Points Of Authority

Points of Authority

Prequel to Emotionless Tomorrows

Disclaimer: I don’t not own any Beyblade characters involved in this dark song fic all belong to Takao Aoki. The song “Points of Authority” does not belong to me either. All rights of ownership belong to Linkin Park I’m just using the characters and song for my own personal amusement. Hope everyone likes it. Oh, and everything within the \"// //\" markings are parts of the song. Enjoy.

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//Forfeit the game/before somebody else

Takes you out of the frame/puts your name to shame

Cover up your face/you can\'t run the race

The pace is too fast/you just won\'t last//

Here I am, again lying in his bed. Again I\'ve forfeited myself to him. I can\'t fight him. I told him I would stay by him no matter what. But does that mean I have to keep shaming myself this way. Do I have to keep putting on this mask? Keep pretending to love him as I once did?

Things only seemed to race past me now. I can\'t keep up with anything. I can\'t keep trying to grab hold of how things use to be. How it was when I first fell in love with him. But I had made that promise. I promised to stay with him no matter what.

\"Tyson,\" I hear him call my name huskily. I know what he wants. This is the only time I hear him try to sound lovingly anymore. I wonder what happened to the other side. The side of Kai I use to love. I turn over, staring into his cold auburn eyes.

\"Yes Kai.\" If I don\'t answer him, I know he\'ll become violent with me. After all, I still have his \"love marks\" from yesterday. The bruises that cover my chest and back are still sore.

//You love the way I look at you//

God I know my eyes are full of fear. He knows I fear him now. He enjoys that look. He must have known this look well. At one time it was he that looked like this. It was he that felt fear numbing his entire body, his heart, soul, and mind.

\"Do you love me?\" he asks again. His auburn eyes piercing my blue ones. Why does he continue to ask? He knows I won\'t say no. So why? What sort of satisfied does he get out of my fearful responses?

\"O-of course, Kai,\" I manage. I see the curl of his lips before he draws me closer to his naked body. His hand slips up to cup the back of my head. My body goes cold, completely cold towards him. But he doesn\'t care as he brutally seizes my mouth for his own.

//While taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through//

My lips are still bruised from his previous kisses. I close my eyes. He pushes his tongue past my lips into my mouth, hoping to make me moan like I use to. But I can\'t, not anymore. He\'s not the same person I use to love.

Finally he pulls back, studying my face. His eyes are cold as I stare into them. They\'re so full of hatred. \"So you don\'t like my kisses anymore. That\'s fine. Because I know you can\'t resist me other ways, can you Tyson?\"

I feel his hand slink down past my torso. I know what he plans to do. I\'m in trouble I know. I try to move away from him, but his eyes pin me in place. Every time I try to put up some sort of resistance, he stops me. How do I run when I made such a promise? That no matter what I would stay by him?

\"So, do you still want to be cold Tyson?\" His hand is around me. Stroking and thumbing me slowly. I bite my lip, causing more damage to it. God, my mind has forgotten his warmth, his touch, but my body will not.

//You take away if I give in//

I clench my hands, trying to fight his touch. Why...why does he do this? He knows I can\'t resist his touch. He is now stroking me faster. Much faster than before. My body wants his touch so much. I fight the moan, the pleasure, his touch. I fight with myself to gain back control I use to know.

\"Fight me, Tyson. I love it when you fight me.\" His voice is so low now. He\'s enjoying this. Enjoying how I try to fight his touch. My eyes close, my hands unclench. I slowly give in. I can\'t fight...I never could. Not against him anyway. Against my will, a groan unfurls from me. My hands find their way to his chest. To touch him once again. I can feel that triumphant sneer on his face as he stops his actions.

I keep my eyes closed. I know he was satisfied. His lover had surrendered to him yet again. Tears creep into the corners of my eyes. I needed his touch now. I had to know his touch once again. Even if my mind and heart didn\'t want it my body did. Why was it such a selfish thing to make me suffer so much? Even now it thrust into his hand, wanting him to finish. To release us from this torture called sexual arousal.

\"You want me don\'t you? Even if your heart doesn\'t, your body will always. Tell me Tyson. Tell me what I want to hear,\" he says, slowly, deliberately stroking. My whimpers of pleasure excite him.

//My life

My pride is broken//

What happened to make me so weak? I ask myself over and over again when this happens. How could I...one of the best, if not the best blader in the world, be subdued so easily? This was pathetic. It was love...love made me promise him this. Love made me say so many things I now wished I could take back.

