Vignette #2: Dashing Duo The Pirate!
folder
Gundam Wing/AC › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
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Views:
350
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Gundam Wing/AC › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
350
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Gundam Wing/AC, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Vignette #2: Dashing Duo The Pirate!
Vignette #2: Dashing Duo the Pirate!
Editor\'s note: Hello a to to all my adoring fans! Now before I address the subject of my story I\'d love to respond to some well deserved praise! Firstly let me just say that I adhere only to the highest quality of the English Language so any mail or review mangling said language will be ignored as I cannot be bothered to decipher this mysterious \"fangirl\" speak. I suspect this to be some sort of terrorist communication so Mr Ridge if you\'re reading this I\'ll be happy to forward you a list of culprits. As for my replies, with the preface that not all of these people are members of this fine community of authors... To \"Misogynist Mama\" I agree with you wholeheartedly. To \"Icz\" I am utterly utterly appalled at the insinuation that am anything but forthcoming... parody indeed! To \"Cellerikun\": Please inform Mr Coleman that his entire career makes ME cry. To \"PhoodPhreak\": It is ShuMEI not ShuMAI you overweight American. To \"SailorIsis\": I don\'t need to see a doctor, I AM a doctor. I am also an astrophysicist. And lastly to \"HPSSDMRW4EVR\": I am not a troll. You\'re obviously thinking of the bridge dwelling fellow that attempted to eat your siblings.
Now for the lovingly crafted vignette I wrote. This I just know occurred in a past life in which my dear loving husband Duo* was a dashing and handsome Pirate on the High Seas along with his not quite as handsome cabin boy Heero. Naturally I was a beautiful and perfect noblewoman because pirates are rank and offensive. Unless they\'re Duo. And of course I including some lovingly written editor\'s notes to enhance Duo\'s understanding of the text. Alas if only he had gone to college as I did!
*said husband could not be reached for comment
[ed. note: Well he is a very busy man]
---
Beautiful and lovely Shumei looked startled as the strong and dashing form of Duo Maxwell knelt before her in seeming obeisance. \"Oh, dearest Shu, the love of my life and woman who would leave me desolate if she ever deserted me, I ask for thy hand in holy matrimony,\" The long luscious locks of his hair fluttered dramatically in the tempest. His strong, unshaven, jaw was set firmly with manly determination. [ed. note: That\'s how it\'s SUPPOSED to go. I shouldn\'t have had to ask YOU!] The wind on the deck of the ship whipped around them, and beautiful Shumei touched a hand to her fluttering breast. \"Oh Duo love I...\"
\"Hush fairest lady,\" Duo pleaded, a strong gloved hand against those pouty lips that he wanted to kiss more than anything. Ah how the heavenly angel had captivated him. [ed. note: I hope you\'re taking notes buddy.] his breath caught as her honeyed lashes swept fair cheeks wet with the rain. \"If you refuse me now, I shall fall upon my rapier!\" He stood dramatically unsheathing the weapon not caring about the gasps of his crew mates. [ed. note: That\'s REAL chivalry mister. The least you could do is hold the car door for me!] \"You cannot cap\'n!\" They shouted. And the evil one with the eye patch looked on in seething jealousy. [ed. note: Because he will never EVER have me.] His evil monkey perched on his shoulder on also chittered with rage as the one eyed beast owed he would get even. The little blonde airy fairy Duo wannabe next to him was also jealous, but not because he wanted fair Shumei no! He wanted something far darker from the hot hunky Duo! [ed. note: And if you think for a minute that I believe that crock about his hand \"slipping\" THINK AGAIN!] Everyone in the world was jealous of Duo\'s unending and perfect love for perfect Shumei. The blonde and beautiful Shumei stood and ran to embrace him. Truly she was almost overcome with emotion but she forced herself to stay strong.
