bags, and
peeking over his shoulder. It was not the first time that the two of them
dropped by without notice at Nora’s place, and found themselves standing in
front of the door, with no one there to answer. “Maybe she had more of those
arrangements she always goes on.”

Heero sighed, worry stirring
in his heart. He reached to knock again. “Duo no baka. You saw how ill she was
the other day. Why would she go out in such condition?”

Duo shrugged. “I dunno. It
was just a thought...”

Taking a nervous breath,
Heero tried again. “Nora?” He called, leaning towards the door. “Are you home?”

Silence.

Sighing heavily, Heero put
the bags down and pulled a key out of his blaeanseans’ pocket.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Duo
asked as he watched his boyfriend key himself in.

“Yeah.” Heero grunted,
opening the door with some difficulty. It creaked when it opened, and cool air
poured out of the apartment.

“Is it always this cold?” Duo
let out with a frown, taking a hesitant step forward. He clutched the bags
tightly as he waited for Heero to lift his own load.

“The landlord didn’t agree to
activate the central heating.” Heero muttered in annoyance, walking into the
apartment. “He insists that a storm in the middle of spring is not a good
enough reason.” He finished with a sigh, just as they entered the kitchen. He
placed the bags on the kitchen table. Duo did the same.

“So, uh, no home cooked meal
tonight, huh?” He joked, though he was a little disappointed. He had grown very
fond of Nora’s cooking. He cherished every evening the two of them came over
for dinner. It was far better than munching on junk food while they studied.

Heero chuckled, placing some
dairies in the fridge. “Don’t worry, Duo. I’ll cook.”

Duo grinned and hurried to
glomp his boyfriend from behind. “All right!”

*   *   *

When they reached Heero’s
apartment a while later, Heero offered that Duo will enter the shower first,
while he will make dinner. He didn’t take the time to change out of his wet
pink/blue/white uniforms, and began preparing the meal. The apartment was
silent aside for the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. The sun
was setting behind the heavy clouds, bidding farewell to another gloomy
afternoon. The apartment was quite chilly, the crisp air of the summer storm
leaving invisible frostbites on everything it touched. The heater was turned
on, standing on a miniature wooden table in the small space between the kitchen
and the living room. Its strong orange light washed the small apartment,
casting a ginger glow on the sofa/bed that stood in the middle of the living
room.

Heero worked in silence,
cutting a few vegetables and then throwing them into a small wok. He made a
quick and simple dinner, frying some noodles, while he waited for Duo to finish
his shower. It was not an unusual routine for the two of them. Since Duo lived
in the university’s dormitories, Heero was not allowed to enter his quarters.
So the two of them spent most of their time together either going out, or in
Heero’s apartment. The tiny apartment had barely enough room for one, but they
didn’t mind to share such closeness. There wasn’t much room to move about,
merely a small kitchen, a bathroom and the sofa that took most of the space,
but they managed. Most of the time they just lay together on the bed, studying,
watching television or simply enjoying each other’s company.

There was nothing Heero
enjoyed more than being curled beside Duo under a warm blanket, simply being
held and caressed. They didn’t sleep together in the sexual sense of the word,
not yet, but it didn’t bother them. Heero was grateful for being able to take
things slow. Despite his deep love and attraction to Duo, he didn’t feel ready
to sleep with him yet. He wanted to take his time, to familiarize himself with
this new sense of intimacy. He had rushed things before, having a cheap
one-night-stand, and he had gotten nothing but hurt in exchange for a few
moments of pleasure. Before that, he was forced to have sex, brutally raped,
and that had also left deep scars in his soul. He didn’t want to rush things
with Duo. He wanted to take slow careful steps towards an intimate
relationship. He was grateful that Duo and he shared that opinion. He suspected
that his boyfriend was hesitant because of what happened back then, in that
dark prison cell, and he was thankful for the fact that Duo was so considerate.

He finished just in time,
when the sound of running water ceased to come from the shower. He took a
couple of simple blue bowls out of the cupboard and loaded each one with some
stir-fried noodles. His slim fingers swiftly swooped two pairs of chopsticks
from the counter, and he made his way to the living room.

Duo walked out of the
bathroom, immediately washed by the warm golden light of the heater. He was
wearing the same pair of blue jeans he wore before, and one of Heero’s white
T-shirts. His damp hair fell smoothly over his back, before he reached two
hands up and braided it swiftly. He saw Heero was waiting for him on the bed,
and he smiled lovingly at the sight of him, washed by the exotic gigner light.
Despite his ridiculously colored uniforms, Heero managed to look beautiful.
There was a certain glow to the boy, something sweet and honey-like, whenever
he saw him under this light. It made his heart warm, and he couldn’t help but
let his smile spread like melting chocolate.

“Smells delicious.” He
commented softly, and sat beside Heero. Heero smiled back, handing him a bowl
of noodles. The two enjoyed a nice silent meal together, sitting curled by one
another in front of the heater.

