Cages

Wufei 102
The night after Master Zechs informed me that he would be allowing me to teach Trowa basic reading and grammar, I headed to bed earlier than usual, though not by much. I was hoping to spend Sunday brushing up on my skills in preparation for tutoring Trowa. Not that I doubted my own skills or knowledge, simply that I wanted to be certain all my grammar and spellings were correct to teach Trowa. As English was not my native tongue it was easy for me to fall out of the habit of reading it and I found that I needed to constantly refresh my memory of its details.
Unfortunately, upon arrival at the room I had taken to sleeping in, I found Duo already in my bed, sound asleep. It seemed that, since he had finally gained the strength necessary to climb the stairs, to the terror of Heero and consternation of Zechs, he had managed in his exploring to find the bedrooms and had decided that they were much more welcoming than the medical room downstairs he had previously occupied. And his explorations earlier, including the three trips up and down all three flights of stairs, had clearly tired him out just as much as it had terrified Heero and annoyed Zechs. And so, he had fallen asleep in the nearest and most appealing bed, which had previously been mine. And, with Heero already undressing beside his own bed, I was left in the doorway to wonder where I was to sleep.
“It seems you’ve been kicked out,” Zechs commented quietly, coming up behind me. I softly slipped the door closed and turned to him, blushing slightly. I didn’t want to seem needy.
“It would seem so.”
“Don’t be upset at them. You know Heero worries. Besides, Duo snores. You wouldn’t want to be stuck in the same room as he is.”
“You’re probably right. I suppose turnabout is fair play, though, so I’ll sleep downstairs, if that’s alright.”
“I wouldn’t, if I were you. Duo said that bed made his back ache, and I have to admit it’s probably pretty old,” Zechs admitted. I held in a sigh. Just what I needed. “Why don’t you sleep with me?”
“E-excuse me?” I wondered, surprised.
“My bed is huge, and I can assure you it’s extremely comfortable. Come on,” he said, pulling me toward him room. I was hesitant, but I couldn’t pull away, so I followed meekly. I was nervous about spending the night in Zechs’s bed without the others, but he was still Zechs. This was still the Master who had protected me when I was delirious with drugs, and who had cuddled me when I was lucid enough to realize where I was. He wasn’t acting any different, and he wasn’t being threatening or intimidating like normal masters. So, while I was nervous, I was far from afraid.
And I didn’t need to fear. Other than a few awkward moments as Zechs changed there was nothing overly odd about the night. I decided to sleep in my pants instead of risking waking Duo, for they were almost sleeping bottoms anyway, and I had gone shirtless with Zechs before, so I decided to wear the pants and nothing else. It was a little odd to have so much space in the bed, because I had always slept with Zechs and the other slaves, but it was kind of nice to be able to stretch out. I was hesitant to admit it, but it was nice to be with Zechs alone. I could lay in his arms and still stretch my legs out across the bed. And Zechs wasn’t in the least bit reluctant to take me into his arms, though he didn’t seem demanding or restraining, like other masters. He simply wanted me in his arms, and I could not bring myself to resist.
I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had in a while. I wasn’t sure if it was from sleeping in someone’s arms or merely the fact that the bed was large enough for me to stretch all my limbs in all directions and not touch the edge, but I felt well rested and charged. Which was good, because it was the day that Zechs intended to tell the others about the Collar assignments, and I was the only one who had seen them, so I would probably have to help Zechs settle some wounded prides.
Of course, I didn’t doubt Zechs’s choices. The selections I had wondered about he had quickly explained to me, and I had been amazed at his observations. From then on I hadn’t questioned him, both because I knew I could trust his decisions and because I knew it was his decision and not mine. Strangely enough, though, he often asked my opinion on his ideas, as though he thought I could be of assistance. It was strange, but satisfying.
The others, on the other hand, might not be so trusting. I was especially worried about Duo, because one could never tell what would set him off, but anything that made him feel insecure or insufficient had a tendency to do it. And, since he had less Collar assignments than any of the others, I worried that he would take offence.
But there wasn’t any use in projecting what would happen or who would get upset, so instead I opened my eyes, stretched, and got up. Zechs sometimes woke earlier than I did, and today was one of those days. As I descended the stairs I found that he was already in the kitchen, helping Trowa make breakfast.
“Ah, Wufei. We’re almost done with breakfast, so could you go wake the others? And tell Heero to get the hell out of the gym before he explodes.”
I nodded and padded off, first to retrieve Heero, who came easily and unresistantly, then Quatre, who came unresistantly, then to Duo, who came. By the time I managed to get back downstairs, nearly carrying Duo along with me, the others were already eating, and I had to hold myself back from tossing Duo into his chair. I managed, just barely, and both Duo and I began to eat.
It wasn’t until the end of breakfast, when Zechs asked everyone to clear the dishes and sit back down, that the others realized something was going to happen. Usually once break fast was over we’d all scatter to do our own things. Quatre and Trowa would go outside, Heero would go to the gym, and Duo would plop in front of the TV to vegetate. Of course, some of Duo’s laziness was because of his somewhat substandard health. Though he was close to normal, Duo still tired more easily than before and had less energy. But I doubted this would last more than a week, and I easily projected that he would be back to his irritating self by the coming weekend.
Of course, is was hard to tell that Duo was still below his normal energy level as he fidget nervously at the table, tapping his feet or squirming in his chair. I could help but role my eyes, and I pitied Heero, who was forced to sit next to him. Heero it didn’t seem to bother, Heero, though, but I wasn’t surprised. Heero had shown often lately that he was immune to most of Duo’s behavior, and I often got the feeling that he even found it amusing. Quatre and Trowa, on the other hand, I was pretty sure were on my side from the looks they were giving Duo. I could only hope he didn’t start to crack his knuckles again.
The attention was drawn away from Duo in the next moment though, as Zechs rose at the end of the table. Everyone looked at him, and there were emotions ranging from anxiousness to real fear in their eyes as Zechs prepared to speak.
“Alright, first everyone needs to stop looking at me like they’re about to die,” Zechs teased, an open smile on his face. No one laughed, but I did notice everyone relaxing a bit. “I just want to say that all of you have been doing very well lately and I’m very happy with how things have been going. But, if we want to be ready to enter Collar this year, things are going to have to change. I’ve already looked at the Collar events and decided which ones we’ll be doing and who will be doing what. I want you to know that my judgements do not reflect on my opinion of you. I was only looking at your particular skills. So, without further ado, I’ll read the selections. Heero, you’ll be doing Math and Physics in the knowledge challenges, and riding, swimming, and street fighting in the physical challenges. Duo, you’ll have all three of your previous challenges, Erotica, Exotic Dance, and Specialty Pleasures, along with the beauty competition. Quatre, you’ll be doing cooking, gardening, flower arrangement, and art. Trowa, you have music, interpretive dance, guns, and survival. Wufei, I’m giving you the most because you have the most experience in Collar. You have classic dance, martial arts, fencing, chess, history, poetry, and calligraphy. If anyone has any questions I’ll be willing to take them now,” Zechs finished.
I counted to three, as the stunned others got their bearings, and chaos erupted.
“One at a time!” Zechs shouted as everyone began to talk at once. “Heero, you first.
“Master, I’ve never done street fighting,” Heero stated.
“Yeah, and I’m great at it!” Duo snapped. “I should be fighting!”
“Fighting?” Zechs scoffed. “Sally won’t clear you for running. But since you’re so good at street fighting you can teach Heero how to do it, understand? Trowa, you next,” Master said, cutting Duo of from giving a retort.
“I just don’t understand,” Trowa said quietly, his eyes shadowed with self-doubt. “I don’t know how to play music, but I do know how to cook. Quatre doesn’t know how to cook, but he plays very well. I... I just don’t understand,” Trowa said, keeping his eyes on the table. It was easy to see that he was hurt, probably thinking that Zechs, the master who meant so much to him, hadn’t thought he was good enough to do cooking. Zechs sighed before continuing, at a soft and gentle tone meant to consol Trowa.
“None of this is because you aren’t good enough. You are a very good cook, do you understand? I really do love your cooking. I’m giving Collar cooking to Quatre because it’s a different style of cooking. It’s only half about taste and half about presentation, where here we don’t care about how it looks as long as it tastes good. I just think that Quatre, because of his background, would pick that up more easily than you would.”
“And music?” Trowa questioned, raising his eyes slightly from the table.
“Again, it’s a different style. Quatre’s been trained on the violin and only for a few years, where others at Collar have studied for years. We need something that will stand out more, because they have more experience. So, instead of learning an instrument, you’re going to learn to sing, because I think your voice will be extremely memorable. Alright?” Zechs asked, gaining a relieved nod from Trowa. “Quatre? Do you have anything you want to ask?”
“Why did I get all the girly stuff?” he asked sullenly. “I...”
“You are not yet healthy enough to do one of the sports. You also haven’t had any physical training. I’m not doing this because I think you’re weak, I’m doing it because I know you’re strong enough to compete. If I thought you were weak you wouldn’t have any of these competitions, because they’re going to be rough no matter which one you get.”
“I want to know why I can’t have something better!” Duo snapped, not waiting for Zechs to finish with Quatre. “I’ve trained for survival all my life! I can survive in any city anywhere! Just because I’ve got a couple of bruises doesn’t mean anything!”
“Duo, that’s not...”
“Don’t tell me that’s not the reason you gave me all the froofroo events.”
“Froofroo?” Zechs wondered.
“You know, all the soft events. The ones you don’t have to do anything hard in.”
“I had thought the sexual events would be quite challenging physically, so I was going to suggest that Heero could help you with it in exchange for lessons in street fighting.”
“Well, yeah, that’s stuff’s hard, but not really hard. Not like survival.”
“Duo, have you ever been to Earth?” Zechs asked, causing Duo to pause. I glanced around at the others, but none of them seemed to know what Zechs was leading up to either. Even Trowa seemed confused, which was only odd because he had been chosen for survival, and so it was assumed that he would know more about it.
“Once, for a couple days, with my first master. I was born in space, and it’s not easy to get out of those cities. Why?”
“This is wilderness survival. Very few places in space bother to create any kind of landscape, and I don’t know of any that have forests. You wouldn’t be able to survive in an Earth wilderness, you must see that.”
“Well... yeah. But then how can Trowa?” Duo asked, turning to Trowa. Trowa glanced at Zechs, it seemed to ask permission, and on receiving a nod turned back to Duo, though we were all waiting expectantly for his answer.
“I was born Earthside. In my youth I spent a lot of time with a group of mercenaries. Surviving in the wilderness and foraging for food were a part of life.”
“So... then how did you get here?” Duo wondered.
“Eventually I left the mercenaries and joined up with a traveling circus. They went into space, fell on hard times, and here I am,” Trowa finished, fiddling anxiously with the tablecloth. It was obvious he did not appreciate being the center of attention.
“I’ve spoken to each of you this week,” Zechs said, pulling the attention away from Trowa, “to learn you backgrounds and your strengths. I’ve based all of my decisions from these findings. Are there any more questions? Heero?”
“I have been assigned the riding competition. I have had several years of equestrian training and, with a few more months of training, I should be ready to compete. But... Master, we don’t have a horse,” Heero said, looking as though he really did not want to be speaking. Indeed, from what I knew of Heero he had a very difficult time questioning Master’s decisions.
Zechs, for his part, looked startled, then amused.
“I hadn’t even thought about it. I own several horses of very good bloodlines, and I naturally assumed you’d be riding one of them. I didn’t even think about how we’re going to house the horse here,” he said, then paused to look down at his papers. “I’d like you two take both hours of your riding lesson and work on the barn. Duo has a chore at the same time, so he can help you as well. As soon as the barn is in good shape we’ll bring some of my horses here and you can begin to practice, alright?” Zechs said, smiling kindly. Heero nodded, relieved. “Well, then I think that’s everything. For now at least we’ll be going under the assumption that you’ll all be sticking with your assignments. Baring illness or some other medical condition, I probably won’t change them. So, good luck. You’re all dismissed, feel free to enjoy the rest of your free time. You start your schedules tomorrow.”
We all rose to leave, but I hesitated. Had Zechs already talked to Trowa about the lessons was going to give him? I almost hoped so, because I wasn’t sure Trowa would like being taught by another slave. I managed to catch Zechs’ eye and he got the message and called to Trowa.
“Oh! Trowa, I need to speak to you and Wufei for a moment. It’ll only take a minute,” he assured as Trowa reluctantly left Quatre’s side and returned to the room. “Quatre, you can go on ahead. I’ll make sure Trowa catches up,” Zechs assured, shooing Quatre out of the room. Quatre hesitated visibly, but was not confident enough to argue, so reluctantly stepped out of the room. Zechs gently closed the door behind him.
Trowa, meanwhile, was just as reluctant to stay as Quatre was to leave. Those two had become close lately, and while I only wished the best for them, close relationships could only lead to pain. But it wasn’t my place to judge or meddle, so I kept my thoughts on the relationship to myself.
“Trowa,” Zechs said, turning back. “I’ve called you here to discuss your education.”
This took Trowa by surprise and he was visibly upset, a combination of fear and shame on his face. He glanced at me, suspicious, and I had to wonder if he had wanted Zechs took keep his lack of education a secret.
“Don’t be that way,” Zechs chided, laying a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve asked Wufei to help you and he’s agreed, so don’t be so cold to him.”
“Help me?” Trowa wondered softly, turning to his master.
“Mm-hm. In a two hour slot every morning from nine to eleven Wufei will be tutoring you in reading and writing. You’ll still have to keep up with your other lessons, but I think it’s important for you to learn some basic grammatical skills.”
“Yes, Master,” Trowa replied, but he wasn’t looking at Zechs. His eyes, instead, were fixed on me with a mix of gratitude and curiosity. I felt required to speak, so took a step closer.
“I can assure you that I am well qualified to teach most scholarly studies. I can’t guarantee that it’ll be easy, but I will teach you as much as you wish to learn.”
“Thank you,” Trowa whispered sincerely. I nodded, bowing slightly in respect, and couldn’t help but smile. Being a teacher was one of my dreams, and though this wasn’t how I expected to become one, I was fulfilling my dream none the less.

