Let It Be Me

A/N: hi again! another holiday has reared its ugly head, and i have written some fic for the occasion! now, the contents are questionable, and i don't think it's very good, but it is my humble offering to all of you.

*whispers* there may be a second part. i have it planned out, but i want some feedback on the first part before i start on it.

the poem later in the story is actually a song, by elvis, that i thought would fit the mood of the piece. needless to say, i don't own that either.

anywho, enjoy!


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Let It Be Me
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Edward Elric slammed his apartment door closed and ran for the bathroom. He heaved the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl in front of him, hating but grateful for the feeling of acid burning his throat. Anything to get that horrid taste from his mouth…

Once his stomach had been purged, Ed slumped against the frigid tile wall, feeling every ache and pain from the previous night clawing at his nerves. Last night hadn’t been good. Greed had lived up to his namesake, taking him over and over, not caring that Ed’s fragile body was close to breaking. Ed hated the way Greed treated him, hated what he had to do for the man, but though his body had yet to break, his will had long ago.

He didn’t fight it anymore. He’d been so desperate all those years ago, that when Greed had picked him up off the streets, Ed had gladly gone home with him. And now it was commonplace to be roughly fucked and overall mistreated. At least he had a semblance of freedom to come back to. He looked up and around at the drab grey wallpaper and pink tiles that decorated his bathroom. It was sad that something so ugly and unkempt was his freedom.

Ed stood shakily to his feet and flushed the toilet. He stripped and stepped into the shower stall, uncaring how cold the water was that hit his body as he turned the nozzle. He couldn’t feel anything, anyway, since he popped quite a few pain pills back at Greed’s when he’d awoken. And he’d been plied with so much alcohol last night that he was surprised he still wasn’t drunk.

As the water pounded relentlessly against his body, Ed’s thoughts drifted to the events that had led him to such a horrible morning. He’d been called over to Greed’s, only to arrive to find the man’s entire gang there, as well, not to mention all their women. And as the night went on, Ed had been used by Greed over and over again, and in front of the gang. Ed could only be grateful that Greed hadn’t let any of the others touch him, like they were always begging for him to do.

Over the roar of the water Ed heard the phone ring. Turning off the spray, he stepped out of the shower and walked into his living room, uncaring of his nudity or the water dripping onto his floor. He picked up the cordless receiver and answered it.

“Hello?” he asked in a raspy throat; it still stung from its misuse the previous night.

“Good morning, brother!”

“Al…” he let out in a whisper.

“Ed, what’s wrong? Are you sick? Do you need me to come over and nurse you?”

“I’m not sick, Al.”

“Then… It was him again, wasn’t it? Brother, why are you in this relationship with such an abusive man? I wish you’d just get away from him. He’s not good people.”

Ed was silent. He couldn’t tell his younger brother why he let Greed do what he did; Al was why he let Greed do all those things.

“Brother, why do you love him so much?”

Ed fought the urge to vomit. That was a lie, a lie he’d told his brother to cover why he was really staying with Greed. And he acted the part perfectly. He spread his legs, begged just right, and screamed his ‘love’ for the man in front of God and everyone when he had to in order to ensure his brother’s future. What were a few aches and pains compared to his brother’s happiness?

“I… just do.”

Silence met his statement, and then he heard a door close in the background. He heard a muffled voice, and his breath caught in his throat for a moment. He knew when Al covered the mouthpiece to reply to the voice, and his own hand rose to capture a sob that wanted to leave him.

“The colonel just got home. He said he wants to-”

Al’s voice cut off, and Ed’s eyes widened when the sentence was picked up.

“- To talk to you. Why didn’t you have your cellphone on last night?” asked a deep voice that Ed was so very familiar with. It was the voice that haunted his dreams, sleeping and waking, the voice that never once reprimanded him about what he did almost every night.

“I left it at home to charge,” Ed lied. Greed had tossed it out the window when it had rang during their ‘performance.’

There was silence, then, “I’ll get you a new one tomorrow. Would you like me to come-”

“No!” Ed interrupted. He didn’t want to see the man. Well, he didn’t want the man to see him like this, for even though he hadn’t looked in the mirror once since waking, he knew he was covered in bruises and bite marks. He took a deep breath. “No, just have it mailed or something.”

