Star Trek: Gundam
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Gundam Wing/AC › AU - Alternate Universe
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Category:
Gundam Wing/AC › AU - Alternate Universe
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
12
Views:
1,010
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
My co-author and I hold no copyrights to either Gundam Wing or the Trek-verse. No money is made from this. Only fun is had. Suing results in lint and unwanted siblings.
Episode Six: Attack of the Little Green Men
Title: Star Trek - Gundam Episode 6
Authors: JoIsBishMyoga (JWPname@aol.com) and Makoto Sagara (makoto_sagara1@yahoo.com)
Archive: afallenangel.net/makotosagara/frames/fanfiction.html, fanfiction.net, foreverfandom.net, wufeiduo.net, Ventilation Shaft, Le Ciel Place, Jadeduo’s site; anywhere else, please ask.
Pairings: 3x4, 5x2, eventual 1x2x5
Rating: R
Category: Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Action/Adventure
Warnings: Shonen-ai, Language, Crossover, AU
Disclaimers: Mako: Oh, we own nothing, not even our own places to live. We are only borrowing the G-boys and the Star Trek universe for play. We promise to return everything the way we found them. We make no money off of this. ^_^
Jo: Although we sure WISH we did... anyways, if you sue, you'll only be able to take the cat. That'll make my dad very happy, b/c she meows all night and scratches up the furniture.
A/N: Mako: Waiiiiii! My disk died, Jo-chan! *cries* And now, I have to wait for Duo-chan to send me back files… Mako sad onna right now. *checks email, blinks and then squeals* JO! WE GOT A REVIEW FROM ASKUA KURERU! *dies happily*
Jo: *faints dead away*
Mako: So, if we’re both dead, who’s gonna write this chapter?
Jo: *is looking for Asuka's email addy to reply* Shoot. She doesn't have one posted to her profile. You know what this means?
Mako: What? We go hunting/ begging Christy-kaa-san?
Jo: Nope! That would distract her from the next chapters of Rebuilding and DoJ. It means we put the replies here in the A/N's.
Mako: Works for me. As far as her proposal, I’m for it… I love the French… and her work is…. Breathtaking. One word, Garou.
Jo: 1. Woot! Asuka-sama! *fangirly squealing in stereo*
2. *Jo preens, since she did a lot of the G-boy species*
3. We're working very hard for the 1x2x5, but we agree that Heero needs to grow a personality. And to that bit of the comment: LOL!
4. We thought Mel&Christy-sama did that already?
5. G-girls are good. Why make up OCs when we have G-girls?
6. We have STG. You have Garou. I'm sure we can negotiate. ^_~.
7. We'd love to, but the whole threesome and same-sex thing is illegal in America (where we live). How's it in France?
Mako: Ooooh, these notes are a bit long…. Maybe we should give them some story to go with our self-congratulatory celebration? And, by the way, I *helped* assign the races, dammit!
Jo: Eh? Why? They don't come here for the STORY, do they?
Mako: Er, I think so…. So, here it is… Episode six!
Symbols: blah – either foreign (Klingon/Romulan) or off-screen speech
*blah* - emphasized word
*~*~*~* - Change of scene
~blah~ - sound effects
Cargo Bay, ship Gundam, 0418 hours.
Heero stood alone at a console, monitoring the Gundam's video feed of the docking bays holding their ship. Quatre had asked him to keep an eye out for Duo and Wufei, who had gone out to -- as Duo put it -- "get some R&R".
The computer databases had supplied Heero with several references for the strange term. These references included several businesses of ancient Earth, a game from the same era called "Monopoly", a nebula, a species of New Shironian bird (the "arenar"), and an acronym for "rest and relaxation".
Heero wasn't quite sure why it would take quite this many hours to buy a few birds.
0419 hours.
A commotion on the monitor drew Heero's attention. People were scattering, as phaser blasts shot through the bays. Near the head of the commotion, running quickly toward the Gundam's dock, were two easily recognizable figures; one a half-Klingon, the other a human with a long braid flying in his wake.
Heero's orders had been clear. "Watch for Duo and Wufei, please, Heero, and let them in when they get back?" Heero opened the Gundam's doors.
"IdunnowhytheresomadatusHeerogowakeupQuatreandTrowa, NOW! Weneedhelpreturningfire, ASAP!” Duo shouted, all the time shooting back at the men who were giving pursuit, while performing a perfect spinning roll that landed him inside the ship’s inner hall.
