Heero Learns to Respect Panties

GW
and its characters don’t belong to me but to Sunrise/SOTSU Agency Bandai
etc.etc.

This
fic originated ages ago from a conversation on the Love Reflection ml about
clichés where Heero or the other pilots just “rip” off the panties of their women
in fics.

This
is a more detailed version of a small, vague skit of a few lines I came up with
in that course of discussion. The idea of Heero getting stuck in a lingerie
store and having to buy for Relena as retribution for causing her to lack in the
area of undergarments.

This
is meant to be humorous and I hope it does at least make a few people smile and
being that it is intended to be comedy and such, it is exaggerated and possibly
OOC. This exaggeration is about the whole “panty ripping” theme, which I’ve
used many times in my own fics and will continue to use, because in the right
context it can be an intense and fun part of any lemon. Sometimes ya have to
laugh at yourself and things you write so this is what I’m basically doing.

I
was unsure how to end this one-shot so I ended it the only way I could k ofk of
at the time so I hope it doesn’t come off to rushed or short.

This
has adult situations (more lime then lemon) in it and language so to be safe
I’m rating it R, though some might feel a PG-13 rating would work just fine.

The
name of the store Pleasures and Treasures I came up with. I have no knowledge
of a store that exists with that name but if there is one out there I have no
affiliation with it in any way shape or form.

Hope
who ever reads this enjoys it.

~*~*~*~

Relena
rolled back her head and moaned Heero’s name as her eyelids fluttered closed.
The reaction she had to his touch spurred Heero to continue his kneading
caresses down her body, first at her breasts, then to waist…her hips…her
thighs…his eyes suddenly shot wide open and he jerked back from Relena holding
her by the shoulders.

Relena
tilted her head and looked at him oddly. “What is it Heero?”

Heero
cleared his throat, his growling tone on target.  “You’re not wearing any
‘thing’.”

Relena
exhaled a short breath and rolled her eyes as she hopped down off of her desk
shrugging free from the hold that Heero had on her. “Don’t you look at me like
that because, it’s your fault I’m panty-less. In the heat of this morning’s
passion you tore off my last pair. I simply haven’t been able to get to the
store to buy anymore. Hell, Heero, I barely have time for this quickie with
you.”

Heero
countered gruffly. “That’s ridiculous Relena. You can’t go around all day
wearing, nothing.”

Relena
placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. “You don’t wear anything.”

Heero
was thrown off a little by her remark. “Well, that’s different, I mean spandex is
just like wearing underwear, or something…it’s just different all right.” 

Heero
felt the hairs on the back of his head rise up as he saw a sly smile creep up
on Relena’s lips as she cocked an eyebrow. “Whatever. But, that still doesn’t
change the fact that I have no time to go to the store.” 

“What
about your assistant Brenda?”

“She
went into labor this morning, so Jenny has double the workload. Noin’s day is
booked, Hildie’s on assignment and Sally is at the hospital with Brenda, so
there’s really no one…unless.”

Heero
narrowed his eyes having a feeling of what she was about to suggest. “No
Relena. I’m not going in ‘that’ store.”

Relena
crossed her arms and turned her head and began to tap her foot. “Fine. Then
I’ll just wait until I can go tonight. Of course I have meetings all day so I
hope that none of the gentleman accidentally get a look at my…”

Heero
growled before she could finish her sentence. “Okay, okay. I’ll go.”

Relena
thanked him with a kiss but in mid lip lock her watch alarm began to beep and
she broke away from him. “Oh darling. I’m sorry but it’s time for my two
o’clock. You better be going anyway. I love you.”  She breathed the words
in his ear and pecked his cheek before returning behind her desk.

Heero
told her he loved her too and opened her office door passing Noin along the way
wondering what type of meeting Relena would be having with Noin.

Once
outside he hailed a cab and told the driver where to go. The trip seemed too
short and before he knew it the taxi had pulled up in front of Pleasures and
Treasures. He threw the driver a few bills before stepping out of the cab and
into the store.

A
perky blonde with a bounce in her step and a blinding white smile approached
him.  “Hello sir. Welcome to Pleasures and Treasures. My name is Brittany.
How may I help you this afternoon?”

