Stargazer

Author’s Note: Hello again! This chapter will be a bit longer than those previously posted. Joy! ^_^ A multitude of ideas and plots and snippets of conversations smacked me in the face yesterday while I was listening to music, and it wasn’t even a brainstorming session! How lucky. Heehee. I was all revved up to start this yesterday evening but everything that I scribbled down at random (all over a piece of computer paper no less) had to be sorted and placed into proper future chapters. Positive side: I’m all set for at least another 3 chapters. Negative side: readers only get to see one at a time!

Disclaimer: Is this really needed a handful of times within one story? I do not own any aspect of DBZ in any way, shape or form.

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Chapter 5


Silence rang throughout the house, nearly a thing completely different from its usual context. This quiet was neither welcoming, nor was it peaceful. On the contrary, the listener would have preferred that there be some sort of noise, some disturbance to break the awful absence of sound. He felt as thought it had weight, he felt it pressing down around him, on him, forcing him to his knees. So heavy... the silence was heavy and so thick it was almost touchable. He felt as though if he’d had the strength to lift his hand, he should have felt the passing of the air currents sluggish and real, like dredging himself up from deep water. He half wished, as he lay sprawled out on the floor, that the silence would just hurry up and flatten him so he wouldn’t have to endure such pain.

A faint tapping began and the man opened bleary eyes black as coal and at the moment just as dull, turning his head almost painfully slow towards the open window. A tiny drop of something cold and wet hit his cheek and he blinked, reaching up and touching a fingertip to the substance. What was this? He struggled to get him mind to work, to think. Rain? Yes... it was raining. He felt a small tug within his chest and sighed, closing his eyes once more. Vegeta loved the rain.

The cold rain pattered gently overhead and splashed lightly upon the windows, running slowly down the dirt coated panes of glass to settle in a small puddle upon their protruding sills. The tapping gradually gained in volume and power until it poured from the sky and drummed out a steady rhythm on the roof. The saiyajin listened to the sound, saddened further by it and at the same time grateful that its presence broke the spell of dangerous silence that had settled over the house in the last few days. A cool wind kicked up and swirled through the open bedroom window, its chilled fingers ghosting over his feverish skin and sending shivers down his spine. Goku’s brow furrowed and he turned his head away to avoid the now constant sheet of drops that managed to find their way through the opening and right onto his head. His hair had become damp on one side and stuck wetly to his cheek.


An odd flapping noise caught his attention and it took him less time than before to figure out that it was the soft lavender curtains hanging from the rod above the window that were billowing out into the room from the wind. The folded edges of the cloth that was long enough to sweep the floor when at a standstill brushed the same cheek that seemed to be getting all the attention. Becoming a bit annoyed about having his face constantly touched, by the elements or other, he heaved a weary, disheartened sigh and rolled over onto his side. The cold air breathed along his back and he shivered again, wrapping his arms around himself and curling up on the plush white carpet. Silken midnight strands of hair moved with the breeze and ghosted themselves across the man’s forehead. He reached up and carelessly brushed them away, settling back into his huddled position. The ebony locks fell forward once more to tickle their owner. He growled and brushed his fingers through the spikes. Why did everything seem to be out to get him now? All he wanted to do was lay here and go to sleep and then wake up just to lay here again.

The lavender curtains snapped sharply as a gust kicked them up, and they lightly brushed over the exposed flesh of his neck and shoulders. The earth saiyajin grumbled something under his breath about Kami plotting against him and blindly reached a hand back, managing to grab a fistful of the soft textured cloth. He tugged harshly, one quick jerk of a movement, and the rod that supported them came crashing down onto the floor, the curtains descending upon him and tangling themselves around his body. As the rod met with the floor, the rounded edge of the bar struck the man in the side of the head.

‘My God!!! Can’t a guy get any peace around here?!’ He mentally groaned, using fingernails to tear easily through the purple cloth that clung to his wet skin. He sat up and pushed back the strands of hair that stuck to his cheek, water collecting on his hands and beading down the backs of his hands. His head was sore where the curtain rod had fallen on him and he rubbed the spot absently, noting with mind amusement that it was the exact same spot where he had had his accident as a child.