Wufei flung himself into the ship after Duo, nearly bouncing off the bulkhead as he spun and slapped the touchpad to close the door behind them. He didn't glance at Heero as he snarled, "Heero, green ones, enemy, open fire. Duo, engines."
Heero, having already keyed in the red alert code, switched the console over to the weapons systems.
Quickly, Duo jumped into action, ignoring the rising anger he felt at the commanding tone in Wufei’s voice. Instead, he concentrated on making his way to the engine room and heating up Solo for the bumpy ride ahead.
"Chang. Status," Heero asked.
Wufei took over the weapons console, not so politely elbowing Heero away. His voice was clipped as he tried to focus on using ship's phasers to lay cover fire with the delicate precision of hand-held weapons, to minimize damage to the port facilities and innocent -- well, uninvolved -- bystanders. "Orions, bar fight, they don't take losing very well. Call the Caput for assistance and disengage the docking clamps."
"Acknowledged," the ex-Borg replied, snapping into action to call upon the other ship. A few seconds later, Hilde’s sleepy voice was heard.
“Yes? What is it, Duo? If you’re about to tell me more about your sex life, couldn’t this wait until morning?” she said, her nearly whining tone grating on Wufei’s nerves.
"We are under Orion fire," Heero said flatly. "You will assist." He paused. "Refusal is futile."
Hilde’s cackle sounded throughout the ship for a few minutes. “Boy, Duo’s right. You’re not only cute, but ya got much potential. Well, I’ll tell you what, Bot-boy. I’m gonna go get Mariemaia, and we’ll help you out, but don’t make commanding me around an all the time thing, or you might find yourself missing some delicate circuitry next time we meet.” She cut the line, and Heero turned to keying in the codes to unlock the docking clamps.
The ship rocked before it was released, and Quatre and Trowa ran from their quarters, trying to find something to hold onto while they moved away from the docking station. “Situation,” Quatre snapped, losing his balance and falling on his rear as the ship tipped a bit to the left.
"We pissed off the Orions again," Wufei snapped, distracted still.
“How?!”
"They were hitting on Duo."
"Duo appears uninjured," Heero said.
Quatre’s ears reddened in anger before he calmed himself. “So, you two started a bar fight… yet again?” He turned to Heero. “They didn’t physically try to harm Duo. They made… advances upon his personage.”
"Orion ship is powering up," Heero said in response.
“’Fei, engines are ready to go any time now,” Duo said over the comm-link.
Trowa tapped at his console. "The thin portion of the nebula is between here and Klingon space, Captain," he announced. "We will be unable to divert towards Federation space without encountering patrols should we use it."
"Pull away from the station," Quatre ordered. "What if we went through the thicker parts of the nebula?"
"Probability of being caught by Orions or plasma storms: 99%. Probability of Gundam's destruction: 73%."
“Well, it’s not a hundred, Q,” Duo offered. “Besides, I think The Caput’s gonna help us… Somehow.”
Quatre nodded curtly. "Take the course through the thin part, Trowa." Trowa complied, and the Gundam surged away from the smuggling port.
Heero spoke up. "Orions in pursuit. Orions opening fire... missed, Captain."
"They aren't likely to be able to hit us once we get into the plasma, Captain," Wufei said grudgingly.
"They couldn't hit the broad side of a large M-class planet, anyways.”
"Caput is pulling away from the station," Heero said. "Caput is in pursuit. Caput is opening fire-- we're in the plasma. Scanners are blocked."
“Told you,” Duo said, before cutting the comm-link and heading back upstairs to the bridge. “Gotta love those girls, eh?”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
===Extra special commercial break====
*slightly slow-mo video of Treize Khushrenada walking along a corridor* My name is Treize Khushrenada, and I approved of this message.
*old black-and-white reel of slapstick fistfight* Some people seem to think fighting will get me out of office. I DON'T think so.
*reel sizzles into static, and clears up into high-quality anime footage. OZ's least-favorite prankster, joker, and exploder-of-bases appears onscreen. He tilts his head, staring into the camera in confusion*
Duo: Oops. I seem to have hacked into Khushy-bebi's commercial. It was a really silly one, too.
(*off screen*) Heero: That's what you always say.
Duo: Yeah, but it was saying we aren't going to win!
