Body Love

Title: Body Love.
Author: Fox goddess
~website: foxgoddess.net
~email: fox@foxgoddess.net
Rating: R. While really this could be PG-15, that isn\'t used on most sites. While this could be pg-13, I don\'t really trust the intelligence of knowledge of thirteen year olds.
Summery: Duo is hiding something from Heero that may scare him away like it scared Hilde away.
Disclaimer: don\'t own them. They belong to the people who made them. I\'m just using them.

Duo eased the door open. It squeaked. He cursed. A dog barked. The landlady yelled. Her \"—that meddlesome dog\" dissolved into coughs. Stupid dog. That made if the fifth time that exact scene happened in the last five days. Every, single night…

This was the last time he was ever dog sitting, he swore. Then his sarcastic half added a \'Yeah, right.\'

The dog in there wasn\'t your run of the mill, sure I\'ll take care of your annoying, slobbering, mailman chaser, dumb as shit dog. She was Heero Yuy\'s annoying, slobbering, and dumb as shit prized greyhound. Whenever that icy, emotionless, uncaring, dense, and most important to Duo\'s raging hormones, fucking Hot Heero Yuy stood outside Duo\'s door with that mutt, Duo also meant but never yelled his \"Hell No.\" Even if he wish he could, even if he knew his bachelors apartment would smell like shit and urine after the dog left, even if Duo sneezed into fits from the dog hair for weeks afterward, he always said \"Sure, dude\", acting like a calm, collected cool guy complete with two-dollar sunglasses. Duo was head totally over heels and waving in love -- or was it lust? -- with Heero Yuy, his partner in crime.

While what Duo ate this morning remained a good enough mystery to require a 50\'s TV detective to solve, he remembered the exact newspaper add for squeezable Charmin Toilet paper he read right before meeting Heero Yuy. There he\'d been, reading the newspaper at his last rat hole, a place so miniature he\'d fit three of them into his current apartment, not expecting anyone till an hour. Hilde, his former boss, money-giver, best friend and girlfriend, said she\'d be there at 9:05. The clock ticked eight. So when three stiff knocks on the door awakened him from his near doze at the boring news, he\'s jumped up, grabbed his gun, and walked to the door like the assassin and thief he was.
He almost fainted at the absolutely cute, dead hot, messy brown haired, intense blue eyed guy standing outside his apartment.

\"Hello,\" He stuttered, careful not to say any complementary words like \'can I fuck you?\' in case this guy was a homophobic loser. Hilde\'s always complaining that all the good guys are gay fairies. On contraire, he knew all hot ones tended to be straight and not up to his type of night.

\"Hullo. I am Heero Yuy. My skills are at hacking, stealth, and assassination. Hilde sent me. I am your new partner.\"

If Duo were one of those overdramatic, flamboyantly inclined people, he\'d have fallen to the ground and thanked the God he cursed, waving his arms about before fainting dead. Instead, he smiled a cool \"hello\", walked to his chair, picked up the newspaper, sat down, and stared at the word \"the\" for about an hour.

Duo eventually left the victimized \'The\' alone and moved his gaze to Heero. Hilde never mentioned giving him a partner, specially not one like that. Heero looked nearly emaciated, with only ropy muscles hanging off a skeletal body; it gave Heero the needy look that Duo so loved. Chocolate hair fell over Asian eyes. Half Japanese, Duo wagered from the skin tone. No Japanese Duo ever seen had those eyes. Heero\'s ice blue gaze took ever detail in but nothing out.

Duo smiled as his mind returned to the present. That had been one of his happiest days in his very dreary existents. So locked up in memory, he hadn\'t noticed the slight hint of a well-known smell in the air: blood. When he did, he ran to the washing pile. A pair of silvery white boxers topped the washing piles. Blood caked the crotch area. Duo cursed a sailor-worthy curse. He\'d been so tired this morning; he forgot to wash them.

He slapped on a pair of latex gloves, usually reserved for cleaning his weapons us. He picked the boxers up with latex covered hands and headed toward the bathroom. The offending piece of clothing was soon submerged in a lot of soapy water, as were his hands and a scrubber.