Heero
swallowed the lump in his throat hoping the embarrassment he felt did not
register in his face. “I’m, um, looking for some, ah, Panties is just a word,
Yuy, like degradation, or distress, or disaster or doom…hold it together just
think of this as a mission. “underwear for my girlfriend, of course, ya
know, she’s out, out of them, panties I mean, er.”  Heero bit his tongue
to stop his babbling, forcing his usual calm resolve and coolness to take over.

The
girl seemed unfazed, no doubt having to have dealt with the situation from time
to time. “Of course sir, no problem. What is you lady’s size?”

Heero
closed his eyes feeling as if he should have just stayed in bed. “I don’t know,
I’m not sure, shit, I can’t say.”

He
opened his eyes to see the store clerk smiling even wider as if trying to
suppress her laughter. “Come with me sir.” Heero sighed and followed her to the
back of the store.

“On
this table sir, we have various styles and sizes. Feel free to rummage through
and pick out whatever size you feel is the correct one.”

Heero
felt a headache coming on. “Thank you.”  Of course it was only about after
three minutes of nervously going through what seemed like a mountain of panties
that he grew really frustrated; he whipped out his cell phone and punched in
Relena’s number. After two rings the phone picked up; it was her secretary that
answered.

“Vice
Foreign Minister Relena Dorlian’s office. How may I be of assistance?”

“Hey
Jen. It’s Heero. I need to talk to Relena.”

“She’s
in a meeting right now and cannot be disturbed Mr. Yuy.” 

Heero
wondered if his growl could be heard over the phone. “This is important Jenny.
I need to talk to her now.”

“I’m
sorry sir. But I have my orders.”

“Thanks
for nothing Jen.” Heero snarled flipping shut his phone and sticking it back
into the inside breast pocket of his jacket. 

~*~*~*~

“He
actually called Jenny? Oh my.” Relena giggled somewhat looking at Noin who was
holding back her own laughter.

“I
told you it would work Relena.” 

The
Minister folded her arms and frowned a little “I feel horrible about this Lucrezia.
I just hate making him squirm like that. It’s so mean, funny in a way, but
mean.” 

Lucrezia
sighed her matter of fact logic sounding in her voice. “No Relena. Men have to
learn to respect our panties. If tkindkind of humiliation can cure Zechs it can
definitely cure Heero. Though Hildie told me that Duo was a lost cause when she
tried this with him.”

Relena
was smiling now but biting her lip. “I don’t know…I kinda like it when Heero
gets forceful and just rips them off, but every time is a bit much.”

Lucrezia
sighed again and patted Relena on the back as she left the office. “Hang in
there, girl. It’ll be worth the guilt you’re feeling.”

~*~*~*~

Heero
cursed under his breath. It had been ten minutes sorting through the piles of satin
and lace and still he wasn’t sure, he knew Relena was a size four in clothing
but was it the same in panties? Women’s clothing, no wonder I envision her
walking around naked all the time.

Brittany
seemed to notice and approached him. “Sir, are you okay? Do you need some
assistance?”

Heero
stepped back and flung some of the panties back on the table growing angry. “I
don’t know her size and I’m afraid to guess…Relena’s dress size is a four.”

The
clerk’s ears seemed to perk up at the name. “Relena? Vice Foreign Minister
Relena Dorlian? Is that who you mean? Oh we know her size.” The store clerk
giggled somewhat as she yelled across the store to the other attendant.
“Tiffany. Relena Dorlian’s male friend, the animal is here! Box up her usual
won’t you?”

Heero’s
first instinct was to kill the girl and run as he stood there with no
camouflage to hide him from the other female customers that were staring at
him. Hey wait, animal? Where did they…? Before he could contemplate any
further he heard the familiar high-pitched voice of the attendant.

“The
register’s right over here sir if you’re ready to check out.”

More
than ready, Heero thought to himself as he walked up to the island checkout
bar, not so oblivious to the fact that Brittany was checking out his ass the
entire time.

“You
could rip off my panties any day.” Brittany murmured under her breath causing
Heero to twirl around and face her.

“What
was that?” 

Brittany
quickly donned the guise of wide-eyed innocence. “Nothing. I simply said you
could come in and shop at anytime.” 

Heero’s
eyes narrowed knowing she was lying but he was too tired to care and more than
anxious to get out of the store, so he let it go.

o\'> 

“Will
that be cash or charge sir?”

