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Dragon Ball Z › Yaoi - Male/Male
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Category:
Dragon Ball Z › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
7
Views:
6,000
Reviews:
36
Recommended:
2
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own nor make any profit at all off of Dragonball, DragonballZ, or its characters by writing this horribleness.
Tearing Down the Flood Gates
Chapter-specific warnings: Vegeta in a good mood for once. Physical venting. Violence. Swearing. Angst. Kissing.
Chapter 6: Tearing Down the Flood Gates
Years later...
********
The attack drove him head-on and right through a wooded area, causing him to crash into and partially demolish part of a mountain. He stood up woozily, then squinted through the growing gloom of night. He could barely see his surroundings now, despite being able to pick out his opponent by tracking his energy alone.
Sighing, he looked around reluctantly.
“Hey, Vegeta, I think we gotta call it a day”, Goku announced, stepping away from the rubble.
The prince was suddenly right on top of him, looking feral as he bared his teeth. Goku barely avoided him, using Vegeta’s own speed against him to knee him in the side of his face--the fact that the prince was easily manipulated into plowing through the same devastated mountain-side as his subject signaled the fight was pretty much over.
After the rocks had settled, a low groan sounded and Vegeta rose unsteadily from the impact-site, persistently trying to fix his jaw that felt a little out of place after Goku’s evasive action. With a firm twist of his hands and a soft click of slightly dislocated bone sliding back into place, he sighed in relief, spitting blood onto the forest floor.
“Had enough?”, Vegeta asked absently after a shake of his head, noting the throbbing and aching in his own muscles that signaled that for himself as well.
Goku grinned as Vegeta winced, rubbing a sore shoulder, “Speak for yourself.”
“Hn”, Vegeta replied, the dark hiding his smile.
The dying sun broke once more through a grove of trees, giving the two a last chance to survey their battle-field--series of craters, large scars criss-crossing the earth, trees that had been uprooted scattered like tooth-picks here and there. Goku looked around, then looked uncomfortably at his sparring partner.
“Oi…we’re pretty destructive when we fight, huh?”
Vegeta paused to take in his surroundings as well, then replied, nonchalantly, “Are you willing to allow the fate of a few leaves impede your training?”
“Heh…it’s not just a few leaves, Vegeta.”
“Look”, Vegeta said, rolling his eyes, “I assure you, had they a voice, the plant-life of this rock would willingly consent to their sacrifice if it meant allowing their savior to stay in shape.”
Goku shot back an awkward grin, “I guess…”
Silence, then a heavy sigh from his prince, “Of course…well…we can pick out a more uninhabitable place--void of your precious flowers--if it’ll ease your mind.”
“Thanks.”
He looked over his shoulder, noting how close Goku’s voice was and plucking the senzu bean offered to him.
“Whatever”, Vegeta answered, popping the bean into his mouth.
The senzu taken, he watched, preoccupied, as the torn tissue of a rather nasty gash that ran up his leg from ankle to knee connected it’s ragged edges as though some invisible hand were stitching it. Once done, he ran a gloved finger down where only blood remained on the skin. He never really watched the process itself before, mildly fascinated. And the healing tanks had always been too slow to see the progress on others using it.
“Vegeta?”
The prince’s eyes were still trained on his bloodied but completely intact leg, searching for other miraculous repairs. He merely raised a brow slightly in response as he sat down on a rock.
“It’s kinda hard to believe it’s been so long since we first met, huh?”
“…I suppose”, Vegeta responded distractedly, bending and stretching various joints.
Goku nodded, looking down at him nervously but continued in a calm manner, “So…so today was a pretty good day, don’t you think?”
“Kicking your ass up and down the landscape does tend to put a smile on my face, yes.”
A weak laugh, then silence only to be broken once more, “…hey, Vegeta?”
“What?”
After no response, Vegeta finally looked up in mild annoyance and paused at seeing the strange look on the younger Saiyajin’s face.
“…should I be sitting down for this?”, Vegeta mused, “You obviously have something you need to let out.”
“Well…it’s up to you…though, I mean, you’re already sitting. But yeah, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”
His prince stared up at him, then shot him a dead-pan expression after a stretch of silence and said in his most toneless voice, “Kakarrot, I can’t handle the suspense, it’s killing me.”
Goku smiled slightly at the harmless jest, then his face became somber, “I just wanted to…well, I never got the chance to say…I’m sorry, Vegeta.”
A tense feeling could be felt not only through his ki but through simple body language. Vegeta cocked a brow again.
“Sorry for what?”
Goku looked down, as if unable to meet his elder’s eyes, “For what happened…”
“You tend to do a lot of things that offend me. That annoying laugh. Not bowing down in my presence. Breathing. Was there something specific you’d had in mind--”
“…on Nameksei…”, Goku cut in quietly, looking at him with remorse.
For a moment neither spoke. Vegeta appeared confused at first, then Goku could see the subtle changes in his face, becoming that flat-out blank. Expressionless. Even when Goku looked away, he could still feel the prince’s eyes heavy on him.
“Why would…what made you bring…that…up?”
Goku let out a breath he’d been holding back, hoping he would be able to handle the subject now that it was out, “It’s been on my mind…I guess I’ve had a lot of time to think lately.”