Zechs 103
There were problems right away, but I expected nothing less. Before I could allow the boys to begin working on the barn I had to have it inspected. Of course, once it was inspected it was found that it had, not only rodents, but termites as well, and so it had to be fumigated. And once it was fumigated I was informed that all the hay and dust would have to be removed, less the horses eat it and die. And so I found that Heero’s riding lessons would have to be pushed back at least two weeks.
Of course, I could have paid to have it completely redone in a few days, but I could not bring the team it would take to my estate because of the risk it posed to my mission. It was risky enough to bring the inspector and the exterminator in, and first they had to undergo a thorough background check, but I could not get permission to bring in a team. So the work would have to be done almost completely by the boys and myself. Of course, a little hard work would be good for them, and I doubted any of them would complain, but I did worry about the time Heero would lose in training. With Collar so little time until the start of Collar a week lost would be extremely costly. I could only hope Heero would be able to make it up.
The next problem came in the form of an irate phone call from Sally. Apparently she had gotten word that I had authorized some tutors and was completely appalled that I had forgotten to schedule a check-up for the boys first. Nor did she cut me any slack because I was right in the middle of redoing the barn and setting up the teachers. But, regardless, I set another day aside so that she could do her exams and gave the boys another day off of practice.
Next I realized that, though I had purchased the boys several pairs of clothes when they arrived, neither Heero, Wufei, nor Duo actually had work-out clothes. Heero had one pair of spandex shorts and a tank-top that he had been wearing every day and washing every night, so they were looking extremely haggard. Duo also had one pair of shorts, but they were the wrong size and dangerously baggy on him. I worried he would catch the shorts in one of the machines and, if not hurt himself, embarrass himself terribly. Wufei had two sets of tradition Chinese clothes, but they were both a bright white, which was difficult to wash if one worked hard enough to sweat. I got a distinct feeling that Wufei must have come from a very proper family, because he spent almost as much cleaning those clothes as he spent working out in them. It was useless, and I hoped buying him some clothes in a darker color would alleviate the problem.
Trowa and Quatre, on the other hand, did not need any new clothes, though I intended to buy them some eventually. All of Trowa’s lessons could be performed in jeans, and most of them would not get him dirty. Quatre’s lessons, on the other hand, would probably all get him dirty, but he would be able to wear an apron for most or all of them. So, though I would eventually buy them clothes, I would be able to wait until things had settled a bit.
So, for the first three days of training, nothing actually got done. One the first day the barn was inspected, and I didn’t have any time from looking it over to call for the teachers. On the second day the barn was fumigated, and I received the previously mentioned delightful phone call from Sally. And, on the third day, Sally was scheduled to come and give each of the boys a physical.
The authorization papers for the tutors showed up on my desk the same day Sally planned to come for the exams. It seemed like a pretty decent series of events, because the barn was still airing out, so hopefully Sally would clear the boys to work on it tonight, and they could begin to work on it tomorrow around their lessons. I could only hope that she wouldn’t find anything bad, because they would only delay us further, and I wasn’t sure we could afford that.
Sally showed up around noon, hauling with her an entire truckload of medical equipment which she set up in the downstairs bedroom.
“I thought this was just a checkup?” I wondered as Sally hauled in what appeared to be a portable x-ray machine.
“You’re boys have never had proper medical attention, you can’t take them to the hospital, and they’re going to be working out at a dangerous pace. Plus, they’re teenage boys. There’s a good chance that even if I don’t find something today I’ll need this stuff sometime in the future. Since you had an extra room anyway I decided just to set up here, so that I can handle anything from a fever to a broken bone. Hopefully this way we won’t have to wait for the hospital to clear out if one of the boys gets hurt or sick.”
“Well... you’re certainly thinking ahead. But how did you get all of this stuff?”
“Hm? Oh, you mean these machines. Yeah... well... I kind of had to say that I was purchasing this for a clinic I was opening.”
“A clinic? But wouldn’t the merchandiser look into that? Don’t you need a license to buy this kind of stuff?”
“Not if it’s for animals.”
“For what!” I couldn’t help but snap. “You’re looking at my boys with veterinary equipment?”
“Look, it’s the same thing, only I don’t need to fill out four thousand forms and wait six months to get these,” Sally said, slamming down a box and turning to me. “If you have a better idea, please tell me now. Otherwise stop standing there gawking me and start bringing in boxes!” she snapped. Ouch. In the future I’d have to remember not to second guess Sally when she was holding a heavy box.
I called the boys and between the seven of us the van was soon empty and the spare room was full to the top with boxes. Sally shooed us out then and started setting up by herself. Quatre offered to go back and help her, but I led him away and probably saved his life. Sally could be insanely meticulous; it was better to let her set things up her own way.
Instead we split up and I went with Trowa and Quatre to make lunch. I was glad to find that, now that the competitions had been announced Trowa had stepped up to teach Quatre the basics of cooking while they waited for the teachers to arrive. I had previously been worried about jealousy between the two, but as I watched them in the kitchen my fears were laid to rest. Trowa doted on Quatre, and Quatre blushed with every attention Trowa paid him. The two tangoed around the kitchen in the age old ritual of courtship. It was refreshing to see it, even though I feared it would be crushed in its infancy by the circumstances. But I didn’t have the heart to destroy the fledgling buds of their love, so I could only do my best to nurture and protect it. Besides, teenage romance was normal and even needed for growth and maturity. So I soon retired to my study to give the two some much needed privacy.
By the time lunch was done Sally had unpacked all the boxes and tossed them back into the van. Without all the packing materials the equipment fit nicely into the small room. Of course, it was impossible to see out of the back of the van because of all the packing material, but that was really Sally’s problem, not mine.
We had lunch together, and when the boys had consumed a nearly impossible amount of food and Sally and I had stuffed ourselves with considerably less, we sat back and relaxed, stomachs full and content.
“Ahh....” Sally sighed. “I’m glad I don’t come here often. I’d get so fat.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it, Ms. Sally,” Quatre commented. “Trowa taught me how to make it this morning. He’s a really great cook.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“Quatre’s being modest,” I decided to put in, seeing that Trowa wanted to say something but was far too shy. I had to wonder if this would become a problem. Trowa was quiet around us, but he had never clammed up like he had since Sally walked in. He hadn’t said more than three words the entire time she was here. I worried briefly that he might do the same thing at Collar, but I would cross that bridge when I came to it. “They’re both good cooks.”
“Hm. Well, anyway, now that the pleasant part is over we’d better get down to business,” Sally said, straightening up in her seat. “I don’t know if Zechs told you or not, but you each need a check-up and a complete physical. I’ll take you one at a time in the new medical room. This may take a while, but once I get a thorough check-up over with you won’t need another one for a month, and then they’ll be quick exams instead of total physical, alright? So I’ll take Duo first, if that’s alright.”
“Why me? I see you enough as it is,” Duo pouted.
“That’s exactly why you’re first. I need to make sure you’re healing properly, and that will probably take a little longer than the others. Everyone else can go about their business, but stay within hearing distance.”
“Will you need me?” I wondered.
“No, probably not.”
“Ah. Well, then I’ll be in my study if you need me.”
With that everyone split up, Sally and Duo going to her examining room, the rest of the boys heading in the direction of the den, and I went across the hall to my study. There was a lot of paperwork to look at dealing with my accounts and investments, as always, but more now that I had spent such large sums on my new mission. It was also a convenient excuse to stay close to the examining room, in case Sally should have any problems.
About an hour and a half later I finally drew myself away from papers to stretch and check in on the boys’ progress. My timing was extremely lucky, because I almost bumped into Heero. He was the last to be examined, and he had just finished. Sally followed him out of the room, carrying with her a clipboard and a small case. I assumed she would be heading out soon, and commented on it.
“Not quite yet,” Sally said, looking over a chart as she walked into the den where the boys, like normal teenagers, were crowded around the TV. “There’s still one more thing we need to do, then I’ll be out of your hair.”
“And what would that be?” I wondered, secretly relieved to have everything go so smoothly.
“It seems, my dear Zechs, that some of your slaves are not up to code on their vaccinations. Now, Heero and Wufei have had everything they need and Quatre has had shots I don’t even recognize. Illium Hydroxide? Good lord Quatre, isn’t that a preservative?”
“I... I-uh-I don’t think so...”
“Well, whatever it is, you’ve certainly had enough shots for one lifetime. Now, that only leaves Trowa and Duo. The rest of you can step outside for a moment,” she said. I nodded to the other three, who slowly departed, leaving the four of us alone. “Duo has had all his shots, but needs boosters on everything, and Trowa is so susceptible to everything that I thought about putting him in quarantine. If he had been on a public plane when you came back I would have to suggest it. But, anyway, I’ve compressed all the shots into one tube, so neither of you will have to be stuck more than once, alright? I’ll take Duo first,” Sally said. While she spoke she pulled a filled syringe out of her case. Duo came forward unhesitatingly, pushing up his sleeves.
“You couldn’t have put it in with all that other crap you gave me? You’re just a sadist, aren’t you?”
“Shut up and give me your arm,” Sally growled teasingly. She had grown fond of Duo in the hospital, even though he had been unconscious most of the time. Go figure.
Duo grumbled some more but obediently stuck out his arm. Sally had been giving injections for years, so she was quick and nearly painless. Duo didn’t even flinch, though that could be attributed to either of them.
“Alright then,” Sally said, sitting back and disposing of the needle. “That only leaves one more and that’s... Trowa? Where’d he go?” she wondered. It was only then that I heard the pounding of feet down the hall, and the realization dawned on me.
Trowa was terrified of needles.
I was out of my chair a second later, giving chase to my fleeing slave. I hadn’t even thought about Trowa’s fear of needles because I hadn’t equated the needles that had been in his body with the medical needles Sally would use. Unfortunately it seemed that his mind couldn’t see a difference between the two, and so he had take the opportunity Duo’s shot gave him and slipped away. He probably hadn’t even thought about where he would run too, just running in blind panic.
But I was older, taller, and in better health. Trowa’s head start allowed him to get into the yard, but I was at his heels by the time he got to the door. He tossed a backwards glance over his shoulder and saw me, giving him an extra boost of adrenaline. He widened the gap between us, but I could see he was winded. Running full tilt, first through a house that size and now through the yard, was not easy, especially for the two of us, because we were bigger than the rest and couldn’t take the turns so easily.
As he crossed the yard, panting and frightened, I noticed Quatre ahead of us, probably heading out to work in the barn as his chore. Despite the noise we were making he had yet to notice us.
Quatre!” I shouted. “Grab Trowa!” I yelled. Quatre turned, stunned, toward us. His eyes widened at the picture we created. It was probably something from his nightmares, the image of his best friend being chased down at a dead run by his master. So I wasn’t overly surprised when he froze up, though I was a bit annoyed. Trowa was a teenager, and though I was certainly healthier than he was, I was also older. He was really making me feel old enough to have my first heart attack.
But it didn’t really matter, because Trowa had used up the last of his adrenaline, and I was quickly gaining on him. In another second I was only inches away from him, and I managed to find a reserve of energy that allowed me to jump at Trowa and tackle him to the ground. He struggled like a wild man, trying to get away from me, but he simply wasn’t big enough to shake me. On the other hand, I wasn’t strong enough to pin and lift his thrashing body at the same time. So we were at an impasse.
I realized, after enduring a minute of Trowa’s thrashing, that my slave was just too frightened to be allowed to calm on his own. At this rate he’d hurt himself before he lost all of his energy, and I couldn’t allow that.
“Trowa,” I growled, leaning in close to his ear. “Trowa, you will stop immediately,” I commanded, my voice harsh and demanding. Trowa froze, not exactly calming, but close enough to what I needed. “Do not move, or you will be punished,” I told him, then rose, putting Trowa over my shoulder. He did not struggle, but I could hear his panting breaths coming much too quickly. But there was nothing I could do about it while we walked, so I simply hurried to the house.

Zechs 104
Everything went well as we entered the house, up to our approach to the spare room, where Sally was filling up another syringe. Unfortunately, she was doing it in the hall, in plain sight, where Trowa could see her.
With a scream of terror, Trowa panicked again and struggled so hard that we both fell to the ground. I managed to keep him from hurting himself in the fall, but once we were on the ground he managed to get free of my hold. His scream attracted the other boys, who, along with Sally, scared him away from the door and toward the other end of the hall, where he ran up the stairs. I managed get back on my feet just a moment after he ran, so was right behind him as he stumbled up the stairs. At the top of the stairs I was able to get beside him, but didn’t dare grab him, as terrified as he was. Instead I herded him into the master bedroom. He went willingly enough, then followed the walls like a blind man until he realized he was trapped. Then he settled down to sob in a corner.
With Trowa trapped, if not subdued, I was able to sit down on the bed and catch my breath, alert in case he were to make another dash for freedom. I knew the part that came next would be just as strenuous as the rest, so I gave myself a minute to recuperate while Sally came up the stairs and cautiously knocked on the door.
“Is he alright?” she asked quietly, still standing in the hall.
“Other than the panicking, he’s fine,” I replied softly, so that Trowa would not hear us over the sounds of his own panting. “But I don’t think you’ll be able to give him the shot without his panicking again.”
“Should I sedate him?”
“And how exactly would you go about doing that? He’s so scared right now that we won’t be able to get near him, even if you could put him out without using a needle, which you can’t because you didn’t bring the proper sedative.”
“Well excuse me! I thought this was going to be a routine checkup. Don’t blame me because that one went manic!” Sally hissed, pointing at Trowa.
“Don’t get upset with him. He’s been through a lot, and a fear of needles is perfectly understandable for him,” I chided. “If you saw a man with a butcher’s knife covered in blood you’d run, wouldn’t you? It’s the same for him.”
“It’s lovely that you understand where he’s coming from, but that doesn’t help our current situation.”
“I’ll just have to grab him. He’s not that strong, I’m sure I can hold him long enough for you to prick him. Do you have the sedative with you, just in case?”
“I do, but it’s an injection also, as you’ve already pointed out, so it won’t be easy using it either.”
“That’s fine. Let’s do this before I get feeling back in my legs,” I quipped, rising as Sally came in and locked the door behind her. Trowa didn’t look up as we did this, but he tensed as we approached. Then, when I was about an arm’s length away, he sprang from his place on the floor and tried to dart toward the door, but I managed to grab him around the middle. He struggled in my hold, but I managed to turn him so that he was facing me and pulled him against me, pinning his arms to his sides. He sobbed against my shoulder, but was tired out by the previous chases and couldn’t get loose.
“Hush,” I soothed, running my hands down his back as Sally prepared his arm again. “It’s just a little needle. I promise, it’ll be in and out in a second,” I tried to sooth, but I doubt Trowa heard me. His harsh sobs escalated to panting shrieks as the needle approached his arm and he stopped breathing as the injection was administered, gasping for breath again as the needle was removed.
“There, see?” Sally quipped, trying to cheer him up. “It’s all over. And such a big fuss, too.”
But Trowa wasn’t listening. He had started sobbing again, and he was still gasping for breath like before. The fact that it was over hadn’t calmed him a bit, and in another second I realized that he wasn’t going to calm any time soon. Casting a glance at Sally I found that she had come to the same realization, and I gently pulled Trowa tight into my embrace once again as she readied the sedative.
“Just one more,” I cooed as he began to struggle again. This time, as the needle approached, he gave a serious effort to getting free of my grasp, but again was unable. Sally administered the sedative quickly, and in another minute Trowa slumped in my arms, asleep.
“Poor thing,” Sally muttered, softly petting Trowa’s hair as he slept against my chest. I was loathe to put him down, because seeing him in such a panicked state had shaken me more than I cared to admit. I sighed and held him close, wondering if I’d ever be able to take the fear out of him. Out of any of them.
There was a knock at the door only a few minutes later, and Duo’s voice come through the hard wood.
“Um.... Master? Can I bring Quatre in? He felt Trowa’s fear suddenly stop and it’s really freaking him out. Is Trowa alright? I know he freaked, but... Anyway, Wufei and Heero have Quat downstairs, so if you don’t want him to do what Trowa just did you’d better show him that T-boy’s okay.”
“Bring Quatre up, Duo,” I ordered, laying Trowa on the bed. I did not want to have another incoherent teen on my hands.
“You’re the boss-man!” Duo quipped, trotting down the stairs loudly.
“You’d never know what that boy had gone through from his attitude,” Sally commented, staring at the closed door.
“I don’t know about that,” I replied, settling Trowa on the bed and covering him. “I think he’s hiding a lot right now because he’s still afraid of me. Give him some time and you’ll probably see that he’s more like the other boys than you’d expect,” I told her, and just had time to finish my comment before Quatre exploded through the door, followed closely by the other three boys.
“Trowa!” he cried.
“Quatre, calm down!” I snapped, grabbing his shoulder. “There’s no need to get upset. Trowa had a bad scare due to the needles, so I had Sally give him a light sedative. I don’t want you waking him up, alright?”
“Can I... Can I touch him?” he wondered. I nodded, knowing that his empathy was somehow stronger when he had physical contact. More slowly this time, Quatre approached the bed, and I was able to see that he had tear-tracks down his face. He knelt delicately by the bed, then reached down carefully and took Trowa’s hand in his own. With a sigh of relief he brought it up to rub against his face, and I could see the tension pour out of him. He cared deeply for Trowa, that much was evident.
“Come now,” I soothed gently after a few moments, “Let’s let Trowa get some sleep,” I said, pulling him gently away from the bed. He had a hard time letting go of Trowa, and he watched the other boy over his shoulder until we were out of the room.
“Are you alright?” I asked as we descended the stairs together.
“Hm?” he wondered, still a bit distracted.
“You had quite a scare earlier. Perhaps you should go to bed as well,” I suggested.
“No, I’m quite alright. I was just worried, that’s all,” he said, then waited a moment before continuing. “Are you mad at me? For not stopping Trowa like you asked.”
“Well, I can’t say I was pleased, but-...”
“Zechs, can I speak to you for a moment,” Sally interrupted. Her bag was in her hand and I assumed she was ready to leave.
“Ah- yes. I’ll walk you out. Quatre, we’ll continue this later,” I said quickly, moving to the doorway beside Sally. I was fairly certain that I was about to get a lecture, but I knew it was better to take it like a man than to put it off and make Sally even angrier. And, true to my expectations, Sally laid into me as soon as we got out the door.
“I am assuming that you will be seeking professional help for these boys,” she began, her tone telling me that she was well aware that I was not and that this was unacceptable.
“You more than anyone should know why I can’t do that. Une would never clear it.”
“Of course she would. She’ll do anything for this mission.”
“And who would I go to, hm? Which counselor do you know who specializes in sex-slaves?”
“There are many well-qualified rape and abuse counselors who would be completely acceptable for this mission. You’re just making excuses, Zechs,” Sally snapped.
“And what good would it do?” I hissed back.
“What?” Sally growled.
“What good, exactly, would it do for any of the boys to talk to someone about problems that neither they nor I could fix? Hm? You know what would help Trowa? Telling him that no one will ever hurt him with a needle again. You know why I can’t tell him that? Because it might not be true! You know what helps a rape victim heal? Making them feel safe! How the hell am I supposed to make them feel safe, Sally? How am I supposed to fix them when I might have to rape them tomorrow? How am I supposed to gain their trust if I have to beat them? How can I expect them to act normal if I can’t offer them anything normal? What do you want me to do?” I yelled. It was only after a moment of silence that I realized how badly I had just gone off on my friend, who really only wanted to help.
“Sally, I’m so-...”
“Do you feel better?” she asked, looking at the car as she fumbled to unlock the door.
“What?”
“Do you feel better? Obviously you’ve been holding that inside for a while now. Do you feel better, getting it all out?”
“I do, but I don’t know if it helped. I still don’t know what to do. But I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that. I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry,” Sally huffed, opening the door and turning to face me. “I should have realized how much those boys mean to you, and I shouldn’t have questioned you. I know why we can’t help them, but it just makes me so angry, seeing someone so young struggling so hard. They don’t deserve this.”
“No, they don’t, and I’m going to see to it that they get out of this, but it’s going to take some time. Until then I just have to do what I can to fulfill the mission and heal them, and hope that it’s enough. But I’m glad you asked me. Having all this on my shoulders, with no one to give an opinion... It’s made me question almost everything I do with these boys. That kind of uncertainty could get someone killed,” I said. We both understood that “someone” would either be myself or one of the boys, but it was too terrible a thought to voice out loud.
“Then I’ll stop by every week and give you an earful,” Sally promised teasingly as she climbed in the van.
“Good lord, woman, I’ll die!” I teased dramatically.
“Yeah, well you’ll die a lot quicker if you don’t move out of the way. I’ll back right over you,” she teased closing the door. I laughed and headed to the house, taking her threat seriously. I had nothing against female drivers, but Sally couldn’t understand the difference between speed bump and pedestrian. I smiled as I watched Sally pull away and, with such good humor in me, I couldn’t bring myself to return to the house just yet. Instead, I laid back on the grass and watched the clouds roll by for almost an hour. If I went back to the house I knew there would be something to worry about, something to push the boys toward or protect them from. It was a constant strain, much like being the parent of five at the same time as starting out five new relationships. The pressure was starting to get to me, so I let myself drift for just a little bit, and felt all that much better for it. I could hardly remember a time since Duo got hurt that I had smiled, and that was far too long to go without any fun. Eventually I returned to the house, my good humor restored, and headed to my study.
Where my good humor immediately disappeared.
I found, to my great consternation and amazement, Quatre, kneeling on the floor, his shirt gone and his eyes blindfolded, with a riding crop between his teeth.
“What the hell?” I wondered in astonishment. I glanced around only to find that none of the others where anywhere near us. Coming to the conclusion that Quatre had mastermind this little escapade by himself, I quietly closed the door and turned to my slave.
The first thing I did was to remove the crop from his mouth, so that he could speak. He opened his mouth readily as he felt my touch on the crop, but he tensed his body, expecting an immediate attack. Instead, I set the crop on my desk, lest I be tempted to brain him with it. Make no mistake, I was far from being angry enough to beat him, but I wasn’t sure how close I was to being annoyed enough to smack him upside the head with the damn thing. As I set the crop aside I noticed that it was old and worn, so it had probably come out of the barn or tool shed. I also noticed it was clean and was grateful that Quatre at least had the foresight to wash it before putting it in his mouth. Once the crop was set aside I turned to Quatre, calmly asking him, “What in the world are you doing?”
Quatre opened his lips immediately, but didn’t speak. Instead, he gave a small huffing sound, more of a squeak than anything. He closed his mouth swallowed, licked his lips, and tried again.
“I-... I’m awaiting punishment, at your leisure,” he replied shakily.
“And what have you done to merit a punishment of this caliber?” I asked him, keeping my voice firm though I wanted to comfort him, for he was obviously afraid.
“I have betrayed you,” he admitted, and I froze. Did he know? Had I been revealed?
“Betrayed me how?” I asked breathlessly, barely breathing as I awaited his answer.
“You-you ordered me to seize Trowa, and I disobeyed. I let my friendship with Trowa overpower my loyalty to you. I deserve to be punished,” he replied, and I let out my breath in a relieved rush. I should have known Quatre would get so upset over trivial things.
And yet, as relieved as I was, I realized that the situation with Quatre was also important. He had, indeed, disobeyed my order, though he had not quite betrayed my trust. But that was not the most serious offense. He had committed a worse offense by choosing to force my punishment instead of allowing me to choose when and where. He had, in truth, been attempting to force me to punish him, and that could not be allowed. First and foremost as their master I needed to have control, and only later could I gain trust and obedience. Quatre had, unwittingly, attempted to take that control away.
“Get up,” I commanded sternly, and Quatre nearly jumped to his feet. Then, without giving myself time to think, I yanked down his pants and bent him over.
It was hardest for me to think of punishing Quatre not only because of his youthful, angelic looks, or because of his submissive, accepting personality, but also because of his frailness and the abuse I had seen him take. Always in the back of my mind was the worry that I would treat him too roughly and he would break. But he was young, mostly healthy, and strong despite his circumstances, as were the others, and I needed to stop thinking of him differently. I doubted that I’d be able to completely change my attitude toward him, but I needed to start somewhere, and the punishment seemed like as good a place as any. So, I did what I would have done had any of the others been in his place.