When they were done eating,
Duo got up, and without a word took the two empty bowls into the kitchen.
Heero, who was still sitting on the sofa/bed, smiled affectionately at the
sound of running water from the sink, where Duo began washing the dishes. His
heart felt heavy, but each little thing Duo did was so endearing, that it made
his burden so much easier to bear. He loved the connection they shared. The way
they could communicate with no words at all. Duo knew when to keep silent; he
knew when he should just be there, with no words, just his loving presence.
Heero was so thankful for it. He enjoyed the comfort and affection Duo gave
him. He loved the understanding they shared, the deep bond between them. It made
even the gloomiest rainy afternoon feel like the warmest thing in the world.

Although he was still
bothered by the ominous feelings that flooded him day and night. At day, he
thought of Nora, about her frequently growing disappearing acts. At night, he
was haunted by nightmarish visions of blood, pain and smoke. Events from his
past and the story of Nora’s past mixed together in his head to form a
terrifying reality. It was terrifying because it was so real. Each dream
was so actual and intense that it left him shaking. When Duo didn’t sleep over,
he would even cry. He was emotionally drained, tired of feeling so much worry
and dread. He would brood often and every now and then Duo had to wake him from
some numbing daydream. His mind got sidetracked easily, thinking about images
that were possibly memories, possibly fiction. And to top it all was the fact
that he could speak about none of that with Nora, because she was feeling ill
as it is, and he didn’t want to upset her.

Sighing heavily, Heero slowly
dragged himself off the sofa and made his way to the shower.

*   *   *

Standing in front of a small
mirror, he undressed slowly, taking his time. His limbs felt heavy, he was so
terribly tired. His mind was numb, his vision unfocused. He mindlessly pulled his
shirt over his head, and threw it to the floor. He wriggled out of his jeans
and let them drop to the floor. Sighing tiredly, he bent down to yank his socks
off. He straightened up, glancing shortly at the mirror.

There was a little boy in the
mirror, staring straight at him. A little boy with scruffy brown hair and a
thick bloody bandage around his head. Hikari.

Heero gasped, his eyes wide.
The boy’s sad blue eyes met with his. Blood was running down his temples,
leaking from underneath the bandage.

Heero staggered back, nearly
falling, until he collided with the wall. The cool porcelain wall stung his
naked back, bringing him violently back to reality. He blinked, and the boy was
gone. He was staring at his own pale and naked reflection.

He stood there, panting,
staring at his trembling reflection. The image of the bloody bandage on the
boy’s head was burnt deeply into his mind. He felt nauseous all of sudden, a
dreadful feeling overtaking him.

With trembling hands, he
reached to open the faucet. He stepped under the warm shower stream, and leaned
his head heavily on the cool porcelain wall. Closing his eyes, he forced
himself to take deep, long breaths, trying to calm down. Quick flashes
assaulted his mind, an overflow of information trying to flood his head. He
felt like there was too much trying to enter his mind, and there was not enough
room. It hurt. He cringed painfully, squeezing his eyes tight as the images
swirled in his head. A park. A home. An explosion. Darkness. The training. The
war. The rape. Fear. Pain. Longing for something... something that was lost...
something he could never remember...

“Please...” he pleaded,
nearly crying, “Just leave me alone...”

His mother. His father. Dead.
No! It was just a dream! It never happened to him! It was Nora’s family! It was
Hikari’s life! Not his! Not his!

“Urgh!” Heero groaned,
collapsing to his knees. The hot shower rained from above, warm water mixing
with fresh tears. He punched the wall in frustration and pain. He was going
crazy, driven mad by memories and fantasies that didn’t belong to him. They
didn’t belong!

“Heero?” Duo’s hesitant voice
came from behind the door. There was a soft knock. “Heero, are you okay?”

He suddenly real tha that he
must have been there for too long. The water was getting cold. Sighing, he took
a moment to compose himself before muttering a faltering “Y-yes.”

There was a hesitant pause,
and then, “Oh, uh, a-all right. I, uh... take your time. Sorry.” Duo mumbled,
sounding confused. Did he notice that he was crying?

Duo retreated. It was silent
again, only the sound of the rushing water there with him. Still on his knees,
he reached a trembling hand up and closed the faucet. He then slowly rose on
shaking feet, and stepped out of the shower. He dried himself slowly, sending nervous
glances at the mirror as he slid the towel over his damp body. The reflection
didn’t change; he was still staring at his frightened, confused, self.

He took a small step forward,
and stood in front of the mirror. He let the towel drop to his feet, and merely
stood there, staring at his naked reflection. He studied himself quietly,
running his blue eyes slowly down his lean figure. With a faltering breath, he
reached a hesitant hand up, carefully touching his chest. He slid the tip of
his fingers over his muscled chest, trailing down to his abdomen, and then his
waist. He touched himself lightly, tilting his head aside curiously as he
looked at his reflection.

A small shiver ran threw him
when his intense blue eyes meet with the eyes in the mirror. He swallowed,
lightly caressing the area just above his groin. He wanted to make sure that it
was himself he was touching. He needed this reassurance. Looking at the
reflection of his hand, and feeling it trail over his skin, made him feel real
somehow. If he could see and he could feel, then he must be real. His breath
faltered for a minute as he toyed with the curly hairs above his groin. He
looked deeply into his own eyes, and offered himself a little smile.