Vegeta sat back on his rock, reserved and quiet, which was making Goku nervous since those two words were rarely even in the prince’s vocabulary, much less his behavior, “And you’ve been thinking about…that.”
“I feel bad.”
“Don’t be an idiot”, Vegeta replied curtly, “You weren’t the one that actually…it wasn’t you that...you know what I mean.”
“I know”, Goku said, his voice slightly rushed as though he had been arguing this in his head for some time now, “I know, but it was still my body that was used to hurt you.”
Vegeta stood up abruptly, hating that his face was starting to burn, “It’s a long gone and dead matter. Why bring it up now?”
Goku smiled faintly, “It’s hard to get you when you’re in a good mood.”
Vegeta’s back was turned to him and it appeared he was standing more rigid than usual, “So then. You’re sorry. Anything else?”
The short answers made Goku hesitate but his resolve was stronger than the uncomfortable subject, “Well…no, that’s not all.”
“Alright then”, Vegeta shot at him, whipping around angrily to face him, “What other fun topics can we discuss--the destruction of our species and our home? My years slaving under Freeza--?”
“No, Vegeta--“
“Oh, no, wait, wait”, Vegeta continued at an almost manic pace, “What about those two times I died? That’s something you can bring up at one of your social gatherings--killed in humiliation by Freeza and then that USELESS suicide!”
He was becoming angrier, but not in his usual unhinged display--it was a quiet anger, like a slow burn, and it was unclear which show was worse. In any case, it almost made Goku regret starting this conversation.
“This is something we need to talk about”, Goku replied in a quiet but firm voice.
“No! It’s not!”, Vegeta snapped, “YOU weren’t even involved--aside from allowing Ginyu to steal your body--so it’s not ANY of your CONCERN!.”
“Then it’s something I need to talk about. No one else knows. You’re the only one and I just feel I need to apologize. And you’re right, I shouldn’t have let him steal it in the first place.”
Aggravated, Vegeta let his shoulders droop, rubbing at his temples, “I am assuming you did not simply hand yourself over to him in a gift-box.”
Goku shook his head, “No, I didn’t know what was going on until it was too late. I had no idea--”
“Then WHY ARE WE STILL DWELLING ON THIS?!”, Vegeta burst out.
Goku stared at him, determined, “Do you forgive me?”
The prince could almost laugh at the ridiculousness, “Th-there’s NOTHING to FORGIVE!!!”
He felt a soft touch on his shoulder, giving his all to stop from ripping it away. He glared at the ground as Goku faced him, “My body was used to do something terrible to you. It just haunts me that this happened.”
His elder gave him a heavy, tired sigh, “Kakarrot...if my thoughts were to return to all the ‘terrible’ things done to me, I’d probably go mad. That incident and many others are...were...just a part of that life, something that just happened...and definitely not the worst.”
Goku stared at him in undisguised sorrow, “That’s terrible...”
“T’ch”, Vegeta mocked, keeping a stoic face, “If it makes you feel better, it was the LAST time it happened...and probably the least unpleasant of them all--I’d much rather it be anyone else’s body than his.”
He began walking away, desperately wishing for an end to this conversation, but unfortunately it wasn’t over.
“...that’s kind of a messed up thing to say.”
Vegeta rolled his eyes, “Ah, yes, I’ve forgotten what a prude you are. Consider it a compliment--”
“No, I mean that you don’t seem bothered that it actually happened. You’re just glad it wasn’t Ginyu’s actual body doing it. That’s just so...messed up.”
His prince shot him a dead smile, “If you haven’t noticed already, I am a just a little ‘messed up’, Our upbringing differed just a little--you with your friends and your family and I...well....”
He trailed off, not needing to say anymore and also catching the thoughtful, solemn stare his subject gave him. Flash of an image in his head--Goku looking at him in the same way but through Ginyu’s face as shame and disgust ruled him. He clenched his eyes tight, shutting the memory away in the darkness of his mind.
“Are we finished here?”, Vegeta asked wearily, “Or are there any other wounds you’d like to rub salt in?”
He tensed as Goku approached, “That wasn’t why I brought it up. I’m sorry.”
Vegeta felt the rude response stick in his throat as Goku closed the distance between them. He looked up, caught off-guard and freezing as Goku, hesitantly at first, brushed the hard line of his jaw with the backs of his fingers. The effect was dizzying despite the softness of the touch. He found himself devoid of words.
“I guess...I kinda want to redeem myself”, Goku said quietly, eyes burning into his intensely.
Uncertainty paralyzed him. His heart beat faster but he couldn’t tell if it was from the after-effects of the suddenly subdued anger or from something else.
“I’d never do anything to hurt you”, Goku continued, pausing after a slight smile, “Unless we’re training. But I hate that your first time with me had to happen like that.”
The sun had set. Growing shadows hid them from the rest of the world.
“I just wanted to show you...”
The only part of the prince moving was his eyes as he watched another hand rise up, smoothing gently over his temple and resting lightly on the back of his head.
“...what our first time should have been like.”
Warm lips touched his own, chaste and light, as the space between them ceased to be. A mouth melted against his--moist, hot, tasting him shyly.
Vegeta momentarily lost himself in the strange sensation, then stiffened as strong arms pulled him closer and the shock wore off. He brought his hands up unsteadily, then convulsively pushed away.
Goku didn’t seem surprised, as though expecting this reaction.
