Just This Once

Thank you for your patience dear reader.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Roy leaned back in his chair and brushed nonexistent lint from the knees of his uniform trousers, affecting an air of casual indifference that he didn't feel. Long practice at using false body language and facial expressions served him well in public settings. Hughes had entered the restaurant with the same casual nonchalance he always displayed. He wove his way around teak dining booths, passed potted plants and dodged rushing servers. His military uniform was impeccable, and he smiled with the easy grace of a man who had everything he wanted in life, but his sharp gaze took in every detail of the patrons around him as he made his way to the table. He reached down and pulled out his chair with his right hand while fishing in his inner breast pocket with his left. Roy made no move to acknowledge him other than following the man with his eyes waiting to see what he would do. The Fish Club was a very popular restaurant and crowded at this hour. Anyone trying to listen in on their conversation would have to listen closely.

"Colonel Mustang!" Hughes enthusiastic greeting rang out as he sat across from Roy and brandished a sheaf of what appeared to be pictures of his daughter. "How generous of you to invite me to lunch! But really I would have been happy to bring my latest batch of pictures of my sweet, angel of goodness by your office!" Hughes hugged the pictures a little and Roy noted with a silent smirk that the eyes of the other diners pointedly turned away from their table.

Roy picked up the elegant parchment menu as Hughes slid the envelope across the white linen tablecloth, looking for all the world as if it were the last thing he wanted to touch. "Yes, but then you would miss the opportunity to lighten my wallet with your appetite at the same time." Roy's low drawl came from behind his menu.

A slender, pretty server in sleek black trousers and a crisp white shirt appeared at their table. Her hair was pulled up in an elegant twist and Roy lowered his menu smiling at her with suggestive eyes. "Hello, my name is Laura and I'll be your server today." She blushed faintly and leaned a little closer to Roy. "Can I get you gentlemen anything to drink?"

"I'll have a club soda." Roy's smile widened. In his mind he calculated the odds that "Laura" was observant of the patrons of this restaurant and their guests. It was exactly the kind of place that higher ranking officials might come to for lunch and an intelligent server might learn some very useful things.

"I'll have the same." Hughes replied when she glanced at him briefly.

"Very good and would either of you like an appetizer to start you off? Or are you ready to order?" Roy didn't miss the slight inflection in the way she said appetizer.

"I think I'll pass for now, thank you." Roy’s gaze never left her as he replied. "Hughes?"

"Yes, I'd like the crab cakes, please." Hughes didn't bother to look at the girl this time, his eyes now trained on his menu. Likewise, she didn't even spare him a glance.

"Excellent," She wrote briefly on her note pad. "I'll be right back with your drinks."

Roy's eyes followed the slight sway of her hips as she walked away then his eyes returned to the menu. He had the brief thought that there was the perfect candidate for a satisfying and brief fling, unlike another more treacherous attraction that plagued him lately. Speaking of which...

“Hakuro is having Fullmetal and his brother followed.” Roy felt a chill rush down his back and pool in his stomach at Maes' softly spoken words. His gaze lifted from his menu to the man sitting opposite him at the table.

“Why?” Was the only word that came out when he attempted to speak.

“I can’t be sure.” Hughes gaze never wavered from the menu in his hands. “Rumor has it that some of the higher ups are under the impression that he follows your orders with more diligence then you’ve lead them to believe.”

Roy made a derisive sound and let that information sink in while he debated his next question. Several vied for his attention; why did that warrant having him followed? What could they gain from watching him so closely on missions? Did that mean they were going to continue to have him followed when he returned to East City? And most important did that reflect poorly on Roy or did it mean that they were gaining confidence in his ability to command his subordinates?

"There are those who think Fullmetal's successes at such a young age are a little too good to be random chance," Hughes was still studying his menu as if he hadn't spoken. "The way he makes it look, he just stumbles upon these situations and somehow uncovers plots and descent among anti-military factions, making them "magically" work out in favor of the military. Many are questioning the outwardly antagonistic appearance of your relationship."

"Hughes you know as well as I do that the antagonism between us is in no way an appearance." Roy snorted.

"True, but from a distance it could be viewed as "the ‘lady protests too much’ as it were." Hughes looked up then and set his closed menu down on the table.

"Which one of us are you calling a ‘lady’?" The focus in Roy's eye sharpened, "Because even if he had the right parts he would never be a lady."

Hughes chuckled at that. "There's no question on that count Roy, but I have to admit that from a certain perspective the scenario has an appearance of validity." Hughes gaze was now fixed on him and there was no mistaking the question in his eyes.

