A Night at the Office
A Night at the Office
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A
Night at the Office
The chair hit the wall with a
frightening crash, shattering the glass on a framed reproduction print Lady
had
had always been fond of. She winced, closing her eyes tightly and ducked a
little even though she was on the other side of the room and in no danger of
being hit. The papers she held in her hand remained in her firm grasp, while
the man who had thrown open the door and flung the chair in anger began walking
to and fro in front of her. His gait was not quite balanced and not quite
wobbly as he paced like an enraged lion ready to attack. Slowly, Lady Une
opened her eyes and regarded him for less than two seconds. Then her eyes
turned to the window through which nothing but darkness came through. It was
night, after hours, and she was completely alone. Of course he would come after
hours. He knew she would be there. Where else could she possibly be?
He stopped. She felt him out of the
corner of her eye. His stillness was a bad sign that made the air vibrate a
little more with the danger of his anger. Any calm from him would indicate that
an explosion of violence was not far behind it. And still, Lady Une looked at
the night air that was hanging indifferently out the window, wishing she could
be so indifferent. She smelled the air, taking in a deep draft of it, catching
the scent and knew instantly. Lady Une raised her chin, trying to keep the
contempt from her face so as not to further antagonize him. He was just staring
at her with his lips parted as if he was seeing all one color and couldn’t
account for it.
“You are drunk again, Zechs” She
muttered, turning her back to him and walking around the mess of the chair and
picture to her desk. Her papers carried a little crinkled thumb print from
where she had held them so tightly.
“You firer!” r!” Zechs spat out
accusingly.
“Indeed.”
“Why?” Zechs advanced on her. He
walked to face her on the opposite side of the desk. Even as she sat down his
arms braced the sides of the desk.
“You know why, and so does Noin. I
need Preventers who are going to do their jobs. Not sneak off every chance they
get to please their paramours.”
“Paramour? Is that what you think I
am to her?”
always quick to frustrate her. “I could care less what you are to her, Zechs. I
have never cared and I have never understood why that infuriates you so much.” This
wasn’t the first time they had had this type of confrontation. Lady Une knew it
wouldn’t be the last one either. She was re-treading dangerous waters with
little fear. Zechs leaned in, hisath ath pungent with the spice of vodka, his
drink of choice when he was upset.
“I am not drunk.” He responded to
her statement of a few moments ago.
“Please, Zechs, when are you not
drunk?” Lady Une was no fool when it came to Milliardo Peacecraft and the
bottle. He was a man of infinite addictions. When war was not available to
answer his need, he turned to the drink. Zechs knew this too, but would never
admit it to her. Lady Une had always been the one to speak plainly about his
every flaw and he hated her for it. His hands sought the support of the desk a
little more as his balance began wavering again. She would not help him, they
both knew that. If he fell and couldn’t get back up, she would leave him there.
She had always just left him there>
>
Lady Une was not looking at him. Instead
she pretended to go through her papers. Zechs could sense her concentration deepening.
In a few minutes he would not even exist to her and she would carry on as if
there were no disturbance. He knew this tactic of hers well. They both were
well schooled in it. It was what allowed them to work side by side and not go
mad. At one time, he had perfected this strategy, and thus, he knew how to
counter it. As Zechs’ balance returned so did his rage at the situation. He
wasn’t going to be ignored by her anymore. With a crisp swing he reached across
the desk. His open hand connected with the side of her face and she was knocked
right out of the chair. She made a muffled sound as she was struck and her head
hit the side of the desk in falling. An immense pleasure crested through Zechs
at seeing her go down. Her hand stopped her from completely collapsing on the
ground. Glass from the broken picture pierced her palm. There was silence for a
few seconds save for the sound of Zechs enflamed breathing and Lady Une’s
audible astonishment. But they didn’t say anything nor did they move. Finally,
Lady Une let whatever part of her body still remained in the chair slide off to
the ground and out of Zechs’ immediate sight. He moved around the side of the
desk to see what he had wrought. She was sitting with her legs to the side.
There was blood on the bare legs that were uncovered by her skirt, nicked here
and there by little shards of glass. Her head was down and her face was hidden
by her brown hair, which was shorter now than he had ever known it to be. She
was still unmoving and Zechs’ anger swelled again with the idea that she was
still trying to block him out and make him obsolete and invisible.
Again, Zechs moved forward, but she
moved before he could summon enough anger to accost her a second time. Slowly,
her hand came up and wiped the side of her face. She raised her hand and her
head to show the blood on both. Her fingers had a smattering of blood from
where the desk had cut her above the left eyebrow.
“You finally had the courage to hit
me. I never thought you would actually do it.” The blood did nothing to calm
him, but he didn’t move on her again.
p>
“Why do you make me do it?” He
said, almost shocked that such a question had come from his mouth.