Quatre 105
Master had seen me naked before.
It was a strange thought that came to mind as Master bent me over and pulled my pants down in one strong, angry motion. It wasn’t the kind of thought likely to occur to someone who is about to be brutally raped as a punishment for a violation of trust. Still, I couldn’t keep my mind from wondering back to the last time Master had seen me nude, when he had first gotten me. I had been so afraid, and in so much terrible pain from the wounds Master Marcel had inflicted. Not only was I considered a useless slave, but I had also suddenly become a hindrance, with no value at all because of my wounds. I had thought Master Zechs would be angry about such a bad prize and would try to get as much out of me as he could before I died. I had assumed he would take me then, in a violent, bloody fit of lust.
But he hadn’t. He had been kind and gentle as I struggled, nearly delusional with pain and paralyzed with fear, to do the simplest tasks. He washed me, comforted me, and even treated my wounds himself. And even though I had not been able to offer anything in return he never grew impatient with me, or degraded me, or asked me for anything I wasn’t willing to give. And even once I healed, once I began to be useful again, he didn’t force himself on me. He seemed to truly care.
Which was why, even as violently as he positioned me, I willingly bent to his will. He had been more than patient with me, and even if he were to hurt me in our coupling, I would not begrudge him my body after everything he had done for me. I was afraid, so much so that I could not withhold a small gasp of fright as he bent me, but despite my fear I would do anything I could to fulfil his desires. I took a deep breath and readied my body to accept him.
I wasn’t ready for the hand that cracked across my backside. I jumped, so startled that I tried to struggle out of Master’s hold, but he was having none of it. He held me still with one hand as he delivered nine more stinging blows with the other. I was panting by the time he was finished with tears streaking down my face. But a spanking was certainly better than being taken dry or being beaten with the crop. It was certainly better than I deserved.
When he finished he had me step out of my pants and let me lay on the small sofa as I collected myself. I laid on my side, my head in my hands as I tried to stop my panting, so I could only hear Master leave the room and return with a towel for me to wipe my face with. I couldn’t look at him as he handed it to me, I was so ashamed with myself for betraying the trust of such an amazing master. I had thought Master would leave once he saw that I was calming, but he merely set at his desk and watched me in silence for several moments.
“Quatre, do you know why you were just punished?” he asked after a bit.
“Because I betrayed you. I chose my friendship with Trowa over my servitude to you and I disobeyed you when you told me to capture him,” I said emotionlessly, knowing that it had been wrong, though I couldn’t seem to get my emotions to match this knowledge. No matter how many times I looked at the scene in my memory, I couldn’t seem to find it in myself to capture Trowa. I knew it was wrong because I knew Master was trying to help, I knew Trowa couldn’t get away, I knew it was my duty to obey Master, and I trusted Master. But no matter what, every time I saw Trowa’s terrified face in my memory all that logic was gone, and I all I could do was stare in fear.
“You were punished now, not because you disobeyed me earlier, but because you usurping my power by forcing me to punish you,” Master said. I stopped dead in shock, not even breathing. Could it be that by trying to atone for my earlier error I had made yet another mistake? How could I be so useless as to even mess up a punishment?
“I’m so sorry, Master,” I whispered brokenly. “It was not my place to decide such things. Please, I’m so sorry...”
“Enough,” Master commanded, but his voice was soft yet strong. “You have already been punished for your error in judgement, and I am certain you will not make the same mistake again. However, you also seem to have another mistake which I cannot ignore. You did disobey me when I commanded you to catch Trowa, and if I had not caught him Trowa might have been seriously hurt. So, as punishment for that you will have two hours of your free time removed every day for the next week, and you will have to do chores during that time. Do you understand?” he asked.
“No,” I whispered softly, “I don’t understand at all. I don’t understand why you’re being so kind to me, after all the bad things I’ve done.”
Instead of answering, Master sighed and rose from his seat. He came over to me and I tensed, expecting another spanking, but he merely sat down beside me and pulled me into his lap as much as he could without hurting me.
“Do you think I should want to hurt you?” he asked softly, but I couldn’t answer. Should he? Probably. Did I want him to? Of course not. Did he need to? Maybe. I couldn’t really say. I was only a slave. I couldn’t think like a master. “I don’t, you know,” he said finally, giving up on my answer. “You’re not my child or my pet. You’re my lover and my subordinate, and as the first I need your strength, and as the second I need your obedience. I know you’re strong, or I never would have chosen you to become one of my own. And you’re beautiful, anyone can see that. But you won’t be of any use to me if you stop obeying orders and begin to think of yourself as the master. I know you were afraid for Trowa and that’s why you didn’t obey me. You didn’t think about what you were doing, so you didn’t purposefully disobey me, and so your punishment fits that. But you weren’t afraid when you decided to come here to make me punish you, and you had plenty of time to think about it. For a worse crime you deserve a worse punishment, little one, and that’s why I spanked you. I don’t want to use pain as a punishment, but I won’t deny how useful it is in teaching a lesson.”
“I am sorry,” I told him again, knowing just how badly I had messed up. “I really didn’t mean to do anything wrong.”
“I know, kitten, but your intent doesn’t matter so much here as what you actually did, and what you actually did was wrong. And, anyway, you’re getting off light, so don’t try to get out of it. One week of two extra hours of chores which you can spend fixing the barn. Now, you’d better get to the kitchen. You have to make dinner tonight without Trowa’s help,” Master told me.
“Thank you,” I whispered as Master began to rise. “You are far too kind to me.”
“I’m sure I’m not,” he responded lightly, though I could sense a hidden seriousness in him, “I’m sure you deserve quite a bit more kindness, but you’ll just have to make due with me for now,” he told me, then left me alone to redress.
As it turned out, I later found that Master’s punishment was not so kind at all. It was extremely light, but I almost would have preferred another spanking instead. I had gotten used to having a lot of free time every day to spend with the others, and suddenly having almost all of it gone for chores, lessons, and now my punishment was very difficult. On top of that it was also very hard to go outside and work while everyone else was sitting inside having fun. I knew it was my own fault, and I knew it was a light punishment, but that still couldn’t keep me from sulking my was out to the barn for two hours every night. And to make matters worse Master told Trowa that he wasn’t allowed to keep me company while I was being punished, saying that it wouldn’t be a punishment if I had help. He was right, of course, but that fact didn’t make me feel better at all.

Trowa 106
I only had problems with one of my events.
I loved survival because it came naturally to me and allowed me to spend time out doors. The wilderness had been my home for many years, so I found that I knew intuitively many of the concepts that were key to survival. The things that I didn’t know I learned from watching survival videos, which were interesting in that they showed many climates and areas that I had never seen. The differences in climate and foliage on one planet intrigued me.
A barely needed to study in the gun section. One of my jobs while with the mercenaries was to clean and repair all of their weapons, and since they were most active in the night I was often nearly blind while doing it. According to Master I would receive a box of weapons every week, which I would have to be able to name, describe, disassemble, and reassemble blindfolded by the end of the week. I had only mastered six weapons so far, but none of the guns so far were new to me. Honestly, I doubted that I would see any completely new weapons.
Even the dance competition, which I was at first hesitant about, was not terrible. Wufei gave me lessons in the basics of dance, and again I used videos to teach me the rest. It wasn’t all that different from the acrobatics I had done in the circus. And the moves were very similar in style to my acrobatics as well. In all honesty, I enjoyed having the chance to stretch myself and work my body again. The feel of the music flowing through me, bending my body as it would, was something I had missed.
The only class that Master seemed to have made an error in was music. I liked music, and the idea of singing wasn’t intolerable to me, but every time I opened my mouth only the tiniest of sounds came out. My music instructor was an old man with a pinched face and a lack of patience. But no matter how much he yelled at me, I could never raise my voice higher than normal speech. And the more he yelled, the harder it was for me to speak at all, and the quieter my voice got.
Perhaps the biggest reason I worried about failing in this event was that since Master had gotten me home, since he had made my purchase honestly, he had never once initiated sexual contact with me. I wondered if, despite what Master had seemed like on our first night, he had actually been disgusted with me. He never seemed offended by any part of me and he never asked me to change anything, so I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, but I was almost certain that there had to be something. I hadn’t been trained as a Collar slave and Master had only given me any events because he was short on time and low on slaves. If I didn’t show my worth this year I was almost certain that he would get a better trained slave by next year and I would return to being a bed slave. But what good is a bed slave who cannot stir his master’s blood? It was a long way off, but the fear of being sold preyed heavily on me, so content was I with my present life. I had tasted the world’s cruelty, and I couldn’t bare to think of having it again.
I tried to talk with Quatre about it, but it was difficult because he was, as Duo put it, “grounded.” We still had some time together, but I was very shy, even around him, so it took me a long time to work up the courage to even speak with him. It was hard for me to initiate or lead a conversation, so most of the time I simply let Quatre lead, because he was very good at it. It took me three days to broach the subject with Quatre, and when I did he was reluctant to speak about it. Eventually he admitted that he had never been with Master Zechs and that he, too, worried about being sold, but I quickly assured him that I doubted he would be. Quatre was extremely beautiful, an eloquent speaker, and a decent Collar slave. He was making great progress in all of his events. Master would have to be crazy to get rid of such a talented slave. And if Master had intended Quatre for Collar even when he initially bought him, then it wasn’t all that odd that he did not sleep with him. Many masters abstained from distracting their slaves from their events with sex, so it wasn’t odd for a Collar slave to be celibate.
But a Master always had some slaves who were not Collar slaves to satisfy their pleasures. I knew Quatre wasn’t sleeping with Master. I doubted Wufei had allowed him to get that close. I knew Master and Duo couldn’t stand each other. And I was well aware that Heero had been trained primarily as a Collar slave. So the optimum choice of a bed partner was me. So why hadn’t Master taken me? Why did he keep Wufei in his bed? Were they having sex? Or did Master merely keep Wufei close to make sure he didn’t try to escape? Could he perhaps be taking Heero? But Heero had a large number of physical events, which intercourse would interfere with. I had only one physical task, so why hadn’t I been called to Master’s bed?
These questions preyed on my mind as the week progressed, and I began to find myself gravitating toward shadows more and more. The need to become invisible began to take hold, and my music lessons became harder and harder. By Friday I could barely make a noise and my teacher got up half way through the lesson and walked out. I remained there the full length of our time, looking out the window and wondering how soon I would be sent away.
That night, Master asked me to meet him in his study after dinner. I nodded hollowly, a great lethargy settling over my body. It was like something had drained all the energy from my body. I was colorless and mute even as Quatre and Duo tried to speak with me during dinner. I felt Master’s eyes on my face more than once, but I wouldn’t look up. I couldn’t stand to see recrimination in those eyes, so I watched my food with a morbid intensity all through dinner. When it was over, I took more time than necessary to wash the dishes, then trudged down the hall as if my shoes were glued to the floor. But eventually I reached my destination anyway.
Master was at his desk working on papers when I entered. He seemed deep in thought, and I stood in the doorway for several minutes before he noticed me. When he did, he smiled softly and put down his pen, dropping everything to pay attention to me. I suddenly felt unworthy.
“Trowa, don’t stand in the doorway. Come in and sit down,” he told me, but there was nothing recriminating in his tone. Still, again I felt I had done the wrong thing, and I could not lift my eyes to him as I closed the door and sat down on the couch across from him.
“You know why you’re here,” Master stated. It wasn’t a question, but I nodded anyway.
“I have not been performing well in my music lessons,” I replied in monotone, not revealing any of the emotions that were warring inside me. I could barely manage to face them myself.
“You haven’t been performing at all,” Master said, but again it was not accusatory, merely stating a fact. “You’re music instructor says you can barely manage to speak above a whisper, and he had advised me to have a physician examine you, but Sally has already assured me that there is nothing wrong with your voice. And there have been certain other time in which you were very loud indeed,” Master said, his tone implying that he was talking about intercourse. “So why is it that you so suddenly cannot speak?”
It was hard to breathe as he looked at me, hard to move as I felt his eyes on me , watching me, waiting for weakness. I slipped off the couch and onto my knees, putting my head against the floor, trying to hide from those eyes nearly as much as I was trying to show my submission.
“I’m sorry, master,” I whispered. “I think you should take me off of the music event. I could do everyone’s chores to make up for it. I could... I co-... I’m sorry,” I finished lamely, my voice deserting me under the power of my fear.
I heard Master move, but I didn’t dare to raise my head. I tensed, afraid of a beating, but my mind was afraid of not getting one. At least if he beat me he would make me try again. My greatest fear was the sound of the door opening, and his footsteps fading into the distance. Then I would know for sure that I was condemned.
Neither happened. I heard Master rise, but he settled next to me in the next moment, turning me to my side, pillowing my head on his lap. I kept my eyes securely closed, still trying to hide, but I couldn’t ignore the feel of Master’s lips on my forehead. I opened by eyes, but there was none of the cold, unfeeling anger I had expected. There was only Master, who had taken me from Hell with the Duke and brought me here, to paradise.
“I don’t know,” I admitted brokenly as Master stroked my hair. “I don’t know why I can’t speak in front of the teacher. I can’t bare his eyes on me. When people look at me, I get hurt. Please, give me a different event.”
“I would, but you’re a victim of your own talent,” Master replied. “Even your tutor admits that you have an amazing voice, if only you would use it more. I’ve never heard him pay a false compliment, Trowa, and if he’s not ready to give up neither am I. We just need to find away around your fear.”
“It’s impossible,” I sighed. We’ve already tried putting up a blind so that no one is looking at me, but it’s no use. I just can’t sing if someone is listening.”
“That would be useless anyway,” Master admitted, “because you’ll be singing live in front of an audience at Collar. No, we need to get you over this fear. Perhaps...” Master trailed, and I could see he was deep in thought. In a moment he shook himself out of it and turned to me, smiling. “You can run along, then. Relax for the weekend and we’ll see what we can do about your problem on Monday,” he said, getting up and helping me to my feet. “Oh, and tell Duo not to stay up to late. He, Wufei, and Heero are going shopping with Sally tomorrow. They’ll need all the energy they can get,” he said, turning back to his papers. I nodded, though he didn’t glance at me, and left. The feeling of impending doom was not completely gone, but it had been pushed further off. Whatever would happen, I had at least gained a two day reprieve.

