The Book of Shin

A momentary digression, if you will. . .

Researchers into the area of human nature have long wondered just what the hell a kiss was. In recent years, the popular explanation is that the kiss is a form of bio-chemical communication wherein one party tastes the saliva of the other to determine their health, and thus their genetic desirability. This, to the scientists, explains why kissing is such an integral part of foreplay.

Those who hold with this view are partly right. The kiss is communication. But the biological aspects were merely an added bonus that came when souls and minds were clothed in carbon. That’s right, kisses existed before the physical. Not in a way that you might recognize, but individual consciousnesses had to have some way to communicate. So they would touch, and ideas would pass between them. When they took on physicality, this way of communication was impossible, as the carbon molecules tended to form very tough barriers. But a close alternative was discovered. You see, the ancients were right when they wrote about the close affinity between the breath and the soul. When two people kiss, they share breath, and through the breath, their very souls are given the chance to touch. According to the mythology of a great part of the Middle East, it is this very act that brings life to both Adam and Eve.

What, did you think He blew the Breath of Life up their noses?

So one tastes more than saliva when one kisses another. When used properly- there are people who will abuse anything- one tastes the soul of the other. And in tasting, one offers up one’s own soul, one’s own life, for the taking.

It is for this reason that there is such a great variety in the messages a kiss can give. From “I don’t care about you, I just wanna fuck,” to “I love you more than life,” to “leave me and I’ll effing die.”

The kiss that Gohan used to pin me against the wall of the shaft was a kiss of desperate loyalty. It said something along the lines of, “Oh shit, this is worse than I expected, you knew what you were talking about all along, I’m in waaaaay over my head, my life is yours to do with as you will and sweet God almighty I love you so much!”

Yes, there was tongue. There was most definitely. . .

There were spots in my vision before we came up for air, but the creaking in my ribs informed me that this was small improvement.

“Shh, Gohan,” I ran my finger through his hair, “Relax, let me breathe, we’ve still got a chance, just relax . . .”

Slowly, his hold loosened, and he drew back a little to look at me in the faint light that filtered down to us.

“I suppose we’d better get down there.” He murmured. “Before we lose that chance.”

I took his hand as we started down again. “That’s okay.” I said. “We probably gave Dabura and Babidi a nice little show.”

“What?!”

“Someday, Gohan, I’ve got to show you how to skry .”

* * *

At long last, we reached the bottom of the ship, and beheld the pod that held Buu. A shudder ran through me as I noticed the pulsating veins around its base and the steadily rising ki around it. Strangely, it reminded me of a giant chestnut. A big, very ugly, very dangerous, chestnut.

“So that’s Buu’s pod?” Gohan asked sotto voce.

“Yup.”

“Looks kinda like a big ugly chestnut.”

“I kinda thought so, too.”

“So how do we destroy it?”

I looked up at him. “Well, you’re the demolitions expert. . . “

He returned the look, “Well, you are the supreme deity of this universe. . . “

Our banter, light and tinged with desperation, was rudely cut off by the high-pitched shriek that Babidi tried to pass off as laughter. Together, he and Dabura came out from behind the pod, looking all smug and melodramatic.

“You can’t destroy it!” he cackled. “And Buu will be ready to hatch very soon!”

“Gohan,” I said. “That slavering moron is mine. You can fight Dabura.”

“Again?”

“It’s only fair,” I replied. “It’s the whole ‘pick-on-somebody-your-own-size’ principle.”

“Hn.” He grunted. “I suppose you’ve got a point.” He settled into a fighting stance, ready to go. But the worm opened its mouth again.

“If you fight here, it’ll only hatch Buu faster, and we’ll all be trapped here when he wakes. Why don’t we move to someplace more comfortable?” One brief incantation, and we all, including the pod, were back above the surface.

Gohan and Dubura continued to stare at each other like rabid dogs as Babidi continued to spout some unremarkable drivel. I could see the wheels turning in Gohan’s head, but I doubted he’d think of something in a few minutes that I hadn’t thought of in several millennia. We both watched as the dials turned, evidence of just how powerful Goku and Vegeta had gotten. At this rate. . .

Right at that moment alarms started to go off, dial needles entering red areas. Gohan, bright boy that he is, knew exactly what that meant, and kinda lost his head for a moment there.

“No!” he cried. “It’s not too late! It can’t be!” And let loose a kamahameha, followed by a masenko, a final flash, and a flurry of destructo disks. It was quite impressive, all the dancing lights, explosions, and raw energy.

All to no avail, as the pod merely bounced off the earth twice, rolled, stood still for a moment, and cracked open.

Pink vapor flowed out of the pod, forcing it to open further. But when the steam dissipated, we saw the pod was. . . empty.

Where the hell was Buu?

I started taunting Babidi, not because I actually believed we were safe, but because it was obvious that the maggot couldn’t feel the power gathering in the sky, and I figured, ah, what the hell, look at his ugly face.