“What do you want me to say, Zechs?
That I fired her because of you? That I could no longer stand the thought of
you and Noin? Damn it, Zechs, you know that’s not the reason. Noin has become
obsessed and her work has taken a back seat to pleasing you. Our work here is
important! I need dedication in this department. The fact that it is you she is
trying to please is irrelevant to me.
She could be obsessing over a dead man and I would still have had to
dismiss her.”
“Obsessed with ad mad man? Doesn’t
that sound familiar?” He said bitterly.
“Please, Zechs.” She replied with
equal bitterness, slowly rising. “Don’t flatter yourself by thinking you know
how I feel about things. The record between us shows you have long ignored any
clue I have given you about my feelings” Her good hand held the corner of the
desk that had wounded her and she pulled her body up with one smooth motion.
Once aloft, she wobbled and staggered forward slightly. Zechs shot out the
catch her, taking her body into his own uncertain balance. She grunted in
frustration at having to accept his help.
“Let go of me!” She whispered
harshly. There was a struggle for all of three seconds as she tried to flail
away from him. He caught her hand and only succeeded in pushing the glass
further into her palm. She yelped and he caught her around the neck with his
arm, holding her bloodied hand away from their bodies.
“You forget how this works. You are
the one who lets me fall, not the other way around. Remember?” he rasped out
next to her temple. With a quick movement he released her head and held her
wrist hard. Zechs dragged Lady Une over to the small couch on the far side of
the room where she had been when he first burst in. She fought him ever step of
the way but was thoroughly outmatched by Zechs’ strength. He made her sit down
while he held her wrist tight enough to staunch the blood flow. It was hurting
her, but he knew she could take pain. Zechs sat down with her and held her firmly
enough that she couldn’t move or resist any further. Carefully, he plu a
a
few large glass shards from her palm and tossed them aside. She bit her lip as
he worked and gasped when he let go of her wrist and the blood came rushing
back out of the wound. Lady Une yanked her arm away from him and cradled her
wounded hand. Zechs turned to watch her and the way she recoiled from him. They
were both a wreck now. His coat was half hanging off of him, his hair rumpled
and he looked all around disheveled. The desire for another drink would beat
against his head when he sensed how much she wanted him gone. The flames in his
blood started to die down. An old hopelessness was dousing them. He let his
head hang back against the back of the couch and he closed his eyes, sighing.
“Why do you have to drink?” She
finally asked. He saw her holding her wounded hand, still breathing heavily,
with a pained brow and shut eyes.
“God, Zechs. You have to stop
this.” Her tone was pleading and she was shaking her head slowly. Zechs almost
expected her to begin weeping. He wasn’t going to address this, not with her.
“You shouldn’t have fired her,
Lady. I need her here.” He answered, rubbing his hands over his face and
leaning forward to brace his arms on his knees. Lady Une opened her eyes and
looked at him, pressing her thumb against her palm.
“It’s hard to explain. She just . .
. She needs to be away from me sometimes.”
“She loves you.”
He was silent for many moments, but
she knew it had not been the reply he wanted to hear. Noin’s love was like his alcoholism;
something Zechs’ could not kick or rid himself of.
“Is it still bleeding?” he abruptly
asked. Lady Une lifted her thumb and
displayed her palm. The blood had clotted, making her life line thick and ruddy.
“I’m sorry” he murmured”
Lady Une almost chuckled. “No you
aren’t. The next time you have an excuse you’ll be back here and you’ll do this
all over again.”
Zechs’ fury suddenly reappeared. He
was up and in front of her in a moment. He splayed his hands at his sides in a
gesture of enraged despair before her.
“I can’t help it!” or he just
wouldn’t help it.
“You need to stop this, Zechs. This
is just another one of your addictions. I can’t feed it anymore.” She raised
her eyes to his and she finally saw it there, that old hopelessness that seeped
into his face and made her spirit sink.
“There has to be something, Lady,
something that can keep me going. The war is over. There are no more fights to
be had. There is only Noin now and . . . What do you want me to do?” He became
eerily still as if remembering something that replayed frequently before his
mind’s eye. It seemed to always come down to that question that neither would
answer. What do you want me to do?
the war. At least the vodka doesn’t pretend I don’t exist.” Sluggishly, he went
down on his knees to be level with her as she struggled to call up some
patience with him and with her own Zechs-inspired depression.
“Zechs, I understand escapes.” Lady
Une held his eyes for the time she spoke and he didn’t move to interrupt her.
The hopelessness in his eyes had moved her as it had always moved her. She
swallowed hard. “He was an escape for
me, Zechs. I had to get away and forget what happened with us. Treize allowed
me to do that. I found something with him that let me escape. I found with him
something to love and I clung to it. It dulled the memory.”