Heero: Five kids against an army of thousands of trained soldiers?
Duo: You're right. The odds DO suck... maybe we should give them a thirty-second head start next time we go raze one of their super-high-security bases to the ground?
*pause*
D&H: Nahhhhhhhhh.
*channel goes into static again*
===End===
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The Starship Gundam emerged from the A'sol nebula in the Romulan Empire. On the bridge, scanners came back online, and everyone breathed a quick sigh of relief. It had been a tense four hours, as Trowa piloted through the thinnest part of the nebula at an almost suicidal speed. No one knew if the Orions were still in pursuit... four hours was a long time, but Orions weren't known for giving up the chase that quickly.
"Reading an asteroid belt at bearings 34 79, mark 2," Heero said.
Quatre nodded sharply at Trowa. "Duck inside," he said.
No sooner had they come to a stop in the belt, than the Orion ship came barreling out of the plasma.
It was trailing a faint spray of gasses from its Bussard scoops, and had a long scorch mark along one flank -- it had obviously had less luck in navigating the nebula than the Gundam had. But it slowed, probably to run scans of the area and reorient itself.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” Duo shouted, running back down to engineering in case they needed any extra speed.
"Duo's assessment would be accurate, Captain," Trowa said calmly. "Orion ship will detect us within fifteen minutes."
"Even damaged, we'll have to work to outrun an Orion vessel," Quatre mussed aloud, trying to find an answer to their current problem.
"Captain, our weapons are an equal match to the Orion armaments. The outcome of a fight is uncertain," Wufei told him. "We cannot afford to lose," he added.
“Yes, yes, Wufei. I am fully aware of our current… situation,” Quatre snapped.
Silence reigned for a moment, punctuated only by electronic beeps as the crew checked and rechecked readouts.
"Ten minutes, Captain," Trowa announced quietly.
“Q, what’s going on up there? Do you need some extra speed?” Duo asked over the comm-link, the agitation in his voice mirrored throughout the rest of the crew.
Quatre glanced up towards the ceiling. "We don't know yet, Duo. We're sitting tight and waiting for a miracle, I think. Anything you could give us -- even a crazy idea, at this point -- would be welcome."
“I’d love to say I do, but we burned out those extra boosters last month, and I haven’t had a chance to get the parts...”
Quatre's brow furrowed. "I... see. Thank you, Duo."
Heero turned away from his console. "Captain, request permission to take pod 2 and a phaser rifle."
Quatre blinked. "What?"
"This unit will board the Orion vessel and eliminate engines and weapons systems."
“Dammit, Heero, you are *not* this unit. You are part of *my* crew!”
"Request permission to board Orion vessel and eliminate engines and weapons systems," Heero repeated.
"Heero! Do you know the likelihood that you'll come BACK?!"
Silence.
Trowa turned sharply in his chair. "Calculate probability of survival of unit 'Heero'," he ordered.
".... Non-zero," Heero replied, almost sullenly.
“No,” Quatre stated calmly. “I will *not* allow you to do that.”
“What the fuck is going on up there? Why are we just sitting here, like targets?” Duo yelled over the link.
"We're coming up with ideas," Wufei said. "The drone just had a useful one, but the Captain shot it down."
“What? Why?”
"Chang Wufei, you dishonorable CUR!" Quatre yelled. "He's a PERSON, not some expendable robot!"
Wufei jerked back as if stung.
“Tro, what’s going on? What is Q talking about?”
"If you were any other man, I would kill you where you stand," Wufei growled.
"If I were any other man, I wouldn't notice the dishonor--" Wufei hissed at the word "-- you just displayed! Get your head out of your ass and never let your jealousy issues interfere with your work AGAIN!"
“Fuck, am I like not getting through?! If you aren’t going to tell me what’s up, then can we *please* get back to the asshole Orions trying to KILL us?”
Quatre sizzled -- there was no other word for it -- angrily at Wufei for another moment, then visibly collected himself. "Orions. Right. Bring 'em on, if nothing else we can set me loose on them while Chang's broadcasting." He hissed the word through gritted teeth, then his eyes flicked over to Heero. "That was NOT literal, Heero; don't take it as any sort of endorsement of your plan. We all go down together, and we take out the bastards trying."
“Acknowledged,” the ex-Borg deadpanned, looking to the blond captain for the next step.