Love made me open my eyes. Look directly into his eyes, those ice cold fiery eyes. Eyes that always burned with cold fire. Love made me open my mouth and utter those words that all the time sealed my fate and made me loathe it.

\"I need you, Kai. I can\'t...I can\'t go on without you. I need you so much,\" I choked out, trying to hold back the rising sob through the pleasure. Nobody knows how much I hate myself for those words. But at one time they had been true. That was before he changed.

The smirk rises up again as he pulls me into his lap. His mouth works its way across my body. I quaver, remembering when it meant more than this transparent blanket of love. When it was genuine instead of this façade. This satire I\'m subjected to play out.

Yet my body knows no difference as I let him know how much I\'m enjoying his lust. He pushes me onto my knees and I know I can\'t escape. I had trapped myself in this web of deceit and masochism. He must have learned this from his grandfather all those years that passed by.

//You like to think you\'re never wrong

(You live what you learn)//

When we found out about those years in his grandfather\'s clutches, we had sympathy for him. To have been treated with such abuse finally let us understand him. Of course he thought he was always right. That\'s how he had been taught to be by his grandfather, by Boris, by everyone. He had to be right, be perfect to please them.

Even now he continued to be like that. It was so much into his system, I doubt he knew. To be perfect...that had been his dream. Now...

//You want to act like you\'re someone

(You live what you learn)//

Now he was who he was meant to be. Frozen, unfeeling, harsh. His grandfather would have been proud if he was still alive I muse quietly. He was someone that I never wanted him to be. He was a stranger to me now.

I ease my body as he enters me. He was so rough with me now. I cry sometimes during our lovemaking, if it can be called that. Cry and moan; whimper anything to release myself from the prison that my mind has become. He doesn\'t seem to care. He never cares as he does it. Was that another trait he learned?

//You want someone to hurt like you

(You live what you learn)

You want to share what you\'ve been through

(You live what you learn)//

I moan as he moves against me. His moans, soft and low, filled with pleasure. I use to think sex was the only time he wouldn\'t abuse me. But that\'s not true. I have marks on my back and chest where he rakes his nails across my skin, drawing blood. My pain is his true pleasure. Even now he\'s yanking roughly on my hair. Hair he used to love. Loved running his fingers through when we were alone and wanted each other. When we use to be in love.

He doesn\'t do that anymore. Instead he uses it to cause me more pain. Was he treated this roughly when his grandfather raped him? I close my eyes, hoping that maybe he\'ll leave me alone soon. That he\'ll come and fall asleep so I can cry without him witnessing it. And gloating because that was the state he put me in.

My moans of pleasure return as he moves his hand from my hair. His hand goes back around me. Pumping harder now in stride to his thrusts. I cry out again. Panting, wanting, needing him more by the minute. Hating this intense need. He goes faster now, both with his thrusts and my need for a release.

By now I\'m gasping. Ready to plunge over the edge. I hurry my body. Maybe...maybe it\'ll make him come over that ledge with me. Finally when I think it\'ll never come, I hear him moan as he climaxes. His hand pumps faster now. Closing my eyes, I let my body take over. I feel myself come against his hand and the sheets.

It\'s over I think as I collapse onto the bed. Kai pulls me to him. I can feel his heart pounding in his chest. He wraps his arms around me, kissing my neck. \"You love me, don\'t you, Tyson? You\'ll never leave me, will you?\"

I hate it, I hated it so much. That note his voice carries. That smug hidden note meant to be called loving. How many times did he hear it? How many I wonder.

//You love the things I say I\'ll do--//

\"No Kai, I won\'t,\" I whisper as he goes to sleep. The tears fall only now. I hate this so much. It\'s not love anymore. I hate who I\'ve become.

//The way I hurt myself again just to get back at you//

I climb out his embrace, careful not to wake him as I dress. I couldn\'t live like this forever. I had to do something. I couldn\'t continue to beat myself up inside because I didn\'t want to hurt him. How many times have I done that? Sliced myself up inside to keep from doing that to him? He\'s already been through so much already, right?

It wasn\'t affecting him when he found me lying on the floor after trying to slit my wrists and bleed to death. He had the damage repaired, and then beat me for trying to break my promise to him. I can\'t go through the rest of my life knowing the little life I\'m given to live will be as a broken man.

//You take away when I give in//

Walking over to the dresser, I pull out the magnum with the silencer on it. He had reduced me to this. This time he won\'t be able to save me. I\'ve never broken a promise to anyone before. I was strong enough not to. But now...now I have to. I couldn\'t tell the others what was going on. He had set up a pretense of love for them to see. They knew nothing of the truth behind our \"love\".