Zechs took up her hand. It was cold
and he rubbed gently to warm it again. He lifted it to his mouth and kissed the
knuckles. She didn’t pull away but neither did she seem to enjoy it. He kept it
up for several minutes, just brushing his lips up and down the back of her
fingers. He didn’t do it for her. It was purely for him, to feed another insistent
need. Lady Une stopped him by putting
her hands on the sides of his face and speaking emphatically.
“Zechs, promise me you will stop
drinking. It is going to end up killing you if you don’t stop. I’ve heard Noin
talking about it. I know it’s gotten worse and worse since . . .” she
hesitated.
“Since the wars ended. I need
something, Lady, and Noin will not do. I cannot love her. She is too sacred.
Her body is hallowed ground to me, and I will not tread there. That’s why she
has become obsessed. She never relents and never leaves because she wants to
make me love her. I will not desecrate her but I cannot simply leave her. Noin
has given too much of herself for me to just toss her aside. I can’t leave her
because of it, and I can’t love her because of it. That’s why I need her here
and away from me. Because I know I will eventually give in and I must never do
that. It can’t be that way with her.” He tugged on her arm to pull her toward
him and his voice dropped to a predatory level. “It can only be that way with
you.” With that spoken, he now acted upon his true intent and seized her head
between his hands. His tongue shot out and licked at the thickened blood at her
eyebrow. Lady Une’s slackened her body and leaned forward. She seemed not to
submit, but merely break down.
Zechs’ mouth worked its will upon her brow. He didn’t stop as he answered.
“No, you’re a knife I can’t keep
from stabbing myself with. You kill me when I need to die. Only you can do it,
because when it is done you will just go back to ignoring my existence as you
have always done. You can put me back in my place and make me so angry that
I’ll bind myself to Noin.”
Zechs was holding her upper arm so
tightly she felt her arm start to go numb. A hard kiss went on her mouth, one
that was all about taking. She knew the rhythm of his kisses. They would begin
demanding and after a while become pleading when she didn’t give in. Lady Une
didn’t like being a sustaining agent to anyone, Treize or any other man. She
respected Noin, but that was no reason to go through with this. Zechs’ hands
came off her arms now to delicately cup her chin and his lips became
beseeching, begging for a response. “Please” he breathed against her mouth.
“Please, I won’t drink. Please”
Lady Une accepted his kiss then,
not exactly sure why she did so. It was important to her
wasn’t the reason she was letting this happen. She rolled her head to the side
and he attacked her neck. The smell of his hair drifted through her as it brushed
the side of her face. A single hand was placed uncertainly on his shoulder.
Zechs’ euphoria permeated the area. He could feel it rising as if he had just consumed
a pint and it was warming his frozen blood. Lady Une could feel it too. She
could feel the drug taking its hold and she cringed, knowing that this would be
the death of him someday. But still, she craned her neck and allowed him to
pull down her blouse to her breasts. In the end she could only use the old
reasoning for allowing this to go on; that her memory was too dulled and she
needed to remember him again. After all, Une had used escapes too. She had admitted
it. She had left him and escaped into Treize, into a war, and finally into
herself, so that she might forget him. She couldn’t ask him to abandon his form
of forgetfulness and still use her own. Her memory reared, filled with his face
and those far off nights, the nights that still drove him back to her now. Denying
what had been and what still was would not help her now. Zechs would keep doing
this. There were no more wars and no more Treize to take refuge with. And it
would feel good to finally stop running.
Hesitation was finally abandoned
and her arms suddenly went around him tightly, embracing his shoulders and
neck. Zechs stilled his caresses and there was a quiet moment, filled with the
old feeling, the one that drove him to drink and rage and drove her to work and
to numbness.
“We are so young.” She whimpered on
his shoulder. It was the only way she could convey the hopelessness of their
situation. Zechs nodded against her hair. He knew when he walked in the door
that this was why he had come. They had both known that this was only another
attempt to keep alive that which was condemned to have no second chance. Lady
Une slipped the jacket off his shoulders and he let it fall to the ground. Her
fingers ran up and down the black cotton material of his t-shirt and petted his
hair. Without any sensual rush, they undressed each other, almost clinically.
Zechs rose, resplendent in his nakedness. He locked the office door and turned
off the lamp. Only the light from the hallway peaking under the door and that
of the security lights burning through the one-way office window illuminated
Zechs as he came back to her. She lay back on the office sofa as he reached
her. They resumed their smile-less ceremony with kisses and caresses that were
at first less about arousal than simply remembering what to do with each other.
It was heatless, almost cold and distinctly individual; Zechs lost in the
rapture of his old love drug; Lady Une struggling to recall how to administer
it to herself along with him.