"Captain." Trowa's voice was dead. "Orion ship powering up."
“Quatre, what…”
“Duo, just shut up! I need to be able to *think*,” Quatre shouted into the comm before shutting it off.
"Captain, recommend taking the battle to them," Wufei tried, hands flying over his console. "Then return--" he refused to say 'retreat', "-- into this belt and hope Trowa can steer them into an asteroid. It will be a prolonged battle, but--"
"Unnecessary," Trowa, shockingly, interrupted. "Caput is emerging from the nebula. Firing on Orion ship--"
“I don’t know if I should be surprised or not,” Quatre muttered, his irritation dimming slightly.
“Captain, we are receiving an incoming transmission from the Caput.”
“On screen.”
“What the hell are you waiting for?” Mariemaia yelled at the Gundam’s crew. “Go.” She cut the transmission, as Trowa brought the ship's engines up to speed and warped out.
"Orion ship is disabled," Heero said flatly. "Orion ship powering up-- Orion ship retreating. Caput giving chase. Back into the nebula... off scanners, Captain."
Duo stormed onto the bridge, glaring daggers at the rest of the crew. “Fuck you, too, *Captain* Winner,” he spat, looking pointedly at Wufei afterwards. “Next time, just tell me what’s going on, so I know how I can *help* you.” He stalked off again, his anger radiating off of him in waves.
Wufei's hands clenched on his console. "Request permission to leave bridge," he said perfunctorily to Quatre, already halfway out the door.
Quatre sagged into his chair, feeling a *lot* easier now that they were out of danger and Wufei’s broadcasting mind had left him in peace. The bridge was much quieter and he could think clearly once again. He smiled weakly at Trowa’s questioning eyebrow. “I’m fine, Trowa. Just a slight headache.”
Trowa inclined his head. "It is likely that Duo will be able to 'straighten Wufei's head out', I believe is the phrase."
“I don’t doubt it, but I’m imagining the damage to their quarters in the meantime,” Quatre replied, smiling wider. “I’m rather grateful that I’m not Klingon or the mate of one…”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Fucking, no-good, uptight, bastard *captain*,” Duo snarled, banging a hand against the nearest wall. “I should freeze that Betazoid’s rooms for a week.”
"For being Betazoid?" Wufei inquired dryly from the doorway. "Since when are you racist?"
“I’m not,” the human replied hotly. “But… Just leave me alone, Wufei…”
"Heero volunteered to take a lifepod and a phaser rifle, and sabotage the Orion ship's engines and weapons banks."
“What? Is he insane?” Duo stopped, looking at the half-Klingon. “Is *that* what Q was so pissed about earlier?” He looked closely at the other. “What did you say?”
Wufei braced himself for the storm -- it was dishonorable to lie. "Good idea."
“Ass…” Duo hissed, turning so he didn’t have to look at Wufei. “Why?”
"I don't like him." Mostly. But... underneath the raging jealousy that Quatre couldn't help but know about, there was a hint, a tiny spark, which made the jealousy worse. No wonder he'd been broadcasting... "And I didn't think of it first."
“You’re jealous of him?!” Duo said, sighing. “Why? Because he beat you to the punch line, or because I think he’s *cute*?”
"I. Don't. Like. Him." Wufei corrected grimly. "Because... Yes. Because I can't tell if his offer shows a hint of honor buried under the soulless Borg, or just emptiness. Because he doesn't have the decency to care that he's hated. Because he's cu-- you think he's cute. And because he's a threat!"
Duo blinked, absorbing what his lover had just said, and slowly a smile crossed his face, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “*You* think he’s cute… Even if he’s a ‘threat’…” He started laughing uncontrollably, grabbing onto the nearest surface to keep his balance. “Oh, this is rich,” he managed between guffaws. “You’re… jealous… of a recently… found… Borg… because…oh…”
"I did NOT say that!"
“You don’t *have* to, Wufei. It’s written *all* over that sexy, scowling face of yours,” Duo replied, sobering immediately. “It’s kinda cute.”
Wufei growled, which sent shivers up and down Duo’s spine. The human slowly approached the other man, his eyes glazing over as he took in the sight before him. “’Fei, you have nothing to worry about. Heero… You might as well be jealous over a picture or something like that… Besides, I want *you*,” he purred, running one hand over the exposed skin that Wufei’s shirt showed. “Now…”
"Yes..." Wufei yanked Duo to him.