Trowa 107
I showed up for music class at the same time as usual on Monday. It was right after my schooling with Wufei, which I usually enjoyed, but today I couldn’t seem to focus on memorizing my letters. It didn’t help that Duo had recently been added to the class, since Master had found that he could barely read or write, and became a distraction almost immediately. Wufei usually spent half the class just trying to get Duo to focus, which usually annoyed me, but today I was grateful for because I couldn’t concentrate anyway. My mind was filled with thoughts of how I could make myself speak and the fear that I would soon run out of chances to prove my worth to Master. I hardly did any work the entire class, but Wufei didn’t scold me. I think he knew of my problems, for Master often spoke to him in his office late at night and asked his opinions.
Wufei was older than the rest of us, with a better education and more skills, so it seemed only natural that Master would confide in him. There was no favoritism shown to him other than that, so there were no feelings of jealousy among the rest of us. Actually Wufei became something of a counselor, because the others often went to Wufei with a problem they didn’t feel comfortable going to Master with. Wufei was the one to advise Quatre to ask Master to buy calcium supplements when Quatre revealed that he didn’t like milk. He was also the one to entreat Master to purchase several products necessary to make intercourse possible and pleasurable for both parties. Heero and I, as the only two who had actually had sex with master, worried most about this until we decided to ask Wufei, who immediately relayed the request to Master, who solved the problem by the next day. And there were countless other small tasks that Wufei guided us on that were too small or trivial for Master’s attention.
So, because of the responsibility he held by being Master’s advisor and our guide, Wufei was often privy to knowledge about us or about Master’s plans that he otherwise would not be. Which is why, when Wufei turned to me at the end of our lesson and touched my shoulder, smiling and saying not to worry, that Master had everything in hand, I was more relieved than I had anticipated. Wufei seemed confident and unworried, though there was a strange embarrassment about him and an odd blush on his cheeks. Still, it wasn’t like Wufei to make reassurances lightly, so I was much more relaxed when I departed for music class than I would have been otherwise.
When I arrived for music class I found that a screen had been placed between myself and the piano, so that I could not see my tutor and he could not see me. I was not surprised, for we had attempted this plan before, with minimal results. The mats on the floor were odd, but I assumed that I would be expected to sit for this practice for some reason. I had also been blindfolded, intoxicated, and recorded in attempts to get me to sing, but none of them had been able to give the desired results. I sighed, my heart falling at the idea of another disastrous practice.
Someone came up behind me then and slipped a blindfold over my eyes. I sighed as the hands fastened it securely behind my head.
“We’ve tried both of these methods before,” I stated softly, “and neither worked. I don’t see what help combining them will be,” I protested.
“Oh, I highly doubt you’ve tried this method before,” Master’s amused voice came from behind me. I started, uncertain at this sudden change. I did not want Master present to see my failure, but there was nothing I could do to make him leave. “Don’t get upset,” Master whispered soothingly into my ear. “I’ve talked with your tutor and I just want to try this one last experiment. I won’t be upset if it doesn’t work out, I promise. I know you’re trying your best, but won’t you make this one last attempt for me?” he asked. I nodded somberly. I would do anything Master asked of me. “Excellent,” Master crowed, backing away, “Now take off your clothes.”
“E-excuse me?” I protested in amazement.
“Your clothes. Off. Now. And don’t lose the blindfold,” he commanded, but his voice was still light and amused. Not teasing, for certain, because there was an underlying seriousness that was absent when he teased. I wondered, as I slipped off my shoes and socks, if he was keeping his voice light to reassure me. To keep me from panicking. It was, in all honesty, probably the only thing that was since I couldn’t see his face to know if he was angry. The tone of his voice was all that I had to tell me if I was pleasing him. I quickly slipped out of my pants, then carefully pulled my shirt over my head until I was standing in only my underwear and the blindfold. Then I hesitated, suddenly body-shy.
But Master was never one to put up with such silliness, and in an instant had removed my boxers for me, slipping them down my legs until they pooled at my ankles. I stepped out of the, so as not to get my feet tangled in them and fall, but as I did so Master took me by the shoulders and gently pushed me to the floor.
I laid on my back and spread myself for him, half hard already. I was as excited as I was nervous. I wasn’t sure what had brought this on and I wasn’t sure I was going to enjoy it, but I was fairly certain I was about to get laid and I was grateful for it. I had been sexually active since a young age, and since then I had never had to go a long period of time without sexual release. If I couldn’t touch myself then there was always a master willing to screw me. Since I had come to Master Zechs, however, I had suddenly become acquainted with abstinence, and it didn’t suit me. After having sex so regularly for such a long time it was hard for me to tell my body no. But Master had not given me permission to masturbate, along with the fact that I was roommates with Quatre and that Master had not given any of us permission to lay each other. So, with Master not making any advances, I was stuck with a life of celibacy and frustration.
I welcomed Master’s hands. I splayed my legs wide and bent and moaned for him to touch me. I had hoped he would want to get right to it, but instead he took his time, running his hands up and down my thighs and across my chest, pulling moan after moan from me. In minutes I was hard and dripping with precum, begging to be touched there. But Master ignored my strongest need, tormenting me with his gentle caresses and soft bites. My body had been trained not to come without permission, and with neither physical nor verbal permission I could not reach my climax. It hovered, just out of reach, agonizingly close.
Eventually there was oil brought into the mix, but I was almost too far gone to notice. I sobbed when Master turned me to my stomach, opening as I wide as I could to accept him. I would do anything to gain release, anything to stop the tortuous pleasure. When Master finally entered me, I could not help myself. I moaned so loud that it was almost more of a scream. I could feel more than hear Master’s amused chuckle, and the movement sent waves of pleasure to my already overstimulated groin. I sobbed and moaned again.
Which is when I heard the sound.
At first, I couldn’t place it. It was almost a ringing sound, but it wasn’t a bell. It sounded again, then four more times in rapid succession, and I realized with startling clarity what it was. Someone was playing the piano.
I only had a moment for this realization, though, as Master thrust into me and I moaned deep and low again.
“Try it again,” came a familiar voice. It was my teacher. “Again, and louder,” he demanded.
I stilled, completely in shock. Was I dreaming? The voice of my teacher saying the words I had heard so many times seemed real, but so did my Master’s cock shoved up my ass, bringing me steadily closer to orgasmic bliss. But it didn’t seem that both could possibly be happening together. I had heard stories on TV of people showing up naked to a class at school. Could this be the same type of dream? Was it the stress that was causing this hallucination?
“Trowa” Master whispered, leaning close to my ear, “Do as he says, or you’ll never climax,” he threatened, and it suddenly didn’t matter if this Master was real or fake. The pleasure was real, and so was the torment of being so close to the edge of climax. I let out a strangled moan of agony and tried to tune it with the note that was being played.
“Good,” my teacher replied. “Now here,” he said, playing a lower note.
I moaned as Master bit my neck in encouragement.
“Again!” teacher barked, striking the key several times.
I moaned, this time hitting the key.
“Lower this time,” teacher said, satisfied with that one. “Stretch your voice,” he demanded.
“Ah-! Nng!” I gasped as Master accidentally hit that spot inside of me that made colors burst behind my eyes. I was so close I could almost weep, but teacher was having no pity on me.
“Again! You need a strong voice to compete! You won’t get anywhere if it breaks!” he yelled, striking the key viciously.
“Ooh!” I moaned and held it for as long as I could before breaking it off with a sob. I was shaking with exertion and I collapsed onto the mat. I was gasping for breath and writhing with pain from all the pleasure I was receiving. My senses were in overload and I couldn’t even concentrate enough to beg for release.
“That’s enough for today, I think,” Master said, his strong, sure voice breaking through my haze. He flipped me to my stomach and took hold of my shaft, then jerked me as he thrust into me. My climax was instant and I screamed, shooting white, hot cum all over the both of us. It was so powerful that I blacked out.
When I came to Master was gone, but I could feel his warm seed inside me, so I knew he hadn’t been gone long. As my mind cleared I could hear the mumble of voices in the room, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I realized when Master returned that he must have been bidding farewell to my teacher. I blushed at the thought, at what my teacher had just heard.
“Your teacher was very impressed,” Master said as he knelt and began to gently clean me off with a white towel that seemed to magically appear. “He thinks that you’ll do well in Collar if we can just get your volume up. You have an amazing voice,” he told me. I might have blushed, but it was hard to tell after all the exertion I had just gone through.
“But... I can only sing like that when... when we’re together,” I protested. “How will I...”
“We’re going to train that out of you,” Master said, sitting beside me and pulling me into his lap. The robe, which he must have donned after finishing with me, covered his softened member, but fell open at the top, so that I could press my cheek against his chest. “You’ve trained yourself to be quiet to protect yourself, and because noise was always given negative reinforcement. No amount of negative reinforcement will train you to be loud, because every pain you receive tells your body to be quieter. Do you understand? That’s why you’re so loud during pleasure; it has the opposite effect. We need to provoke the pleasure to noise idea until positive reinforcement is enough to trigger it. At least, that’s what I’m assuming. It seemed logical, given your circumstances, and it’s been proven correct so far,” he admitted, smiling gently and reassuringly at me.
“So... the positive reinforcement, what kind of reward will you use?” I wondered. Master smiled and, uncharacteristically, blushed. I smiled. It was kind of... cute.
“Ah. Well. Um.... Unfortunately, the only kind of positive reinforcement your body seems to respond to is sexual. You don’t make noise while you’re eating or doing anything else fun, so we’ll have to use sexual encouragement,” he said.
“If I made noise while I was eating, sometimes they’d take the food away. And if I had a toy, they’d certainly take it away if they found it,” I told him, feeling the melancholy of those memories wash over me. “So the only pleasure that was safe was from sex, and I didn’t get much pleasure out of that at first. When I did start to like it, they always seemed pleased when I moaned for them, so it was just natural that I did it more. I was already found, so why bother to try to hide?”
“I see,” Master said, his eyes sad and concerned as he rubbed little circles on my back. “You don’t have to be afraid of that here, you know. I would never let anything like that happen.”
“I know. It’s just...”
“I understand. Habits formed for survival are the hardest to break, and you lived like that for a long time. It will take time for you to overcome that fear,” he said, and only then did I relax. I had worried that Master would push me to change right away. I knew I was safe here, but somehow I couldn’t bring myself to stop the habits I had become accustomed to. I tried, and slowly I was breaking them, but the progress was so slow, and masters tended to want immediate improvement in their slaves. But Master wasn’t like that. Master was kind and patient and gentle. He was master of our bodies, but he cared too for our minds, our souls, and, most of all, for our hearts.
“Ah...” Master started again, then paused. He seemed uncharacteristically nervous and unbalanced. “I wanted to ask... as I probably should have before... does this... bother you?” he said, floundering.
“I don’t understand,” I admitted quietly. I wasn’t sure what he was asking, and didn’t want to answer the question because of that.
“What I mean is does it bother you to do this with me in front of your teacher? It-... it must be awkward, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but there doesn’t seem to be much of an alternative. And, admittedly, I must begin to train myself to... do this with you in public for Collar. Do you understand?”
“It does bother me to have sex in front of my teacher,” I admitted, “but not so much that it would cause any difficulties. I’m sure I will get used to it soon. But...” I said, then hesitated. Did I have any right to ask? I wondered. Would he take my question as insubordination? But certainly I couldn’t say nothing now that I had begun. Master was smart, he would sure notice.
“What is it?” Master prompted, as I had expected.
“It’s just that... if you cared if it bothered me or not, why would you wait until now to ask me?”
“Ah,” he said, smiling again. I was relieved that he was not angry. “That would seem logical, wouldn’t it? But as your master I don’t need to ask your permission, and as your coach I knew this would be the best way to get you out of your shell,” he told me. I would have left it there, because it was fully in his power as a master to do as he had said. However, in a few moments his smile faded and he began to speak again. “In all honesty,” he admitted, “I had a hard time bringing myself to do this. I was almost certain that this was the optimum path to choose, but I had a hard time convincing myself that it was the right path. I was afraid that if I talked to you about it I wouldn’t have the courage to do it later, so I didn’t give myself any time to stall. If it’s too difficult for you to continue with these lessons I’ll give you another competition, but otherwise I really think you have a good shot at this one.”
“I am satisfied, Master,” I told him, sighing and curling against him like a big cat. “After all you have given me, I would not begrudge you something as important as this. And I must admit that this method is... effective,” I told him. He beamed at me, his good humor fully returned.
“Then we’ll have another lesson tomorrow!” he announced gleefully. I chuckled. Perhaps I had created a monster.

Zechs 108
It seemed that almost as soon as Trowa’s problems started to be resolved Duo’s happened. Perhaps the difference was that Trowa was doing his best to overcome his problems, and Duo was encouraging his. Trowa was trying to please me, where Duo was trying to spite me.
It was hard to understand Duo at times. He was calmer and semi-rational with the other slaves. I wouldn’t call him stable, but he did seem like a normally unstable teenager. By watching his interactions with the others from the shadows I could see that he had a bright personality, and that he liked to play and tease. His antics even brought a smile to my face sometimes, though it was bitter with the knowledge that the moment I stepped into the room he would become a spitting wolverine.
Oh, he could behave himself sometimes, but there were others where he went simply psychotic and Heero would have to physically remove him from the room, though more often he would run out of the room himself. He would randomly have mood swings or be set off by an innocent comment I made. The other boys would likewise set him off once in a while, but it was much more often that I did it, and he never, to my knowledge, went off if I wasn’t present. It was worse if I tried to get close to him, and he generally panicked if I touched him. I did notice that, for all his teasing, he didn’t like to be surprised or startled. He usually covered it well, and he never asked the others to stop, but they all got the message fairly quickly from his first terrified gasp. He didn’t like shows of affection, either, which struck me as odd because of how friendly he was. He would accept hugs from Quatre, but he tensed up, and I could tell from Quatre’s face that Duo was feeling some bad emotions. Quatre learned to keep his distance fairly quickly. The others weren’t very tactile, so they never tried. I was well aware of his response if I were to try it, so I kept my distance.
Still, I couldn’t bring myself to blame Duo. He had, after all, be tortured and tormented by his masters and fellow slaves for years. So the distrust, especially of me, I could understand and, to some extent, forgive. What actually caused problems was his blatant disregard of my authority. Whenever I asked him to do something he suddenly became a two-year-old, and would demand that I “make him.” I was hesitant at first to use force with him, and even more so to use punishment, but repeated demands that I “make him” eventually garnered the expected result.
Unfortunately, Duo had been hardened by years of torture at the hands of merciless masters. The slaps and spankings I gave out couldn’t come close, and I was neither willing nor able to do more. I say willing because I was partially frightened that in using the same methods his former masters did I would only enhance his sense that we were all the same. And I say able because Sally would have my head if I damaged any of the body she worked so hard to fix. And so, stalemate.
At first I tried to ignore it, hoping that he would eventually settle and grow out of it. That didn’t last long, though, because I couldn’t very well let him shirk his chores while strictly enforcing them with the other boys. There was also a risk of jealousy if I treated Duo differently. I knew my boys were all good at heart, but if they constantly saw Duo being allowed to break the rules they were forced to follow I would understand their being affronted. So after three days of yelling, threatening, and commanding Duo to do the dishes, mow the lawn, and help Heero with the barn, I was finally ready to give up.
It was Heero who convinced me not to. By watching Duo I soon found that I was not the only one curious about him, but I soon caught the stares that Heero cast him. It was only around Duo that I saw Heero relax, and it seemed that only Duo could get Heero to engage in activities of play. And Heero, for his part, was smitten, intrigued, and entertained by Duo. It was puppy love, perhaps, but I didn’t doubt the depth of Heero’s feelings for the long-haired slave. Separating Duo from the rest of the boys would be detrimental to Heero’s social growth. Heero was already shy and antisocial, I worried that taking Duo away would cause him to retreat into himself. Not only that, but he would certainly feel as though he had failed in his responsibility for Duo if I had to remove Duo from the house.
And then, of course, there arose the question of what I would do with Duo were I to pull him away from the rest of the slaves. I would, most certainly, not send him back to Collar to be abused and killed, but I worried about sending him to one of my ranches. I had trustworthy personnel who could look after and even babysit him, but I wasn’t sure how they’d do if he tried to run away. I wasn’t completely sure they could keep him from escaping, and it was imperative that I maintain respect at Collar. Losing a slave would destroy that respect and set the mission back possibly by years.
So after about a week of struggling to get him to do even the most trivial tasks, I knew I needed to get another opinion. And it seemed only logical to bring in the only other person keeping a close eye on Duo. And so I set up a meeting with Heero to discuss Duo’s recent behavior.
I chose a time when I knew Duo would be occupied because Duo tended to get nervous and paranoid when he believed he was being excluded. I didn’t want to see how bad he would get if he knew we were talking about him. So I waited until after dinner, when Quatre and Trowa would wash the dishes, Wufei would meditate, and Duo would usually watch wrestling with Heero. I managed to distract him from Heero’s absence by adding a bag of chocolate covered raisins. Duo loved them as long as I got them out of the bag before he saw them so he didn’t know there were raisins in them, and it made me feeling better about him eating chocolate if there was something healthy in them.
But, regardless, with the introduction of this new element Duo barely noticed Heero’s absence. Heero, however, took this fact with a detached humor and didn’t seem at all hurt. We watched him for a moment to be sure that he was entranced with his show and his candy, then moved down the hall to my office. Heero seemed relaxed, but overly so, as if things were moving too quickly for him to keep up with. We entered my office and Heero sat heavily in the chair across from my desk while I sat in my customary place behind the desk. We probably looked like a principal and a naughty student.
“You know why I wanted to meet with you. Duo has no respect for me, and nothing I’ve done has managed to gain it. I’ve taken away all the amenities and playthings that this house has to offer, but Duo’s been used to nothing, not even basic human necessities like food and the freedom to move around, so nothing I do can come close. It’s the same with physical punishments. There’s nothing that I can do that hasn’t already been done a hundred times over. Without respect or a way to control him I simply can’t keep Duo around. If we don’t come up with a way to maintain some type of control over him... I won’t be able to keep him,” I admitted.
“No amount of force will cause Duo to collapse. The more you push him, the more he pushes back,” Heero said, echoing my fears.
“Then it’s useless,” I sighed, rubbing my forehead.
“No,” Heero stated. “You merely cannot push him to maintain control.”
“Then how do you propose to do it?”
“You have to use someone else.”
“What? That’s ridiculous!”
“It’s not,” he replied, leaning toward me, his face more serious than I’d seen it before. “Listen. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Duo’s stubborn and he sometimes does things that are completely irrational, like trying to microwave six bags of popcorn at the same time,” Heero said, referring to a rather disastrous escapade in the kitchen. We were still finding popcorn kernels on top of the cupboards. I smiled fondly at the incident, but it was a passing sentiment, and the seriousness of the mood quickly stole it from me. Heero continued. “But one thing Duo has been consistent in protecting.”
“The TV,” I said, nodding solemnly. “But I’ve already tried taking that away from him.”
“Not the TV,” Heero growled, rolling his eyes. “Me.”
“Ah! Of course! He does seem to be rather fond of you.”
“It’s probably not just me. He did attempt to protect Quatre from getting hurt by convincing him not to tell you about his pills.”
“I remember that. But Quatre certainly would have been in more trouble if I had found out before he told me.”
“Yes, but Duo didn’t know that. He was certain that you would hurt him if you found out.”
“That’s true, but I think Duo has proven himself more attached to you. He did attack me when he thought I was going to hurt you.”
“Yes. He also tried to protect me when the guards attacked us. Which is why I should be his substitute.”
“Substitute?”
“Hn. The punishments won’t have any effect on him, so...”
“Oh no! Hell no! I’m not going to punish you for his behavior!”
“It’s the only way. Duo has been conditioned not to care about what happens to his body as long as he can maintain his pride. That doesn’t apply when it comes to someone else, though, so the only way to actually get through to him is to use someone else as a bridge.”
“And what if it doesn’t work, hm? You’ll become his scapegoat, his whipping boy. He’s not above you in importance, Heero, he’s your equal. I won’t give him special treatment.”
“Why not?” Heero wondered, glaring at me. “You’ve given special treatment to Trowa.”
His words startled and stopped me. I hadn’t been aware that the others were aware of my sessions with Trowa. I suppose I should have anticipated it, as I had given Trowa a session every day that week, but I had thought we were being discrete.
“How... How did you find out?”
“I heard the piano playing while I study for my academic competitions. When I heard strangled moans coming from the room I assumed that he was injured or hurt and I went to find out. I thought his teacher might be abusing him, because I often heard the teacher chastising him. That’s when I found the two of you. I didn’t want to interrupt, so I just closed the door and went back to my room.”
“I see,” I said, processing that information. “Do the others...?”
“No. As far as I know I’m the only one who knows.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“What should I have said? It is not my place to question you.”
“Well... yes... I suppose, but you could have said something. I would have explained.”
“Explained what?”
“That I was only helping Trowa with his voice lessons.”
“Oh,” Heero replied, his turn to be surprised. “Then you desire none of us?”
“Excuse me?”
“I assumed, since you were with Trowa so often, that you had developed a taste for him, but if this is not the case, and you haven’t taken any other slave, do you have no desire for us?”
“No, that’s not it,” I defended, blushing. “It’s just... It’s been so busy lately, and so stressful, that I suppose I just didn’t feel the need to take anyone. It’s nothing against you. But that’s not what we’re discussing at all. We’re discussing you’re insane idea of punishing you in the place of Duo.”
“It’s not insane, it’s logical and necessary.”
“It’s not necessary.”
“It’s optimal, then.”
“What do you get out of this?” I wondered. “Why would you risk so much?”
Heero hesitated for a long time with this one, deep in thought. For a minute I thought he might back down, but I should have known better.
“Do I... Do I really need to get something out of this?” He wondered, turning his eyes to stare at the opposite wall. “Aren’t we... I mean, it feels like... it feels like... like we’re a family. I want to... I want to defend my family, that’s all,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
How could I argue? I was not made of stone. If this was the closest thing Heero and the others could get to a family, what right did I have to deny them the power to protect it, to keep it united?
“How will we do this?” I asked. Heero smiled at me in relief, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
“You will have to punish me as severely as you would him.”
“But, Heero, if he were physically well enough I’d probably whip him for some of the things he’s done. Especially with his tendency for cursing.”
“I know.”
“That’s ridiculous. You didn’t do anything wrong, so actually hurting you is idiotic. We’ll simply fake it,” I responded.
“We can’t. It’s too big of a risk. If Duo finds that we’ve cheated against him he’ll never trust us again, and there will be more no way to control him. It has to be real.”
“No.”
“Master...”
“No, Heero, I won’t. I’m not going to hurt you for Duo’s choices, and I’m certainly not going to punish you as though you did something. No.”
“Then there’s no point in doing it at all!” Heero snapped, finally losing his cool. “I’d rather not do this at all than lose Duo’s trust and any chance of actually helping him!”
“Then we won’t do it at all! That’s what I wanted anyway!”
“I don’t want to lose him!” Heero shouted, jumping to his feet.
“I don’t want to lose you!” I yelled, and we both froze.
“I won’t-... I... I trust you. You won’t hurt me. I mean, you will, but... I can take it,” he said, moving closer to me. I looked away from him, knowing those eyes would be the demise of my argument, but he fell to his knees in front of me, and I couldn’t help but look. He rubbed his head against my knee, looking pleadingly up at me, and I knew I couldn’t hold out.
“Alright,” I sighed, bringing my head down to rest against his. “But remember, I’m doing this under severe duress, and if I don’t see some severe improvement I’m pulling the plug. I’m not playing around with this, Heero.”
“I know,” He replied softly. “I’m sorry for asking this.”
“Don’t be. You’re only trying to protect your friend. I can’t blame you for that, but I don’t have to like it.”