This was unfair. He was a guy for fucking sake. He should not have to clean after a girl\'s thing every single time. He hated it; he absolutely hated it. This was the catalyst in Hilde\'s and Duo\'s breakup.

Once again, his mind went back to a time when he and his girlfriend traded offhanded \"I-love-you\'s\" and when he hardly thought of Heero as anything but a work partner he so loved Hilde. They, Hilde, Heero, and himself had gotten home late from a local bar, the Two Flamingoes, totally smashed. Heero almost did not make it home and Hilde barely mad it to Duo\'s pad.

Duo\'s weapon and Anime obsessions prevented Duo from having a couch or any free space for Hilde to sleep in. She must sleep in the bed, with Duo. everDuo hadn\'t had a cough, or any free space anywhere else for Hilde to sleep, but the bed. The first time and last \"sleeping\" together as it turned out to be.

That night, of all fucking nights, his monthly visitor decided to make a visit. And it did. It dripped into his boxers and into the off-white sheets. He awoke with the sun blasting light on his face, bright and early, and with a fucking big hangs over. He did not find the stain then, too concerned about his pounding head. . He only noticed it when Hilde screamed.

\"What?\" He grumbled, rubbing his eyes to try to see.
\"You\'re bleeding down there! Like a girl!\" she screeched.
Oh, Shit.
\"Calm down, Hilde, I can--\"
Hilde grabbed his boxers and pulled them down. His stuff rolled away with the boxers. Nothing hindered Hilde\'s sight.
\"You--You-- What are you?\" Half in shock, she barely scrambled away, reaching out for her jacket and gun.
\"Calm down. I can explain.\"
\"Explain what? You\'re a Dyke. A fucking dyke. Well, Duo, or is that really your name? I am not, freak.\"
\"Hilde, I love you. Calm down.\" He tried reaching for her, to stop her leaving. He needed to explain. He was a guy, he just needed to explain, get her to understand.

\"Liar. You\'re a girl. You lied to me. You lied! Dyke.\" She found her jacket, slung it on, with one hand already reaching for her gun.

\"Hilde, I am a guy. Please, Hilde.\" Hilde cocked her gun, pointing it straight at his head.

\"Get away from me freak. Go find yourself some bull Dyke to lie to.\" Hilde backed away, still with the gun, until she reached the door and scrambled out of it.

\"Hilde,\" he whispered before curling up on the bed in his own bloody filth, crying
.
With a screamed curse, Duo came back to the present, his hands wrinkled and the boxers. He\'d scrubbed them till they tore.

Why hadn\'t Hilde understood? Why? Why hadn\'t he been born in a male body, as he should have? All these whys filled his mind as he tore his once favorite pair of boxers to threads. Tears joined the sink water. No. He clenched his fists. He stopped crying. Boys did not cry.
Finally, his mind shut down, the boxers went in to the trash, and he lay down on his twin size bed.
Why...
Knock, knock, knock.
Duo\'s eyes widened. Those three sharp notes always meant the same thing: Heero. He was two hours early.

Scrambling out of bed, grabbing clothing, wiping his face clean, all in less than two minutes, Duo went to answer the door. He only forgot one thing, but he was able to grab the mutt right after he opened the door, when it tried to escape.

\"Duo.\" Heero almost smiled. His lips curved a bit. It\'d be kidding himself that rare lip quirk was for seeing him instead of the mutt. Why would anyone Duo want such a freak like him?

\"Here\'s your mutt. It\'s been a real pleasure cleaning up after him,\" Duo smiled his regular smile. The smile reached his eyes. The smile was completely false. Being a master at disguise came in handy around Heero or the world. \"Have a good trip.\" Aka: were you able to break into that place and get the needed infomation?

Heero nodded twice: once as thanks for his mutt, and twice for yes, he\'d gotten it, of course. The dog barked and licked his master\'s face as a welcome. Heero greeted his dog with seemingly indifference in public. He spoiled that mutt in private.

\"Duo, want to go to a bar tonight?\"

Duo eyes widened and his smile could pass a lie detector test. Heero wanted him to go out? No, this was a friendly thing, right? How could someone want a freak? Hilde told Heero Duo\'s secret, he could bet on that.