Vegeta’s lips felt strange, awakened somehow. Gingerly, he touched a gloved hand to his mouth, almost expecting to feel some kind of electricity causing the undoubtedly delicious tingling. The Earth Saiyajin stood where he had been pushed, smiling patiently.
For a while, words were unavailable and finally all Vegeta could manage was, “...why?”
Goku frowned, appearing thrown off, “‘Why?’...I can’t think of any reason why not.”
The numbness had not left him yet and he stared haplessly, “I...I don’t understand.”
“I know”, Goku agreed, “I didn’t either. To be honest, after all this time, I don’t care that it really doesn’t make any sense.”
Vegeta shook his head, anger surfacing to at least replace the confusion, “It doesn’t. Why would you--”
//--want anything to do with me??//
“--even fall prey to such unfounded, irrational feelings”, Vegeta ranted, ignoring what he was really wondering, “For all you know, this could just be a side-effect from...from...hell, I don’t know--from fusing or--or from hitting your head too many times! And you’re acting on them and you don’t know why?!”
His irritation grew as all Goku did was shrug, “I know my feelings, Vegeta. I’ve never doubted them.”
“...and you want me.”
Goku nodded, “Yes. Nothing’s gonna change my mind. And I know you feel the same way.”
Vegeta felt the heat in his face grow, annoyed that he was blushing and thankful for the cover of dark, “What!? Why would you th-think that--”
He tensed as Goku approached him, the taller Saiyajin noting his elder’s wary stance and slowing his movement as though the prince were a cornered animal--not too far from reality.
“Are you denying it, then?”
Vegeta opened his mouth to wholly agree when he stopped, whatever lies had formed stuck in his throat as those kind, brown eyes stared into his soul. And that damned kiss the bastard stole was still having a devastating effect on his concentration. The flashes of sweaty, hot skin on top of him from his memories were not helping either. He glared at him silently, his jaw clenched before growling in exasperation and shooting into the air.
“Where’re you going?”, he heard Goku call out.
He whipped around to face him, then quickly gathered himself, as Goku was floating only inches from him now, “Somewhere sane! Away from you and this ridiculous notion that’s somehow infected your mind!”
“Ridiculous, huh? Then why did you pretend it was me instead of Ginyu back on Nameksei?”
A sickening leap of his stomach caused the Saiyajin royal to flinch, slowly meeting his subject’s gaze.
“...how did you...what did you say?”
“Pretty sure you heard me. When we were fused against Buu, our memories mixed. I saw everything from your side that day. I know you tried to think of me while it happened. Am I right? That’s when it all started.”
Breathing became a little difficult as the unearthed truth weighed heavily upon them like humidity.
“I...y-you’re insane, Kakarrot.”
“So that’s your answer? Then you’re a coward, Vegeta.”
Vegeta eyes hardened, trained on Goku’s solemn face, “...what did you call me--”
“You’re running away from your own feelings”, Goku said before his glare softened as he stared down his prince, “Look, I understand. It was terrible that it happened to you--”
“How DARE you”, Vegeta spat angrily, “FUCK you and your damned pity!”
“Then admit it”, Goku urged, “Own up to it and stop running. I know it’s hard but you can get over it...we both can.”
Something seemed to snap in Vegeta and his anger seethed beneath an eerily calm surface, “You don’t understand ANTHYTHING!”
“You’re right. I don’t. It was a horrible, humiliating experience--”
“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HUMILIATION IS!!!”, Vegeta screamed mournfully, rage adding its raw edge to the words.
Goku’s sorrowful face only seemed to madden him further, “Please, Vegeta--”
“NO!”, Vegeta’s energy rose like a wild-fire, “ENOUGH! If you won’t shut your FUCKing mouth then I’ll GLADLY do it for you!!”
Without waiting for an answer, a roar ripped out of him and he launched himself at Goku.
Vegeta smashed into him, sending them both crashing into the ground. Recovering quickly from the unexpected attack, Goku shot up and away from the raging form snarling below.
“I know you’re angry and I get it! But you can’t let what happened rule you--”
He was barely able to move out of the way as a gloved fist grazed his cheek, Vegeta cutting him off, “If you weren’t so fucking smitten, you would have seen the ONLY reason I pretended Ginyu was you was because the reality that it was him was so disgusting I could have choked on my own vomit unless I thought of something else!”
The prince answered with a frustrated growl as Goku caught his wrists to stop him from attacking. Bringing his face close to him and stopping him from attacking, the idiot’s stupid brown eyes were earnest and filled with that god forsaken piteous stare.
“I know that. But those feelings are still there. It’s why you feel you need to surpass me.”
Vegeta broke away convulsively, smoldering at him, “It’s not a need, Kakarrot. It’s an inevitability. And what the hell are you babbling about now?!”
Goku sighed, warily watching him, “Since...since then, you’ve been trying to show me you’re strong--as if you need to make up for...for letting Ginyu...well--”
Vegeta rolled his eyes, “I think what you’re trying to say is ‘for letting Ginyu fuck me’. I’m not that damned sensitive.”
Even still, he felt the customary nausea hit him when his thoughts headed in that direction, shutting his eyes and mentally batting it away. Goku only remained quiet, staring at him sadly.