He couldn’t believe that he
was looking at his nineteen year old self. That thought suddenly amazed him. He
was prepared to take his own life by the age of ten, and yet here he was,
staring at his older reflection. He couldn’t believe that he made it this far.
He survived anything life threw at him, and now, he was happy. True, he was
very upset lately, and at times he found it too hard to force himself to take
another breath, but he was overly content with life. He had all he ever wished
for, and he was prepared to take it all- the good with the bad. He of all
people knew that life was not a bed of roses. Most of the time there were
simply thorns.

Looking deeply into his own
eyes, Heero reached a hand to touch the mirror. He caressed the face of his
reflection, and smiled a little. From every bad thing, came something good. He
hated to think about the awful things of his past, however he wished to take
whatever little goodness came out of them. Perhaps there was a reason for each
horror he had to go through. Perhaps... perhaps he did have a home once,
a family, and fate separated tho heo he could answer a greater call, fulfill a
bigger destiny. He didn’t mind it so much now that he had Nora. He grew
attached to her, he loved her deeply, and that was enough of a compensation for
what he had lost.

As for the horrors of war...
maybe what happened in that dark OZ prison cell only made him stronger. It made
his love stronger. His love for Duo was greater than anything he ever felt. And
now, he felt ready. Ready to give him his body, ready to show his love to him
in the most intimate way. It meant a lot, and he was sure that Duo knew that.
It wasn’t easy for him to do this, after being raped, but the love filling his
heart was enough of a reason.

He felt ready, his body told
him. His skin tingled in anticipation, warm shivers rippling through his body.
He looked down at himself, slowly lowering his hand. He placed his palm over
his heart, the wild heartbeat confirming his body’s statement. He was ready to
do this, his heart confirmed. He needed to do this. Tonight. He wanted
it to be tonight. This body was his own, to do as he pleased. He will give it
by choice, with all the love that he held in his heart. He was ready for this.
He felt it in the very fibers of his being. If he will not share this intimacy
tonight... he would collapse. He couldn’t do this by himself anymore. He needed
someone to be with him. He needed someone to touch him, to hold him. He needed
Duo to touch him, to understand him. To make love to him, to comfort him and
take the pain away. He needed to show his love to Duo, he wanted to make him feel
it. He wanted both of them to feel it. Tonight. It was going to be tonight.

With a shy little smile,
Heero nodded at his own reflection. He bent down to pick his towel off the
floor, and wrapped it around his waist. No more nightmares after tonight. No
more regrets, he decided, and carefully stepped out of the bathroom.style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>

*   *   *

He walked out of the shower
with only a white towel around his slim waist. The orange light of the heater
slowly coated him like a golden blanket as he walked back into the living room.
His damp hair was dripping water, the clear droplets glittering as they slid
down his muscled chest.

Da'>Duo was sitting on the
sofa/bed, waiting for him. The bed was freshly made, and the braided young man
was sitting in the middle of the double bed, fluffing a pillow. Heero smiled
warmly at the sight, and made his way to the bed. With the towel hanging
loosely around his slender waist, he crawled onto the bed, and kneeled behind
Duo. He caught his braided boyfriend by surprise when he slowly began kissing
his neck, earning a small gasp from boy boy.

Heero smiled to himself and
leaned forward, letting his hands wander up Duo’s arms, to his shoulders, and
down to his chest. He pressed himself to Duo’s back, nibbling his neck
playfully, as his fingers sneaked under the boy’s shirt. Duo moaned and Heero
shifted closer, the mattress yielding under his movements.

“H-Heero...” Duo mumbled, out
of breath. “What’s gotten into you?” Breathless, he turned around to face the
Japanese boy. His gaze softened at the beautiful sight before him. He took a
moment to simply appreciate the sight of the beauty kneeling before him. The
way the warm orange light painted Heero’s muscled chest, creating an exotic
vision of the boy. He was wearing nothing but a loose towel, which was hanging
low around his slim waist. Duo’s eyes lingered onto the inviting sight, before
he turned to look up at Heero’s eyes.

Heero smiled shyly, his
cheeks slightly blushing. He reached a slim hand down, and slowly removed the
towel, slg itg it over his skin until it hid nothing. He swallowed, taking a
nervous breath, before he turned to look at Duo again. His cheeks blushed a
bright red, and his entire body burnt with heat. The feeling of complete exposure
in front of the one he loved sent pleasant tingles down his skin. Just being
looked at was arousing him.

Stunned, Duo simply stared.
His wide eyes traveled up and down Heero’s naked figure, until he met his eyes.
A small smile graced his lips, his eyes moist with tears for he was so
overwhelmed with love. Still, he hesitated to move. Heero saw that, noticed the
flash of that dark cell reflecting in Duo’s eyes, but he didn’t let it stop
him. Tonight he will prove, to both Duo and himself, that their love can win
over those memories. The past will be forgotten after tonight, he promised
himself.

He reached forward, and took
Duo’s hand in his. He guided the hesitant palm to his body, letting it rest on
his thigh.

“Don’t think about it.” He
whispered, looking deeply into Duo’s eyes. He smiled kindly, shifting Duo’s
hand so it slid down his inner thigh. “I’m not.”