//My life

My pride is broken//

I walk into the bathroom. I\'d rather not stain the bedroom with my blood. After all, he had stained it with much more by now. I can\'t believe what I\'ve been reduced to. He did this. Stripped me of my life, my pride, my love. Even if I was free to leave without the burden of the promise I made, I could never love again.

My lover had made sure of that. It\'s funny. Now I think of him as a lover. As my life is about to be ripped completely away. The thought comforts me in a strange pellucid way. Once we had been lovers. Once... That now seemed like an eternity ago rather than just three years. How could things have gone so array in such a short time?

//You like to think you\'re never wrong

(You live what you learn)

You want to act like you\'re someone

(You live what you learn)

You want someone to hurt like you

(You live what you learn)

You want to share what you\'ve been through

(You live what you learn)//

As I sit on the floor, I think back over the years. To when we first met. A smile curls my lips. That first battle seemed to ensure we would always cross paths. Was it Cupid\'s design from the beginning to torment me?

If it wasn\'t with his all high and mighty attitude, it was his persistence to stay above us all. To be untouchable and perfect. Maybe I should have let him. Let him stay up on his pedestal to achieve his goal. Wouldn\'t that be better than this cheap existence? Damn him, damn him for this! Tears continue to fall as I set the gun in my mouth. It would end. I\'m sorry father, grandfather, Mr. Dickenson, Kenny, Ray, Max. My strength has worn thin. My pride has left me. My life is slipping away. The love I once had...ha ha...wish I knew when it left.

//Forfeit the game/before somebody else

Takes you out of the frame/puts your name to shame

Cover up your face/you can\'t run the race

The pace is too fast/you just won\'t last//

\"Tyson, what are you doing?\" His voice brings me back. Looking up, I find him in the entrance of the bathroom. His auburn eyes burn into mine. Piercing me with their stone stare. I feel like a kid that\'s been caught red handed in the cookie jar. \"Put the gun down.\"

I shake all over. The authority in his voice makes me want to do as he says. Yet I know what lies for me if I put the gun down. I won\'t be forgiven so easily for another attempt. I shake my head no. Lowering my eyes, refusing to meet their fiery coldness.

//You like to think you\'re never wrong

(You live what you learn)//

\"You won\'t be able to do it,\" he mocked.

He\'s wrong I tell myself. Not only has our relationship changed, and he\'s changed, but so have I. My pride\'s gone, now I can do something so petty, as empty as this. Nothing stopped me from it.

//You want to act like you\'re someone

(You live what you learn)//

\"Tyson.\" His voice is sterner now. He steps into the bathroom. His shadow descending over me in a menacing way. His hand is held out. He expects me to hand him the gun like a good little marionette. I\'m not his puppet. I have life of my own. He isn\'t going to control me anymore. \"Tyson, the gun.\"

Another step is taken towards me. I\'m shivering all over. My palms sweaty. My face wet and salty from tears. This is it. I have to do it now. Squeezing my eyes shut, I pull the trigger. Then pull it again. Then again and again. No blinding light or quick shot of pain before everything blacks out. Nothing. Nothing at all. I\'m still alive.

//You want someone to hurt like you//

\"Idiot,\" he says snidely.

My world plummets farther into despair. Opening my eyes, I see the clip in his hand. The gun clatters to the floor, stopping in front of Kai. Bending down, he retrieved the weapon. My blue eyes stare up at him. \"Why?\" I whisper. \"Why?\"

A twisted smile crosses his lips. \"You promised you would never leave my side. No matter what. You won\'t break that promise. You\'re mine. All mine, Tyson. Because I love you.\"

//(You live what you learn)//

Love...he loved me? That\'s why he kept torturing me? Because he loved me?! Was that what his grandfather told him also growing up? I want to hate him, but I can\'t. So it was love huh? Love that prohibited hatred? Love that caused him to continue to turn me into his little obedient slave?

//You want to share what you\'ve been through//

\"Clean your face and come back to bed Tyson. I\'ll be waiting for you.\" Turning sharply, Kai leaves me in the bathroom. My sobs, my tears, my aching ceases as I stand up to clean my face. Crying wouldn\'t make my punishment less severe. It would only make things worst.

Cutting on the water, I cup my hands under the faucet. I splash water on my face. Then stare into the mirror. I\'m startled to see a resemblance of Kai in my reflection. I reach out, touching it. What was I going to do? I couldn\'t escape. Not anymore. It was past that point of being too late. I was now exactly what he used to be.

//(You live what you learn)//