“I am your prince. You had NO right surpassing me. I’ll catch up, don’t worry”, Vegeta said quietly, a smirk twisting his lips, “And once I do, I’ll finally be able to put you in your place, low-level.”
He charged again but froze as Goku disappeared with a grim frown, reappearing behind him. Vegeta felt jealous anger at the use of a technique that was still beyond his abilities.
“No, Vegeta. I know you feel the same way. It was there, clear as day when we fused.”
“T’ch”, his prince replied, “So while we were fighting Buu you were strolling around in my head? What, were you bored?”
Goku brushed aside the obvious attempt to change the blaring subject, “My point is you don’t need to feel you have to prove that you’re stronger--”
“I AM stonger”, Vegeta yelled with a spike of ki.
“I know--”
Ki exploded, blinding Goku momentarily with a flash of blue light as Vegeta ascended, golden spikes rippling from the intensity of his energy, “No, you don’t! You have no idea but today is when you find out. Today, you will BOW before me even if I have to break every bone in your body!”
A blast shot straight at Goku, easily dodged, but providing enough of a distraction as a boot smashed him in the face, the force sending him earth-ward.
“Vegeta--!!”
As though summoned, the prince appeared in front of him in a display of impossible speed, fist releasing to bury itself into the Earth Saiyajin’s gut. He darted away, Vegeta only a few breaths behind him.
“ENOUGH talk, Kakarrot. Now fight!”
Instant transmission brought Goku behind Vegeta, trapping him in his arms as he attempted to restrain him, “You don’t have to do this--”
The anguish alone in the scream would have been enough to free him but Vegeta broke the hold around him with an elbow to Goku’s ribs, “YES, I DO!!!”
Goku frantically dodged the merciless blows delivered between words as the prince stated his case.
“ALL my life--my ENTIRE LIFE--I’ve been stepped on, defiled, HUMILIATED by COUNTLESS people!! You’ve even been witness to it--”
Blood burst from the side of Goku’s mouth as gloved knuckles slammed into his cheek.
“--I--I’ve lost track of how many there have been”, Vegeta said frantically, his attacking becoming more and more uncontrolled, “H-how many times--DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO LIVE WITH THAT KIND OF KNOWLEDGE?!?!”
Together they drilled through a thin mesa formation, demolishing it and turning it into rubble. Vegeta was relentless, rage blinding. Goku kept his defenses up, staying on level with him.
“And you...you just HAD to dig it up”, Vegeta hissed, grabbing onto the ripped shreds of Goku’s gi.
Goku blocked a knee, shoving the prince away, “And I don’t regret it--this is something we need to resolve!”
“You couldn’t just walk away, could you?”, Vegeta growled, circling his target warily.
Goku watched his movements carefully, “I don’t want to. I KNOW you feel something for me, Vegeta. You can’t deny it. I SAW it!”
A leg swung at his face, the prince pulling all stops to release the acrobatic attacks that sometimes made Goku’s bones ache just watching him. He disappeared, but Goku detected his energy rising behind him.
“And another thing, Kakarrot. I’ll thank you NOT to rummage in my head”, Vegeta said as he swung his leg back for another strike.
It was caught, Goku blocking and holding his knee still in both hands, the impact sending a crack echoing through the night. He paused, then confused Vegeta with a small smile.
“So...so you admit it, then.”
The words were just as devastating as though it were an attack, Vegeta losing his composure for a moment and staring up at him with a lost expression, then a bitter glare returned as he shoved away from him.
“Fine...FINE!”
He resumed his attacks, merciless as ever, landing a few hits as Goku went back on defense, “Are you happy, Kakarrot? You’re right. I do want you. I have for a while. I admit it, since you refuse to leave well enough alone!”
It was a sort of freedom he felt as the truth finally left him. His moves were getting accurate as the adrenaline heightened his senses, Goku grunting as he felt a rib crack, “Th-then why are you--”
He suddenly saw a flash of the old Vegeta; desperate, anger like a bottomless void that ruled him--pride the only thing that seemed to drive him, that and vengeance. And the anger would be his downfall, as it always had been, Vegeta’s energy wavering at a high peak but starting an inevitable decreasing plateau. Goku was shocked as the moon broke free of clouds to see tears as well as sweat dripping off of his prince’s burning face.
“The fact that you know what’s happened is unacceptable”, Vegeta panted, pausing briefly in his onslaught, “And if you think this is something I will now allow to fall to the wayside again, you’re a BIGGER idiot than I could ever imagine!”
---
TBC
***************
A/N: Thanks for the reviews--they help a lot when the tangles of writer's block threaten me into pushing this story aside like some of my old stories (like back in the Yaoi Hotel days, that old, if anyone remembers that).
B-chan: I think this is as deep as I allow Goku to get, mostly because I like the child-like, innocent reasoning that tends to be infuriatingly wise, especially to people like Vegeta. Nice wallpaper btw. Love that priceless, frazzled look on poor Vegeta's face XD
Fen-crya: =^_^= very, very humbled by your review. As with you, i also do not know if there's a way to message people on this thing, even after searching a few times, so i couldn't answer until this chapter was done but i'm glad to have inspired some kind yaoi goodness in you, especially if it involves Vegeta, and i look forward to reading what you come up with ^^ I'll put some contact info on my writer home page thingy btw.
Vee: Always glad to convert another to the dark, squicky side. Glad to have you aboard lol.
