Isn't life just a kick in the crotch

As always, beware of jumping POW's and strange grammatic errors. You have been warned.
This is a slightly different version of 'kick in the crotch' then the one I posted on ff.net. This chapter is pretty much the same (in exception for words like cock, balls foreskin and so on) but in the next few chapters you will see a difference. The ff.net version is more focused on the developing friendship while this version has sidetracks where Wufei explores his sexuality more graphically. They will both end up at the same place in the end, they just take different paths to get there. Thank you everyone that reviewed, you words had me smiling like a loon for hours. A very special thanks to AngelicChaos who's review really helped me with my writing.- “I just might take you up on your offer for help, thank you so much”.
Now, on to the story.
-

It took Duo a few seconds to figure out why his head was pounding and his throat hurt like it had been polish with sandpaper. Then the night before came tumbling back. Right. Wufei. Thats why everything hurts. Crying all night will do that to you. He had broken up with Wufei, or Wufei had broken up with him. Or maybe it was more like they had broken up with each other. How ever it was, Duo felt like shit.

“God, why did I agree to all this in the first place?” He asked himself with a groan. But he already knew the answer -'because I would have given anything for it to work.'
The first thing he did was to call in sick. No way was he going to be able to do anything productive at work. This was definitely a perfect time to feel sorry for yourself Duo reasoned.

-

Duo managed to avoid the world and his best friend for two days before he finally gave in and answered the door. If possible, Wufei looked worse then he did. He had bags under his eyes and he looks like he hadn't slept in days. The chines man didn't say a word as he made his way over to the couch and sank down. Dragging his fingers trow his dark messy hair he then looked over to Duo as he sat down next to him.

“Duo, I don't know what to say. I- I'm sorry. I just thought, I could- you know. And I didn't mean to-. I just wanted to make you happy and I thought- I thought that it would work, because I love you, I was just not in love, and- and I mean- I thought, whats the difference, right? And then we started the dating thing and it was alright, and you know... And then I- I started thinking and- and, it all went to hell. But I didn't want to hurt you. I never meant to hurt you. Duo. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry Duo.” By the time he finished he was breathing irregular and tears where running down those porcelain smooth checks. Every droop of them burned like fire in Duo's chest and he could tell his own eyes starting to water. Taking the other man in his arms, he just about pulled him into his lap as he hugged him against his chest.

“Shhyy, it's alright Wu. It's ok. Calm down, it's ok.”

They sat together there for a while while Wufei's painful breathes seemed to shred Duo soul in pieces.

'I knew this would happen. I knew he'd feel guilty. Damn, how do I fix this?' Duo thought franticly.

“Wu, just sit here for a while. I'll get us some coffee. Everything is alright, you have no reason to fell guilty.”

Untangling himself from his friend he quickly made his way into the kitchen. Fumbling for his cellphone he pushed a number he knew by heart. 'Come on, come on, pick up!' Duo breathed out a sigh in relief when he heard Kevin answer.

“Kevin, I need huge favor. I need you to show up here -right now- and pick me up for a date.”
“What? Duo, I love you man, but I wouldn't date you even if-”
“No, I want you to pretend to date me. Wufei is here and he's all guilty and sad, and his breaking my heart. Come on man. Please. Just show up, thats all I ask.”
“Am I going to get another tooth knocked out? Because there is some things that you just don't do, even for you friends.”
“No- no. It's all right. Please Kev, do this for me.”
“Fine, I'll be there in five.”
“Thank you. I so owe you.”

Hanging up Duo took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he leaned back against the wall.
'Right, this is for the best. Strong independent man that's moving on from his childhood crush. Move along people, nothing to see here. No lovesick fools here, no sir.' He thumped the back of his head against the wall he fought to stop the tears that where threatening to fall.

A few minutes later Wufei's quiet steeps was heard as he walked in and stood next to him. And for just a second, Duo felt like everything was like it was supposed to be. Standing in silence next to his best friend like they had done thousands upon thousands of times before. But the moment passed as reality came crashing down with Wufei's next words. “I don't know how I'm going to make this up to you. I fucked up and I hurt you. I can't believe I hurt you like this... I can't even imagine how...” He trailed of.

“It's fine Wu, don't worry about it. I'll bounce back, I always do. This is not the first relationship that didn't work out for me. And it probably won't be the last one.” He sighed and looked down on the floor. “Remember when I told you about Sean?”
“Your first boyfriend?”
“Yeah, I didn't tell you about how we broke up did I?” Wufei shock his head no.
”Well, it wasn't pretty. And if I can pick myself up after that, I think I can do the same now.” He gave a sad smile.
“Duo...” He got cut of by the sound of knocking on the door.
“Sorry, I have to get that.” He said as he forced himself to walk and not run like he wanted to. Opening the door, he was met by the sight of Kevin where he was leaning against the door frame. He was breathing to fast, like he had been running to get there. Duo felt like he had never been so happy to see anyone and couldn't help but hug his friend. “Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you.” he whispered against his ear.

Pulling away he looked over to the kitchen door way were Wufei where watching them.
'Here it goes, If I can just hold it together for a little bit longer. Everything will be alright.'

“Emm, I guess you two already meet, but without the introduction. Kevin, this is Chang Wufei, my best friend. And Wufei, this is Kevin Hall, he's... my date for the evening.”

Wufei's eyes went wide and he seamed lost for words.

Kevin who where obliviously uncomfortable with being there, turned to his *date.* “Emm, are you ready to go Duo?”