“… I understand, Edward. Come to the precinct tomorrow. Al and I want to tell you something. Get some rest.”

“Thank you… Roy.” He hung up then, not really caring if Al had been done talking to him or not. He replaced the phone on the coffee table where he’d found it before sinking to the floor beside it. Ed gently fell to his side and curled into a ball, his still damp body freezing in his heater-less apartment. But he didn’t care about that either. His only thoughts were for the man he’d just hung up on.

Roy Mustang, captain of the police department, was Al’s guardian. Technically, he was Ed’s guardian, as well, but Ed had never once been under his guard; Roy merely cared for him when he didn’t have to. He’d only asked Roy, a friend of a friend of the family, to take Al in after their mother had died and they’d had to leave their hometown. Ed had hooked up with Greed, and because Roy was Roy, he both knew about it and did nothing.

Ed had been sixteen when he’d come to Central, and as such, an adult able to make his own decisions. After being taken in by Greed, he’d searched out the man known to many and by many names to care for his brother. He’d told Roy that he would pay for all of Al’s expenses if only the man would give the younger Elric a place to live. Roy had agreed and offered for Ed to stay, as well, but even that short amount of time in Greed’s grasp had had the blonde too trapped to go anywhere.

And now, after so many years, Greed’s hold was as strong as ever. And it was because Ed was held by the threat to his brother. As Al grew older, Greed’s help would no longer be required, and thus Ed would be free. But the man now threatened to kill his brother if Ed even thought about leaving, and since Al was going to attend Central University in a matter of months, he’d be easy enough to find should Ed try to call his bluff.

And the only person who could help him out of this situation wouldn’t… because Ed hadn’t asked him to. Ed wouldn’t ask him to; he didn’t deserve help at this point. But, God, did he love that man. He didn’t know exactly when he’d fallen for the man, but he had, and it was so very painful.

Shaking too much to continue lying naked on the floor, Ed slowly got up and walked to his bedroom. He collapsed onto his bed, his eyes closed in bliss as painful relief washed over his body. Cracking open an eye to glance at the time, Ed’s eye caught his wall calendar. Winry Rockbell, a childhood friend, had sent it to Al, who gave it to Roy, who sent it to Ed, because he wouldn’t let either the girl or his brother know where he lived.

He glared at the collection of cardstock. Tomorrow’s date was highlighted pink and surrounded by a giant red heart. Winry could be such a girl sometimes, and Ed turned his head from it irritably.

Tomorrow was St. Valentine’s Day, a day of candy, kisses, romance, and true love. But not for Ed. The pains in his lower body and the aches in other places showed him the only kind of love he was afforded in his life – tough love, brutal love, love that was not love at all, not in any sense of the word.

Ed pondered to himself just how this Valentine person had been canonized in the first place. What had he done that was so special to warrant sainthood and his own holiday? But however cynical he sounded, Ed fell asleep wishing he could ask someone so close to God for help, since God hadn’t seemed to have heard him all those years ago, when he’d still believed he could be saved.

~*~

Roy was seated behind his desk at the station, idly twirling a pen between his fingers. A slight frown marred his handsome features, and no one in his precinct dared to ask what was wrong; it wasn’t often that he was this down and quiet.

And the person responsible for his behavior was none other than a certain blonde shrimp that was doing something wrong for all the wrong reasons. Well, Roy conceded that trying to provide for a younger brother while keeping him completely unaware of the whole sordid situation was a good and noble thing, but the way Ed was going about it was oh so very wrong.

He didn’t for a minute believe the bullshit the blonde fed his brother about his boyfriend just getting a little too excited, because he knew what kind of man Greed really was, and if it weren’t for the fact that he couldn’t actually pin anything on the man, Roy would’ve put him away long ago. And the whole thing about Ed actually loving the man… Roy wouldn’t believe that for a minute either, but he reluctantly admitted that it was because he just didn’t want to.

He loved the younger man very much, had for a few years now, but Ed was so set on making sure Al had the future that he didn’t think he’d ever have for himself. If the idiot could only see that Al was now on his own, that Roy could easily provide for them both, that he could ask Roy for anything…

Roy swore under his breath. If only Ed hadn’t been sixteen when he’d started up with Greed, Roy could have stopped this long ago. But he had been, so Roy had sat back for years and watched this farce of a ‘romance’ continue, all because Ed thought it was right and wouldn’t listen to reason.