This chapter took a while, sorry about that--work, annoying cold/flu episodes, and life in general, y'know. We're almost to the end. Will Goku get through to the stubborn prince? And leave them both in one piece? We'll see ^^
Chapter 6: Tearing Down the Flood Gates
Years later...
********
The attack drove him head-on and right through a wooded area, causing him to crash into and partially demolish part of a mountain. He stood up woozily, then squinted through the growing gloom of night. He could barely see his surroundings now, despite being able to pick out his opponent by tracking his energy alone.
Sighing, he looked around reluctantly.
“Hey, Vegeta, I think we gotta call it a day”, Goku announced, stepping away from the rubble.
The prince was suddenly right on top of him, looking feral as he bared his teeth. Goku barely avoided him, using Vegeta’s own speed against him to knee him in the side of his face--the fact that the prince was easily manipulated into plowing through the same devastated mountain-side as his subject signaled the fight was pretty much over.
After the rocks had settled, a low groan sounded and Vegeta rose unsteadily from the impact-site, persistently trying to fix his jaw that felt a little out of place after Goku’s evasive action. With a firm twist of his hands and a soft click of slightly dislocated bone sliding back into place, he sighed in relief, spitting blood onto the forest floor.
“Had enough?”, Vegeta asked absently after a shake of his head, noting the throbbing and aching in his own muscles that signaled that for himself as well.
Goku grinned as Vegeta winced, rubbing a sore shoulder, “Speak for yourself.”
“Hn”, Vegeta replied, the dark hiding his smile.
The dying sun broke once more through a grove of trees, giving the two a last chance to survey their battle-field--series of craters, large scars criss-crossing the earth, trees that had been uprooted scattered like tooth-picks here and there. Goku looked around, then looked uncomfortably at his sparring partner.
“Oi…we’re pretty destructive when we fight, huh?”
Vegeta paused to take in his surroundings as well, then replied, nonchalantly, “Are you willing to allow the fate of a few leaves impede your training?”
“Heh…it’s not just a few leaves, Vegeta.”
“Look”, Vegeta said, rolling his eyes, “I assure you, had they a voice, the plant-life of this rock would willingly consent to their sacrifice if it meant allowing their savior to stay in shape.”
Goku shot back an awkward grin, “I guess…”
Silence, then a heavy sigh from his prince, “Of course…well…we can pick out a more uninhabitable place--void of your precious flowers--if it’ll ease your mind.”
“Thanks.”
He looked over his shoulder, noting how close Goku’s voice was and plucking the senzu bean offered to him.
“Whatever”, Vegeta answered, popping the bean into his mouth.
The senzu taken, he watched, preoccupied, as the torn tissue of a rather nasty gash that ran up his leg from ankle to knee connected it’s ragged edges as though some invisible hand were stitching it. Once done, he ran a gloved finger down where only blood remained on the skin. He never really watched the process itself before, mildly fascinated. And the healing tanks had always been too slow to see the progress on others using it.
“Vegeta?”
The prince’s eyes were still trained on his bloodied but completely intact leg, searching for other miraculous repairs. He merely raised a brow slightly in response as he sat down on a rock.
“It’s kinda hard to believe it’s been so long since we first met, huh?”
“…I suppose”, Vegeta responded distractedly, bending and stretching various joints.
Goku nodded, looking down at him nervously but continued in a calm manner, “So…so today was a pretty good day, don’t you think?”
“Kicking your ass up and down the landscape does tend to put a smile on my face, yes.”
A weak laugh, then silence only to be broken once more, “…hey, Vegeta?”
“What?”
After no response, Vegeta finally looked up in mild annoyance and paused at seeing the strange look on the younger Saiyajin’s face.
“…should I be sitting down for this?”, Vegeta mused, “You obviously have something you need to let out.”
“Well…it’s up to you…though, I mean, you’re already sitting. But yeah, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you.”
His prince stared up at him, then shot him a dead-pan expression after a stretch of silence and said in his most toneless voice, “Kakarrot, I can’t handle the suspense, it’s killing me.”
Goku smiled slightly at the harmless jest, then his face became somber, “I just wanted to…well, I never got the chance to say…I’m sorry, Vegeta.”
A tense feeling could be felt not only through his ki but through simple body language. Vegeta cocked a brow again.
“Sorry for what?”
Goku looked down, as if unable to meet his elder’s eyes, “For what happened…”
“You tend to do a lot of things that offend me. That annoying laugh. Not bowing down in my presence. Breathing. Was there something specific you’d had in mind--”
“…on Nameksei…”, Goku cut in quietly, looking at him with remorse.
For a moment neither spoke. Vegeta appeared confused at first, then Goku could see the subtle changes in his face, becoming that flat-out blank. Expressionless. Even when Goku looked away, he could still feel the prince’s eyes heavy on him.
“Why would…what made you bring…that…up?”
Goku let out a breath he’d been holding back, hoping he would be able to handle the subject now that it was out, “It’s been on my mind…I guess I’ve had a lot of time to think lately.”
Vegeta sat back on his rock, reserved and quiet, which was making Goku nervous since those two words were rarely even in the prince’s vocabulary, much less his behavior, “And you’ve been thinking about…that.”
“I feel bad.”
“Don’t be an idiot”, Vegeta replied curtly, “You weren’t the one that actually…it wasn’t you that...you know what I mean.”