Heero 109
We didn’t have to wait long to put our plan into motion. Duo, for some reason, particularly disliked working in the barn, but he didn’t have a logical reason to be excused from the chore, so he wasn’t. It wasn’t more than four days later that Duo and Master got into another of their screaming fights, and I decided that it was time to implement my plan.
“And what the fuck are you going to do about it, huh?” Duo screamed down the hall.
“I’m going to kick your ass the entire way around the house if you keep shirking your god damned chores! And watch your language!” Master screamed back, advancing on Duo, who backpedaled into the hall.
“Well fuck you!”
“Watch your god fucking damned language!”
“You’re a good role model!”
“When you’re my age you can swear as much as you like, while you live here you’ll watch your mouth!” Master hissed.
“Sorry, but I don’t think I’ll ever be that old!”
“This is your last damn chance! Now I’m telling you, go pull down the boards on the left wall of barn or I’m going to punish you severely!”
“Ooh! What are you going to do? Are you going to ground me from the TV again? Oh no! I’ll die! Anything but that!” Duo mocked with a sneer. Master was pissed, glaring fiercely, and he advanced on Duo until the both of them were down the hall and at the back door. He closed the space between them until they were nose to nose.
“If you were strong enough to take it, I’d whip you until you screamed,” he growled. It was the first time in that conversation that I actually saw Duo look frightened, but, as usual, it was quickly replaced with anger. Duo covered his fright with anger, putting a dark glare on his face.
“Fuck you,” he growled, then fled out the back door. Master gave a strangled growl and made to follow, but I grabbed his arm.
“Master, I think it’s time.”
“Ah...” he started, surprised. “I... Are you sure?” he asked. I nodded.
“We can’t continue like this. This behavior wouldn’t be acceptable even if Duo weren’t a slave,” I told him. “You can’t allow this level of disrespect to happen. If Duo’s behavior got out to the other masters... you’d lose all standing in the Collar circles,” I stated. Master looked pensive, deep lines of stress showing in his face. He brought his hands up to rub his eyes, as though he had a headache, then finally sighed and dropped his hand.
“Alright. Let’s go.”
Duo was in the yard, his back to the barn and facing the house. I... I could barely stand to look at him. He was tense, nearly shaking with anger and fear, and yet he still managed to stand his ground. It gave me a new respect for him, and I couldn’t stand to look at his, knowing the pain we were about to cause him. I wasn’t worried about my own pain. I trusted Master, and his reluctance only reassured me. I didn’t relish facing the whip again, but I had already faced it in the gauntlet, and this couldn’t possibly be any worse than that.
Instead of staying to witness the ensuing fight, I hurried to the barn and retrieved Master’s whip. By the time I came Back, Duo was backed up against the house, spitting and snarling like a wolverine. Master was in front of him looking composed by comparison, fully recovered from his earlier outburst and back in control of himself. I was glad. I had been slightly worried that Master might be angry enough to lose control of the whip. I didn’t want any more scars.
“...Then just fucking do it!” Duo yelled, looking toward me. “One of your pets brought you your weapon and I’m about as helpless as a person can get, so go ahead!”
“I’ve told you already, you’re not strong enough for that. I can’t beat you.”
“So...” Duo hesitated, angry but confused. “So what’s with the whip?”
“Heero... Heero has offered to take your place.”
It was Duo’s turn, this time, to freeze in shock. It seemed a trend lately, I mused as I watched the two square off. Master was composing himself, prepared to keep his temper at all costs. Duo, on the other hand, was working himself into a full frenzy.
“There is nothing you can do to change my mind,” Master stated calmly.
“I don’t want to change your mind, you asshole! I want to change your face!” Duo screamed.
“Regardless of you physical condition I will defend myself if you attempt tp attack. I will assure you, though, that any attempt at violence on your part would be futile. I will put you down.”
“Duo,” I interjected, “Please, stop.”
I don’t think I could have shocked Duo more if I had turned green and grown another head. He just stared at me like he couldn’t believe the words that had come from my mouth.
“Heero...” he panted. “I... This is crazy! Don’t you see? This-... This is just sick!” he reasoned, moving closer to me. “Look, the others are gone. If I,” he said, dropping his voice and swinging his eyes toward Master, “...Then you could get away, alright?”
“And where would I go?” I snapped, enraged at his stupidity. “You think that would help me? You think running would make things better?”
“Look at him Heero! He knows how to use a god damned whip!” Duo screamed, beginning to get frantic. “He’ll kill you! He’ll kill you, you fucker, and just to make a point to me!” he screamed, going from panicked to nearly insane.
“He won’t,” I replied calmly, trying not to let him upset me. “He won’t, and you and I both know it. Please, don’t make this any worse for me,” I said. My words had a sobering effect on Duo, his eyes cleared and he moaned, then fell to his knees.
“Please,” he begged in a whisper, then, gaining no response from me, turned to Master. “Please!”
“Duo... there must be consequences for your actions.” Master said.
“These aren’t consequences to me, damn you!”
“Aren’t they?” Master questioned, and all Duo could do was huff.
“Look,” Duo tried again. “Look, I’ve learned my lesson,” he said, moving closer to Master. “I’ll... I’ll behave, I promise. I’ll do anything you want,” he said, barely an inch away from Master, peering up at him with tear-rimmed eyes.
I saw Master beginning to waver, but I knew better. Duo had made similar promises when Master had punished him before. It was never exactly a lie, but Duo had a way with twisting words. Master had on several occasions asked him to clean the barn only to find that he had “wanted” Duo to watch TV. And always with a perfectly rational explanation from Duo.
I knew Master was ready to call this off, and I knew that if he did Duo would think he was only bluffing. Master was reluctant, but with Duo testing his limits like this there was no room to back down. So I pulled my shirt off and placed my hands against the wall.
“Enough of this. It’s time,” I told them. For a moment I wasn’t sure which I was punishing, both Duo and Master looked stricken. Tears spilled from Duo’s eyes and Master looked slightly ill, but Master recovered more quickly. He shook himself, still looking sick, and approached me.
“Stand back, Duo,” Master ordered.
“No!” Duo screamed, jumping up from the ground and throwing himself behind me. His chest was a mere inch from my back, successfully preventing Master from hitting me. “It’s not his fault!”
“Duo, stop it!” I hissed, trying to push him away.
“I won’t! I won’t lose you!”
“Duo, enough!” I snapped, pushing Duo to the ground. “Master won’t injure me. You know that. Now behave yourself.”
Duo stared at me from the ground, looking like he was torn between crying his eyes out and yelling at me. Master took the choice away from him, striking me with the whip. I gave an annoyed grunt. He could have warned me.
Master gave me six hits, all barely hard enough to bruise. It was much lighter than Duo should have received, but I wasn’t sure it was lighter than what he would have received. Master didn’t like using the whip on his slaves at all, so it was likely that he would have administered the same, lighter hits to Duo, at least the first time. By the time it was finished, I was panting, but Duo was sobbing brokenly.
“It’s over,” Master said softly after the last hit. He sounded tense and upset. “Duo, I want you to go to your room.”
“But...” Duo protested, pausing in his crying, though his face was still soaked from previous tears.
“Go to your room, damn you!”
Duo gave a panicked sob and jumped to his feet, running for the house. Master sighed and I heard him wrap up the whip before he approached me. I did not turn and he did not speak. Instead, he came up slowly and placed his fingertips on the first of my new bruises, tracing it to the bottom before moving to the others. When he had traced them all, he stopped and rested his cheek against my hair.
“We’re not doing that again,” Master whispered hoarsely. I nodded. It.. It was too much. I hadn’t thought that it would affect Duo or Master this strongly. I didn’t want to hurt either of them.
“I think he’ll behave now,” I assured.
“I don’t give a damn if he behaves or not,” Master snapped, “You’re not going through this again. I’ll sell his ass first.”
“You don’t mean that,” I said, more of a question than a statement. I didn’t want to believe that Master would sell us. To my relief, Master sighed and shook his head.
“No, I wouldn’t, but I will send him away. There are others who can keep him in line while I train the rest of you.”
“Yes, Master,” I replied, reassured. Master chuckled.
“Great. I didn’t want you more obedient. You’re too obedient as it is.”
“Ah... I’m sorry?” I wondered teasingly. Master only laughed and pulled me away from the wall, picking up my shirt as he lead me toward the house.
“Come on,” Master laughed, “Let’s put something on those bruises, hmm?”
“I would like that very much.”

Duo 110
I don’t know why I pushed Zechs like I did. I mean, I knew it was stupid. I had been beaten, tortured, raped, and drugged for years, and now I was making a big deal about cleaning the house? Even I knew it was idiotic, especially with all the freedoms I was being given.
But there was another part of me, a deeper, darker part, that couldn’t live like that. “What happens,” he said, “when you slip up, like you eventually will, and this guy turns into another one of those asshole masters who beat you? Hm? Are you just going to be careful not to slip up? Will you just make yourself perfect so that you don’t ever make him mad? Then you’ll be just as whipped as the rest of the slaves! You think he’s being nice by giving you all these toys, but really he’s just getting you addicted to nice things so that he can take them away. Instead of being afraid of pain, you’ll be afraid of a lack of pleasure. Know what that makes you? Whipped and insane.” I knew better than to listen. I knew this voice was just screaming my insecurities. But, in the end, I did listen. I pushed Zechs both to prove to myself that I wasn’t scared, that I hadn’t been beaten, and to see just how far I could go before Zechs snapped. I was trying to test my limits, so to say, but the only way to find out where they ended was to cross them and deal with the consequences on the other side. A vicious circle, ne? In order to find my boundaries I would have to exceed them.
I have to give Zechs credit. He found an answer to nearly unsolvable problem. I mean, my life has made it so that there are nearly no punishments that have any kind of affect on me, and yet Zechs found the one that would make me bend. I had to give him credit, even if I did think he was an asshole.
I walked on eggshells for the next few days. I tiptoed around the house, quiet as a mouse, trying to avoid Master and barely speaking to Heero. I was terrified that Zechs would see me do something wrong and punish Heero, and I just couldn’t face Heero hating me. So I didn’t face him at all.
It wasn’t like I hadn’t been through this before. Other masters had punished all of the slaves if I got in trouble. I had been outcast and alone in those houses, constantly watched and tormented. Those were the times I had been most alone, when I had most wanted to give up. At least in this house I had found friends, and even if Heero began to hate me I was sure the others would at least tolerate me. And it wasn’t even that Master was really hurting Heero, because Heero could take the kind of punishment Even with his harsh punishments, Zechs was still very light.
It just... it was different. I was so used to watching out only for myself, and for so long I hadn’t had a single person that I could call a friend, that now I was desperate to keep the few friends that I had. In the same way, I was terrified that Zechs would take them away, or take me away from them. And when I got scared, I got angry. So I lashed out. I tried to hurt him before he could hurt me. But I never meant to get Heero involved.
It was Heero’s involvement that really made me quit. Zechs and I could have gone on bickering forever without ever gaining headway to one side or the other if Heero hadn’t been involved. But I wouldn’t sacrifice Heero, who had always stuck his neck out for me, for some petty fears and even pettier bickering. I mean, doing the dishes and moping the floor was nothing to me. Just... nothing.
It was the barn that was still something. The barn was probably what had spawned the first fit of arguing, which had then spiraled out of control. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t shake this bad feeling every time I went in there. The barn was huge, but I would suddenly feel claustrophobic once inside. It would begin to feel like I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to say anything, though, because I knew I’d either sound nuts or scared. I mean, if I said the barn was haunted I’d certainly sound nuts, and if I said it was creepy I’d just sound like a wimp. So I just walked out, didn’t say anything, and got in my first fight with Zechs.
After Heero became my whipping boy, though, there was no escaping. I wouldn’t risk making Zechs mad by simply avoiding the chore, and I felt less than ever that I could talk to Zechs about it. So, on the day after our punishment, Heero and I found ourselves standing outside the barn, ready to start a few hours of semi-strenuous work. Heero started for the barn, but I hesitated.
“You’re not going to start this again, are you?” Heero wondered, turning back to me. I could tell instantly that he was annoyed, and I didn’t blame him.
“Nah,” I said, brushing it off. “I won’t leave you alone in there, buddy. It’s just...” I trailed, staring at the dark, uncovered windows of the old barn. They looked like gaping mouths.
“It’s just what?” Heero snapped, still kind of pissed. As I said, it wasn’t like I could blame him.
“Don’t you... I mean, do you ever get the creeps while you’re in there?” I asked, hoping he’d say yes, but betting he’d say no. Still, if Heero felt the same way, then maybe I could convince him to talk to Zechs. If anyone could convince Zechs that we shouldn’t be working on the barn, it would be Heero. However, as I predicted, Heero frowned and shook his head.
“That’s ridiculous,” he replied. “The building is stable and solid. There is no reason for any feelings of pessimism.”
“I’m not being pessimistic, I’m saying it’s creepy. Like... like it’s haunted or something,” I said, making a last ditch effort not to go into the barn. This time, Heero actually growled.
“Stop being an idiot,” he snapped angrily. “If we don’t start soon Master is going to come out. We don’t have time for your shenanigans.”
“Fine,” I sighed and followed as he stormed into the barn.
Our job, once inside, was to pull down old, rotten boards in preparation to put up the new ones. The infected boards were each marked with a red X and were scattered through the first and second floors. I took the bottom floor and began to pry the boards down with a crowbar, while Heero took the top floor and the hammer.
Heero may have called me stupid, but I still couldn’t shake the eerie feeling of something being wrong as I began to take the boards down. The air was too thick, yet it was somehow stifling just as it was also too thin and hard to breathe. I was edgy and jumpy, and I had a terrible time focusing on the task at hand. The blood was pounding in my ears and I had a terrible headache, but I knew Heero and I would both be in trouble if I just quit, so I forced myself to work where I had previously given up. By focusing only on the movements of the crowbar and the boards and by counting down how many I had left to go I was able to keep myself moving.
At least, that is, until whatever force lurked in the old, dark barn suddenly attacked, and I found it impossible to breathe.
I grabbed my throat instantly, but there was nothing around it that I could touch. I struggled and coughed, managing only to get tiny gasps of breath. I tried to yell for Heero but I couldn’t get the oxygen needed for more than a whimper. My vision began to blur and my ears rang as I stumbled around, trying to get oxygen into my lungs. Eventually I fell and knocked something heavy over, but I wasn’t overly concerned with what it was at the moment. I writhed on the ground just trying to fill my burning lungs.
The sound, though, must have alerted Heero to my distress, because in the next moment I felt his hand on my shoulder. He forced me to my knees, yelling something that I couldn’t make out. In the next minute he grabbed me by the waist and struggled to haul me to the house. He was still screaming, but the ringing in my ears once again drowned it out. My vision began going gray as the world lurched to and fro with Heero’s panicked movements. In another moment there were more hands, and more voices, but I was too far gone to recognize them. I was too far gone to care.