Kevin's voice seamed to snap Wufei back to himself. “Right, sorry. I'm just going to go. I'll see you later.” He mumbled, and without another word he walked past them and out the door.

'Just a little longer, just a little bit longer' Duo thought to himself as he counted the time it should take the Chines man to leave the building. 'A little bit longer, just a little more.'

“Are you alright?” Kevin asked with a hand on his shoulder.
“...no.” He whispered before getting pulled into a comforting hug. And there he finally had the luxury to fall apart.

----


Sitting alone at the bar Duo stared down into his glass. Kevin had left for his real date a few hours ago. He had asked if he were going to be be alright and Duo had just laughed and told him to enjoy his date. He hadn't moved since. Letting his drink splash from one side of the glass to the other he thought of the last few days.

'For a few days, I got to have -him-. It felt so good to give in. To love him the way that I always wanted to. I feel like shit now, but it could have been much worse. Imagine what would have happened it we had ignored it, only to have Wufei freak later, like during sex. I would have been scarred for life... I'm grateful that he even tried to change for me. He's probably feeling guilty like hell for failing with his brilliant plan. But it wasn't his fault. I'm gay and he's straight and that's the way it's always going to be. And thats alright... hell, who am I kidding. I just might kill myself the day he finds a girl and settles down. Or worse, I'm going to be his children's favorite uncle who watches them when their parents wants some time alone... fuck, I need another drink.'

In another part of town the object of his thoughts where lying in bed and staring at the celling.

'Damn it, I can't sleep. Evey time I close my eyes I see that guy on top of Duo. Holding him down. Kissing him. Touching him... Am I jealous? No, I can't be. The theory didn't work. But it doesn't matter, because Duo has moved on... Only two days after we broke up. Broke up? Where we even together? Yeah, I think so... It would have been funny to bring Duo along to my parents and present him as my boyfriend. Meilan would have swallowed her tongue at the thought of her brother being gay, especially with her husbands little brother. And my mother would have laughed her ass of at the irony. Dad would... I don't know what he would have done. I guess I'll never know now because Duo is with -Kevin- now. Never know I was that easy to get over.' Turning over he beat his pillow down. 'He better treat him good or I'll kill him.'

-

'Kevin made me his pity project for hours today. It was a nice thought, but someone that has just fallen in love really should -not- try to cheer up someone who's heart is breaking. Because it just makes them feel worse. I kept up a happy face until I managed to convince him that I was fine, so he would leave me alone. When you feel like this, you really need some time alone and the chance to cry your eyes out without someone patting you on the back with a 'there, there, times heals all wounds.' and all that bull. You feel like shit. Your going to feel like shit for a long time. And no good advise or comforting words are going to change that... I wonder how Fei is doing. I wonder what he's doing and- no,no,no stop thinking about him, stop, just stop, stop, stop.'

-

Wufei was drunk and he knew it. He also knew that it was a bad sign that he was drinking alone at home, in front of a black TV screen. But considering how angry and... sad he was at the moment, he really could not care less. He didn't know why he was feeling like this. If it was because he was disappointed that their relationship hadn't worked out, or if it was because he had been dismissed so easily that his pride that where hurting. Duo had moved on. And wasn't that just a kick in the crotch.

He had seen them together today. Damn, he wised that he hadn't.

There were just one store that he knew had the spices that he needed for dinner. Unfortunately that store were just around the block from Duo's apartment. He never made it over to where the spice where because he saw -them- standing among the shelves. The lump had wrapped his arm across Duo's shoulders who where laughing at something. Wufei had turned on his heel and left. To hell with the spices. After a quick stop at liquor store, he made his way home, locked the door and started drinking.

He was sad, angry, confused and drunk. And to make matters worse, he was horny. 'God-fucking-damn-it!' Wufei looked down at his lap.

'I'm not in the mood for this. Fuck. Let's just get this over with.' Fumbling to get his fly open he then shoved his pants and boxers down down far enough to get a grip on his cock. 'Sara from the gym. Sara with the C-cups and ass you just want to pound. Ahhh, yes... and lets not forget that mouth. Mmm, that mouth is bound to know how to satisfy you.'

Thoughts about sucking mouths turned to wicked tongues that turned to one of his favorite fascinations, tongues piercings. Dani, his ex-girlfriend from high school had one of those. 'Damn it was fun to chase that one around her mouth. To bad I never got the chance to try it out on my cock. That must fantastic. Yesss, a metal stud that pressed in all the good places mmm... Duo's tongue is pierced. Damn. His asshole boyfriend probably enjoyed that one. I wondered if Duo practice fellatio. I wondered if he was any good at it. Mmmm, probably, ahh, ahh, ahh, Yeah, he was probably a big success with that tongue stud, not to mention all that hair you could grab a hold of.' Wufei almost didn't realize that his hand had set up a steady rhythm while he was thinking. Or maybe he just didn't want to admit it. What ever it was, he blamed the alcohol as his thoughts made his spine tingle and his legs twits as he pumped his hips up into his tight fist. With his face turned towards the ceiling, Wufei spread his legs further apart and roughly palmed his balls. He groaned deep in his throat as he closed his eyes and envisioned Duo on his knees with his mouth wrapped around his cock. His hair spilling out over his back and over Wufei's naked thighs. That pierced tongue moving along his length, licking and playing with his foreskin. He tightened his grip and let his thumb glide over his leaking head. Duo's eyes glittering as he looked up at him and his lips smiling wickedly around his cock. Wufei came with a shout.