“I know”, Goku said, his voice slightly rushed as though he had been arguing this in his head for some time now, “I know, but it was still my body that was used to hurt you.”
Vegeta stood up abruptly, hating that his face was starting to burn, “It’s a long gone and dead matter. Why bring it up now?”
Goku smiled faintly, “It’s hard to get you when you’re in a good mood.”
Vegeta’s back was turned to him and it appeared he was standing more rigid than usual, “So then. You’re sorry. Anything else?”
The short answers made Goku hesitate but his resolve was stronger than the uncomfortable subject, “Well…no, that’s not all.”
“Alright then”, Vegeta shot at him, whipping around angrily to face him, “What other fun topics can we discuss--the destruction of our species and our home? My years slaving under Freeza--?”
“No, Vegeta--“
“Oh, no, wait, wait”, Vegeta continued at an almost manic pace, “What about those two times I died? That’s something you can bring up at one of your social gatherings--killed in humiliation by Freeza and then that USELESS suicide!”
He was becoming angrier, but not in his usual unhinged display--it was a quiet anger, like a slow burn, and it was unclear which show was worse. In any case, it almost made Goku regret starting this conversation.
“This is something we need to talk about”, Goku replied in a quiet but firm voice.
“No! It’s not!”, Vegeta snapped, “YOU weren’t even involved--aside from allowing Ginyu to steal your body--so it’s not ANY of your CONCERN!.”
“Then it’s something I need to talk about. No one else knows. You’re the only one and I just feel I need to apologize. And you’re right, I shouldn’t have let him steal it in the first place.”
Aggravated, Vegeta let his shoulders droop, rubbing at his temples, “I am assuming you did not simply hand yourself over to him in a gift-box.”
Goku shook his head, “No, I didn’t know what was going on until it was too late. I had no idea--”
“Then WHY ARE WE STILL DWELLING ON THIS?!”, Vegeta burst out.
Goku stared at him, determined, “Do you forgive me?”
The prince could almost laugh at the ridiculousness, “Th-there’s NOTHING to FORGIVE!!!”
He felt a soft touch on his shoulder, giving his all to stop from ripping it away. He glared at the ground as Goku faced him, “My body was used to do something terrible to you. It just haunts me that this happened.”
His elder gave him a heavy, tired sigh, “Kakarrot...if my thoughts were to return to all the ‘terrible’ things done to me, I’d probably go mad. That incident and many others are...were...just a part of that life, something that just happened...and definitely not the worst.”
Goku stared at him in undisguised sorrow, “That’s terrible...”
“T’ch”, Vegeta mocked, keeping a stoic face, “If it makes you feel better, it was the LAST time it happened...and probably the least unpleasant of them all--I’d much rather it be anyone else’s body than his.”
He began walking away, desperately wishing for an end to this conversation, but unfortunately it wasn’t over.
“...that’s kind of a messed up thing to say.”
Vegeta rolled his eyes, “Ah, yes, I’ve forgotten what a prude you are. Consider it a compliment--”
“No, I mean that you don’t seem bothered that it actually happened. You’re just glad it wasn’t Ginyu’s actual body doing it. That’s just so...messed up.”
His prince shot him a dead smile, “If you haven’t noticed already, I am a just a little ‘messed up’, Our upbringing differed just a little--you with your friends and your family and I...well....”
He trailed off, not needing to say anymore and also catching the thoughtful, solemn stare his subject gave him. Flash of an image in his head--Goku looking at him in the same way but through Ginyu’s face as shame and disgust ruled him. He clenched his eyes tight, shutting the memory away in the darkness of his mind.
“Are we finished here?”, Vegeta asked wearily, “Or are there any other wounds you’d like to rub salt in?”
He tensed as Goku approached, “That wasn’t why I brought it up. I’m sorry.”
Vegeta felt the rude response stick in his throat as Goku closed the distance between them. He looked up, caught off-guard and freezing as Goku, hesitantly at first, brushed the hard line of his jaw with the backs of his fingers. The effect was dizzying despite the softness of the touch. He found himself devoid of words.
“I guess...I kinda want to redeem myself”, Goku said quietly, eyes burning into his intensely.
Uncertainty paralyzed him. His heart beat faster but he couldn’t tell if it was from the after-effects of the suddenly subdued anger or from something else.
“I’d never do anything to hurt you”, Goku continued, pausing after a slight smile, “Unless we’re training. But I hate that your first time with me had to happen like that.”
The sun had set. Growing shadows hid them from the rest of the world.
“I just wanted to show you...”
The only part of the prince moving was his eyes as he watched another hand rise up, smoothing gently over his temple and resting lightly on the back of his head.
“...what our first time should have been like.”
Warm lips touched his own, chaste and light, as the space between them ceased to be. A mouth melted against his--moist, hot, tasting him shyly.
Vegeta momentarily lost himself in the strange sensation, then stiffened as strong arms pulled him closer and the shock wore off. He brought his hands up unsteadily, then convulsively pushed away.
Goku didn’t seem surprised, as though expecting this reaction.
Vegeta’s lips felt strange, awakened somehow. Gingerly, he touched a gloved hand to his mouth, almost expecting to feel some kind of electricity causing the undoubtedly delicious tingling. The Earth Saiyajin stood where he had been pushed, smiling patiently.
