Witness

Chapter Five: To Be

A/N: I sort of jump between points of view in this chapter a bit. However, I think it should be fairly obvious as to who’s point of view you are reading.

Warnings: None, unless you can’t handle a kiss.

~~~~~~~~~

Kira woke for the third time the next morning, still feeling both physically and emotionally drained. As hard as he tried, he could not sleep off the emotional hangover that was consuming his mind, and his soul. He felt confused; his mind proceeded in an endless loop. At one moment he convinced himself he was right, the next, his mind told him he was not.

‘How can so many people be wrong?’ he thought to himself. He lied in bed for as long as he could, but was finally forced from its warm embrace to use the washroom. Getting up seemed like the hardest thing in the world at the moment.

Trudging his way to the washroom, Kira could not help but think about Hamlet’s greatest dilemma, “To be, or not to be?”, and ponder the question himself.

After washing his hands, Kira splashed his face with cold water, hoping it would shake some of the dark thoughts from his mind. He was embarrassed to admit it sort of worked, too. He emerged from the washroom and noticed pleasant smells and harsh sounds emanating from the kitchen, both of which had previously gone unnoticed.

He walked down the hallway towards the kitchen, overcoming the temptation of his door, and the security promised by his bed as he passed by it. Upon entering the kitchen, his eyes immediately settled on the table. It was neatly set for two people, with plates filled with sausage, eggs, and toast settled in the middle. However, the sound of running water, and Athrun’s mumbled curses eventually shifted his eyes towards the sink, and his roommate.

Approaching carefully, Kira rounded the table to see what Athrun was doing. He slid a chair under the table as he moved, alerting Athrun of his presence.

“Ah, you’re up,” said Athrun, swinging his head around to get a glance at his tired friend, “I was just about to wake you…”

Kira could now see the tap, and Athrun’s hand underneath the steady stream of icy water. “What happened,” asked Kira, already well aware of what Athrun had done to himself.

“What? This?” replied Athrun, gesturing to his injured hand, “nothing. Really, it’s nothing. Sit down, fix your plate and I’ll be there in a minute.” This, however, did nothing to slow Kira’s advance.

Once close enough, Kira could see a nasty burn on the top of his friend’s hand. ‘Probably an oil burn,’ the brunette thought to himself as he reached forward to touch the injured hand and inspect it more closely. However, when his hand finally reached Athrun’s, the touch felt strange and unusual; wrong. He quickly withdrew his hand. Instead, Kira decided to help by retrieving the burn spray from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. This certainly was not the first time Athrun had burned himself while cooking. He moved quickly; faster then he would have thought possible only a few minutes ago.

It was not long before Athrun was generously spraying the afflicted area. He must have felt obligated to provide an explanation to Kira, who was looking at the burned, red skin of Athrun’s hand. “Grease,” explained Athrun, gesturing to the frying pan at the bottom of the sink, “I spilled it on my hand wile trying to pour it out…”

“Oh,” replied Kira, “it looks like you got quite a bit on you.”

“Well, it was more of a pour than a spill I suppose…” confessed Athrun, “I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was doing.” Kira nodded in comprehension, but made it quite clear by the look on his face that he thought Athrun should be more careful.

‘He thinks that just because it won’t explode, its not dangerous…’ thought Kira as he continued to give Athrun his disapproving glare.

“But let’s not let my sacrifice be in vain,” joked Athrun, glancing at the food on the table, “let’s eat. I think it might actually taste okay this time.”

Kira could not help but to smile. ‘As always, leave it to Athrun to brighten my day,’ he thought as he took his usual seat at the table. In spite of his slightly lifted mood, Kira still lacked the appetite Athrun expected from him. He shuffled his food from one side of his plate to the other, occasionally taking a bite to appease Athrun. The delay had caused the food to go a little cold, but fortunately, Kira wasn’t eating, and Athrun did not care.

However, Athrun was not oblivious to his roommate’s foul mood, nor his lack of appetite. “So, why are you so tired today?” asked Athrun, hoping this question would pave the way to the information he truly wanted. “Did you not sleep well last night?”

“No, not really,” replied Kira, downplaying his actual mood as much as possible. “Just one of those nights, I guess.”