But even futile gloating can only last so long, and the pink clouds which- allow me one moment, but pink clouds look really gay. I would know, right? And I think it safe to say that pink clouds look gayer than a Saiya-jin family reunion, even gayer than Vegeta in drag. Don’t you agree? Sorry, had to get that off my chest.

Anyway, the fruity pink clouds soon coalesced into the childlike, rotund-ness of Buu. I was surprised he was still so tubby, after all those years of isolation, but that’s magic for you.

He wasn’t what Babidi expected. And I know this because the maggot was proclaiming it at the top of his little lungs. Stupid mage. How anyone could get as accomplished as he without a little more intelligence. . . oh yeah, his father. Nevermind.

But Buu just walked around. Gohan wasn’t sure what to do. We could both feel his power, and we weren’t sure that we wanted to provoke him. But the other two. . . didn’t have a clue. They just kept insulting him, obviously disappointed.

But Buu is a sensitive fellow, and didn’t take the insults for long. As we watched, Dabura made some comment about Buu’s incredible girth, and then began deliberately taunting him. Buu stood still, then scowled, steam beginning to shoot out from the holes in his head. Dabura continued, egged on by Babidi, and Buu finally cracked and smacked the Demon King hard. Right over the horizon.

The surprised Babidi was overjoyed, and immediately ordered Buu to do the same to us. Gohan had the presence of mind to grab me and flee as I struggled with my despair induced shock. But, alas, he wasn’t fast enough, and he pulled to a quick stop as the pink blob appeared before us. Growling, he thrust me behind him, trying to protect me. It was sweet, endearing, and useless. Buu batted him aside like an annoying fly.

“Gohan!” I cried out, watching as his falling form dwindled into nothing. I turned back to Buu, angry at both him and myself. Him for hurting my Gohan, me for not being able to stop him. Gathering my power, I pushed at him, but to little effect. I had used this method to prevent galaxies from colliding in the past, but it hardly moved him at all. I was already scared, but at this, my mouth went dry, and I think my stomach dropped out from my toes.

I didn’t even see the blow that knocked me out of the sky. One minute I was in the air, the next the earth had risen to give me a crushing embrace. I was so jarred it was everything I could do to keep my physical form intact. I think I was dead for a couple of minutes, as I struggled to keep to stars at the edge of everything burning without completely dissolving into the ether.

As I struggled, I was dimly aware of things still happening on earth. Buu had been about to finish me off when Dabura came back and skewered him. But Dabura soon turned into a cookie, and was digested.

Then Vegeta showed up out of nowhere, or rather, out of the burning rubble that had been Babidi’s ship. They fought for a while, bruising punches and searing energy. But it soon became clear that Buu had the upperhand, and once he’d wrapped Vegeta up in his own self, began kicking the crap out of him. I wanted to help, but at that point, it would have cost several solar systems, and I wasn’t ready to risk that. I’m too much of a sentimentalist.

But I did notice that Babidi had never had that much control over Vegeta, and now seemed to have none. And if Babidi had no more control over Vegeta, that must mean that there was nothing left to control. What had happened to the evil?

Goten and Trunks came to the rescue, taking Buu by surprise. They unwrapped the elder prince, who opened his eyes to see his golden haired son smiling down at him. He quickly rose to his feet, the only acceptable position for a Saiya-jin in battle. The children babbled on as he cast his gaze to the horizon.

I didn’t hear the words he said as he embraced his son, but I heard Goten’s accusations when Trunks fell down into the dust. The Son soon followed, golden hair bleeding black.

And then Piccolo touched down, and picked the two up.

Piccolo, you live . . .

“You’re going to die, you know.” He rumbled.

“Yes,” Vegeta replied. “I know. You keep them safe for me.”

“Of course.” Piccolo lifted into the air, about to leave.

“Wait,” said Vegeta. “I would know something.”

Piccolo paused, waiting.

“When I die, will I see that baka Kakkarotto?”

Oh, Vegeta. . . .

“No.” Piccolo sighed. “He has always lived for others. I don’t think you can say the same.”

Vegeta looked at the ground, then back at Piccolo, a wan smile on his face. “So be it.” He murmured. “Go, get out of here, I hear him returning.”

A last glance exchanged, and then Piccolo fled. I made a mental note to talk to someone in the bureaucracy and make sure Piccolo was proved wrong.

Then I too heard Buu’s approach. I found I could now move my fingers without distant stars fading in and out, but little more. Vegeta began drawing in power, making sure that Buu’s attention was focused solely on him.

The sky drew dark, lightning split the heavens as earthquakes rocked the earth. There was a scream, a roar of defiance, and then light poured out over everything as Vegeta went supernova, burning into my eyes, bleaching the stones and dust in an instant.

And then he was no more, and the world went silent.