The physical soon took precedence
as the wandering kisses and strokes awoke their bodies and pushed away their
minds. Zech’s tongue delved into her navel as his fingers rediscovered the
folds of her body. She stretched up her arms above her head like a cat, arching
her back towards him, feeling younger with each stroke of his fingers. Zechs
murmured against her skin, whispering inaudible phrases of possession and memory.
Lady Une dropped one leg on the floor to give him better access to her
womanhood. Within seconds Zechs was lifting the other leg to his mouth, licking
the little blod nid nicks he found there. She was starting to feel the rising need
and reached for him. Her hand could only find his knee and thigh and so she
grasped that, letting him know that she wasn’t ignoring him now. Zechs felt the
gesture and came down to her, moving his fingers in a slightly different pattern
as she squirmed beneath him and bestowed small wet kisses on his lips. He
waited until she went rigid and released a strangled cry before he let his
tongue slip into her mouth. It was a consuming kiss that tasted of liquor. She
came quickly after it, calling out anything but his name as the blood rushed to
her face.
“Easy” he spoke softly, holding her
head against his cheek. Une opened her tightly closed eyes and was able to
catch the color of Zechs’ eyes with what little light there was.
“I never noticed the color of
ey
eyes” She said and he could see it was hard for her to say. He finally
understood the level to which she had banished him to obscurity in her heart
and mind, the degree to which she had ignored and forgotten him. Taking
handfuls of herghs,ghs, he lifted her legs to curl around his waist. Lady Une
saw a little bit of anger pass over his face and she put her hands on his chest
to stop him. He did stop and closed his eyes for a moment to gain some control.
“I’m not going to hurt you. But I will
make damn sure you never forget me again.”
But he would hurt her, as he always
did. That was how they both wanted it and how it had always been. They both had
strong attractions to pain, having steeped their lives in it for years now. The
pain was not the reason she had stopped him, he knew that too. Zechs didn’t
wait for her permission or for any signal. He just plunged ahead into her and
immediately felt the blood rushing into his heart even as he heard her moan.
Lady Une set her hips against his and held herself up with powerful back
muscles. Her legs tightened and loosened around his waist. They kept their eyes
open and aware, staring at one another in a silent challenge with every
answering thrust. Her body trembled with effort to stay with him and he came
down closer to make it easier. He took handfuls of her hair and twisted it
around his fist. Zechs sighed over and over again, thinking a little of Noin
and how she had given him too much of herself for him to love her. The pace
quickened and became stronger. Lady Une’s brow puckered and he knew then he was
hurting her past what she wanted. She took it as a true kindness when he
softened his movements within her and she thanked him with light kisses. Her
hands touched his face in what was almost a misplaced gesture, seeming to be
too sweet to be appropriate. But then the mood changed. There was a distinct look
in his eye and Lady Une began to panic.
“No! Please don’t.”
Zechs didn’t stop anything. He went
a little faster to punctuate a sudden determination. Against her will her back
arched farther up to receive him while her hands pushed against his shoulder.
Her moans were becoming sobs. She was terrified at what she knew he would do
and what she couldn’t stop. Zechs slammed his head against her shoulder,
pressing into her as he came. Lady Une cried out his name and a pleading
crying when he lifted his head, her hand was covering her eyes. Zechs took her
hand away and nuzzled the side of her face.
“I promise I won’t
drink again.”
“Why? Why did you do that? You know
what could happen now!” she shouted at him. There were no tears in her eyes as
she sobbed and Zechs thought perhaps she had no more tears left for this
matter.
“If it happens it happens and we
will deal with it.”
“It can’t happen again, Zechs. I
can’t bear it again.” She turned away from him and he caught her before she
could completely pull away.
“Things are different now, Lady. If
it happens again, there will be no one to kill it. It will live this time. I
won’t kill it, and you won’t kill it. You won’t wake up one morning to find it
has been murdered while you slept. It will live.”
for almost a half hour. They didn’t sleep but they didn’t move either. Both
remained frozen in the long moments of possibility. Zechs finally broke the
silence.
“I hap happens than we won’t be
able to forget one another anymore, and I will know that I don’t need to drink
or to fight, or to keep Noin a prisoner of her love anymore. If it happens, you
will have something to live for besides the past and the future. We need this
to happen. This is why I came here tonight.” He kissed her temple as she sighed
deeply and raggedly.
Lady Une looked out at the light
that seeped through the cracks in the office door, far off and faint, like
something hanging in the future, uncertain and beautiful and frightening. It
was so easy to convince herself that neither of them deserved what they were
trying to give each other. She watched the light for a long time, even after
Zechs had fallen asleep behind her. For a moment, she thought she saw the light
grow a little, like a rising point on the horizon that was only waiting to be
born.