Duo swallowed, looking
nervously at his hand, afraid to hurt Heero somehow, despite the fact that he
was not responsible for his hand’s current location. He looked up at Heero just
in time to see the boy lean closer, and then becoming a blur as he sealed his
lips with a kiss. The feeling of Heero’s warm lips against his mouth slowly
melted his fear away. He kissed back, tasting those soft lips and then parting
them gently with his tongue. He kissed Heero long and deep, rising higher on
his knees as he wrapped his arms around the boy. Heero’s skin was hot as fire
when he touched him. He rubbed his palm up and down Heero’s back, toying
ruthlessly with Heero’s tongue until the boy moaned helplessly into his mouth.
He drank every moan, as if they were wine, his body getting eager to play the
game.

When they parted, they were
both panting. Duo’s hair was tousled wildly, his bangs moving up and down as he
breathed. Heero was also flushed and breathless. He leaned closer to Duo,
breathing harshly into his ear as he whispered- “Make love to me, Duo. I love
you, I trust you, I...” His hand reached down between their bodies, taking hold
of Duo’s hand. He guided his hand to his hardening arousal.

“...I want you...” He
whispered in a low, sexy voice, smirking at his own boldness.

Duo smiled back and then
chuckled. He gave Heero a quick kiss, and then drew back so he could look into
his eyes. “Are you sure?”

Heero nodded, his eyes
shining with warmth and love. “More than anything. I want to make love with
you.”

It was all the reassurance
Duo needed.

*   *   *

That night, they made love
like nothing else mattered. ‘Heaven’ would have been an understatement to
describe the feelings that flooded Heero that night. He never knew that sex
could be so gentle, so caring and considerate. He could feel the love in every
movement, every touch, and every caress. He was worshiped with kisses and sweet
words, praised by gentle hands and delicate lips. The pleasure coursing through
him was unimaginable. Never in his life did he feel such sensations, such deep
passion and love.

Duo let him set their pace,
control their positions and everything else. Settling on his knees, he waited
for Heero to act. Heero wrapped his arms around Duo’s neck, smiled shyly and
positioned himself above Duo’s erect arousal. He pressed his forehead to Duo’s,
looking him deep in the eye. Slowly, carefully, he lowered his hips and took
Duo into him, inch by inch. Pleasant shivers crawled under his skin as he was
slowly filled by Duo’s warm, lubed, erection. He closed his eyes in pleasure,
his breath quickening as he took Duo deeper and deeper into him. Duo leaned his
head back, groaning loudly. His eyes were closed tight, his lips pressed into a
thin line. He felt himself sheathed deeply inside Heero, his cock pulsing
inside the tight heat. Heero didn’t move, simply savoring the elevating feeling
of having Duo inside him.

“God... Heero... you feel so
good...” His lover ground out, his body shaking with pleasure.

Heero chuckled, leaning closer to Duo’s face. His laughter
tousled Duo’s long bangs, tickling his face. He kissed his forehead gently,
pressing his warm lips against the hot skin. He kept his hips still, relishing
in the feeling of having Duo inside him. He loved it, being filled, being whole
at last. He raised his hips up slowly, enjoying the feeling of Duo’s erection
rubbing against his inner walls. Duo moaned loudly, squeezing the tears out of
his closed eyes. Heero smiled and then quickly slumped his hips down, burying
Duo inside him swiftly. This time, his prostate was hit and a throaty moan tore
out of his lips.

“It... doesn’t... hurt...
does it?” Duo managed to ground een een clenched teethe, struggling to refrain
himself from slamming blindly into Heero.

The Japanese boy smiled
kindly and shook his head. “No.” He whispered, leaning down to kiss Duo. “I
enjoy it.”

Duo opened his eyes to look
at his lover, smiling. “I never enjoyed prostate stimulation.” He admitted.

Heero shrugged casually and
bent to nibble Duo’s lower lip. “Then it’s a good thing that I do.” He said
with a smirk, and then raised his hips again. He pushed down quickly, and then
repeated the motion. All the while his eyes were focused on Duo’s face,
drinking the sight of the pleasure dancing across his lover’s beautiful
features.

Using Duo’s shoulders as
leverage, he began creating a rhythm, riding Duo slowly at first and then
picking up the pace. They had no more breath left for talking; they were both
busy panting and moaning loudly. Heero leaned back, arching his back, while his
fingers gripped Duo’s shoulders tightly. His head was tilted back, his messy
bangs hanging low, swinging from side to side. The usual mop of hair that
obscured his features was thrown back, so that every inch of his features could
be seen washed in pleasure. He called out and jumped each time his prostate was
hit, his wild bangs bouncing up and down with him.

This union was the most
beautiful thing he ever felt. It was unconceivable that he held Duo inside him
at the moment. They were one being, one soul, at long last. His eyes flooded
with tears at the realization. Pure love was coursing through his veins,
overwhelming him and bringing him to tears. He’d been shedding so many of those
lately, compensating for all the years he had been holding them back. There was
no reason to hold back anymore, he felt free to act by his emotions. He was
finally following his own advice. Each time he shed a tear, his heart felt
lighter. There was more room for love in his heart as he shed the sadness away.