*~~~~~~~*
Quatre tensed in his chair on the bridge, blushing hotly. "Arrgh!" he yelled, suddenly hoarse. "They're broadcasting AGAIN!"
Authors: JoIsBishMyoga (JWPname@aol.com) and Makoto Sagara (makoto_sagara1@yahoo.com)
Archive: afallenangel.net/makotosagara/frames/fanfiction.html, fanfiction.net, foreverfandom.net, wufeiduo.net, Ventilation Shaft, Le Ciel Place, Jadeduo’s site; anywhere else, please ask.
Pairings: 3x4, 5x2, eventual 1x2x5
Rating: R
Category: Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Action/Adventure
Warnings: Shonen-ai, Language, Crossover, AU
Disclaimers: Mako: Oh, we own nothing, not even our own places to live. We are only borrowing the G-boys and the Star Trek universe for play. We promise to return everything the way we found them. We make no money off of this. ^_^
Jo: Although we sure WISH we did... anyways, if you sue, you'll only be able to take the cat. That'll make my dad very happy, b/c she meows all night and scratches up the furniture.
A/N: Mako: Waiiiiii! My disk died, Jo-chan! *cries* And now, I have to wait for Duo-chan to send me back files… Mako sad onna right now. *checks email, blinks and then squeals* JO! WE GOT A REVIEW FROM ASKUA KURERU! *dies happily*
Jo: *faints dead away*
Mako: So, if we’re both dead, who’s gonna write this chapter?
Jo: *is looking for Asuka's email addy to reply* Shoot. She doesn't have one posted to her profile. You know what this means?
Mako: What? We go hunting/ begging Christy-kaa-san?
Jo: Nope! That would distract her from the next chapters of Rebuilding and DoJ. It means we put the replies here in the A/N's.
Mako: Works for me. As far as her proposal, I’m for it… I love the French… and her work is…. Breathtaking. One word, Garou.
Jo: 1. Woot! Asuka-sama! *fangirly squealing in stereo*
2. *Jo preens, since she did a lot of the G-boy species*
3. We're working very hard for the 1x2x5, but we agree that Heero needs to grow a personality. And to that bit of the comment: LOL!
4. We thought Mel&Christy-sama did that already?
5. G-girls are good. Why make up OCs when we have G-girls?
6. We have STG. You have Garou. I'm sure we can negotiate. ^_~.
7. We'd love to, but the whole threesome and same-sex thing is illegal in America (where we live). How's it in France?
Mako: Ooooh, these notes are a bit long…. Maybe we should give them some story to go with our self-congratulatory celebration? And, by the way, I *helped* assign the races, dammit!
Jo: Eh? Why? They don't come here for the STORY, do they?
Mako: Er, I think so…. So, here it is… Episode six!
Symbols: blah – either foreign (Klingon/Romulan) or off-screen speech
*blah* - emphasized word
*~*~*~* - Change of scene
~blah~ - sound effects
Cargo Bay, ship Gundam, 0418 hours.
Heero stood alone at a console, monitoring the Gundam's video feed of the docking bays holding their ship. Quatre had asked him to keep an eye out for Duo and Wufei, who had gone out to -- as Duo put it -- "get some R&R".
The computer databases had supplied Heero with several references for the strange term. These references included several businesses of ancient Earth, a game from the same era called "Monopoly", a nebula, a species of New Shironian bird (the "arenar"), and an acronym for "rest and relaxation".
Heero wasn't quite sure why it would take quite this many hours to buy a few birds.
0419 hours.
A commotion on the monitor drew Heero's attention. People were scattering, as phaser blasts shot through the bays. Near the head of the commotion, running quickly toward the Gundam's dock, were two easily recognizable figures; one a half-Klingon, the other a human with a long braid flying in his wake.
Heero's orders had been clear. "Watch for Duo and Wufei, please, Heero, and let them in when they get back?" Heero opened the Gundam's doors.
"IdunnowhytheresomadatusHeerogowakeupQuatreandTrowa, NOW! Weneedhelpreturningfire, ASAP!” Duo shouted, all the time shooting back at the men who were giving pursuit, while performing a perfect spinning roll that landed him inside the ship’s inner hall.
Wufei flung himself into the ship after Duo, nearly bouncing off the bulkhead as he spun and slapped the touchpad to close the door behind them. He didn't glance at Heero as he snarled, "Heero, green ones, enemy, open fire. Duo, engines."