‘I guess I wasn’t saiyajin enough for him, after all.’ he mused bitterly, moving to stand on his bare feet. The carpet felt like liquid ice on the soles of his feet and he padded over to the window, shutting it and turning the little twist at the top to lock it. He felt as though he was walking over a bunch of saturated towels as he made his way to the bathroom.

The yellow light snapped on with the flip of a switch and Goku was left squinting into the mirror. His tired eyes widened in surprise as he took in the state he had fallen into, the first time he had really noticed anything in a week.

His hair hung down in odd places, heavy with rainwater. Dark bruises lined his eyes, making him look 10 years older than he was. Old felt about the right speed for him these days. He studied the deep purple and blue markings, shaking his head. What was he doing to himself? He should be done with moping around and beginning to feel something, anything more than the misery that plagued him with every waking moment. Come to think of it, though, he was miserable even when he slept, for his dreams were filled with a certain someone and two very specific encounters that had taken place between himself and the other.

His slumber as of the last few days had left him half wishing that he could simply remain asleep, living within his dreams.

Sighing heavily, the weary man opened the medicine cabinet before him and pulled out his toothbrush, setting about brushing his teeth while his mind wandered. Why did things have to end the way they did? Why did they have to end at all? What awful wrong could he have committed that was big enough to merit this kind of punishment?

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‘You.’

“Me? But... why?”

‘No longer can I tolerate being around you. Your very presence sickens me.’

“But WHY, Vegeta?! What have I done?!”

‘I shall depart in three weeks.’

“No! Don’t do this! You can–“

‘Goodbye, Kakarotto.’

**********

Goku spat bitterly into the sink and rinsed, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. He tried to block out the conversation, paying very careful attention to each movement that he made, each action that he performed. Anything to stop the memories. He padded over to the shower and drew back the curtain hanging from its metal rings, turning the taps on the wall. A warm spray shot out of the shower nozzle and he continued to turn the knob until it was hissing with steam, then sat on the edge of the tub.

He could feel the invisible waves of heat rippling across his skin and stuck his hand underneath the spray, jerking back at the unexpected temperature. Yeesh, it was hot! Removing his rumbled shorts and kicking them into a corner, he stepped into the shower and pulled the plastic curtain closed.

It was swelteringly hot standing inside the porcelain tub and nearly claustrophobic. Clouds of thick white steam billowed around him, bubbling up like the smoke produced by dry ice to pour out into the room from the top of the hangings. Mindful of just how hot the water was, Goku carelessly grabbed a rag from the towel rack on the rear wall and began to scrub himself.

**********

‘Stop following me, Kakarotto!’

“No! I am not going to let you do this!”

‘It’s none of your fucking business!’

“You know damn well that it is!”

‘Go away, baka! Just leave me the fuck alone!’

“Give me one good reason why I should, Vegeta.”

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Goku winced as he realized that he’d be rubbing at the same spot on his arm for a while. He looked down and saw that his flesh had turned a glowing cherry pink, raw to the touch. Mentally cursing himself for not paying attention, he finished cleaning himself in a bit of a rush and hopped out of the shower, gasping as the cooler air from the other side of the curtain hit him when he pulled it back. Kami! The difference in temperature literally took his breath away. Feeling around for a towel as he blinked water out of his eyes, the earth saiyajin walked stark naked into the bedroom while he ran the cloth over his skin, collecting the beads of water as they ran down his toned body. He paused on his journey to the dresser to glance out the window and noticed that the rain had now slowed to a light drizzle.

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‘Let go!’

“No!”

‘I said-LET GO OF ME!’

“Just listen to me! You have to tell me what’s really wrong! I know you’re lying! You-“

’GET OFF!’

“Tell me what’s wrong!! Tell me why you want to leave me!”

‘I can’t leave what I never had to begin with, Kakarotto! LET- ME-GO!’

“What are you talking about?! Of course you have me! You still do, just please, help me understand why you’re doing this!”

‘Stop touching me!’