He could feel Duo lean
forward and attach his lips to his right nipple. He coated him with hot saliva
and began to suck. Heero’s arousal twitched. He cried out in pleasure, his
knuckles turning white as he gripped Duo harder. He was calling out so many
incoherent things, moaning and groaning as he moved his hips up and down in a
mind-blowing rhythm. He wanted to feel more and more of Duo, every inch, deeper
and deeper inside of him. He couldn’t hold himself back anymore and he style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Verdana'>launched himself at Duo, grabbing
the boy’s head with two hands and dove down to devour him with a brutal,
passionate kiss. He poured all of his lust, love, and passion into this one
kiss, taking Duo’s breatay way when he gasped. He continued to ride Duo without
using his hands for leverage, concentrating on driving his lover insane with
one single kiss.

Duo growled and returned the playful assault, kissing back
furiously. He grabbed Heero’s hips to keep him from falling, meeting him thrust
for thrust. He hugged the boy tightly, devouring his mouth as they both battled
for dominance. When his tongue finally won over Heero’s, he reached a shaking
hand to stroke his lover’s neglected arousal. The boy screamed loudly when he
was touched, the pleasure overloading his senses. After a few quick strokes
Heero came with a shuddering scream, his body convulsing. He came all over
Duo’s stomach, the movement of his hips slowing down as he rode on the waves of
his orgasm. Duo drove into him a few more times before coming violently. His
hand was still pumping Heero, squeezing him tight. Heero felt hot fluid burst
inside of him, coating his inside. He smiled at the feeling, and slumped tiredly
onto Duo.

The two collapsed on the bed,
panting, sweating, and basking in afterglow.

They lay together in silence,
simply breathing. Heero was curled against Duo, lying by his side. They
entwined their limbs, as Heero laid his head on Duo’s sweaty chest. His braided
lover was still breathing hard, and his chest rose up and down quickly. Heero
smiled at the feeling, also happy to hear the wild rhythm of Duo’s heart. He
wrapped his arms around Duo, hugging him tight. Duo’s hand slowly traveled up
and down his body, caressing him with soft butterfly touches.

“I love you.” Heero
whispered, reaching down for Duo’s braid. It was still wet from the shower he’d
taken but two hours ago. He began toying to the tip of Duo’s braid, curling the
wet hairs around his finger and then releasing them.

Duo’s hold on him tightened.
He pushed him closer to his body, and kissed the top of his head. “I love you
too, Hee-chan. More than anything.” He whispered back, caressing Heero’s smooth
back. “Thank you for a wonderful evening.”

Heero smiled sheepishly, his
cheeks blushed. “You’re welcome.” He mumbled into Duo’s chest, shrugging
lightly. He curled deeper into Duo, nestling himself against the warm body. He
sighed pleasantly, enjoying the warmth surrounding him, and drifted into an
exhausted sleep.

*   *   *

He was home again, standing
in the middle of a green park. Shiny silver buildings peeked from behind the
trees, the hint of a window and some flowerpots visible behind lush branches. He
turned to look around, examining his surrounding. He smiled at the familiar
sight, a feeling of peace taking over him. The park was silent, only the soft
twittering of birds heard from a distance. Behind him, down the green hill,
spread the whole colony in all its glory. The silver streets glinted under the
colony light, colorful cars cruising down the roads.

He smiled, and turned back to
face the park. The air was warm and sweet. He inhaled deeply and began to
slowly walk down the gravel trails, enjoying himself beyond belief. He didn’t
recall feeling such ease in a long, long, while. The calm atmosphere and the
delightful green sights bestowed a pleasant feeling over him. He closed his
eyes and tilted his head back, a smile spreading on his features as he let
himself enjoy the warm colony light.

He stood still for a few
moments, simply absorbing the pleasant silence. When he opened his eyes again,
he saw Nora standing not so far away, on a nearby hill. She was wearing her
beautiful blue dress, her long brown hair cascading smoothly down her back,
tousled by the wind. It seemed like she was looking for someone, searching
desperately. Heero smiled warmly. She was looking for him.

He took a step forward,
simply wishing to go to her, to end her search so she will not be so sad. The
minute he took another step, someone stopped him. He was grabbed forcefully
from behind, two pairs of strong hands gripping him by his upper arms. His eyes
widened in panic.

“No!” He called, frightened.
He reached a hand forward, in Nora’s direction, trying desperately to reach
her. “Nora!”

The hands restraining him
tightened in a painful grip, nearly ripping his flesh. An evil laughter rang in
his ear, followed by another.

“C’mon, sweet cakes, time to
go back.”

“Yeah, babe, we missed ya!”

He knew those voices and he
shook his head wildly in denial. “No! No! Please!”

They began dragging him away
from there, and he knew, without even looking back, that they were dragging him
into that dark cell again. He fought them with all his might, struggling to get
away. To get back to Nora. She was waiting for him. She’s been waiting for so
long, he had to go to her!

But he couldn’t get away from
them. He was too tired to fight, too exhausted to struggle. It was those damn
tests, they made him weak. He couldn’t even move his legs anymore. He hung
limply in their hold, his feet dragging on the gravel road as they carried him
away. His head hung low in defeat, his bangs obscuring his eyes as he mumbled:
“Please... no more tests... please...”

Nora was still on that hill,
looking left and right, searching. She was getting further and further away. He
gave one last attempt at escape, but it did him no good. They only laughed at
him, calling him names.

“Hurry up!” Lady Une barked
at them, crossing her arms over her chest. “Get him out of the hangar!”

