Witness

Chapter Six: Rejection

A/N: As promised, here is the next chapter. Thank you for the wonderful reviews. They are, as always, greatly appreciated.

Warnings: None.

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Athrun did not know what else to say. Even if something did come to his mind, there was no guarantee it would translate into cognisant words at the moment. It was funny, he had dreamed of kissing Kira, and now that it happened, he was unable to speak, or convey any of the emotions he had held for so long.

To Kira, Athrun’s quiet was torturous. He slowly began backing away from his former friend. Tears were welling in his eyes. Athrun’s silence could mean only one thing: rejection. Perhaps, the blue-haired boy was thinking of a kind way to say no; perhaps he was trying to restrain himself from striking Kira. Athrun’s normally telling emerald eyes were expressionless, and offered Kira no insight to Athrun’s thoughts or feelings.

Although saddened, Kira justified his actions in his mind. ‘I needed to know,’ he thought dejectedly, ‘and now… I guess I do…’ Honestly, Kira knew from the moment their lips touched that this was the most probable outcome. ‘Athrun’s not gay…’

Swarming thoughts distracted and confused Athrun. He had worked so hard at hiding what he was from the world. Did he really want to throw it all away? His attention was held so firmly by these thoughts that he did not even notice his friend back away, or hear him begin to sob. Once again, his mind was split: one side urged him to seize this opportunity for happiness, the other warned him of the potential for misery. He found himself wavering between the two.

A soft, yet audible thud pulled Athrun back to reality. Slightly dazed, he glanced around, his eyes following the sound of crying.

Kira had backed into the wall, and allowed himself to slide to the floor. His head hung between his raised knees, his arms wrapped tightly around them. His body shook with each stifled sob. In Kira’s mind, his life was over; he had just lost the last person he truly cared for.

At that moment, gazing upon his friend, Athrun’s heart clenched. Every argument going against it was cast into oblivion, and his mind was made clear. Slowly, he approached his downcast friend. He leaned on the wall beside him, and slid to the floor to join the sobbing boy. He waited for a moment to see if Kira would respond. Athrun was not surprised when he did not. The smaller boy must have been finding it easier to ignore him.

Finally, Athrun wrapped his arm around Kira’s shoulders. He now noticed the brunette was trembling slightly. ‘Is he actually scared?’ wondered Athrun, before realizing that if the rolls were reversed, he would be terrified.

“I’m not upset…” Athrun whispered into Kira’s ear, pulling the boy in closer. This apparently did nothing to calm the violet-eyed boy. Undeterred, Athrun continued, “I’m actually sort of… well, really happy you did it…”

Kira continued to ignore his former friend, while bitter tears continued to stream down his face. He did not believe Athrun’s words; his previous actions spoke much louder. He was convinced this was merely damage control. That Athrun was simply trying to save a small portion of what was once their friendship. However, his theory was shattered when he felt a soft kiss placed on the top of his head. A flood of emotions overcame Kira, and washed away a great deal of his depression. He did not expect the simple gesture, and it filled him with…hope. He had lost his voice, and had no desire to go looking for it at the moment. Instead, he blinked twice, squeezing the last tears from his eyes, and raised them to meet Athrun’s.

Athrun gazed deeply into puffy pools of purple, and could not help but notice the sparkle of hope within them. ‘He’s so…beautiful…’ thought Athrun, as he leaned in and kissed his friend. Hopefully, his lips were conveying all the adoration and caring Athrun felt for Kira at this moment. The kiss seemed to last forever, yet it was still far too short. When they finally parted, Athrun had to rest his head against the wall to stop it from spinning. He glanced at Kira, and saw the boy gently running his finger along his lips. He understood why; Athrun’s lips were still tingling as well.

‘We’ve known each other almost our entire lives,’ thought Athrun, closing his eyes for a moment, ‘and yet this is the first … well, second time we’ve kissed. Why did I wait?’ He reopened his eyes, feeling as though he had to make up for lost time.