“Colonel!”

Roy looked up, and his frown smoothed out to a gentle smile. Alphonse Elric made his way to the desk and sat down in one of the plush chairs before it. He looked into the bright eyes of the boy he’d looked after since Ed had shown up in Central looking for him. The younger Elric had grown to be like family to Roy, and that was very precious to the man since he had no family of his own.

“What’s wrong, Colonel? You look lost.”

Roy heard someone stifling a laugh, and he looked over Al’s shoulder and pinned Jean Havoc with a steely glare. “Jean, why don’t you go see if there’s something to be done in the filing room?”

Havoc quit laughing and groaned, his head hanging down as the others around him smothered their chuckles. Havoc had always gotten a kick out of Al calling him ‘Colonel,’ and Roy got an equal kick out of punishing the man for his amusement.

Al grinned at him sheepishly. “I forgot not to call you that around him.”

“It’s alright, Alphonse. It’s perfectly logical to mistake my dress blues for a military uniform. You had just come from the country and a local sheriff’s office, after all.”

“We were not that outdated, Colonel.”

Roy laughed at the annoyed look on Al’s face before it faded to another smile. Al always had put him in a good mood. It was a good thing he’d arrived before Ed; maybe he could avoid a headache today. And if Ed looked as bad today as he’d sounded on the phone yesterday, Roy was all for letting Al take over the lecture to keep Roy from losing his composure.

It hurt so much to see the bruises and marks all over that golden skin, knowing that the young man let it all happen willingly and not being able to do anything about it.

“So, Alphonse,” Roy started, trying to get his mind off of the blonde for the moment. “Are you ready to leave?”

“Yes, I have everything packed and waiting in the car. I… I just don’t know if it was a good thing to keep this from Ed for so long.”

“Believe me, Alphonse, this was the only way.” This way, Ed didn’t have the chance to screw it up.

“I still can’t believe I was accepted to a school overseas! I didn’t even apply there, I was so scared of not getting in.” Al was silent for a moment. “Why did you fill out an application for me, Colonel?”

Because Greed had something on Ed, and Roy was sure Al was it. But he didn’t say as much to Al. The less the boy knew, the better the chances it worked out. “Because I knew they’d be crazy not to accept you. You are a bright young man that will make a name for yourself in this world. You should have every opportunity to make that happen.”

“But it’s so much of your money… And then there’s Ed…”

“Alphonse, you’re my only family now, you and Edward. And once you’re on your way to independence, I will make sure Edward is taken care of, so there’s nothing for you to worry about.”

Hawkeye ushering a very pale Ed into the office stopped anything that Al would have said to that. Roy noticed the slight limp that carried the blonde to the other chair before his desk, and by the frown on Al’s face, the younger boy had seen it, too.

“What is this all about, now?” Ed moodily asked as Hawkeye returned with a mug of coffee for the young man.

“Brother, what happened to you? What did that bastard do to you?”

“Al, watch your language, and Greed… He didn’t do anything.”

“Tch, don’t even try to pull that, brother. Why won’t you just leave him? Brother, one day you… you might not… might not survive…”

Al’s sentence was choked off by a slight sob, and the pain he saw in both Elric boys’ eyes overwhelmed Roy. But this would end today; he’d make sure of it.

“This is not the time for that, Alphonse. Let’s tell Edward the good news.”

Ed’s eyes immediately narrowed in suspicion as Al perked up in the seat next to him. “I’m leaving for college overseas!” Ed didn’t say anything, just stared at Al, so the boy went on nervously. “I… I know I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t want to get your hopes up if they didn’t accept me. Hell, I didn’t even know. The Colonel was the one that sent the application in for me, but I’m so grateful because I got in, and now…”

Al trailed off, as Ed still didn’t react. Roy was slightly worried that the surprise piled upon the stress and pain his body was undoubtedly already under had somehow shorted the other man out. And the worry was serious if the term ‘shorted’ hadn’t urged him to even smirk.