For a while, words were unavailable and finally all Vegeta could manage was, “...why?”
Goku frowned, appearing thrown off, “‘Why?’...I can’t think of any reason why not.”
The numbness had not left him yet and he stared haplessly, “I...I don’t understand.”
“I know”, Goku agreed, “I didn’t either. To be honest, after all this time, I don’t care that it really doesn’t make any sense.”
Vegeta shook his head, anger surfacing to at least replace the confusion, “It doesn’t. Why would you--”
//--want anything to do with me??//
“--even fall prey to such unfounded, irrational feelings”, Vegeta ranted, ignoring what he was really wondering, “For all you know, this could just be a side-effect from...from...hell, I don’t know--from fusing or--or from hitting your head too many times! And you’re acting on them and you don’t know why?!”
His irritation grew as all Goku did was shrug, “I know my feelings, Vegeta. I’ve never doubted them.”
“...and you want me.”
Goku nodded, “Yes. Nothing’s gonna change my mind. And I know you feel the same way.”
Vegeta felt the heat in his face grow, annoyed that he was blushing and thankful for the cover of dark, “What!? Why would you th-think that--”
He tensed as Goku approached him, the taller Saiyajin noting his elder’s wary stance and slowing his movement as though the prince were a cornered animal--not too far from reality.
“Are you denying it, then?”
Vegeta opened his mouth to wholly agree when he stopped, whatever lies had formed stuck in his throat as those kind, brown eyes stared into his soul. And that damned kiss the bastard stole was still having a devastating effect on his concentration. The flashes of sweaty, hot skin on top of him from his memories were not helping either. He glared at him silently, his jaw clenched before growling in exasperation and shooting into the air.
“Where’re you going?”, he heard Goku call out.
He whipped around to face him, then quickly gathered himself, as Goku was floating only inches from him now, “Somewhere sane! Away from you and this ridiculous notion that’s somehow infected your mind!”
“Ridiculous, huh? Then why did you pretend it was me instead of Ginyu back on Nameksei?”
A sickening leap of his stomach caused the Saiyajin royal to flinch, slowly meeting his subject’s gaze.
“...how did you...what did you say?”
“Pretty sure you heard me. When we were fused against Buu, our memories mixed. I saw everything from your side that day. I know you tried to think of me while it happened. Am I right? That’s when it all started.”
Breathing became a little difficult as the unearthed truth weighed heavily upon them like humidity.
“I...y-you’re insane, Kakarrot.”
“So that’s your answer? Then you’re a coward, Vegeta.”
Vegeta eyes hardened, trained on Goku’s solemn face, “...what did you call me--”
“You’re running away from your own feelings”, Goku said before his glare softened as he stared down his prince, “Look, I understand. It was terrible that it happened to you--”
“How DARE you”, Vegeta spat angrily, “FUCK you and your damned pity!”
“Then admit it”, Goku urged, “Own up to it and stop running. I know it’s hard but you can get over it...we both can.”
Something seemed to snap in Vegeta and his anger seethed beneath an eerily calm surface, “You don’t understand ANTHYTHING!”
“You’re right. I don’t. It was a horrible, humiliating experience--”
“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT HUMILIATION IS!!!”, Vegeta screamed mournfully, rage adding its raw edge to the words.
Goku’s sorrowful face only seemed to madden him further, “Please, Vegeta--”
“NO!”, Vegeta’s energy rose like a wild-fire, “ENOUGH! If you won’t shut your FUCKing mouth then I’ll GLADLY do it for you!!”
Without waiting for an answer, a roar ripped out of him and he launched himself at Goku.
Vegeta smashed into him, sending them both crashing into the ground. Recovering quickly from the unexpected attack, Goku shot up and away from the raging form snarling below.
“I know you’re angry and I get it! But you can’t let what happened rule you--”
He was barely able to move out of the way as a gloved fist grazed his cheek, Vegeta cutting him off, “If you weren’t so fucking smitten, you would have seen the ONLY reason I pretended Ginyu was you was because the reality that it was him was so disgusting I could have choked on my own vomit unless I thought of something else!”
The prince answered with a frustrated growl as Goku caught his wrists to stop him from attacking. Bringing his face close to him and stopping him from attacking, the idiot’s stupid brown eyes were earnest and filled with that god forsaken piteous stare.
“I know that. But those feelings are still there. It’s why you feel you need to surpass me.”
Vegeta broke away convulsively, smoldering at him, “It’s not a need, Kakarrot. It’s an inevitability. And what the hell are you babbling about now?!”
Goku sighed, warily watching him, “Since...since then, you’ve been trying to show me you’re strong--as if you need to make up for...for letting Ginyu...well--”
Vegeta rolled his eyes, “I think what you’re trying to say is ‘for letting Ginyu fuck me’. I’m not that damned sensitive.”
Even still, he felt the customary nausea hit him when his thoughts headed in that direction, shutting his eyes and mentally batting it away. Goku only remained quiet, staring at him sadly.
“I am your prince. You had NO right surpassing me. I’ll catch up, don’t worry”, Vegeta said quietly, a smirk twisting his lips, “And once I do, I’ll finally be able to put you in your place, low-level.”
He charged again but froze as Goku disappeared with a grim frown, reappearing behind him. Vegeta felt jealous anger at the use of a technique that was still beyond his abilities.