\"Oh honey, my darling Captain Duo, how could I ever refuse such masculine perfection!\" She put a hand to her forehead and swooned as the delicate beauty she was. \"But alas! I also love another! The cabin boy Heero, slow and simple though he may be, he hath stolen my beautiful and perfect heart from my lovely breasts!\" [ed. note: And they ARE lovely.] Duo whirled to where the slow boy swabbed the deck. He was a scrawny and pale lad with wild hair and an empty stare but there was no denying it, Duo realized, his big masculine heart throbbing harder beneath those HUGE pecs. [ed. note: Do you think this might be a hint to drag your ass to the gym once in awhile?] Heero was a creature he too must possess! With a very manly grunt he gave a nod and jerked the cabin boy over. \"You!\"
\"Me?\" Heero\'s pretty eyes went wide. Shumei saw the hot heavy erection in Duo\'s trousers that they were struggling to contain but could not because this massive and manly package would make a horse, nay an elephant weep! [ed. note: And the next time I tell you I\'m not in the mood I\'m playing HARD TO GET!] He looked around to see if there was anyone else but he was all alone. Shumei ran over. \"Oh darling you\'ve frightened him! You must coax him gently and as a refined and fine and perfect woman I do know gentleness!\"
Heero shivered and trembled and buried his soft baby face into her chest. [ed. note: Honey let\'s make another baby.] She adored Heero because he inspired such motherly feelings inside of her. She loved to coddle him and he even had an adorable little penis she would play with and coo to him. Shumei played with his hair now and comforted him. \"It\'s okay Heero, Duo is much man but he will not hurt you.\" Heero gave a nod before walking over and hugging Heero. Ah her dear little Heero was so wild and untamed at first that Shumei despair she would ever tame him but tame him she and now he was just a darling. [ed. note: And he does the dishes unlike SOME people I could name.] \"I will wed you both for the high seas gives man freedom\" he declared grandly. Shumei wept beautiful crystalline pearls of joy and looked around to watch all rejoicing or feigning joy, [for if they did not she knew Duo would cut them down] but what was this?! That evil little tea drinking fruity man she knew only as Q suddenly lunged at Duo obscenely. \"I can stand by no longer! Cap\'n I need you!\" [ed. note: And I still haven\'t forgotten that snide little toast he made at the wedding reception!]
Seeing the evil knife in Q\'s evil hand, Duo reacted to dealt a swift blow of justice. He unsheathed his manly rapier (which still was no match in size for his supreme salami) and gave a swift whack to his head sending it flying across the deck. [ed. note: That\'s what you do the next time he refuses to eat my famous honey glazed pork!] In awe and fear of their mighty testosterone charged leader, the crew gave a loud whoop of triumph and kicked the offensive head off the deck. Shumei fainted for she was delicate and could not stomach such brutality even though when she woke up the great display of manly possessiveness would make her give herself to him over and over until her tender womb was sore from feeling the might of his powerful pepperoni! She smiled even in her faint at the thought of his talented tongue playing with her perfectly colored and shaped nipples. [ed. note: The perfect color is called \"mine\"] In any case, Duo\'s powerful chest was pulsing and rippling with machissmo so much that his meager shirt could not contain it and burst at the seams displaying his glistening pecs. Oh indeed Shumei was sad to have missed this delectable feast for the eyes!
In pure primal rage and anger Duo rend the body with his bare hands and bone crunching grip. The crew felt grateful that he had not turned his savage wrath on them! [ed. note: Remember this the next time that waitress brings the wrong order. 15 percent tip indeed!] After having torn the bloody carcass, the magnanimous Captain Duo declared it a feast day and all the crows and parrots and other pirate animals feasted upon the offender\'s eeevil flesh. And thus Duo and Heero and beautiful wonderful not bad very great Shumei made wild and sweet love into the night. And all night. And thus they sailed the high seas and had mindblowing sex and oh woe be to that one eyed motherfucker who dared insult her cooking in the galleon. [ed. note: Call MY soup too salty will he!] His one eyed head decorated the captain\'s quarters as a trophy.
ed. note: And that is how the good old pirates dealt with dissension on the high seas. I hope this has taught my faithful readers and devoted fans a very important lesson. I am Duo\'s number one priority and let me tell you something that is how a man treats a woman! Because I am nothing if not a fragile and delicate flower of breeding and noty. ty. And I\'ll happily unleash the towering fury of my husband on anyone who forgets that!*
*towering fury may not be delivered by an actual Duo
ed. note: Ooohhhhh yes it will!