Ed blinked and slowly settled his mug on Roy’s desk. Then he stood and reached for Al, wrapping the boy in his arms when Al rose to his feet. “I’m so happy for you, Al,” Ed whispered, and he sent a look Roy’s way that was filled with too many different emotions to decipher correctly. But there was no mistaking the unshed tears of relief in those golden eyes that Roy loved to stare into whenever to opportunity arose.

As the boys continued to embrace, Roy glanced at the wall clock and rolled his chair away from the desk. He stood and cleared his throat. “Come on, and I’ll drive you to the airport, Alphonse.”

“Airport?” Ed asked in confusion.

“Oh, yes, well, brother, I’m leaving today.”

Those golden eyes widened in shock and sadness. “What? It’s February!”

“I thought it best Alphonse get there early to establish a home and job, as well as participate in the summer orientation experience to get him acclimated to the new country,” Roy stated calmly, but a warning note edged his voice, noticeable only to the elder Elric sibling. “Come now, we can discuss it in the car.”

Roy motioned for the boys to leave before him, and he followed them out, a small smile of sadness and hope on his lips.

~*~

Ed stood silently in Al’s room, vainly wishing he could turn back time and spend more of it with his brother. For years Greed had monopolized his time, the fear that the man would do something to his brother keeping Ed from seeing much of the boy. The tears he hadn’t allowed in Roy’s office or at the airport now fell freely down his cheeks, but he couldn’t honestly say that they were tears of sadness.

He was so very happy for his brother. Al would now have the future he’d always deserved, away from the pain of their past and the filth that Ed brought with his presence and influence. And Greed would have a hard time finding Al; Roy had made sure of that, registering Al under the officer’s mother’s maiden name, a name that had faded into obscurity after the woman’s death.

Somehow, without Ed having asked, Roy had come through for him and saved Al. Ed was under no delusions that he was free of Greed, but his brother was safe, and that was all that mattered. In fact, Al was going to be watched by a friend of Roy’s, a Maes Hughes that lived where Al was attending school. So even if Ed couldn’t contact or be contacted by Al for some time, he’d always know how he was.

Ed swiped his palms down his cheeks to rid them of the tears and turned from the room. He was exhausted, and his guest room was calling his name. When he got down the hall and into the room, he stood rooted to the doorway as he gazed upon his bed. There were roses on his bed, bond by a red silk ribbon, and Ed could just make out a white card strung with them. He walked fearfully over to the bed, an insane part of his mind screaming that it was joke from Greed meant to make him feel special just before the man and his gang jumped out to give him their definition of a Valentine’s Day gift.

His hand was shaking as he brought the card closer.

God bless the day I found
I want to stay around you
And so I beg you
Let it be me
Don’t take this heaven from one
If you must cling to someone
Now and forever
Let it be me
Each time we meet, love
I find complete love
Without your sweet love
Tell me, what would life be?
So never leave me lonely
Just tell me you love me only
And that you’ll always
Let it be me

~Roy

Ed took a ragged breath and dropped the card. It wasn’t real. It was just a joke, played on gullible Edward Elric on a day when he felt most vulnerable. But… Roy would never do something so cruel. Roy was kind, had taken care of his brother without complaint, and had gotten his brother out of Greed’s grasp. No, Roy would never toy with his feelings like this.

So… what was going on?

~*~

Roy waited patiently for Ed to find his Valentine, though he was getting increasingly nervous. Though Roy had never backed down from anything in his life, he had no idea where the courage had come from to confess his feelings for the blonde. He just hoped that Ed could see his path to freedom from Greed, whether he returned Roy’s feelings or not.

A sound at the door to his study had him turning around, and Ed’s golden eyes stared at him in questioning wonder. He gave a slight smile, wondering what Ed could possibly be thinking at the moment, and the hesitant smile he was awarded in return made his heart melt.

“That was a lovely poem, Roy.”

“I’m afraid I can’t take the credit. I was never very good at expressing myself in words, or even that part of myself, so I found something that could. I hope you don’t mind.”

Ed shook his head with an amused smile. “It’s still a lovely gesture… if you meant it.”

Roy’s smile slipped, his face turning serious as he regarded Ed. “I meant every word, Edward.”