“Ah,” replied Athrun in a knowing manner. Truth be told, he had also had one of “those nights” last night. There was a brief pause in the conversation as Athrun prepared to switch the direction of the conversation. “So, how did supper go? I forgot to ask last night,” questioned Athrun.

Hesitating, Kira tried to decide how he wanted to approach this question. “Well,” began Kira, “we fought. As usual.” He was hoping he could end the conversation there, but Athrun’s silent attention told him otherwise. “It was worse this time than usual, though.”

“What did you guys fight about?” asked Athrun. He has already guessed what Kira has told him.

Once again, Kira hesitated, not wanting to divulge the true cause of the fight. “You know, the usual things…” he finally stated lamely. He hated hiding things from his best friend; the one person he truly loved. However, he simply could not bring himself to tell Athrun the truth. What if Athrun rejected him as well? At the moment, Athrun was the only person left in Kira’s life. No, he simply could not risk losing Athrun now. Sometimes, secrets are better.

However, Athrun would not accept this answer. He had seen Kira after “the usual”, and he was never this miserable. He continued to ask several probing questions, while trying to not upset Kira in the process. A battle of wits with Kira was never an easy prospect, though.

Finally, sensing Kira’s patience begin to wane, Athrun decided to tell a story about the last fight he had ever had with his father, hoping to touch a sympathetic nerve in Kira, and, perhaps, coax out some more information.

Passively listening, Kira’s mind slowly began to wander, and inevitably found itself replaying the events of the previous night.

‘I lost everything,’ he thought to himself, aching on the inside. ‘I lost everything, and I don’t even know if the person I gave it up for could ever return these feelings.’ He looked across the table at Athrun. The green-eyed boy was still talking; about what, Kira could not be sure.

‘I had to tell them eventually, I suppose,’ reasoned Kira, going through the scenario once more, ‘this is who I am after all…’ He could not help falling deeper and deeper into his thoughts. It was an uncomfortable place. Soon, even the sound of his best friend’s voice was completely drowned by the waves of confliction feelings.

Athrun rose to his feet, collecting his own empty plate, and Kira’s, practically full plate, and moved them to the counter next to the sink. Talking the whole time, he repeated the process with the plates that held the food, which, thanks to his efforts, were also practically empty. Upon rejoining his friend at the table, he gave Kira a searching look. It was obvious his roommate was no longer paying attention. Kira was staring at the cupboards, straight through Athrun.

“Hey,” said Athrun, trying to regain Kira’s attention. He waved his hand near the other boy’s face, and called his name, to no avail. Finally, Athrun rose, walked around to Kira’s side of the table. He hesitated for a moment, before leaning over and putting his face mere inches from his friend’s.

“Kira?”

--------

Kira was only vaguely aware of movement across the table, and he decided to ignore it. He was far more interested in the argument occurring in his mind. Sadly, he thought that both sides made very valid arguments. He could sense someone standing beside him, but still, he decided to ignore it. He could not, however, ignore the appearance of Athrun’s face in front of his own. A couple inches were all that separated him from his greatest desire.

Then the other boy said his name. It felt so good. His name, coming from those lips, so close to his own. It was just too good an opportunity to let pass. Leaning forward, he brought his lips to those that just said his name, and kissed them softly. His mind was finally clear.

--------

Athrun was shocked. His lips were suddenly in contact with Kira’s. Initially, his reaction was to pull away. However, he could not bring himself to do it. Instead, he remained still, stunned. The kiss was chaste, yet passionate, and it felt…right.

Finally, the two parted, avoiding each other’s eyes. Kira was looking at the floor, and Athrun was staring at the ceiling.

“Sorry,” said Kira, tears welling in his eyes, “I needed to know…” And now he did.

Athrun did not speak for a moment. “So, that was what you fought about?”

TBC…

~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Okay, I don’t know if there is anyone left out there who cares to read my story, but there it was, the long awaited fifth chapter. I cannot offer any reason or excuse as to why this update took so long. I do, however, offer my sincerest apologies to my loyal fans. There will be an update to either this story, or “Captured” by February 24. Guaranteed!

Oh, and as always, please R&R!