Editor\'s note: Hello a to to all my adoring fans! Now before I address the subject of my story I\'d love to respond to some well deserved praise! Firstly let me just say that I adhere only to the highest quality of the English Language so any mail or review mangling said language will be ignored as I cannot be bothered to decipher this mysterious \"fangirl\" speak. I suspect this to be some sort of terrorist communication so Mr Ridge if you\'re reading this I\'ll be happy to forward you a list of culprits. As for my replies, with the preface that not all of these people are members of this fine community of authors... To \"Misogynist Mama\" I agree with you wholeheartedly. To \"Icz\" I am utterly utterly appalled at the insinuation that am anything but forthcoming... parody indeed! To \"Cellerikun\": Please inform Mr Coleman that his entire career makes ME cry. To \"PhoodPhreak\": It is ShuMEI not ShuMAI you overweight American. To \"SailorIsis\": I don\'t need to see a doctor, I AM a doctor. I am also an astrophysicist. And lastly to \"HPSSDMRW4EVR\": I am not a troll. You\'re obviously thinking of the bridge dwelling fellow that attempted to eat your siblings.
Now for the lovingly crafted vignette I wrote. This I just know occurred in a past life in which my dear loving husband Duo* was a dashing and handsome Pirate on the High Seas along with his not quite as handsome cabin boy Heero. Naturally I was a beautiful and perfect noblewoman because pirates are rank and offensive. Unless they\'re Duo. And of course I including some lovingly written editor\'s notes to enhance Duo\'s understanding of the text. Alas if only he had gone to college as I did!
*said husband could not be reached for comment
[ed. note: Well he is a very busy man]
---
Beautiful and lovely Shumei looked startled as the strong and dashing form of Duo Maxwell knelt before her in seeming obeisance. \"Oh, dearest Shu, the love of my life and woman who would leave me desolate if she ever deserted me, I ask for thy hand in holy matrimony,\" The long luscious locks of his hair fluttered dramatically in the tempest. His strong, unshaven, jaw was set firmly with manly determination. [ed. note: That\'s how it\'s SUPPOSED to go. I shouldn\'t have had to ask YOU!] The wind on the deck of the ship whipped around them, and beautiful Shumei touched a hand to her fluttering breast. \"Oh Duo love I...\"
\"Hush fairest lady,\" Duo pleaded, a strong gloved hand against those pouty lips that he wanted to kiss more than anything. Ah how the heavenly angel had captivated him. [ed. note: I hope you\'re taking notes buddy.] his breath caught as her honeyed lashes swept fair cheeks wet with the rain. \"If you refuse me now, I shall fall upon my rapier!\" He stood dramatically unsheathing the weapon not caring about the gasps of his crew mates. [ed. note: That\'s REAL chivalry mister. The least you could do is hold the car door for me!] \"You cannot cap\'n!\" They shouted. And the evil one with the eye patch looked on in seething jealousy. [ed. note: Because he will never EVER have me.] His evil monkey perched on his shoulder on also chittered with rage as the one eyed beast owed he would get even. The little blonde airy fairy Duo wannabe next to him was also jealous, but not because he wanted fair Shumei no! He wanted something far darker from the hot hunky Duo! [ed. note: And if you think for a minute that I believe that crock about his hand \"slipping\" THINK AGAIN!] Everyone in the world was jealous of Duo\'s unending and perfect love for perfect Shumei. The blonde and beautiful Shumei stood and ran to embrace him. Truly she was almost overcome with emotion but she forced herself to stay strong.