“Please, Vegeta! Tell me you’re not leaving because of me!”

‘DAMN YOU, KAKAROTTO! GET OFF OF ME! I HATE YOU!’

“You don’t mean that, Vegeta! You just–argh! Vegeta!! VEGETA! GET BACK HERE! WE’RE NOT FINISHED YET!! COME BACK!!! PLEASE, COME BACK!! VEGETAAA! Vegeta...”

***********

“YEOWCH!” Goku yelped, shaking the hand that he’d slammed with the third drawer down from the top of the dresser. Darnit! That really hurt! He splayed his aching, burning fingers and glared at them as they turned an angry red. That would teach him. Grumbling at himself for his lack of attention for the umpteenth time since he’d risen from his favorite spot on the floor, he turned with his arms full of clothes– and tripped over the fallen rod that had thwacked him over the head earlier. He landed hard on his backside, but managed to keep the bundle of clothes clutched tightly to his chest. Growling lowly he righted himself and leapt onto the bed, crouching and glaring at every inanimate thing in the room as if expecting them to make a go for him in a huge revolt. His lengthy mahogany colored tail snapped behind him, bristling; the tail that had grown back the night he had coupled with his prince.

Quickly, the saiyajin dressed on the bed and jumped off, striding to the door and the turning back with his hand on the knob to make sure nothing had moved. Still a little uneasy, he gently closed the door and made his way into the kitchen.

‘What was all that about? First with the wind and then the rain, the curtains and the rod, then the dresser.... and that same damn rod... I tell you, everything’s out to get me these days.’ He grabbed a pan from its respective cabinet and set it on the stove, opening and shutting wooden doors and drawers until he had a nice assortment of utensils at his disposal, all neatly lined up on a counter top. Brightening a bit at the prospect of food, Goku began fixing himself a hearty meal, humming a tune lightly under his breath.

RIIIIINGGGGGGGGG!!!!

“Mother of Dende!” he snarled as the jar of strawberry jam he was holding slipped and shattered all over the floor in a spattering of dark red goo and gleaming shards. “What else could possibly go wrong?! It’s only 10:30 and already it’s topped my personal chart of ‘worst day in history’ he grumbled, stalking over to the phone resting atop a table in the hallway beyond and snatching it up.

“Hello?” he asked, trying to hold back the frustration and annoyance that colored his words.

“Goku?” came a timid voice on the other end.

He stood there with the phone cradled between shoulder and ear. Was that...? But why would she be calling him? She hadn’t spoke to him since she found out about himself and the ouji...

“Bulma?” he inquired warily, cautiously. Had she phoned him just to scream at him some more?

“Yeah, it’s me.” she said. He couldn’t hear any anger or malice in her tone, but... “Goku, did you know that Vegeta is leaving Earth?”

The statement took a cruel stab at his already high strung nerves. “Is he really?” he managed to say through gritted teeth.

“Oh, don’t get all pissy with me, mister. I just had to ask before I went any further.” she sniffed. Goku felt a strange little smile tug at the corners of his mouth.

“Bulma, not that I’m not thrilled that you’re actually having a civilized chat with me instead of trying to bitch my ears off, but what exactly is it that I can do for you?” There. He’d said it as calmly as he could. He was actually proud of himself.

“ You know, there’s something about... you that reminds me of Vegeta... you sound a lot like him. Maybe you two HAVE been spending too much time together.” there was a sharp clip to her words, though they were said conversationally. Casually, even. Good ‘ole Bulma, able to insult anyone with the slightest inflection of her voice. Goku chuckled, but the sound was less than friendly, even to his own ears. He sighed and realized that although they had been fighting for the better half of two months, he was actually glad to be on speaking terms with her again. There are some things certain people just couldn’t do without, and his friends were one of those things.

“I’m sorry. It’s just been very stressful these past few weeks. So, what can I do for you?” with the knowledge that he was glad to talk to his childhood friend came a measure of peace. Maybe things weren’t as bad as he was making them out to be...