Heero
turned back around to Tiffany. “Charge.” He simply stated handing the girl his
credit card and watching as she ran it though the machine, handed it back to
him and then ripped the receipt, which was ready for his signature. He
scribbled his name on it, took the copy and the box, bidding the two woman good
day as he proceeded to the door of the shop.

“That’s
the guy that Relena talks about Brittany? Man’s he’s hot.” 

Brittany
nodded and giggled again acknowledging her friend. “Miss Dorlian has every
right to brag about him. You think he really is an animal in bed?”

 Heero’s
cocked a brow hearing the girls words and was so distracted that he didn’t see
the person that he was about to smack into; he did a double take seeing the
familiar face.

“Good
luck Duo. Be brave.” 

Duo
looked at him funny for a second and then shrugged. “Okay buddy. Whatever.” He
grinned as he entered the store.

“Tiffany!
Brittany! Hey ya babes. I’ve come her to pick up Hildie’s usual items.”

Heero
turned back around at Duo’s words and saw the girls greeting Duo like a long
lost friend; he shook his head not even shocked, leave it to Duo to give
himself an excuse for having to patronize the place.

Heero’s
mood did not lighten in the least until he was once again in Relena’s office
where an extreme emotion of a different kind was overtaking his logic, but
first things first, so he dropped the box on Relena’s desk, seeing her eyes
light up as she smiled.

“That
was so sweet of you Heero. Thank you, but I was able to find a pair after all.
I forgot all about the extra I keep in my desk drawer, for our private
meetings.”

“What?
Do you realize what I just went through?” Heero was speechless, then in
exasperation and shock as he felt all of the coloring drain from his face, the
realization that all the frustration and humiliation he went through was for
nothing. 

Relena
pursed her lips picking up on the simmering volcano that was on the verge of
erupting; she rose from her chair and walked over to him and wrapped her arms
around his waist rubbing her body against his, smiling a little feeling him
relax. It was time to stroke the delicatle ple pride that most men seemed to
have.

She
felt him shiver somewhat as she glided her hands softly up and down his back.
“I realize that Heero, and I’m more than prepared to show my gratitude…my three
o’clock canceled so I have a whole hour. Fortunately I was able to pencil you
in.”

Heero
opened his eyes and looked down at her his anger gone the instant her pelvis
began to grind against his sex. “An hour?” He asked with eyes that were
narrowed with lust.

Relena
nodded, her eyes gleaming with lust as well. She hopped up and wrapped her legs
around his waist meeting him in a frenzied kiss as he stumbled forward somewhat
until she was sitting on the edge of her desk. With shaking hands Heero began
to unbutton the jacket of her blazer while she worked with the buckle of his
belt and after several seconds Heero was freed from his slacks and Relena’s
upper body was bare all except for Heero’s head as his mouth attacked her
nipples, taking the plumb little nubs of her rounded orbs into his mouth to
tease and torture them with his teeth and tongue.

Her
fists gripped strands of his wild dark hair holding him as captive as his mouth
held her breasts. Then feeling a mild cramp in her lower back she released him,
placing her palms flat on the desk behind her to support her body.

Heero
took the opportunity of her laid back position and slid his hands underneath
her skirt, hooking his index fingers around the thin side straps of the satin
undergarment. A deep growl left his throat as he began to tug roughly the thin
straps; suddenly he stopped and asked Relena to stand up.

With
a questioning tilt to her head she complied, only to notice that Heero knelt
down on one knee, and with his fingers he carefully rolled her panties down her
smooth, slender, nylon clad legs, taking turns lifting each one of her tiny
feet delicately until the undergarment was completely off her, thrown casually
over his shoulder. He rose to stand in front of her once more and leaned
forward, as she found herself again being lifted and laid back against the
desk.

“Now
where were we?”

Swallowing
hard the amused laughter that bubbled up inside her, she wrapped her arms
around his neck, pulling him even closer to her.

“If
this keeps up, I’ll have to come up with another nickname for you.”

With
a devious smirk that would rival the devil’s Heero shook his head. “And leave
you with nothing to brag about? I don’t think so.”

~*~

And
if not for the soundproofing of her office walls the entire building would have
heard the loud and explicit content of Relena’s Dorlian’s three-o’clock
appointment.

END