Ed didn’t say anything, just stood there for a moment before walking toward him. When he was standing in front of Roy, the older man gasped in surprise as Ed reached up and pulled his head down into a light kiss. When he pulled back, Roy stared in wonder at the shorter blonde.

“Roy…Thank you so much.”

Roy smiled and reached a hand up to thread his fingers through the silky strands of blonde hair falling out of Ed’s ponytail. This time he brought their lips together for a kiss, trying to promise Ed everything he could ever want if only the blonde would accept.

Ed sobbed into the kiss, bringing his arms up to wrap around Roy’s neck, and he opened his mouth at Roy’s gentle urging. The older man slid his tongue into the blonde’s mouth, tasting a lingering trace of the toothpaste Ed had used that afternoon. But mostly he tasted Ed, and that was the sweetest flavor he’d ever come across, delving his tongue even deeper to taste more.

Ed moaned, and Roy moved his hands down to the smaller man’s hips, slowly bringing their bodies into contact. Ed gasped, and Roy worriedly pulled away, afraid he’d aggravated one of the blonde’s injuries. But then Ed grabbed his hips and pulled him forward once again, and Roy grinned when Ed began to actually rub against him, sensuously, like a cat.

The hands on his hips turned into arms wrapped around his waist, and Roy heard whispered into his chest, “Let this be real. I want it to be real.”

“It is real, Edward. I love you.”

There was a sob then a muffled, “Me too.” Roy smiled lovingly at the top of a blonde head. Without warning, he bent at the knees and picked Ed up in his arms, earning a surprised squawk from the smaller man. Roy grinned at the bright blush that lit Ed’s face and started for his bedroom.

When he set the blonde atop the covers, Ed winced, and Roy backed away slightly. “We won’t do anything that-”

Ed cut him off with a mumbled “shut up” and brought the man’s body down onto his. Roy reached for Ed’s lips with his own as he went about divesting them of their clothing. Ed eagerly assisted him in that endeavor, and soon they were both naked on his bed.

Roy scowled and held back an inhuman growl when he saw all the bruises that marred the golden body beneath him. They looked angry and mistreated, and Roy suddenly wondered if Ed had even rubbed anything on them. Of course, with every cent that came Ed’s way finding itself in Al’s bank account, Roy could accurately guess that no, Ed hadn’t done anything for them.

Roy sighed before kissing Ed quickly and whispering that he’d be right back. He walked to his master bath and pulled open his medicine cabinet. Reaching for any ointment that would soothe the pained blonde, Roy quickly returned to the bed. He saw Ed glance at the tube in his hand, and he repressed an angry sigh when the blonde tensed. Greed had more than likely hurt Ed internally, as well. He should have guessed from Ed’s limp earlier that afternoon.

Roy put a knee on the mattress and instructed Ed to flip onto his stomach with a gentle prodding from his free hand. Once the blonde had, Roy straddled the back of his thighs and grimaced at the large bruise across his back. He flipped open the cap, watching as Ed tensed further, and squeezed the ointment onto his fingers.

He gently but thoroughly massaged it into the bruised skin of Ed’s back and legs, trying not to press too hard while at the same time trying to release some of the tension in the muscles. Roy had Ed flip over onto his back and repeated the process on the boy’s front, sneering in anger when he came upon the blonde’s bruised cock.

Thankfully the aloe in the ointment was putting the young man at ease, his golden eyes growing heavy with exhaustion. Roy smiled gently at him while he continued to massage battered muscles. When every bruise had been tended to, Roy tossed the tube aside and moved from atop Ed. He raised the blonde enough to pull the covers down, and then pulled them over Ed’s body.

“Wait, I thought…” Ed murmured sleepily.

“Sleep in my arms tonight, Edward. Tomorrow will be soon enough for questions and actions.” Roy joined Ed under the covers and reached out for the blonde. Ed looked into his eyes for a moment then slid into Roy’s waiting arms, hesitantly wrapping his own around the older man’s back. “You’re safe, Edward. If you need someone to be your strength, let it be me.”

Quiet sobs answered him. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Edward.”

The sobs continued, but the arms around his body tightened an impossible amount, letting Roy know that Ed wasn’t going to let him go any time soon. And Roy was just fine by that.

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Happy Valentine's Day!