“Well, when I tried to ask Vegeta where he got off taking one of my ships, all he did was tell me to fuck off. I want to know what is going on, but he’s been storming around the place in a very foul temper and he’s being extremely tight lipped, as always. Since apparently the two of you are supposed to be an item now, I was sort of hoping that you might be able to fill me in on what his royal jackass is up to. I mean, I thought the two of you were living together or something, since I haven’t seen him around.” the saiyajin picked up the thread of hostility that she was working so hard on to suppress, for which he was grateful. He didn’t know if he could take another screaming match with the condition he was in.

“Well... he’s not talking to me, either.” he said, and he felt as though the bottom had dropped out of his stomach. Suddenly he didn’t feel very hungry, though the delicious smells that drifted over to him through the open kitchen doorway still made his mouth water.

“Goku? Are you alright? I mean, you just sounded so.... so-“

”Hmm?”

“Sad. Lost.” her tone grew a touch softer.

“Mm.”

“What is going on between you guys, Goku? What is this all about?” she asked. It was odd, but she almost sounded as if she were sympathizing with him instead of fighting not to yell at him. He was almost convinced. He sighed heavily and rubbed his temple with his free hand. “Goku?”

He didn’t want to talk about this. He wasn’t really in a talking mood in general. Why was she going to make him say it? His throat began to itch and for a moment he wasn’t sure whether he was going to laugh, cry or cough. Hot tears pricked his eyes and he rubbed furiously to erase them. No more! He was stronger than this. He was Goku, savior of the earth, father of two wonderful boys, widower of the late Chichi, former strongest female human on the planet.

“...Goku? Please talk to me.” she said gently. “Are you alright?”

“No.” even to him he sounded defeated. No. He was not! He could do better than this.

“Why is Vegeta leaving, Goku?” she asked in a hushed voice.

“Apparently,” he gave back, just as quietly, “apparently... it’s because of– because...”

“Why?”

“Me.” he whispered. He took a step back from the table and hung up the phone, staring at the white washed walls that his wife had kept so clean. He pressed a palm over his eyes and looked skyward, counting to ten slowly under his breath. He was fine. He was going to be okay. He was being childish. When he was sure that he wouldn’t start screaming or put his fist through the wall or do something equally as bad, he lowered his hand and looked down at the phone.

“Thanks for calling, Bulma. It was nice to catch up.” he muttered, a small smile playing over his lips. His nose wrinkled as a nasty smell invaded his nostrils. Ugh! What was that? It smelled like something was burning...

“Ah, no! My breakfast!” he groaned. The tall raven haired man raced back into the kitchen in time to see brilliant orange flame licking at the ceiling, causing the white paint to black and curl, peeling back to expose the wood underneath. “Oh, no, no! Pancakes! Nooooo....” Goku extinguished the fire with a small ki blast and walked over to the blackened pan. All that was left of the pancakes was a thin, blackened crisp glued to the bottom of the pan.

“...I really wanted to eat those....”



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Everything is out to get him! *gasp* Heya. Sorry for the stall on the update. I found out a few days ago that the landlord gave us until the end of the month to pack up and move somewhere, so my family and I have been doing just that. I don’t know when I’ll lose computer access nor when it will be up and running again once I do.

This was not the original content of the chapter. I had other things going on, but decided that since this segment was so lengthy that I would just take the rest and make it int o its own chapter. Otherwise this one would have been like a two in one. Not a bad thing, mind you, just harder to proof read. Heh.

Pixelgoddess- So it seems. ^_^ I was actually proud of that first \'idiot review\'. strangely enough. Heehee. Yes, it does seel like Vegeta is running, doesn\'t it? The thing is though, that there are things in my fic that are based off of illusion. ^_~ Thank you for continuing to review.

Schwarzwald- I am sorry that I\'ve caused you pain, but it makes me very happy that you are so into the fic. ^_^ Thank you for continuing to review.

Webtester01- I hope that I have encouraged you further. ^_^ You have once again managed to contribute to the drive I need to continue on writing. Goku does care Very deepy for Vegeta, and as much as the prince tries to convince others as well as himself that he doesn\'t feel for the man, we all know that he does.


Well, that\'s all for now. Bye! ^_^