Zechs 111
I should have known Duo would not wait long to cause more trouble. In fact, I was almost relieved. While having him quiet and docile for a few while was a nice, it was also unnerving. It was odd, because I hated to fight with him, but I almost hated not fighting with him more. At least when he fought me he had been vibrant and alive. He had laughed and played just as hard as he had fought me, and he had gotten just as excited as he got angry. It had been a constant wavering between two extremes, but it was exciting and challenging. Every day was an adventure of some kind.
In defeating Duo I had destroyed that sense of adventure and excitement. I had hoped to get Duo to submit, but I never intended to destroy his spirit. Watching him slink around the house like a beaten dog... it was sickening.
But there was nothing I could do. I had no choice but to act against Duo’s disrespect, and now that the act was done I could only ride the waves of my action and hope that things settled again. It seemed, once again, I had no option when it came to Duo.
So it was a relief to see Duo in the middle of a situation again, even if the situation was his own choking. I was in my office when it happened, and Heero came through the back of the house. I was quite a raucous, and by the time I got there all the other boys had already gathered around Duo, who was thrashing and trying to breathe.
“What happened here?” I demanded. Unfortunately I forgot to specify a name, and so got five responses and not a single answer.
“He can’t breathe!”
“They were in the barn!”
“Get Sally!”
“Help!”
“Ungh! Kaff!”
The last response, which was made by Duo, was actually the most informative. It told me that there was nothing lodged in his throat, nor was his esophagus completely closed. It did not, however, tell me what had happened. But it seemed that saving his life was probably more important than that, so I quit asking questions and headed for Heero.
“Heero, follow me. Wufei, call Sally. The rest of you get out of the way,” I demanded, pulling Duo’s twisting form from Heero’s arms. Then I turned toward the medical room, Duo in my arms and Heero at my heels.
“What happened?” I demanded, rushing down the hall.
“I don’t know!” Heero gasped. “He-... he was complaining about the barn being.... being haunted. He said he felt strange inside it. I thought... I though he was being dumb and then I found him... like this!”
I nodded, pausing a moment for Heero to open the door, then rushed into the room and put Duo on the table.
“Keep him on the table,” I demanded of Heero. Duo’s thrashing had become weaker, but I still didn’t doubt he would throw himself from the table in his panicked struggles. Heero hesitated a moment, then gave Duo his weight to help hold him still.
I began searching Sally’s well organized shelves, careful not to work myself into panic. I would have to keep myself calm to properly care for Duo. Meanwhile, I could hear Heero cooing to Duo on the other side of the room, trying to keep him calm. I managed to find the syringes, then quickly filled it from the drugs in the small refrigerator. Duo was too busy chocking to see what I was doing, but he did tense drastically as I injected him with the muscle relaxant. In another moment he relaxed, but he was still struggling for air.
I began my search again, but this time I had no idea where to look for the equipment I needed. Several minutes passed, all the while Duo’s struggles were growing weaker and Heero’s words were growing more frantic.
“Come on, Sally,” I whispered to myself. “I know you think of everything, so where did you put it?”
Finally, on the lowest shelf of the cupboard next to the bed, I found it. To anyone else it would merely look like a small machine connected by a plastic tube to a medical breathing mask, but to me it looked like salvation. Quickly I pulled the machine out and plugged it in, relief filling me at the sound of its quiet hum. Quickly I put the mask over Duo’s nose and mouth, holding him still as he struggled to pull it off.
“Leave it be,” I commanded. “If you don’t want to die.”
Duo glared at me in response, but settled to gasping for breath.
“Don’t gasp,” I told him. “Try to breathe slowly.”
“Is he... Will he be alright?” Heero whispered.
“He should be fine,” I responded, but kept a close eye on him none the less neither of us relaxed for several minutes, until Duo began to breathe normally.
“What happened?” Heero finally ventured. “It... I mean... I don’t believe in ghosts, but...”
“Don’t be ridiculous. That barn isn’t haunted, nor was this reaction caused by anything supernatural.”
“Then what...?”
“I... would rather not say. I’m not a doctor, so it would only be speculation.”
“Come now, Zechs,” Sally said, surprising us both as she entered the room. “We both know what happened. I’m surprised you didn’t catch it earlier.”
“He blamed all the symptoms on some ridiculous idea of the barn being haunted. It wasn’t unlikely that he would escape the procedure without any side effects, so I didn’t feel the need to pursue it.”
“Don’t get defensive. I’m not accusing you of missing something. Even the best doctors can’t make a diagnosis if the patient won’t tell them what’s wrong. And it looks like Duo didn’t know what was going on either. So, as with most teens, this all seems to be a case of miscommunication,” Sally said, dropping her bag to check Duo’s vitals.
“Uh...” Heero interjected, “Excuse me, but what’s going on? What’s wrong with Duo?”
“Oh, nothing serious,” Sally said offhandedly. “It seems that, due to all the damage to his lungs, Duo has contracted asthma. It’s probably a pretty severe case if he has this kind of reaction, but it’s not really a big deal. With modern technology we can cure him in about a week with breathing treatments.”
“Speaking of which,” I interjected, “Does the hospital have the equipment to do the treatments?”
“Yep. Like everything else down there, it’s not state of the art, but it’ll do the job just fine. We should start as soon as possible. Actually, if no one has any objections, I’d like to take him with me later tonight to run some tests and start the first treatment. Once he’s recovered, of course.”
“Of course. I agree, though, sooner would be better than later. We’re running low on time for Duo to practice for Collar. He will still be able to compete, won’t he?”
“I don’t see why not, as long as the treatments go well. But we’ll see how he feels at the end of the week. I assume you know how to deal with the side effects of the treatments, correct?”
“Side effects?” Heero wondered, still holding the unresponsive Duo’s hand.
“Nothing major,” Sally responded with a reassuring smile, “but the treatments can cause severe dryness in the mouth and throat. Nothing a hot shower and a cup of tea won’t cure.”
“I can make sure he gets that,” Heero said seriously.
“No, you can’t,” I replied. Heero looked slightly stricken.
“Why not?”
“You’ll be sleeping. Like before, we have to get Duo into the hospital when the least people are there to see him. I assume he’ll be leaving somewhere around one in the morning for the treatments and won’t return until nearly four. Does that sound about right, Sally?”
“Sounds good to me. I can get the night nurse to help me with the procedure, but I probably won’t even need her help.”
“But...” Heero protested.
“I’m not going to give in on this,” I warned, giving Heero a mild glare. “We’ve wasted too much time to have you tired during your training. I assure you, I can take care of Duo when he comes back. He’ll be in the bed next to you by the time you wake up,” I assured him, placing a hand on Duo’s shoulder. Duo glared and pulled away. I smiled at his guts. Even after a near death experience, Duo was still a brat.

Duo 112
Being back at the hospital sucked. I mean, I hate being sick anyway, and this was worse because I actually felt fine going in and crappy going out. If it weren’t for Zechs and Sally insisting, I would have been fine just letting it go. I mean, I didn’t get sick anywhere else and, while Heero assured me the barn wasn’t haunted, I really didn’t mind staying out of it, for safety’s sake. But Sally warned me that if left untreated my asthma could only worsen and Zechs made sure I knew I had no say in the matter, so I figured I’d take the easy road and go along with it.
Unfortunately, the easy road was filled with bumps, rocks, and this huge-ass machine that sucked the living daylights out of you. I mean, come on, how can putting a mask full of smoke over somebody’s face make anything better? But Sally assured me that it did and her Norwegian nurse assured me that if I didn’t cooperate I would be tied to the chair. Being outweighed by probably a couple hundred pounds, I smiled and complied.
Each session took about an hour to complete and only required me to sit in the chair and breathe deeply. The sessions were held at two in the morning to get me the least exposure possible, so I was always pretty tired and grumpy, as were Sally and the nurse. I would have fallen asleep, but the coughing, chocking, and burning sensations prevented it. Not that I wanted to fall asleep in the hospital anyway. I always worried that Sally would find something else wrong with me while I slept and I wake to find her doing brain surgery on me or something.
The aftereffects of the sessions weren’t any more pleasant than the sessions themselves. My throat and nose would be horribly, terribly dry and sensitive to the cold, so I had to drink several glasses of warm water before I could stand it. There would a horrible taste in the back of my mouth, something like a combination of steel and bleach, that very few things would wash away. My sense of smell would be completely gone until about lunch time the next day, which made eating breakfast a boring and unfulfilling task. Not that I often woke before lunch those last couple days. The coupling of the treatments and staying up all night left me completely drained of energy during the week of my treatments and for several days after. And, finally, my nose and throat would remain sore and dry until the end of my sessions, no matter what I did. The only time I gained any reprieve from the ache of painful breathing was in a hot shower or relaxing in the Jacuzzi. Little to say I found myself taking more baths in that week than I did for the rest of the month.
But, like the rest of my life, not even the baths could be completely free from flaws. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the showers, because the old house somehow had brand new showers with benches and a never ending hot water supply. On the streets a hot shower was a luxury that we could never afford, and in Collar any kind of luxury I received almost always meant that I would get fucked in the very near future. I indulged in long, hot showers when ever I needed one with Master Zechs, but I had never felt the need to jump in eight times a day just to take advantage of them. I mean, not with all the other seemingly free luxuries the place had to offer. And Zechs had assured me before I even left for my first session that I could jump in the shower any time I wanted. He had even granted me unlimited access to the Jacuzzi, stipulating that someone had to be there with me to make sure I didn’t drown or something. But, really, how hard is it to convince any hardworking teen to jump in a hottub for a few hours? Most of the time I had at least two others in there with me, and there was always someone willing to go if they didn’t have chores or work to do. I even had all my chores suspended for as long as I was having treatments. I mean, it seems perfect, right? The only problem was the early morning baths.
I had to leave for the hospital at half past twelve to get to the hospital by one, but half an hour’s ride really wasn’t all that bad. It took another half an hour to setup the equipment and check everything before the treatments could begin, then the treatment lasted a full hour. Even after the treatment was over I had to stay for another half an hour. Sally wanted to make sure I wouldn’t up and die, I guess, and she kept me at the hospital in case I tried. Then there was another half an hour ride in the ambulance to get me home. I was usually so tired by that time that I had to be wheeled downstairs, and I always fell asleep on the way back. My only solace was that Zechs stayed home. I didn’t want him treating me like any more of a child than he already did. The driver, though, who was the same guy who drove Zechs’ limo, seemed to understand my plight. Whatever the reason, he never said anything, to me or to Zechs.
Despite the fact that I got back at three in the morning, Zechs was always awake and waiting when we pulled up, like he didn’t trust me to find my way to the door. I mean, really, how far did he think I’d get in my condition if I tried to run? Those last couple nights, though, I actually appreciated his efforts because I didn’t even have the energy to get out of the car. Zechs had to carry me into the house and put me to bed like a damned infant. He seemed okay with it, and he never made a big deal about it, but damned if it didn’t smart on my pride. I wasn’t an invalid, regardless of current health records to the contrary.
The very worst part, the part that really stung my pride, was getting a bath in the asshole’s bathroom and having to leave the door unlocked. I never took a bath with a master around if I could help it, and the first couple days at the house, when I had been strong enough to take showers on my own, I had not only locked the door and checked the handle, but also jammed the lock and put a chair under the doorknob. Slowly, I had grown to trust Zechs and the chair had been removed, and eventually I even gave up jamming the lock, but there had always been that lock to protect me. In a shower... there is no protection. You just can’t get as clean with your clothes on, trust me, I tried, and even if you do shower in them you still have to change out of them or risk getting sick, which was even worse in the slave world. In a shower... I was naked, in every sense of the word. It was okay, even enjoyable when I knew I was safe, but without the lock...I wouldn’t be safe. What little trust I had gained for Zechs couldn’t overcome that fact. I would be totally exposed to him. When you’re raped in a shower, which admittedly had happened to me many times, its almost as though your letting them do it. There’s no barrier between you and them, nothing that they have to fight you about. Sometimes, even, they would sneak up on me, if I were really out of it from drugs or drink, and they would be in me before I even knew they were there. When they told me I was a slut, a whore, and that I had wanted it all along... if we were in a shower, I would almost believe it. I’d get out of those showers feeling dirtier than when I got in, knowing there was nothing that could clean it away now.
But it wasn’t a choice; I knew it and he knew it. Sally had insisted that I get a hot shower or bath the moment I got home to loosen my airway and help me breathe, and Zechs never gave me a choice when it came to my health. We did what was best for my body, no matter how much my psyche protested. The asshole did give me an ultimatum, though; take a shower unlocked alone or use the Jacuzzi with him. One in which I would be alone and completely naked, the other I’d have a little clothing, but he’s be right there with me. In the end, I chose the shower because it was closer to the bed. A Jacuzzi was just a large bathtub or a small pool, and I didn’t have a lot of fond memories of either.
This arrangement worked alright for a couple days of my treatment. Now, don’t get me wrong, I loathed leaving myself open and vulnerable like that, but at three in the morning, dead tired and hurting, I just didn’t have the energy to argue. I walked into the bathroom like a zombie, or later in the week Zechs would take me in and set me on a bench while he started the water, and when I was sure I was alone I would strip, trudge into the shower and sit under the spray for somewhere near half an hour before I bothered to wash up. I always washed up, even though I was dead tired, because I sweated through my treatments and I always got that itchy, sick feeling. Then I would get out, dry off, dress in long sleeved pajamas which Zechs always made sure were waiting for me, and trudge over to the room I shared with Heero and promptly fall down in a dead sleep upon the bed. The key to all of this, of course, was walking after my sessions, a skill that promptly failed me after my fifth treatment.