Heero, having already keyed in the red alert code, switched the console over to the weapons systems.
Quickly, Duo jumped into action, ignoring the rising anger he felt at the commanding tone in Wufei’s voice. Instead, he concentrated on making his way to the engine room and heating up Solo for the bumpy ride ahead.
"Chang. Status," Heero asked.
Wufei took over the weapons console, not so politely elbowing Heero away. His voice was clipped as he tried to focus on using ship's phasers to lay cover fire with the delicate precision of hand-held weapons, to minimize damage to the port facilities and innocent -- well, uninvolved -- bystanders. "Orions, bar fight, they don't take losing very well. Call the Caput for assistance and disengage the docking clamps."
"Acknowledged," the ex-Borg replied, snapping into action to call upon the other ship. A few seconds later, Hilde’s sleepy voice was heard.
“Yes? What is it, Duo? If you’re about to tell me more about your sex life, couldn’t this wait until morning?” she said, her nearly whining tone grating on Wufei’s nerves.
"We are under Orion fire," Heero said flatly. "You will assist." He paused. "Refusal is futile."
Hilde’s cackle sounded throughout the ship for a few minutes. “Boy, Duo’s right. You’re not only cute, but ya got much potential. Well, I’ll tell you what, Bot-boy. I’m gonna go get Mariemaia, and we’ll help you out, but don’t make commanding me around an all the time thing, or you might find yourself missing some delicate circuitry next time we meet.” She cut the line, and Heero turned to keying in the codes to unlock the docking clamps.
The ship rocked before it was released, and Quatre and Trowa ran from their quarters, trying to find something to hold onto while they moved away from the docking station. “Situation,” Quatre snapped, losing his balance and falling on his rear as the ship tipped a bit to the left.
"We pissed off the Orions again," Wufei snapped, distracted still.
“How?!”
"They were hitting on Duo."
"Duo appears uninjured," Heero said.
Quatre’s ears reddened in anger before he calmed himself. “So, you two started a bar fight… yet again?” He turned to Heero. “They didn’t physically try to harm Duo. They made… advances upon his personage.”
"Orion ship is powering up," Heero said in response.
“’Fei, engines are ready to go any time now,” Duo said over the comm-link.
Trowa tapped at his console. "The thin portion of the nebula is between here and Klingon space, Captain," he announced. "We will be unable to divert towards Federation space without encountering patrols should we use it."
"Pull away from the station," Quatre ordered. "What if we went through the thicker parts of the nebula?"
"Probability of being caught by Orions or plasma storms: 99%. Probability of Gundam's destruction: 73%."
“Well, it’s not a hundred, Q,” Duo offered. “Besides, I think The Caput’s gonna help us… Somehow.”
Quatre nodded curtly. "Take the course through the thin part, Trowa." Trowa complied, and the Gundam surged away from the smuggling port.
Heero spoke up. "Orions in pursuit. Orions opening fire... missed, Captain."
"They aren't likely to be able to hit us once we get into the plasma, Captain," Wufei said grudgingly.
"They couldn't hit the broad side of a large M-class planet, anyways.”
"Caput is pulling away from the station," Heero said. "Caput is in pursuit. Caput is opening fire-- we're in the plasma. Scanners are blocked."
“Told you,” Duo said, before cutting the comm-link and heading back upstairs to the bridge. “Gotta love those girls, eh?”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
===Extra special commercial break====
*slightly slow-mo video of Treize Khushrenada walking along a corridor* My name is Treize Khushrenada, and I approved of this message.
*old black-and-white reel of slapstick fistfight* Some people seem to think fighting will get me out of office. I DON'T think so.
*reel sizzles into static, and clears up into high-quality anime footage. OZ's least-favorite prankster, joker, and exploder-of-bases appears onscreen. He tilts his head, staring into the camera in confusion*
Duo: Oops. I seem to have hacked into Khushy-bebi's commercial. It was a really silly one, too.
(*off screen*) Heero: That's what you always say.
Duo: Yeah, but it was saying we aren't going to win!
Heero: Five kids against an army of thousands of trained soldiers?
Duo: You're right. The odds DO suck... maybe we should give them a thirty-second head start next time we go raze one of their super-high-security bases to the ground?