\"Oh honey, my darling Captain Duo, how could I ever refuse such masculine perfection!\" She put a hand to her forehead and swooned as the delicate beauty she was. \"But alas! I also love another! The cabin boy Heero, slow and simple though he may be, he hath stolen my beautiful and perfect heart from my lovely breasts!\" [ed. note: And they ARE lovely.] Duo whirled to where the slow boy swabbed the deck. He was a scrawny and pale lad with wild hair and an empty stare but there was no denying it, Duo realized, his big masculine heart throbbing harder beneath those HUGE pecs. [ed. note: Do you think this might be a hint to drag your ass to the gym once in awhile?] Heero was a creature he too must possess! With a very manly grunt he gave a nod and jerked the cabin boy over. \"You!\"
\"Me?\" Heero\'s pretty eyes went wide. Shumei saw the hot heavy erection in Duo\'s trousers that they were struggling to contain but could not because this massive and manly package would make a horse, nay an elephant weep! [ed. note: And the next time I tell you I\'m not in the mood I\'m playing HARD TO GET!] He looked around to see if there was anyone else but he was all alone. Shumei ran over. \"Oh darling you\'ve frightened him! You must coax him gently and as a refined and fine and perfect woman I do know gentleness!\"
Heero shivered and trembled and buried his soft baby face into her chest. [ed. note: Honey let\'s make another baby.] She adored Heero because he inspired such motherly feelings inside of her. She loved to coddle him and he even had an adorable little penis she would play with and coo to him. Shumei played with his hair now and comforted him. \"It\'s okay Heero, Duo is much man but he will not hurt you.\" Heero gave a nod before walking over and hugging Heero. Ah her dear little Heero was so wild and untamed at first that Shumei despair she would ever tame him but tame him she and now he was just a darling. [ed. note: And he does the dishes unlike SOME people I could name.] \"I will wed you both for the high seas gives man freedom\" he declared grandly. Shumei wept beautiful crystalline pearls of joy and looked around to watch all rejoicing or feigning joy, [for if they did not she knew Duo would cut them down] but what was this?! That evil little tea drinking fruity man she knew only as Q suddenly lunged at Duo obscenely. \"I can stand by no longer! Cap\'n I need you!\" [ed. note: And I still haven\'t forgotten that snide little toast he made at the wedding reception!]
Seeing the evil knife in Q\'s evil hand, Duo reacted to dealt a swift blow of justice. He unsheathed his manly rapier (which still was no match in size for his supreme salami) and gave a swift whack to his head sending it flying across the deck. [ed. note: That\'s what you do the next time he refuses to eat my famous honey glazed pork!] In awe and fear of their mighty testosterone charged leader, the crew gave a loud whoop of triumph and kicked the offensive head off the deck. Shumei fainted for she was delicate and could not stomach such brutality even though when she woke up the great display of manly possessiveness would make her give herself to him over and over until her tender womb was sore from feeling the might of his powerful pepperoni! She smiled even in her faint at the thought of his talented tongue playing with her perfectly colored and shaped nipples. [ed. note: The perfect color is called \"mine\"] In any case, Duo\'s powerful chest was pulsing and rippling with machissmo so much that his meager shirt could not contain it and burst at the seams displaying his glistening pecs. Oh indeed Shumei was sad to have missed this delectable feast for the eyes!
In pure primal rage and anger Duo rend the body with his bare hands and bone crunching grip. The crew felt grateful that he had not turned his savage wrath on them! [ed. note: Remember this the next time that waitress brings the wrong order. 15 percent tip indeed!] After having torn the bloody carcass, the magnanimous Captain Duo declared it a feast day and all the crows and parrots and other pirate animals feasted upon the offender\'s eeevil flesh. And thus Duo and Heero and beautiful wonderful not bad very great Shumei made wild and sweet love into the night. And all night. And thus they sailed the high seas and had mindblowing sex and oh woe be to that one eyed motherfucker who dared insult her cooking in the galleon. [ed. note: Call MY soup too salty will he!] His one eyed head decorated the captain\'s quarters as a trophy.
ed. note: And that is how the good old pirates dealt with dissension on the high seas. I hope this has taught my faithful readers and devoted fans a very important lesson. I am Duo\'s number one priority and let me tell you something that is how a man treats a woman! Because I am nothing if not a fragile and delicate flower of breeding and noty. ty. And I\'ll happily unleash the towering fury of my husband on anyone who forgets that!*
*towering fury may not be delivered by an actual Duo
ed. note: Ooohhhhh yes it will!