Zechs 113
I watched Duo with a mixture of weariness and trepidation. On the one hand, he was exhausted, unable even to rouse himself enough to walk up the stairs from the car. He had attempted, then promptly fallen on the ground, where I had collected him. His breathing was raspy despite the water I gave him and it sounded like his nasal passages had all but dried up. He needed a shower, but with him unable to stand it was impossible to trust him alone with one. One the other hand, Duo was still very nervous having me very close, and I couldn’t guarantee that my stripping him for a bath wouldn’t rouse him enough to let him start a fit, and I really didn’t want the other boys to wake to Duo’s screaming. So, what to do?
Eventually I decided to compromise on taking him down to the jacuzzi. I’d still have to get him out of most of his clothes, but he wouldn’t be completely naked. I’d have to manhandle him to get him in, but I wouldn’t have to hold him as I would in the shower. The jacuzzi might also let him gain some strength back, so hopefully he could get into clean clothes on his own. It didn’t hurt that the jacuzzi was outside, so it was less likely to wake the boys if Duo decided to throw a fit.
Having made this decision, I took Duo directly from the car to back porch. Duo was too tired to even lift his head and left it lolling against my side. His eyes were half closed and he stared at my chest, not even bothering to look around, completely miserable. I took him onto the deck, where he finally managed to look around, even if it was only to look up at the stars.
“What are you doing?” he rasped painfully.
“We’re going to take a dip,” I quipped in response.
“Don’ wanna,” he moaned in reply.
“I know. I’ll try to make this quick,” I told him, trying to convey my sympathy. It was one thing to crack heads with him when he was well, over stupid things. It was another to argue with Duo when he was sick, and I couldn’t blame him for wanting to keep his clothes on around me. I could only hope he’d understand my reasons.
Gently, I lowered him to a bench and began to unbutton his shirt. He batted my hands away weakly and attempted to undo the buttons on his own, but couldn’t manage it. I gently but firmly moved his hands aside and unbuttoned it myself, then slipped the shirt from his slim shoulders and set it aside. I moved next to his shoes and socks, putting off removing his pants as much as I could. I removed the shoes and socks, set them aside, and was left with nothing more to help me procrastinate. I reached for the buttons on his jeans, but Duo jerked away from my grip.
“No!” he moaned.
“Duo, I have to take them off...”
“I can wear them in!” he protested in a pained whisper.
“You can’t. I’m sorry, but it will be nearly impossible to get jeans off of you if you soak them, not to mention uncomfortable. Now, be still,” I commanded, giving Duo a mild glare to show him I was serious. Duo pouted and looked almost as though he would cry, turning his head sharply away from me to hide it. I reached out quickly and unsnapped the button on his jeans, pulled down the sipper, then slipped them off his narrow hips. They slithered down his slim legs to pool at his ankles where they became entangled in his feet, so that I had to free each foot individually. Underneath the jeans, Duo was wearing dark blue boxes that extended to his upper thigh, well covering his groin area. I was grateful, for any kind of white briefs would have left him no better than naked when they hit the warm water.
From there, I took Duo’s hands and pulled him to his feet, knowing he would rather walk to the tub and keep some space between us in his current condition. As he got to his feet, however, he wobbled, then stumbled and fell against my chest. My arms immediately came up to steady him in what probably looked like an intimate embrace. To Duo, it was far too close, and he shoved himself away from me with a weak growl, almost landing himself on his rear as his body refused to stand without my support. I managed to catch him, of course, and lifted him into my arms, then quickly deposited him into the pool. He shoved away from me again as I lowered him, nervous, I suppose, by his lack of clothing and our close proximity. Whatever the reason, I was in no position to catch him at the time, so when he jerked out of my arms I lost my grip and he slipped from his seat at the edge of the pool into the center, where the water was deeper. There was only an instant where I lost my hold, but his face still managed to hit the water for a moment before I pulled him back up. Still, it caused my heart to skip a beat, and I felt a moment of satisfaction about the precautions I had taken with the hottub and the boys.
“What the hell was that?” I snapped harshly, repositioning him in the seat.
“I don’ need ‘elp,” he protested weakly.
“Obviously you do,” I growled back, stomping away from the pool to pick up his clothes and angrily shed my own.
By the time I returned to the pool I had calmed again, and the rest of my foul humor slipped away as I slipped into the hot water in the seat next to Duo. It was gone for only seconds, though, and returned quickly as I saw Duo shift to the far side of his seat, as far away from me as he could get. Had he the strength, I have no doubt he would have moved to a different seat, or gotten out of the pool altogether. I sighed in annoyance.
“Duo, I’m not going to jump you. You don’t need to run away from me like that.”
“Don’ trus’ you,” Duo rasped, making himself more comfortable in his new position by crouching down so that his chin rested just above the water’s surface. He began to breathe through his mouth and nose, trying to get the most steam possible to the sore areas of his body. I reached over and flicked the bubbles on to low, causing the tub to give a dull, quiet hum.
“Why do you fear me?” I wondered quietly. “I’ve never harmed you or given any reason at all for this kind of fear. So... why such a strong reaction?” I asked, hesitant to admit that I was somewhat hurt. I had never thought of myself as a brute, but Duo acted as though I was one.
“All masters are bad,” Duo huffed, sulking.
“All?” I asked pointedly, “Solo was a master, wasn’t he?” Duo seemed taken aback by his own words. “Would you have ever gotten to know Solo if you had this kind of an attitude?”
“It’s not the same...” Duo defended halfheartedly. “Solo was... he was an exception.”
“It is the same, and why can’t you make an exception for me then? You’re passing up so many opportunities to be happy because of this prejudice you have against masters. I know it’s not fair, but...”
“You don’t understand,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion. “It’s too late for me,” he said, tears springing once again to his eyes. I suddenly felt such a deep pang of sympathy that I reached for him, thoughtlessly, only to be stung when he jerked harshly away from me. I knew I should have expected it, but still it hurt me in a way Duo hadn’t before. But I couldn’t get mad at him, for he was far more miserable than I was, sitting on the other side of the pool, looking fail, ill, depressed and alone. It was with a deep sense of helplessness that I kept myself from reaching for him again, knowing the results would be the same.
I gave a sigh, deep and heavy, then stood and got out of the pool. When I pulled a towel from the compartment in the side of the Jacuzzi and began to dry off, Duo got nervous.
“H-hey!” Duo protested. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to get dressed and fetch your clothes. I’ll only be gone a minute, but if you start to feel faint get out. Don’t fall asleep in there while I’m gone,” I instructed stiffly. I paused, making sure Duo didn’t have anything to say, then headed into the house and up the stairs.
In our room, Wufei was awake and out of bed. Usually my comings and goings wouldn’t wake him, and even Duo’s entrance would only cause him to open and then close one sleepy to assure himself that it was safe. It seemed that Wufei’s single-minded purpose extended even to sleeping, and in a place he deemed as safe he had put himself on an iron-clad sleep schedule.
“Where’s Duo?” he wondered, rubbing his eyes sleepily.
“Downstairs, in the Jacuzzi. He was too tired to stand, so I put him in the hottub.”
“Do you need help?” he asked.
“No, I’m just getting his clothes from the bathroom,” I said as I moved out of his line of sight and began to dress.
“How many more days does he have?” Wufei asked, laying back down.
“Only two more sessions and he’ll be finished, but he’s wiped out. He’ll probably sleep for a week after that.”
“Hm,” Wufei replied, closing his eyes and smiling. “Duo will probably enjoy that.”
“Probably,” I responded with a like smile as I went to the bathroom to collect Duo’s clothes. By the time I returned, Wufei was already asleep.
Once outside again, I found that Duo had managed to stay awake, just barely. He was still chin deep in the water, his head lolling back now as he gazed at the stars. His gazed flicked toward me as he heard my footsteps approaching, then quickly returned to the sky.
“Come on,” I told him, “it’s time to go inside.”
“Do we have to?” he asked wistfully. “Look how pretty the stars are tonight.”
“You can see the stars tomorrow night. Now, can you dress yourself, or do you need help?” I asked, taking his hand and leading him out of the tub. Duo made a face in response.
“I think I can manage it myself.”
“Alright,” I responded, though I had some doubts as to whether he could actually accomplish this task or not, as I was nearly carrying him into the house. Still, I took him into the medical room’s bathroom and set him on the toilet with a towel. “You have ten minutes to get into your clothes before I come back and do it for you,” I told him, then rose to give him some privacy.
“Don’t bother,” he said before I could get out the door.
“What?”
“I can’t do it,” he replied miserably. “I can’t even lift the damn towel.”
“Then I’m going to have to help you,” I replied carefully.
“Well duh!” Duo snapped, his pride wounded. I rolled my eyes, the only rebuttal I allowed myself at this time, and moved to dry him off. His hair was still up from the hospital, where Sally always ordered it into a bun to keep it out of her instruments, so luckily it was mostly dry. I dried off the rest of his body quickly, just rubbing the water off the parts I could reach without lifting him. Then, remaining professional, I slipped his boxers down his legs and onto the floor.
Duo, meanwhile, remained coiled like a spring, fighting his own instinct to bolt. I could only be awed by the amount of control he was wielding over himself, for only an hour earlier he had shied away from me at a distance, and now he was allowing me to touch him without even clothing between us. I hoped it was because he was trying to trust me, but I knew that it was probably just as much, if not more, because of Duo’s complete exhaustion. I wanted to be happy that he was finally letting me get close, but I knew it was probably worse that he was still fighting not to run from me when he was literally exhausted.
It was awkward getting Duo into his underwear, probably more so for him than for me. I could only get them up to his knees without lifting him up, and since he was incapable of standing I had to warp an arm around his waist and lift him while pulling up his boxers with the other. From there it was far easier to get him into the rest of his clothes, possibly because he wasn’t quite so shy and flinchy. By the time I finished getting his shirt on he was leaning heavily against my chest, and his eyes were almost closed. I smiled softly, abandoning his wet undergarment on the floor as I pulled him into my arms and carried him upstairs.
It was almost with a sense of sorrow that I deposited him into the bed next to Heero’s. This was the closest I had been able to get to the braided boy, and while I was still much closer to the others I enjoyed Duo’s company as well, even if it was a challenge. I smiled softly, pushing a loose hair out of his face as I watched him sleep. He really wasn’t so bad... when he was sleeping. I sighed, then gently pulled his hair out of the bun so he wouldn’t wake up with a crick in his neck, and left. I doubted if Duo would tolerate me gawking at him if he were awake, so I felt it best to remove myself from the temptation.
Back in my own room, minutes later, with Wufei curled contentedly in my arms, I could only puzzle over the mystery that was Duo feel that I had missed something important. But what could I possibly be missing? What string could I pull that would unravel Duo from his self-imposed shell? These questions followed me to sleep, then haunted me even in my dreams.

Wufei 114
By the end of the week, Duo’s treatments had finished, he was sleeping nearly twenty hours a day, and Zechs was almost constantly grumpy. Despite his constant assurances that he was perfectly fine with staying up to receive Duo, the bags under his eyes said differently. And, of course, it was fully beyond the powers of any of us to stay up late one night, or so Zechs believed. Regardless of the reason, Master insisted on staying up late and getting up early every night for a week, getting only four or five hours of sleep a night. So it wasn’t really surprising when, the day after Duo’s last session, Zechs slept more than half the day. It was, however, surprising to find him awake and chipper the next day.
“What’s gotten into you?” I wondered as Master flopped down beside me on the patio. I liked to come out before breakfast and read a bit in the early sunlight; you can’t appreciate Chinese script in artificial light, and it had been a long time since I had seen any books with script of this quality. Zechs, beside me on the bench, merely smiled and took a large bight out of his apple.
“What do you mean? It’s a beautiful day, Duo’s treatments are finished and fully successful, and all of you are making leaps and bounds in your events. Why shouldn’t I be happy?”
“I didn’t say you shouldn’t be happy. I said you shouldn’t be this happy. There’s a difference,” I responded. Zechs chuckled, then lay back on the bench.
“Face it, Wufei, things are good. I mean, there are some problems here and there, but overall things are finally starting to go right. Have you seen Quatre’s souffle? He’s a natural at cooking! And Trowa can survive anywhere, and probably sing while doing it. Heero has taken on such a wide variety of competitions, and excels at every one. And you... well, you’re already a champion, so I’d assume you’re good at everything, but...” he trailed, his brows furrowing as he thought deeply. “Come to think of it, I haven’t seen anything you’ve been practicing. You should show me what you’re working on.”
“Ah... um...” I stuttered, surprised. “Of course. What would you like to see?”
“What’s the next skill you’ll be practicing?”
“That would be dance, but I don’t practice that until eleven. I tutor Trowa and Duo in the mornings.”
“Hm. That won’t work for me. I have a teleconference with one of my aides about my business investments.”
“I practice fencing at two. I could use a partner, honestly. There’s only so much I can do without someone to spar with.”
“Two it is, then,” Zechs replied with a grin. “I’ll try not to cheat this time,” he promised. I blushed, remembering our last duel.
Breakfast rushed past, though it was delicious as always. Quatre, who had the earliest chore of making breakfast, had indeed made leaps and bounds where it came to cooking, and I was certain he had in other areas as well. My next task, teaching Trowa and Duo, did not fly by so quickly, mainly because Duo was a constant source of frustration to me. Trowa, who came at nine for two hours of schooling, was a joy to teach. He wasn’t gifted at reading or writing, which isn’t to say he was slow, just that he didn’t have a natural knack for it. It seemed that, as a dancer, performer, and slave, Trowa had gained a skill for reading people through their tones and body language. It was hard for him to understand how mere words could express all of those different things, and so he sometimes struggled to understand connotations of some words. However, he memorized the letters very quickly and soon had the basic skills of reading down. His writing, as well, gave him very little trouble, and his letter were written with an almost artistic flare, though he did spend more time than necessary in perfecting each letter. All in all, it was enjoyable to teach Trowa, and barely a challenge at all to me. Trowa was so easy to teach, in fact, that I usually left him alone to study on his own for the last hour of his session.
The challenge of teaching came with Duo, and most of the joy fled. Duo came into my “class” knowing the basic skills of reading and writing, but nothing more. Still, Duo could see no use in having any kind of grammar skills above the basic, and was perfectly happy with writing “kat” and “roc.” He didn’t see any use in knowing the difference between “soul” and “sole,” or “waste” and “waist,” either. So his attitude toward my class left much to be desired.
Beyond his attitude, he was not an exemplary student anyway. Duo had a tendency to get easily distracted, and sometimes he would merely fall asleep during an assignment, and other times he would get up and wander off. More than once I found him at the game system instead of working if I dared to turn my back for more than a second. Other times I would find that he had doodled in the margins instead of filling in the answers to my questions. Verbal lessons were no better, because he could more easily fall asleep. It was also much more frustrating to directly ask him a question and receive an answer that proved he had not been listening than to have him write down the answer. At least when he was writing I could fool myself into thinking he had been listening.
One of the most difficult challenges about teaching Duo was his skittishness. It is difficult not to get into close proximity when teaching only one student at a time. Like most tutors, I tended to lean over Duo’s shoulder and read some of his answers while he worked, so that I could stop him if I saw any kind of continuing mistake. Duo, however, viewed this as an invasion of his personal space, and would often snap at me. If I didn’t back off immediately he’d become very upset, often throwing his paper or his pencil, and the lesson would have to end for the day, because Duo would no longer respond to anything I said or did. It was difficult and frustrating not to get close to Duo, but what concerned me more was that he wouldn’t allow me. I found it odd that he would keep such a harsh space barrier between him and me. Certainly we weren’t the closest pair out of the group, but I didn’t think we were so far apart, either. It concerned me, but I didn’t want to put more distance between us by being a tattletale, so I kept my worries to myself.
The worst part about this situation was that Duo, who had come in with a basic knowledge of grammar, had made very little progress, while Trowa, who had come in with no knowledge at all, had made such a significant improvement that it was very possible that he would catch or even exceed Duo in the near future. And since there seemed to be very little difference in their intelligence, I could only attribute this disparity in progress to their individual attitudes.
Of course, it wasn’t all bad. Duo did make some progress, and it was probably only the comparison of the two that made it seem like less. There were days when he would come in with a bright attitude where we would make great progress on his lessons, just as there were days when he would come in with a foul attitude and we would make no progress. Regardless, he wasn’t trying to sabotage my class and he didn’t seem to have any natural dislike for me, so most days ran smoothly, though they were frustrating to me. It helped if Heero would stop by to encourage Duo, because Heero’s opinion was very important to Duo for some reason. Heero had a free hour at the same time Duo took his lessons, so he would often take time to help Duo with problems he was struggling with if I were busy, or encourage him if not. Whatever the reason, Duo was much less frustrating in front of Heero, so I encouraged him to visit whenever he wanted.
That day, however, Duo was still recovering from his asthma treatments, and so was excused from class. With Trowa reading well on his own, I was left on my own. With an extra hour of free time, I decided to stay close in case Trowa needed me, so picked up a convenient book and sat down in a chair by the window to read.
Before I could open the book, though, a sight outside caught my attention. It was Zechs, mounted on a white horse, riding across the field. Heero, mounted on a dark roan stallion, was a few feet behind him, but closing quickly. They were both smiling, though it looked like Heero was putting a lot more effort into catching up than Zechs was in staying ahead. I could only assume that, in his brilliant mood, Zechs had volunteered to go riding with Heero and view his improvement in that area. Together they looked like a knight and a squire, riding into battle. I could almost imagine Zechs as the older, practiced knight and Heero as his nervous squire, off to witness his first battle. Zechs would protect him, of course, keeping him close at his side during the battle, wary of letting his young charge wonder into danger. The two of them reined their horses to a stop, and Zechs leaned over to say something to Heero. In my fantasy, Zechs would give him vital information on how to steady his horse during battle. Heero would smile and nod, quite in awe of his older, stronger teacher. Then Zechs would smile and lean close to Heero, then give him a quick peck on the lips. Heero would blush demurely, still unused to such intimate touches. But it wouldn’t matter, because Zechs would soon teach his young protégée the way of the warrior, in life and in bed.
I was called from my musings as the two rode off again, and realized nearly five minutes had passed and I had yet to even open my book. Blushing, I quickly opened the cover and read the first sentence, but soon found my eyes drifting back to the window. With a sigh of defeat, I closed my book and turned to the window.
“I’m no better than Duo,” I mumbled, but not even that remark was enough to pull my attention away from the pair outside. Heero was gorgeous, youthful and vibrant, but his beauty paled in comparison to Zechs. With his long, golden hair flowing behind him as he rode his pure white stallion across the grass, Zechs looked like a warrior of god, radiant with life and strength.
“Wufei?” Trowa called from across the room. “Can you help me with this word? It doesn’t seem to fit the sentence.”
“Coming,” I responded, setting aside my unread book and quickly leaving the window behind. By the time I returned, both Heero and Zechs had disappeared from view.