*pause*
D&H: Nahhhhhhhhh.
*channel goes into static again*
===End===
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The Starship Gundam emerged from the A'sol nebula in the Romulan Empire. On the bridge, scanners came back online, and everyone breathed a quick sigh of relief. It had been a tense four hours, as Trowa piloted through the thinnest part of the nebula at an almost suicidal speed. No one knew if the Orions were still in pursuit... four hours was a long time, but Orions weren't known for giving up the chase that quickly.
"Reading an asteroid belt at bearings 34 79, mark 2," Heero said.
Quatre nodded sharply at Trowa. "Duck inside," he said.
No sooner had they come to a stop in the belt, than the Orion ship came barreling out of the plasma.
It was trailing a faint spray of gasses from its Bussard scoops, and had a long scorch mark along one flank -- it had obviously had less luck in navigating the nebula than the Gundam had. But it slowed, probably to run scans of the area and reorient itself.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” Duo shouted, running back down to engineering in case they needed any extra speed.
"Duo's assessment would be accurate, Captain," Trowa said calmly. "Orion ship will detect us within fifteen minutes."
"Even damaged, we'll have to work to outrun an Orion vessel," Quatre mussed aloud, trying to find an answer to their current problem.
"Captain, our weapons are an equal match to the Orion armaments. The outcome of a fight is uncertain," Wufei told him. "We cannot afford to lose," he added.
“Yes, yes, Wufei. I am fully aware of our current… situation,” Quatre snapped.
Silence reigned for a moment, punctuated only by electronic beeps as the crew checked and rechecked readouts.
"Ten minutes, Captain," Trowa announced quietly.
“Q, what’s going on up there? Do you need some extra speed?” Duo asked over the comm-link, the agitation in his voice mirrored throughout the rest of the crew.
Quatre glanced up towards the ceiling. "We don't know yet, Duo. We're sitting tight and waiting for a miracle, I think. Anything you could give us -- even a crazy idea, at this point -- would be welcome."
“I’d love to say I do, but we burned out those extra boosters last month, and I haven’t had a chance to get the parts...”
Quatre's brow furrowed. "I... see. Thank you, Duo."
Heero turned away from his console. "Captain, request permission to take pod 2 and a phaser rifle."
Quatre blinked. "What?"
"This unit will board the Orion vessel and eliminate engines and weapons systems."
“Dammit, Heero, you are *not* this unit. You are part of *my* crew!”
"Request permission to board Orion vessel and eliminate engines and weapons systems," Heero repeated.
"Heero! Do you know the likelihood that you'll come BACK?!"
Silence.
Trowa turned sharply in his chair. "Calculate probability of survival of unit 'Heero'," he ordered.
".... Non-zero," Heero replied, almost sullenly.
“No,” Quatre stated calmly. “I will *not* allow you to do that.”
“What the fuck is going on up there? Why are we just sitting here, like targets?” Duo yelled over the link.
"We're coming up with ideas," Wufei said. "The drone just had a useful one, but the Captain shot it down."
“What? Why?”
"Chang Wufei, you dishonorable CUR!" Quatre yelled. "He's a PERSON, not some expendable robot!"
Wufei jerked back as if stung.
“Tro, what’s going on? What is Q talking about?”
"If you were any other man, I would kill you where you stand," Wufei growled.
"If I were any other man, I wouldn't notice the dishonor--" Wufei hissed at the word "-- you just displayed! Get your head out of your ass and never let your jealousy issues interfere with your work AGAIN!"
“Fuck, am I like not getting through?! If you aren’t going to tell me what’s up, then can we *please* get back to the asshole Orions trying to KILL us?”
Quatre sizzled -- there was no other word for it -- angrily at Wufei for another moment, then visibly collected himself. "Orions. Right. Bring 'em on, if nothing else we can set me loose on them while Chang's broadcasting." He hissed the word through gritted teeth, then his eyes flicked over to Heero. "That was NOT literal, Heero; don't take it as any sort of endorsement of your plan. We all go down together, and we take out the bastards trying."
“Acknowledged,” the ex-Borg deadpanned, looking to the blond captain for the next step.
"Captain." Trowa's voice was dead. "Orion ship powering up."
“Quatre, what…”
“Duo, just shut up! I need to be able to *think*,” Quatre shouted into the comm before shutting it off.