"Hughes even if he is following orders more then he appears what do they hope to learn from following him on missions? Other then just how much trouble he gets himself into." Roy tried to divert the conversation for the moment. Even if it was for the wrong reasons there were clearly others who were seeing that things weren't as they appeared between him and Ed. But Roy's calculating mind quickly latched on to the idea that he could use this to his advantage. If he allowed others to see just enough of the relationship but not enough to draw the correct conclusions, if he allowed his superiors to continue to see just enough of what was happening but limit it so they continued to think the wrong things about it, it would be the perfect diversion. He needed more information on just how closely the interested parties were looking. "Why would they have him followed when they could stick to watching him in East City much easier? Or are they watching him here as well? Most important is this gaining me ground or causing me to loose it?"

Laura returned with their drinks cutting off Hughes reply. "Here you are gentleman." She set the drinks down in front of them leaning over Roy to his far side and giving him a better view of her assets through the white shirt. "I'll go check on you appetizer for you." But her eyes were fixed on Roy as she said it.

"Tell you what, Roy," Hughes worked to bring Roy's attention back to him. "I'll answer your questions, as much as I can, if you let me in on the truth. Tell me about this and why you needed a clean room to talk to him."

Roy considered his friend for a moment. Sure he trusted Hughes with everything involving his military career and most of his personal life but this was something even the most open minded person in Amesteris might react badly about. Hughes was also a father, a father who had taken the Elrics under his wing. Then again he might be just the voice of reason Roy needed to avoid committing career suicide. "Deal, but on one condition," Roy paused.

Hughes eyes filled with suspicion. "You know I'm on your side Roy. Why do you need conditions from me?"

"This situation is unusual even for Ed." Roy continued. "That's my condition; just hear me out before you jump to conclusions. Nothing has really changed from how they appear...yet."

"Alright, Roy," Hughes folded his arms across his chest. "I'm listening."

"Hakuro is right, in a sense." Roy considered his next words carefully. "Ed's motivations aren't as obvious as it seems, but he's not following my orders any more then he has to. I wish it were some kind of conspiracy between us to further our goals, but that isn't what he wants."

"What does he want then?" Hughes looked perplexed.

Roy sighed heavily, it was ironic really. What Ed wanted was what a lot of people wanted from Roy, but it was the one thing they rarely truly had, no matter what his reputation. Roy decided against subtlety and went the direct route. He braced himself for Hughes reaction, hoping he wasn't about to get beaten in public. "Sex."

Hughes had picked up his drink to take a sip and choked. The server arrived in the nick of time to pat his back. When he had recovered his face was a mask.

"Are you okay, sir?" Laura asked setting his appetizer on the table.

Hughes looked up at her seriously and said, "I'm fine, thank you. My drink went down wrong. I'll be more careful."

"I'm sorry, sir." She sounded sincere. "Would you like me to bring you a new one?"

"No." Hughes waved her off. "It was my fault, really."

She departed with a slight frown and Hughes turned back to Roy. He was still braced for Hughes response and he nearly lost his legendary composure when Hughes barely suppressed laughter filled his ears. He watched Hughes face turn slightly red in his mirth as the man struggled to regain control of himself. A scowl grew on Roy's face.

"I'm glad you find this situation so amusing." Roy's voice was thick with irritation.

Hughes cleared his throat. Roy could almost see the man's mind making the connections this new information made clear. "Just to make sure I have this correct." Hughes tone wavered with his humor. "The reason Ed get's so loud and obnoxious around you, the reason the tension between you two is thick enough to cut with one of my blades, the reason..." Hughes voice lowered a bit and he leaned forward, "…he was seen entering your apartment the other night and then running out less than an hour later like his coat was on fire, the reason you needed a clean room to talk to him the next day is that he has the hots for you and he's been chasing you like a general after his secretary."

"Basically, yes." Roy confirmed.

"It's so obvious and yet seems so beyond the realm of possibility." Hughes marveled. "It's not an idea I would have ever entertained. You're reputation and the age difference, not to mention both of your positions in the military. The poor kid. He's got it bad then?"

"Apparently," Roy raised an eyebrow at Hughes. "I have to admit that I'm surprised you aren't angry at me. I expected - well, I don't know exactly what, but you don't seem to upset by this."

Hughes brow furrowed in confusion. "Why would I be mad? Ed's had it hard enough as it is. Now he finds he has a thing for an older man on top of everything else. And not just any man but his superior officer who delights in pissing him off..." Hughes voice trailed off for a moment and he suddenly leveled a dangerous glare at Roy. Roy realized his mistake too late. He hadn't actually told Hughes that the attraction was mutual. Hughes hadn't considered it could be until he opened his fat mouth. "Roy, I don't think you have explained yourself fully yet and I don't like where this conversation is going. Please tell me that there is more to this and it does not involve me finding out that the reason Ed ran out of your apartment is because you...you..."