Slowly, he was beginning to realize what Kira had been through in the last couple of days, and an unrelenting desire to help was consuming him.

“So,” began Athrun, unsure of how to proceed, “you decided to tell your parents? Why didn’t you tell me first?”

Kira hesitated, not particularly wanting to talk about this subject at the moment. However, he felt he owed Athrun an explanation, or something. He was not quite sure. “Well, yes and no,” answered Kira quietly, “I told them, but it wasn’t really my decision. They sorta forced it out of me, I guess.”

Athrun was confused, but continued to listen attentively.

“You would have to have been there to understand what I mean,” continued Kira. In spite of his earlier hesitations, Kira now felt like telling Athrun everything. It was as if an emotional valve was opened, and he wanted to let everything go. “They wouldn’t say a word to me all night,” explained Kira, resting his head in his hands, which were supported by his knees. “Well, that’s not true… my dad stopped to give me heck once…” he continued bitterly.

Athrun noticed Kira was tensing up; due to which emotions, he could not tell. He decided to once again wrap his arm around the brunette, and pulled him into sort of a half-hug. “Finally,” continued Kira, “when they decided to talk to me, they insisted it be about my relationships. I got backed into a corner, and it just sorta came out…” They sat in silence for a moment. No explanation was required for how Kira’s father reacted, Athrun’s imagination could take care of that. A silent tear rolled down Kira’s cheek.

Athrun wanted to say so many things at that moment: they’re old fashioned, they’re ignorant and don’t know anything, that this was their loss, and so much more. He just couldn’t, though. He understood that they were still his parents, and no words could heal the pain of their rejection. Athrun had become accustomed to his parents rejecting him, and he knew how much it hurt.

“I envy your courage,” said Athrun, finally breaking the long silence. “Truth be told, nobody knows I’m…this way,” struggled Athrun, “not only did you come out to your parents, but then you chanced kissing me…”

“Athrun…” interrupted Kira, but the other boy continued anyways.

“If it was left up to me, we may have been waiting much longer. The truth is, I’ve been afraid. Afraid of how the world would react; afraid of how my family would react.” Kira was well aware that, in spite of how poorly his parents had taken the news, Athrun’s family would take it far worse.

“I’ve been thinking about telling them lately, though,” continued Athrun, “I suppose now I’m going to have to…”

Kira watched his friend, who was now staring straight forward, gazing into space. It was impossible to tell whether or not he was speaking to Kira, or thinking out loud. Clearly, Athrun was troubled by the prospect of coming out, and Kira felt he could help. As if his presence alone would make all the difference.

“Whenever…whenever you do…decide…to tell them…” struggled Kira, “I’d…I’ll go with you.” Athrun toyed with the thought for a moment. He realized that Kira’s offer was both very generous, and very…risky.

“No,” he decided finally, “no, I think I should do this alone.”

“Athrun, I’m telling you this is the hardest thing you will ever do. Let me help…” responded Kira, reasserting himself more confidently, hoping to change Athrun’s mind.

“No, you did this alone, so will I,” he said with a tone of finality. However, Kira would not accept this.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” argured Kira, “what does it matter how I did it.” Athrun still refused him. “Athrun, I’m asking you to let me help you…please?” Hopefully, Athrun would see the logic behind Kira’s argument.

The blue-haired boy thought for another moment, before reluctantly agreeing. “Okay,” he said finally, defeated.

“I’m serious, whenever you’re ready, tell me, and I’ll come,” promised Kira. “The truth is, I was wishing you were there beside me when I had to face my father…” Athrun made a noise, affirming his agreement. He could not help but feel a sharp pang of guilt with Kira’s last remark.

TBC…

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A/N: Well, there it is! Please, leave me feedback on this chapter. I’m quite proud of a few parts in it. Unfortunately, I can’t promise any more chapters until the end of March. I have a few nasty weeks ahead of me (so I hope you enjoyed this update!). I’m having a bit of writer’s block with “Captured”, but hopefully that will pass by the time I’m ready to start writing again. Besides, this seems like the most popular of my stories.