\"Sure, I\'m up for it. What time?\" He masked his inner thoughts. People didn’t like gloomy people, he learned, so best to act happy if he wanted anyone to like him.

\"Now.\"

Now? But it was only -- Duo looked at the clock -- nine o\'clock in the evening. Where had the day gone?

\"Just let me get dressed, ok, pal? You can stay.\"

Heero nodded and did so, seeming a stiff and lost rock in the middle of the overly large, sofa.

Duo grinned as he got on his breasts binders, Turtle sports bra, his t-shirt with 100% male on it and leather pants, and an extra super-strength tampon from a box hidden in his closet. He quickly got ready, careful to wipe out any signs of blood and throw away the tampon wrapper.

Finally, done, he looked himself in the mirror. Some powdery makeup covered his puffy eyes. Mascara thickened his eyebrows. Nothing could really hide his feminine facial features. Must people put them off to the beauty of his mum, these features, thankfully. To be a convincing male, he knew he should get rid of waist-length braid. He couldn’t. His mum, she loved it on her little girl. It was the only thing he had left of her. Even though he hated it sometimes, a lot of times.

\"Duo.\" He broke his gaze away from the mirror, flattened his shirt to hide any signs of his wrapped breasts, and went out to face Heero.

\"Done! How do I look? Hot as hell, aye? Sure to get the ladies, ne?\" Duo winked. Heero nodded at him, maybe agreeing, maybe just nodding for the sake of it.

Duo grabbed Heero and dragged him outside, a happy smile really on his face, not at all faking it. Tonight would be fun.

As long as it didn’t turn out like last time.

Duo almost chocked on his tongue at the bar Heero choose. Cocksuckers: The local gay bar.

\"It alright?\" Heero even had an emotion on his face: worry.

\"Yeah! I love this place.\" Duo grinned as Heero lost that worry and even more amazing, smiled.

Could it be? Heero like guys?

Yes, he could. But could he like a guy like Duo, all of Duo? He thought not. Who could like someone like Duo of all people? The homosexual and transgender communities didn\'t mesh in most places.

Duo hid his inner torment again as he dragged Heero to the end of the line, then chatted his head off as they waited in the line for ten minutes, winked at the bouncers, and yelled into the thick mass of people inside though his yell drowned in the music.

\"Want to dance?\" Heero asked, quickly

\"Yes!\"

Heero smiled briefly at took Duo\'s hand as they made their way into the crowd. First they danced a fast, arms waving in the air, bodies touching each other in a sexual, maybe accidental way. In an act of courage, Duo slipped his hand around Heero\'s waist.

Heero smiled back as they continued to dance, each other\'s hands braving the others flesh. Duo decided to break the barrier and brave one almost forbidden flesh-to-flesh act.
He leaned forward and put his lips against Heero\'s. Sweet. Good.

Heero pressed himself against Duo and opened his mouth. Duo took the request and slipped his tongue in to lightly play there.

Duo couldn\'t believe it. Heero, he, they were kissing. So right, so hot, so good. But what would happen when Heero found out about Duo?

Duo withdrew, stepped away.

\"Heero, there... there are a few things you have to know about me. First.\" He lowered his eyes so not to look into the heavenly blue ones.

Heero kissed him briefly on the forehead before leading him out of the crowd, and then the club, and then into Duo\'s apartment and onto the sofa morphed in his eyes into something almost elegant.

\"And what is it?\" Heero finally spoke.

Duo, eyes still lowered, reach down and pulled off of his shirt, revealing his bindings.
\"I--\" He unwrapped the bindings, freeing his female breasts. \"am--\" He quickly took oh pants and boxers, revealing the fake dick and tampon string. \"--a girl in body. But I am a boy. I was born into the wrong body. I\'m a male. I am. I\'m not a dyke nor a fag hag.\" He rambled on, trying to get Heero to understand.
\"Duo.\" the said man looked up finally, into Heero\'s eyes. Heero kissed him on the forehead, though did not speak.
Duo understood. He wrapped his arms around Heero and kissed him.
They feel asleep on that old, ratty sofa.