Roy held up his hands in a defensive gesture. "Yes - I mean - NO!" Roy had to make an effort to control his voice then. "I mean, yes there is more to this and no Ed ran out because he was upset about what he had done not what I did to him. Look, why don't we continue this conversation on the way back to the office? I didn't intend to have this out here and now. I think my appetite is gone anyway and this is too public of a place for this."

"If this is just a scheme to get out of paying for lunch Roy, I'll find a way to make you regret it." Hughes teeth were gritted as he spoke.

The server chose that moment to reappear. "Are you gentleman ready to order?" Her lovely smile was firmly back in place.

"I really need to get back to the office." Roy added a charming smile for good measure. "Hughes why don't you order something to take with you? That way you don't miss out on lunch as well.”

“Alright.” Hughes voice was anything but compliant, but he ordered without argument. When Laura left again Hughes continued. “But you owe me a relaxed lunch at the restaurant of my choice, for this.”

“Agreed,” Roy sighed. “As soon as there’s time.”

“Tomorrow,” Hughes insisted. “Or I’ll never get it.”

“Hughes you know as well as I do that Hawkeye will never allow me to take a long lunch two days in a row.” Roy’s reply was exasperated.

“I’ll handle it.” Hughes sounded a little smug. “Don’t worry, I’ll get my meal.”

Roy smirked a little at that. He’d love to see Hughes fail at convincing Lieutenant Hawkeye of his need for another long lunch.

When the server came back with Hughes food in take out bags and Roy had paid, tipping her generously and winking as she requested that they come back soon, they headed out of the restaurant in silence. Roy’s reprieve was short lived. Still it was easier to make sure they weren’t being followed and their conversation overheard and that did sooth his nerves some.

“So tell me the whole truth, Roy.” Hughes was adamant. “Don’t leave anything out. How long has this been going on?”

“First, nothing has really happened,” Roy blanched as he admitted the truth, “yet.”

“What do you mean yet?”

“Let me start at the beginning.” Roy cleared his throat and had the grace to look guilty at Hughes ire. “I’ve known for some months that Ed has harbored an interest in me that wasn’t platonic. He’s been indicating his interest the best he can at such an awkward age and in a difficult situation. I had hoped he would loose interest and move on when he didn’t meet with any success. I didn’t want to have to hurt him by turning him down outright.”

“Roy, when has Ed ever given up on anything he set his mind to?”

Roy looked contrite. “Good point, which unfortunately doesn’t relieve my guilt on this. It had finally come to the point where I realized I would have to let him down as easy as I could. I tried to explain why this wouldn’t work and nothing could happen.” Roy could easily see now how badly he had handled this and that made it all the more obvious to him why he hadn’t seen things clearly before. Maybe Ed wasn’t the only one who had it bad.

“Ah, and I can well imagine how that went.” Hughes added.

“Yes, the discussion started to get loud so I decided it was time to end it and pick it up in a more private location.”

“You do realize that this whole thing is sounding worse as you explain it not better?”

Roy growled a little in irritation. “Yes, but it didn’t seem that way until now. It seemed like the lesser of two evils. Discuss Ed’s attraction in the office, or some other equally public place, so the rumor could spread like a wild fire or discuss it in private where I knew we wouldn’t be overheard. Except it didn’t go the way I planned.”

“It doesn’t sound like you planned at all, Roy.” Hughes had stopped and he was studying him thoughtfully.

Roy continued to walk forcing Hughes to catch up. When they were walking together again he continued. “I tried every argument I could think of. His age, our positions in the military, his brother’s reaction, the world’s reaction, anything I could think of to get him to see reason.” It was Hughes turn to snort in derision at that. “Yes, I know this is Edward Elric; reason is more of a stranger to him than height.”

Hughes laughed outright at that. “Roy, are you sure you intended to win that fight?”

Roy sighed heavily. “No, that’s the thing that keeps coming back to me. If I had wanted to win I would have simply ordered him to stop coming on to me on pain of military punishment as his commanding officer. He doesn’t follow orders often but if he thought I might put his search for the stone at risk in order to make him stop he would have given up. He never lets anything get in the way of his search to restore his brother. At least he never has before. That’s part of the problem. I couldn’t really argue the logic that he doesn’t have the luxury of having a life outside of his and his brother’s goal. I’m living the same way after all.”

“So what part of the argument caused him to run away?” Hughes asked. “Doesn’t sound like anything you said was enough scare him off?”