"Captain, recommend taking the battle to them," Wufei tried, hands flying over his console. "Then return--" he refused to say 'retreat', "-- into this belt and hope Trowa can steer them into an asteroid. It will be a prolonged battle, but--"
"Unnecessary," Trowa, shockingly, interrupted. "Caput is emerging from the nebula. Firing on Orion ship--"
“I don’t know if I should be surprised or not,” Quatre muttered, his irritation dimming slightly.
“Captain, we are receiving an incoming transmission from the Caput.”
“On screen.”
“What the hell are you waiting for?” Mariemaia yelled at the Gundam’s crew. “Go.” She cut the transmission, as Trowa brought the ship's engines up to speed and warped out.
"Orion ship is disabled," Heero said flatly. "Orion ship powering up-- Orion ship retreating. Caput giving chase. Back into the nebula... off scanners, Captain."
Duo stormed onto the bridge, glaring daggers at the rest of the crew. “Fuck you, too, *Captain* Winner,” he spat, looking pointedly at Wufei afterwards. “Next time, just tell me what’s going on, so I know how I can *help* you.” He stalked off again, his anger radiating off of him in waves.
Wufei's hands clenched on his console. "Request permission to leave bridge," he said perfunctorily to Quatre, already halfway out the door.
Quatre sagged into his chair, feeling a *lot* easier now that they were out of danger and Wufei’s broadcasting mind had left him in peace. The bridge was much quieter and he could think clearly once again. He smiled weakly at Trowa’s questioning eyebrow. “I’m fine, Trowa. Just a slight headache.”
Trowa inclined his head. "It is likely that Duo will be able to 'straighten Wufei's head out', I believe is the phrase."
“I don’t doubt it, but I’m imagining the damage to their quarters in the meantime,” Quatre replied, smiling wider. “I’m rather grateful that I’m not Klingon or the mate of one…”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Fucking, no-good, uptight, bastard *captain*,” Duo snarled, banging a hand against the nearest wall. “I should freeze that Betazoid’s rooms for a week.”
"For being Betazoid?" Wufei inquired dryly from the doorway. "Since when are you racist?"
“I’m not,” the human replied hotly. “But… Just leave me alone, Wufei…”
"Heero volunteered to take a lifepod and a phaser rifle, and sabotage the Orion ship's engines and weapons banks."
“What? Is he insane?” Duo stopped, looking at the half-Klingon. “Is *that* what Q was so pissed about earlier?” He looked closely at the other. “What did you say?”
Wufei braced himself for the storm -- it was dishonorable to lie. "Good idea."
“Ass…” Duo hissed, turning so he didn’t have to look at Wufei. “Why?”
"I don't like him." Mostly. But... underneath the raging jealousy that Quatre couldn't help but know about, there was a hint, a tiny spark, which made the jealousy worse. No wonder he'd been broadcasting... "And I didn't think of it first."
“You’re jealous of him?!” Duo said, sighing. “Why? Because he beat you to the punch line, or because I think he’s *cute*?”
"I. Don't. Like. Him." Wufei corrected grimly. "Because... Yes. Because I can't tell if his offer shows a hint of honor buried under the soulless Borg, or just emptiness. Because he doesn't have the decency to care that he's hated. Because he's cu-- you think he's cute. And because he's a threat!"
Duo blinked, absorbing what his lover had just said, and slowly a smile crossed his face, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “*You* think he’s cute… Even if he’s a ‘threat’…” He started laughing uncontrollably, grabbing onto the nearest surface to keep his balance. “Oh, this is rich,” he managed between guffaws. “You’re… jealous… of a recently… found… Borg… because…oh…”
"I did NOT say that!"
“You don’t *have* to, Wufei. It’s written *all* over that sexy, scowling face of yours,” Duo replied, sobering immediately. “It’s kinda cute.”
Wufei growled, which sent shivers up and down Duo’s spine. The human slowly approached the other man, his eyes glazing over as he took in the sight before him. “’Fei, you have nothing to worry about. Heero… You might as well be jealous over a picture or something like that… Besides, I want *you*,” he purred, running one hand over the exposed skin that Wufei’s shirt showed. “Now…”
"Yes..." Wufei yanked Duo to him.
*~~~~~~~*
Quatre tensed in his chair on the bridge, blushing hotly. "Arrgh!" he yelled, suddenly hoarse. "They're broadcasting AGAIN!"