Wufei 115
At exactly two o’clock, Zechs appeared in the doorway of training room, dressed for a fencing match. I, of course, was already there and preparing for the match.
There were very few words as we began, but there was no animosity, either. There simply were no words needed, and the battle began with a rakish grin from him and a competitive sneer from me.
The swords sang as we danced as we danced to an ancient song of testosterone and adrenaline. Hearts beat in time with the strike of swords, and footfalls created the beating of drums. Within minutes we were both soaked in sweat and grinning like loons.
“It seems we are evenly matched in a fair fight,” Zechs said.
“Almost,” I responded, “as you are older, wiser, and stronger, but,” I said as I quickly made a daring move with my sword by putting the tip of it just behind the hilt of his sword. Then, with a flick of my wrist, his sword flew from his hands, “it seems that I have more experience.”
Zechs was stunned and bewildered by my move, but, unlike other masters, he didn’t get the slightest bit angry with me for besting him. On the contrary, he laughed as he retrieved his sword.
“How in the world did you come up with a move like that?” he wondered, still looking at his sword with a bit of confusion. “I thought my sword had taken wing.”
“When you practice a skill for hours a day, every day, for three years, you begin to get... creative,” I told him. “Sheer boredom can be a strangely good motivator,” I admitted.
“I see. Can you perform any other tricks?” he wondered, still grinning. I rolled my eyes, but revealed to him that I could balance the tip of my sword on the end of three fingers. He laughed out loud, at this. “You look like a trained seal,” he scoffed. I glared, flipped the sword, caught it, and playfully raised it to his throat. “I very pissed of trained seal,” he said, the laughter gone, but humor still lighting his eyes. I rolled my eyes again, then put my sword back in the case. Zechs followed a moment later, and deposited his beside mine.
“All joking aside,” he said more seriously, “your skills are amazing, especially for your age. I can see how you would be able to win the competition every year,” he said, turning to me, pride glowing in his eyes. I blushed, knowing that I had been given all the best in order to learn those skills, and that someone else probably could have used that much time and effort to become a much better swordsman than I was.
“It is nothing,” I responded, lowing my eyes. I felt something brush the side of my face, and looked up to see Zechs pushing a stray hair off of my forehead. Our battle must have dislodged it, for it was usually pulled back into a severe ponytail, but I was almost grateful for it. If it meant more of these affectionate touches, perhaps I would not use such a tight rubberband any more.
Our eyes met then, and I felt his crystalline blue gaze pull me toward him with the sureness of gravity, and it seemed as though he felt it too, for our faces slowly came together. In another moment, our lips touched, and a jolt of lust struck me. Zechs began exploring my lips with his own, and I eagerly opened my mouth to him, allowing his tongue to dart in before it even sought entrance. Zechs did not disappoint, and our tongues resumed the battle that our hands had given up. Neither did our hands stay idle, for Zechs’ slipped his up to grasp my shoulders, as I raised mine to touch his hair. We were panting once again, both consumed by the heat of our groins. When Zechs urged me to the matted floor, I followed eagerly.
Zechs was beautiful, and once within reach I could not help but run my hands over his perfect body. His clothes annoyed me, for I wanted to feel that flawless skin, but Zechs was more than happy to rid me of that particular annoyance. His shirt fled almost instantly, followed quickly by his shoes, then, with a bit of struggle, his pants. Of course, it wasn’t fair for me to expect him to be the only one sacrificing clothing, and so my articles disappeared at the same rate as his.
Once free from the bonds of fabric, we both seemed to set to the task of rubbing as much skin together as humanly possible while still locking our lips together. We twined our legs, still clinging together in an embrace of passion. Somehow, Zechs managed to get himself on top of me, grinding his hips down on mine. As good as it felt, it just didn’t suit me, so I rolled us, flipping myself on top of him. This didn’t suit him, and he rolled us again, both of us using that momentum to keep rolling until eventually we began tussling like puppies. At some point during our romp Zechs must have grown annoyed, for in a very puppy-like manner he deserted my mouth and bit my neck, a sensation that was probably meant for a punishment but served the exact opposite effect. It caused me so much pleasure, in fact, that I completely forgot our fight for dominance and allowed Zechs to climb on top of me without the slightest struggle. He continued to bite me, though whether it was because it pleased me or to maintain his position I couldn’t tell you. It was only when he grew bored with biting my neck and moved lower, to bite my chest, that I was able to have any sort of rational thought. It was only then that I realized where exactly we were headed.
It would probably seem to many that I would want to put up more of a fight to protect the chastity that I had defended from so many, and lost only to one. But it is that exact lack of fight that allowed me to give in to Zechs. All the other masters, even the Owner, in taking me had wanted to dominate me, submit me, and use me. They had forced me, persistently seduced me, and even frightened me in trying to have me. Only with Zechs was I an equal, on an equal field, both giving and receiving. Only with him did I feel a lust that I wanted him to satisfy just as much as I wanted to satisfy his. Had I pushed away from our kiss, I have no doubt Zechs would have walked away quietly. He would not have waited forever, perhaps, but he was certainly better than any other masters, who demanded immediate satisfaction and had no control over themselves or their lusts. Zechs was not perfect, obviously, but he was far better than the rest.
Perhaps it was my own imagination that made the interaction all the more intimate. Maybe it was because I could imagine us under different circumstances performing the exact same actions. He would be the wise fencing instructor, and I would be the young, easily swayed student, just feeling the first twinges of lust running through my youthful body. Or, even more normal, I could see myself as the naive high school student, while he would become the older, more worldly college student. He would, of course, insist on being my steady boyfriend to fend off his own jealous nature by keeping me far from other men. In return, he would teach me all the erotic things that could be done with my own body, and I would be an eager pupil.
I sighed in longing, momentarily distracted by the marvelous sensations Zechs was creating in me. All this fantasizing was useless. I was from a strict, traditional background where homosexuality was expressly forbidden. In no other place than this could the two of us be together, and no other reality but this was true. Conjecture was useless, but couldn’t this be enough? Regardless of what background the fantasy placed us in, was the result not the same? Even here, with this horrid past to contend with, there was still a beautiful man above me now, invoking all kinds of sensations within me that I never thought I’d be able to feel. What more could I ask for than this moment? Instead of asking to change the past, I should be attempting to make the most of the future.
“Please,” I begged hoarsely, “I want you... in me.”
“Are you sure?” Zechs asked, his voice rumbling from where he was leaving kisses on my stomach. If I hadn’t been before, his question made me certain.
“Yes,” I hissed, another wave of lust hitting as he licked the flat plane of my stomach. “Please!” I exclaimed, already trying to wiggle free of my underwear. Zechs chuckled, lifting my hips and sliding the offending article down my legs, where I managed to kick it off with my feet. He quickly divested himself of his own undergarments, so that our weeping, red erections could finally meet. They bobbed up and down in excitement, eager to meet, and when Zechs lowered himself back down to me they intertwined like burning serpents. Zechs moaned as I gasped, both of us struggling not to come at the contact.
“We need lube,” Zechs croaked, his hips thrusting at me involuntarily.
“I’m on it,” I responded, heaving myself up and untangling us before taking Zechs deep into my mouth. He tensed for a moment, then fell back against the floor, placing his hands in my hair but neither pushing nor pulling. Without instruction, I merely bathed his hard penis in my saliva, careful not to do anything that might push him over the edge. In a minute he was wet enough for safe entry, so like a harlot I turned around and presented myself to him.
“Wufei,” he protested, already grabbing my thigh, “that... it’s not enough.”
“It is,” I countered, wiggling my rear to entice him. It seemed that I had won, for he did not pull away, but the thing that I felt brushing my entrance was certainly not a penis. It was wet and slimy, and I realized a moment later that Zechs was licking my entrance.
I fought hard not to come at that thought and won, just barely, but with Zechs licking the most tender secret of my body I didn’t know how long I could hold out.
“Please!” I shouted, clenching my eyes shut, “I need you, damnit!”
This must have been the secret phrase, for a second later his tongue was gone and he was splitting me in two and by the ancients was it wonderful! I screamed as he hit my prostrate, managing only to get past only a few thrusts before I came, Zechs coming inside me only a second later. I collapsed against the mat as Zechs continued to thrust shallowly into me, my body milking him of the last of his seed. In another minute or so he collapsed on top of me, both of us panting like we had just fought another battle. I caught his eye over my shoulder and we smiled at each other.
“I see,” Zechs panted, “that you know more swordtricks than those you revealed earlier. I must say, I’m impressed.”
“It-..” I gasped, still fighting for breath, “It seems I have bested you again,” I taunted. Zechs laughed and gave a saucy wink.
“Best three out of four?”

Duo 116
The day after my treatments ended I slept until two in the afternoon, woke, and felt a million times better. Then I got up, took a shower, and felt a million times better than that. I even went downstairs and got something to eat, even though I hadn’t felt like eating much the last couple of days. By the time all of that was over I felt so good that I though I’d see if I could find Wufei, to ask about catching up on all the lessons I’d missed. It was after three, and I knew Wufei always practiced calligraphy in the library from three to four, so I went upstairs to talk to him.
I wasn’t, of course, all that interested in making up my reading lesson, which Wufei had magically turned into a reading, writing, comprehending, math, science, and history lesson all balled into one. It was bad enough the I had to sit through all these boring classes, but Wufei actually expected me to apply myself. For what? I mean, I was a slave. Slave! Why would I need to know how to read and write? Some owners forbade their slaves from knowing such skills, because it made it easier for them to escape. But I already had enough reading and writing skills to make an escape, so what would I need any more for? Especially with so few opportunities to escape presenting themselves to me. It boggled my mind that Zechs would ask Wufei to give me these classes, and even more so that Wufei would get so enthusiastic about teaching them. But, really, what the hell, eh? If Wufei wanted to torment himself by tormenting me, that was alright. And some of the stuff was really neat, if I felt good enough to put some effort toward it. It would make Wufei happy to see me take some initiative in my learning, but it would make me even happier to take some initiative in my Wrestling Mania video game. So, if Wufei could teach me, great. If he couldn’t, even better.
The trouble was, when I went upstairs to talk to him, he wasn’t there. It confused me, because Wufei was never late, and yet his quills were still neatly stacked and dry, untouched for the day. I was a little worried, because Wufei was so stern and punctual, that I was afraid he might be in trouble. My video game called to me like a siren, but I ignored it. My heart wouldn’t let me go until I was certain Wufei was alright.
So where else would Wufei be? The first place I would always look for Wufei was the library, since he loved to curl up with those books of his if he had any spare time at all. Unfortunately, I was already in the library, and it was obvious that Wufei was not here. So where was the second place to look for a missing FeiFei? The studio seemed like the next logical place to look, since it was where Wufei practiced both his dance and fencing routines. Sometimes Wufei would get so into a new move or routine that he would completely forget the time, so if he wasn’t lost in his reading that seemed like the only other place he would spend time in. If he weren’t there, I’d probably have to search the rest of the house, because he was about equally likely to be anywhere else. Of course, if he wasn’t in the studio I might just have to give up and take a nap. My energy reserves were still pathetically low, and I had drained them a lot climbing the stairs from the second to the third floor. There was a good chance I would finish them off descending the stairs all the way to the ground floor.
But, stubbornly, I pushed myself to make the trip down the stairs, calling myself a baby when I felt too tired to go on. I almost stopped on the second floor to take a nap, as my bed seemed to be calling to me once again, but I liked Wufei and wanted to make sure nothing was wrong. I was hesitant to admit it, but I had a bad feeling about Wufei being missing.
Stupid, fucked up, backwards instincts. That’s the last time I ever listen to my sixth sense.
Anyway, I made it to the bottom of the stairs, huffing and puffing, and dragged myself all the way to the studio. I even stopped at the bottom of the stairs to rest a moment, buying them some extra time, but it just wasn’t enough. I got to the studio, pulled open the conveniently unlocked door, and was met with the sight of Zechs and Wufei, both buck-ass naked, spooning like a pair of kittens on the studio floor.
“Holy shit!”
“Duo, I can explain!” Zechs said, looking surprised and barely awake.
“Holy shit!”
“Duo, it’s not what you think!” he tried again, trying to turn toward me without turning around and revealing his... ah... attributes.
“Holy shit!”
“Duo, shut it!” Wufei snapped from where he was curled beside Zechs.
“Wufei! A-are you alright?” I asked, finally managing to get a coherent thought into my head.
“I was better before somebody woke me up,” he said grumpily, curling closer to Zechs chest and repositioning Zechs’ shirt, which he was using as a blanket. “What are you even doing here?” he asked.
“I...” I stumbled, my brain unable to keep up with the situation. “I wanted to... to make up my school work...”
“Now he takes an interest in his studies,” Wufei grumbled, rolling his eyes. He yawned again, then laid his head back on Zechs’ arm. “If you want to make up your work we can schedule some time on the weekend, when you’ve rested a little more. Otherwise you don’t have to worry about it, and we’ll just continue where we left off on Monday,” he responded, his eyes already closed.
“But... I mean... what about...” I said, gesturing rapidly with my hands to convey what I couldn’t quite get my head wrapped around verbally.
“What about what?” Wufei snapped, opening his eyes and leaning over Zechs to see me.
“About... this!” I replied.
“What about it?” Wufei asked. “Zechs and I had sex. There’s nothing more you need to know, and even that is none of your concern.”
“But... I mean... Did he force you?” I asked, suddenly finding my footing in this very uncertain territory. My words became more sure as I realized what needed to be asked. “Did he hurt you?”
“I am right here,” Zechs mumbled, but we ignored him. This was between Wufei and I, and I had thought I would be rescuing him, but Wufei’s eyes suddenly turned fierce and angry, and I felt like I was the one in the wrong here. Like I had stepped over some kind of invisible boundary. All traces of sleep were suddenly gone from Wufei’s face, and he turned to face me squarely, his eyes ablaze.
“Don’t belittle this for me,” he growled, his tone almost making me step back. “I chose to sleep with Zechs, and he was an excellent lover. I can make my own choices, and I will deal with the consequences on my own. I don’t need you to save me, especially from a master who has never shown any aggression toward any of us. I don’t need you tainting this or any other encounter I might have with bad memories. Now, I’m only going to tell you this once: Stay out of it. This is none of your concern.”
I was frozen in place by those angry eyes and heated accusations. I had only been trying to help, but everything he had said was true. I was... I was using my own experiences to prejudice all other sexual experiences for anyone, and what right did I have to do that? I had been happy with a master before, and just because my happiness had been taken away didn’t give me the right to spoil it for the others. Was I truly such a bad person that I couldn’t allow others to find their happiness, when I had already had mine? Just because I hadn’t been strong enough to keep my happiness didn’t give me a right to take away theirs. I suddenly couldn’t look at Wufei, and turned my eyes away. I felt small... and dirty.
“Wufei,” Zechs soothed, pulling the smaller boy to lay against his chest. “That was far too harsh. Duo was only worried about you,” he said gently, and I saw Wufei’s eyes fall. Just like that, all the anger drained out of him and he was suddenly filled with remorse.
“I know...” he sighed softly, leaning into Zechs’ embrace. “I just... I was so happy before. I don’t want anyone, ever, to think badly about what we did. You were... wonderful. I want to keep that memory with me always, clean and untainted, no matter what happens. If... if something did happen, memories are all I know I can keep, no matter where I go, and no one can take them away. I just want to keep this one perfect, that’s all. I just... I’m sorry, Duo,” he said a little louder, turning to me. “I overreacted, and I shouldn’t have. I know you were just looking out for me. Can you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” I replied, trying to get my signature smile back on my face. “And I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions just because... well, anyway, sorry for walking in on you two. I’ll just be going now,” I said, then dodged out the door before they could say anything.
I wanted to run away. I wanted to get as much distance between us as I could. The edge of the yard might have been far enough, or I might have given in to temptation and ducked into the woods. I would have liked to run forever. I only made it to the den before my body gave out. I barely made it to the couch before I was too exhausted to go any further. If only my mind were as tired as my body, I thought morbidly. My body was too tired to move, but in my mind so many thoughts bounced around that it was impossible to grasp just one, and eventually I just closed my eyes and tried not to think.
It was several minutes later that I heard cautious footsteps in the hall approaching. I wasn’t surprised to see Zechs enter the room, his hair still mussed from sleep, his clothes wrinkled and disheveled, smelling of sweat and... Something I couldn’t think of without bringing out too many bad memories to control. Safe to say, he looked like anyone would expect him to look given the circumstances. He sat down in the chair across from me, close enough to speak but far enough to keep me from getting antsy. It was a larger space bubble than he usually allowed me, but he was well aware of how I reacted to sex, and the extra space was probably a wise precaution.
“Do you want to talk?” he asked quietly, neither demanding nor hesitating.
Did I? I needed to. I felt like my head was about to explode with everything inside. I needed to talk for days, until my tongue swelled up and my jaw fell off. But how could I? How could I tell him that I was jealous of what he and the others had found? How could I tell him that I was too afraid to let him get close enough to help me? How could I tell him that it hurt me to see them together, any of them, knowing that they had found their happiness, and I had lost mine? How could I tell him that I was weak, and broken, and that I hated him for what he was but I wanted what he had given the others all at the same time? How could I explain to him that I trusted him and feared my master, when they were both the same person? Yet I wanted to tell him, because the answers to these questions eluded even me, and maybe he could help me find the answers. Maybe just having someone else know what was going on would ease some of my pain.
But I was too afraid. Afraid that Zechs would turn out like all the other masters who had been kind for a while. Afraid that if I let him in it would be more painful when he threw me away, like all the others had. Afraid that if I let him see who I really was he wouldn’t want me any more, and I wouldn’t even be able to watch the others’ happiness, let alone seek my own. I was afraid of him, and I was afraid of myself.
“No,” I murmured sullenly, curling into myself.
“Are you sure? It’s alright to talk to me, you know. Or I could get one of the others, if you’d prefer.”
“No. I’m tired,” I told him, and it was true. I was tired and so very, very weary.
“Oh. Alright then. I’ll send Heero to wake you for dinner,” he said, then rose and left.
Alone, curled on the couch and miserable, all I wanted to do was to cry myself to sleep. But sleep came more quickly than my tears, so even that solace was lost to me.