“It wasn’t.” Roy almost couldn’t force himself to say his next words. “He stopped listening and before I could react he was…”

“Was?” Hughes prompted.

“He jumped in my lap and – well – held me down in the chair and he –“

“Wait a minute!” Hughes interrupted. “Are you going to say that Ed…” His words cut off as if he was at a loss.

“No!” Roy’s defense of Ed was vehement. “He just asked me to touch him. He just wanted to be touched…just once.” His words became quiet. “He took my hand and put it against him and I just let him. And then I was helping him and he was so…stunning. He got so upset when he realized what he was doing that he just ran out. I tried to stop him to tell him it wasn’t his fault but he wouldn’t listen. I barely slept. I couldn’t shut my thoughts out. It was almost painful to see his guilt and he wasn’t guilty, I wasn’t upset about it.” Roy trailed off. Because I wanted - want him too, he finished silently to himself. In a way he was relieved to finally admit the truth even if it was only in his own mind. But being faced with it openly only made it that much more impossible to avoid. Ed was beautiful, and wild, and passionate, and Roy didn’t think he could fight him if he wanted to.

“You obviously aren’t going to punish him, but he clearly has feelings for you, Roy.” Hughes look bordered on dangerous. “What are you going to do about it?”

“I can’t just brush it off casually.” Roy struggled to find the words to explain without upsetting his friend. He couldn’t quite let this go yet, but Hughes might not react well to that information. “Ed doesn’t deal well with rejection and I don’t want him hurt needlessly. Maybe he just needs a chance to feel closer to someone other then Al. It might be enough to allow him time to get over it.”

Hughes stopped again staring at Roy in shock. Roy waited for his execution. But it never came. Hughes studied him for a moment and then his brow furrowed in thought. His next words left Roy baffled. “You care for him.”

“Of course I care for him, Maes, I’ve been watching out for the Elrics for several years now. Their ambitions help my ambitions but I’m not just using them carelessly. You of all people know that.”

Hughes grimaced and waved his hands as if to clear the air. “No, I mean you care about Ed. He matters to you.”

Roy’s mouth dropped open and he gulped a little at the air like a fish but no words came to his defense.

“So, that’s what you needed the clean room to talk to him about. What he did and what the two of you are going to do about it.” Hughes waved at Roy dismissively when he began to protest. “What did you tell him Roy? What are you going to do about this?”

“If you think I confessed my undying love you’re goofier then I thought, Hughes.” Roy’s voice dripped annoyance.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Hughes shot back. “I never said anything about love. But it does make a difference that Ed matters to you.”

“Of course he does. But what exactly are you trying to say?” Roy demanded.

“I know that if he really matters to you, you’ll think of him first. This whole thing is tactically stupid, emotionally crazy and all around dangerous. Just exactly the kind of thing Ed would jump feet first into. He could get really hurt if you were to use his feelings towards you callously. No one who cares about Ed could hurt him like that. But you have a point about him needing to know someone cares for him besides his brother.” Hughes conviction of the relative integrity of Roy’s intentions regarding Ed was clear. “So what did you tell him?”

Roy shook his head and began walking again. Hughes kept pace easily this time. “I did manage to convince him that he wasn’t in trouble for attacking a superior officer. I did tell him that I wasn’t upset at his actions. But I made it clear that this is a very difficult situation for both of us and that we shouldn’t rush into it.” Roy sighed. “And I did tell him that I would consider this…arrangement, if he would take it slow and be smart about it. It can’t do much harm just spending some time with him.”

“You know you may be right. He hasn’t really had anyone outside his family to turn to for companionship. Ed doesn’t have a big brother. You could be just the person to help keep him from being to lonely while he works toward his goals.” Hughes laughed and threw his arm around Roy’s shoulders patting him in a consolatory fashion. “So you’re going to go slow and spend time with Ed using Hakuro’s inaccurate assumptions as a cover.”

Roy cringed inside at the word brother, but he didn’t correct Hughes misconception. His intentions were far from brotherly, but Hughes clearly needed to see it that way. "It had occurred to me that Hakuro's misunderstanding of the situation might prove useful.”

“Yes, adding just the right amount of fuel to the fire of his suspicions might be just what you need to throw him off the scent, so to speak.” Hughes agreed. “And just maybe things will work out okay. Hell, Roy, Ed’s a teenager. You remember what that was like. He’ll discover that sex isn’t what he wants from you and change his interest in you before you get beyond the small talk.”

“I certainly hope so.” Roy hoped his voice was convincing. He couldn’t help but wonder about the pang of disappointment the idea brought.