He jerked his head up to look
at her, a desperate plea in his eyes. “Please! No! They raped me! Let me go!
Please! They’ll do it again! Can’t you see?! Please! Please...”

His words only made her
angry. She slapped him hard and then spat in his face. “Private Barton! Get the
prisoner back to his cell!”

“Trowa- no!” He screamed, his
voice anxious as he noted that the green hill was so terribly far away. He
could barely see Nora anymore.

“We’ll continue the tests
tomorrow. Tell the scientists to prepare the Mercurious.”

“No! Please no... Nora- help
me! Help me!! Nora!!!!”

The iron hands gave him a
finally yank and threw him into the cell.

It was dark. He couldn’t see
and he couldn’t hear. He wasn’t sure if he had a body anymore, until his legs
were thrown up in the air and forced painfully open. He closed his eyes tight
and screamed:

“MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Heero awoke with a jerk.
Someone was shaking him, holding him by his upper arms. For a moment, he
panicked. He was naked and someone was by his side, also naked. Tears of
helplessness filled his eyes. He lifted his arms to fight off the unknown
attacker, but the rapist wouldn’t let go!

“No! No! Let me go! Don’t
touch me! Let me go!!!” He screamed, trashing wildly on the bed. He will not
give in so easily! As long as he had the strength to fight- he will not give
in! He kicked and he punched, doing his best to get away from the man by his
side. The man, however, refused to let go. He was shaking him forcefully, as if
trying to wake him.

“Heero! Heero! Look at me!
Heero!” Duo’s anxious voice slowly sipped into his consciousness.

Heero gasped, his eyes
darting up to meet the worried purple orbs above him. He stilled, his body
slumping heavily into the mattress. His features were pale with confusion and
shock. He shifted his gaze from side to side, trying to recall where he was.
Tears began to flood his eyes as realization slowly returned. He was home. He
was with Duo. He was safe with Duo. He was with Duo...

Propped on one elbow so he
could look down at the boy beneath him, Duo watched as Heero slowly realized
where he was. He lay silently by his side, the blanket sliding down to his
naked waist. He reached a hand down to caress Heero’s cheek, wiping away the
stream of silvery tears. He took a faltering breath, trying to remain calm
despite the vulnerable and frightened sight of his lover. He couldn’t bear to
see Heero like this. His heart ached because he knew that this was his entire
fault. He never should have let Heero sleep with him. It was still too early.
He knew it, and still he played along. He should never have done that.

Sighing sadly, Duo looked
down at his lover, gently tousling his bangs. “Heero, look at me.” He whispered
softly. He held himself from flinching when a pair of frightened blue eyes
turned to him. He swallowed, and reached to pet Heero’s tender cheek.

“Do you regret what we just
did?” He asked quietly, his tone careful.

It took Heero a few long moments,
at which he merely stared dumbly at Duo, before he slowly shook his head.

Duo was unconvinced. Leaning
closer to Heero, he looked him straight in the eyes and whispered harshly. “Did
I hurt you in any way?”

“No... no... I wanted it... I
did...” Heero mumbled in a small voice, still suffocated with tears. He shook
his head against the pillow, looking up at Duo with shimmering eyes. “I’m the
one who... who started it... I wanted it... I did...”

“Heero, are you sure?” Duo
asked, nearly crying. The boy seemed so confused that he found it difficult to
be assured. “God, Hee-chan, the last thing I EVER want is to hurt you.”

“I know... I know...” Heero
murmured, turning his head aside. He sighed deeply, staring ahead at nothing.
“I... I don’t think it had anything to do with the rape...”

Duo frowned, confused. He lay
down again and scooped Heero into his arms. He wrapped his arms around the
boy’s slim body, pressing him closer to his chest. Heero laid his head under
his shoulder, close to his chest, and Duo bent down to kiss the top of his
head. “Then what is it? What’s wrong?”

Confused, Heero didn’t know
what to answer. He stared unfocusedly at the white sheets, trying to find the
words to explain it to Duo.

“It’s just that... there’s...
there’s so much stuff in my head, Duo... so much... in my head, I... I can’t...
can’t stop thinking about it... remembering...” He sighed, closing his eyes
sadly. “I don’t know...”

Fresh tears lingered onto his
long eyelashes, his lips trembling in an attempt to stop the sobs from coming.
He couldn’t help it. He felt so small and helpless at the moment that he
couldn’t restrain his tears. He reached a shaking hand to hug Duo tightly. He
buried himself in Duo’s chest, pressing closer to him until he felt that they
were one again. He didn’t even have to ask, Duo knew that all he wanted was to
be held. Warm arms held him tightly, soft fingers playing with his hair. They
lay together, limbs entwined, letting time tick by slowly. Heero couldn’t be
more grateful for the love and warmth that surrounded him at the moment.

*   *   *

“I brought you some soup.”
Heero mumbled solemnly as he placed a small tray on Nora’s nightstand. He then
turned to carefully sit down at the edge of her bed, sighing deeply before
facing her. The woman was lying slumped against a small mountain of pillows,
looking terribly pale and exhausted. There were black bags under her eyes and
her lips were parched. Her long brown hair lay spread over the pillow, a few
messy hairs falling over her face. Heero reached a gentle hand to wipe them
away, his eyes shining sadly.