“No, Vegeta. I know you feel the same way. It was there, clear as day when we fused.”
“T’ch”, his prince replied, “So while we were fighting Buu you were strolling around in my head? What, were you bored?”
Goku brushed aside the obvious attempt to change the blaring subject, “My point is you don’t need to feel you have to prove that you’re stronger--”
“I AM stonger”, Vegeta yelled with a spike of ki.
“I know--”
Ki exploded, blinding Goku momentarily with a flash of blue light as Vegeta ascended, golden spikes rippling from the intensity of his energy, “No, you don’t! You have no idea but today is when you find out. Today, you will BOW before me even if I have to break every bone in your body!”
A blast shot straight at Goku, easily dodged, but providing enough of a distraction as a boot smashed him in the face, the force sending him earth-ward.
“Vegeta--!!”
As though summoned, the prince appeared in front of him in a display of impossible speed, fist releasing to bury itself into the Earth Saiyajin’s gut. He darted away, Vegeta only a few breaths behind him.
“ENOUGH talk, Kakarrot. Now fight!”
Instant transmission brought Goku behind Vegeta, trapping him in his arms as he attempted to restrain him, “You don’t have to do this--”
The anguish alone in the scream would have been enough to free him but Vegeta broke the hold around him with an elbow to Goku’s ribs, “YES, I DO!!!”
Goku frantically dodged the merciless blows delivered between words as the prince stated his case.
“ALL my life--my ENTIRE LIFE--I’ve been stepped on, defiled, HUMILIATED by COUNTLESS people!! You’ve even been witness to it--”
Blood burst from the side of Goku’s mouth as gloved knuckles slammed into his cheek.
“--I--I’ve lost track of how many there have been”, Vegeta said frantically, his attacking becoming more and more uncontrolled, “H-how many times--DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO LIVE WITH THAT KIND OF KNOWLEDGE?!?!”
Together they drilled through a thin mesa formation, demolishing it and turning it into rubble. Vegeta was relentless, rage blinding. Goku kept his defenses up, staying on level with him.
“And you...you just HAD to dig it up”, Vegeta hissed, grabbing onto the ripped shreds of Goku’s gi.
Goku blocked a knee, shoving the prince away, “And I don’t regret it--this is something we need to resolve!”
“You couldn’t just walk away, could you?”, Vegeta growled, circling his target warily.
Goku watched his movements carefully, “I don’t want to. I KNOW you feel something for me, Vegeta. You can’t deny it. I SAW it!”
A leg swung at his face, the prince pulling all stops to release the acrobatic attacks that sometimes made Goku’s bones ache just watching him. He disappeared, but Goku detected his energy rising behind him.
“And another thing, Kakarrot. I’ll thank you NOT to rummage in my head”, Vegeta said as he swung his leg back for another strike.
It was caught, Goku blocking and holding his knee still in both hands, the impact sending a crack echoing through the night. He paused, then confused Vegeta with a small smile.
“So...so you admit it, then.”
The words were just as devastating as though it were an attack, Vegeta losing his composure for a moment and staring up at him with a lost expression, then a bitter glare returned as he shoved away from him.
“Fine...FINE!”
He resumed his attacks, merciless as ever, landing a few hits as Goku went back on defense, “Are you happy, Kakarrot? You’re right. I do want you. I have for a while. I admit it, since you refuse to leave well enough alone!”
It was a sort of freedom he felt as the truth finally left him. His moves were getting accurate as the adrenaline heightened his senses, Goku grunting as he felt a rib crack, “Th-then why are you--”
He suddenly saw a flash of the old Vegeta; desperate, anger like a bottomless void that ruled him--pride the only thing that seemed to drive him, that and vengeance. And the anger would be his downfall, as it always had been, Vegeta’s energy wavering at a high peak but starting an inevitable decreasing plateau. Goku was shocked as the moon broke free of clouds to see tears as well as sweat dripping off of his prince’s burning face.
“The fact that you know what’s happened is unacceptable”, Vegeta panted, pausing briefly in his onslaught, “And if you think this is something I will now allow to fall to the wayside again, you’re a BIGGER idiot than I could ever imagine!”
---
TBC
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A/N: Thanks for the reviews--they help a lot when the tangles of writer's block threaten me into pushing this story aside like some of my old stories (like back in the Yaoi Hotel days, that old, if anyone remembers that).
B-chan: I think this is as deep as I allow Goku to get, mostly because I like the child-like, innocent reasoning that tends to be infuriatingly wise, especially to people like Vegeta. Nice wallpaper btw. Love that priceless, frazzled look on poor Vegeta's face XD
Fen-crya: =^_^= very, very humbled by your review. As with you, i also do not know if there's a way to message people on this thing, even after searching a few times, so i couldn't answer until this chapter was done but i'm glad to have inspired some kind yaoi goodness in you, especially if it involves Vegeta, and i look forward to reading what you come up with ^^ I'll put some contact info on my writer home page thingy btw.
Vee: Always glad to convert another to the dark, squicky side. Glad to have you aboard lol.
This chapter took a while, sorry about that--work, annoying cold/flu episodes, and life in general, y'know. We're almost to the end. Will Goku get through to the stubborn prince? And leave them both in one piece? We'll see ^^