“Please eat.” he said softly,
his blue eyes pleading with her, “You haven’t eaten in days.”

“I’m not hungry, Heero.” she
muttered, shaking her head tiredly, “I’m too nauseous to eat...”

Heero sighed. “You have to
eat something, Nora.” He insisted, turning to take the small bowl of soup. He
placed it in his lap and dipped the spoon in. He carefully served it to Nora’s
lips. His eyes begged her to open herth. th. With a long sigh, Nora sipped the
soup and then slumped back into her pillow. Her blue eyes gazed blindly ahead
as he fed her patiently, not saying anything even when she spilled some soup
over her nightgown. He simply wiped the fluid off her chin with his sleeve and
fed her some more. The room was silent as he served the spoon to her lips,
feeding her at least half a bowl.

“Please, Heero. No more.”
Nora whispered hoarsely, gesturing with her hand to emphasize her words. “I
can’t eat anymore.”

Heero nodded in understanding
and placed the bowl back on the nightstand. He continued to sit on the bed, his
hands in his lap and his gaze at the floor. A heavy silence fell over the small
bedroom, so heavy that it was hard to bear. Nora lay quietly on the bed, her
gaze thoughtful. She was listening carefully to the sound of Heero’s breathing,
trying to detect if anything was wrong. He was so silent, he didn’t even more.
There were no rustling sheets to indicate any movement. The slow rhythm of his
breath and the way he sat heavily on the matters brought her to one conclusion.
Something was bothering him. He was very upset, and frankly, she couldn’t blame
him.

“Heero, what’s wrong?” She
asked, trying to make her tone lighter, softer. She could hear him sigh
heavily, and by the small shifting of the mattress she figured that he must
have shrugged or something.

“It’s nothing, Nora. I...
it’s nothing.”

That was not the answer she
wanted to hear. She forced herself up, dragging herself over the pillows so she
could more or less sit. She reached forward, searching for his hand. Since she
didn’t find it, she settled for placing her palm on his forearm. “Heero, if
something is bothering you, I’d like to hear about it.”

Still he kept silent.

Nora sighed, shaking her
head. “If you are worried about me, then don’t be. I’ll be fine in a few days.”

“That’s not it...” He
mumbled, and then stopped himself. “I mean, I am worried about you,
but... but that’s not why I’m...” He slowly trailed off, burying his face in
his hands. “Forget it.”

Nora heaved a long,
irritated, sigh. “Heero, what’s been bothering you?” She repeated, her tone
harsher than before. He was appealing to her stubborn side now, and he should
know well by now that it should not be messed with.

Heero sighed as well, his
eyes fixed at the floor as he placed both hands over his lap. His gaze was numb
as his voice when he finally mumbled: “I... I’ve been wanting to... to speak to
you, about... about something.”

“What about?” She inquired,
reaching up to tousle his hair briefly, offering a small comfort.

Heero shifted uncomfortably
on the bed, struggling to find the right words. “I... I... I’ve been having
these strange dreams lately, and...” He paused, afraid to continue.

“What dreams?” she asked
worriedly, “Did your nightmares return?”

Heero shook his head, his gaze
still at the floor. “No. Not exactly.” He whispered, and then sighed, running a
hand through his bangs as he pushed them backwards. “They are very disturbing,
but... they’re not the same as before.”

“What do you mean?” Nora
asked, confused.

Taking a deep, faltering
breath, Heero turned to face her. His expression was dreadfully serious as he
spoke. “Lately I’ve been... I’ve been dreaming about your family, Nora. I’ve
been dreaming about... about Hikari.”

Nora visibly stilled at his
words, frozen in her spot. She swallowed hard, and cast her gaze down. “I see.”
She mumbled, reaching a hand to wipe a few chunks of long hair out of her eyes.

Heero berated himself for
bringing up the subject. She was feeling bad as it is, why make it worse?

“I’m sorry. You probably
don’t want to talk about it.” He mumbled, turning away. “You should get some
sleep.” He added solemnly and prepared to rise off the bed.

“No.” Nora stopped him,
reaching for his hand. She held it tight, raising her head up to ‘look’ at him
with a serious and sharp gaze. Her blue eyes were so intense; it was hard to
believe that she was blind. Heero swallowed and slowly sat down.

“I do want to hear about it.”
She said earnestly, squeezing his hand tighter. “Never dare to think
that I don’t want to hear what you have to say, Heero.” She spoke harshly,
trying to convince him with all her willpower. Her eyes somehow found his, and
her blind gaze paralyzed him.

“What do you dream about,
Heero?” she asked slowly, as if speaking to a child, “Tell me.”

“I don’t know...” Heero
mumbled, shaking his head slowly. He sat down by her side, leaning against the
pillows. He didn’t turn to face her, though, when he finally spoke. His gaze
was fixed on his fidgeting hands, his slim fingers playing with the sheets.

“I could never bring myself
to remember my past. I lost every recollection of what I experienced before my
training.” He began quietly, struggling to say every word. “As a child, I
simply accepted the fact that I had nowhere to go, no place to return to. I had
nothing, and yet I always had the feeling that there was something out
there. I spent hours looking out various windows, as if the answer would
somehow come to me.”

“And now it did?” Nora asked
softly, placing a hand over his.

Heero nodded slowly. “I’m...
I’m almost sure that I remember.” He confessed quietly, an uncomfortable
feeling taking over him. “I think that my dreams are trying to tell me
something.”

There was a moment of silence
as Nora slowly absorbed his words. She then turned to face him. “What do you
dream about?”

He sighed, shifting
uncomfortably on the bed. His fingers were still fidgeting as he spoke. “I
dream about a park, mostly. A big green park, in some colony. It’s a familiar
place and I feel happy when I see it.”

“And you’ve never dreamed
about that park before?”

He paused to think for a
moment, until he finally mumbled, “I... I think I did. But not as frequently as
I do now.”

“What else?” She asked, her
fingers tightening around his palm.

“I dream about fire, and fear
and smoke. I see people in my dreams, people which I’m sure I know, which I
love, but then when I wake up it makes no sense.”

Nora nodded, her expression
grave for some reason. “Do you suppose it’s because of what I told you about
Hikari?”

Heero shrugged helplessly and
then shook his head. “No.” he said, his heart beating faster, “It’s not that,
because... because in my dream I know that I am Hikari.”

Nora smiled sadly. “It’s a
very nice idea, Heero.” she whispered, bowing her head sadly, “And I would have
loved it if it was true.” Inhaling deeply, she turned to face him. Her voice
faltered with tears as she spoke. “But it can’t be. I buried both my husband
and my son. I ran my own hands over their burnt bodies. I covered their graves
with dirt and ran my fingers over their tombstone. They were... they’re dead,
Heero. They died a long time ago.”

Dejected and embarrassed,
Heero sighed. He forced himself to chuckle, though his eyes glinted with tears.
“It’s a silly thought, I admit.” He mumbled, his voice small and sheepish,
“Absurd, even.” he continued, feeling stupid for even considering the idea. He
turned to face her, his blue eyes flooded with tears. Nevertheless, he smiled.
“Though I wish badly that it was true.”

Nora smiled back. “So do I,
Heero.” She whispered lovingly, tapping on his hand. “You are a very special
person to me. I love you, and I want you to know that.” she said, taking hold
of his hand and squeezing it tight. “I know that you are not very fond of this
‘mushy’ talk, but... well, I think that even you need to hear it from time to
time.”

Heero chuckled/sobbed, and
then sniffled. Nora leaned forward and gathered him into a tight hug. She
leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling his warm arms wrap around her. She
guided his head to rest on her shoulder as well, her fingers stroking the soft
brown strings like a mother soothing a child after a nightmare. Her blind blue
eyes were also flooded with tears, and she buried her face in his neck, trying
to hold back to sobs.

“I love you dearly, Heero. I
want you to always remember that. Always.” She whispered into his neck, holding
him tighter. She could feel his arms squeeze back.

“I... I love you too, Nora.”
He whispered, his voice faltering and heavy with tears.

They remained locked in their
embrace for a while longer, until both of them calmed. Heero sniffled once, and
then got up, finally breaking off the embrace. His cheeks were damp with tears,
but he smiled down at her nonetheless. She was also smiling shyly, a few tears
still sliding down her pale cheeks. She looked terribly tired, he decided. With
a heavy heart, he rose off the bed.

“You should get some sleep.”
He said hoarsely, his throat dry from crying. He raised the blanket so she
could lie down. Nora nodded silently and he helped hee doe down again. He
pulled the blanket up to her neck, tucking her well under the soft quilt. Nora
chuckled bitterly.

“It seems that the tables
have turned.” She commented, pulling one arm out of the blanket as she sunk her
head deeper into the pillow. “I remember doing the same for you not so long
ago.”

Heero smiled sadly and
reached for her hand, which rested on top of the blanket. “It was over a year
ago.” He informed her, his voice still heavy with emotions.

“Really?” she marveled,
though her tone was sad, “So little time... it’s just not enough...”

“Don’t speak like that, Nora.
It’s not like you.” He said, bending down so he could caress her cheek. He
kissed her forehead lightly, his eyes shining. “Try to get some sleep. You’ll
feel better in the morning.” He whispered gently, slowly rising up. “I’m going
to stay the night, so if you need anything, just call for me.”

He picked up the tray from
the nightstand and prepared to leave.

“Heero,” Ncallcalled after
him, and he slowly turned around to face her.

“Yes?”

She smiled, a small knowing
smile, and her blue eyes shone with some strange gleam. It was a sad glint, and
yet it also sd had happy. Heero swallowed and took a step back towards the bed.
“What is it, Nora?”

Her smiled widened, and she
shook her head. “Nothing, Heero. Goodnight.”

Confused, Heero nodded and
mumbled a small “Goodnight” in return. He left the room and closed the door,
leaving it half open. He spent the rest of the evening cleaning the kitchen and
tending the rest of the apartment. He made a small trip up to his own place to
shower and change. He called Duo to wish him goodnight and then returned to
Nora’s apartment. After checking up on her, he went to the bookshelf in the
living room and took the old photograph out of the book. He looked at it for
hours, until he fell asleep on the sofa, holding the old family photo.

When he came to wake Nora in the morning, she didn’t wake
up.

href="blue_eyes5.html">Part 5

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